I originally posted the story below in 2006 on the death of my Father.
I’ve been blogging since 2005. I’ve covered IBM, Analyst Relations, Covid-19, humor, pets, sarcasm, and introverts.
Unfortunately, my medical condition has worsened, and I can’t keep up with both dying and blogging.
A few people have extended their best wishes. Some posted what they liked about it, which I found interesting. Some found themselves (those who didn’t know they were introverts).
If you could, leave a comment as to what you liked, or if by chance I helped educate you on something.
I’ve enjoyed it, but all things come to an end, and so this is it for Delusions of Adequacy. Thank you all for reading.
I’m leaving the blog open because there is a lot of educational subjects, probably 10,000 memes and some stuff that made it to the top of Google for a while.
I’ve had fun, but since I’m not having much fun with my chemo, something had to give. Actually, a lot of things had to give.
Original post
My Father passed away today and I won’t be posting for a while. I’ll leave you with this story.
The Wooden Bowl
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about Grandfather,” said the son. I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.
When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?” Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening, the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
On a positive note, I’ve learned that, no matter what happens or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I’ve learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents; you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.
I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.”
I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.
I’ve learned that every day; you should reach out and touch someone.
People love that human touch – holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.
The World Cup is More like the WWE than a sport. I’ve haven’t watched that much, but I saw a guy go down in agony with a real injury, 30 second later he was setting a record for sprinting to get the ball. It’s getting bush league
In good news Fisherman rescues 220-pound sea turtle tangled in thick ropes. (More here)
Death by Socialized Medicine – Let the Europeans brag about their substandard healthcare they get for free. They pay for it in taxes and in the long waits for bad service.
Introverted kids have an inner world that is alive and present for them. They engage with the deeper aspects of life.
As an introverted child, I split my time between a small town in Minnesota and my imagination. I was content spending entire afternoons alone, writing books on construction paper and daydreaming.
As a teenager, I had a group of friends I loved, but spending time with them drained me. They didn’t seem to need the same amount of alone time that was critical for me to function. I convinced myself that they were the normal ones and I should try to be more like them.
As time passed, I changed a lot from the shy kid I once was. I’ve written two books: The Secret Lives of Introverts and Sensitive, which was named an Amazon Best Book of the Year.
But one thing about me that hasn’t changed is being an introvert. I still enjoy writing, daydreaming, and spending time by myself. As I explain in my book, this is because whether someone is an introvert or an extrovert is something we’re born with, and it’s mostly decided by our genes. In fact, according to Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, children may start to show signs of introversion as early as four months old.
So, what are introverts like as kids? While each child is unique, many introverted children share these seven traits.
7 Common Characteristics of Introverted Children
1. Introverted kids have a deep and lively inner life.
Their private inner world of thoughts and emotions is very much alive for them. They depend on this inner world and their own ideas to help them make decisions, instead of always looking to others for approval or help. “In their private garden away from the material world they concentrate and puzzle out complex and intricate thoughts and feelings,” writes Dr. Laney.
Because of this inner world, introverted children like playing make-believe and being alone. You’ll often see them alone in their rooms or secluded places, doing things like reading, drawing, or playing on the computer.
However, this deep inner world can sometimes make them feel cut off from other kids. They might be called “weird” for having imaginary friends or for wanting to spend time alone, like sitting by themselves during recess. That’s why it’s important for parents to help introverted kids see that their introversion is actually a strength.
2. They are curious and engage with the deeper aspects of life.
Introverted kids might be quiet, but they are very curious about the world. They often ask big questions about how things work, why things are the way they are, or what something really means. They can surprise adults with their creativity and problem-solving skills, showing wisdom that seems beyond their age. Even when they are young, many introverted kids have the ability to step outside themselves and reflect on their own behavior, which is something not all children can do.
3. They observe first and act later.
Introverted kids often stay on the sidelines in groups or crowds, just like introverted adults do at big parties. They might seem shy about joining in, but it’s not always because they’re scared. Introverts, even grown-ups, like to think things through before they act, especially in social situations. You might see introverted kids open up and be chatty, funny, and playful at home where they feel safe and comfortable.
4. They make decisions based on their own values, not just on what’s popular.
Introverted kids often think and feel deeply, which means they usually make choices based on their own ideas and values, not just because something is popular. They may do things their own way, picking music, clothes, TV shows, and hobbies they truly like, not just what everyone else thinks is cool. This might sometimes make them different from other kids, but it’s also good because it means they’re less likely to blindly follow others. They don’t do things just to fit in with everyone else.
5. It takes time for their real personality to come out.
Just like introverted adults, introverted kids don’t show their real personality immediately. At first, they might be quiet and keep to themselves when meeting someone new. But as they get more comfortable with that person, they start to open up more. They like to have meaningful conversations to understand themselves or others better. They’re interested in getting to know people deeply. They often try to figure out why people do what they do.
The 4th of July for most on Earth is another day in the week, month year. Independence Day is when the greatest country was started.
For the readers of this blog, my medical diagnosis says that this will be my last one to celebrate.
I don’t want to get into it with internet pukes because what really matters is that it’s my Mom’s Birthday and the Day She died, July 4th. I’m also patriotic so I got lucky to grow up and live in the USA.
My mom was a patriot for God, but loved the USA. We were middle class and no more growing up. She lived through the depression so a dollar stretched to about $4.50 for our family. She had a masters degree in Education and Music, but chose to be a homemaker and a mother. That’s how I’ll remember her on this day.
Back to the original premise, we might have never made it to the moon, or invented air conditioning, cars, planes, trains and numerous medical advancements that have helped the world for the last 250 years.
I know haters shoot at #1, so it’s the Democrats who hate the good in our country. Hating America: The Hollywood Left’s Worst Anti-American Outbursts. You can see from the World Cup that the rest of the world woke up to the fact that the media lies about the good that the USA does for people primarily because of Trump (current excuse). The media are liars vying for power by means of thought and word, but they have been against anything that is right for the country and serve their leader, the devil.
Trump will go down as either good or bad, loved or hated or how ever he goes down in history, but he’s just a piece of the last 250 years of making the world better.
I stopped going to see my wife’s relatives in Europe because they just spout the media talking points about how bad we are. I was tired of their ignorance and prejudice as the Euro press possibly hates the US more than the Democrats. I don’t have to listen to it this way. I can read the European press and find out what her family would say to me. I have very little time left on Earth, I’m not going to waste it on people who are ignorant.
Europe is a museum now of what used to be great. The USA has been the leader in most things for decades. I bet the rest of the world gets tired of hearing the Star Spangled Banner every day at the Olympics or other global sporting events (I think soccer is a 2nd tier sport despite what the rest of the world tries to tell us).
So Happy Birthday Mom, and the rest of the world should be happy that we made it as a country, especially Europe around 1917 and 1940-45. It would be one big Germany otherwise. (She’s been gone 20 years now).
No country has invented more or helped more people medically, socially and historically. I’ll give you that the art from hundreds of years ago is better and looks good in the European museums, but they are static. People are working to invent new ways of doing things and curing illness (except Covid, that was a lie we told).
No other country has a hot dog eating contest on the 4th either.
Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people. — Proverbs 14:34
When the PC was invented, I saw the future in front of me. Opportunity knocked and I answered. I did every job you could do on them.
The head of our DP department said we would have no need for any PC’s. It was as clear to me then as the PC you have for your everyday use (or more than 1) that this was going to be the future. I got in very early to the phenomenon and a decision that early in a career was very fortunate.
I retired early because of that decision and where it took me.
Over the years, countless critics have pointed out the errors both in Gore’s film and in his ensuing personal crusade as, like Don Quixote, he continues tilting at windmills (while ironically advocating for their proliferation).
(Note: This originally posted sometime around 2013, but so many people keep clicking on it, I thought I’d just post it for everyone who missed it)
This story Melt My heart so I wanted to share it. enjoy.
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker ‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.”
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.
He said,”People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?” The Six-year-old continued,
”Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you’re not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
I could type pages on this one, but I’ll spare the readers. Most write better than I do anyway so I’m interested in their thoughts.
As for me, as soon as we meet, I throw up a wall until I can trust whomever you say you are. I also look for clues as to who they really are, not who they say they are.
For girls, I look for red flags like hair dyed in an unnatural color, excessive piercings (or one in the nose), too many tattoos (more than one hidden one. Most of all, check her friends and family. Crazy girlfriends means your petite petunia is likely been run through by a lot of dudes. Body count matters a lot too. No matter what, even if you are a way better guy, you are compared to the past.
For Guys, there is a line between confidence and cockiness. It can be smudged at first, but it shows itself. I don’t mind an Alpha male, as long as he’s decent to others. There is always a bigger fish.
Being an introvert, anyone who talks too much small talk instead of substantive conversation is kept on the sidelines. I just can’t listen to drivel for the sake of talking. Introverts will understand this.
The first line to break a relationship for me isn’t lying, everyone does that. It’s loyalty. That is like virginity, you can only lose it once. Once it is gone, our relationship is stalled probably where it started. So far, no one has gotten a second chance. I’ll never really trust you again, despite my best efforts.
The biggest thing I learned was to not talk back immediately, say no early and often to most things, and don’t commit to doing things you know you don’t want to do. That has saved me more time from the suck portion of life than almost anything.
Like I said, I can go on, and on, but that would just be a continuation of the life of an introvert.
The World Cup and Climate Change together on a solution they’ll never find. Don Quixote-ville. Two subect that can go fake and are boring to watch and listen to
World Cup Fever Not Expected to Be Growth Driver. It’s not going to be the big event it would be in other countries, soccer, or your footbal is 4th or 5th at best in US. South America will have to hold up the Americans who care
There are times that I need to brake on some topics The chemo has me feeling almost sea sick. I still have some humor, life experience and every day stuff.
So unless I fall into the well of yo momma memes, this is the last post on this subject.. Steal them as I need to clear cloud storage space. They are high on my list to remove for the space in my cloud storage
I lose more readers on this category than any other I post about. Try to get that it’s a joke and doesn’t represent who I am, other than I thought some were perfect.
I spent most of my life prior to the Internet. I worked in the tech industry so I was able to get on it earlier than most, but that didn’t change my regular life.
I never had to worry about social media either. You could just not Answer the phone, or call someone back. When you broke up, it was over.
I could get to anywhere I wanted with a piece of paper with instructions on it, and a (dime)/quarter to call a home phone since we didn’t have cell phones. All my friends could get there too, and we all got there on time, and at the same time. 
That means I also write in cursive, and can drive stick. The first car I had was so old I had to learn how to double clutch to downshift.
We learned to read the weather by observing the wind, the sun, the title patterns, and observe nature.
I had to look up stuff in an encyclopedia, or find a book using the card catalogue system to write term papers.
So if they drop EMP, I’ll be just fine. As for Gen X, why, Z, millennials, and the rest of the people after boomers, they’re effed.
The post-conversation spiral happens when you leave a social interaction and can’t stop overthinking whether you totally screwed it up.
My brain was doing it again.
I’d had a lovely time getting to know a potential new friend. We had a lot in common. We were both single moms, both about the same age, and both working in mental health careers. She got my references. She seemed to understand my life. And the dinner meetup was, well, fun.
So why was my brain picking apart every little thing I had said and done?
You idiot. I can’t believe you said that.
Why did I share that story? Did I trauma dump?
She said she wanted to hang out again… but she was probably just being polite.
Even though I make my living writing about introversion, social anxiety, and socializing, I had fallen headlong into a common pitfall: the dreaded post-conversation spiral.
What Is the Post-Conversation Spiral?
You might think the social anxiety problem ends when the conversation ends. But for a lot of people, that’s when the second half begins: the mental replay, the shame, the “evidence gathering,” and the imagined judgment.
Psychologists call this post-event rumination or post-event processing. It’s when you replay a social situation in your mind, focusing on what you think you did wrong. Instead of remembering the interaction as a whole, your mind zooms in on a sentence you wish you had phrased differently, a pause that felt too long, or a facial expression you couldn’t quite interpret.
Research has found that the more socially anxious someone is, the more likely they are to ruminate after a social event. In other words, the post-conversation spiral is not just a bad habit or a personal weakness. It’s a real part of the social anxiety cycle.
And unfortunately, it makes anxiety worse.
Why Your Brain Does This
Social anxiety makes you focus on yourself. Instead of simply being present and enjoying another person’s company, part of your attention turns inward.
Then, when you replay the conversation through the lens of fear, you’re not reviewing it neutrally. You’re acting like a detective searching for clues that confirm your anxiety while overlooking the evidence that everything went fine. A small awkward moment starts to feel like proof that the whole interaction went terribly.
This is one reason the spiral feels so convincing. It seems like you’re gathering facts, but really, you’re gathering anxious interpretations.
And even if you would never be diagnosed with an official social anxiety disorder, you may still know the feeling of coming home from an otherwise pleasant interaction and suddenly wondering whether you totally screwed it all up.
Why ‘Just Stop Thinking About It’ Doesn’t Work
If you’ve ever tried to force yourself to stop replaying a conversation, you already know that doesn’t work. Sometimes the harder you try not to think about something, the louder it becomes. You tell yourself, “Stop thinking about that weird thing you said,” and now the weird thing you said is the only thing available for your brain to think about.
A better approach is not to fight the anxious thoughts, but to change how you respond to them.
The goal is not to convince yourself that every conversation went perfectly. That would be unrealistic, and your brain probably wouldn’t believe it anyway. The goal is to become a little more balanced and a little less self-punishing.
How to Stop the Post-Conversation Spiral
Here are six science-backed things that can help:
1. Name what’s happening.
The first step is to recognize the spiral for what it is. You might say to yourself, “This is post-event rumination,” or, “My brain is replaying the conversation because I feel socially anxious right now.”
That creates some distance. Instead of treating every thought as a proven fact, you take a step back and begin to see it as part of an anxiety pattern.
There’s a difference between “She thought I was weird” and “I’m having the thought that she thought I was weird.” The second version does not make the worry completely disappear, but it does give you more room to question it.
2. Pinpoint the specific moment you’re stuck on.
Ask yourself: What moment keeps coming back to me? Once you identify the specific worry, it becomes easier to examine.
“The whole night was terrible” is hard to work with. “I’m worried I talked too much about my divorce” is something you can actually think through.
3. Ask what evidence you actually have.
This is where cognitive restructuring can help. Cognitive restructuring is a technique often used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that helps you examine whether your thoughts are accurate, exaggerated, or incomplete.
Ask yourself:
What evidence do I have that my worry is true?
What evidence do I have that it might not be true?
Is there another possible explanation?
What would I think if a friend told me they had done the same thing?
For example, maybe your new friend got quiet after you told a personal story about your divorce. Your anxious brain decides, “She was uncomfortable and now she regrets meeting me.”
But there are other possibilities. Maybe she was thinking about what you said. Maybe she related to it. Maybe she was tired. Maybe she didn’t know how to respond in the moment. Maybe the pause felt much longer to you than it did to her.
The point is not to force a positive interpretation. The point is to stop treating the most painful interpretation as the only one.
4. Check your expectations.
If you’re socially anxious, you probably hold yourself to a standard you would never apply to anyone else. You expect yourself to be warm, interesting, funny, appropriate, relaxed, responsive, emotionally available, and perfectly articulate all at once. No awkward pauses, no clumsy wording, and no signs of nervousness.
People say odd things. They interrupt without meaning to. They tell stories that don’t land exactly the way they hoped.
A more realistic standard might sound like:
Did I show up?
Was I kind?
Did I listen?
Did I make an effort to connect?
Did the other person seem comfortable overall?
If the answer is mostly yes, the conversation does not need to be put on trial.
5. Make a plan only if a plan is needed.
Sometimes rumination is trying to point you toward something useful. Maybe you want to send a simple text saying, “I had a nice time tonight.” Maybe you genuinely said something that came out wrong and you want to clarify it. In those cases, take one concrete action.
But notice the difference between action and rumination. Action sounds like, “I’ll text her and say I enjoyed dinner.” Rumination sounds like, “What if she thought I was desperate when I said we should hang out again, and maybe I should wait three days, but what if waiting three days seems cold, and what if she only said yes because she felt sorry for me?”
When there is something to do, do it. When there is nothing to do, the task is learning to sit with the uncertainty without feeding it.
6. Use mindfulness as a way to return to your life.
Mindfulness does not mean you have to become perfectly calm. It can be as simple as noticing the replay and gently returning to what is happening right now.
Imagine the rumination as background noise. It can be there without getting all of your attention. You can be washing dishes and notice, “There’s that thought again.” You can be reading in bed and notice, “My brain is replaying dinner again.”
Then bring your attention back to the dish, the book, the room you’re in, or the next small thing you need to do.
Let the Conversation Be Good Enough
I’m trying to remind myself that maybe I did say something imperfectly at dinner. Maybe there was a moment or two that felt awkward. Maybe I could have asked a better question or not overexplained so much.
But maybe that’s also just what happens when two humans are getting to know each other.
The post-conversation spiral wants us to believe we have to perform perfectly in order for someone to like us. We must never be awkward, never overshare, never be too quiet, and never say the wrong thing.
But real relationships don’t work that way. People usually don’t decide whether they like you based on one sentence or one clumsy moment.
So the next time your brain starts obsessively replaying a conversation, you don’t have to fight it. You also don’t have to believe everything it says. Pause and ask, “Am I reflecting, or am I ruminating?”
Reparations: Who Pays Whom? – Those who made it to the US have it so much better, they should be thankful. Plus, a surprisingly low number of Americans were slave owners.
Why Are White Liberal Women Obsessed With an Ideology That Oppresses Women? – The last 2 words in that description tells you everything. That they could be liberal and are women, meaning they think with their feelings and emotions rather than deal with the facts and the hard choices. If they thought through the situation, they’d still be women, but for sure wouldn’t be liberals, cutting off their noses to spite their faces.
Marriage
No Wonder Men Are Opting Out – men have simple needs, food, sex, respect and most of all peace. If you read the list of what girls are putting men through, What rational man reads this list and thinks: yes, that’s exactly what’s been missing from my life? Do they stay up at night and think of how to make things worse for men?
Were I in college, it would be a couple of pairs of extra underwear, a few cases of beer and a few blunts.
Now that my life is half a century later, I’m willing to go to my mountain house. I have my stuff there, I know the place and I don’t have to fly or stay in a germ ridden hotel room that was barely cleaned. I’m getting sicker, so big travel plans are now not in my life
I stayed in an airbnb last year that was a dump. It was completely different from the pictures and description.
So for me, I go to one of my houses and that’s it.
Don’t get me started on Darwin vs Creationism. These guys don’t even know who is alive or extinct. It’s why I have problems with The Origin of the Species being believable
Two marsupial species scientists believed had vanished more than 6,000 years ago have been discovered alive in the remote rainforests of Western New Guinea.
The discovery was detailed in studies published in Records of the Australian Museum, according to a March 6 press release from the museum obtained by PEOPLE. Researchers identified living pygmy long-fingered possums (Dactylonax kambuayai) and the ring-tailed glider (Tous ayamaruensis) in the rainforests on the Vogelkop Peninsula of New Guinea. The animals are now considered Lazarus species, or part of the Lazarus taxon, a group of animals that have been found living after they were thought extinct and previously known only from fossils.
“The discovery of one Lazarus taxon, even if thought to have become extinct recently, is an exceptional discovery,” said lead researcher Professor Tim Flannery, an Australian Museum Distinguished Visiting Fellow. “The discovery of two species, thought to have been extinct for thousands of years, is remarkable.”
The newly released novel, Yesteryear, by Caro Claire Burke, features a tradwife who gets transported back to the 19th century to live a truly trad life. Deeply humbled by her experience, the tradwife desires to return to the present day, replete with the luxuries afforded to her by the feminists she disdains. Already a New York Times bestseller, the novel is set to be adapted for film by Anne Hathaway.
It takes little imagination to anticipate how the film adaptation will go: Much like the dystopian vision of The Handmaid’s Tale, it will amount to a scolding for those lacking gratitude for feminism. The implicit message is exactly what feminists have always insisted: conservative women who embrace domesticity are either frauds, victims, or too dim to know the difference.
I’ve been writing about feminism for more than a decade. The main opposition is almost always the same: tedious clichés and skimpy narratives. I’m told that I want women to be subjected to vile men with no way to escape or that I don’t think women should work or vote. And then, there is some effort to remind me how I have personally benefited from feminism — usually because of my doctorate, or public voice. These tired arguments, gracing comment boxes, social media, and a wide array of publications, are repetitive, unthinking, self-righteous.
Few realize that these exhausted sound bites were established decades ago to protect feminism from criticism. Media, academia, and vocal influencers pushed these talking points deeply into the culture. They’ve become so entrenched that they’ve scarcely needed adjusting from outside pressure and remain so dominant that Hollywood can bank on them. This novel and soon-to-be-movie will follow the same playbook.
What is not generally grasped is that, despite its self-assured bravado, feminism is actually a fragile ideology. Because it is not based on a solid foundation of truth, it can only survive through power, so it relies on perception, PR, and political force. In the face of decades of its corrosive effects, it can’t draw from scientific studies or even principled arguments to defend itself. All it has is a broad defensive perimeter of clichés and a tidy narrative of protection. Western women and men have been unwittingly supplying it for decades, allowing feminism to expand unchecked.
The effect has been that most people genuinely believe they are protecting something good, buying into the largely fictional narrative that feminism “is just about helping women.” Few realize its connection to the havoc now on display in the culture.
What Is Feminism?
In its simplest form, feminism is the belief in two things: Men are contemptible, and women should be just like them.
This definition isn’t a one-off found in some obscure, unknown feminist. Rather, it can be seen in the work of every major feminist leader for the last 200 years: Mary Wollstonecraft, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Simone de Beauvoir, Betty Friedan, Kate Millett, and Gloria Steinem. What is their biggest enemy? The patriarchy. And what do they want? To have the power they believe the patriarchy has.
These two ideas — men are contemptible, and women should be just like them — have been cemented together to form the bedrock of western women’s views on sex and marriage, resulting in highly destructive consequences: an ever-widening gap between men and women and steep decline in marriages, women’s battle with their fertility and bodies, increased abortions, the birth dearth, the push for same-sex marriage, surrogacy, gender fluidity and the trans movement, and the rise of anxiety and depression.
(Note: this is an update. Will B. Done pointed out that the links didn’t work, so I fixed them so you can click and enjoy)
I’ve written this blog since August of 2005. It was originally meant for my job in analyst relations, but took a turn when I retired in 2011. It’s morphed into any number of things from humor, sarcasm, anti-Covid Jab and my ramblings on life.
I start Chemotherapy next week, so it’s going to slow down considerably, although I’ll post from time to time. I’ve scheduled some posts so it will look like I’m continuing as I suffer through the poison they will be putting in me. You’ll read something every day this week, but I’m not collecting headlines. I hope to be back, I just know I won’t have any energy
I want to say that I’ve enjoyed the 10’s of thousands of comments, and different groups of readers.
I mostly wrote it as it is my favorite form of communication. If you read anything about me, you know I’m introverted so small talk isn’t my greatest strength.
I pulled the list of top posts. It’s funny to me that my most successful post is Euphemisms for Stupid, which was number one on Google for over 10 years in that category.
As I look at the list, I see various stages of my life and different careers. I see family, pets and co-workers. I’m especially proud of My Dad. It’s the post, On Behalf of the President of the United States.
I wish you all the best and a longer life than me.
It’s not over, but for sure will not be as consistent.
If anyone wants to guest post, send it to me simonize@protonmail.com and I’ll try to put it up and give you credit.
It wouldn’t be my first choice to promote cancer awareness, but it’s quite a feat nevertheless.
ALERT: Man gets lit on fire as he pulls a police car with his pen-s in an attempt to raise awareness for prostate cancer.
John Stephenson, 50, is a strong man who, using a rope attached to his genitals, became the first person to pull a car, a 2-ton French police vehicle, with… pic.twitter.com/XgWEHFNopg
Are there more important stories we could be covering? Sure, I guess. Iran is still a thing. Trump is going to China. Democrats are being all a noun and a verb and a “raaaaaacism” over redistricting. Plus, generally speaking, when we here at the Louder with Crowder Dot Com website write about testicles, it involves a dude whipping them out in the girls’ bathroom and Democrats supporting them doing so. It’s nice to have someone put their balls to good use for a change.
John Stephenson, a 50-year-old kickboxer, shattered a glass ceiling, becoming the first bloke to pull a two-ton car with nothing but his dong WHILE set on fire. Technically, he didn’t use his entire one-eyed trouser snake, piece of pork, wife’s best friend, his Percy or his cock (he’s British, so I’m biting off of the Monty Python song). He just used his nuts. He also set himself on fire too. Why? Good question.
I’ve pulled a car with my testicles before and I’ve pulled a car on fire – so I thought why not combine the both, but this time do it with my penis.
Rest assured, everything is still intact! Stephen says that while “it did hurt quite a bit,” but he likes to set challenges and this was something no one has done before. He did the research.
Look, I played Handel’s Messiah over 200 times. I know classical music, I’ve played everything from Rhapsody in Blue, Fugue in G minor, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Mozart and you name it. I’ve played them all
I also heard Charlie Daniels trying out The Devil Went Down To Georgia 6 months before He released it to see if the crowd would like it
Still, I enjoyed Robert Plant playing old Zeppelin tunes and Brad Paisley playing his greatest hits as much as anything. Rock N Roll, Trampled Under Foot, So Much Cooler Online, I’m Gonna Miss her were as much fun to listen to as anything.
Everyone likes their own style of music. I’m interested in what you guys like also.
“Moderate” Democrat Abigail Spanberger Considers Tax On Gym Memberships And Streaming Services, Among Other Ideas
Virginia Governor Abigail Spanberger is facing backlash after refusing to rule out new taxes on everyday services like gym memberships and streaming subscriptions, according to the Daily Mail.
During an interview with 8News, the Virginia governor was asked whether she would sign legislation expanding the state’s sales tax to cover a long list of services. Rather than rejecting the idea outright, Spanberger said any proposal that seems “reasonable” should at least be part of the conversation as lawmakers search for new sources of revenue.
Tax everything that moves and restrict people from having a life.
And then there is Zohan Mamadini. Let’s not overlook that he has a huge spread in Uganda. There is a muslim governor at the place the planes were flown into the towers 2 decades ago. Ironic, isn’t it?
Her priority is maintaining a safe space for illegal aliens and refugees. And if that interferes with the safety of vulnerable legal residents, including seniors, so be it.
None of this is a surprise. Often referred to as the Mamdani of the West during her campaign, Wilson never tried to hide her far-left world view. She once told supporters, “Yes, I am a socialist. … I’m fine with being called a socialist.”
Wilson’s indifference to the well-being of an elderly city resident reveals something about her character. Last week, she laughed at the prospect of wealthy taxpayers fleeing the city. “Bye” she said with a big grin on her face.
Seattle was already a city in decline before Wilson took office. Something tells me it’s about to get a lot worse.
I suppose it is packing up from Florida, where I’d lived my whole life, and moving the entire family to North Carolina without ever having been there. It was a new job, a new house, a new career, and a complete change of life. I was in my late 30’s so it was not one of those teenage roadtrips.
As it turned out, it set me on the course of a great place to live, out of the Florida heat and tourist trap living, and gave me financial security for the rest of my life.
While the job was still in the Tech industry, it was in an area that I’d never been a part of. In the interview, I got asked what I knew about Networking Hardware, and I (honestly) said that I was not well-versed.
My answer was that since this was a job dealing with the press, I knew what they wanted and my strengths were there. I nailed the interview, and we just up and left in a couple of weeks.
I was working in the finance division of Burdines Department Stores when the IBM-PC was announced. I had been working with a System 34 and immediately saw my future. This was around 1981.
The head of our DP department said there would be no need for PC’s because you couldn’t do anything with them. So I left
Within months, I was working for the largest Independent PC store in the country and balls-deep into the world of PCs.
It was the biggest open door to opportunity that I’ve seen in my whole life. I knew there was a huge future, and I was about to get in on the ground floor at the very beginning. I started with CPM on Apple II and DOS 1.0 on the PC.
They weren’t ubiquitous back then. I learned more by fixing them and figuring out why they crashed than almost everyone I knew.
The other decision I view as one of my best is to not take the COVID-19 jab. While everyone pressured me to get it, I held my ground. To this day, I don’t regret it and never have to worry about what they put into it. You can never get un-jabbed.
The next time an introvert in your life needs alone time, remember it’s not personal. They need solitude because that’s how they’re wired.
I love spending time alone. There’s nothing better than being at home in my comfy clothes, reading a good book, or watching a show while munching on snacks. This doesn’t mean I don’t crave time with “my people” — those I laugh with and share my day with. But when I don’t get enough alone time, I start to feel tired, cranky, and overstimulated, even if I’ve enjoyed being with the people I love.
Sometimes when I need alone time, the people in my life feel hurt. They feel rejected, but that’s not what it means. I need little periods of solitude to recharge my energy and feel like myself again.
Why do introverts need alone time? Why does socializing exhaust us, even when we’re having fun? Recent research offers some interesting insights. I delve deeper into these findings in my book, The Secret Lives of Introverts.
The Curious Connection Between Introverts and Rewards
When writing my book, I spoke with Colin DeYoung, a psychology professor at the University of Minnesota who had published a paper on introversion. He explained that one reason introverts need alone time is related to how we respond to rewards.
No, I’m not talking about the gold stars you might have earned in grade school (though it could be argued that stickers are indeed a reward for kids). For adults, rewards can be things like money, social status, social connections, food, and even sex. When you get promoted at work or convince an attractive stranger to give you their phone number, you’re receiving a reward. Hurray!
Of course, introverts also value things like money, relationships, and food. However, researchers believe that introverts are wired to respond differently to rewards than extroverts. Compared to our more outgoing counterparts, we “quiet ones” are simply less motivated and energized by these same rewards. It’s as if extroverts see big, juicy steaks everywhere, while introverts see overcooked hamburgers.
In fact, as any introvert can confirm, sometimes those “rewards” aren’t just less appealing — they can actually be tiring and annoying, like a big party. This brings me to another reason why introverts need alone time: We react differently to stimulation.
An Extrovert and an Introvert Go to a Party
Take, for example, two friends at a house party — one an extrovert, the other an introvert. They’re crammed into a crowded room where loud music blares from huge speakers. Everyone is practically shouting to be heard over the din. There are a dozen conversations happening simultaneously, with just as many things demanding their attention.
For the extrovert, this level of stimulation might feel just right. He sees potential rewards everywhere — an attractive stranger across the room, opportunities to deepen old relationships, and the chance to make new friends. Most importantly, tonight offers a chance to boost his social status within his friend group, especially if he plays his cards right.
So, the extrovert feels energized and excited to be at the party. In fact, he’s so motivated that he stays late into the night. He’s exhausted the next day and needs time to recover — after all, partying is hard work. But to him, the energy spent was well worth it.
Now, back to our introvert. See him over there, hunkered down in the corner? For him, the environment feels overwhelming. It’s too loud, there are too many things happening at once, and the crowd creates a dizzying buzz of activity. Sure, he wants to make friends, fit in, and be liked, but these rewards just aren’t as tantalizing to him. It feels like he would have to expend a lot of energy for something he’s only mildly interested in to begin with.
So, the introvert heads home early to watch a movie with his roommate. In his own apartment, with just one other person, the level of stimulation feels just right. He exchanges some texts with a woman he met a few weeks ago in one of his classes. Like the extrovert, he too wants friends and a romantic partner. However, he finds it too tiring to deal with the noise and socializing at a big party to make those connections.
The Dopamine Difference
Chemically, there’s a good reason the introvert in the above scenario feels overwhelmed, and it relates to a neurotransmitter called dopamine. This chemical, found in the brain, is often referred to as the “feel good” chemical because it regulates our pleasure and reward centers.
One of its roles is to make us notice potential rewards and motivate us to pursue them. For example, dopamine alerts the extrovert to the attractive stranger at the party and fuels his motivation to come up with a cheesy pick-up line.
Another important function of dopamine is reducing our cost of effort. Socializing requires energy because it involves paying attention, listening, thinking, speaking, and moderating our emotional reactions. Technically, socializing is tiring for everyone, including extroverts. However, dopamine helps make it less exhausting for them.
According to DeYoung, extroverts have a more active dopamine reward system. As a result, they can better tolerate — and often push through — the tiredness that inevitably comes with socializing. Much of the time, they don’t experience the same level of mental and physical fatigue that introverts do, thanks to dopamine.
It’s called the “introvert” hangover, not the “extrovert” hangover for a reason.
A New Theory of Introverts and Dopamine
In her 2002 book, The Introvert Advantage, Dr. Marti Olsen Laney speculated that introverts may be more sensitive to dopamine. In other words, we “quiet ones” might need less of it to feel good. Too much, she wrote, could leave us feeling overstimulated.
Science has come a long way since then. When I caught up with DeYoung again, he told me that theory had since been disproven. In fact, scientists now think it’s the opposite.
In fact, DeYoung told me, extroverts are the ones who are more sensitive to dopamine. For example, if introverts and extroverts are given the same drug that affects dopamine, extroverts tend to have a stronger response and become more motivated by similar stimuli later on.
It’s not that dopamine itself makes introverts feel overstimulated. Rather, when introverts do overstimulating things, like going to a party, they may not get as much dopamine release. Extroverts, on the other hand, may get a much bigger dopamine hit from those same activities.
“Without the sense of reward, the extra focus, and the sense of being ‘worth the effort’ that dopamine initiates,” DeYoung told me, “the introverts simply find the activities overwhelming and/or tiring instead.”
Extroverts Place More Significance on People
Finally, a study found that extroverts might simply find humans more interesting than introverts do. This finding aligns with the idea that introverts are less motivated to seek social rewards.
In this study, researchers observed a diverse group of individuals and recorded their brain’s electrical activity using an EEG. As participants were shown pictures of both objects and people, the researchers measured their brains’ P300 activity. This activity happens quickly in response to sudden changes around us and gets its name because it occurs within 300 milliseconds.
Interestingly, researchers found that extroverts showed the P300 response primarily when viewing images of faces, whereas introverts only exhibited this response after viewing objects. Essentially, extroverts’ brains became more active when looking at people.
This doesn’t mean that introverts hate people (though, admittedly, the human race can get on my nerves occasionally). Researchers still don’t fully understand introversion. However, these findings suggest that extroverts might simply place more importance on social interactions than introverts do.
So, the next time an introvert in your life needs alone time, remember that it’s not personal. Introverts need alone time because their brains are wired that way. It isn’t necessarily a reflection of how they feel about you or your relationship.
As for me, you can find me at home tonight. Preferably with the whole place to myself, that is.
That’s easy. With my health problems, I’ll be a pile of ashes spread out somewhere.
Even though I’ll post it as a reminder, I’m going under the knife tomorrow morning. I’ve scheduled some stuff in advance, but I can’t promise much after Wednesday.
I may get headlines out tomorrow, but that will be the last day until probably the weekend.
That people were shallow. That people would peak at different times in their lives. For some, the peak was high school.
I learned that I had to try harder to be more successful than those I went to school with. To not stand still at that point in life, but to learn and grow and to unlock my fullest potential. I set my standards to be better than those I went to school with. That came to fruition.
Mostly, I learned to never look back. I closed that chapter in my life, and the best thing about it was leaving. I needed to move on in life and do more.
Yannow, they’s assholes evrywhar. The entier country wants the Save Act, including the libs, yet Thune can’t get it passed. It would stop cheating as we know it, although I’m sure they will think of a new way
The Senate has packed up and gone on a two-week vacation without passing the SAVE America Act. They also passed a compromise bill to fund DHS, except for ICE and CBP and their support staff, which House Speaker Mike Johnson has rejected.
I know he hates Trump, but does he hate Americans and Republican control of the Senate also?
Hard as he tried, he still couldn’t be a bigger asshole than the wife of Gavin Newsom. Yes, he’s running for president and his wife just did this:
Gavin Newsom’s wifey brags about taking her kids to southern American states to see “racism” up close and personal
How about the homeless, the people and companies leaving the state that her husband ruined, and the shithole that California has become?
She is vying to be 1st Lady and pulls this kind of shit.
According to Jennifer, the Newsom family took the kids on a red state tour to show them firsthand what racism is all about. The problem with this, however, is that these states and their inhabitants are not racist. In fact, implying people are racist simply by existing would, in fact, be racist.
She went as far as to claim that she wanted to see racism, misogyny, and bullying for them to effectively “be the change they wish to see in the world.” She believed visiting these states would “expand their hearts” so that they could continue on the leftist mission their father had embarked on. And while it is great to teach your kids that things like racism, sexism, and bullying are wrong, she largely missed the mark here.
She went looking for trouble when it was in her backyard.
She’s trying to outdo Hillary, Michelle (Big Mike) Obama or Jill Biden as the worst first lady.
That probably won’t happen, but what will is that she is the asshole of the week.
The real answer is almost everything. From the minute you are born, you live a different life from everyone else.
So the real answer is life. It shapes everyone differently, from the experiences to how we handle them. Even Identical twins have separate lives.
Unless you could do everything at the same time with the same person and have the same response, you are different.
That is comforting to me, because I don’t want what anyone else has. My life is mine.
On a side note, have you ever looked at a group of people together? How is it that we have that many people and not a one of them is the same? Different eyes, nose, ears, chin, size, shape, coloring, and the list goes on.
I could bring God into this conversation, but I know a lot of you have different views, so I’ll just leave it at this. Go ahead and try to find 2 people who are the same, or even close.
Either a mountain or a church. I’m most at home when I”m in the mountains, which is strange since I grew up at the beach. Tourists ruined that for me.
I long for the quiet and peacefulness, and the weather in the summer.
No one is going to remember me for anything, so a church might want them to consider eternity and make a decision to dedicate their life to God instead of ruin it like most do.
Aside from the fact that there is a God, this is an easy one.
No one gives a shit about you, really. Not long after you die, people don’t even think of you, other than in a story. Two generations after you die, virtually no one remembers you or anything you did.
Think of all the people who have come and gone in your life. You don’t think about 90% of them. Who remembers every kid in elementary school? How about the kids on the street you grew up on. When did you speak with them last? Did they initiate the conversation?
Most people overestimate their importance, especially to others. Your spouse will likely even get remarried if you die.
This works for me on a lot of levels, though. I have eliminated a lot of people from my life who weren’t making it any better. That’s a thing that is best for introverts, though.
This fact has been my best friend in a lot of instances. I even got rid of Facebook because too many people wanted back in my life that I thought I’d gotten rid of.
I got into computers before there was a PC. When I saw the introduction of the Apple II and the IBM-PC, I saw the opportunity door of life open, and I was first in line.
No one else could figure out what to do with them, as I lived in a mainframe world. I learned everything I could, and by the time others started playing with them, I was an industry insider. I worked with some of the smartest people in the industry. It was fun to know what was coming years before they announced it.
I used to worry about other people’s feelings, and I wound up doing a lot of stuff that I didn’t want to do. I found out later that they didn’t really care and felt expendable. They would have been ok if I was there or not, so I wasted a lot of time.
Now, I’ll make exceptions for some of my family, but I say no a lot. Sometimes, my goal is that I just don’t want to do what they want to. When I found out they didn’t really care, and I wasn’t hurting anyone’s feelings, I am just fine saying no to almost anything and everything.
My goal is to avoid crowds and people whenever possible now
I learned way more from mistakes than I did from successes. I expected them. Having to re-do something, or being embarrassed for saying or doing the wrong thing, were lessons I never forgot. For the record, I consider losing the same thing as a mistake. I hate to lose at anything. If I do, I make sure it only happens once in a row,.
Life is a great teacher. When you get old like me, you’ve been through a lot. School can’t teach you much other than how to learn, or some facts to memorize. Having to survive is a lesson that I get every day. Hell, I’m grateful every day I wake up now.
Yannow, it gets boring when one person keeps being an asshole. So, I’m not giving her the prize, but she gets mentioned. This woman (I think she’s a female) should just STFU.
Michelle Obama has gone off about how her family was held to higher standards during her husband Barack‘s presidency, RadarOnline.com can reveal.
The former first lady took a swipe at President Donald Trump and his family, saying there’s “no way” his behavior would have been “accepted” by the public compared to when the Obamas lived in the White House.
There’s more here, but she’s just bitching. It’s all a lie because she had 3 times the number of staff that Melania has, drank only top-shelf liquor, and got handed everything to her from fame to fortune while doing mostly nothing, but bitching.
But, this weeks winner was Obama’s writer, and liar Jon Favreau.
Would someone please reach out to Jon Favreau and remind him that he worked for Obama, one of the worst presidents in the history of this country? Oh yeah, and also remind him about Libya, Syria … and the price of gas under his boss.
Not to mention the last person who has anything to say about Iran is a guy whose boss sent billions of dollars to the same 86-year-old tyrant he’s ranting about.
You have to be irretrievably stupid or deliberately trolling to think this post was a smart thing to write.
Dead Americans, $100/barrel oil, billions of dollars a day on a massive war that's so far replaced an 86-year-old tyrant with his son.
He hits out at the current administration for shit that isn’t half as bad as what they pulled. He’s showing more love for a murdering Mullah than the USA.
For the preliminaries, I’d like to point out the rot at Duke University.
Twenty years ago this month, the infamous Duke Lacrosse Case exploded on the Duke University campus, with three members of the university’s lacrosse team falsely accused of raping and assaulting a black stripper. It took more than a year to exonerate those young men, but only after the false charges had ruined lives and exposed elite higher education in the US.
The Duke boys didn’t do anything different than a lot of college kids, but Duke got exposed for how they treated their students. members of the Duke University faculty and administration who took part in framing innocent people for a crime that did not happen. And hovering over all of the wreckage was a combination of national and local media whose reporters—with some heroic exceptions—followed a false narrative until it drove them right over a cliff.
If you have lived in the Triangle in NC, loyalties run deep, but most people hate Duke. They went woke and the quality of a degree there isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.
Next comes Tim Walz. Ever since Obama, they wanted a VP who was more stupid than the presidential candidate so as not to threaten him. It’s hard to be more stupid than Kamala, yet here we are.
The Justice Department, which has indicted almost 100 people for fraud schemes in Minnesota, has estimated the scale of fraud to have potentially exceeded $9 billion since 2018.
Feeding Our Future looted taxpayers for an alleged $250 million. Walz and his liberal media allies at the Minneapolis Star Tribune claimed that a state court ordered the state Education Department to resume payments to this criminal enterprise. The court denies this.
But your winner is a man who does not understand God, yet is willing to open his mouth to be an asshole about it.
James Talaricobarely had time to savor his primary win over Rep. Jasmine Crockett before the Republican opposition research machine started doing what it does best. Within hours of the Associated Press calling the race, an avalanche of old tweets and video clips had already begun circulating – and Republicans are practically giddy.
The first batch of video ammunition came courtesy of Senate Republicans, who surfaced a clip of Talarico invoking Scripture to defend gender ideology. “God is both masculine and feminine and everything in between. God is nonbinary,” he said in the footage.
He also said, “Trans children are God’s children, made in God’s own image. There’s nothing wrong with them, nothing at all. They are perfect, they are beautiful, and they are sacred. Bullying children is immoral. It’s a sin, a special kind of sin.”
He separately described Jesus as a “radical feminist.”
Some things you should just not go there on. God is at the top of the list, especially if you have no belief or idea who he is.
Obama Library, in the South side of Chicago, where crime is the worst.
Borg Cube
When former President Barack Obama announced plans for his presidential center on Chicago’s South Side, he described it as a privately funded investment in the city that would give back to the community that shaped his political career.
And while construction of the brutalist eyesore itself remains privately financed through the Obama Foundation, taxpayers are footing the bill for massive infrastructure costs.
A review by Fox News found that state and city agencies have not produced a unified accounting of total public expenditures tied to the project’s surrounding infrastructure. While individual agencies have disclosed partial figures, no single office has reconciled those totals or clarified how they overlap.
At the time the project was approved in 2018, public infrastructure costs were projected at roughly $350 million, to be split between the State of Illinois and the City of Chicago. Those estimates covered roadway modifications, utility relocations and related improvements necessary to accommodate the 19.3-acre campus in Jackson Park that nobody asked for.
In July, the Illinois Department of Transportation said that approximately $229 million in state-managed infrastructure spending had been committed to the project. That total includes about $19 million for preliminary engineering, $24 million for construction engineering and $186 million for construction activities. A department spokesperson described the earlier $174 million figure as a preliminary 2017 estimate.
Cornell Drive, a four-lane roadway along the eastern edge of Jackson Park, was removed and traffic rerouted farther west. Utilities, including water mains and sewer lines, were relocated, and new drainage systems were installed. City and state officials have said the changes were necessary to manage anticipated traffic and visitor demand.
The center occupies 19 acres of public parkland transferred under a 99-year agreement for $10, a decision that prompted legal challenges arguing that the arrangement was not in the public interest. Courts ultimately dismissed those lawsuits.
Though often described as a presidential library, the Chicago complex will not function as a traditional library operated by the National Archives and Records Administration. Former President Obama’s official records will be maintained by the federal government at a facility in Maryland, while the Chicago site will be operated privately by the Obama Foundation.
The foundation also pledged to establish a $470 million endowment intended to protect taxpayers in the event the project encounters financial difficulty. According to previous reporting by Fox News, that fund has received $1 million in deposits.
As usual, he fucked the people and didn’t tell the truth about the project. Does anyone remember if you like your plan/doctor, you can keep your plan/doctor? No one is going to go visit this other than some family, friends, and blacks who still believe he didn’t lie and use them. After that, probably a mosque. I wonder if it’s facing Mecca.
Stand up for yourself and don’t try to make everybody happy, you can’t.
Not everyone is your friend, no matter what they say or do.
Don’t be afraid to hurt somebody else’s feelings if you have to sacrifice yourself.
Realize that you are introverted and that not doing a bunch of stupid stuff because the crowd wants to is not a good enough reason to do it.
Take your time and enjoy what you are doing. It will go by too quickly. You don’t have to do everything right away. Life will let you get the experience if you give it time.
I have a couple of readers (you know who you are) who give way better answers than I do because they’ve had different experiences than I have. I wonder what they will say?
Delusions of Adequacy 