Evidence That Columbus Discovered The People In The USA That Had Been There for Thousands Of Years

Looks like the history books weren’t exactly right. Columbus discovered a land that people were living in for a long time. Sorry Europe and especially Italy.

Evidence was found that people were walking around New Mexico a heckuva long time before 1492.

For quite some time it has been “settled science” that humans migrated into the Americas during deglaciation as ice-free passages opened. While there have been indications that humans may have arrived much earlier, we now have “rock solid” evidence that humans were already in New Mexico about 23,000 years ago.

Earliest evidence of human activity found in the Americas, researchers report
Date: September 23, 2021
Source: University of Arizona
Summary: Footprints at White Sands National Park in New Mexico confirm human presence over at least two millennia, with the oldest tracks dating back 23,000 years, say scientists.

Footprints found at White Sands National Park in New Mexico provide the earliest unequivocal evidence of human activity in the Americas and provide insight into life over 23,000 years ago, scientists report.

The findings are described in an article in the journal Science.

Researchers Jeff Pigati and Kathleen Springer, with the U.S. Geological Survey, used radiocarbon dating of seed layers above and below the footprints to determine their age. The dates range in age and confirm human presence over at least two millennia, with the oldest tracks dating back 23,000 years.

Thank You WUWT

“Lymphocytes Run Amok”: Pathologists Investigate Deaths after COVID-19 Vaccination – Vaccine Terror

Source: https://de.rt.com/inland/124390-lymphozyten-laufen-amok-pathologen-untersuchen-
todesfaelle-nach-impfung/. Translated from German by http://www.DeepL.com/Translator.

Link here, excerpt below.

At a press conference today, two experienced pathologists presented their investigations of ten deaths linked to COVID-19 vaccination. They were astonished by the results.

Professor Arne Burkhardt and Professor Walter Lang, who presented their findings at a press conference today, are both long-time experienced pathologists. Burkhardt headed the Institute of Pathology in Reutlingen for 18 years, and Lang headed a private institute specializing in lung pathology, among other things, for 35 years. Both, in collaboration with other, unnamed pathologists, investigated ten deaths that had occurred after COVID-19 vaccination. They obtained the tissue material from the forensic pathologists who had first examined the cases. The decedents examined were all over 50.

Of the ten deaths, they found, five were very likely and two were probably related to vaccination; they considered one unclear, and in two they saw no causal relationship. What puzzled them, however, were the similarities among the cases they linked to vaccination.

The most striking finding, however, related to lymphocytes. “The lymphocytes are running amok in all organs,” Professor Lang called it. Not only did he show accumulations of lymphocytes in a wide variety Lymphocytes Run Amok September 21, 2021 Page 1 of 2of tissues, from the heart muscle to the kidney, liver, spleen, and uterus; he also showed images in which the tissue was massively attacked as a result, and a whole series of lymphocyte follicles, which
are, as it were, small, developing lymph nodes in completely the wrong place, for example in lung tissue.

It also showed detachments of endothelial cells – which are the smooth cells that form the wall of blood vessels – clumps of red blood cells that ultimately cause thrombosis, and giant cells that formed around trapped foreign bodies.

Lang said he had not seen anything like these clusters of lymphocytes in hundreds of thousands of pathological studies. Normally, other white blood cells, the granulocytes, are found in inflammations. In these cases, however, these are hardly found, and instead there are masses of lymphocytes.

Further investigations are needed to determine which type of lymphocyte is involved in this process and how exactly it is triggered in order to prove a watertight connection with the vaccination; however, the histological examinations required for this would still take at least six months.

Over 3,000 Doctors and Scientists Sign Declaration Accusing COVID Policy-Makers of ‘Crimes Against Humanity’

A “Physicians’ Declaration” produced by an international alliance of physicians and medical scientists strongly condemns the global strategy to treat COVID, accusing policy-makers of potential “crimes against humanity” for preventing physicians from providing life-saving treatments for their patients and suppressing open scientific discussion.

The document states that “one size fits all” treatment recommendations have resulted in needless illness and death.

As of 1:00 Friday afternoon, the declaration had garnered over 3,100 signatures from doctors and scientists around the world.

A group of physicians and scientists met in Rome, Italy earlier this month for a three day Global Covid Summit to speak “truth to power about Covid pandemic research and treatment.”

The Physicians’ Declaration was first read at the Rome Covid Summit, catalyzing an explosion of active support from medical scientists and physicians around the globe. These professionals were not expecting career threats, character assassination, papers and research censored, social accounts blocked, search results manipulated, clinical trials and patient observations banned, and their professional history and accomplishments altered or omitted in academic and mainstream media.

More here, but we are being had. They are not letting Doctors cure us and they are asking to actually help.

The current government(s) are trying to control us and doing harm. Protect yourselves.

Facebook Still Sucks

To get a full understanding of how bad it is, the WSJ ran a series on the Facebook files recently. Link here but it might require a subscription. It points out the obvious, but also that it’s such a screwed up company now that it can’t get out of it’s own way.

It talked about how it ruins the lives of people, especially teen aged girls. Zuckerberg then said how it enhances peoples lives in a washing machine spin of doublespeak.

They block who they don’t like and let who they do like post anything, even against their own policies.

Now the Facebook fact checkers just censored peer reviewed science because it doesn’t fit the narrative.

And this about Zuck:

Facebook Investor: Company Paid $5 Billion to FTC as ‘Quid Pro Quo’ to Shield Zuckerberg

Fortunately, I don’t care as I cancelled them. It along with Twitter are helping to ruin the country and people’s lives around the world. It has taken a political position on things. I don’t care which side it picks, but it should have been a neutral platform.

Instead, it is now a high school place where you are a part of the in crowd or not. Those with a triple digit IQ should move to a better and more productive place, like going outside and enjoying life.

It was too childish for me and I didn’t want to open it anymore to see the spew that comes from it.

I still talk to those who really are my friends. Most of them were never on Facebook.

For Introverts, not being on it also lets you escape from a lot of noise that sucks your personal energy and time.

Another Round Up Of Covid Vaccine Lies, Dangers and Misinformation and Myths Exposed

Julius Ruechel dissects the vaccine narrative

Exceprt:

If a plumber with a lifetime of experience were to tell you that water runs uphill, you would know he is lying and that the lie is not accidental. It is a lie with a purpose. If you can also demonstrate that the plumber knows in advance that the product he is promoting with that lie is snake oil, you have evidence for a deliberate con. And once you understand what’s really inside that bottle of snake oil, you will begin to understand the purpose of the con.

By now it is abundantly clear from the epidemiological data that the vaccinated are able to both catch and spread the disease. Clearly vaccination isn’t going to make this virus disappear. Only a mind that has lost its grasp on reality can fail to see how ridiculous all this has become.

But a tour through pre-COVID science demonstrates that, from day one, long before you and I had even heard of this virus, it was 100% inevitable and 100% predictable that these vaccines would never be capable of eradicating this coronavirus and would never lead to any kind of lasting herd immunity. Even worse, lockdowns and mass vaccination have created a dangerous set of circumstances that interferes with our immune system’s ability to protect us against other respiratory viruses. They also risk driving the evolution of this virus towards mutations that are more dangerous to both the vaccinated and the unvaccinated alike. Lockdowns, mass vaccinations, and mass booster shots were never capable of delivering on any of the promises that were made to the public.……

DOES THE VACCINE CAUSE VARIANTS? The Ronacoaster, Once You Get in the Vaccine Car You Ain’t Getting Off Until The Ride’s Over

Excerpt:

Essentially, the LA public health officials are stating the exact same thing that Dr. Anthony Fauci said last Sunday on CBS Face The Nation.   The Mu variant is showing greater infectious transmissibility, and simultaneously the data shows this variant -yet again- has an ability to evade the vaccine induced specific antibodies.

The Delta variant had the same set of traits as described above for Mu.   Greater transmissibility, greater ability to avoid vaccine induced antibodies, but less deadly than the original virus.  This mutation (ie variant) is why vaccinated persons were later discovered to be capable of being infected (with higher loads of virus) and transmitting or shedding the variant at higher levels.  Thus, the need for a booster to target the Delta variant (shot 3).

Former Pfizer VP: ‘Your government is lying to you in a way that could lead to your death.’

Excerpt:

‘Look out the window, and think, “why is my government lying to me about something so fundamental?” Because, I think the answer is, they are going to kill you using this method. They’re going to kill you and your family.’

Dr. Michael Yeadon, Pfizer’s former Vice President and Chief Scientist for Allergy & Respiratory who spent 32 years in the industry leading new medicines research and retired from the pharmaceutical giant with “the most senior research position” in his field, spoke with LifeSiteNews in a telephone interview. 

He addressed the “demonstrably false” propaganda from governments in response to COVID-19, including the “lie” of dangerous variants, the totalitarian potential for “vaccine passports,” and the strong possibility we are dealing with a “conspiracy” which could lead to something far beyond the carnage experienced in the wars and massacres of the 20th century.

Regulatory agencies like the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the European Medicines Agency, have announced that since these “top-up” vaccines will be so similar to the prior injections which were approved for emergency use authorization, drug companies will not be required to “perform any clinical safety studies.”

Idaho doctor reports a ‘20 times increase’ of cancer in vaccinated patients 

Excerpt (This one is true and troubling)

“Since January 1, in the laboratory, I’m seeing a 20 times increase of endometrial cancers over what I see on an annual basis,” reported Dr. Cole in the video clip shared on Twitter.  

“I’m not exaggerating at all because I look at my numbers year over year, I’m like ‘Gosh, I’ve never seen this many endometrial cancers before’,” he continued.  

Explaining his findings at the March 18 event, Cole told Idahoans that the vaccines seem to be causing serious autoimmune issues, in a way he described as a “reverse HIV” response. 

Cole explained that two types of cells are required for adequate immune system function: “Helper T-cells,” also called “CD4 cells,” and “killer T-cells,” often known as “CD8 cells.” 

According to Cole, in patients with HIV, there is a massive suppression of “helper T-cells” which cause immune system functions to plummet, and leave the patient susceptible to a variety of illnesses.  

Covid Phase 3 Trials – Human Testing

OK, It’s sarcasm in a way, but the phase 3 clinical trials on humans don’t end until 2023. What is being passed as a vaccination is an emergency approval with no legal recourse. Pfizer’s FDA “approved vaccine”, Comirnaty is not available yet and will have a different recipe so they don’t get sued.

There are so many side effects of the current Jab that they need to protect themselves legally as the available mRNA version is killing people.

The CDC has changed the definition of a vaccine to cover for the jab. Vaccine– “a preparation that is used to stimulate the body’s immune response against diseases.” Instead of “PRODUCING IMMUNITY” the new definition moves the goal posts and states that their pseudo vaccine “STIMULATES THE BODY’S IMMUNE RESPONSE.” Let that sink in.

I’m not excusing Moderna or Johnson and Johnson (Astrazenica has it’s own problems and won’t get FDA approval until it gets to the USA) as they have a similar testing period.

Get ready for the legal cases when this becomes the new mesothelioma (hint, click for more sarcasm).

Covid Vaccine Dangers We Were Not Informed Of – This Time Pseudouridylyl

I am still trying to understand why there is such a push to get the jab by Governments, agencies such as the CDC, WHO, NIH the MSM and foundations like Bill and Melinda Gates. I’ve noticed if they try too hard to sell us something, it’s worth questioning. Like the fake Ivermectin story linked here. It’s not like the government has given us any reason to trust them or their motives recently. Some go so far as to say that there is an excess of lying about it.

There is plenty of evidence that the jab it isn’t working the way it was supposed to when considering the Covid re-emergence in Israel, the most vaccinated country in the world. Conversely, there is plenty of evidence that existing medicine proven to be safe are being disparaged, yet they are shown to be effective like HCQ, Zinc, Ivermectin, Z-Pak and so forth.

It makes me ask why is this happening. I think the jab has helped some people with co-morbitdities, but there are more fatalities and side effects from it than all other vaccines combined. It is far past when they have pulled other vaccines because of their danger.

I posted about graphene oxide, a poison and a substance that can make it a bio-weapon. This was my first red flag.

Now, I’m discovering the dangers of pseudouridylyl. This is a discussion about it and what it does.

COVID-19 RNA Based Vaccines and the Risk of Prion Disease (Yes, it can cause diseases that should be rare. This violates the do no harm Hippocratic Oath)

States Dr. Carrie Madej joins journalist Alex Newman to discuss the trans-humanist agenda behind the COVID vaccines…SARS-CoV-2 (the mathematical model) contains a replica of human chromosome 8, which means that the WHO PCR test kits should give a positive result in all people tested. More worryingly, chromosome 8 has to do with human intelligence and fertility. That means it could trigger an autoimmune reaction against a chromosome that codes for two of our most valuable human qualities.

Pfizer and Moderna have also incorporated an artificial nucleoside into the vaccine’s RNA, called pseudouridylyl, or “Psi” for short, which is absolutely out of this world. Dr. Madej says, “Nobody knows the effects of this… It can act like a computer hacking program. It can be like a one-way program, always trying to hack your body… they say they suppress our immune checkpoints so they can put the code in and our body doesn’t destroy it…

Here is an excerpt from a larger article and is the set up on new vaccines, the Covid jab and effects of pseudouridylyl.

The advent of new vaccine technology creates new potential mechanisms of vaccine adverse events. For example, the first killed polio vaccine actually caused polio in recipients because the up scaled manufacturing process did not effectively kill the polio virus before it was injected into patients. RNA based vaccines offers special risks of inducing specific adverse events.

One such potential adverse event is prion based diseases caused by activation of intrinsic proteins to form prions. A wealth of knowledge has been published on a class of RNA binding proteins shown to participating in causing a number of neurological diseases including Alzheimer’s disease and ALS. TDP-43 and FUS are among the best studied of these proteins [2].

The Pfizer RNA based COVID-19 vaccine was approved by the US FDA under an emergency use authorization without long term safety data. Because of concerns about the safety of this vaccine a study was performed to determine if the vaccine could potentially induce prion based disease.

Me——-> A bunch of science discussion here from the same article here to get you thinking whether it is safe for you.

Back to the link.—–>There is an old saying in medicine that “the cure may be worse than the disease.” The phrase can be applied to vaccines. In the current paper the concern is raised that the RNA based COVID vaccines have the potential to cause more disease than the epidemic of COVID-19.

This paper focuses on a novel potential adverse event mechanism causing prion disease which could be even more common and debilitating than the viral infection the vaccine is designed to prevent. While this paper focuses on one potential adverse event there are multiple other potential fatal adverse events as discussed below.

Over the last two decades there has been a concern among certain scientists that prions could be used as bioweapons. More recently there has been a concern that ubiquitous intracellular molecules could be activated to cause prion disease including Alzheimer’s disease, ALS and other neurodegenerative diseases.

This concern originates due to potential for misuse of research data on the mechanisms by which certain RNA binding proteins like TDP-43, FUS and others can be activated to form disease causing prions. The fact that this research, which could be used for bioweapons development, is funded by private organizations including the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, and Ellison Medical Foundation [2] without national/international oversight is also a concern.

—–> Back to me trying to put the facts together.

The link I noticed was the use of proteins. Amino Acids are the building blocks of our internal make up (gross generalization here) and proteins are made up of amino acids. They use the word bioweapon again.

The mRNA jab induces a spike protein to create some immunity. It can also be used for other nefarious purposes. I don’t trust that those listed in the first sentence have our best interests in mind. I could get into some conspiracy stuff like population control (and may later if the facts line up enough), a Bill Gates favorite, but let’s stick to the science.

—> More science discussion about protein and the jab now using the link above.

Published data has shown that there are several different factors that can contribute to the conversion of certain RNA binding proteins including TDP-43, FUS and related molecules to their pathologic states. These RNA binding proteins have many functions and are found in both the nucleus and the cytoplasm. These binding proteins have amino acid regions, binding motifs that bind specific RNA sequences.

Binding to certain RNA sequences when the proteins are in the cytoplasm is believed to causes the molecules to fold in certain ways leading to pathologic aggregation and prion formation in the cytoplasm [2]. The current analysis indicates Pfizer’s RNA based COVID-19 vaccine contains many of these RNA sequences that have been shown to have high affinity for TDP-43 or FUS and have the potential to induce chronic degenerative neurological diseases.Zinc binding to the RNA recognition motif of TDP-43 is another mechanism leading to formation of amyloid like aggregations [9].

The viral spike protein, coded by the vaccine RNA sequence, binds ACE2 an enzyme containing zinc molecules [8]. This interaction has the potential to increase intracellular zinc levels leading to prion disease. The initial binding could be between spike proteins on the surface of the cell transfected by the vaccine and ACE2 on the surface of an adjacent cell.

The resulting complex may become internalized. Alternatively, the interaction could initially take place in the cytoplasm of a cell that makes ACE2 and has been transfected with the vaccine RNA coding for the spike protein. The interaction is quite concerning given the belief that the virus causing COVID-19, SARS-CoV-2, is a bioweapon [10,11] and it is possible that the viral spike protein may have been designed to cause prion disease.

The ingredient that causes it is pseudouridylyl.

What are prion diseases?

Prion diseases comprise several conditions. A prion is a type of protein that can trigger normal proteins in the brain to fold abnormally. Prion diseases can affect both humans and animals and are sometimes spread to humans by infected meat products. The most common form of prion disease that affects humans is Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD).

Prion diseases are rare. About 300 cases are reported each year in the U.S. (me here, this is normally, but the jab can induce it, read on)

Types of prion diseases include:

  • CJD. A person can inherit this condition, in which case it’s called familial CJD. Sporadic CJD, on the other hand, develops suddenly without any known risk factors. Most cases of CJD are sporadic and tend to strike people around age 60. Acquired CJD is caused by exposure to infected tissue during a medical procedure, such as a cornea transplant. Symptoms of CJD (see below) quickly lead to severe disability and death. In most cases, death occurs within a year.
  • Variant CJD. This is an infectious type of the disease that is related to “mad cow disease.” Eating diseased meat may cause the disease in humans. The meat may cause normal human prion protein to develop abnormally. This type of the disease usually affects younger people.
  • Variably protease-sensitive prionopathy (VPSPr). This is also extremely rare, it is similar to CJD but the protein is less sensitive to digestion. It is more likely to strike people around age 70 who have a family history of dementia.
  • Gerstmann-Sträussler-Scheinker disease (GSS). Extremely rare, but occurs at an earlier age, typically around age 40.
  • Kuru. This disease is seen in New Guinea. It’s caused by eating human brain tissue contaminated with infectious prions. Because of increased awareness about the disease and how it is transmitted, kuru is now rare.
  • Fatal insomnia (FI). Rare hereditary disorder causing difficulty sleeping. There is also a sporadic form of the disease that is not inherited.

What causes prion disease?

Prion diseases occur when normal prion protein, found on the surface of many cells, becomes abnormal and clump in the brain, causing brain damage. This abnormal accumulation of protein in the brain can cause memory impairment, personality changes, and difficulties with movement. Experts still don’t know a lot about prion diseases, but unfortunately, these disorders are generally fatal.

—-> Don’t miss the word protein

Now I ask myself, why are they trying to give us a 3rd jab? Did the first two not work or not work enough? Is there something more behind the scenes? More discussion now about long term effects of vaccines.

—-> more from the link above

Vaccines have been found to cause a host of chronic, late developing adverse events. Some adverse events like type 1 diabetes may not occur until 3-4 years after a vaccine is administered [1]. In the example of type 1 diabetes the frequency of cases of adverse events may surpass the frequency of cases of severe infectious disease the vaccine was designed to prevent.

Given that type 1 diabetes is only one of many immune mediated diseases potentially caused by vaccines, chronic late occurring adverse events are a serious public health issue.

In Summary for now

As always, decide for yourself and do your own research. I think all the pressure to get jabbed stinks and I’m trying to find out why. There is a pattern and an underlying reason they are pushing it instead of using safe, cheap and effective cures, proven to work. TPTB don’t want to use it and are still pushing the jab on us by saying it is safe. I’ve now listed two ingredients that are poisonous to humans and what they can do to you.

I may write more (if I’m allowed, I’ve notice an uptick from China and unusual places that censor stuff they don’t like) and may tie all of my posts together. There is a theme developing that I hope to develop. It’s already there for those of you who think like a detective and connect the dots.

There is enough that doesn’t make sense to continue sticking this poison into us while ignoring the obvious cure.

Think about it.

This Is Going To Put a Dent in The Nathan’s July 4th Hot Dog Eating Contest

Bet On Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest 2020 | Betting Odds ...

More specifically, researchers found that consuming one 85-gram serving of chicken wings translated to 3.3 minutes of life lost, owing to sodium and harmful trans fatty acids, while a beef hot dog on a bun resulted in some 36 minutes lost “largely due to the detrimental effect of processed meat,” study authors wrote.

Joey Chestnut is about dead. He knocked back 75 dogs this year to win the contest. He looks pretty healthy to me. Badlands Booker on the other hand better prepare his will.

The good news is that a PB&J sandwich adds 33 minutes to your life. I’m going to be about 3000 years old given that I’ve lived on it for 5 or more decades.

I Love Student’s Creative Answers In Biology Class and Boobs

I posted Hell explained by an engineering student that was so creative the teacher gave him a top score. I still laugh at that one (right Teresa?)?

Now, there is this one on Mother’s milk. It’s almost as creative and funny as the engineer.

The teacher has a sense of humor. I have no idea what number 7 really is, but the answer is good enough for me. I thought he was going to mention play toys at first.

The Scientific Method, Why Science is Never Settled

Only Einstein’s Theory of General Relativity remains unchallenged. It’s the way it should be. If it weren’t, we’d have the science from 100’s of years ago.

Everything going on today should be challenged in thought as to whether it stacks up to actual science or political science.

I’m kind of looking at Fauci, the CDC, WHO and politicians here.

If they don’t agree, just follow the scientific method above and show why it is provable. The tactic now is censorship instead.

Covid/China/Wuhan Mask Update, Rhetorical Questions That Should Be Asked

Yes once again I posted it as China and Wuhan Virus. I am testing the limits of censorship to see what they will do, at the risk of some meaningless banishment. I’m so afraid.

People who don’t wear masks are called mask-holes. I wonder sometimes if it’s not the other way around.

Scientific Jokes or Jokes by Those In Science

Scientists tell us their favourite jokes: ‘An electron and a positron walked into a bar…’

Science is a very serious business, so what tickles a rational mind? In a not very scientific experiment, we asked a sample of great minds for their favourite jokes

Bookies

Statisticians: not totally reliable.

Physics

■ Two theoretical physicists are lost at the top of a mountain. Theoretical physicist No 1 pulls out a map and peruses it for a while. Then he turns to theoretical physicist No 2 and says: “Hey, I’ve figured it out. I know where we are.”
“Where are we then?”
“Do you see that mountain over there?”
“Yes.”
“Well… THAT’S where we are.”

I heard this joke at a physics conference in Les Arcs (I was at the top of a mountain skiing at the time, so it was quite apt). It was explained to me that it was first told by a Nobel prize-winning experimental physicist by way of indicating how out-of-touch with the real world theoretical physicists can sometimes be.
Jeff Forshaw, professor of physics and astronomy, University of Manchester

■ An electron and a positron go into a bar.
Positron: “You’re round.”
Electron: “Are you sure?”
Positron: “I’m positive.”
I think I heard this on Radio 4 after the publication of a record (small) measurement of the electron electric dipole moment – often explained as the roundness of the electron – by Jony Hudson et al in Nature 2011.
Joanna Haigh, professor of atmospheric physics, Imperial College, London

■ A group of wealthy investors wanted to be able to predict the outcome of a horse race. So they hired a group of biologists, a group of statisticians, and a group of physicists. Each group was given a year to research the issue. After one year, the groups all reported to the investors. The biologists said that they could genetically engineer an unbeatable racehorse, but it would take 200 years and $100bn. The statisticians reported next. They said that they could predict the outcome of any race, at a cost of $100m per race, and they would only be right 10% of the time. Finally, the physicists reported that they could also predict the outcome of any race, and that their process was cheap and simple. The investors listened eagerly to this proposal. The head physicist reported, “We have made several simplifying assumptions: first, let each horse be a perfect rolling sphere… ”

This is really the joke form of “all models are wrong, some models are useful” and also sums up the sort of physics confidence that they can solve problems (ie, by making the model solvable).
Ewan Birney, associate director, European Bioinformatics Institute

■ What is a physicist’s favourite food? Fission chips.
Callum Roberts, professor in marine conservation, University of York

■ Why did Erwin Schrödinger, Paul Dirac and Wolfgang Pauli work in very small garages? Because they were quantum mechanics.
Lloyd Peck, professor, British Antarctic Survey

■ A friend who’s in liquor production,
Has a still of astounding construction,
The alcohol boils,
Through old magnet coils,
He says that it’s proof by induction.

I knew this limerick when I was at school. I’ve always loved comic poetry and I like the pun in it. And it is pretty geeky …
Helen Czerski, Institute of Sound and Vibration Research, Southampton

Biology

Blowfly

A blowfly: not to be laughed at (read below). Photograph: Alamy

■ What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexia Association.

I first read this joke when I was an undergraduate as a mature student in 1990. I’d just come to terms with my own severe reading difficulties and neurophysiology was full of acronyms, which I always got mixed up. For example, the first time I heard about Adenosine Triphosphate it was abbreviated by the lecturer to ATP, which I heard as 80p. I had no clue what she was talking about every time she mentioned 80p. And another thing, how does Adenosine Triphosphate reduce to ATP? Where’s the P?
Peter Lovatt, lecturer in psychology of dance, University of Hertfordshire

■ A new monk shows up at a monastery where the monks spend their time making copies of ancient books. The new monk goes to the basement of the monastery saying he wants to make copies of the originals rather than of others’ copies so as to avoid duplicating errors they might have made. Several hours later the monks, wondering where their new friend is, find him crying in the basement. They ask him what is wrong and he says “the word is CELEBRATE, not CELIBATE!”

I first heard this maybe more than 10 years ago in conjunction with the general theme of “copying errors” or mutations in biology.
Mark Pagel, professor of biological sciences, University of Reading

■ A blowfly goes into a bar and asks: “Is that stool taken?”  BLOWFLY JOKE HERE

No idea where I got this from!
Amoret Whitaker, entomologist, Natural History Museum

■ They have just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes.
Stuart Peirson, senior research scientist, Nuffield Laboratory of Ophthalmology

Math

Mathematics teaching, blackboard Mathematics: can it add up to a killer punchline?■ What does the ‘B’ in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B Mandelbrot.

Mathematician Mandelbrot coined the word fractal – a form of geometric repetition.
Adam Rutherford, science writer and broadcaster

■ Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the other… eh? Hang on…

The most recent time I saw this joke was in Simon Singh’s lovely book on maths in The Simpsons. I’ve heard it before though. I guess its origins are lost in the mists of time.
David Colquhoun, professor of pharmacology, University College London

■ A statistician is someone who tells you, when you’ve got your head in the fridge and your feet in the oven, that you’re – on average – very comfortable.

This is a joke I was told a long time ago, probably as a high school student in India, trying to come to terms with the baffling ways of statistics. What I like about it is how it alerts you to the limitations of reductionist thinking but also makes you aware that we are unlikely to fall into such traps, even if we are not experts in the field.
Sunetra Gupta, professor of theoretical epidemiology, Oxford

■ At a party for functions, ex is at the bar looking despondent. The barman says: “Why don’t you go and integrate?” To which ex replies: “It would not make any difference.”

Heard by my daughter in a student bar in Oxford.
Jean-Paul Vincent, head of developmental biology, National Institute for Medical Research

■ There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

I think this is just part of the cultural soup, so to speak. I don’t remember hearing it myself until the mid-90s, when computers started getting in the way of everyone’s lives!
Max Little, mathematician, Aston University

■ The floods had subsided, and Noah had safely landed his ark on Mount Sinai. “Go forth and multiply!” he told the animals, and so off they went two by two, and within a few weeks Noah heard the chatter of tiny monkeys, the snarl of tiny tigers and the stomp of baby elephants. Then he heard something he didn’t recognise… a loud, revving buzz coming from the woods. He went in to find out what strange animal’s offspring was making this noise, and discovered a pair of snakes wielding a chainsaw. “What on earth are you doing?” he cried. “You’re destroying the trees!” “Well Noah,” the snakes replied, “we tried to multiply as you bade us, but we’re adders… so we have to use logs.”
Alan Turnbull, National Physical Laboratory

■ A statistician gave birth to twins, but only had one of them baptised. She kept the other as a control.
David Spiegelhalter, professor of statistics, University of Cambridge

Chemistry

Student in a chemistry laboratory at Imperial College London

Chemistry seems to have produced some laughs at Imperial College London. Photograph: Linda Nylind for the Guardian

■ A chemistry teacher is recruited as a radio operator in the first world war. He soon becomes familiar with the military habit of abbreviating everything. As his unit comes under sustained attack, he is asked to urgently inform his HQ. “NaCl over NaOH! NaCl over NaOH!” he says. “NaCl over NaOH?” shouts his officer. “What do you mean?” “The base is under a salt!” came the reply.

I think I heard this when I was a student in the early 1980s.
Hugh Montgomery, professor of intensive care medicine, University College London

■ Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium Batman!

This is my current favorite. It comes from my daughter, who is a 17-year-old A-level science student.
Tony Ryan, professor of physical chemistry, University of Sheffield

■ A weed scientist goes into a shop. He asks: “Hey, you got any of that inhibitor of 3-phosphoshikimate-carboxyvinyl transferase? Shopkeeper: “You mean Roundup?” Scientist: “Yeah, that’s it. I can never remember that dang name.”

Made up by and first told by me.
John A Pickett, scientific leader of chemical ecology, Rothamsted Research

■ A mosquito was heard to complain
That chemists had poisoned her brain.
The cause of her sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
diphenyl-trichloroethane.

I first read this limerick in a science magazine when I was at school. I taught it to my baby sister, then to my children, and to my students. It’s the only poem in their degree course.

Martyn Poliakoff, research professor of chemistry, University of Nottingham

Psychology

psychology

Deluded? It depends on your point of view.

■ A psychoanalyst shows a patient an inkblot, and asks him what he sees. The patient says: “A man and woman making love.” The psychoanalyst shows him a second inkblot, and the patient says: “That’s also a man and woman making love.” The psychoanalyst says: “You are obsessed with sex.” The patient says: “What do you mean I am obsessed? You are the one with all the dirty pictures.”

I have no idea where I first heard this joke. I suspect when I was an undergraduate and was first taught about Freudian psychology.
Richard Wiseman, professor of public understanding of psychology, University of Hertfordshire

■ Psychiatrist to patient: “Don’t worry. You’re not deluded. You only think you are.”

I heard this joke from my husband, my source of all good jokes. It is a variation of the type of joke I particularly like: a paradoxical twist of meaning. Here the surprising paradox is that you can at once be deluded and not deluded. This links to an aspect of my work that goes under the label “mentalizing” and involves attributing thoughts to oneself and others. It’s a mechanism that works beautifully, but the joke reveals how it can go wrong.
Uta Frith, professor in cognitive neuroscience, University College London

■ After sex, one behaviorist turned to another behaviorist and said, “That was great for you, but how was it for me?”

It’s an oldie. I came across it in the late 1980s in a book by cognitive science legend Philip Johnson-Laird. Behaviorism was a movement in psychology that put the scientific observation of behaviour above theorizing about unobservables like thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Johnson-Laird was one of my teachers at Cambridge, and he was using the joke to comment on the “cognitive revolution” that had overthrown behaviorism and shown that we can indeed have a rigorous science of cognitive states. Charles Fernyhough, professor of psychology at the University of Durham

Multidisciplinary

■ An interviewer approaches a variety of scientists, and asks them: “Is it true that all odd numbers are prime?” The mathematician rejects the conjecture. “One is prime, three is prime, five is prime, seven is prime, but nine is not. The conjecture is false.” The physicist is less certain. “One is prime, three is prime, five is prime, seven is prime, but nine is not. Then again 11 is and so is 13. Up to the limits of measurement error, the conjecture appears to be true.” The psychologist says: “One is prime, three is prime, five is prime, seven is prime, nine is not. Eleven is and so is 13. The result is statistically significant.” The artist says: “One is prime, three is prime, five is prime, seven is prime, nine is prime. It’s true, all odd numbers are prime!”
Gary Marcus, professor of psychology, New York University

■ What do scientists say when they go to the bar? Climate change scientists say: “Where’s the ice?” Seismologists might ask for their drinks to be “shaken and not stirred”. Microbiologists request just a small one. Neuroscientists ask for their drinks “to be spiked”. Scientists studying the defective gubernaculum say: “Put mine in a highball”, and finally, social scientists say: “I’d like something soft.” When paying at the bar, geneticists say: “I think I have some change in my jeans.” And at the end of the evening a shy benzene biochemist might say to his companion: “Please give me a ring.”

Professor Ron Douglas of City University and I made these feeble jokes up after pondering the question: “What do scientists say at a cocktail party”. Of course this idea can be developed – and may even stimulate your readers to come up with additional contributions.
Russell Foster, professor of circadian neuroscience, University of Oxford

Duh, Science Confirms the Obvious

Another post that got lost which I liked.

From Popsci.com.

I get the part about cigarettes cost you money, combining drugs and alcohol are bad for you…but get number 3 meeting heads!

3. Too Many Meetings Make You Grumpy

The Study: “The relationship between meeting load and . . . well-being of employees,” Group Dynamics, March 2005

The Findings: Ever get the feeling that you’d get more work done if you weren’t constantly attending meetings to discuss all the work to be done? Two social scientists from the universities of Minnesota and North Carolina hypothesized that meetings are analogous to “hassles,” defined in stress-research literature as “annoying episodes in which daily tasks become more difficult or demanding than anticipated.” The psychologists analyzed diary entries from 37 meeting-prone midlevel university workers over one week. They found that days chock-full of meetings left employees feeling stressed, exhausted and burned out.

Why Bother? Employers take heed: Since beleaguered workers may perform poorly, be tardy, or quit, the authors suggest that “organizations be sensitive to the number of meetings employees are required to attend.” Managers could create “formal guidelines” for meeting necessity (presumably not drafted at a meeting).

Here’s another Mr. Obvious, dudes prefer good looking women?  Who’d have guessed it?