What Happens To Guys When It Gets Cold

Double bonus here, it makes fun of vegetarians. No one is buying Beyond Meats as their stock is falling. I guess it tastes like it looks.

Even the companies don’t know if their meat is safe to eat

Lab-grown meat is often made using immortalized cell lines, which, unlike regular cells, are capable of continuously dividing and growing in a manner similar to cancer cells, according to Bloomberg. Companies developing lab-grown meats have largely remained silent about the connection between their product and cancer cells, possibly in a bid to keep consumers from getting skittish about their products.

Dick Jokes, If Told By A Girl

I bet she’d want to write her name in the snow and on the wall too.

As for me, I can’t get them to fit as the hole is too small, but I imagine I could fit a dozen or so (only if I smashed them flat together)

This is how it is being a man. It’s much more than donuts. We hang towels also.

And this is how we do it, and stuff all guys know.

but first, you have to know the guy rules we knew when we were born

My Childish Humor Strikes Again

Oh yes, I could say it with a straight face, depending on the other person. I just texted my friend George that there were a lot of balls to juggle, instead balls in the air.

I still call them wiener’s if there is a chance the other person will feel uncomfortable.

Hat tip to wirecutter on this one. It was too good to not share.

Revenge Against Vegans

I think they are a bit too much. They all share the same trait we all know. It’s the first thing they tell you. I think it is the first rule of being one, you have to tell everyone as soon as you meet them.

They lose it if meat or eggs touches something of theirs, but no meat eaters are losing their shit over their dinner being touched by Tofu (we’ve already thrown it away if it makes it in the house). I thought that made them the maddest, until the funny meme above.

I can be hard on some groups, but the most I can say about the vegans is they are annoying. It’s another group with a passion in a strange direction in life. Most vegan groups through history died of malnutrition (or because of excessive annoyance) and their attempts at this trend usually die out.

Even the traveling whore (flight attendant with legs spread for all) I dated in college reappeared to tell me she is vegan. I didn’t need to know that she was any crazier than she already is. I already got rid of her once. Why reappear to tell me something this silly?

Were I a doctor, I’d prescribe bacon. Vegans make a bunch of fake stuff to look and taste like meat, why not enjoy the real thing.

When They Become Cannibals

I knew an Italian Dr with a bag and shoe fetish that only a Dr.’s salary could support. She said it was an addiction. I say it’s a waste of money.

It is for girls to show off to other girls. Guys don’t care about the bags, necklaces, rings or makeup.

She spent 10’s of thousands for other girls I guess. Other than being a good Dr, even her sister said her life was effed up.

Competitive Eating Update, When Joey Chestnut Sharted His Pants

Nathan’s hot dog eating contest has been one of my favorite sports for years, since Kobayashi was king. My wife thinks it is one of the grossest competitions ever held, adding to my enjoyment.

I heard an interview with Joey Chestnut about taking a dump the next day after downing 70 hot dogs. I’ve wondered about that also.

What I didn’t know was that he’s done it while competing. Gross I know, but it didn’t stand in the way of him winning.

At least he’s honest about it.

Nose Hair Extensions, They’ve Taken It Too Far This Time

Several beauty bloggers have taken to Instagram to post whether this was a trend to stay or a trend to say nay to.

And it’s not just one beauty blogger either, it’s several…

https://www.instagram.com/p/BadLJYHn1QC/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Yeah, I don’t think this one is for me, or will be a fad that takes off, but click the link to see the reactions.

I Might Watch SNL For The First Time In Years

The snowflake SJW woke little crybabies in NY are so hurt by words that they won’t support one of the best comedians since Richard Pryor.

People that won’t do their jobs should be fired. Then hire un-woke funny writers.

I can’t take the woke crap and Trump bashing. If it were funny, I’d watch like I used to.

With these children gone for a week and Chapelle hosting, it has a chance of being good tonight.

For the rest of the staff, work or be fired.

Middle Age Summed Up, And Yes It’s True

1 and 2 yes.

3 no because I exercise a lot

4 includes medicine

5 been happening for decades

6 worn glasses forever it seems

7 and 8 are expected, but I’ve been in software a long time so no biggie other than what to do while it’s happening

9 Hell, I won’t make a Dr appointment that early and I’ve been up for a while

10 I keep wondering if I’ll break my day record for this every week

11 frequently

12 The one problem on the list I don’t have

Words I Made Up

Spell check catches a lot of my mistakes. I’ve noticed a trend recently when I write a word that I can’t find anywhere, so I started keeping a list. I’m sure that some of these should be words and I’ve used them in posts already.

Some may actually be words and I’m wrong about it, but I didn’t win the National Spelling Bee or grammar contest either.

Here’s my list so far. I’ll add to it as I make stuff up. I’ll take contributions if you have one and give you credit on the blog.

Christmasness – too much Christmas

Commerciality

Dickness – acting like a dick

Assholiness – speaks for itself

Incorrecter – more incorrect

Silenting – silencing someone

Frothily – frothy

Ender – the event that signals the end of something. That goal was the ender of the game.

Holify – translation of sanctify from the Greek, but we don’t have that word in english.

Sandwichable – things you can put in a sandwich, or a nice girl in a tight place

Introverting – avoiding people

Libtardedness

Conservatardedness

Ineptocracy – Biden administration

Fuckedupness

Propagandish – sort of propaganda

Pussify – make less manly or more cowardly

Impartation – to take part of

Hero’d – being a hero at something, I’m super hero’d out I’ve seen it so many times

Jonesy – jonesing about something, I feel jonesy

Dumbassery – doing dumb things

Unintimidating – not intimidating

An Idea That Will Make Me A Millionaire, The Jabbed Males Are Becoming Infertile

hat tip Irish

There aren’t a lot of us around that can do this. I wonder if they’ll lend a helping hand.

Because, it turns out that the jab can make you infertile or give you ED.

Story here:

Pfizer’s “Vaccine” Causes Astonishing Drop in Male Fertility – Men Have Not Been Informed nor Given Their Consent

Excerpt:

Pfizer’s mRNA Covid-19 Vaccine, in Fact, Cause an Astonishing Drop in Male Fertility

On June 22, 2022, Andrology published a bombshell study [6] – which did not even include the effects of additional booster injections – showed a staggering drop in male fertility, with an average decrease of 22.1% across the study group, from the initial injections alone.

The investigators studied participants for five months after they received Pfizer’s vaccine. At close to six months post-vaccination, sperm concentration, motility, and total motile count were all still in significant states of decline versus pre-vaccination levels. Sperm concentration had not recovered at all and was, in fact, at its lowest point yet.

Despite these alarming outcomes, the published study went on to encourage vaccination.

Alarmingly, men continue to receive incomprehensibly contradictory messages, being told to keep injecting the mRNA vaccines even when the study that contains these exhortations, clearly demonstrates adverse fertility results – for men.

Two Completely Different Versions Of The Same Story – Proof That Sex Sells

It was every man’s fantasy. I was going to be in a den of women I’d never met and I’d never see again. They were there just for me during my time. It was something I needed to do before I die and did.

Here is the same story told from alternate points of view.

VERSION ONE, WITH THE SEX STUFF

I went there with a little anticipation. The whole thought of what I knew was going to happen set my nerves on fire. After all, even though I’ve been with many women, I’d never done this before. The first time for anything can be both a little unnerving and get you worked up simultaneously.

As I walked in, I was greeted by the first of the lovely ladies I would meet that day. She led me to where the whole thing was going to go down.

I had a seat and was told the ladies who would attend to my needs would come and welcome me to our private soiree. I saw that it was going to be two on one today.

While the tension was building, I had that tingling sensation between my legs, anticipating what was soon to happen.

In only a short time, I was ready to get started as Penelope and Kelly came out and took me to the back room. Their faces were hidden from me and I wondered if this was kinky or did they do this for everyone. Despite me being nervous, Penelope told me that they were experienced and there was nothing for me to worry about. She then told me to take off my clothes and lie back and enjoy what she’d done many times before. They even had my private bed clothes laid out for me to change into before we got down to business.

I have to admit, my heart began to race as I was going to be vulnerable at the hands of two women I’d only just met. Wanting to get on with it, I gladly laid down as they came over. The clothes didn’t fit as well as I wanted, but I figured that they would come off soon so it didn’t matter. I was far more interested in what they were about to do to me versus that what I looked like. I’d be looking at their faces between my legs anyway.

And so it began.

Penelope started first. There was a little small talk as she applied a generous amount of lubricant and reached up the sheet. It made it all the way to my manhood and it felt warm to the touch.

For 15 minutes, she went back and forth and up and down, slowly and sometimes stopping. She talked to me softly and told me everything she was going to do to me. Before she finished with me, she asked me if Kelly could join us. When I said yes, this is what I saw between my legs. Penelope guided Kelly’s hand to the same place and told her how to move it up and down then side to side. She made sure that no place was left untouched. I was watching 2 women’s hands doing their magic together.

Like all things, we finished and the girls left. I was alone to clean up, get dressed and be on my way, never to set eyes on either again. I knew this was probably a one time experience.

I walked away knowing a good thing happened. I didn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt nor did I think I’d cheated. I even paid for this and didn’t mind.

OK, HERE’S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

I had to go to the hospital to get an ultrasound on my boys. They gave me an old gown to wear. The technicians had N-95 masks on as did I so I never saw their faces. One was the lead and the other was a student who needed instruction on where to move the ultrasound wand.

I was covered up the whole time and was uncomfortable given what was happening.

The other version sounded way more interesting to me than what really happened.