Winter hit here up in the mountains. I’m lucky that I have 4 wheel drive on both my truck and my dog.
No one is going anywhere. It’s an introverts dream
In case you don’t get the title, it is a Jimmy Buffet song.
This funny because it’s true. It’s how I deal with it now. I don’t even bother to try and win anymore. He tells you why.
He pokes fun at our younger selves and when we learned to grow up. Real life here.
I’ve done Duo Lingo for over 1000 days in a row. It’s good for “older” people to challenge your mind, plus I get to speak and understand other than English. I get to poke the European’s in the eye a bit who claim that American’s only speak English (my wife’s family). Let’s not forget that we are a country of immigrants.
I also have a hard time not wanting to win everything I enter. I consider it a failure not to give it your 100%.
I’ve worked my way up to the diamond league and every week you compete against 29 other people. I’ve won 3 times, including last week.
I have a real hard time not competing. As Vince Lombardi once said, “If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?”
My screen name is Italian for my real name. I studied Italian, German, Latin, French, Spanish and Klingon last week.
I feel this way a lot of the time, not just Saturday. I hadn’t thought about doing the cough one, but I am now if someone doesn’t social distance or I can’t avoid them.
There are a lot of conversations I don’t start. As soon as I leave the house it’s on.
And this next one, I have way more conversations in my head than with others, even though it is about them. Just like the one above, it’s not worth it to talk to them, but way worth it to talk about them to me.
It’s why I don’t go to high school or college reunions. The people who are my friends and that I want to talk with, I do. If I don’t, this is the reason.
How I end 90% of my conversations, usually with one word…right, fine, good, ok.
When I give up trying because the other person just isn’t worth it (or all of my ex’s, I just wish I’d learned it in college).
My friend George loves picking his in the car. He has fat fingers and we call it rooting, like what pigs do for food.
It reminds me of the scene in Seinfeld when he was scratching his nose, but got busted as it looked like he was picking it.
Even funnier was in Caddyshack when they bet if the Smails kid would pick his nose, and then bet if he would eat it. I know it’s gross, but my humor is sophomoric.
courtesy of wirecutter.
I caught one once because the bride was hot. I got asked 3 times to be married and still held out for a decade until I was ready.
Because of my personality, being loyal was a trait that overrode protecting myself. I did a lot of stuff that while during it, was a terrible chore. I did my duty because I thought it was my responsibility. I gave myself completely to friendships when all of the effort was for naught. Afterwards, I frequently felt betrayed by others. They didn’t do any share of the relationship or a joint project.
This first happened to me at single digits of age and continued through my work career.
I recall the feeling of being betrayed by others and realized they were self-centered. I didn’t understand this concept and had to learn about it the hard way. I had extended myself only to have my minimal expectations (some sense of returned loyalty) ignored or rebuffed.
Being a pattern person, I recognized what was going on and finally started withdrawing my full commitment. This bothered me as I hate giving less than 100% to a friendship or a task, and it gave me no satisfaction. In fact I felt I was selling myself short. The outcome was predictable every time.
Finally, after realizing that guarding myself was more important than worrying about what others might think, I started saying no. I didn’t want to anymore. I didn’t want to go through what I knew would be a one sided effort that left me disappointed again and again. I was tired of being hurt or betrayed. Others do it easily without concern for anyone. I had to learn to say no.
This was tough to do at first, but I had to protect myself or life would continue to be tough on me. I was tough on myself more than others.
I found that there is some initial pain on both sides of the relationship, but mostly mine. It has saved me in the long run. I now don’t do a lot of things that I know are just not going to be worth it. I’m much more careful as to what I’m going to commit to, either in tasks or relationships.
I’ve found some peace once I realized that others don’t give a shit usually other than about themselves. They quickly forget about it and me. I don’t get over it near as quickly, feeling that I’ve let someone down, but it passes and I realize that I’ve prioritized myself rather than others because it was necessary. It’s not selfish, rather a means of self-protection for me.
Of course, I thought I “suffered” from Mauerbauertraurigheit, but then it became my friend and I’ve eliminated a lot of grief. I used to give and give until I was overwhelmed to the point that I completely withdrew and couldn’t control doing so. Now, I recognize it in advance and purposely do it when I know it’s not going to be worth it.
I weigh the benefit against the cost and don’t do a “duty” or what I perceive as an expectation. There is a price for my loyalty, it is at least some in return. Otherwise, you don’t see me anymore.
My Mom said that life is about overcoming obstacles, climbing mountains and clearing hurdles. You are either in a crisis, just finished with one or about to start another.
That’s why I’ve learned that when too many things are going good, then this:
I used to live in bliss and then get blindsided as to how things can go wrong. When I was dating, there were times that I had a different girl for every day of the week and said no to others. Not long after that, it seems that even the professionals wouldn’t take my money.
I’d have 3 job offers waiting for me while I loved the job I was at, or I hated my job and no one would even give me an interview.
Now, when I’m feeling on top of the world, I start to prepare for what might be around the corner.
It sounds pessimistic, but I’ve realized that my Mom was right. Just wait long enough and you’ll have a challenge to overcome.
It’s why I don’t bother even continuing the conversation with some people who want to challenge me just to prove they are right.
It just gives me another reason not to talk to people if I don’t have to. I love talking to the smart ones about deep topics, but there aren’t that many around.
I’ve written these down on Sunday’s, obviously from portions of sermons, but they have a lot to do with a meaningful life.
Don’t be rich in the world and poor towards God.
It is only by thinking clearly about the future that you will live wisely in the present.
You are not defined by your sin when forgiven.
God’s purposes doesn’t depend on our preferences.
Worry – placing faith in the worst outcome.
Finding a solution is different than solving the problem.
Some gifts are valuable because of the good they can do in the world. Others are valuable for the statement they make about the heart of the giver and worth of God for whom they are given.
Sometimes you miss the most obvious things because your heart isn’t tuned to it.
Thinking about Jesus doesn’t mean you know him or the bible.
If you look for Jesus he will show himself to you and give you life, peace and hope.
While I’m being sarcastic, if your family and friends bug you and you want some quiet holidays, this will help your Christmas be less stressful. Nothing gets to me as an Introvert like holidays and fake feelings, fake fun and people. Anytime I can tone it down, I will. It’s much easier to take that way. Why do people have to act different just because they are told to?
Pick either side, you don’t even have to believe in it. Pick Biden or Trump and say how bad or good they are. Don’t worry, you will piss someone off either way. Use woke subjects like BLM or LGBT2+WXYZ or whatever it is now and take sides (see what I did there? Some woke person just got mad).
I hate the false build up that comes with the holidays. They’ve expanded it to before Thanksgiving now. I went shopping today and the Christmas stuff is already out. SMH.
I’ve had multiple dogs over the years. They have all had different personalities and I loved them all, in different ways.
Barney was my first dog when I was a kid. I don’t have a picture, but he was part Boxer/part mutt. We got him from a friend of my Dad’s when he was going off to seminary and had to give him up. As far as I was concerned, he was always ours. He went to the beach with us on vacation and was part of the family.
Those were the pre-leash law days so he roamed the neighborhood on his own. He left his mark on the street with many little Barney’s and some pissed off neighbors. Dogs will be dogs. He was a car chaser and got hit. He recovered, but as Mom said, it took the spirit out of him.
When I got my S*** together in life, we got Conan. He was a rambunctious Golden. Through a breeding mistake, he got hip displaysia and only lasted 10 years. He was happy and had a good life. I learned how to train dogs and we bonded. As with all our dogs, I understood what he needed and took care of all his medical needs.
Bandit was my day pal. We picked her up from a breeder. I’ll be honest, we got a boxer because we wanted a smaller dog than Conan and a female, but we got a bundle of energy that was more than 3 Conan’s. As I think back, we got her because of Barney. They were the same color and size. She was fearless and friendly and loved everyone.
We named her Bandit from the dog in the Jonny Quest comics that I watched faithfully.
I was working at home by now. Being an introvert, I was happier being with her than people and she was by my side. We were together almost 15 years. It was almost like ET and Elliot. I knew what she needed intuitively. Where I went, she went. I took care of all her needs and she was my dog more than anyone in the family because of her.
I got her ashes, but couldn’t bear to bury them until I processed my feelings. I planted a dwarf Japanese Maple and she rests now forever there.
After taking a year off when Bandit finally left us, we decided to venture into the dog game again. I decided on a rescue and took my son to adopt another dog. He was with me when we got Bandit, but being so young, I picked Bandit from the litter to try and get the right one.
He helped me with picking out Boone. He noticed that out of all the dogs we looked at, he was the most gentile. While he looks lie a black lab, we later found out that he was part Boxer, so I guess that is a the theme in my life. He doesn’t have the energy that Bandit did, but neither do I anymore.
He is a great dog. Again he and I bonded more than anyone else in the family, even though he loves everyone and every other dog. Cats and deer, not so much.
My son was attached to Bandit and to Boone. When he went on his own, he got his own dog Raider. She is also colored like Bandit, but is a mix of a lot of breeds, a mutt. She is a great dog, but with a lot of energy. She is less friendly with other dogs, but loves Boone.
Without trying, I bonded with her also. She knows I’m an alpha and that I am the lead dog in the pack.
I know what they all have needed and what they like, it’s almost a sixth sense. I’m not a dog whisperer, rather through observation and empathy, we know we are together.
I love my dogs and they love me. When I have people problems, the dogs have always been there. I’ve been fortunate that they have all been good dogs.
Sometimes when life goes to shit, they are the only friends I have, at least it feels that way. They always by my side, without any pretension other than wanting to be with me.
We played war in the streets, along with baseball, football and I drove those cars thousands of miles in the sandbox. We actually learned things rather than looking it up on a phone. Common sense was far more available to us than it is to the snowflakes.
The cars today are driving computers, but you can’t work on them yourself, you need to plug it in to tell you what is wrong. I miss the smooth sound of a V-12, or the deep throated sound of a V-8 in a pony car.
I’ll leave the girls alone other than it was a more genuine look, but our music was way better that what you hear today.
I’m smart enough to never have listened to a song by her (that I’m aware of). The drugs affected John and her by then and there wasn’t much to listen to. He was better with the Beatles. She was never good.
It doesn’t affect me as much anymore because my age gets me up whenever it feels like it. I (for the most part) don’t have to get up for anything. I agreed with my golfing partner not to get up too early for a tee time next round. Not being rushed is a great thing at this point in life.
I don’t miss early meetings, e-mail road rage or having to get the kids ready for school. That is for young people.
Here is a guide on how to set each of your devices for DST. You’ve been warned if you click on it. You’ll get another dose of sarcasm.
I have relatives in Denmark. In my last visit, I got a lesson about how the Nordics were better because of Jante’s Law.
Jante’s Law describes a set of cultural norms common in Nordic countries emphasizing collective well-being and group accomplishments, and disapproval of touting individual victories.
The concept of the Law of Jante—Janteloven in Denmark, Jantelagen in Swedish, Jante laki in Finnish and Jantelögin in Icelandic—while it is simply a part of the cultural oxygen that everyone here breathes, was laid out in stark terms in a 1933 book called “A Fugitive Crosses His Tracks” written by Danish-Norwegian author Axel Sandemose.
In it, Sandemose satirically conjectures that Danes are so happy because their highest aspiration is to be average, and he mocks the fictionalized small town people from the village where he grew up.
People with low expectations always achieve them.
EUROPE’S FAVORITE SPORT
Of course we then got into the favorite sport of Europe. Some think it is Soccer/Football, but it really is America bashing. Wherever I go in Europe, that place is always better than in the USA, the food, the culture, the history or whatever. I get told this while they are wearing Levi’s, smoking Marlboro’s and drinking Coke. Because of Jante, life was better there.
When I’d had enough, I pointed out that there was this muslim problem in their country. They call them the new Danes. Those are the one’s not born there. They immigrated, but won’t assimilate, won’t speak the language (or if they do, not properly, the biggest sin to be discriminated against) and suck off the hind teat of social welfare. Since I pointed out the obvious, I got no push back.
PREDICTING THE BOW AND ARROW ATTACK
I got an earful about gun murders in the US and other problems we had. I was told how guns were outlawed in the Nordics so this wasn’t a problem in the hygge place.
I finally broke and said that human nature is not equal. Some are more naturally gifted intellectually, athletically and with more good or evil in their motivations.
My statement in 2016 was if you take away the guns, they’ll use a bow and arrow. If you take that away, they’ll use a knife. If you take that away, they’ll use a stick. People are not equal and that is behind America’s Exceptionalism. It’s also behind the hate of the attack yesterday.
I’ve never been popular with them, being the only real American they are related to. I decided to not make myself less popular, only because of respect for my wife and ended the conversation.
Within days, this happened in the UK, where guns are banned.
Human nature doesn’t change. Love and hate don’t change either.
OSLO—Several people were killed and others were injured by a man using a bow and arrows to carry out attacks in the Norwegian town of Kongsberg on Wednesday, local police said.
“The man has been apprehended … from the information we now have, this person carried out these actions alone,” police chief Oeyvind Aas told reporters.
“Several people have been injured and several are dead,” Aas said. He declined to comment on the number of casualties.
The attacker was a radicalized Dane who randomly shot at people. The reason will come out, but won’t be reported in the mainstream media (MSM).
I don’t think this guy was even a New Dane. The story says he was radicalized.
He randomly shot at people.
Look to the Gates of Vienna if you really want to find out what happened when it comes out.
I loved all the Bugs Bunny cartoons. Marvin the Martian was his foil in a couple. That was when we didn’t have a cancel culture and weren’t afraid of making fun of things without being castrated on Social Media.
I saw every one of them as a kid. I saw every one of them as an adult and appreciated them even more. My kids know every time I reference an episode. It’s even better when they reference one to me.
Here is the illudiam Q-36 explosive space modulator, to blow up the Earth.
And some funny memes
I absolutely did this a hundred times, then pelted everyone with them. It was when we played outside instead of in front of a screen.
This is Jo Siffert at Daytona in 1970 in a Gulf Porsche 917. Out of all of the versions of this dominating car, this was both my favorite and my first encounter with it. He was my favorite driver and died too young.
It was the first time I’d seen a car go over 200 MPH in person. I was young, so it was impressive.
I was already a Porschefile by this point, but that day cemented it home.
I’ve seen them race many times, but I was with my Dad that day and it still is memorable for me.
Later, the car was the star of the movie Le Mans. Steve McQueen was in the movie, the king of cool, but the car outshone him.
Some call it the greatest sports car ever, and for those of us who have seen it race, we understand why.
After all…..this is the greatest line ever in a car movie.
She’s a keeper, in the black dress
I’ve been content free, so enjoy the laugh and do the usual copy and post on your social media of choice.
The trikini and marriage stuff is funny. Some of the Covid stuff makes too much sense.
Some of it just makes you think.
If it can be aimed at, we give it a go. Piscuits are low hanging fruit. A moving bug is much more challenging. It also guarantee’s a mess, but we take the shot anyway. We also play peeing for distance and other childish games.
I’m sure girls think we are silly, but when a group of them were asked what they’d do if they had a dick, they said aim it when they piss. (guys said they’d feel their boobs if they had them and shoot milk at each other like a squirt gun, still a dick thing).
When there is a stain on the bowl, we won’t clean it if we can knock it off with a stream. Yes, we write whatever we can on the sidewalk and in the snow. The ones that say they don’t are lying, but a few do need their man card revoked. We don’t even have to be taught this trick. It’s instinctive to try it.
Why do we do it? Because we can. Sure, our equipment isn’t as pretty as females, but it is useful and a built in play toy. Why do you think we hold on to it so much?
Best of all, the whole world is our urinal if needed.
I even broke up with a girlfriend who got mad at me when I had to take a leak by the side of the road because she was worried what people would think of her. They wouldn’t ever look at her for laughing at me. I knew she wasn’t a keeper at that point. Every thing was a joke to me and she couldn’t take a joke. The woman I married knew how immature I can be and ignores it most of the time.
I start planning my escape the minute I hear that I can’t get out of an event. I just want to minimize the pain of small talk and social crap. This even if I like the people.
It has nothing to do with Covid. My social energy battery starts draining as soon as I hear I have to go.
I can spend endless time however one on one with someone that I can have a deep conversation with, or a dog.
My posting has been light as I’ve been moving. It’s almost over. After I get the final truckload into a temporary storage place today, I can finally relax.
This has been months of ass busting to get things ready, turning me into a carpenter, plumber, painter and a no paid laborer.
After that was going through everything I’ve collected, including family stuff dating back to at least 2nd grade. A flood of memories came over me as with each picture or item, I felt the same emotion from decades ago. I also felt the loss of those who were there and are gone now. Some of the memories hurt, some were better. I decided to tell myself that I should be happy that I got to have the memory rather than let it tug too hard at my heart strings, dragging me down.
I had to throw out half my life. Those who will have to clean up my mess when I’m gone should thank me for doing it now for them. I had to go through all of my parents stuff when they died, which took years as some stuff was legal and I had to hold onto it, until this move. The final stuff is now gone, save for a few pictures and mementos.
My life is going to go through another phase now. I thought I was going to live my life out in the last 2 houses, yet here I am in a temporary place until the next one is ready.
It was a lot easier moving when you are younger. You have less shit that you accumulate and no one else to answer to. Now it’s “do you need this or do we need to keep it”. I had a lot more energy then and I know what to expect now.
When you are young and don’t know what is around the corner, it is an adventure. I know every phase of moving, including what is next, and that most people I have to rely on will be late and not really care about me except as a paycheck
I threw or gave away many thousands of dollars of stuff. It won’t fit where I was going and I got tired of selling stuff so I donated most of it to those who need it more than I do. I hope it serves them well. I’m happy if someone less fortunate benefits.
So by Monday, I’ll be as back to normal as I’ve been in a long time. Man, I hope so.
Back to the memories and moving adventures, I realized how freaking old I’ve become. For the first time, it’s dawned on me that the future is no longer endless. As each of us contemplates eternity, I hope you have prepared your soul. It’s way more important than a legacy
Reality bites us all in some way or another. I’m living through that right now.
“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.”
I swear this is true. I’ve found that everyone has a story. Some people call it skeletons, but when you hear about their lives, it weaves together who they really are. Pretty soon, you have to decide if they are worth it.
There are generally patterns to people and they repeat them, almost predictably. The more you find out, the less you want to do with them, except certain activities you can stand to do together.
There are some that overlook a lot of stuff because they wish to be with someone. That’s why people flock to celebtards for example.
I had to deal with a lot of famous people in my life. After spending only a little time with them, I couldn’t wait to get away.
Fortunately, there are a few people who truly who have a list of qualities that are better than their bad ones. I hope you can find a few.
The rest are people who are people. They show themselves to be who they are. You just learn about it over time. You have to decide if you will be putting up with or they need to be eliminated from your life to avoid being poisoned.
Then there is Mauerbauertraurigheit, or pulling away from groups that just need cleansing from your life.
Finally, examine yourself. You probably are that person to others. I guess try not to be, but don’t fake it, be yourself. If you don’t belong, don’t. If one of you is not normal and it’s not the other person, it’s you.
There are a lot of jokes about extroverts adopting introverts and so forth, but the answer on really how to get to know one is less obvious to the world. It is clear as a bright sunshine day to introverts.
I know I have little patience for small talk. I don’t want to hear about surface level nonsense that is mostly irrelevant. It becomes a Facebook discussion on saying anything you can to get the most likes in the conversation.
That is a social rule that was written by extroverts because they are louder and dominate the discussions. When the yapping starts, I watch the introverts shutting down. It is mentally draining. It takes me days to recover from having to listen to this.
I’d rather just not talk and I don’t go to a lot of things just to not to have to hear it. I like the people, but the energy draining isn’t worth it.
On the other hand, if you want to talk about something meaningful, watch me open up. We don’t have to talk about derivative equations, but cut the shit and meaningless banter. I have a great depth of knowledge on many subjects and enjoy the conversation that is intellectually stimulating.
Fortunately, I am not bound by whether someone likes me for what I say or comply to. There are a lot of times I’m grateful that someone thinks I may be anti-social because I don’t want to listen to gossip. It’s usually a hate fest anyway.
I had an oncologist tell me that girls will tell other girls how good they look when it is awful, just so they will wear it and look bad. How effed up is that? They hate each other and I don’t want to hear about it.
So get to know me. That is two fold. Don’t gossip or try to keep the conversation going for the sake of talking. The other is try to go below the surface and show that you have thoughts about something sincere, really anything. Try pets for example. How tough is that?
I’ll do my part and even put up with the introductory small talk to get to know you, but if it doesn’t go past that very soon and you start repeating the same thing, or if it’s just trashing someone else, I’m out.
I develop Mauerbauertraurigheit (definition and discussion here) quickly and am gone.
There are times I can pee on 3 things at once and not one of them is in the bowl. Every guy has done it. Forget it if you have morning wood, that’s God’s joke on you.
I’ve written extensively about this, especially in Internet Road Rage. Go read it to see who these cowards are.
No matter what you do, someone has a beef (vegans will get me here, just another example) with whatever you say.
It used to be don’t talk politics, religion or something else at Thanksgiving or you’ll piss off someone in your family. Now, just like someone and you are one of Hillary’s deplorables (She gave the the best example, why I’m using politics here hoping to draw some ire from a commenter to prove my point. I could care less about her or her opinions other than it works).
Now, you can’t say anything on social media without someone being offended. I think it’s funny if they fall for it though because it just shows how shallow people are. Just go to Quora, hater (twitter) or Fakebook to find a large group of the clueless. That they are trying to censor people who don’t agree with them just shows bias and ignorance.
So, you can either be smart and blow off the idiots looking to be offended or trying to prove their point to the world, or just fall in line with the masses and get into it.
I look at the time out generation and think what a bunch of pussies they are. In reality, it is the parents fault.
I remember getting caught on a coral cliff at the beach and yelling for my Mom. She told me you got up there, you get yourself down. I got down and didn’t try that again.
These are the same complainers and cancel culture morons ruining our lives. They never had to grow up.
They complain on social media now and think someone cares.
I love my dog and put my hand on the ground to see if it is too hot. If so, we go to the backyard until it cools off.
They love you with everything they have. Do this for them
I retired and enjoyed the heck out of it. If you want to know what I did, go to about and about me.
I started planning for it when I was in my 30’s and knew it would be a long game to have enough. I listened to Larry Burkett of Crown Financial Services, a biblical based ministry that taught me to save and to live debt free. I posted about it a while back on how an average Joe can become a millionaire.
Was it hard?
You bet it was. There were a lot of sacrifices and a lot of learning about investing, managing money and faith in God. It turns out that we were blessed with an abundance of riches, only a small amount of which are financial.
We were alone.
Fortunately, my wife was on the same page. Heck, my Mom even taught me how to save as she lived through the depression. She could make anything last longer than possible. That woman sacrificed for us and I noticed. My siblings however never learned. Mom told me she taught each of us the same lessons, but said no one else listened to her.
I caught a lot of crap from my friends.
Working in the airline industry is very common for my family and friends. We have many pilots and flight attendants in that group.
One of them, with whom I went to school with since 7th grade, gave me a ton of grief when I was in my late 20’s. He was serving cokes for a living (flight attendant) and wasted 15 years of his life doing it. He was broke when he quit.
I spoke to him one Saturday when I was at work. He told me that he only worked 2 weeks a month and was off to Hawaii, rubbing it in my face that I had to work. When I hung up, I knew right then that I was making a short term sacrifice for long term gain. I would be retiring early while being financially safe and knew I would have to work hard. I said to myself that I would make it my goal and I’d be playing golf while he was working. He still is working today, and when he got to the real world I’d had 15 years of experience. I had owned my own business shortly after that conversation. FWIW, I played golf this week.
Did I get even with him?
I chose not to rub it in because the facts show our different outcomes. I’m glad I have mine.
Being an introvert, I don’t want to get into it anyway and he doesn’t want to talk much anymore. I don’t care what happens to others as I can’t control anything other than my destiny. I’m sorry he didn’t listen to me. He told me he resented that job for 13 of the 15 years he did it and hates his current job.
A theme and a pattern.
It wasn’t only my siblings and friends. When I sold my business and went to work for IBM, they were the same. When it came time for me to say goodbye, my house was paid off and we had saved. Almost no one could believe that I was pulling the plug that early. They thought it was some scandal that I had to quit and were very disappointed that the reason I retired was because I could. Most of them were keeping up with the Jones and didn’t save. I looked some of them up and they are still stuck working at the same job when I left.
At the end, IBM was a terrible place to work (see managing executive ego’s, the good, the bad and the ugly). I actually pulled the trigger a year early to get out of that hell hole. To a person, everyone said they wished that they could do what I did, get out. They were too far in debt to do so.
I turned down moving to New York to “climb the ladder” because living there sucks and I didn’t want to raise a family there. People told me when they moved to New York, they got to pay 30% more for everything, for less than I made. Again, I knew that I was making the right decision for my family not to go there to “get ahead” (behind would have been the actual case if I’d gone there).
Dad worked until he was 70. Work defined his life. He was lost when he retired.
Working was only a means to an end for me. To be fair, I was fortunate enough to be highly successful and God decided that I should be compensated for it. That helped make it happen, but if you go back to my siblings, they earned more than me at times. They still work though as most of it was wasted on useless stuff.
Dad couldn’t understand my goals, but I had so much going on that work was interfering with my life, so I stopped. I never regretted it.
A lot of the IBM’rs died shortly after retiring because they had to work a long time. I saw that and knew I wanted to enjoy my life. Now, every day is Saturday for me.
I have enjoyed each day these last 10 years. Heck, I’m the president of the how to enjoy your retirement club. Never once did I think about going back because I didn’t have to.
If there is any lesson, it is in the post of how to become a millionaire.
Short term sacrifice for long term paradise.
I got my ass beat a lot growing up. It was almost every day one summer. I’m pretty sure I earned and deserved every whack. I turned out just fine and respected my Dad even though he was the administrator of spanking.
When I look at the woke people, the cancel culture and the idiots on Twitter, Fake Book and other social media, I’m thankful for my upbringing. It scares the crap out of me that this group of ‘tards are about to run everything while a bunch of them still live in their parents basement.
The ones that made it out of the basement are bringing down the NBA, NFL, MLB and the rest of sports and entertainment (and life).
I also can get anywhere with only a map, write in cursive and can figure out how to fix just about anything without a search engine.
Ah yes, choices. They separate the wheat from the chaff.
My Mom told me that life is about having to climb mountains, a figure of speech for problems. Once you climb the top, there will be the next one.
We know the right choice and many times don’t pick it. Actions have consequences, choose wisely.
I built a million of these things. It was cars, planes, engines and more cars. I got model glue on everything.
Actually, I’m surprised that my brain isn’t mush from all the glue. This was before people were sniffing it to get high.
Most of the fun is in the building, then you just look at them until you built another.
I learned more about how to build an engine and how things work than today’s mush heads, who are killing monsters or shooting anything that moves.
I now see that I was alone for hours when building these guys. It is a trait that I recognize for life and embrace.
It looks right to me. Men see colors differently anyway. Here is our color chart. As you can see, it’s not close.
I wonder if this is going to offend hillbillies? I wonder if that name is a cultural appropriation? What if it is a racist name?
Fear not, I have a strain in my family as southern as turnip greens.
I shake my head as I’m making fun of woke people using hotdogs, and yet I think there might be someone ready to lead a revolution to protect hillbillies now from discrimination. On second thought, nah.
Oh, and Happy Memorial Day.
I read before the last Olympics that all of the athletes pee in the pool also, they admitted it.
Somebody get me some chlorine or the ocean.
Other than that, have a happy Memorial Day and try to remember those who paid the ultimate price for us to enjoy this day, and pee in the pool
This is stuff I laugh at because I know it applies to everyone, not just introverts. I just internalize more than most so I go through this when asked.
FWIW, I ask this about most other people at some point also.
My daughter had a simple nose piercing before she joined the real world. One day while teaching Sunday School, one of the toddlers asked her why she had a booger on her nose (it was a small diamond). Kids tell the truth. It didn’t look good, but what can a Dad tell a teenage daughter? You guessed it, nothing.
I talked to Doctors who told me this is a petri dish for bacteria. What happens in allergy season when your nose is constantly running? It is disgusting to think about.
Finally, I’m not in the dating pool. If I was, this would be on the list of red flags that would tip me off to not everything is going well upstairs. I don’t care what others do to their bodies as long as it doesn’t affect me. It doesn’t mean that I think it looks good or makes anyone more appealing. That affects me.
I try to protect myself from crazy people. Piercing your nose doesn’t make you crazy. It does give a hint that maybe not everything is working well in the decision part of the brain though.
Caveat: I have readers from countries that this is a tradition and perhaps a religious symbol. I get that it is a part of your life. However, are they are getting it done because they have to or are supposed to. I wonder who would do it if the mental pressure to do so wasn’t there?
I still ask myself how does one think that makes them look better? I move along and say nothing, but so far it hasn’t improved anyone’s appearance that I can tell.
Remember belly button piercings? No one is running out to get those anymore either.
Whatever blows wind up your skirt, Oink.
“My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.”
It’s always been difficult to be unpopular. We learn this lesson in school. No one wants to be an outcast.
With the dreaded social media and their censors against only certain people and certain words that they don’t agree with, the visibility of this subject has leapfrogged past logic, reason and congeniality. You say the wrong thing to the wrong person and your head gets bitten off.
First, you have to care if what people say about you bothers you. I don’t give a flying fig anymore because if they like me they do. If they don’t, what they say probably isn’t going to phase me.
The real hero’s and leaders are those who will stand up against the sheep and go the other way, or lead the sheep. Oh, you are going to piss some people off, but they were probably just there to try and get in your way.
The moral is don’t be a sheep. Fight (say to others, don’t hit them unless you are in Portland) for what you believe in and the hill you want to make your stand on.
Most of all, when you have made your decision, don’t let public opinion or popularity contests sway you. When you are right you are. If you are not sure, you probably aren’t.
Most people who get in your way are jealous or get their kicks by bringing others down instead of worrying about what they should be doing.
I hope that you find the real reason for Easter. It literally will decide the rest of your Immortal life.
I just put this up because it’s how I feel when I wake up and the dogs are already at full speed and I have to catch up to feed and get them out.
I post this to try and help someone who might listen. I paid attention as did a lot of people who didn’t wind up in poverty.
I’ve known others that didn’t make it. Without disclosing personal facts, you can just look at the graphic and know what happened to them.
I get that nothing is full proof, but this will help the majority I hope.
Happy Saturday. This is better than politics or Covid. Enjoy your day. I’ll be playing with my dog.
It doesn’t take many posts for you to see that I think Fake book and Twatter are the cesspools of the Internet. More hate is spilled there than Iran towards Israel and the USA.
I happily quit both. My life is better and while I didn’t waste a lot of time on them, it still was mostly useless.
I always hated those friend recommendations because I’m sure they were on the other side also. My rule was if you aren’t my friend then you aren’t worth being my fake book friend either. I happily forgot most of the people I grew up with and didn’t want to find them again, let alone reconnect.
It’s as bad as a phone call for an introvert without first warning that you are about to intrude on my life. There was an introvert on the team that invented texting to avoid that phone call.
When I saw this one, I realized that it was time to dump fake book. I also can’t stand that they are the arbiters of free speech and who is allowed on, so I made the decision for them. I don’t want to be in a place of hate or that has special rules for people who they don’t agree with personally, and went to other platforms that don’t suggest people I’d rather not see or hear from again in life.
Usually, one of the parties wants something different from the other one and the fun begins.
It’s not only in relationships, but I’m usually disappointed by people more than anything else. They are far more consistent at it than plans are in letting me down.
If you want to know the road ahead, ask someone who has been there.
Throughout my life, I’ve always asked people for what advice helped them the most, either good or bad. Sometimes, knowing what to avoid is just as, if not more helpful. I stumbled on this by accident when I realized that I didn’t know everything there was to know as an adolescent, even though I thought I did.
Not knowing the outcome is good if you don’t want to spoil a surprise. Knowing the right path in life to take is never a bad thing.
One thing I’ve learned is that most wise people have also learned that a lot of people don’t listen, so their knowledge remains with them because they are tired of offering to help, only to see it rebuffed or not taken. The same mistakes that experience already taught someone is then a lesson never learned or passed on.
It’s up to you. Ask what is the meaning of life, what helped the most, what is your biggest mistake, I have 2 paths in life to take but don’t know which to choose.
Behind the mountains are more mountains – unknown, but supposedly an old Haitian saying
My mom told me you are either facing a problem/hurdle, in the middle of it or have just overcome it. If you overcame it, there is always another mountain.
She also told me that we were made to overcome obstacles. We get the most satisfaction from solving and defeating them.
Don’t shy away. From Thinkr:
Will-strengthening obstacles are often the most painful, but the lessons they teach also go the deepest if we allow them to instruct us. To strengthen the will, we must always expect more difficult times to lie ahead.
OK, except in machine level coding, nothing is that binary. It does capture a good percentage of the people you encounter however.
People don’t change, they reveal themselves to you. I try to cull the temporary people as life has taught me that lesson.
I know some introverts. They have a lot to say and are very deep people. The problem is that the others talk over them a lot of the time. I watch the introverts just shut down at that point and a great story or deep conversation stops.
If you know someone like this, give them a chance. You might be surprised to find a loyal and interesting friend.
I just finished a conversation with a successfully retired executive. He told me the secret to retirement is to keep your life uncomplicated. These two are related.
If you do something really well are paid for it, you hit the lottery. If it is one of your 1000 things, you still are ok. If you are hating your job and don’t something you do well you might be a dumbass.
Life is too short to not enjoy what you are doing. Sure, we have to do things we don’t want to, but not all the time.
If you do this, your life will be a lot easier than swimming upstream doing something you don’t like and aren’t good at. There is nothing wrong with tenacity, as long as it is combined with intelligence.
The moral of the story is don’t be a dumbass.
Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light. – Madelline L’Engel
Some have to reach their rock bottom to recover from disease, broken heart, addiction or whatever the poison is. Everyone has a story.
Going through it, recovering or learning how to live with the darkness is when you grow. Admitting what is bothering you is a good first step, but we move on and deal with things our own way.
You sure appreciate how much you have when you think how little time you have to enjoy it. Choose light and not darkness.
What I do know is that dogs don’t live long enough for how much they love you.
I found this story and here are the highlights as well as the link to the study, but it’s not how we were told they age and it explains why.
- Three recent discoveries have changed scientists’ understanding of the nature of dogs.
- One study found that young puppies age much faster than young humans do, so the common rule of thumb that one “dog year” is equivalent to seven “human years” is wrong.
Dogs live an average of 12 years. Human life expectancy, by contrast, is at least five times that, which is why many people go by the common rule of thumb that one “dog year” is equivalent to seven “human years.”
But that one-to-seven ratio is wrong, researchers found — it’s a misunderstanding of how dogs’ aging processes compare to those of humans. Instead, according to a July study, genetic evidence suggests that Labrador puppies and other young dogs age faster than their older counterparts.
“What’s surprising is exactly how old a 1-year-old dog is — it’s like a 30-year-old human,” Trey Ideker, a co-author of that study, said in a press release.
Ultimately, in order to calculate your dog’s human-age equivalent, you’ll need a calculator. The researchers’ formula is: A dog’s human age = 16 ln * your dog’s age + 31. (The ln refers to the natural log of a number.)
“Don’t do what you want. Do what you don’t want. Do what you’re trained not to want. Do the things that scare you the most.” – Chuck Palahniuk, Author of “Fight Club”
The more difficult the struggle, the greater satisfaction from the accomplishment. That saying is from both my Mother and me.
No one gives a rats ass about a participation trophy. We want to win. To win you have to struggle, train, learn and fight for what you want. Look at what athletes do to attain victory. There is only one winner and second place is first loser.
There is only one CEO, but that person sacrificed along the way in time, travel and lack of attention to their family.
Dedication, training and commitment to any goal is necessary to achieve and succeed.
Overcoming what you are afraid of is and equal victory. The sense of satisfaction we get from beating our demons is as great for some as is winning a competition or succeeding in life. We were made to overcome obstacles in life and learn from that struggle.
Don’t give up or give in. Relish the sweet sense of victory or vanquishing what held you back.
Even if one tree falls down it wouldn’t affect the entire forest. Chen Shui-bian
Yes, the one we know is “If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it does it make a sound?”, but in a way the above one is more correct.
Of course it makes a sound, but unless it is a forest of one, it doesn’t affect the forest. The reason is that life goes on. We are all trees in the forest of life, but we are born, live and then die. Most are forgotten, but that is the way of life. What is it’s meaning and what is your contribution to society, family or….?
Here’s a quick test to see what you’ve done. Write your own obituary. You’ll see what you’ve contributed and what you have done.
Which brings me to my favorite Mensa joke. What is the meaning of life, give 3 examples. Those who understand it will get it.
“In truth, the degree of anyone’s success depends on how often they can say the word yes and hear the word no.” – unknown.
Many are afraid of what others will think if they divert from their principles and don’t give the real answer. It would save both parties a lot of time and angst if you would just be honest.
For Introverts, this is the best conversation. It cuts through the BS small talk about why you can or can’t do something and gives the appropriate answer. You’ll be respected for getting to the point quickly and will feel better about yourself for being honest.
Some, albeit a few might get their feelings hurt, but it will pass once they see you have done the right thing. Many will appreciate that you gave them a straight answer, even if it isn’t dressed up and decorated with flowers and bows before you dance around your answer.
Say it, Yes or No. Then move on to a deeper conversation.
All of life is peaks and valleys. Don’t let the peaks get too high and the valleys too low.
Wooden was perhaps the greatest college basketball coach ever. I think the fans at Duke, UNC and Kentucky may argue, but would still accept his legacy.
My mother told me something similar. Life is about overcoming problems. She said it is a series of hurdles that you have to overcome and there will always be another one.
One will always be on one of 3 sides of a situation. You will be approaching it, enduring it or having just overcome it. How you deal with it defines you.
With respect to Wooden, it does make life easier when you don’t go too overboard on any of the peaks and valleys. They all pass and there will always be another one.
“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.” – Joe Ancis
Some say there are skeleton’s in everyone’s closet. The way I say it is that everyone has a story.
When you meet someone, it’s like a job interview. They put on the best version of themselves. It’s kind of like a first date. They show you the best version of themselves and how good they are.
Once you know them, the warts begin to show. We let our guard down and you begin to see the real person.
Unless you go through this process and learn, you play a video in your head of who you think the other person is. It’s rarely right because you don’t know them or what they’ve been through, or what they are capable of doing (to you). That is why they seem normal. My rule is that most are not. Everyone has a story.
It’s why I usually don’t talk much about myself and just try to be the real me. The sooner you show who you really are, the quicker you can weed out the fakes you run into.
If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
Some people use the version of this that the glass is half full. Some are optimists, some are pessimists.
How you look at life (and your life) can certainly change your perspective and your attitude.
It’s your choice to be happy or miserable. Some are happiest when miserable, but I can’t change that.
When you are happy and count your blessings, others will feed off of that and you could change a life. Just remember who gave you your blessings.
Covid has changed our lives for good, and possibly/probably not for the better. Let’s take it by activity.
Here is some history. Flying used to be fun, economical and had good service. We used to like going on an airplane until some jag-off decided to try and light his shoe bomb on a plane. Then another tried to blow up his underwear. We now have to queue in a long line and I’m not all that sure that it’s stopped anyone other than the average Joe traveler. It hasn’t stopped the TSA from copping a feel on strangers. The food sucks now and isn’t free anymore. Flying is more like the line for enlistment (including your prostate exam by the TSA) than to get on a plane.
With Covid, we can now add a temperature check, face masks and the the fear of catching anything from being in a tube for hours with little to no service. The airports are petri dishes for bacteria.
Given the losses on travel companies and equipment manufacturers, it doesn’t bode well for the travel industry or the travelers.
Going to the office to work.
The requirement to be in person at work not as necessary as thought.
Before remote working, we had to be in the office or no one could be fully sure that you were earning your pay. Travel and working remotely eased that but there still are some bosses who didn’t trust their employees. I had one piss-ant manager named R. Gorman when I worked at Thinkpad who didn’t trust anyone. He sent a memo called rules of the road where you had to be in the office. All that got him was no trust or loyalty from the team. We were technologically equipped to work from anywhere and always did on business travel, but there still was some requirement to be in the office otherwise.
Employees want to be empowered to succeed. When that happens, they find ways to be creative and accomplish their goals. Conversely, when you treat them like school children, many will act that way. Just like with Ray, our productivity went down and the Ray jokes went up.
Now, no one can go in to work while we are socially distancing, and most jobs (non-manufacturing) are still getting done. It’s easy to reach anyone at anytime (too easy and too intrusive) but the oversight of said taskmasters is not needed. In a way, the people are now empowered and they still get the work done. This one could be a benefit of Covid.
The downside is that a lot of empty buildings will lose their real estate value as there is no need to be in the office with the exception of essential workers.
How it affects the home
For us introverts, I thought it would be a time that we could cancel and/or avoid engagements until Zoom invaded our lives. Now even virtual happy hours are like a meeting. I’ve noticed that it’s hard to get privacy when kids and dogs are in the room or yelling in the background. Spouses or parents have been caught parading nude in front of the camera by accident.
When you meet in person, it’s easier to read body language and have someones attention. I tend to drift during Zoom meetings and have multiple devices that I often look at. I’ve noticed that I’m not alone.
Trouble for Introverts
Normally, we would be in pig heaven not to have to go to the office. In addition to the invasiveness of Zoom/Skype, we are stuck in the house with extroverts who won’t leave us alone. It’s like being trapped in hell. You want the quiet and the peace you got when the extrovert was in the office, instead your personal space is invaded and you can’t escape.
The school model is now exposed, especially at college level. No more extortion for dorms when you can do 90% online. College professors are no longer as essential. Recorded classes, especially at the 100 and 200 level are adequate. Online testing and submitting required homework is routinely done online even well before this virus.
It turns out that colleges are a Breathtakingly overpriced product.
According to Mike Rowe: “They’re gonna’ find big thinkers with easily accessible ideas who are exponentially more interesting than professors, and soon, I hope, our obscene love affair with credentialing is going to stop, and we’re going to pause in every imaginable way, and look at what is essential – not just in workers or in work, but in education, in food, in fun. Everything is going to be forced through a different filter,” he said.
Colleges will also be exposed on their sports programs. Sports are a bank fund that pays for a lot of other school expenses and is a recruiting tool for enrollment. The schools will now have to rely on actual academics as a draw for students instead of March Madness or Bowl season. Maybe the students will now get an education instead of an indoctrination to Marxism.
Conversely, this is a big positive as the cost of education has the opportunity to go down (but so far the colleges are still extorting the same ransom from parents). Room and board are a large part of the cost of an education. Combine that with the lack of a requirement for many classrooms and there is the road to cutting costs.
It is not in the best interest of the Major institutions to charge less, but the cat is out of the bag that you can get almost as much done online. I hope that the masses will overcome and help this opportunity for cost cutting.
For elementary, middle and high school, I think it will hurt our youth. There is a need for hands on in basic learning and kids have the attention span of gnats. Sometimes you need to snatch their asses back to attention when it’s learning time.
New paradigm for getting essential needs like groceries.
Essential services like cancer, emergency rooms are same, but will change. Non-essential Dr. visits are now handled over the phone or via video. Dr.’s can now dedicate more of their time to real emergencies or necessary in-person visits. A person using the Emergency Room for healthcare because they don’t have insurance is going to go way down.
There is no downtime for paperwork and other overhead that comes with any job, but that got handled off-line mostly anyway.
Rely on technology more, but the risk is that you can take down a society like the virus did. Beware of hackers though, where there is opportunity, there will be bad guys looking to make your day worse.
Groceries have taken a turn for the better/worse/something different. Now that we went through the great toilet paper shortage and people have enough to wipe their asses for the next 5 years. They can realize that a little planning can condense 5 shopping trips into one, or one delivery or pickup.
A lot converts have been made for grocery delivery. There are a few kinks that need to be worked out though. I’ve gotten stuff I didn’t order, but mostly I rarely get everything I wanted, even if I put in what the substitute would be product. There is no shopping for the store brand that is a whole lot cheaper.
We have gotten used to queuing a lot more now. It used to be the end of the world for some people who had to wait for more than one person to checkout. Now, we’re standing on X’s taped to the floor like kindergartners waiting to go potty.
As is the trend, online shopping has picked up and the downside is retail stores are less needed. Again, this is a loss in real estate value and will leave a lot of square footage available.
So all in all, some of this is good, but a lot of it was unnecessary. If it wasn’t an election year or if there were different political leaders, a whole lot of people wouldn’t be losing there freaking minds over every little thing that they look for to be offended by. HCQ would be over the counter like it is in a lot of countries and we wouldn’t be held hostage for masks as no one really seems to know whether it truly helps or hurts us yet.
I’ll remain optimistic that society will adapt. I’m pessimistic that this is a political power opportunity to control the masses and we should beware.
Nobody loves a woman because she is handsome or ugly, stupid or intelligent. We love because we love.
-Honore de Balzac
There is someone for everyone. I once read (so it might be somewhat true) that there are 15,000 Mr. or Mrs. Right’s for each person. The problem is that they are spread around the world so they might not be next door.
The other saying is that goes with this is that Love is blind. You love because we were created to love and to be together.
With all the nonsense going on in the world right now, it would be a whole lot better if we concentrated on loving someone instead of causing mayhem because they think they hate someone.
Love is a decision. The romance usually wears off in 12-18 months. After that, it is a cause, not an emotion. Looks wear off with age. The real beauty is inside a person.
Let that sink in.
Local school board is deciding whether or not to make kids wear masks at school. Here is what will happen.
Here’s how I think requiring masks might work in elementary.
Please don’t snap Billy’s mask in his face.
Your mask is not a necklace, bracelet, or any other form of jewelry.
You should not be using your mask as a slingshot. Please put it back on your face.
Please do not chew on your mask.
Your mask should be on your face, not on the back of your head
I’m sorry your mask is wet, but that’s what happens when you lick the inside of it.
I’m sorry you sneezed. Here’s a tissue. Wipe out the snot as well as you can.
No, you may not blow your nose in your mask.
Why is your mask soaking wet? You just came back from the bathroom?
And you put it back on your face after you dropped it?
I’m sorry you broke the elastic on your mask by seeing how far the band would stretch. Now you’ll have to hold the mask on your face … or use this duct tape.
Please take the mask off your eyes and watch where you’re walking. I don’t care if you have X-ray vision.
Please take the mask off of your pencil and stop twirling it.
I know the mask fits over your pants like a knee pad, but please take it off of your leg and put it on your face.
What do you mean you tried to eat your lunch through your mask?
Please don’t share your mask or trade masks. I don’t care if you like Ingrid’s mask better than yours.
I’m sorry, but your mask is not school appropriate.
We’re not comparing our masks to other kids’ masks… everyone’s mask is unique and special.
No, you may not decorate your mask instead of doing your work. I don’t care if you have a Sharpie.
You’re not a pirate, please take your mask off your eye.
Try to get the gum off as much as you can.
Please don’t use your mask to pick your nose.
I’m sorry you tripped, but that’s what happens when you put your feet inside the elastic of your mask.
No, your mask doesn’t make it hard to get your work done.
Your Mom will need to get you a new mask since you chewed a hole in that one.
Why is there a shoe print on your mask?
No, you cannot eat the snow through your mask.
I don’t care if you were in art class and being creative; we do not decorate our masks.
We do not beam other kids in the face with balls. No, their masks don’t make it not hurt.
Please don’t plug your nose holes with your mask.
Who’s making that noise?
I’m sorry your ponytail is stuck, that’s what happens when you see how many times you can wrap it around your mask.
I’m sorry to tell you, but your child thought her mask made her a superhero. She tried to fly off the jungle gym at recess …
I’m sorry your breath stinks in your mask, maybe we should all try to brush better.
Please take those cookies out of your mask. No, you are not a chipmunk.
I found this and agree with most of it. It was written by an introvert if you couldn’t tell by the first bullet.
I used the last bullet when raising kids. It kept them (mostly) out of trouble that a lot of my friends had to go through.
A lot of it really refers to personal responsibility for your actions and outcomes. I wish more people were doing that right now instead of blaming others for their problems or as an excuse to act improperly
- Books are your best friends.
- Looks do not reflect character.
- It is not necessary to impress people.
- It is OK to be single.
- Nothing happens by chance, everything happens by choice.
- Crying does not mean you are weak.
- Apologies can be accepted, but after that trust is usually denied.
- People treat you according to their need.
- You usually treat people like they treat you.
- If we believe life is a blessing, it becomes one.
- You are responsible for your own happiness.
- Being reason behind someone’s smile is utter bliss.
- Taking responsibility of your own life is the only way to create the life you desire.
- There is no excuse for binge drinking. The consequences may be serious.
Revenge is taking the poison and hoping others die. Forgive everyday. – unknown
I really don’t mean the saying today for what has been going on the last week even though it applies. It is a saying for all of life. What happens this week will be over soon and there will be another issue to try and cause strife.
On a personal level, we all run into someone every once in a while who says something or does something that either causes harm or offends you. It’s best to forgive and move on. Whether you can forget is up to you, but the other person is probably not thinking about you.
I read the best revenge is not giving a shit. Once you do that, you can forgive a lot easier.
People breakup in relationships. They get laid off from work. Those close to us die. It happens to everyone sooner or later.
You will always keep that memory whether or not you want to, but moving on is part of life. Yes, it takes time, more for some than others. Some never move on as a loss is hurtful.
The best thing I can offer is that every experience can help you grow. Try to look for the positives. Try to remember those things or people that you lost for their positive influence on you. Sometimes if you can’t move on, at least move along until the pain is less.
The other situation I often see is that you don’t get the dream job you thought would change your life. There is always a next job if you keep seeking and no one thing is the panacea of life that will cause it to stop if it doesn’t go your way.
“Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” — Aristotle
It’s hard to figure out who is angry and who is an opportunist with what is going on right now.
Some people can go from zero to life in prison in 2 seconds. Others seem to be able to take more than most. As I grow older and with more wisdom, I realize that a lot of things really aren’t worth getting upset over. I realized this when I was younger, but usually after I got angry and did something I regretted.
Oh, this works for other situations also, like relationships and work situations also.
Compassion for animals is intimately associated with goodness of character, and it may be confidently asserted that he who is cruel to animals cannot be a good man.
We have been in quarantine for a while now. Most are dying to get back to their life of being busy. I’ve observed that those who want to get out the most are the ones who are trying to escape from themselves. It is a time of introspection. If it weren’t an election year, it probably would have been lifted in a lot of places by now.
The extroverts have to talk to others. The introverts don’t mind being alone, but are bothered when they are quarantined with an extrovert that makes their life miserable thinking that they have to talk all the time. They can’t wait for it to be lifted so that they can be home alone again.
Those of us who are truly comfortable with ourselves can enjoy the solitude without distress. The needy are those who have to have others as a salve for their issues. It is a good time to learn to deal with your issues. That is when you are finally free.
1. Your shoes are the first things people subconsciously notice about you. Wear nice shoes.
2. If you sit for more than 11 hours a day, there’s a 50% chance you’ll die within the next 3 years.
3. There are at least 6 people in the world who look exactly like you. There’s a 9% chance that you’ll meet one of them in your lifetime.
4. Sleeping without a pillow reduces back pain and keeps your spine stronger.
5. A person’s height is determined by their father, and their mother determines their weight.
6. If a part of your body “falls asleep”, you can almost always “wake it up” by shaking your head.
7. There are three things the human brain cannot resist noticing – food, attractive people and danger.
8. Right-handed people tend to chew food on their right side.
9. Putting dry tea bags in gym bags or smelly shoes will absorb the unpleasant odor.
10. According to Albert Einstein, if honeybees were to disappear from earth, humans would be dead within 4 years.
11. There are so many kinds of apples, that if you ate a new one every day, it would take over 20 years to try them all.
12. You can survive without eating for weeks, but you will only live 11 days without sleeping.
13. People who laugh a lot are healthier than those who don’t.
14. Laziness and inactivity kill just as many people as smoking.
15. A human brain has a capacity to store 5 times as much information as Wikipedia.
16. Our brain uses the same amount of power as a 10-watt light bulb!!
17. Our body gives enough heat in 30 minutes to boil 1.5 liters of water!!
18. The Ovum egg is the largest cell and the sperm is the smallest cell!!
19. Stomach acid (conc. HCl) is strong enough to dissolve razor blades!!
20. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day & while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate antidepressant.
21. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
22. When you wake up in the morning, pray to ask God’s guidance for your purpose, today.
23. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
24. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.
25. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
26. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts and things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
27. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
28. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
29. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything.
30. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
31. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
32. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
33. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
34. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
35. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
36. Help the needy, be generous! Be a ‘Giver’ not a ‘Taker’
37. What other people think of you is none of your business.
38. Time heals everything.
39. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
40. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. Each night before you go to bed, pray to God and be thankful for what you accomplished, today. What if you woke up this morning and only had what you thanked God for yesterday? DON’T FORGET TO THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING.
43. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
Thomas Sowell – “Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good.”
Post Modernism has ruined the quality of life for us. I know there is no going back, but there are but a few of us willing to fight for what is right rather than what the crowd tells us to do. Just being socially accepted is not a reason for not doing what is right and good.
Sowell has said some of he most relevant and meaningful things that can be read. I encourage others to heed his words
This is a story about my young son trying to catch the biggest fish in the pond.
Fathers do things for their children. They take them places and (try to) teach them things.
I like to fish and wanted my son to also like it so we could fish together. I made sure that we went catching instead of fishing. For those who have gone a entire day fishing without catching anything, you know what I mean.
I took him to the fishing show one year to show him around. It is a place where they sell things mostly to catch fishermen’s wallets.
We started the show by dropping quarters into a large fish tank. If the quarter glided through the water and into the shot glass at the bottom, you were a winner with the prize being your choice of worms. He won on the first try and was very excited about it.
I knew his attention span was limited so we went to the trout pond to fish. When I say pond, I mean a temporary pool filled with fish. They were mostly small trout with maybe 3 big boys in the pond (actually the big ones are female). It came complete with plastic palm trees in the middle for décor. You paid your $2 and could keep anything you caught in 5 minutes. The poles were a 4-foot stick with a short line and small hook baited with a mostly inedible piece of plastic half the size of a fingernail.
The odds are with the fish on this one. Especially when they have seen the same bait for 3 days and got fed every night.
My goal was for him to catch anything while I wanted to get enough of the small guys for dinner. I told him that any fish was a good fish.
HUNTING MOBY DICK
Never the small dreamer, he spotted the biggest fish in the pool and said he was going after it. I feared he would be disappointed as everyone threw a line at it, but I knew I could just take him through the line again and tell him to go for something catchable.
I had landed about 3 of the small fish and was well on the way to having dinner by half the time allotted. He kept trying for the big fish (nicknamed Moby Dick).
As time was counting down and I had caught enough for dinner, I heard a huge splash beside me. I looked over and sure enough, my son had hooked Moby.
My new fear was that he would be crushed if the fish spit the hook. The hooks they provided were tiny and easy for the fish get off the line. I saw it happen to every kid before us. If you didn’t get one to the side in less than 15 seconds, it was pretty much over.
This fish was almost too strong for the small stick and line we were given. Over a minute into the fight, it was still on and I knew the odds were against us.
THE FIRST CHANCE TO LOSE THE FISH
Things took a turn for the worse as his fish got wrapped around one of the plastic palm trees. In my mind, I was already preparing to console him for his loss.
I knew I had to try something. After all, I was his Dad so I reached into the tank and grabbed the palm tree. The pond monitors weren’t happy with me but it was my son.
Anyone who ever had a fish on knows that if you get slack in the line, the fish is as good as gone once the line goes taut and the sudden tension pulls the hook out of the fish’s mouth.
To my surprise, Moby stayed on despite the tree incident and he was well past 2 minutes into the fight. Time was now over for that fishing session, but since he had one on we were allowed to finish. We had an audience as everyone waiting to fish and those who just finished could see that he had a good one on.
I decided that if by chance I could get my hands on this fish that I was willing to do anything to get it for my son. I didn’t want him to be disappointed after overcoming virtually everything that could go wrong, just to lose it at the last second. This wasn’t going to be easy, as anyone who has handled a trout knows they have a coating of slime. They are as slippery as greased ice. Landing them is usually done with a net, which we weren’t allowed to use.
PANIC AT THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
I thought nothing more could go wrong, but to my horror I could see that it was foul hooked (hooked on the body rather than the mouth). My sense of the odds of landing Moby were next to nothing now.
After what seemed like a million circles in the pond, Moby came within my reach and I stuck my hand under the fish and threw it out of the pond in one swoop.
On that day, he had landed the biggest fish in the pond, a Dad was proud and a small boy became a fisherman.
THE SETUP FOR THE DISCUSSION
I suppose every generation considers the learning of the next generation as inferior to theirs. If we didn’t, why do millennials eat tide pods? Why do parents talk about how better their education was and how soft they are on kids today? There are many reasons for this including prejudice, standards, government intrusion into the learning system and deviation from what made our education system the one that led to more progress, inventions and breakthroughs than any in the history of man.
We’ve now potentially gone backwards and have therefore failed the following generations.
In working with public school kids, I observe that there are many reasons. People are not equal and some are smarter and learn better than others. Those with two parent families or with a single parent who is highly integrated in the student’s learning consistently outperform those who don’t. The system has gone backwards due to interference from do-gooders, government (over)regulation and unions. Note: that is my observation only. I see kids rise above the system to achieve, but they have to swim upstream. Most can coast their way through.
Conversely, children who learn under Classical Education have an advantage in learning as it is taught to a standard the kids must keep up with as opposed to teaching to the lowest common denominator so no one is left behind, penalizing those who could achieve more.
Further, Classical Christian education is an approach to learning which emphasizes biblical teachings and incorporates a teaching model known as the Trivium, which consists of the three stages of grammar, logic, and rhetoric.
Classical education complements a child’s natural development stages. Young children can memorize information easily. So, in the early years, learning is enhanced by songs, body movement, recitation, and exploration. This sets them up for success in their next stage of learning, critical thinking.
The critical thinkers are what companies want to hire. They look at problems differently and come to the table with better skills for success.
They also have a distinct advantage over the public school system and the below discussion of how we are destroying learning.
WHERE EDUCATION HAS FAILED OUR KIDS
The biggest failure I’ve observed is the Common Core learning system. It threw away the standards of learning that has proved to produce educated kids by introducing a system that borders on the ridiculous.
It was implemented by those we thought were helping us, yet it may have set us back for years.
Behind a lot of this is none other than Bill Gates, a man I’ve met and have mixed thoughts about. Microsoft is far more successful than his support of Common Core.
But Bill Gates should have felt some uneasiness. Common Core was untested, unproven, and micromanaged by David Coleman, a man with limited credentials but reliably far to the left. Nobody in the business world launches a big new product without years of research and refinement. Instead, Common Core was wrapped in $1 billion’s worth of propaganda and dumped on the country as a fait accompli.
The late, great Siegfried Engelmann, a real educator, was asked what he thought of this approach: “A perfect example of technical nonsense. A sensible organization would rely heavily on data about procedures used to achieve outstanding results; and they would certainly field test the results to assure that the standards resulted in fair, achievable goals. How many of these things did they do? None.”
Did Gates realize that Common Core, supposedly a new and higher instruction, incorporates all the dubious ideas from decades prior? New Math and Reform Math were the basis for Common Core Math. Similarly, Whole Language and Balanced Literacy were rolled into Common Core’s English Language Arts (jargon for reading). Constructivism, which prevented teacher from teaching, has been undermining American schools for decades. Nothing new and higher about these clunkers.
An earlier generation of Gates’s business partners had created so much illiteracy that Rudolf Flesch had to write a book to answer every American’s favorite question: “why can’t Johnny read?”
I don’t hold Gates responsible except for his funding and use of his status to push this, but I hold those who pushed this system on the generation suffering from this learning standard.
The Thinker sums it up like this:
We have to wonder if Bill Gates performed due diligence, that being the care that a reasonable person exercises to avoid harm to other persons or property. In other words, before putting your business funds to work on anything, you should make yourself an expert. That’s what we need in this country: everybody becomes an expert. For sure, nobody should trust the official experts. If Bill Gates had observed that simple rule, he would still have a billion or two he doesn’t have now. And the country would have tens of millions of better educated students it doesn’t have now.
We need to stop this disservice to our kids and have them learn properly, and to learn to think critically.
Here is a video that shows just how far we’ve deviated from the learning system that invented computers, vaccines, technology that has helped mankind and sent men to the moon. Go to 1:24 under Decompose to see how far we’ve digressed.
It would seem the dumping common core and putting real learning would be best for the kids. The world is getting tougher and we need to give them every advantage possible.
Editors note: Since I published this, the comments have been coming in and are now far better than the blog post. I encourage you to read about the lives and struggles of those who have high IQ. Their stories are quite revealing.-> It’s in the comments, hint, hint, hint.
Authors disclosure: I won’t disclose where I am on the IQ chart, but I do have some in my family with very high IQ. My father had a gigantic IQ. Here are the stories of those with high IQ and their travails. See if you identify with any of them.
The blog post actually starts here. It is a compilation of individuals with their names mostly redacted who have written about the travails of a high IQ:
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe – “The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.”
Update: 10/3/16 from Alison Craig
It sounds like you are in the beginning stages of an existentialist crisis. I know the word “crisis” looks alarming, but it shouldn’t. In this case it just means you are examining the point of your own existence. Will I always be alone? Why am I here? Eventually you may even question all existence and come to the seemingly frightening conclusion that we’re all born alone and die alone and nothing in life has purpose.
“Well, that’s horrible! You’re depressing, why would you say such things?”
Again, I repeat- it is nothing to be alarmed about. Those things are true – to a degree. We are born alone and die alone, but we work to make connections with people who can support us, and that we can support in return. Intelligent or not, there will always be like minded people in the world somewhere and they are never easy to find for anyone. To me, making those connections is why I am here and is a large part of my purpose.
No matter how intelligent, wealthy or attractive a person is – it can always be difficult to find true connections so that all of the sharing and giving is not a one way street. Intelligent people may have stricter standards for making friends (in fashion or other), but so might a wealthy person, or a very attractive one. All people fear being used and some are just more cautious than others. An intelligent person can read books on understanding human nature (), body language and other psychology tools to assist them in making life long connections with other people.
From Shah Rukh Qasim on hiding your intelligence:
If you could generalize, the most common would be:
- You keep talking to a person, telling him something you think he doesn’t know. He keeps listening. Then he shares his insight which makes you think he has already known everything you told him. Smart people at often silent and active listeners.
Other signs will include:
- Good problem solvers. Not just mathematics problem. But even daily life problems. They’ll quickly find what’s wrong and take the best course of action to solve the problem.
- They’ll be different in views. And their views will always come with reason. A quote goes around: Small minds discuss people. Average mind discuss events. Great minds discuss ideas.
- “A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.” – William Shakespeare
- They often look for reasons. It goes in four levels (worst to best):
It sucked when I was younger, but these days it’s just awesome.
There is a very common pattern among highly gifted people, namely:
- When you’re young it’s very isolating, and it feels like everyone else is just stupid
- As you grow older, you realize your gift. You also realize that raw intelligence isn’t everything, and that things like social skills matter a lot. Plus, you meet others like you.
- Your social life improves as you get older and learn to connect on things other than intelligence or go to elite institutions where you can meet other highly gifted people.
Honestly, at this point in my life I feel like there are literally no downsides to having a high IQ. It’s like being born good looking or with great physical health: it’s not a silver bullet to a happy life, but it makes a lot of things much easier.
I only found out I had a high IQ (161) because my professional life was such a mess I had to see a psychologist.
If I had to sum it up in a few sentences, I would say that the most aggravating thing about being very intelligent is that you quickly see and understand things at a level of depth that most people don’t (or can’t), and it is very frustrating. You want to move on, you want to be pushed, you don’t want to spend time explaining the details of things you have already grasped, but no one else is caught up yet, so you have to pause. It is particularly painful when dealing with complex topics where the mental models involve feedback loops and non-linearities.
But that said, I’ve learned there is much more to life than intelligence, and being successful is more about hard work and good communication skills than anything else.
“One of the indictments of civilizations is that happiness and intelligence are so rarely found in the same person.”
Working successfully in society and business is limited by some really important social choke points. One of them is that other people, even if they are intellectually slower, must be treated with respect. Another is that even if you are correct you will have difficulty getting people to act on your insights until they understand why you are correct. A third thing is that most important activities are done as a team and so taking action requires breaking down your insights into something that your slower peers and employees can understand. If you try to blow past these choke points you will destroy relationships and even if you are right, your career will languish. I try to remind myself that being successful is not well correlated to being right.
My career is going pretty well now that I’ve understood these constraints. It is possible to turn intelligence to practical life-advantage but our educational system doesn’t really give a blueprint for this. I left school thinking that it mattered that I understood things 5 minutes or 5 years before my classmates did. It doesn’t. Most people’s functioning adult lives are not spent solving tough problems. They are spent going through well established rituals and patterns of relating to each other punctuated by an occasional tough problem. In most cases, people can even skip the tough problems and still do okay in life. So how do you convert a parlor trick (like knowing the ending of a movie after 5 minutes) into something that will make you happier? Mostly, you don’t. Use it when it’s valuable and relax a little when it’s not.
There’s a great Dilbert where someone invites him to join the company’s Mensa chapter and Dilbert asks why people who are so smart continue to work at the company. The president of the Mensa chapter answers, “Intelligence has much less practical application than you’d think.”
In a word, I find it alienating.
Extremely so, in fact.
And I think this is not only because of what makes me “smart”, but also because of what my brain has to sacrifice to be “smart” in that way. (More on that in a sec.)
For the record, my IQ was measured (years ago) at 178. [ETA: Just looked up the percentile, and that’s about 1 in 2 million, for some perspective.] I have 3 advanced degrees and a solid career. But I’m still single and spend very little time around other people.
It took me some time as a young kid to figure out that the people around me weren’t interested in the same things I was. And that, often, to talk about the things I found interesting turned people away.
So I hid that.
When they announced that I was valedictorian of my high school, I was in 1st period art class, and one of my classmates refused to believe that they’d said my name.
But I never felt like I belonged anywhere, and I still don’t.
I don’t have kids, TV doesn’t interest me, I don’t follow celebrities or watch sports. My time is spent with my work, and researching the things that are important to me — astrophysics, particle physics, consciousness research, and although this might seem strange to some people, Biblical scholarship (tho I’m not a believer).
As a result, chit-chat is impossible for me, or else it’s so boring that it becomes impossible.
But like I said, the problem isn’t only that my brain is interested in things that most other brains aren’t. It’s also what my brain can’t do.
There’s only a certain amount of space in the brain, and if one area is eating up the real estate with more neural power, some other part of the brain is likely losing out.
For me, it’s some of the automatic social functioning which tells you, for example, what emotion another person is feeling based on their facial expression, or whether someone’s being sarcastic or not. (Sarcasm is a minefield for me, and meeting another person in a hallway is a nightmare — I cannot interpret when to look, or not, what to say, or not, etc.)
That said, I have an enormously rich life, and I’ve adjusted to it. When I stopped trying to fit in, things got better.
HOWEVER…..STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES
The smart can do stupid things such as:
- Ignoring the importance of design and style – When the iPod originally came out, technical people complained about its lack of features and perceived high price (“ooh, who cares about another MP3 player, I can go buy one at Best Buy for $50” http://forums.macrumors.com/show…). In the meantime, it was so cool and easy to use that normal people went out in droves to buy it.
- Using terrible tools, and taking pride in their awfulness – Especially common with programmers, who take pride in using programming languages and text editors that have been designed by programmers, not updated since the 1970s, and never touched by anyone with a modicum of design sense. They believe that mastering arcane, overcomplicated commands and processes are a mark of pride, rather than a waste of time. I will refrain from singling out specific programming languages and tools here, because smart people also like to get caught up in pointless flame wars about this sort of thing.
- Following the pack – Many smart people often seem to be followers, probably because they grow up spending so much time pleasing others via academic and extracurricular achievement that they never figure out what they really like to work on or try anything unique. Smart people from top schools tend to flock into the same few elite fields, as they try to keep on achieving what other people think they should achieve, rather than figuring out whatever it is they intrinsically want to do.
- Failing to develop social skills – Some smart people focus exclusively on their narrow area of interest and never realize that everything important in life is accomplished through other people. They never try to improve their social skills, learn to network, or self promote, and often denigrate people who excel in these areas. If you are already a good engineer you are going to get 10x the return on time spent improving how you relate to other people compared to learning the next cool tool.
- Focusing on being right above all else – Many smart people act as if being right trumps all else, and go around bluntly letting people know when they are wrong, as if this will somehow endear others to them. They also believe that they can change other people’s minds through argument and facts, ignoring how emotional and irrational people actually are when it comes to making decisions or adopting beliefs.
- Letting success in one area lead to overconfidence in others – Smart people sometimes think that just because they are expert in their field, they are automatically qualified in areas about which they know nothing. For instance, doctors have a reputation as being bad investors: http://medicaleconomics.modernme….
- Underrating effort and practice – For smart people, many things come easily without much effort. They’re constantly praised for “being smart” whenever they do anything well. The danger is that they become so reliant on feeling smart and having people praise them, that they avoid doing anything that they’re not immediately great at. They start to believe that if you’re not good at something from the beginning, you’re destined to always be terrible at it, and the thing isn’t worth doing. These smart people fail to further develop their natural talents and eventually fall behind others who, while less initially talented, weren’t as invested in “being smart” and instead spent more time practicing. http://nymag.com/news/features/2…
- Engaging in zero sum competitions with other smart people – Many smart people tend to flock to fields which are already saturated with other smart people. Only a limited number of people can become a top investment banker, law partner, Fortune 500 CEO, humanities professor, or Jeopardy champion. Yet smart people let themselves be funneled into these fields and relentlessly compete with each other for limited slots. They all but ignore other areas where they could be successful, and that are less overrun by super-smart people. Instead of thinking outside the box, smart people often think well within a box, a very competitive box that has been set up by other people and institutions to further someone else’s interests at the expense of the smart person.
- Excessively focusing on comparing their achievements with others – Smart people who have been raised in a typical achievement-focused family or school can get anxious about achievement to the point of ridiculousness. This leads to people earnestly asking questions like: Success: If I haven’t succeeded in my mid 20s, could I be successful in the rest of my life? and Are you a failure if you are not a billionaire by age 30? What about 40?
- Ignoring diminishing returns on information – Smart people are often voracious readers and can absorb huge quantities of information on any subject. They get caught up in reading every last bit of information on subjects that interest them, like investing, lifehacking, or tech specs of products they’re planning on buying. While some information is useful in making a decision, poring through the vast amount of information available online can be a waste of time. They end up spending a lot of time gathering information without taking action.
- Elitism – Smart people often use smartness as measure of the entire worth of a person. They fail to see the value in or even relate with people who are different. This is illustrated by the Yale professor who doesn’t have the slightest idea what to say to his plumber: http://www.theamericanscholar.or…. And questions like Am I an elitist to think that most people are stupid?
I’ll bet if you ask most people of a certain age, they are going to realize that this is true. I remember asking my father for life advice on his 75th birthday. He answered, “where did it all go so fast?” You’ll find that one below also.
Read and learn if you are young, commiserate if you agree.
#1 – I talk to myself because there are times I need expert advice.
#2 – I consider “In Style” to be the clothes that still fit.
#3 – I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.
#4 – My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance for idiots that needs work.
#5 – The biggest lie I tell myself is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”
#6 – I have days when my life is just a tent away from a circus.
#7 – These days, “on time” is when I get there.
#8 – Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.
#9 – Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
#10 – Lately, I’ve noticed people my age are so much older than me.
#11 – “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering why I’m there.
#12 – When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a mini-vacation.
#13 – Some days I have no idea what I’m doing out of bed.
#14 – I thought growing old would take longer.
#15 – Aging sure has slowed me down, but it hasn’t shut me up.
#16 – I still haven’t learned to act my age and doubt I’ll live that long.
Unfortunately, these are all sadly true!
I got good response on my dog, Boxer Rebellion as well as my interview series, so I thought I’d interview her by describing her day.
Here’s how it goes…..
Wake up, Oh boy, it’s Christmas day, every day! my favorite!
Go for a walk, Oh boy! my favorite!
Eat Dog Food, Oh boy! my favorite!
Play with my toys, Oh Boy! my favorite!
Bark at the kids leaving for school, Oh boy! my favorite!
Nap, Oh boy! my favorite!
Lunch with Dad, maybe some people food, Oh boy! my favorite!
Go for a walk, Oh boy! my favorite!
Bark at the mailman, Oh boy! my favorite!
Kids come home from school, Oh boy! my favorite!
Nap, Oh boy! my favorite!
If I’m good, I get a treat, Oh boy! my favorite!
Dog food, Oh boy! my favorite!
Bark and play with my toys, Oh boy! my favorite!
Go for a walk, Oh boy! my favorite!
Time for bed, sleep on Dad, Oh boy! my favorite!
Here is a similar version I found on the web, but includes cats.
This is an abstract of a piece that being the son of an air conditioning pioneer in Florida, I can relate to. Before you skip to the link, notice his comments as he contributed a great deal of the original building code for Florida in an area when this technology first was implemented.
ABSTRACT This paper explores whether the spread of air conditioning in the United States from 1960 to 1990 affected quality of life in warmer areas enough to influence decisions about where to live, or to change North-South wage and rent differentials. Using measures designed to identify climates in which air conditioning would have made the biggest difference, I found little evidence that the flow of elderly migrants to MSAs with such climates increased over the period. Following Roback (1982), I analyzed data on MSA wages, rents, and climates from 1960 to 1990, and find that the implicit price of these hot summer climates did not change significantly from 1960 to 1980, then became significantly negative in 1990. This contrary to what one would expect if air conditioning made hot summers more bearable. I presented evidence that hot summers are an inferior good, which would explain part of the negative movement in the implicit price of a hot summer, and evidence consistent with the hypothesis that the marginal person migrating from colder to hotter MSAs dislikes summer heat more than does the average resident of a hot MSA, which would also exert downward pressure on the implicit price of a hot summer.
The link is here, his comments begin now.
He told me that he felt responsible, if not guilty that the d–m yankee’s relocated to the south, especially Florida. This is particularly ironic as his parents migrated from Boston in the 1920’s, but this was decades before air conditioning. That meant he spent his childhood growing up in an unairconditioned house in central Florida, a virtual hot house and the location of near 100% humidity. As a side note, I spent a part of my childhood in an unairconditioned house also, but kids don’t care about what they don’t know. We played outside in those days.
As he was a part of the team that designed the Epcot HVAC also, tourism wouldn’t have invaded and transformed the south either. It’s too bad they didn’t figure out AC for the outdoors given the sweltering heat waiting in long lines at tourist attractions.
One can track the swelling of population to the south, particularly Florida to the invention of AC. One side of the state tends to favor the mid-west (the more polite side) and the east southeast portion is now almost a southern borough of New York City.
He reckoned that what was once a polite southern state had become a haven for the same people that gave the USA a bad name abroad for their brash manners and self centered nature. He also observed the voting dynamics being changed by the northeastern influence.
Conversely, the south would not have grown near as quickly business and tourism wise had it not been for this technological improvement. I did enjoy one of the first air conditioned houses, but the heat combined with the imported people caused me to ultimately leave as the city I departed from (in south Florida) earned it’s reputation as the rudest city in the US the year before I left.
Additionally, it did raise wages in the south, although not enough for the liking of those who moved there. It also turned sleepy little towns into booming tourist traps creating numerous jobs.
Worst of all he said was the level of complaining. While the snowbirds moved there to get out of the cold, they then complained how everything was much better from (name the state or city) and how it was so hot outside. Not the most political fellow, he invited them to move back occasionally.
One final difference was that in the south, people let you in when there is traffic. Up north it is a sport to cut someone off.
- When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
- Blaming your farts on me…not funny.
- Yelling at me for barking…I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG!! I’M SUPPOSED TO
- How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn’t all over everything
while you’re gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little
like cat butt?)
- Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly
who’s walk is this anyway?
- Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose…stop it.
- Yelling at me for dragging my butt on your carpet. Why’d you buy
- Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I
haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
- How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth,
you’re just jealous.
- Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?.
- Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew
your stuff up when you’re not home.
- When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far
behind schedule that puts me?
- Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”, then acting surprised when I
freak out every time we go back.
- The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud
moment for the top of the food chain!
- Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us?
My mom was born and died on the 4th, so it is a day that gives me mixed emotions.
One thing not in question is that we should be patriotic. I don’t believe that artists should play it any other way than how it was written. It reminds me of winning the Gold medal and how proud I am to hear it over and over again.
On that note, enjoy…
My Dad and me have had tons of conversations growing up and even now when I go home, It is usually Friday evenings that we spend from late afternoons till late nights just talking about everything that comes to our mind. 🙂 It always brings us closer.
After my first break up, It was one of the best piece of advice he gave me. He said
“Never be naive enough to think love happens only once in your life. It will happen again, I cant say when, but it will. She was your first love and you wont have your first love with anyone again. but love, It will happen. You will find someone who is strong enough to stand up for you and along with you and not leave you in the first sign of hardship. It is her you should not miss in life”
There are a few other gems as well.
- Marks will only get you so much. make sure you learn what is being taught and you can use it when you need to.
- Never let someone treat you badly. They are doing it because you let them.
- Drink because you enjoy it and not to get drunk. Don’t smoke.
I just wish I can be as much a father to my son as my Dad was to me!
My dad had always been a big inspiration to me. I realized that after he passed away in an accident.
When he was in front of me, I never took him seriously, just like any other teenager. But I have always been thanking him for all the words of wisdom.
There is one story he always told me about his friend who cleared an IAS – Indian Administrative Services exam.
He used to write his dreams and stick in on the walls of his room his study table and even his wall ceiling above. Wherever he looked up in despair, he saw his DREAMS, which he always strived for till the end.
“Never ever keep your eye away from your goals. If you always keep getting distracted, imagine yourself winning the accolade which provided you the motivation to fight in the first place. Cover your surroundings with people who always bring you closer to your goals.”
“Always try to be the best of the lot. Even if you fail, you will always be motivated to do better the next time.”
“No matter what you do in life, always keep your character clean. People actually remember the good ones.”
“Never betray anyone in your life. You wont be able to live with the guilt inside.”
For the first 25 years of your life, you decide your habits. For the rest of your life, your habits decide you. Don’t ever give in to peer pressure.
My father is a recluse. Even though I lived at home after college, he and I rarely exchanged more than a few sentences. Last fall, I snagged my first full-time corporate job, earning nearly thrice as much as when I taught kids at a nonprofit. Life was beginning to stabilize, and I was happy to assist my parents, but I felt a deep sadness.
One night, my dad was asking me about work as usual. I gave him the customary, trite responses. Instead of walking off to his bedroom, he stood there, looking pensive, and broke the silence:
“Please, please, don’t chase after money. Don’t worry about supporting me and your mother. You come from a family that strives for higher ideals. I know you love painting, writing, music. You love learning. Pursue your passion – money is secondary. Your happiness is more important to me.”
If Wealth is lost nothing is lost, if health is lost something is lost and if character is lost everything is lost….
When I saw a man drawing a beautiful picture I said
– “I’d love to draw like that!”
– “Then what are you doing to accomplish that?” – my father replied
Every person you meet in life, even the last wretch on the street can teach you something.
Since then I don’t judge people but try to learn from them / their state.
My father was a Vietnam vet and a lifelong hunter. He was quiet and didn’t show much affection but he loved me and my siblings fully, in his own way. The advice he gave me that stuck with me the most was the following:
“Never bring a weapon to a fight that you aren’t prepared to use. It will be taken and used against you.”
I’m a nonviolent person but I see wisdom deep in that advice, even now as an adult. I interpret it as always be prepared to keep your word. If I threaten to turn the car around and you keep yelling, I will turn the car around.
“Trees with the deepest roots are those which have bore through the worst of storms.”
Sitting down in the soothing sun, one winter afternoon my dad explained to me the importance of going through hardships in life.
He showed to me that, the trees having the deepest of roots are the ones which have gone through the worst of storms, but those are the ones which persisted, survived and set in deeper.
The same is with us, hardships never hurt us they only make us stronger. And sometimes the best comes out of us when we are facing the worst situations.
A tender sapling pampered in an over protective environment would not last long even in a mild storm, but a young tree nurturing it self in the wild would grow stronger in those storms.
I am blessed to have a dad who knew when to let us fight our own battles, when to leave us to tough times and when to come to our aid.
My father was too busy as a New York area psychiatrist to ever do anything like come to a soccer game or track meet. So I didn’t expect to see him at all when I was at a major east coast track championship about to anchor the final 440 yards for a mile relay team. In fact, spectators were not allowed in at that meet held in the Armory (in upper Manhattan or the Bronx, I forget). I’d been doing high school sports for several years and it had never crossed his mind to watch me. And we lived out in the suburbs. This championship was held in the city.
But, as I was warming up for the race, he walked right up to me, having driven up from a meeting in midtown.
I was dumbfounded. I asked “How the heck were you even allowed in”?
He answered “Always act as if you own the place.” and then added “Now let’s see you own the track”.
I won that race for the team with something like a 58.5 second run (which could win back then). Then I remember throwing up in a bucket he found for me in anticipation of what I’d be like when I finished.
But it wasn’t my “motivated run” that I remember so much, nor the sentimental aspect of a dad remembering a track meet. That’s B movie material. That’s just a checkmark on the box that says “my dad did that too”.
It was the way he walked right in there and onto the track like he was Donald Trump…and then delivered that powerful advice.
“Charge what you’re worth.” This advice from my dad, who has been successfully self-employed my whole life, was hugely helpful when I struck out on my own as a freelancer.
“Sleep on it. You shouldn’t make life changing decisions when you are angry.”
I did. And I changed my mind.
Hire people who are smarter than you.
My dad was a special ed teacher for 30 years. He wanted his kids to have lots of wonderful experiences, but these things cost money and teachers don’t make a ton. He wanted to have a safe, reliable car to drive us places – so he became a real estate agent on the side so that he could write the car off as a business expense. Still not satisfied with the life he could provide for his family as a teacher/real estate agent, he once attended a seminar given by a lawyer about real estate law. As he sat in the class, he thought, “This is bulls**t. I can do this.” So he went to law school. At night. While teaching, and doing real estate and having three kids under 5 years old. He sometimes recounts this time in his life as “the best time ever” because he would come home and all three of us would want to crawl into his lap and have him read to us. He had real estate to sell and law to study, but he sat with us and read until we all fell asleep in his arms. Then he did his work. In the months leading up to the bar exam, his father got sick. He came to live with us and my parents tried their best to make him comfortable as he slowly faded away. The day before the bar exam, his father passed away.
Then he went in and took the exam he had been staying up nights studying for for months. And he failed. By one point.
He retook the test and passed. He got a job as a lawyer at a firm. But they expected him to bill 80 hour weeks (while still doing his teaching job) and he wasn’t getting to spend time with his family. So he quit the firm.
He started his own practice. Out of our house so he could be around. The practice did well and he continues it to this day. He loves to fight for the little guy. One of his proudest achievements is that because of what he did, we were all able to start our adult lives without any student debt.
Another important one was, “This too, shall pass.”
Sometimes, when life is particularly dark, a simple message can be the candle light that gets us through the storm. This one is worth holding on to.
- Math is patterns. Look for the patterns.
- The lottery is a tax on people who don’t know math.
- No matter what you do… don’t be an idiot.
- Marry someone you’re friends with. Love is great, but you need friendship to make it work.
- Sometimes the rest of the world will be wrong, and you will be right. But if they’re that dumb… can you really expect to change their minds?
- Don’t cut your thumb off. It hurts.