It’s true. A lot of this is said and not in jest.
Captain Obvious On This One
Dumbass Of The Year – Darwin Award Winner
On a dare, I guess there was alcohol involved
High IQ Humor – Pizza Style
Ok, is it delivery or is it in the freezer?
And so it continues, happily ever after.
The Other Answer To The Great Over/Under Toilet Paper Debate
I’d never thought of this one.
FaceBook And Instagram Photo Filters, Also Known As Lying
Social media, where being fake about who you are for a hit on the like button, by people who probably don’t really like it. Adults acting like children and children learning to lie.
Stolen from Woosterman.
High IQ Humor, Eating Style
I think I’ve heard this one before, but you think about it after reading.
I promised the ladies I’d get to husbands. Enjoy and share with your girlfriends.
I had no other theme for the day. Don’t fret ladies, I’ll get to men next week. It’s just that there is a lot fewer of these.
thanks to Woosterman for the last 2
Harvard scholars: Marriage makes women happier and healthier – Yes, but it makes their husbands way more miserable
First of all, it is a study from Harvard, the most overrated study hall in the country. Since it only talks about the girls, it’s only half of the story, so I’ll fill in the details.
There is no making girls happy. If they are, it won’t last long and the next crisis has already left the train station and is arriving soon. That means the husbands are taking the toll on this one. Men don’t have a chance unless you totally don’t give a shit when she’s mad (This guys is the key to marriage)
Here is an excerpt and a link below, but I discount everything Harvard says as their woke policies have bred mediocrity.
Married women ‘had lower risk of cardiovascular disease, less depression and loneliness, were happier and more optimistic, and had a greater sense of purpose and hope’
Marriage positively affects women’s mental and physical health, which can lead to long-term health benefits, according to a recent study published in the journal Global Epidemiology.
Led by a team of Harvard researchers, the study examined over 11,830 American female nurses who took different marital pathways and assessed how their lives turned out over a 25-year span.
It found that those who got married “had lower mortality, lower risks of cardiovascular diseases, greater psychological wellbeing and less psychological distress,” the study’s summary states.
Moreover, researchers found that those who got divorced or separated had “greater psychosocial distress, and possibly greater risks of mortality, cardiovascular diseases, and smoking.”
Ying Chen, a research associate with the Human Flourishing Program at the Harvard Institute for Quantitative Social Science, told The College Fix in an email this week that “Marriage remains an important source of social support for many people.”
“Our results are consistent with the existing literature suggesting that, on average, [marriage] contributes to better health and wellbeing,” Chen said.
I bet the husband’s cardiovascular health went down the toilet because there is no report on that from Harvard.
I’m guessing the men are now drinking a whole lot more.
Don’t forget the joke about why Jewish men die early, they want to.
Cinco De Mayo, Uh Oh
High IQ Humor – Temperature Style
Since my most clicked on post ever is Euphemisms for Stupid, I like this one. That post sat on top of Google at #1 for years as the list of how to call someone stupid.
Wile E. Coyote Sighting
I’m looking for an ACME box somewhere as he hits wall
High IQ Humor – Chemistry Style
When your formula is cubed. It’s a kids favorite, almost every time.
The Story Of Everybody’s Life
Neither condition lasts for long, but it is true for everyone.
Paradoxical Stuff That Happens To Everyone
This happens to me like everyone else. When in school, I used to get a whole pack of these and I never once remember making it to the end.
Just try and find a pen when you have to take a message on the phone and almost 100% of the time it won’t write.
In Case You Need A Lawyer For More Than 4 Hours, You Might As Well Get Strong, Dick Strong
I don’t even know if this is real, but if it is he’s clever. Medically, it’s called priapism.
Equality Isn’t Real Life For Females (Plus Why They Don’t Trust Each Other)
Everything is about equality these days. The reality is that Males and females are not equal and will never be. It’s why men pretending to be girls are terrible at it (and look ugly while trying), except for kicking ass in sports. Ergo not equal. It’s why girls aren’t good superhero’s. I wish they would stop it, along with the woke thinking that they are in real life. A girl is a girl and a guy is a guy.
Let’s look at it.
First, girl action hero’s are not believable. In no world is a girl going to kick ass on a guy. Girls believing they are hero’s or are going to out fight a man are going to learn a hard lesson.
Hollywood is laying out an image of woman that is far more unrealistic and harmful than even the old Barbie doll image, which really could inspire women to pursue beauty and health if interpreted positively. Whereas there is no positive spin on encouraging women to see themselves as capable of going toe to toe with big men in a fight.
It is remarkably foolish. It is not just bad entertainment, it is not just bad and unrealistic and unimaginative writing, it is dangerous messaging. Messaging which has been taken up and believed by many women today who pursue combat roles in the army, conflict roles in the police and sport and many other things.
Messaging matters and this messaging needs to be challenged.
The Dangerous Message (lie) of the “Strong Female Protagonist”
The stereotypical “strong female protagonist” that many modern movies and television shows, books and comics want to foist on the general public are not just bad writing or uninteresting characters, they are dangerous messaging.
We have to remember that people are more often emotional rather than rational, and are far more likely to be convinced by consistently pushed rhetorical messaging than reasoned facts. This is a polite way of saying that many people are not that bright, and not that thoughtful about what they believe.
Therefore, presenting women consistently as being able to go toe to toe with men, is planting dangerous messages, anti-civilizational messages, in the minds of young men and women.
John C. Wright explains:
“If Supergirl is from Planet Krypton, fine, she can punch goons through solid brick walls, no problem. Ditto for Starfire of the Teen Titans. If Buffy the Vampire Slayer is possessed by all the strength of the ghosts of all the Slayers back to the First Slayer, fine, she has super duper strength and it is magic. Fine. That is all fine with me. (Supergirl is a horrible character, especially the latest one. Even Super dog is better)
But when the heroine is Hit Girl or Batgirl or some leggy blonde selected for her cup size rather than fighting ability, such portrayals of wispy little she-adventuresses able to tackle boatloads of thugs built like linebackers not only as absurdly unrealistic, they have the sinister tendency to make it socially acceptable for boys to hit girls.Source
This leads to girls getting their asses kicked: (note by me here, I studied martial arts for decades. I never had to go full speed ever against any female. In fact I had to take it easy on them in stand up sparring or on the mat. I was always faster, stronger and could out think them in strategy without much effort. It was like playing with kids)
Back to the source article and discussing why it isn’t misogynistic. Not one, but two girls of my close acquaintance both had this happen to them.
They had been convinced, and everyone had told them, and all the movies and television shows had shown them, that girls could fight boys and be victorious. One girl was shocked when a male friend of hers, just horsing around, pinned her down with one hand. She had always thought she’d be able to fend off an attacker. Not without an equalizer, she wouldn’t. The other friend was equally shocked when the boy she was with was walking down the beach with her, and he picked her up, (I do not know whether bride style or Tarzan style), and ran full speed down the beach with her. She realized with a shock that she could not have picked him up no matter what, not even in an emergency, not even if he was helping. These were not even linebackers built like Conan or men on the leading edge of physical strength for men, they were ordinary boys of ordinary strength.” Wright, John C.. Transhuman and Subhuman: Essays on Science Fiction and Awful Truth (pp. 325-326). Still Waters Books. Kindle Edition.
Back to me. It’s why I never believed that the Black Widow was a real or even a good Avenger. She was window dressing and best only when talking to the hero’s. Captain Marvel was a terrible movie and character. No one saw her as a hero and she didn’t even act like one, even with CGI. She was so woke they cut her out of Avengers Endgame except at the end.
In real life, if I were a soldier, I’d be mighty worried that if I got injured, that a girl would have to fireman carry my ass out of the battle. I’d rather have men around me that are big, strong and could fight and would save your life. That is reality.
Why Girls Shouldn’t Trust Other Girls About Relationships
Sitting around my mom while she was fixing one of her saris, giving us some life advice. Here is what she told us:
She was telling us all about how it’s important NEVER to ask a girlfriend about relationship problems. Because girls more often than not will lead you astray. And especially when girls are young they will knowingly or unknowingly ruin your life.
She has an employee who is a cute little 26yo newly wed. The girl complained to her about her husband and my mom gave her the other perspective from her husbands point of view. Made her rethink her whole position with more maturity. Girlfriends don’t do that. Matriarchs do
Girls want to win your favor. They want you to like them. So they will say whatever they can to be on your side. They don’t have the ability or experience to see the situation from all points of view, and they don’t have the integrity to disagree with or counter you to your face. (They are lying, which they are good at)
But the thing is, 50% of the time you ARE wrong and there are very few, perhaps one in a thousand girls, who will tell you the truth, even if it is not what you’d like to hear. And most women don’t have the experience of good relationships to give good advice
Another person to never take advice from are older women who have been unsuccessful in their relationships in life. I remember a woman I knew who had gotten divorced and she was lecturing me in her man hating bitter ways every time she talked to me. In one ear out the other! They are bitter (almost always liberal) cat ladies that carp about everything, men and other women.
The girl complained to my mom that her husband never took her out. My mom reminded her that he’s a truck driver and wants to be home because he’s out all week. She complained about not getting gifts and my mom reminded her he’s providing for her so she can work just for fun
Back to me. A girl I rode bikes with (and had to hold back not to drop her) told me that girls are mean. They’ll say you look good when it is a lie so you’ll keep wearing that outfit or dress that way. They lied on purpose to be mean to the other girl, then talked behind their backs. She turned out to be a bitch also.
Why can’t we let girls be girls and stop telling them to act like men? Conversely and I’ve written about it already (see the Bud Light posts a few down) that men make terrible pretend girls. It’s just ruining females for everyone, especially them.
Life isn’t equal and neither are the sexes.
Why Nike, Bud Light And Jack Daniels Hate God
Because they don’t like being told the truth.
5 A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.
There are many more:
1“No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.
I could go on as there is much more, like in the New Testament about who gets into the kingdom of Heaven, but this sin has been around a long time.
Eternity is a long time. Ignoring that won’t make it go away. They hate God and are going against what the Bible says at every turn.
It’s going to catch up with them and there is no running away from judgement. That is why they hate God.
High IQ Humor – Pet Style
This is the most obvious question, something kids are great at.
Bastards, April Fools
This would be cruel, unless I did it.
Murphy’s Mother’s Laws
Another long lost post.
Murphy’s mothers laws
- Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don’t..
- A mother’s love is a better cure than chicken soup, but chicken soup is cheaper.
- Your mother is the only person that knows more about you than you know about yourself.
- Any time you are unable to solve a problem, ask your mother. She probably won’t know either, but she will fake it.
- Maternal instinct is stronger than any force known except an IRS collection agent.
- The more you try to stay on your mother’s good side the harder it will be to figure out which side this is.
- The nicer a mother is, the greater the probability that her kids are rotten.
- If you can’t remember whether or not you called your mother, you didn’t.
- The motherly advice you ignore will always turn out to be the best advice she ever gave you.
- If you forget, mom will remind you of all your mistakes so you don’t repeat them.
- Anything you do can be criticized by your mother – even doing nothing.
- Never criticize your mother’s cooking if you expect to get any more of it.
- If you think you have any secrets from your mother, remember who has changed your diapers.
- You can’t “out mother” your mother. Don’t even try.
- Never lie to your mother. And if you do, never think you got away with it.
- The harder you try to hide something from your mother, the more she resembles a webcam.
- The older you are, the more you feel like a child around your mother.
- All mother’s have a “How To” manual. That’s because they wrote the book.
- Mother’s way is best. If you don’t believe it, ask her.
- Everything is a good idea till you mother finds out and tells you why it isn’t.
- One mother is company, two is a psychic reading, three is a hen party, four is a bridge club.
- If you don’t have time to study the drivers’ manual, drive your mother somewhere and get a quick refresher course.
- When you are broke, ask mom for a loan. She will help you remember what you wasted all your money on.
- The more expensive the gift you give your mother, the longer she will “save” it before she uses it.
- No matter how wrong you are, your mother will not hold it against you. She may remind you a number of times, but she will not hold it against you.
- No matter how much you eat, you can never get so fat that mother will not offer you more food.
- If a mother does not have an item, she will have the recipe or the directions.
- The more times mother reminds you to take an umbrella, the greater the probability of rain.
- Accomplishments are made possible by your mother – failures are your own fault.
- Never forget who rocked you as a baby. That’s something else you will never be able to repay her for.
- Mother can always tell you a better way to do something after you’ve already done it.
- The longer it’s been since you cleaned house, the more likely it is that mother will visit.
- No matter how small your mom is, she will always be bigger than you are.
- The more you detest an item that belongs to your mother, the more likely it is that she will try to give it to you.
- If you do it yourself, mom could have done it better. If mom does it, you should have done it yourself.
- You never are as good as other people’s children. You are never as bad as mom imagines.
- The only thing more accurate than a mother’s advice is her memory of the times you didn’t take it.
- The funnier the joke is, the more likely mom will think it is dirty.
- Never tell your mother you have nothing to do. She can always find something.
- If the job of a mother is going smoothly, she thinks she isn’t doing it well.
- There are always two sides to a story – the way it really happened and the way mother remembers it.
- Mothers always “know.” We don’t know how – they just do.
- Murphy’s mother told him so.
This article was written by Sheila Moss, from Humor Columnist.Com and copied with her permission.
Copyright 2001 Sheila Moss
- a child will never ask Mom to get something until she sits down.
Corollary – a child will only ask for a glass of milk after you put the milk carton back in the refrigerator.
Sent by Lexia Gibson
- Call your Mom
Sent by Nikki Hubbell-VanHoosear
- If your kid grows up to be like you its an insult, not to you, to the kid
Sent by Mohammed Ram jackson
- You can fool some people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, but you can’t fool Mum
Sent by Meself
- Small, teething children will chew on the most valuable thing within reach. The same goes for puppies and juvenile tigers, bears, or crocodiles.
Sent by -?Anonymous!
- If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.
Stuff You Need To Know, To Know Everything
I lost a year and a half of posts when I switched from blogger to WordPress. I’ll post some of the stuff mostly to get it on record.
December 28th, 2006 by jsimonds
“Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand and “lollipop” with your right. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn’t you?)
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”. (Are you doubting this?)
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you’re going to try this out for accuracy, right?)
The words ‘racecar,’ ‘kayak’ and ‘level’ are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).(Yep, I knew you were going to “do” this one.)
There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. (You’re not doubting this, are you?)
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: “abstemious” and “facetious.”(Yes, admit it, you are going to say . a e i o u)
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.(All you typists are going to test this out)
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.(I know some people that could do this too.)
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.(Good thing he did that)
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Now you know everything you need to know.
Captain Obvious: No Self Driving Ferrari Per The Company
Why would you want to ride in a Ferrari when you can command such a beast around the roads? It would be like having the most beautiful girl in the world and not sleep with her.
At least the company headquartered in Maranello announced they won’t pollute the sanctity of their driving machines with this feature.
They caved to e-fuels, but the essence of the prancing horse will stay intact.
Self-driving Ferraris are not for us, Ferrari chief executive Ferrari Benedetto Vigna said Monday. “Lifestyle business is immportant for us,” Vigna said. “It allows us to expand links with our community.”
Vigna also welcomed plans to exempt cars that run on e-fuels from the European Union’s planned 2035 phase-out of new combustion engine vehicles as they will give the luxury carmaker “greater freedom” on its power systems.
COMBUSTION ENGINE EXCEPTION
The European Union and Germany have reached a deal allowing new cars powered by combustion engines (ICE) to be sold beyond the 2035 deadline, or 2036 for so-called small volume manufacturers like Ferrari, if they run on carbon-neutral e-fuels.
“The good news for us as a company is that on top of electric cars, we’ll also be able to go on with our internal combustion engines ones,” Vigna told a Reuters Newsmaker event.
“This decision is very interesting for us because it allows ICEs to go beyond 2036,” he added.
Ferrari, which is renowned for its powerful petrol engines, is already producing plug-in hybrid cars and has promised its first full-electric vehicle for 2025.
However, Ferrari, which sold over 13,200 cars in 2022, has never provided a roadmap for going all electric.
Presenting its new business plan last year, Ferrari said fully electric and hybrid models would make up 80% of those in its range by 2030, while 20% would still be powered by internal combustion engines.
“This does not change,” Vigna said. “We don’t want to tell clients which car to use. We want to make three kinds of propulsion available for them – hybrid, electric and ICE – and they will chose.”
Vigna reassured investors that the company’s investment plans would not be affected by combustion engines getting an extended life, as Ferrari had already “embedded” this scenario in its business plan.
“The figure I gave (last year) – 4.4 billion euros ($4.7 billion) for capex in the 2022-2026 period – it’s enough for us to go ahead with electrification and also with ICEs which are compatible with e-fuels,” he said.
Vigna said Ferrari’s upcoming electric model would be “a unique car” but would not be drawn on details, adding that “keeping secret is part of the recipe.”
He added it was wrong to assume that specific forms of propulsion would match specific models in the future. Fuels are a mean to provide the performance expected from a Ferrari car, he said.
He said that the price of e-fuels, or synthetic fuels, was likely to come down as they are developed in coming years.
“They’re a new technology, and like for all new technologies they have time to become cheaper,” he said. ($1 = 0.9279 euros)
Good Photo Bombs, Level Expert
The best I could do on my own was a dog taking a dump in the background. A lot of people have that. I’ve never made expert.
Life As An Introvert
Me when we have company, or when I have to go somewhere. Where is the escape hatch.
Here’s how I deal with small talk
And unfortunately, how my mind beats me up for good and bad memories. The good never seems to make as much of an impression as the bad.
High IQ Humor – Ornithology Style
This was a good one for me. But that is my opinion.
High IQ Humor – Gang Signals or G-Spot Style
You tell me because I was never in a gang. I’ve found the other and had to explain it to kids during the sex talk.
Introvert Dilemma Trying To Find My Place, Or Am I An Introvert Superhero?
How I feel sometimes as an introvert.
The Enterprise NCC-1701 Being Built, And Being Built Today!
Well, not yet. I wish this was the real story instead of what I wake up and read in the news.
I also wish Star Trek hadn’t gone woke. It ruined Star Wars, Marvel and many other franchises that used to be fun to watch.
Live long and prosper.
Gilligan’s Island, The Epitaph
It was a good TV show when I was a kid. My Mom dreaded that I watched such nonsense and that it would certainly ruin me. I didn’t get any smarter by watching the show. It provided me with clean entertainment as compared to the woke TV the kids get now.
There were some things that didn’t make sense.
The professor could charge batteries for their radio by stirring coconuts, but couldn’t fix the Minnow?
Finally, my answer. It was Ginger, My how things have changed…
She’s the only one of the cast left
Why I Walk Away From People, Introvert Lessons In Life
This is true for me, although I didn’t learn quickly enough.
Once I realized you can’t change people, I changed me.
My internal GPS won’t let me stay in groups that I know are wrong for me, just not why. It’s called Mauerbauertraurigiheit.
As I wrote my way through my youth in a journal, I went to school with some people for up to 17 years. When I had the chance to be included, something I thought would finally endear me into their group, I wouldn’t do it. I realized who they were and knew they were poison and I couldn’t move ahead in life with them as an anchor.
It was the same for almost every group I’ve been in. The thought of being stuck with the same people because of duty was emotionally too great of a burden. I wasn’t there for the right reason. I couldn’t stay anymore.
A very old girlfriend reached out to me recently, but I couldn’t talk to her. It was a relationship that ended badly. I don’t have the desire to relive it again even though we’ve moved on. That is the point though, I moved on.
Yes! Kids Come Through Again With Classroom Projects Looking Like A Nut Sack
Mine would have wrinkles drawn on them. If it were 3D, they would move on their own for no reason.
An Introvert On Arguing
The biggest problem I have in my arguments is timing. I get out talked by people who tend to be wrong. Only later does the truth come out or I can express myself, but no one (except me) cares by then.
Like most introverts, I think things through, throw out the things that are wrong, then come up with a salient and correct argument. All of this is well after the discussion took place.
While being pressured to get the jab during Covid, I knew it was wrong and listened to everyone regurgitating the media and government lies (paid for by the Big Pharma companies). Since I was an island, it was everyone against me. There was nothing I could say that anyone would listen to other than my black friends. They remembered Tuskegee like I did.
The lesson? Stop trying to be right, learn patience for the facts to come out. They are coming out now.
This would have also helped me a lot earlier in life if I’d have known. I didn’t understand that I was an introvert though and thought I could go toe to toe with extrovert talkers not afraid to be wrong. I lost a debate to an imbecile in 8th grade when I clearly had the facts. He had the class popularity and the class went with him as he made up stuff.
It was similar in politics. The 2016 election won me a $100 bet, not that anyone cared. The 45th President continues to be right, so they just throw dirty underwear against the wall until something sticks. He is the comeback champion in rhetoric though so I stopped talking about that also. I was an island politically also. I lost every discussion on that one also even though my facts were proven right over time.
I found out that a lot of people don’t have a sense of history or really understand anything other than reading and repeating talking points they are told to think. Social media is making idiots out of the next generations. Knowing how to find information is not the same thing as understanding why things are the way they are.
I was already recognizing the pattern of facts that led to the truth, just not when I wanted it. I’d never make it as a lawyer or politician.
Maybe that’s why I write about this. It gets my thoughts (mostly cogently) in order and documents my position. It’s all I have sometimes. Since the internet is forever, here you go in the future if you read this.
Very rarely in my life do I have the proper comeback. It’s not satisfying when I do compared to the frustration of not being drop quick witted and precise information when needed.
So, I just have decided to let some stuff pass. It gets me out of talking to the under educated anyway.
The other lesson?
“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
― Mark Twain
High IQ Humor – En françes
This one is clever. Dans la piscine. C’est le vie
More Introvert Strategies For Escaping When You Have To
If I can’t get out of going to a social event (forget parties), this is my next best option.
I’ve done it on dates also.
I hit on a girl in one of my classes in college because she was kind of cute and noticeably large casaba’s. To this day, it was the most boring date of my life. I thought she didn’t like me, but I found out she was just uninteresting. We went to dinner where I thought we could at least talk about the class we just finished.
She appeared in the school magazine 40 years later doing turtle research and guess what? She never got married. Others must have found out what I did.
I didn’t take her for being a switch hitter, so she just didn’t try. I can’t even call her an introvert as I saw her talk in class for a whole semester.
I didn’t have a hard time carrying on back then as those were my drinking years. I tried to keep it going and had other plans (dancing I believe) later that night but took her home. It was going nowhere and I was tired of trying. I dated a lot and was in my prime so a lot of others at least did their part in trying to keep it going.
After going home, I went out with my friends to a bar later to brag that I got out of one of the worst dates of my life.
Now, I don’t drink anymore and I get out of banal socializing as often as I can before it happens. I like this method best.
By chance I have to go, I know where the bathroom is and play with the pets.
Still, leaving is usually my favorite part of going to these.
I Dialed This Number 100+ Times As A Kid, How Far Tech Has Come
back then it was 422-1611, I’ll never forget it.
High IQ Humor – Breast Style
Everyone loves boob jokes.
A Day That Won’t Happen Like This Again – What A Way To End The Year
What Happens To Guys When It Gets Cold
Double bonus here, it makes fun of vegetarians. No one is buying Beyond Meats as their stock is falling. I guess it tastes like it looks.
Even the companies don’t know if their meat is safe to eat
Lab-grown meat is often made using immortalized cell lines, which, unlike regular cells, are capable of continuously dividing and growing in a manner similar to cancer cells, according to Bloomberg. Companies developing lab-grown meats have largely remained silent about the connection between their product and cancer cells, possibly in a bid to keep consumers from getting skittish about their products.
Separated At Birth?
From my childhood, being a Looney Tunes aficionado. The episode is called Bully for Bugs. Classic line, Stop steaming up my tail and of course, you know this means war.
I think her kids names are Beavis and Butt-head.
My Childish Humor Strikes Again
Oh yes, I could say it with a straight face, depending on the other person. I just texted my friend George that there were a lot of balls to juggle, instead balls in the air.
I still call them wiener’s if there is a chance the other person will feel uncomfortable.
Hat tip to wirecutter on this one. It was too good to not share.
You Had One Job……
My Dad told me if you are going to do a job, do it right. He was an engineer and everything was perfect, every time.
Stuff That Is Impossible For Your Body To Do, Just Try To Do This
Stuff Like This Is Irritating As Hell
Again from Wirecutter.
I hate stuff like this. It’s like a picture that is crooked or one cord shorter than the other.
Conspiracy Meme Dump To Peruse And Share
I stood alone in my world on a lot of things since 2016. Now, instead of wearing a tin foil hat, it’s all being proved true. I don’t even bother with I told you so. I doubt the discernment of people around me a lot more.
Enjoy and share
This next one is not something I’m expecting. They thought I was the crazy one for not getting Jabbed, thinking putting America first was a good thing and that Biden is more abusive to females than Trump. They just wanted to be offended and were.
I don’t even bother with being right to them anymore. I don’t have to be when they are wrong so consistently. I don’t bother saying it anymore. Fortunately, it’s on my blog for years and they can’t mis-state what I’ve said all along.
A Double High IQ Humor – Astrophysics And Sarcasm Style
Another Version Of The Men Working Sign
My New Years Resolutions
I usually have the same ones, I don’t make them. If I’m going to do something, I’m already doing it and will continue.
I work out all the time and see the new people at the gym trying to get into shape or lose weight every year this time. They are usually gone by February. A certain day in the year can’t replace internal fortitude. You have passion about something and do it or it won’t continue. You lose interest or gain interest in something else. (That is the same reason I hate my birthday, it’s not going to make you any happier. I refuse to make some day more special because others say so, the same with exercising beginning on NYD)
I got lucky on Covid. I never took the clot shot for the Wuhan virus. I know the next crisis is leaving the station to be here in time for the 2024 election cycle. Don’t buy it. I hope to discern it quickly and not fall for that either. I’ll be watching though.
The one thing I will do even more diligently is protect myself from the WEF, the US government, Big Pharma and Washington. They have shown no interest in anyone other than themselves. They got away with one scaring everyone with Covid, but I hope to stay even more awake to this as well as wake up the sheep that have been in line. They either got lucky with the timing or that was a trial run. Only time will tell.
They did more to stop Hydroxycholoroquine and Ivermectin than they did Fentanyl. They opened the borders that let more of this death drug in.
I’ve been getting a lot of hits from China recently. If it is the government, history is not on your side. Stop the shit and enjoy your economic freedom before you cut your own throats. I don’t expect that to happen. I look for worse things.
If the readers are Chinese citizens, find a way to stop the CCP from ruining your country. That is your resolution. I’ll keep posting the truth
Personally, I talked about exercise above, but looking at everything skeptically and trying to protect myself and inform others will also continue.
My wish for others besides being saved is to wake up and stop believing what you are told. We formed a country by not putting up with this crap from people who think they are the ruling elite. We killed them to stop the shit that the current government is jamming down our throats. I can’t believe that people would be the sheep that they have been since 2020.
I’ll be more introverted, it happens in life. I’ve got other issues to work on, but I’ll still look for an escape before I go somewhere and size up the people in the room as to who is a threat.
I’ll fight woke also. That is as racist and discriminatory as anything. It’s get-evenism (I made that up). It’s a bullshit scheme to steal free money. I started the year by dropping Hulu because of Disney.
Why You Should Mind Your Own Business
Especially mine. I guess I’m getting grumpier, but then so is Clint Eastwood and he doesn’t catch any grief about it.
What The Uni-Party Is Doing To Us; Democrats=Rino’s
Our kids will pay the price for this reckless spending and behavior.
If It’s Really Good, It’s Porking Good
I used pork for the proverbial f-word back in the 60’s. It’s not new, but who ever labeled this was a genius. And gluten free!
This is an actual shot at my local grocery store.
Introvert Check List In A Loud World
Yes to all of these, especially at Christmas.
Competitive Eating Update, When Joey Chestnut Sharted His Pants
Nathan’s hot dog eating contest has been one of my favorite sports for years, since Kobayashi was king. My wife thinks it is one of the grossest competitions ever held, adding to my enjoyment.
I heard an interview with Joey Chestnut about taking a dump the next day after downing 70 hot dogs. I’ve wondered about that also.
What I didn’t know was that he’s done it while competing. Gross I know, but it didn’t stand in the way of him winning.
At least he’s honest about it.
How To Reply To An Ex
Or you could be like everyone else and just not talk to them because your life is better that way. I know mine is and there isn’t a one of them worth talking to, especially the one who turned into a traveling whore as a flight attendant for Delta.
High IQ Humor, Teacher Style
This would be me, but not because of science. I’d try to knock the end one off the swing.
Girls Lie Too, Size Doesn’t Matter
They can pass a baby there. Don’t tell me I’ve got something that’s going to top that.
If You Think Time Flies – Part II
Look a couple of posts below for part one. It goes by way too fast.
Some People Are Just Animals
Words Used Wrong, Wrongly, Wrongest, Wrongish…Whatever You Get The Point
This goes with the Public Speaking Words That Should Be Banned
What We See When You Use Filters On Your Selfies
High IQ Humor – Physics Style
You Think Time Flies? Read This
STD Warning You Can Live By Every Time
I was the only one of my friends not to get the clap growing up.
I Might Have To Spice Up My Own Funeral
I’m not dying that I know of, but if I was, this would be the last piece of sarcasm I’d leave behind.
Happy Thanksgiving, Exposing The Myth Of How The Pilgrims Really Dressed
Not like we learned or drew in grade school. Also, my hand turkeys were just that, turkeys. It’s why I wasn’t an artist.
Enjoy your day and be thankful for being in the country that has been the greatest in history for helping others.
Don’t forget that they were thankful that God spared enough of them so that we can be at the table today.
Fighting Your Blanket At Night
Add a dog and voila, cold feet or one side 10 degrees different than the other.
Translation, We Shot Him In the Dick
Polk County Sheriff’s deputies shot an arsonist his his manhood.
“We’ve changed the looks of his groin forever — if you know what I mean,” Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said at a press conference.
Luke Neely is facing a number of charges after he threw molotov cocktails at a house and then led police on a high speed chase. The chase ended near Dinosaur World when police opened fire.
Neely was found with a loaded AR-15 and a fully loaded handgun.
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He’s been charged with 3 counts of attempted first-degree murder, arson, 7 counts of firebombing and one count of resisting arrest. More charges from Hillsborough County are pending.
Neely is expected to survive his injuries, but is not expected to be able to procreate.
If I Was A Gardner, I’d Do This
I once timed a resignation to my birthday as a present to myself. I can be this childish though. My sense of humor allows it.
I Might Watch SNL For The First Time In Years
The snowflake SJW woke little crybabies in NY are so hurt by words that they won’t support one of the best comedians since Richard Pryor.
People that won’t do their jobs should be fired. Then hire un-woke funny writers.
I can’t take the woke crap and Trump bashing. If it were funny, I’d watch like I used to.
With these children gone for a week and Chapelle hosting, it has a chance of being good tonight.
For the rest of the staff, work or be fired.
More On The Gender Neutral Bathroom We Grew Up With
I would love to say that, or to the people at the bottom that they are at the dickhead.
I know I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old. It’s one of the better things about me.
Middle Age Summed Up, And Yes It’s True
1 and 2 yes.
3 no because I exercise a lot
4 includes medicine
5 been happening for decades
6 worn glasses forever it seems
7 and 8 are expected, but I’ve been in software a long time so no biggie other than what to do while it’s happening
9 Hell, I won’t make a Dr appointment that early and I’ve been up for a while
10 I keep wondering if I’ll break my day record for this every week
12 The one problem on the list I don’t have
Who Really Won The Elections Last Night
The politicians did, win or lose
Election losers like Stacy Abrams now has 6 million in the bank just for complaining a lot. Winners now can vote themselves more money and have to do what the Uni-Party tells them to do.
I give one bright hope to DeSantis who seems like someone who could actually lead something. He pulled Florida’s ass out of the storm better than any recent leader (heckuva job there on Katrina dubya). He gave a good victory speech that wasn’t sanctimonious.
Most disappointing were the people of Pennsylvania who cut of their nose to spite their faces by electing Fetterman. This is Biden 2.0 of being functionally impaired. That could be the new strategy though, put in a puppet you can control by pulling the strings.
So the losers were the people unless a split government gets nothing done. They’ve inflicted enough damage on us in the last 2 years. Them fighting cuts down on bills that just costs the people and the economy, and the welfare of our children.
The people that put the Covid restrictions on their sheep got re-elected so they aren’t smart in Michigan or NY either. They re-elected people who proved they couldn’t lead during a crisis (see DeSantis and Covid/Hurricane Ian)
It was a mixed bag of results that no one won except the politicians, even the ones that lost their races.
The Gender Neutral Bathroom
While this is a piece of modern art depicting the world as a cesspool, It is how I feel when I go to do laps after kids have been in the pool.
I fear the adults do it also as I know the competitive swimmers all admitted it.
Another Pennywise Warning, For Those Who Get It
Hat tip 90 Miles From Tyranny.
When You Are A True Hero To Girls, They Name A Street After You
Things To Remember As You Vote This November
All your personal freedoms taken away by people who partied, traveled, never wore masks, didn’t get jabbed because they had access to Ivermectin and Hydroxychloriquine and monoclonal anti-bodies, and you didn’t. They banned it remember.
This is what happens when they lie well enough to fool the weak minded.
Think 20 years from now because that is the decision for your kids you will be making tomorrow.
It’s time for a change. This group just lies and votes themselves the ability to be innocent.
Daylight Savings Time and Heart Disease/Strokes (And How I Avoid Health Problems)
I’m retired and do what I want. It saves the hate I had for getting up early. The getting an extra hour’s sleep was always good for me.
Another Wile E. Coyote Sighting
Stethoscope, Motorboat, What’s The Difference
Just let me listen a bit longer.
Engine starting, for those who get it.
More Marital Advice, See Me For Other Solutions
Don’t do this.
Or try to be tech support for your spouse.
A Guy’s Walk Of Shame
It’s a guy rule. You have to get all of the bags from car to house in one trip. Other stuff is seeing how far away the garage door opener will work from your house. If you can make a throw to the trashcan easily, you have to add difficulty to it like behind the back or use the other hand.
The list goes on.
Here Is A Weather Report With Information I Actually Need To Know – Introvert Style
I don’t really have social anxiety, I just don’t want to small talk and waste time. Hello is a perfectly good conversation.
I’ve seen people I like at the store and still went either to the next aisle, the other side of the store or just out. I’m not there to talk. I usually have music going in my ears anyway.
If I actually wanted to talk, I or the other person would have already texted.
The worst is chatty girls who talk to you like you were their girlfriend. If you understood men, you wouldn’t do this. We’d appreciate that more that a lot of things.
This is the opposite of a hall meeting at work. I didn’t always avoid them as you could get done in 5 minutes what normally took an hour out of your day. It’s the lesser of 2 evil’s if you have to see someone. Do it for the minimal time possible. I didn’t want to see them either, but this kept it to a minimum.
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?
Whatever you want, unless you can be Batman. Always be Batman.
Sarcasm 101, Happy Monday
I really mean it…
See If You Can Spot The Introvert
Stranded, Sittin’ On The Toilet Bowl
If any of you remember Weird Al Jankovic’s version of Branded.
I’ve had this happen to me in Europe. I was prepared, but others not so much.
Generation Z’s Claim To Fame As Arbiters of Emoji’s
Where do I start on this one.
I tried giving them credit for being an upgrade from millennials. I guess I was wrong.
From the Daily Mail:
Why NOBODY should be using the ‘thumbs up’ emoji in 2022 – and the 10 symbols only ‘old people’ use that have Gen Z rolling their eyes
- Gen Z sees the thumbs up emoji as rude or passive aggressive, they say
- The emoji is commonly used in casual and professional conversation
- People aged 35 and over are more likely to use the symbol but it is alienating
- Other emojis only used by ‘old people’ include ‘crying laughing’ and the heart
By Belinda Cleary For Daily Mail Australia
Sending a thumbs-up can be seen as passive aggressive and even confrontational, according to Gen Z who claim they feel attacked whenever it is used.
Whether the chat is informal, between friends or at work the icon appears to have a very different, ‘rude’ meaning for the younger generation.
A 24-year-old on Reddit summed up the Gen Z argument, saying it is best ‘never used in any situation’ as it is ‘hurtful’.
‘No one my age in the office does it, but the Gen X people always do it. Took me a bit to adjust and get [it] out of my head that it means they’re mad at me,’ he added.
They make you look old. I disagree. I think emoji’s are childish to begin with. I never use them on purpose just for that reason. I never saw them as anything but wasted time or unnecessary info on the text. An answer in emoji’s only is even more childish.
I have friends my senior age that do it, but I refuse. They sort of get it and have stopped it. They weren’t any good at it anyway. They were the thumbs up people
I recognize rest of them though. They mostly come from girls who are too old for this nonsense.
I could put an emoji on the end of this for sarcasm and irony, but I won’t.
Emoji’s are the small talk in texting that I hate in real life. It’s not necessary, ever.