I’m not dying that I know of, but if I was, this would be the last piece of sarcasm I’d leave behind.
I once timed a resignation to my birthday as a present to myself. I can be this childish though. My sense of humor allows it.
Several beauty bloggers have taken to Instagram to post whether this was a trend to stay or a trend to say nay to.
And it’s not just one beauty blogger either, it’s several…
Yeah, I don’t think this one is for me, or will be a fad that takes off, but click the link to see the reactions.
The snowflake SJW woke little crybabies in NY are so hurt by words that they won’t support one of the best comedians since Richard Pryor.
People that won’t do their jobs should be fired. Then hire un-woke funny writers.
I can’t take the woke crap and Trump bashing. If it were funny, I’d watch like I used to.
With these children gone for a week and Chapelle hosting, it has a chance of being good tonight.
For the rest of the staff, work or be fired.
I thought they made up Antares and Rigel systems. Who knew they were real when I was a kid in the 60’s.
Check out how small the Sun is though.
Clearly missing here of course is Ceti Alpha 5 and 6. For Wrath Of Khan fans, you know what I’m referring to. The Botany Bay.
I would love to say that, or to the people at the bottom that they are at the dickhead.
I know I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old. It’s one of the better things about me.
1 and 2 yes.
3 no because I exercise a lot
4 includes medicine
5 been happening for decades
6 worn glasses forever it seems
7 and 8 are expected, but I’ve been in software a long time so no biggie other than what to do while it’s happening
9 Hell, I won’t make a Dr appointment that early and I’ve been up for a while
10 I keep wondering if I’ll break my day record for this every week
12 The one problem on the list I don’t have
While this is a piece of modern art depicting the world as a cesspool, It is how I feel when I go to do laps after kids have been in the pool.
I fear the adults do it also as I know the competitive swimmers all admitted it.
A good cat fight, subject unnecessary.
Hat tip to wirecutter.
Kobayashi Maru anyone?
Just let me listen a bit longer.
Engine starting, for those who get it.
Don’t do this.
Or try to be tech support for your spouse.
Take that bit of sarcasm and irony.
Whatever you want, unless you can be Batman. Always be Batman.
If any of you remember Weird Al Jankovic’s version of Branded.
I’ve had this happen to me in Europe. I was prepared, but others not so much.
Denny Wilson, aka Grouchy old Cripple passed away.
We worked together at IBM and crossed paths in the Blogoshpere.
Behind the scenes, we shared war stories about the assholes that ruined IBM as well as different assholes who are ruining America.
Publicly, he wrote very funny stuff and was right on about it.
He’ll be missed.
Saturdays were my favorite with him. His last Asshole of the week was President *.
To be fair, telling me to calm down is lighting the fuse next to the explosive also.
There aren’t a lot of us around that can do this. I wonder if they’ll lend a helping hand.
Because, it turns out that the jab can make you infertile or give you ED.
Pfizer’s mRNA Covid-19 Vaccine, in Fact, Cause an Astonishing Drop in Male Fertility
On June 22, 2022, Andrology published a bombshell study  – which did not even include the effects of additional booster injections – showed a staggering drop in male fertility, with an average decrease of 22.1% across the study group, from the initial injections alone.
The investigators studied participants for five months after they received Pfizer’s vaccine. At close to six months post-vaccination, sperm concentration, motility, and total motile count were all still in significant states of decline versus pre-vaccination levels. Sperm concentration had not recovered at all and was, in fact, at its lowest point yet.
Despite these alarming outcomes, the published study went on to encourage vaccination.
Alarmingly, men continue to receive incomprehensibly contradictory messages, being told to keep injecting the mRNA vaccines even when the study that contains these exhortations, clearly demonstrates adverse fertility results – for men.
It’s been going on for a while, but the conspiracy theorists have been right since about 2015.
Then came Covid and they used every childish behavior possible to shame us or in some cases force some into the jab.
Those of us who saw what was going on were never fooled, only biding our time.
You’d better start listening to what they have to say, before those in the title get their way. As Ironman said to Captain America…
YOU’RE NOT WRONG
FOIA Uncovers ATF and Legacy Media Working Together (thanks Wirecutter for this)
And of course, the UN is on top of the current lies with “We own the science” You own the conspiracy, the Science stands on it’s own.
It’s endless. I could add to this all day and never be done.
Champion, Dick Champion
But, I remembered I am stuck on Band-Aids because…..
However, I forgot why I was in a room twice yesterday.
Short shorts was a Godsend for a young hormonal man. Of course, childishness set in on sometimes you feel like a nut, which should have been next to number 8
This is like me getting stuck looking (and laughing) at meme’s. Also me being a guy and being in my nothing box for hours.
Bonus, both of them together courtesy of wirecutter.
I either do it now, or write it down. The option to that is forgetting.
It was every man’s fantasy. I was going to be in a den of women I’d never met and I’d never see again. They were there just for me during my time. It was something I needed to do before I die and did.
Here is the same story told from alternate points of view.
VERSION ONE, WITH THE SEX STUFF
I went there with a little anticipation. The whole thought of what I knew was going to happen set my nerves on fire. After all, even though I’ve been with many women, I’d never done this before. The first time for anything can be both a little unnerving and get you worked up simultaneously.
As I walked in, I was greeted by the first of the lovely ladies I would meet that day. She led me to where the whole thing was going to go down.
I had a seat and was told the ladies who would attend to my needs would come and welcome me to our private soiree. I saw that it was going to be two on one today.
While the tension was building, I had that tingling sensation between my legs, anticipating what was soon to happen.
In only a short time, I was ready to get started as Penelope and Kelly came out and took me to the back room. Their faces were hidden from me and I wondered if this was kinky or did they do this for everyone. Despite me being nervous, Penelope told me that they were experienced and there was nothing for me to worry about. She then told me to take off my clothes and lie back and enjoy what she’d done many times before. They even had my private bed clothes laid out for me to change into before we got down to business.
I have to admit, my heart began to race as I was going to be vulnerable at the hands of two women I’d only just met. Wanting to get on with it, I gladly laid down as they came over. The clothes didn’t fit as well as I wanted, but I figured that they would come off soon so it didn’t matter. I was far more interested in what they were about to do to me versus that what I looked like. I’d be looking at their faces between my legs anyway.
And so it began.
Penelope started first. There was a little small talk as she applied a generous amount of lubricant and reached up the sheet. It made it all the way to my manhood and it felt warm to the touch.
For 15 minutes, she went back and forth and up and down, slowly and sometimes stopping. She talked to me softly and told me everything she was going to do to me. Before she finished with me, she asked me if Kelly could join us. When I said yes, this is what I saw between my legs. Penelope guided Kelly’s hand to the same place and told her how to move it up and down then side to side. She made sure that no place was left untouched. I was watching 2 women’s hands doing their magic together.
Like all things, we finished and the girls left. I was alone to clean up, get dressed and be on my way, never to set eyes on either again. I knew this was probably a one time experience.
I walked away knowing a good thing happened. I didn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt nor did I think I’d cheated. I even paid for this and didn’t mind.
OK, HERE’S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.
I had to go to the hospital to get an ultrasound on my boys. They gave me an old gown to wear. The technicians had N-95 masks on as did I so I never saw their faces. One was the lead and the other was a student who needed instruction on where to move the ultrasound wand.
I was covered up the whole time and was uncomfortable given what was happening.
The other version sounded way more interesting to me than what really happened.
I’ve finally learned not to stack buckets.
You gotta admit, that’s pretty fricken’ high in that picture. It’s just like the price of gas, which is still way over $1 from just 2 years ago, when we were energy independent.
That reminds me of the song, Roll Me Up And Smoke Me When I Die, with both of these gentlemen singing. Enjoy.
Or geometry, take your pick. Circle back when you get it.
After reaching both puberty and achieving my drivers license, we drove around and made up games. It was sort of like video games in real life.
Everyone has been in a car and someone scores a target based on how many points you get if you open the door by driving and hit them, or just hit them with the car. Before you gasp, this was teenage boys showing off without ever following through. It garnered a good laugh and we always did the same. We drove past the target and counted the score based on who called it first. No lives were lost that I know of.
But here were the rules…..
Old People or disabled – no score as they moved slow and are too easy to hit
Mooning old people – extra points if they grab their heart and gasp (ok, we really did this one)
Young couples or families – a double score, but still low as the kids are like old people, slow and easy
Regular pedestrians – multiple score if you get more than one
All of these are walkers, and aren’t much of a challenge. For higher scores, move on to….
Bikers – A fairly high score as they are a moving target and satisfying if they are holding up traffic. This can only be scored with an open door as hitting with a car wouldn’t be a challenge. The faster the biker, the higher the points. Multiple bikers garners a multiple score, like a 7-10 split.
Motorcycles – A very high score as they are fast. A lower but more satisfying score if you open the door while stopped in traffic and catch one cutting between cars.
Animals -no score as you should lose points if you hurt one. They don’t know you are playing a game.
Practice – revving your car while stopped before someone crosses the sidewalk, then waving them to cross as you keep revving. The smart ones will just say no and not cross.
What’s next, tuna casserole? A sideways sloppy Joe?
Sure I’m immature and think that below the belt humor is funny. People have even stopped asking me if I’m ever going to grow up. I think this post re-confirms that.
For my Canadian friends, more of the same.
I guess this was Shakespeare’s version.
This is for the vax damaged and covidiots who are getting boosted. I’ve burnt out on Covid since the truth is coming out so posting has been light.
I’m looking for the next thing to discover what TPTB are doing to us, like the election coming up……maybe.
How much did the brain (brian) evolve?
I’ll never out do last year, but here goes.
“If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.”
Try dumping social media also. That makes everyone happier.
With a domestic take nearing $300 million after only ten days in release, Top Gun: Maverick continues to prove the obvious: moviegoers of all ages will show up in droves if you entertain and inspire us.
Per the far-left Deadline:
Moviegoers aren’t losing that loving feeling for Top Gun: Maverick this weekend as the movie is destined to become Tom Cruise’s top-grossing movie ever at the domestic box office with $273.6M. The 3x Oscar nominee’s previous high earning title was Steven Spielberg’s 2005 sci-fi title War of the Worlds at $234M.
Top Gun 2 is expected to beat War of the Worlds on Saturday; the Joseph Kosinski-directed sequel eyeing a second Friday of $20M, -61% against last Friday (+ previews) on its way to a 3-day of $68M, -46%. Some rival studios see it much higher, but again, it’s still early.
A second-weekend hold of just -46 percent [UPDATE: -32 percent] is extraordinary. Most blockbusters dip 60 percent or better. In other words, Top Gun: Maverick has real legs and is almost certainly benefiting from repeat business.
Leftists are already mad that a non-woke movie that doesn’t violate human nature with woke lectures, woke perversion, woke revisionism, and woke emasculation, is not only breaking records but being embraced by wingnuts like me.
Why People Love It
Look at that last paragraph. The world has woke fatigue. In war, it’s almost always men fighting, but that is the woketard’s biggest target. They hate the reality of who are hero’s and do the dirty work of war. It’s really a picture of reality.
We love a hero that swoops in to save the day. Throughout history, it’s not the woke who put their lives on the line, it’s guys with big balls, like Maverick.
It is indeed true that Top Gun: Maverick does not go out of its way to celebrate inclusion and diversity in the sometimes-cloying, corporate way most closely associated with various Disney properties.
Bingo! We don’t go to the movies to celebrate inclusion and diversity because inclusion and diversity are fucking stupid. We’re Americans. We don’t dwell on our differences, especially differences as shallow as skin color. Instead, we come together as one to get the job done.
Themes drive good movies. “Inclusion” and “diversity” are not themes. Instead, they’re buzzwords spouted by smug, over-educated, shallow bullies whose self-esteem is based on everything but character and integrity.
To prove my point, here are hero oriented movies, but change the character from male to anything.
Woke Movies That Failed
- Woke West Side Story: Flop
- Woke Eternals: Flop
- Woke In the Heights: Flop
- Woke Wonder Woman1984: Flop
- Woke Charlie’s Angels: Flop
- Woke Men In Black International: Flop
- Woke Birds of Prey: Flop
- Woke Ghostbusters 3: Flop
- Woke The 355: Flop.
- Woke Terminator Dark Fate: Flop
- Woke Oscars: flop
- Woke Netflix: Stock tanking
- Woke Groomers at Disney: Stock tanking
- Woke Star Wars: Doornail dead as a film franchise.
How many franchises, including Star Wars — woke has been so rejected it killed freakin’ Star Wars! — have to commit Woke Suicide before these morons smell the coffee? It’s Kathleen Kennedy who killed both Star Wars and is killing Marvel for the sake of not having men as hero’s and replacing them in the same story with woke losers.
But, as we all know, they smell the coffee just fine.
It’s admitting to what the coffee smells like that they don’t have the moral courage to admit.
I regularly post about the tragedy that is social media, how government mishandled Covid, that Gates and Fauci are power grabbing beta males and the worst sin of all, saying Covid came from Wuhan.
I have enjoyed posting the dangers of the jab, because meatheads I know can’t believe that I’ve proved it’s poison.
It turned out that I was both ahead of the curve on a lot of things
I predicted it would take it’s toll on my traffic and it did. I still get hits from China watching me properly place blame on their policies and human rights, but the big G search engine didn’t like it at all.
I also got banned by Facebook searches which regularly borrowed my memes. I detailed how to delete fake book many times and why you should do it.
All of that has cut me to about 10% of my usual traffic.
Now, ask me if I care? Why I don’t is that I write this for me. I get my thoughts out there in writing. Being introverted, I’d rather communicate that way rather than orally.
Will I stop? Not a chance. I’m having too much fun lampooning the mistakes.
Heck, the election season is not really in full swing. I can’t wait.
This is the first update in a while, but it was well worth it. If I missed one, please comment and I’ll include it.
If one of these offends you, take the complaints elsewhere, I’m the one that got dissed here.
A beer short of a six pack
A brick short of a load
A couple of eggs shy of a dozen
A couple of gallons short of a full tank
A few ants short of a picnic
A few beers short of a six-pack
A few bricks short of a pile
A few bricks short of a wall
A few cards short of a deck
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few feathers short of a whole duck
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
A few peas short of a casserole
A few tomatoes short of a good thick sauce
A few trucks short of a convoy
A fortune cookie short of a Chinese dinner
A pepperoni short of a pizza
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on
A sandwich short of a picnic
A train short of a full service?
About as bright as a burnt out 20 watt light bulb.
About as useful as a chocolate fireguard
Ah say, that boy reminds me of Paul Revere’s ride; a little light in the
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity
An intellect rivalled only by garden tools
As much use as a hedgehog in a condom factory
As much use as an ashtray on a motorcycle
As quick as a tortoise on Prozac
As smart as bait
As smart as Joe Biden
As useful as a screen door on a submarine
As useful as a wooden frying pan
As useful as tits on a bull
Body by God, Mind by Mattel.
Bright as Alaska in December
Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
Could screw up a one car funeral
Doesn’t have both oars in the water
Doesn’t have all his corn flakes in one box
Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash
Doesn’t have all the dots on his dice
Donated his body to science before he was done using it
Dumb as a corn cob.
Dumb as a stump.
Dumber than a bag of hammers.
Dumber than a bag of rocks
Dumber than a lobotomized rock
Elevator don’t quiet make the top floor
Fell out of the family tree
Forgot to pay his brain bill
Goes surfing in Nebraska
Golf bag doesn’t have a full set of irons
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together
Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn’t watching
Gross ignoramus — 144 times worse than a normal ignoramus
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt
This is the one —> Has delusions of adequacy.
Has two brains, one’s lost and the other is out looking for it
Having an intelligence rivalled only by garden tools.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
He had a little too much chlorine in his gene pool.
He is so dumb, he would look for a wishbone in a soft-boiled egg.
He is so dumb, the only thing he ever read was an eye-chart.
He played too much without a helmet
He’s got a mind like a steel trap, rusted shut
He’s got a leak in his think-tank
He’s got a mind like a steel sieve
He’s got his feet firmly planted 3 feet above the ground
He’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer
He’s so dense light bends around him
He’s so dumb he couldn’t pour the water out of a boot if the instructions
were on the heel
His belt doesn’t go through all the loops
His cheese has slipped off his cracker
His porch light ain’t on
I say, that boy is about as sharp as a sack of wet mice
If brains were chocolate – he wouldn’t have enough to fill an M&M
If brains were dynamite – he wouldn’t have enough to blow his nose
If brains were dynamite, he wouldn’t have enough to blow his hat off
If brains were gasoline, he couldn’t ride a moped around a fruit loop
If brains were taxed, he’d get a rebate
If he had a brain, he’d be dangerous
If he had another brain, it would be lonely
If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week
If stupid were a talent, he would be considered gifted
If stupid could fly, you’d be a jet.
If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change back
If you stand close enough to him you can hear the ocean
Isn’t firing on all 6 cylinders
Isn’t firing on all thrusters
Its hard to believe that he beat out half a billion other sperm
If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ
Kangaroo loose in the top paddock
Like a pair of children’s scissors, bright and colorful, but not too sharp
Million dollar body and a 2 dollar engine.
Mind is in neutral, body is in gear
Mind like a rubber bear trap.
Needing a few screws tightened
Not firing with all spark plugs
Not the brightest light in the harbor
Not the brightest light on the Christmas tree
Not the sharpest hook in the tackle box.
Not the sharpest pencil in the box
Off his rocker
On/off switch is broken in the off position
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl
One neuron short of a synapse
One taco short of a combination plate
One turbine short of an airplane
One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests
Prime candidate for natural deselection
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
Requires directions to lay sod
Room temperature IQ
Running about a quart low
Running on empty
Sets the lowest possible goals, and consistently fails to achieve them.
Sharp as a bowling ball.
She is so dumb, she couldn’t tell which way an elevator was going if she
had two guesses.
She is so dumb, when I asked her to pass the plate, she said: “Upper or
She’s not tied too tight to the pier
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled
Strong like bear, smart like tractor.
Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes
The elevator is stuck between floors.
The lights are flashing, the gate is down, but the train isn’t coming
The lights are on, but nobody is home.
The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead
Too dumb to pull his head in before he shuts the window
Too many yards between the goal posts
Two hub caps short of a Buick.
Warning – Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
Was left on the tilt-a-whirl too long as a baby
Would be out of her depth in a mud puddle.
Your the flower of my life (you blooming idiot)
You can’t call him an idiot, you’ll insult all the idiots in the world.
Your mouth is writing checks that your intellect cannot cash
If I plan it right, I’m gone way before this happens.
A lot of meetings suck and are just a dick measuring contest. I posted Why Meetings are a wasted of time and how to get out of them a while back.
I wanted to choke the shit out of a lot of people. Just click either work or IBM in the tag cloud to the right.
There are some people that deserve this and I’m the one that would deliver it to them, especially Sandy Carter, but that would be a long line to wait in.
There are some people I’d force choke their balls instead to end their tirades or whatever nonsense they were bringing to the table. They’ agree to my point a lot faster.
I’d use the Jedi mind trick to get people to do stuff also, like give me a raise or stop giving me a hard time.
Like a lot of things, it’s probably better for the world that I’m not a force wielder. There are too many dark side things that need doing to some people.
Since I don’t have the force, I have to settle for my usual super power.
And, you if by chance you do break the next rule of look ahead and not at the other guy, you only are allowed to look each other in the eyes.
Guys learn this without being taught. No matter what socially/politically correct spew that comes out of their mouths outside the bathroom door, once you enter the rules are the same for everyone, everywhere.
If you are spatially aware (like a Seal or Spook), you go to the stall where you can’t get attacked from behind, but that is skill level 10 for dangerous people.
I wrote about the death of a pet last fall hoping that Spring would bring this day for me. I was sorry to see Fred go.
In one week I have a new spider and will have baby birds that I get to watch. I noticed the sparrow on the ground gathering nest material in the field outside of my house. I wondered where the nest was, only to find later in the day that it was just outside of my kitchen window.
I named her Wilma after a little sister in my Fraternity. I don’t think she’d appreciate it, but the spider reminded me of her. Only later did I realize the Fred and Wilma Flintstones connection. Fred was named for a guy I know from the town that I moved away from recently, not Fred Flintstone.
Here is the sparrow’s nest from this morning, sorry for the blurry picture, I had to zoom it in a long way:
I don’t think I’ll name them as they fly away. The spider will stay with me until almost Thanksgiving and will provide me entertainment every night until then. I will love it when the baby birds hatch.
Some pets are less personal than others, but these will be interesting and part of nature I don’t always get to watch.
I don’t think they will go broke really, but the stock value is down 33% after incorrectly interpreting a Florida bill and picking sides against the family. They have branded themselves the enemy of good, and what 98% of families are made up of, the 2 genders that they were born as.
Half the Disney people will love them for doing this because that is how the country is. They are losing the good people though.
Walt would turn in his grave with how his company is being run.
Think about this at 2:22:22
Bring on the Karen’s and the feminist whiners about supposed misogyny to shoot hate darts at me. Wrong, you don’t know sarcasm and humor when it smacks you in the face.
I don’t want anymore trackers following me and reporting back to big tech. However……..There are a lot of girls that have been in and out of my life that if I’d have bought them one of these, a lot of people’s lives would have been a lot better. I don’t care about my heartbeat or how I slept, this isn’t why I’d buy one.
If I’d have known who was going to lose it in the office or anywhere else in my life, I’d invest in a box full of these gems. Just give them away on Valentines day and voila, you know when to hide or go play golf.
Come to think of it, there have been a few dudes from NY (Ed B I’m looking at you) that lost it way worse that most girls. I would have bought them one as a gift to me.
Hanging a towel on your junk is a joke that Jeff Foxworthy made about the side effects of Viagra. I learned about the pencil trick from off color office banter at some point in my working career.
They aren’t fooling me about what they are hanging doughnuts on. It’s below the belt humor.
People do this when they get bored. It is sophomoric, but funny to me as I have a 12 year old’s sense of humor.
Once you can handle being alone, the rest of life isn’t a problem and you are free from the grips of other people ruining/ruling your life.
I am the president of the being alone club.
Thanks Irish. I also used baseball cards that could probably be sold for hundreds of dollars had I kept them.
Yes, it had a banana seat, long handlebars and it’s how I learned to do wheelies. We rode everywhere and actually played outside.
My childhood wasn’t ruined by video games. Life was my video game and my metaverse.
I posted Euphemisms for stupid a while back and it’s still pretty high on the search list. I was in the shower, where I do some of my best thinking and gathered some of these off the web. I have also posted on how much farts weigh.
No matter who you are, you fart. Most people think it’s funny. Old people don’t care and just let it go whenever. Guys have farting contests and remember the loudest, longest and smelliest ones. Girls say it’s gross in from of others, but let it rip when they are alone.
Everybody thinks it’s funny if someone famous gets caught.
It’s still a Covid test. If you can smell it, you don’t have Covid.
Airbrush the boxers
Answering the call of the wild burrito
Bake an air biscuit
Beep your horn
Belch from behind
Better open a window
Blast the chair
Blow the big brown horn
Break the sound barrier
Breath of fresh air
Brown horn brass band
Burp out the wrong end
Butt cheek screech
Crack a rat
Crack one off
Cut a stinker
Cut the cheese
Doing the one cheek sneak
Doing the two cheek sneak
Drop a bomb
Droppin’ stink bombs
Emptying the tank
Exhume the dinner corpse
Fart (of course)
Fire a Stink torpedo
Fire in the hole
Firing the retro rocket
Float an air biscuit
Get out and walk Donald
Gluteal maximus gas a mess
Great brown cloud
Horton hears a poo
Human hydrogen bomb
Insane in the methane
Just calling your name
Just keeping warm
Killing the canary
Lay an egg
Lean mean bean machine
Let each bean be heard
Let one fly
Let one go
Let one rip
Let the beans out
Let Polly out of jail
Make a stink
Methane mating call
Mexican (food) jet propulsion
Mouse on a motorcycle
One-man brass band
Painting the elevator
Party in your pants
Playing the tuba
Playing the trouser tuba
Pop a fluffy
Puff the Magic Dragon
Rebuilding the ozone layer
Release a squeaker
Release the hounds
Ripped the cheese
Roar from the rear
Roast the jockeys
Saluting my shorts
Shoot the cannon
Silent and scentless
Silent but deadly
Singe the pants/chair/etc
Split the seam
Squeak one out
Steam-press your pants
Step on a duck
Step on a frog
Stink it up
Thunder from down under
Toot your own horn
These came from Farthub
What sucks for me is all of this is younger than me except The Wizard Of Oz.
First of all, this like Valentines Day are celebrations I call amateur night. People who make a huge deal of a day don’t know how to handle it and these are the ones that over do it. I avoid them and the carnage they bring on others from being too boisterous, not being sincere to who they really are to doing things like driving drunk and causing unnecessary harm to others.
To me, it’s just another day. Hopefully I’ll wake up tomorrow, and if I do, it will be the same as every other day. I can enjoy it for being the day that it is without having to heap any false hype on it.
I don’t recall being up at midnight in recent years because I’d rather sleep and feel better tomorrow. I gave up drinking a long time ago and will feel a lot better than the pretenders who think that they need to be the life of the party. I don’t have to put my hope of entertainment on an event that isn’t significant on 12:01.
Sure, some will call me a party-pooper, but then I’d have to care what others think of me, and I don’t. I’m not motivated by likes on social media either because I have a life lived on my terms. Not being defined by others has helped me not to be dependent on others for my happiness.
I don’t have any regrets for acting the fool because I overdid it the night before.
I hope others enjoy and do whatever it is that they are going to do. I don’t need the attention and am happier with my dog and a book.
Oh, I live with an extrovert. It doesn’t make her any happier, but I’ve been clear that you can’t make me extroverted because you are. She’s come to realize that tomorrow will happen just like today, yesterday and the day before.
No one will give a tinkers damn about New Years in a couple of days anyway, so I don’t today.
I don’t suffer from expectations not met, or hangovers that aren’t necessary.
And of course, she can’t play lego’s anymore.
Loony Tunes, still funny after all these years.
With credits to Woosterman, 90 Miles, Knuckledraggin’ and others. Enjoy and have a Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays.
This funny because it’s true. It’s how I deal with it now. I don’t even bother to try and win anymore. He tells you why.
He pokes fun at our younger selves and when we learned to grow up. Real life here.
courtesy of wirecutter.
I caught one once because the bride was hot. I got asked 3 times to be married and still held out for a decade until I was ready.
I’m not sure how I found Phil at Busted Knuckles. It may have been through the Feral Irishman or Knuckledraggin’ My Life Away. It may have been a link from someone pointing out his site. When he was changing platforms, a lot of blogs I follow pointed to the new URL to help him out. He’s a popular guy.
It doesn’t matter because it’s near the top of the list of blogs I look at in the morning. His mornings are a lot funnier than mine with his morning coffee and smokes, and really tough work hours.
It took me a while to figure out what he did, but I think he is a mechanic. A lot of his blog stuff doesn’t concern it other than going to work and them trying to screw him out of a job because of the jab. I am following closely to hope he beats the system and gets to keep working. He looks like a pretty talented worker and would be valuable to whoever picks him up.
What is great is that his tool collection/stuffed garage and how he can fix damn near everything is intriguing. His followers send him old tools that they don’t use, but he knows exactly how to use them/fix them if they are broken and tells tales about how he has used them on a job. No matter how much I bitch, no one sends me anything like that.
I find his car project, a Sprite to be funny also. He’s put months or years into fixing it and every drive is an adventure as to if it will make it home or where it’s gone. I saw him threaten to sell it after owning in as a project for years. I’ve been a car guy forever and love these stories.
Back to the Vaxx, he has done his homework on what it can do to you and I agree with his position many hundreds of percent. It is surprising given that he lives near Portland. That has become a hellhole (I had a daughter who lived there) and not known for people educated like him.
I’ll give him this, he is very generous with helping others, especially his family and I don’t know if they appreciate it enough.
In honor of him, I’ll end it like he does a lot, BFYTW.
In these skits are just about everything that the cancel culture is against. My friends and I still talk in code from the album, “Is it Something I said?”
These are some of the funniest skits and talents there have been. Too bad the snowflakes won’t be able to appreciate it.
Here’s one final shot at childish and sophomoric, yet humorous comedy:
I leave you with this. Who knows what, “yeah, and it’s deep too” means?
At one job, one of the tech support guys spoofed the receptionist and she paged Mike Hunt across the entire warehouse. It was funny. All the guys got it, but only some of the girls.
It was childish, but it broke up the day. It also was very funny to me.
I like getting food from the local suppliers. It’s always fresher and taste better than from the commercial store.
Up where I am is a hippie type college town. I see a lot of people that are different than the usual man on the street. I’m ok with it as the food will be natural, meat will be grass fed and non GMO and the produce picked the day before. I keep to myself as usual.
Of course this week was the Halloween theme. It wasn’t too crazy, but I thought I’d share some pictures rather than my usual sarcasm. Don’t worry, I’ll get to that. Note, this is one of the few times that I’ll share pictures of myself. It’s a big step for an introvert who shy’s away from social media.
Anyway, here it is.
We played war in the streets, along with baseball, football and I drove those cars thousands of miles in the sandbox. We actually learned things rather than looking it up on a phone. Common sense was far more available to us than it is to the snowflakes.
The cars today are driving computers, but you can’t work on them yourself, you need to plug it in to tell you what is wrong. I miss the smooth sound of a V-12, or the deep throated sound of a V-8 in a pony car.
I’ll leave the girls alone other than it was a more genuine look, but our music was way better that what you hear today.
I was at the App State v Coastal Carolina game, probably the game of the week. There were over 31,000 super spreaders that Fauci warned us about.
I’ll report back if there is an outbreak here, but I doubt it. There have been games everywhere since August with little to no outbreaks or breakthroughs.
I guarantee you that there were both vaxxed and un-vaxxed at the game last night. Both have an equal chance at getting it like every other game we were told not to go to.
The game was won on the last play and the 14th ranked team went down in flames. The crowd spilled onto the field, certainly spreading Covid everywhere. Ha!
A good time was had by all, except Fauci, the CDC, NIH, WHO, Congress and Washington DC.