I’m pretty sure this is true.
Double bonus here, it makes fun of vegetarians. No one is buying Beyond Meats as their stock is falling. I guess it tastes like it looks.
Lab-grown meat is often made using immortalized cell lines, which, unlike regular cells, are capable of continuously dividing and growing in a manner similar to cancer cells, according to Bloomberg. Companies developing lab-grown meats have largely remained silent about the connection between their product and cancer cells, possibly in a bid to keep consumers from getting skittish about their products.
Yes, we all do this
Yes, my inner 12 year old got let out again
It reminds me of the Pink Panther parody, dead ant, dead ant (sing it to the song)
From my childhood, being a Looney Tunes aficionado. The episode is called Bully for Bugs. Classic line, Stop steaming up my tail and of course, you know this means war.
I bet she’d want to write her name in the snow and on the wall too.
As for me, I can’t get them to fit as the hole is too small, but I imagine I could fit a dozen or so (only if I smashed them flat together)
This is how it is being a man. It’s much more than donuts. We hang towels also.
And this is how we do it, and stuff all guys know.
but first, you have to know the guy rules we knew when we were born
Another childhood book, like revenge of the tiger, but Claude Balls; Yellow River by I P Freely….there are hundreds of them
Hat tip to wirecutter.
I think her kids names are Beavis and Butt-head.
I hope everyone gets this
Oh yes, I could say it with a straight face, depending on the other person. I just texted my friend George that there were a lot of balls to juggle, instead balls in the air.
I still call them wiener’s if there is a chance the other person will feel uncomfortable.
Hat tip to wirecutter on this one. It was too good to not share.
Unfortunately, it was when the Storm troopers could shoot straight.
This one was a reach, but enjoy
You have to know Phil McCraken is a butt crack joke. Hiscock should have just changed his name
For all the names, here is your song that says them all. Seymour Butts, Jack N. Off, Stu Pedaso…their all in here
Again from Wirecutter.
I hate stuff like this. It’s like a picture that is crooked or one cord shorter than the other.
The jokes about eating write themselves now.
A lot of men have a name for their dicks. I’ve heard endless versions. Some are more creative than others.
Everyone copied theirs from someone else except my friend Mitchell. His was the Mighty Throbber.
I got this from Wirecutter at Knuckledraggin.
I couple of posts ago, I posted on pigs flying (our budget debt) as sarcasm.
This one beats that by a mile in the sarcasm column. I only wish I’d thought of it.
I think they are a bit too much. They all share the same trait we all know. It’s the first thing they tell you. I think it is the first rule of being one, you have to tell everyone as soon as you meet them.
They lose it if meat or eggs touches something of theirs, but no meat eaters are losing their shit over their dinner being touched by Tofu (we’ve already thrown it away if it makes it in the house). I thought that made them the maddest, until the funny meme above.
I can be hard on some groups, but the most I can say about the vegans is they are annoying. It’s another group with a passion in a strange direction in life. Most vegan groups through history died of malnutrition (or because of excessive annoyance) and their attempts at this trend usually die out.
Even the traveling whore (flight attendant with legs spread for all) I dated in college reappeared to tell me she is vegan. I didn’t need to know that she was any crazier than she already is. I already got rid of her once. Why reappear to tell me something this silly?
Were I a doctor, I’d prescribe bacon. Vegans make a bunch of fake stuff to look and taste like meat, why not enjoy the real thing.
I knew an Italian Dr with a bag and shoe fetish that only a Dr.’s salary could support. She said it was an addiction. I say it’s a waste of money.
It is for girls to show off to other girls. Guys don’t care about the bags, necklaces, rings or makeup.
She spent 10’s of thousands for other girls I guess. Other than being a good Dr, even her sister said her life was effed up.
I used pork for the proverbial f-word back in the 60’s. It’s not new, but who ever labeled this was a genius. And gluten free!
This is an actual shot at my local grocery store.
Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, the bat mobile lost a wheel and the commissioner broke his leg.
We 3 kings from Orient are, tried to smoke a rubber cigar. It was loaded it exploded that was the end of us.
I’m sure there were others.
Nathan’s hot dog eating contest has been one of my favorite sports for years, since Kobayashi was king. My wife thinks it is one of the grossest competitions ever held, adding to my enjoyment.
I heard an interview with Joey Chestnut about taking a dump the next day after downing 70 hot dogs. I’ve wondered about that also.
What I didn’t know was that he’s done it while competing. Gross I know, but it didn’t stand in the way of him winning.
At least he’s honest about it.
This would be me, but not because of science. I’d try to knock the end one off the swing.
They can pass a baby there. Don’t tell me I’ve got something that’s going to top that.
I was the only one of my friends not to get the clap growing up.
I’m not dying that I know of, but if I was, this would be the last piece of sarcasm I’d leave behind.
I once timed a resignation to my birthday as a present to myself. I can be this childish though. My sense of humor allows it.
Several beauty bloggers have taken to Instagram to post whether this was a trend to stay or a trend to say nay to.
And it’s not just one beauty blogger either, it’s several…
Yeah, I don’t think this one is for me, or will be a fad that takes off, but click the link to see the reactions.
The snowflake SJW woke little crybabies in NY are so hurt by words that they won’t support one of the best comedians since Richard Pryor.
People that won’t do their jobs should be fired. Then hire un-woke funny writers.
I can’t take the woke crap and Trump bashing. If it were funny, I’d watch like I used to.
With these children gone for a week and Chapelle hosting, it has a chance of being good tonight.
For the rest of the staff, work or be fired.
I would love to say that, or to the people at the bottom that they are at the dickhead.
I know I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old. It’s one of the better things about me.
1 and 2 yes.
3 no because I exercise a lot
4 includes medicine
5 been happening for decades
6 worn glasses forever it seems
7 and 8 are expected, but I’ve been in software a long time so no biggie other than what to do while it’s happening
9 Hell, I won’t make a Dr appointment that early and I’ve been up for a while
10 I keep wondering if I’ll break my day record for this every week
12 The one problem on the list I don’t have
A good cat fight, subject unnecessary.
Hat tip to wirecutter.
I’m retired and do what I want. It saves the hate I had for getting up early. The getting an extra hour’s sleep was always good for me.
It sounds like my son, even as an adult.
Kobayashi Maru anyone?
Just let me listen a bit longer.
Engine starting, for those who get it.
Don’t do this.
Or try to be tech support for your spouse.
It’s a guy rule. You have to get all of the bags from car to house in one trip. Other stuff is seeing how far away the garage door opener will work from your house. If you can make a throw to the trashcan easily, you have to add difficulty to it like behind the back or use the other hand.
The list goes on.
Take that bit of sarcasm and irony.
Whatever you want, unless you can be Batman. Always be Batman.
I really mean it…
If any of you remember Weird Al Jankovic’s version of Branded.
I’ve had this happen to me in Europe. I was prepared, but others not so much.
No, I’m this old
That’s right. DOS 1.0. I was a DOS giant before it was a thing. I was also a VisiCalc expert.
I worked with the guy that invented ctrl-alt-del. David Bradley, although at a different time.
That’s how old I am.
To be fair, telling me to calm down is lighting the fuse next to the explosive also.
I don’t know why I laughed when I saw this, but it was funny then so here you go.
Spell check catches a lot of my mistakes. I’ve noticed a trend recently when I write a word that I can’t find anywhere, so I started keeping a list. I’m sure that some of these should be words and I’ve used them in posts already.
Some may actually be words and I’m wrong about it, but I didn’t win the National Spelling Bee or grammar contest either.
Here’s my list so far. I’ll add to it as I make stuff up. I’ll take contributions if you have one and give you credit on the blog.
Christmasness – too much Christmas
Dickness – acting like a dick
Assholiness – speaks for itself
Incorrecter – more incorrect
Silenting – silencing someone
Frothily – frothy
Ender – the event that signals the end of something. That goal was the ender of the game.
Holify – translation of sanctify from the Greek, but we don’t have that word in english.
Sandwichable – things you can put in a sandwich, or a nice girl in a tight place
Introverting – avoiding people
Ineptocracy – Biden administration
Propagandish – sort of propaganda
Pussify – make less manly or more cowardly
Impartation – to take part of
Hero’d – being a hero at something, I’m super hero’d out I’ve seen it so many times
Jonesy – jonesing about something, I feel jonesy
Dumbassery – doing dumb things
Unintimidating – not intimidating
There aren’t a lot of us around that can do this. I wonder if they’ll lend a helping hand.
Because, it turns out that the jab can make you infertile or give you ED.
Pfizer’s mRNA Covid-19 Vaccine, in Fact, Cause an Astonishing Drop in Male Fertility
On June 22, 2022, Andrology published a bombshell study  – which did not even include the effects of additional booster injections – showed a staggering drop in male fertility, with an average decrease of 22.1% across the study group, from the initial injections alone.
The investigators studied participants for five months after they received Pfizer’s vaccine. At close to six months post-vaccination, sperm concentration, motility, and total motile count were all still in significant states of decline versus pre-vaccination levels. Sperm concentration had not recovered at all and was, in fact, at its lowest point yet.
Despite these alarming outcomes, the published study went on to encourage vaccination.
Alarmingly, men continue to receive incomprehensibly contradictory messages, being told to keep injecting the mRNA vaccines even when the study that contains these exhortations, clearly demonstrates adverse fertility results – for men.
Champion, Dick Champion
This is like me getting stuck looking (and laughing) at meme’s. Also me being a guy and being in my nothing box for hours.
I either do it now, or write it down. The option to that is forgetting.
Of course there is the golf joke about the guy who played a round with his buddies shouting and laughing. After the round as they headed to the parking lot, he told them at the end to not talk to him. When asked why, he said he’s told his wife he’s been deaf for 5 years and he didn’t want to spoil it.
It was every man’s fantasy. I was going to be in a den of women I’d never met and I’d never see again. They were there just for me during my time. It was something I needed to do before I die and did.
Here is the same story told from alternate points of view.
VERSION ONE, WITH THE SEX STUFF
I went there with a little anticipation. The whole thought of what I knew was going to happen set my nerves on fire. After all, even though I’ve been with many women, I’d never done this before. The first time for anything can be both a little unnerving and get you worked up simultaneously.
As I walked in, I was greeted by the first of the lovely ladies I would meet that day. She led me to where the whole thing was going to go down.
I had a seat and was told the ladies who would attend to my needs would come and welcome me to our private soiree. I saw that it was going to be two on one today.
While the tension was building, I had that tingling sensation between my legs, anticipating what was soon to happen.
In only a short time, I was ready to get started as Penelope and Kelly came out and took me to the back room. Their faces were hidden from me and I wondered if this was kinky or did they do this for everyone. Despite me being nervous, Penelope told me that they were experienced and there was nothing for me to worry about. She then told me to take off my clothes and lie back and enjoy what she’d done many times before. They even had my private bed clothes laid out for me to change into before we got down to business.
I have to admit, my heart began to race as I was going to be vulnerable at the hands of two women I’d only just met. Wanting to get on with it, I gladly laid down as they came over. The clothes didn’t fit as well as I wanted, but I figured that they would come off soon so it didn’t matter. I was far more interested in what they were about to do to me versus that what I looked like. I’d be looking at their faces between my legs anyway.
And so it began.
Penelope started first. There was a little small talk as she applied a generous amount of lubricant and reached up the sheet. It made it all the way to my manhood and it felt warm to the touch.
For 15 minutes, she went back and forth and up and down, slowly and sometimes stopping. She talked to me softly and told me everything she was going to do to me. Before she finished with me, she asked me if Kelly could join us. When I said yes, this is what I saw between my legs. Penelope guided Kelly’s hand to the same place and told her how to move it up and down then side to side. She made sure that no place was left untouched. I was watching 2 women’s hands doing their magic together.
Like all things, we finished and the girls left. I was alone to clean up, get dressed and be on my way, never to set eyes on either again. I knew this was probably a one time experience.
I walked away knowing a good thing happened. I didn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt nor did I think I’d cheated. I even paid for this and didn’t mind.
OK, HERE’S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.
I had to go to the hospital to get an ultrasound on my boys. They gave me an old gown to wear. The technicians had N-95 masks on as did I so I never saw their faces. One was the lead and the other was a student who needed instruction on where to move the ultrasound wand.
I was covered up the whole time and was uncomfortable given what was happening.
The other version sounded way more interesting to me than what really happened.
Follow me for other recipes.
I’ve finally learned not to stack buckets.
I know the jokes. 10 guys at work with one holding the sign and only one actually working.
Here’s another version from their side.
Or geometry, take your pick. Circle back when you get it.
I absolutely would do this. I’m just pissed I haven’t thought of it before.
The cashier could be male or female (still the only genders science can prove) and they will judge you by the size you pick. Think about that.
Hat tip to Wirecutter
Their similarity to my Dog’s turds would kill this one.
I’ll bet $100 that there is a stoned college kid who on a dare, or maybe just with a case of the munchies that is going to eye this one with care.