Category: entertainment
Edith Wharton On Being Happy
“If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.”
Try dumping social media also. That makes everyone happier.
Why Top Gun Is A Success, And The Woke Are Offended
First, here’s the status of it’s success:
With a domestic take nearing $300 million after only ten days in release, Top Gun: Maverick continues to prove the obvious: moviegoers of all ages will show up in droves if you entertain and inspire us.
Per the far-left Deadline:
Moviegoers aren’t losing that loving feeling for Top Gun: Maverick this weekend as the movie is destined to become Tom Cruise’s top-grossing movie ever at the domestic box office with $273.6M. The 3x Oscar nominee’s previous high earning title was Steven Spielberg’s 2005 sci-fi title War of the Worlds at $234M.
Top Gun 2 is expected to beat War of the Worlds on Saturday; the Joseph Kosinski-directed sequel eyeing a second Friday of $20M, -61% against last Friday (+ previews) on its way to a 3-day of $68M, -46%. Some rival studios see it much higher, but again, it’s still early.
A second-weekend hold of just -46 percent [UPDATE: -32 percent] is extraordinary. Most blockbusters dip 60 percent or better. In other words, Top Gun: Maverick has real legs and is almost certainly benefiting from repeat business.
Leftists are already mad that a non-woke movie that doesn’t violate human nature with woke lectures, woke perversion, woke revisionism, and woke emasculation, is not only breaking records but being embraced by wingnuts like me.
Why People Love It
Look at that last paragraph. The world has woke fatigue. In war, it’s almost always men fighting, but that is the woketard’s biggest target. They hate the reality of who are hero’s and do the dirty work of war. It’s really a picture of reality.
We love a hero that swoops in to save the day. Throughout history, it’s not the woke who put their lives on the line, it’s guys with big balls, like Maverick.
It is indeed true that Top Gun: Maverick does not go out of its way to celebrate inclusion and diversity in the sometimes-cloying, corporate way most closely associated with various Disney properties.
Bingo! We don’t go to the movies to celebrate inclusion and diversity because inclusion and diversity are fucking stupid. We’re Americans. We don’t dwell on our differences, especially differences as shallow as skin color. Instead, we come together as one to get the job done.
Themes drive good movies. “Inclusion” and “diversity” are not themes. Instead, they’re buzzwords spouted by smug, over-educated, shallow bullies whose self-esteem is based on everything but character and integrity.
To prove my point, here are hero oriented movies, but change the character from male to anything.
Woke Movies That Failed
- Woke West Side Story: Flop
- Woke Eternals: Flop
- Woke In the Heights: Flop
- Woke Wonder Woman1984: Flop
- Woke Charlie’s Angels: Flop
- Woke Men In Black International: Flop
- Woke Birds of Prey: Flop
- Woke Ghostbusters 3: Flop
- Woke The 355: Flop.
- Woke Terminator Dark Fate: Flop
- Woke Oscars: flop
- Woke Netflix: Stock tanking
- Woke Groomers at Disney: Stock tanking
- Woke Star Wars: Doornail dead as a film franchise.
How many franchises, including Star Wars — woke has been so rejected it killed freakin’ Star Wars! — have to commit Woke Suicide before these morons smell the coffee? It’s Kathleen Kennedy who killed both Star Wars and is killing Marvel for the sake of not having men as hero’s and replacing them in the same story with woke losers.
But, as we all know, they smell the coffee just fine.
It’s admitting to what the coffee smells like that they don’t have the moral courage to admit.
It Looks Like I Finally Managed To Piss Off The Censors
I regularly post about the tragedy that is social media, how government mishandled Covid, that Gates and Fauci are power grabbing beta males and the worst sin of all, saying Covid came from Wuhan.
I have enjoyed posting the dangers of the jab, because meatheads I know can’t believe that I’ve proved it’s poison.
It turned out that I was both ahead of the curve on a lot of things
I predicted it would take it’s toll on my traffic and it did. I still get hits from China watching me properly place blame on their policies and human rights, but the big G search engine didn’t like it at all.
I also got banned by Facebook searches which regularly borrowed my memes. I detailed how to delete fake book many times and why you should do it.
All of that has cut me to about 10% of my usual traffic.
Now, ask me if I care? Why I don’t is that I write this for me. I get my thoughts out there in writing. Being introverted, I’d rather communicate that way rather than orally.
Will I stop? Not a chance. I’m having too much fun lampooning the mistakes.
Heck, the election season is not really in full swing. I can’t wait.
Euphemisms for Stupid
This is the first update in a while, but it was well worth it. If I missed one, please comment and I’ll include it.
If one of these offends you, take the complaints elsewhere, I’m the one that got dissed here.
A beer short of a six pack
A brick short of a load
A couple of eggs shy of a dozen
A couple of gallons short of a full tank
A few ants short of a picnic
A few beers short of a six-pack
A few bricks short of a pile
A few bricks short of a wall
A few cards short of a deck
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few feathers short of a whole duck
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
A few peas short of a casserole
A few tomatoes short of a good thick sauce
A few trucks short of a convoy
A fortune cookie short of a Chinese dinner
A pepperoni short of a pizza
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on
A sandwich short of a picnic
A train short of a full service?
About as bright as a burnt out 20 watt light bulb.
About as useful as a chocolate fireguard
Ah say, that boy reminds me of Paul Revere’s ride; a little light in the
belfry
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity
An intellect rivalled only by garden tools
As much use as a hedgehog in a condom factory
As much use as an ashtray on a motorcycle
As quick as a tortoise on Prozac
As smart as bait
As useful as a screen door on a submarine
As useful as a wooden frying pan
As useful as tits on a bull
Body by God, Mind by Mattel.
Bright as Alaska in December
Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
Could screw up a one car funeral
Doesn’t have both oars in the water
Doesn’t have all his corn flakes in one box
Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash
Doesn’t have all the dots on his dice
Donated his body to science before he was done using it
Dumb as a corn cob.
Dumb as a stump.
Dumber than a bag of hammers.
Dumber than a bag of rocks
Dumber than a lobotomized rock
Elevator don’t quiet make the top floor
Fell out of the family tree
Forgot to pay his brain bill
Goes surfing in Nebraska
Golf bag doesn’t have a full set of irons
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together
Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn’t watching
Gross ignoramus — 144 times worse than a normal ignoramus
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt
This is the one —> Has delusions of adequacy.
Has two brains, one’s lost and the other is out looking for it
Having an intelligence rivalled only by garden tools.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
He had a little too much chlorine in his gene pool.
He is so dumb, he would look for a wishbone in a soft-boiled egg.
He is so dumb, the only thing he ever read was an eye-chart.
He played too much without a helmet
He’s got a mind like a steel trap, rusted shut
He’s got a leak in his think-tank
He’s got a mind like a steel sieve
He’s got his feet firmly planted 3 feet above the ground
He’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer
He’s so dense light bends around him
He’s so dumb he couldn’t pour the water out of a boot if the instructions
were on the heel
His belt doesn’t go through all the loops
His cheese has slipped off his cracker
His porch light ain’t on
I say, that boy is about as sharp as a sack of wet mice
If brains were chocolate – he wouldn’t have enough to fill an M&M
If brains were dynamite – he wouldn’t have enough to blow his nose
If brains were dynamite, he wouldn’t have enough to blow his hat off
If brains were gasoline, he couldn’t ride a moped around a fruit loop
If brains were taxed, he’d get a rebate
If he had a brain, he’d be dangerous
If he had another brain, it would be lonely
If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week
If stupid were a talent, he would be considered gifted
If stupid could fly, you’d be a jet.
If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change back
If you stand close enough to him you can hear the ocean
Isn’t firing on all 6 cylinders
Isn’t firing on all thrusters
Its hard to believe that he beat out half a billion other sperm
If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ
Kangaroo loose in the top paddock
Like a pair of children’s scissors, bright and colorful, but not too sharp
Million dollar body and a 2 dollar engine.
Mind is in neutral, body is in gear
Mind like a rubber bear trap.
Needing a few screws tightened
Not firing with all spark plugs
Not the brightest light in the harbor
Not the brightest light on the Christmas tree
Not the sharpest hook in the tackle box.
Not the sharpest pencil in the box
Off his rocker
On/off switch is broken in the off position
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl
One neuron short of a synapse
One taco short of a combination plate
One turbine short of an airplane
One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests
Prime candidate for natural deselection
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
Requires directions to lay sod
Room temperature IQ
Running about a quart low
Running on empty
Sets the lowest possible goals, and consistently fails to achieve them.
Sharp as a bowling ball.
She is so dumb, she couldn’t tell which way an elevator was going if she
had two guesses.
She is so dumb, when I asked her to pass the plate, she said: “Upper or
lower?”
She’s not tied too tight to the pier
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled
Strong like bear, smart like tractor.
Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes
The elevator is stuck between floors.
The lights are flashing, the gate is down, but the train isn’t coming
The lights are on, but nobody is home.
The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead
Too dumb to pull his head in before he shuts the window
Too many yards between the goal posts
Two hub caps short of a Buick.
Warning – Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
Was left on the tilt-a-whirl too long as a baby
Would be out of her depth in a mud puddle.
Your the flower of my life (you blooming idiot)
You can’t call him an idiot, you’ll insult all the idiots in the world.
Your mouth is writing checks that your intellect cannot cash
Ah, Wedding Bouquet Toss Failure Again
If I plan it right, I’m gone way before this happens.
My Secret Power, If I Was Still Working
A lot of meetings suck and are just a dick measuring contest. I posted Why Meetings are a wasted of time and how to get out of them a while back.
I wanted to choke the shit out of a lot of people. Just click either work or IBM in the tag cloud to the right.
There are some people that deserve this and I’m the one that would deliver it to them, especially Sandy Carter, but that would be a long line to wait in.
There are some people I’d force choke their balls instead to end their tirades or whatever nonsense they were bringing to the table. They’ agree to my point a lot faster.
I’d use the Jedi mind trick to get people to do stuff also, like give me a raise or stop giving me a hard time.
Like a lot of things, it’s probably better for the world that I’m not a force wielder. There are too many dark side things that need doing to some people.
Since I don’t have the force, I have to settle for my usual super power.
Peeing In The Men’s Room, The Unwritten Rule We All Know
And, you if by chance you do break the next rule of look ahead and not at the other guy, you only are allowed to look each other in the eyes.
Guys learn this without being taught. No matter what socially/politically correct spew that comes out of their mouths outside the bathroom door, once you enter the rules are the same for everyone, everywhere.
If you are spatially aware (like a Seal or Spook), you go to the stall where you can’t get attacked from behind, but that is skill level 10 for dangerous people.
New Pets, Sort Of
I wrote about the death of a pet last fall hoping that Spring would bring this day for me. I was sorry to see Fred go.
In one week I have a new spider and will have baby birds that I get to watch. I noticed the sparrow on the ground gathering nest material in the field outside of my house. I wondered where the nest was, only to find later in the day that it was just outside of my kitchen window.
I named her Wilma after a little sister in my Fraternity. I don’t think she’d appreciate it, but the spider reminded me of her. Only later did I realize the Fred and Wilma Flintstones connection. Fred was named for a guy I know from the town that I moved away from recently, not Fred Flintstone.
Here is the sparrow’s nest from this morning, sorry for the blurry picture, I had to zoom it in a long way:
I don’t think I’ll name them as they fly away. The spider will stay with me until almost Thanksgiving and will provide me entertainment every night until then. I will love it when the baby birds hatch.
Some pets are less personal than others, but these will be interesting and part of nature I don’t always get to watch.
Get Woke, Go Broke, Disney Style
I don’t think they will go broke really, but the stock value is down 33% after incorrectly interpreting a Florida bill and picking sides against the family. They have branded themselves the enemy of good, and what 98% of families are made up of, the 2 genders that they were born as.
Half the Disney people will love them for doing this because that is how the country is. They are losing the good people though.
Walt would turn in his grave with how his company is being run.
2/22/22 Is On A Tuesday
Think about this at 2:22:22
Men, You Got To Get Your Girl One Of These Rings
Bring on the Karen’s and the feminist whiners about supposed misogyny to shoot hate darts at me. Wrong, you don’t know sarcasm and humor when it smacks you in the face.
I don’t want anymore trackers following me and reporting back to big tech. However……..There are a lot of girls that have been in and out of my life that if I’d have bought them one of these, a lot of people’s lives would have been a lot better. I don’t care about my heartbeat or how I slept, this isn’t why I’d buy one.
If I’d have known who was going to lose it in the office or anywhere else in my life, I’d invest in a box full of these gems. Just give them away on Valentines day and voila, you know when to hide or go play golf.
Come to think of it, there have been a few dudes from NY (Ed B I’m looking at you) that lost it way worse that most girls. I would have bought them one as a gift to me.
Is This a Mikaela Face Thing? Do They All Make It (At Least At The Olympics)
Separated At Birth?
Pencil Trick For Girls, Towel (Doughnut) Hanger For Guys
Hanging a towel on your junk is a joke that Jeff Foxworthy made about the side effects of Viagra. I learned about the pencil trick from off color office banter at some point in my working career.
They aren’t fooling me about what they are hanging doughnuts on. It’s below the belt humor.
People do this when they get bored. It is sophomoric, but funny to me as I have a 12 year old’s sense of humor.
My New Favorite Introvert Book
Once you can handle being alone, the rest of life isn’t a problem and you are free from the grips of other people ruining/ruling your life.
I am the president of the being alone club.
A Picture That Says How Old I am
Thanks Irish. I also used baseball cards that could probably be sold for hundreds of dollars had I kept them.
Yes, it had a banana seat, long handlebars and it’s how I learned to do wheelies. We rode everywhere and actually played outside.
My childhood wasn’t ruined by video games. Life was my video game and my metaverse.
Euphemisms For Farting
I posted Euphemisms for stupid a while back and it’s still pretty high on the search list. I was in the shower, where I do some of my best thinking and gathered some of these off the web. I have also posted on how much farts weigh.
No matter who you are, you fart. Most people think it’s funny. Old people don’t care and just let it go whenever. Guys have farting contests and remember the loudest, longest and smelliest ones. Girls say it’s gross in from of others, but let it rip when they are alone.
Everybody thinks it’s funny if someone famous gets caught.
It’s still a Covid test. If you can smell it, you don’t have Covid.
Enjoy
Air bagel
Air biscuit
Airbrush the boxers
Air tulip
Anal acoustics
Anal ‘ahem’
Anal audio
Anal exhale
Anal salute
Anal volcano
Anus applause
Answering the call of the wild burrito
back blast
Back draft
Back-end blowout
Backdoor breeze
Backdoor sneeze
Backfire
Bake an air biscuit
Baking brownies
Bark
Barking spider
Barn burner
Bean blower
Beef
Beefer
Beep your horn
Belch from behind
Belching clown
Benchwarmer
Better open a window
Blast
Blast the chair
Blat
Blow mud
Blow the big brown horn
Blue dart
Blurp
Blurt
Bomber
Boom-boom
Booty bomb
Booty cough
Bottom blast
Bottom burp
Booty belch
Break the sound barrier
Break wind
Breath of fresh air
Brown cloud
Brown dart
Brown haze
Brown horn brass band
Brown thunder
Bubbler
Bull snort
BUMsen burner
Bun shaker
Bung blast
Burning rubber
Burner
Burp out the wrong end
Bust ass
Buster
Butt bazooka
Butt bleat
Butt bongos
Butt burp
Butt cheek screech
Butt dumpling
Butt percussion
Butt sneeze
Butt trauma
Butt trumpet
Butt tuba
Butt wind
Butt yodeling
Buttock bassoon
Chair air
Cheek flapper
Cheek squeak
Cheeser
Cheesin’
Colon bowlin’
Colonic Calliope
Crack a rat
Crack concert
Crack one off
Crack splitters
Crap call
Crop dusting
Crowd killer
Cut a stinker
Cut one
Cut the cheese
Death breath
Deflating
Doing the one cheek sneak
Doing the two cheek sneak
Drifter
Drop a bomb
Droppin’ stink bombs
Duck call
Eggy
Emptying the tank
Exhume the dinner corpse
Exploding bottom
Exterminator
False pooper
Fanny beep
Fanny frog
Fart (of course)
Fecal fume
Fire a Stink torpedo
Fire in the hole
Firing the retro rocket
Fizzler
Flame thrower
Flamer
Flapper
Flatulate
Flatulence
Flatus
Flipper
Float an air biscuit
Floater
Floof
Fluffer
Fluffy
Fogger
Fog horn
Fog slicer
Fowl howl
Fragrant foof
Free jacuzzi
Freep
Free speech
Frump
Fumigating
Funky roller
Gas
Gas attack
Gas blaster
Gas master
Get out and walk Donald
Ghost turd
Gluteal maximus gas a mess
Gluteal tuba
Great brown cloud
Grundle rumble
Grunt
Gurgler
Heinie hiccup
Heinous Anus
Hisser
Hole flapper
Honk
Honker
Horton hears a poo
Hot wind
Hottie
Human hydrogen bomb
HUMrrhoids
Ignition
Insane in the methane
Inverted burb
Jet power
Jet propulsion
Jockey burner
Just calling your name
Just keeping warm
Kaboomer
Killing the canary
Lay an egg
Lean mean bean machine
Let each bean be heard
Let one fly
Let one go
Let one rip
Let the beans out
Lethal cloud
Let Polly out of jail
Make a stink
Mating call
Methane bomb
Methane dart
Methane mating call
Methane pain
Mexican (food) jet propulsion
Moon gas
Mouse on a motorcycle
Mud duck
Nasty cough
Nose death
Odor bubble
Odorama
One-gun salute
One-man band
One-man brass band
One-man salute
Orchestra practice
O-ring oboe
Painting the elevator
Paint peeler
Paint stainer
Panty burp
Parp
Parper
Party in your pants
Pass gas
Pass wind
Peter
Pewie
Pip
Playing the tuba
Playing the trouser tuba
Poof
Poof-poof
Poop gas
Poop gopher
Poot
Pootsa
Pop
Pop a fluffy
Pop tart
Power puff
Puffer
Puff the Magic Dragon
Putt-putt
Quack
Quaker
Raspberry
Rattler
Rebuilding the ozone layer
Rectal honk
Rectal shout
Rectal tremor
Rectal turbulence
Release a squeaker
Release the hounds
Rip one
Ripped the cheese
Ripper
Ripple
Roar from the rear
Roast the jockeys
Room clearer
Rump ripper
Rump roar
Saluting my shorts
Scud missle
Shoot the cannon
Silent and scentless
Silent but deadly
Silly cyanide
Singe the pants/chair/etc
Skunk bait
Slider
Sphincter siren
Sphincter song
Sphincter whistle
Spitter
Split the seam
Squeaker
Squeak one out
Stale wind
Steam-press your pants
Steamer
Step on a duck
Step on a frog
Stink bomb
Stink burger
Stink it up
Stinker
Stinky
Stinkmeaner
Tail wind
Taint tickle
Thunder from down under
Thurp
Toilet tune
Toot
Toot your own horn
Tootsie
Trouser cough
Trouser trumpet
Trunk bunk
Turd tremors
Turtle burp
Tushy tickler
Uncorked one
Uncorking
Under burp
Under thunder
Venting
Vent one
Wallop
Whiff
Whoopee
Whopper
Zinger
These came from Farthub
Want To Feel Old? Read This History
What sucks for me is all of this is younger than me except The Wizard Of Oz.
New Years Eve, How I Celebrate As An Introvert
First of all, this like Valentines Day are celebrations I call amateur night. People who make a huge deal of a day don’t know how to handle it and these are the ones that over do it. I avoid them and the carnage they bring on others from being too boisterous, not being sincere to who they really are to doing things like driving drunk and causing unnecessary harm to others.
To me, it’s just another day. Hopefully I’ll wake up tomorrow, and if I do, it will be the same as every other day. I can enjoy it for being the day that it is without having to heap any false hype on it.
I don’t recall being up at midnight in recent years because I’d rather sleep and feel better tomorrow. I gave up drinking a long time ago and will feel a lot better than the pretenders who think that they need to be the life of the party. I don’t have to put my hope of entertainment on an event that isn’t significant on 12:01.
Sure, some will call me a party-pooper, but then I’d have to care what others think of me, and I don’t. I’m not motivated by likes on social media either because I have a life lived on my terms. Not being defined by others has helped me not to be dependent on others for my happiness.
I don’t have any regrets for acting the fool because I overdid it the night before.
I hope others enjoy and do whatever it is that they are going to do. I don’t need the attention and am happier with my dog and a book.
Oh, I live with an extrovert. It doesn’t make her any happier, but I’ve been clear that you can’t make me extroverted because you are. She’s come to realize that tomorrow will happen just like today, yesterday and the day before.
No one will give a tinkers damn about New Years in a couple of days anyway, so I don’t today.
I don’t suffer from expectations not met, or hangovers that aren’t necessary.
Betty White To Turn 100, Older Than Sliced Bread
And of course, she can’t play lego’s anymore.
Wile E. Coyote ACME Update
Loony Tunes, still funny after all these years.
Merry Christmas – A Smattering Of Holiday Meme’s To Laugh At, Dripping With Sarcasm
With credits to Woosterman, 90 Miles, Knuckledraggin’ and others. Enjoy and have a Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays.
How To Argue When You Are Married
This funny because it’s true. It’s how I deal with it now. I don’t even bother to try and win anymore. He tells you why.
He pokes fun at our younger selves and when we learned to grow up. Real life here.
Wedding Bouquet VS Garter Belt Rules
courtesy of wirecutter.
I caught one once because the bride was hot. I got asked 3 times to be married and still held out for a decade until I was ready.
Blogs I Follow – Busted Knuckles
I’m not sure how I found Phil at Busted Knuckles. It may have been through the Feral Irishman or Knuckledraggin’ My Life Away. It may have been a link from someone pointing out his site. When he was changing platforms, a lot of blogs I follow pointed to the new URL to help him out. He’s a popular guy.
It doesn’t matter because it’s near the top of the list of blogs I look at in the morning. His mornings are a lot funnier than mine with his morning coffee and smokes, and really tough work hours.
It took me a while to figure out what he did, but I think he is a mechanic. A lot of his blog stuff doesn’t concern it other than going to work and them trying to screw him out of a job because of the jab. I am following closely to hope he beats the system and gets to keep working. He looks like a pretty talented worker and would be valuable to whoever picks him up.
What is great is that his tool collection/stuffed garage and how he can fix damn near everything is intriguing. His followers send him old tools that they don’t use, but he knows exactly how to use them/fix them if they are broken and tells tales about how he has used them on a job. No matter how much I bitch, no one sends me anything like that.
I find his car project, a Sprite to be funny also. He’s put months or years into fixing it and every drive is an adventure as to if it will make it home or where it’s gone. I saw him threaten to sell it after owning in as a project for years. I’ve been a car guy forever and love these stories.
Back to the Vaxx, he has done his homework on what it can do to you and I agree with his position many hundreds of percent. It is surprising given that he lives near Portland. That has become a hellhole (I had a daughter who lived there) and not known for people educated like him.
I’ll give him this, he is very generous with helping others, especially his family and I don’t know if they appreciate it enough.
Anyway, head on over and enjoy like I do.
In honor of him, I’ll end it like he does a lot, BFYTW.
Why My Generation Isn’t Easily Offended
Or This:
Or This:
In these skits are just about everything that the cancel culture is against. My friends and I still talk in code from the album, “Is it Something I said?”
These are some of the funniest skits and talents there have been. Too bad the snowflakes won’t be able to appreciate it.
Here’s one final shot at childish and sophomoric, yet humorous comedy:
I leave you with this. Who knows what, “yeah, and it’s deep too” means?
The New Paging Mike Hunt
At one job, one of the tech support guys spoofed the receptionist and she paged Mike Hunt across the entire warehouse. It was funny. All the guys got it, but only some of the girls.
It was childish, but it broke up the day. It also was very funny to me.
#LGB #FJB
Scenes At The Farmers Market
I like getting food from the local suppliers. It’s always fresher and taste better than from the commercial store.
Up where I am is a hippie type college town. I see a lot of people that are different than the usual man on the street. I’m ok with it as the food will be natural, meat will be grass fed and non GMO and the produce picked the day before. I keep to myself as usual.
Of course this week was the Halloween theme. It wasn’t too crazy, but I thought I’d share some pictures rather than my usual sarcasm. Don’t worry, I’ll get to that. Note, this is one of the few times that I’ll share pictures of myself. It’s a big step for an introvert who shy’s away from social media.
Anyway, here it is.
My Age, In Pictures
We played war in the streets, along with baseball, football and I drove those cars thousands of miles in the sandbox. We actually learned things rather than looking it up on a phone. Common sense was far more available to us than it is to the snowflakes.
The cars today are driving computers, but you can’t work on them yourself, you need to plug it in to tell you what is wrong. I miss the smooth sound of a V-12, or the deep throated sound of a V-8 in a pony car.
I’ll leave the girls alone other than it was a more genuine look, but our music was way better that what you hear today.
Covid Sarcasm – I Went To A Super Spreader Event Last Night
I was at the App State v Coastal Carolina game, probably the game of the week. There were over 31,000 super spreaders that Fauci warned us about.
I’ll report back if there is an outbreak here, but I doubt it. There have been games everywhere since August with little to no outbreaks or breakthroughs.
I guarantee you that there were both vaxxed and un-vaxxed at the game last night. Both have an equal chance at getting it like every other game we were told not to go to.
The game was won on the last play and the 14th ranked team went down in flames. The crowd spilled onto the field, certainly spreading Covid everywhere. Ha!
A good time was had by all, except Fauci, the CDC, NIH, WHO, Congress and Washington DC.
South Florida In One Gif
While I’m being sarcastic…..
When I lived there, this was the story almost every week. It was usually an 80+ year old grandmother who didn’t know how it happened. It got to where we weren’t even surprised, rather we’d just say, “well, there goes another one”.
They are the same drivers who get into the fast lane and go 5 MPH below the speed limit and don’t move. My friend called them nesters because they’d nest in the fast lane.
Death of a Pet
Well, not in the true sense. It’s more the death of a visitor.
I’ve had spiders that are outside of my house in the mountains. While my wife used to freak out when one got inside, she has become brave enough to dispose of them.
When I saw this guy up close how it caught the bugs, we became friends. I’d seen it before, but it was more personalized as this happened only inches away, separated by a pane of glass.
(Before thinking about writing this, I came upon this article about people killing spiders. By then, they have become a very interesting species to me so I’ve stopped any further massacre. I view them as an accomplice against real pests). The article said this:
Spider massacres like these are even more jarring when you consider that spiders and humans are not so different. Though our evolutionary paths diverged at least 530 million years ago, we share many of the same organs and body parts – such as kneecaps – and similar brain chemicals, from dopamine to adrenaline. No one has ever studied spider emotions directly, but it’s easy to imagine that they might be more relatable than you would think.
Equally, their brains are hardly heavy on their spider shoulders (or in their legs – there sometimes isn’t room for a full brain in a spider’s head), but there’s increasing evidence that some kinds are capable of remarkably complex intellectual feats, such as planning strategic detours to trick their prey. They may also have their own unique kind of intelligence, in which they’re able to use their webs to help them think.
I could have opened the window and cleared out the webs, but one of them came every night at sunset. I watched it grow to an impressive size (I don’t know if it was male or female yet until next year if there are any hatchlings).
I even named it Fred, after an acquaintance. That personalized it for me. It became familiar as I watched Jeopardy to have Fred come to the center of it’s web, and start the nightly hunt.
I looked up what kind of spider Fred was, and I think he was a orb weaver spider.
By morning he/she was gone. It hid up in a crack in the window.
It’s been getting colder where I live and I knew it would be time to lay eggs (if Fred is female) and die. I wanted him to last as long as possible
Earlier this week, I noticed that Fred didn’t come to pay a visit. I knew where it lived and finally checked the space yesterday and he was gone. I was even going to retrieve the body and bury it, but there was nothing.
I’ll clean out the webs now and see if a progeny shows up next year. Even if it is a female, it will likely be Fred Jr.
It was traumatic for me when I lost my 3 dogs, not so much for Fred. But, I was sorry to see him go, and that short time of the night when he appeared now has a hole in it.
Life goes on.
Blogs I Follow – Grouchy Old Cripple
It’s tough to stick your neck out in today’s cancel culture. It’s why I read who I read.
Denny, the author at GOC does just this. He isn’t afraid to call out the truth and say what is going on the way it should be said. If you are offended easily, don’t go there (actually please do for my entertainment). If you are PC or a SJW, you will be offended. You probably deserve it.
He is a clever writer (something I admire) and has a way with words. He breaks from stoic grammar with words that don’t exist like yannow (hope I spelled it right).
I started following him when he was pointed out by a lot of other blogs I read. I thought the name of his blog was funny as hell and so was his banter.
One of my favorites is AOTW (asshole of the week). I don’t think I’ve ever disagreed with him.
I discovered that he also suffered through working at IBM. He routinely roasts them with the truth about diversity, wokeness and other crap that is ruining a once great place. Since we worked about the same time there, albeit in different divisions, I can relate to what he says.
We texted through comments this week and he hammered them appropriately. I felt a kindred spirit. I was glad to find out I wasn’t alone and that I am glad I left when I did.
I wish him well and look forward to every next post, especially AOTW.
Captain Kirk Finally Gets to Go Into Real Space, The Final Frontier – But May Return Alone Or The Only One Alive
This morning, William Shatner will ride aboard Blue Origin at 90 years of age to be the oldest person ever in space. He missed being the first actor in space by a week as the Russians did that to shoot a movie.
Anyone who knows Star Trek fully gets that the red shirts are the ones who get it on away missions.
He isn’t the first Star Trek Alumni to go to space, just the first one that is alive. Some ashes of Scottie and Gene Roddenbery were sent up a few years back.
There is always the Who is the best Star Trek captain or best series. I am in the TOS camp. The rest use the TOS playbook, but with less daring, panache, creativeness and conquest. For Picard, Sisko, Janeway and Archer fans, they wouldn’t be Captains in the running if there wasn’t a Kirk, end of story.
Even in the movies, the best one is always the Wrath of Khan. It has the best villain, ironic ending and mano a mano story.
I have been a huge Trekkie all of my life. I was alive and watched it during it’s actual first run. When Chekov discovered the Botany Bay on Ceti-Alpha 5, I had goose bumps in the Theater.
The only thing that bothers me about this is that the Enterprise NCC-1701 was a cool ship. Blue Origin looks like a flying dick.
Anyway, live long and prosper.
All Winning Streaks Come To An End, Matt Amodio Finally Loses On Jeopardy
After setting the second longest winning streak at 38 games with winnings of over $1.5 million, it happened last night.
Matt Amodio finally lost. You could feel it happening as he kept missing. In a way, it was almost like he wanted to end it because he wasn’t ringing in and was wrong when he did.
He was a great champion and was good for the ratings and the game.
I’ve seen all the champions win and lose. It is usually the same, a perfect storm where they answer wrong, the categories are not in their strengths and another contestant gets hot. That happened last night.
He also missed final Jeopardy after being nearly perfect for weeks.
He will be back in the Tournament of Champions. I look forward to it as he was also likeable, which sometimes they are not.
I’m sure he helped the ratings as everyone follows a streak, whether you want the person to win or lose. I pulled for him because he had a huge range of knowledge and bet big. He employed the James Holzhauer strategy of playing, something that takes big balls to do.
The people that de-throne the champions usually only last a couple of games.
I watched before Ken Jennings had the 74 game winning streak 17 years ago and I’ll watch tonight. The reason is the same, I want to get more right than the contestants.
Here’s Who I’d Vote For In The Miss World Pageant
I can’t wait for the scripted cure the world and peace for mankind speeches from the girls who don’t want to be cancelled for saying the wrong thing.
Here is someone with a backbone that should really be awarded the crown, a person with integrity.
Friday Humor, Looney Tunes/Marvin The Martian Style
I loved all the Bugs Bunny cartoons. Marvin the Martian was his foil in a couple. That was when we didn’t have a cancel culture and weren’t afraid of making fun of things without being castrated on Social Media.
I saw every one of them as a kid. I saw every one of them as an adult and appreciated them even more. My kids know every time I reference an episode. It’s even better when they reference one to me.
Here is the illudiam Q-36 explosive space modulator, to blow up the Earth.
And some funny memes
Blogs I follow and Why – Don Surber
Now, why I follow him.
When I first started blogging in 2004, Glenn Reynolds or Instapundit was the the biggest game in town. I noticed that Don got a lot of attention by linking to him. I thought he was being contentious to gather a following, until I found out what he did for a living.
He was a reporter for a Newspaper in West Virginia, now retired. I won’t mention it because he’s said that he’s not all that fond of it.
What draws me to his writing is that it is good. It’s hard to write well. I can ramble on and take forever to make a point, but Surber gets to it with wit and pithiness that I admire.
I love his Highlights of the News and his commentary of it. I’ve read it for a long time now. He doesn’t pontificate, yet makes his point with the summary that he presents.
Hopefully, I’ll one day be able to get my style somewhere in the ballpark of Surber, but I doubt it.
I don’t expect him to mention or follow me. It doesn’t matter.
I was most happy for him when the greatest radio host of all time called him out last year. That is an accolade to take to your grave and I’m glad it happened to him.
Blogs I Follow – Knuckledraggin’ My Life Away
I decided to break from Covid vaccine bashing (I’ll be back, don’t worry) and give some shout outs to those who deserve it.
Ken the wirecutter writes this blog. You should go over there and donate because I think that is how he makes a living.
Why do I like it? I first started when I found your Florida report for the day. I’m originally from there and it is so true. I didn’t realize how many idiots were there until he pointed it out.
I like that he doesn’t care about offending anyone. One of his regular posts is shit I post on Facebook. I think it’s great that he tries to get banned. If you’ve read much of my blog, you already know how much I loathe fake book and happily got rid of my account. That he ties up their time to review the hilarious stuff he posts there kills me.
There are posts like, roast me, fucking Mondays, Friday gif dump and I’m sure she’s taken men that I look forward to. I went through the loss of his 2 dogs and now he’s left with Jack the asshole dog that found him with a broken tail.
His sarcasm, wit and creativeness is a breath of fresh air for me and I hope it is for you.
I linked to him in the posts that I follow and hope he links back as his audience is big. He also is in cahoots with other blogs I’m going to call out.
Keep it up Ken. I love your stuff.
Some Good News – Matt Amodio Ties James Holzhauer for 2nd Most Wins of All Time on Jeopardy
Almost everyone watches or has watched Jeopardy. I have for decades. It is the greatest game show ever. It is also one of the few that the Celebtards haven’t ruined yet because it doesn’t have anything to do with SJW and PC crap. I challenges your mind and memory. I love anything intellectually stimulating.
People play against the contestants from their living rooms. It happens without trying. You want to know how smart you are. There are a lot of strategies and when you think you know them, someone comes up with a new one, like James Holzhauer. I regularly beat the players, but I’m also good on the practice range in golf.
Every once in a while, someone goes on a run. Ken Jennings did 74 games in a row in the 2000’s. A couple of years ago, Holzhauer ran off 32 games and the top money scores of all times except for Jennings. He was about to overtake Ken in less than half the games due to his aggressive betting and incredible knowledge. He was a breath of fresh air. He turned the game upside down by going for the big money clues first, hunting for the Double Jeopardy clues and a willingness to risk a lot.
Last night, Matt Amodio, Ph.D student from Connecticut tied Holzhauer at 32 games in a row and is over a million dollars in winnings, the 3rd most (not counting tournaments of champions, Brad Rutter holds that record).
Tonight, October 1st, Matt could go into 2nd all time for games won. Nothing against James, but I want to see him keep winning.
Everyone loves a streak. In the movie Bull Durham, Kevin Costner told meat “a player on a streak has to respect the streak”. It becomes almost superstitious in baseball and I wonder how it will go for Matt.
It makes for great entertainment. It is the main reason we turn to sports or shows. Back to celebtards and sportstards, they ruin things like the NFL, NBA, WNBA, MBA and most movies and shows with PC crap.
The Jeopardy streak is about intellect, strategy and a little luck.
What is great about Matt is that he is a nice guy. He is respectful to the players past and present and keeps winning. He never says stupid things like “let’s make it a true daily double”. Instead, he bets everything in the Jeopardy round by saying his earnings. His knowledge and intellect is impressive.
He also says What’s (the question) instead of who when it is a person. I like that he has his own style. He has a great poker face on Final Jeopardy and you never know if he’s answered it correctly until it’s revealed. He currently is over 92% right on Final Jeopardy.
The reason I never could be on is that I am only about 30% on Final Jeopardy.
His betting has become aggressive like Holzhauer. I love big bets. It makes the game far more exciting. It separates champions from players or one or two day wonders.
The only regret I have is that Alex Trebeck isn’t there to share it. He made the game what it is.
Trebeck noted the different things about players and that champions are far more willing to bet big.
Sooner or later the streak will be over. It has been a great run. It usually happens when the champion misses a big bet and someone else gets lucky. That victor rarely lasts more than a couple of days. That is the luck part of the show. It’s usually bad luck that ends a streak.
Another ACME Wile E. Coyote Trap For Humans
I need one of these for the people trying to sell me stuff or for pretty much anyone who doesn’t text and let me know they are coming first.
Today’s Fashion Report
I figured a little sarcasm was in order after all the Covid/Vaxx ranting that’s been going on around here.
The Perfect Ad, No Words Needed
Some one other than me has a sophomoric sense of humor.
Random Funny Thoughts
I had amnesia once — or twice.
*****
Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
*****
I am neither for nor against apathy.
*****
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
*****
If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
*****
What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
*****
They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
*****
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
******
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
*****
One nice thing about egotists … they don’t talk about other people.
*****
My weight is perfect for my height … which varies.
*****
I used to be indecisive. Now, I’m not sure.
*****
The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.
*****
How can there be self-help groups
*****
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.
*****
Is it just me, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
Happy 917 Day – For Those Who Get It
This is Jo Siffert at Daytona in 1970 in a Gulf Porsche 917. Out of all of the versions of this dominating car, this was both my favorite and my first encounter with it. He was my favorite driver and died too young.
It was the first time I’d seen a car go over 200 MPH in person. I was young, so it was impressive.
I was already a Porschefile by this point, but that day cemented it home.
I’ve seen them race many times, but I was with my Dad that day and it still is memorable for me.
Later, the car was the star of the movie Le Mans. Steve McQueen was in the movie, the king of cool, but the car outshone him.
Some call it the greatest sports car ever, and for those of us who have seen it race, we understand why.
After all…..this is the greatest line ever in a car movie.
Crap, I Use Duolingo Too
I’ve been known to do this. I hope Pavlov just affects dogs.
Today’s Covid Humor, What I Did At Home
I’ve been content free, so enjoy the laugh and do the usual copy and post on your social media of choice.
The trikini and marriage stuff is funny. Some of the Covid stuff makes too much sense.
Some of it just makes you think.
Guy Stuff, Why We Aim When We Pee
If it can be aimed at, we give it a go. Piscuits are low hanging fruit. A moving bug is much more challenging. It also guarantee’s a mess, but we take the shot anyway. We also play peeing for distance and other childish games.
I’m sure girls think we are silly, but when a group of them were asked what they’d do if they had a dick, they said aim it when they piss. (guys said they’d feel their boobs if they had them and shoot milk at each other like a squirt gun, still a dick thing).
When there is a stain on the bowl, we won’t clean it if we can knock it off with a stream. Yes, we write whatever we can on the sidewalk and in the snow. The ones that say they don’t are lying, but a few do need their man card revoked. We don’t even have to be taught this trick. It’s instinctive to try it.
Why do we do it? Because we can. Sure, our equipment isn’t as pretty as females, but it is useful and a built in play toy. Why do you think we hold on to it so much?
Best of all, the whole world is our urinal if needed.
I even broke up with a girlfriend who got mad at me when I had to take a leak by the side of the road because she was worried what people would think of her. They wouldn’t ever look at her for laughing at me. I knew she wasn’t a keeper at that point. Every thing was a joke to me and she couldn’t take a joke. The woman I married knew how immature I can be and ignores it most of the time.
Another Wedding Bouquet Toss Fail
All it tells me is that it’s either a dumb custom, or scratch these girls off the list as potential mates.
This Is Going To Put a Dent in The Nathan’s July 4th Hot Dog Eating Contest
More specifically, researchers found that consuming one 85-gram serving of chicken wings translated to 3.3 minutes of life lost, owing to sodium and harmful trans fatty acids, while a beef hot dog on a bun resulted in some 36 minutes lost “largely due to the detrimental effect of processed meat,” study authors wrote.
Joey Chestnut is about dead. He knocked back 75 dogs this year to win the contest. He looks pretty healthy to me. Badlands Booker on the other hand better prepare his will.
The good news is that a PB&J sandwich adds 33 minutes to your life. I’m going to be about 3000 years old given that I’ve lived on it for 5 or more decades.
Ah, Men vs. Women, Here We Go Again – Humor Between the Sexes
I’ve posted a lot of stuff poking fun at both. Once, when partially serious I posted how and why we are different here.
When less serious about it, I posted how we see things differently, on how men and women see colors differently.
And now for today’s humor.
This Is Me If I Were A Doctor
Oh, I’d write a lot of other stuff too. Imagine if an ex came in or a celebtard whining about their $20 million Disney contract? No telling what I’d write, but it would be good.
I know doctors pride themselves on straight lines when operating. They told me.
Just like the anti-matter a few posts below, there are some things I should be banned from doing. This would be close to the top of the list.
And You Think Your Job Sucks and No, I Couldn’t Keep a Straight Face
Not a chance I wouldn’t play with these and laugh my ass off. I’d also be reported to HR within minutes for some inappropriate joke. It would be worth it.
I wonder if these ladies take work home with them?
I Love Student’s Creative Answers In Biology Class and Boobs
I posted Hell explained by an engineering student that was so creative the teacher gave him a top score. I still laugh at that one (right Teresa?)?
Now, there is this one on Mother’s milk. It’s almost as creative and funny as the engineer.
The teacher has a sense of humor. I have no idea what number 7 really is, but the answer is good enough for me. I thought he was going to mention play toys at first.
Describing Almost Every Movie In One Picture (1000 words)
With CGI and the video game culture of limited attention span, combined with the need to shoot everything that moves, there haven’t been great movies recently.
You have to tell a story, build up tension, explore a characters mind and motivation to become emotionally involved.
I don’t need to write the cliche because anyone who reads knows it’s true. You can’t cram the development of what is going on inside of your mind into 1-2 hours of someone else’s version of the story.
Besides, in the race to become the most “woke”, most of the protagonists are cast incorrectly.
Enjoy reading. It’s better than wasting time on fake book.
Stuff Only Older Guys Will Recognize
I built a million of these things. It was cars, planes, engines and more cars. I got model glue on everything.
Actually, I’m surprised that my brain isn’t mush from all the glue. This was before people were sniffing it to get high.
Most of the fun is in the building, then you just look at them until you built another.
I learned more about how to build an engine and how things work than today’s mush heads, who are killing monsters or shooting anything that moves.
I now see that I was alone for hours when building these guys. It is a trait that I recognize for life and embrace.
Breaking: A New Update On Euphemisms for Stupid (Bonus For Introverts, What to Say Is Handed To You Here)
By far, my most popular posts are What’s it like to have a high IQ and this one, Euphemisms for Stupid. For a decade, this post was #1 worldwide in Google on how to call someone stupid.
More people have re-used content on this post around the world than some marketing campaigns by Facebook, and that is where a lot of it wound up it seemed (and I still have a happy life after I fired them).
To honor that post, I updated it today (there are almost a hundred creative ways to say someone fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down or that they couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel) with this one:
Enjoy, and if you want to find out a way to say someone is stupid that you’ve never heard of, go get you some at the link above.
Men Name the Eye shadow Colors
It looks right to me. Men see colors differently anyway. Here is our color chart. As you can see, it’s not close.
Kim Kardashian’s Toilet
I’m not saying she has a big one, but(t)……..
Mark Twain: Never Argue With Stupid People….Hello Facebook, Twitter and Most of Social media
Also never get in their way when they are losing arguments and taking each other out. I find this on Quora a lot also. I already published Stupid things smart people do, although the title may be wrong about them being smart.
Origin of the Platypus
It’s funny to me because I’m doing some research for an upcoming book that starts around this time.
Obviously, the wife is an extrovert or they wouldn’t have to get to know other couples, but then there would be no Platypus today.
It Was Probably Me Who Did This
I’ve put socks in men’s pants (on a mannequin to make them look more manly.
Sock’s also look like #2 if they are brown. I’ve turned clothes around on displays and helped the hands move to places not unlike the picture.
I even waited around for the crowd approval as they walked by, not bothered by store security as they laughed.
Sometimes maturity is over-rated for laughs
New DeWalt Combo Air Nailer/Assault Rifle
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Washington thinks they are going to take away our guns, so check this out……..sales of this new product may skyrocket.
“IN GOD WE TRUST” |
Coming To Your Neighborhood Soon, China Covid Testing
First tested in China for our benefit.
Because This Was Me In My Younger Years – Six Arrested for Changing Hollywood Sign to Read ‘Hollyboob’
Oh yes, by the time Animal House was made, I’d already done everything in the movie except the horse.
When I saw this headline, my younger devious self joined with my older Celebtard loathing self and the headline was too good for me to pass up. Here’s the story:
Six people have been arrested after the iconic “Hollywood” sign was altered to spell “HOLLYBOOB.”
The group draped large tarps to the sign to change the letters, according to Sgt. Leonard Calderon of the Los Angeles Police Department’s Hollywood Station.
The letter “B” was draped over the “W,” while a white dash was placed across the “D” in order to make it appear as a “B.”
The Los Angeles Times reports that five men and one woman were seen on video surveillance altering the sign around 1:15 p.m. When An LAPD helicopter arrived at the scene, officers could see the group make their way back down the steep terrain toward the famed Mulholland Drive, where they made the arrests.
The incident cannot be classified as vandalism “because the sign wasn’t damaged,” Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) Capt. Steve Lurie, the Hollywood area commander said, per the outlet. The six will be charged with misdemeanor trespassing and released, he said.
According to Deadline, one of the arrestees told an officer the prank seems to have been an effort to create more awareness for breast cancer.
However, MTV reality star Julia Rose who was among the six arrested told DailyMail she orchestrated the LA-based stunt in protest over censorship, after her Instagram account, with five million followers, was suspended this year for nudity.
The 27 year old, who founded the website Shagmag, shared a photo of herself in front of the altered sign on Twitter, while flipping off the camera and sticking her tongue out.
“This was to show them that I still have a voice,” she told DailyMail.com. “My business for Shagmag with almost one million followers also got disabled this year due to nudity, but I’m not doing anything more than what Playboy is doing so I think they’re discriminating against my accounts.”
Police presence will be increased for several days and possibly weeks because of the incident.
Story Telling, Why The Marvel Movies Were So Successful
“It’s not enough to bash in heads. You’ve got to bash in minds.” Joss/Zack/Jed Whedon
There are really a lot of reasons it was successful, but being able to tell a story is what enthralls people. It doesn’t have to be Marvel really, it has to be a good story.
What they are referring to is anyone can make a fight scene, or imitate someone else in real life. This isn’t hard. Weaving the fight into the story arc is the art.
Not every story has a happy ending. Sometimes, a character has to die. In life, some sacrifices for the better good must be made. That could include you as the sacrifice.
It is also about hard choices that divide allegiances. It is a no win and usually a blurred line as to where the divide between right and wrong exists.
Telling the story that involves emotions is always better than just stating facts.
Delusions of Adequacy 