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Great Sayings – Enduring and Character Building by Joseph B. Wirthilin

“Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others.” — Joseph B. Wirthlin

 

I know that I learn more from mistakes than from success.  It hurts more and I never want to repeat it.  While we as humans are doomed to go through it, we learn from the suffering, just some more than others.

Great Sayings – Fearlessness and Readiness by Friedrich Neitzsche

“The higher man is distinguished from the lower by his fearlessness and his readiness to challenge misfortune.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

 

This is not a rating system based on grief, rather how one acts in the face of things not going their way.  Everyone has ups and downs despite what they post on social media.  We all have the choice to give up, or pulling up our trousers and moving ahead.  Note: it doesn’t say we won’t grieve or suffer, rather how we persevere.

Great Sayings – Thomas Paine On Overcoming

“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow.” — Thomas Paine

 

When I studied Martial Arts, my Sensei told me that the ones who quit are the ones that it comes easy too.  The ones who have to struggle or try harder persevere longer and achieve more.

Training for anything is necessary.  Enjoying the journey is how to best enjoy the process of overcoming.  That is the key to the above saying because life, happiness, freedom and other things we cherish are a journey, not an event.

Journalist Jokes, Because well….They Are Journalists

I worked with the press for decades.  The ones I worked with were nice people, but they had to write something that people will read, until now.  Journalists are supposed to (try to) and learn about the subject they are covering. Now they write ridiculous stories and then write the opposite.  They don’t even bother to fact check anymore.  No one reads corrections so they don’t care, and it shows.  I can’t even say this current lot are nice.  If you see below, they aren’t well liked either.

Lately, they have been circling the wagons to cover one side of the political scene or the other together.  They are exposing themselves to the public as to how little they know or how little they want to hide their bias.  A bunch of them just want to jam on the president out of spite, but they are either self-owning or he is swatting them like flies, especially Jim Acosta.

Twitter/Twitchy caught on and now instead of lawyer jokes, it is journalist jokes.  For the most part, this lot deserves what they are getting.  They are now as useless to regular people as celebtards and sports stars trying to give their opinion on something other than their sport.

The hashtag is #JournalistJokes, go see for yourselves.  Here is a list of some as a starter.  Others are more creative than me.

“Three journalists walk into a building. You’d think one of them would’ve seen it.”
“What’s 5 miles long and has an IQ of 30?” “A JOURNALIST PARADE!”
“Three journalists walk into bar and say ‘ouch’ – then write stories about how the bar is racist and phobic.”
“How does a journalist change a light bulb? He holds while the whole world revolves around him.”
And Twitchy’s pick for the winner: “What are the best four years of a journalist’s life? Third grade.”
“Why are there only 2 pallbearers at a ‘journalist’s funeral?” “Garbage cans only have two handles.”
“How do you make a journalist’s eyes light up?” “Shine a flashlight in his ear.”
“What do you call 25 skydiving journalists?” “Skeet.”
“How do you get a one-armed journalist out of a tree?” “Wave to them.”
“What’s the difference between a smart journalist and Bigfoot?” “Bigfoot has been spotted.”
“Why can’t a ‘journalist’ dial 911?” “She can’t find the eleven.”
“What do you do if a journalist throws a grenade at you?” “Pick it up, pull the pin out, and throw it back.”
“What’s the different between God and a journalist?” “God doesn’t think he’s a journalist.”

 

Hat tip WND

Covid-19 Social Distancing – Darth Vader Style

I love Darth Vader meme’s.  One of my favorites is in the Circle Game, but this one is just as good.

The Queen’s Speech – About Covid-19

God save this Queen.  The Commonwealth is lucky to have her.  She has served well since WWII and is well respected despite what her offspring has put her through.  Maybe they could skip to William to keep the Royals as well thought of as they are with her.

Sayings – Do Humans Learn From Their Mistakes?

Douglas Adams – “Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”

 

I guess not.  I wonder what lessons we will have from the Corona/Covid/China/Wuhan/Whatever virus?  Probably not to trust the media and to carefully evaluate if Congress is working for us or themselves.

Another Great Saying About Winning, And Why We Try

Pain is only temporary, victory is forever -Jeremy H. Winning

 

No one wakes up and is the best at what they do by accident.  It takes training, study and perserverance.  The worst place in any competition isn’t last, it’s second because that is the first loser.  This goes with the Vince Lombardi quote a few days ago.

We as humans want to do our best, but some strive harder than others.  I’m not desparaging those who try their hardest, but someone was better, but no one remembers who lost the presidential elections, or got silver medals at the Olympics.

I know I strive to win anything I do.  I try to win practice for anything I compete in, not just the event.  I’ve even beaten the Kobayashi Maru, thanks to Captain Kirk.

Another Covid-19 Related Saying That is Relevant – Life

“Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others.” — Joseph B. Wirthlin

Coved-19 and Essential Jobs

 

I love sports as much as any other red blooded American male.  I love both playing them and watching the best compete against each other.  I just wish they’d realize that with a very few exceptions, athletics is all they are qualified to pontificate on.  I’m tired of being lectured about their position on anything other than their sport.  I’m willing to bet that I’m not alone and in the majority.

I’ve already posted here that actors (celebtards) are the same. 

Even though the meme points to their salary, I don’t have a problem that they make a lot of money.  It doesn’t make them smart or qualified to tell the people with essential jobs how we should think though.  I’m glad that they worked their way to the top based on their skill and God given talent that they worked hard to perfect.  They should be grateful that they were born in a time and a place that allows them to succeed.  When anyone succeeds, the tide rises for all boats so good for them.

They are getting a lesson that while we enjoy being distracted watching them, we don’t miss their soapbox spoutings and are managing to survive just fine without them.

I hope they don’t forget that it’s the fans who pay them.  They work for the fans, not the other way around.

Scary Sayings – Not the Free Press

courtesy of Moonbattery

I’ve worked with the media for decades.  There is nothing independent, nor objective about them, all of them.  Comments are welcome if you can show consistent examples of the opposite.

Great Sayings About Meetings – John Kenneth Galbraith

I’ve already written about how useless most meetings are here, so this is appropriate.

“Meetings are indispensable when you don’t want to do anything.” – John Kenneth Galbraith

Great Sayings – Mine

You can’t change what happens to you in life. All you can change is how you deal with it.

 

And now as we deal with the Covid-19 virus, this is relevant.

Great Sayings – Richard M. Nixon

“We must always remember that America is a great nation today not because of what government did for people but because of what people did for themselves and for one another.” Richard Nixon

 

Sure, things didn’t work out so well for him at the end, but he’s not wrong about America or government.

Great Sayings – Laurence J. Peter

Laurence J. Peter – “Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.”

Great Sayings – Covid-19 Edition by Maxwell Maltz

“Close scrutiny will show that most ‘crisis situations’ are opportunities to either advance, or stay where you are.” — Maxwell Maltz

 

And now we will see who are the real leaders around the world. As always, some will be better than the others.  Some will be more decisive and others will reveal that they may not be leaders at all.  History will be the judge perhaps years from now.

Great Sayings – Simon Sinek

“Panic causes tunnel vision. Calm acceptance of danger allows us to more easily assess the situation and see the options.” — Simon Sinek

 

It’s a practiced skill, although true leaders seem to be born with it the ability to put aside feelings and deal with it.  It’s why Army Rangers and Navy Seals can enter a hostile situation and execute.  Many drives by sports teams to the winning score are by level headed leaders who see the goal and understand the situation. Adding perceived danger only clouds the situation and adds complexity.

 

Covid-19, Making Celebtards Irrelevant

From the Irish

Finally we have proof that proves no one cares what people think who pretend to be others for our entertainment or those who play games for gazillions.  They are our distraction and don’t live paycheck to paycheck like the 60% of Americans who do.

Great Sayings – Jordan Peterson

“A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who has that under voluntary control.” — Jordan Peterson

 

Self control is a good trait.  The baddest man in the room never has to prove it, but should be able to defend himself and the weak when necessary.  This is not just a bare knuckles statement.  Being intellectually strong as well as spiritually sound are also strengths one needs.

None of these come for free.  You must work on them, and work on them constantly.  The world doesn’t stop and neither does evil.  Now go out and be dangerous to evil.

Covid-19, It’s Another Pearl Harbor – We’ve Been Through This Before And We Do It Best

Update:  On April 5th, the Surgeon General compared the Corona Virus to Pearl Harbor.

There are events in history that cause a divided nation to come together.

Some have been pandemics and others have been wars, but there are times defined by history that people put their selfishness aside and gather to do what is best.

As an example, I could pick the Spanish Flu, SARS, MERS, H1N1, Y2K, the Swine Flu, the Space Race to the Moon or any number of events, but I’m going to use Pearl Harbor.

I wasn’t there, but our nation was divided as to whether we should enter another World War or isolate ourselves and hope the problem would go away or others would solve it.  This all changed on December 7, 1941 when our country was forced into the events of the world.

We could have cowered to the attack and ask them not to do it again.  Neville Chamberlin tried to appease Hitler this way and it didn’t work out so well.

THE MIGHT OF THE USA

Admiral Yamamoto, the architect of Pearl Harbor knew that a surprise attack to take out our Navy was the only real chance for Japan to stop the USA so they they could expand their reach in the Pacific Rim.  After all, he had studied and lived in the USA and knew that our forces were depleted after WWI.  He also knew that he couldn’t attack us on our own soil.

What also turned out to be true was that if the attack didn’t work, that he would awaken the might of the greatest industrialized nation in the world and unite our country to defeat evil.

On December 8th 1941, men young and old were lined up to enlist to fight for our survival.  They knew that they would be leaving loved ones behind and there was a distinct possibility that they wouldn’t return alive.  They put their fears aside and were willing to fight for our survival and the future that we enjoy today.

Not long after, women went to work in the factories.  We had to ration rubber and metal for war supplies, but everyone did their part.

Companies changed their direction.  Auto makers went from making cars to building bombers.  Scientists invented new weapons to win, not to just survive and suffer.  Our nation came together as one because we had a cause to fight for.

After the war, the greatest achievements in technology, medicine and space exploration happened at a speed heretofore never accomplished.

WE’VE BEEN COMPLACENT AND DIVIDED

All of that progress created wealth, comfort and abundance and we lost our focus.  It’s no secret that we’ve been a divided country.  I’m not here to point fingers because there is enough of that going on through the tradional news and social media.  All of it has a bias one way or the other and it has been pulling us apart.

We haven’t had a common enemy to rally against since the downfall of the Soviet Union.  Instead, we’ve been feeding on ourselves instead of pulling together.  There is a strain of hatred for what we have been that defies the achievements that built our country.  I have read celebtards and sports figures that say we have never been great.  This just proves that they have no appreciation for the sacrifice and achievements that gave them the fame and fortune to preach from their soapboxes.  It also denies our ability to do it again.

We as humans need a cause to believe in and to fight for, whether we are handed or invent it ourselves.  Conversely, politicians have been poisoning us with their desire for power and control.  They have been playing a game of capture the flag on their own islands and haven’t put the good of the country and the people first.  They have been building their power base by taking away our freedom through regulation.

Our government was set up with a system of checks and balances to ensure that no one had the power like the monarchy who we defeated to become what we are.  We now potentially suffer from what the history of the world has suffered from since the beginning of time.  That is the selfishness, greed and desire for power that has aflicted man since the expulsion from the Garden of Eden.

There also has been a faction for globalization that has tried to deplete our greatness by moving manufacturing offshore to the point that we could be held hostage for medical supplies.  Our spirit of nationalization has been tested by the border fight and ideology fueled by hate of the President.  It has ratcheted up these last few years in a power struggle because there was no enemy other than from within.

We have been eating ourselves instead of fighting together.

THE CORONA/COVID-19/CHINA/WUHAN/WHATEVER VIRUS

We now have a new Pearl Harbor.  We have been attacked by a new enemy who ambushed us again.  It is time for us to realize that we have a fight on our hands  Opportunity for success or failure knocks at the door of the fate of our country.

To do that, we need to go back to the spirit of 1941.  It was the people who came together in both the public and private sector, not the control of the Government that helped us save ourselves.

We can go back to being the humans that have struggle to fight against, rally together and overcome (both the virus and the overbearance of the governement regulations).

THE SILVER LINING

There is a great opportunity if we do the same as our forefathers.  Manufacturing in America again can help us right ourselves to help reunite our country and help other countries as we’ve done before.

We are beginning to see the automakers making ventilators, factories starting to make facemasks and other birth pains of our possible re-emergance to self-sustainment.  It can be done.

Before you manufacture in the USA instead of cheap labor offshore, there needs to be a construction boom to prepare production facilities.  After that, the job creation of made in in America is limitless, profitable and will help us help ourselves and others if they want it.

We already have become energy independent by producing enough oil so as to not be dependent on countries who hate us.

Our pharmacuticals are all made offshore by countries that have threatened to cut us off.  We need to do the same in the drug industry to continue our trend of independence and strength.  Through this can we help the rest of the world and save our nation from being held hostage for needed medical supplies and energy.

Most of all, we need fix our goverment and make them serve us instead of us serving them.  Companies and individuals need to be let loose to invent, design and create to defeat this latest Pearl Harbor instead of being told when and what we can or can’t do.  It’s time to limit their power and continue the greatness that history proves is inside of us.

Great Sayings – George Patton

“I don’t fear failure. I only fear the slowing up of the engine inside of me which is saying, ‘Keep going, someone must be on top, why not you?’” — George S. Patton Jr.

 

Love him or hate him, he got things done and was feared by the enemy, so much so that they had a respect for his command.  In these times of the Covid-19 virus, we need to keep going and not give up.  Stay on top and don’t give up.

Great Sayings – Abraham Maslow

“If I were dropped out of a plane into the ocean and told the nearest land was a thousand miles away, I’d still swim. And I’d despise the one who gave up.” — Abraham Maslow

 

I’ve been in some dark places before either in life or just competition.  They say in the Marines that there is always an end to whatever pain you are going through so don’t give up.  You’d be amazed at what you can accomplish.

They train Seals until exhaustion, but it’s said that they are only at their 60% level and have a reserve.  How do I know?  If someone pointed a rifle at them, they could still run some more.  It’s said if you get to your end and someone offered you $100 to go 30 seconds more, almost everyone can and will do it.

 

Great Sayings – Orison Swett Marden

“There can be no failure to a man who has not lost his courage, his character, his self-respect, or his self-confidence. He is still a King.” — Orison Swett Marden

 

A lot can be said for the person who is has not lost his courage, even if he is afraid.  You can have both at the same time, just don’t let the one out do the other.  As for character, that will be what others talk about when they speak of you either behind your back or at your funeral.

Great Sayings – Vince Lombardi

I’ve heard him being quoted with different versions of this one, so I’ll put in the ones that I’ve heard.

 

“Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.” — Vince Lombardi

If winning isn’t important, why do they keep score?

Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.

It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s whether you win.

Great Sayings – John F. Kennedy

“A man does what he must — in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers, and pressures — and that is the basis of all human morality.” – John Kennedy

Great Sayings – Patrick Henry

“Adversity toughens manhood, and the characteristic of the good or the great man is not that he has been exempt from the evils of life, but that he has surmounted them.” – Patrick Henry

Great Sayings – Fyodor Dostoyevsk

“If you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsk

Great Sayings – Benjamin Disraeli

“Life is too short to be little. Man is never so manly as when he feels deeply, acts boldly, and expresses himself with frankness and with fervor.” – Benjamin Disraeli

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An Opinion Without Pi – Happy Pi Day

More on Men vs. Women Getting Along or Not Getting Along with the Same Sex

I have written about men and women in the workplace (and in life) and how they treat the same sex.

One ex told me that mean girls will say you look nice when they look bad or if another girl asks how do I look (when there obviously is something wrong or it looks bad) and the mean girl says you look just fine.

Men grow up playing games (the circle game) and doing stuff like snapping each other with a wet towel at the pool or in the lockerroom.  Men can call each other all kinds of names or fight in a meeting at work, then go for a beer afterwards as if nothing happened.

I haven’t noticed this trait in many women.  If offended, I’m told by females that they can hold a grudge forever.

Well, here is a meme that describes it.

The 10 Cannot’s – Inserting Reality Into Today’s Politics (And Woke Culture)

Some sanity and reasonableness should be considered when putting yourself out into the social media universe. Everyone seems to think that it is now their responsibility to tell us how to think, speak and act.

Here are 10 logical statements that are not new, but should have been taught to those who think they should tell us what to do, especially by politicians, the media and celebtards.  I wish George Orwell were alive today to see how right he was when he wrote 1984.

PC culture is ruining our society and frankly is taking the fun out of life for those of us who don’t get offended easily.

It’s time for a lot of people to grow up and act like adults.  Personally, I blame the educational system.  It has a considerable lack of diversity in terms of being able to view all sides of an issue before opening there mouths or post on Twitter, which I now call Hater.  Other platforms are becoming just as bad, but the hate usually starts there.

Rep. Stephen M. Young inserted into the Congressional Record, in 1950, an article from Harper’s magazine, written by a Lincoln scholar, Albert A. Wolman, listing most of the ”Ten Cannots” and other material falsely attributed to Lincoln.

The 10 Cannots:

1) You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.

2) You cannot help small men by tearing down big men.

3) You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

4) You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.

5) You cannot help the poor man by destroying the rich.

6) You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income.

7) You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.

8) You cannot establish security on borrowed money.

9) You cannot build character and courage by taking away men’s initiative and independence.

10) You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

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Happy Birthday IKEA, Here Is Your Cake, More IKEA Humor

World Introvert Day Is January 2, How to Celebrate #worldintrovertday

Of course, Introverts will be uniting together, separately and alone.  Hopefully the extroverts won’t try to butt in and want to small talk.

 

A List of Murphy’s Laws

  • If anything can go wrong it will at the most inopportune time.
  • The greater the value of the rug, the greater the probability that the cat will throw up on it.
  • If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong (or the one to go wrong first).
  • The other line always moves faster.
  • The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
  • In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there. (Also known as the “Peter Principle”)
  • Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet.
  • After you bought a replacement for something you’ve lost and searched for everywhere, you’ll find the original.
  • The best golf shots happen when you are alone (and the worst when playing with someone you want to impress).
  • Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
  • Traffic is inversely proportional to how late you are, or are going to be.
  • A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.
  • The probability of being observed is directly proportional to the stupidity of one’s actions.
  • You will always find something in the last place you look.
  • Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Of course you can go to the Murphy’s Law site and see all of this there.

Murphy’s laws

  • If anything can go wrong, it will
    Corollary: It can
    Corollary sent by Dr. Allen Roberds
    Corollary: It should
    MacGillicuddy’s Corollary: At the most inopportune time
    Corollary sent by Earl R. Johnson
    Extension: it will be all your fault, and everyone will know it.
    Extension sent by 
  • If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong
    Extreme version:
    If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the FIRST to go wrong
    Extreme version sent by 
  • If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway
  • If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop
    Corollary: It will be impossible to fix the fifth fault, without breaking the fix on one or more of the others
    Corollary sent by Sean Cheshire
  • Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse
  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
  • Nature always sides with the hidden flaw
    Corollary: The hidden flaw never stays hidden for long.
    Corollary sent by Dave M.
  • Mother nature is a bitch
    Addendum: and not an obedient one at that
    Addendum sent by 
  • Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics
    Things get worse under pressure.
  • The Murphy Philosophy
    Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
  • Quantization Revision of Murphy’s Laws
    Everything goes wrong all at once.
  • Murphy’s Constant
    Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value
  • Murphy’s Law of Research
    Enough research will tend to support whatever theory.
  • Research supports a specific theory depending on the amount of funds dedicated to it.
    Sent by Tony ’68
  • Addition to Murphy’s Laws
    In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right … something is wrong.
  • More Laws
  • Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
  • It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
  • Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
  • Rule of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
    Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.
  • Nothing is as easy as it looks.
  • Everything takes longer than you think.
  • Everything takes longer than it takes.
    Sent by Jon Carpenter
  • If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
  • Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
  • Every solution breeds new problems.
  • The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.
  • no matter how perfect things are made to appear, Murphy’s law will take effect and screw it up.
    Sent by Mitch
  • You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
  • The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
    Sent by Paul Breen
  • The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
  • More Laws of Selective Gravitation.
  • A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.
  • A shatterproof object will always fall on the only surface hard enough to crack or break it.
  • A paint drip will always find the hole in the newspaper and land on the carpet underneath (and will not be discovered until it has dried).
  • A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).
  • If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.
  • A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.
  • If you use a pole saw to saw a limb while standing on an aluminum ladder borrowed from your neighbor, the limb will fall in such a way as to bend the ladder before it knocks you to the ground.
  • If you pick up a chunk of broken concrete and try to pitch it into an adjacent lot, it will hit a tree limb and come down right on the driver’s side of your car windshield.
  • More Laws of Selective Gravitation were sent by Jack from the Classic CKLW Page
  • The greater the value of the rug, the greater the probability that the cat will throw up on it.
    Sent by Ralph
  • You will always find something in the last place you look.
  • If your looking for more than one thing, you’ll find the most important one last.
    Sent by Alegna
  • It is never in the last place you look. It is in the first place you look, but never discovered on the first attempt.
    Sent by Peter
  • After you bought a replacement for something you’ve lost and searched for everywhere, you’ll find the original.
    Sent by Dizzy
  • You have to look where you lost it.
    Sent by ClaytonPrc@aol.com
  • No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you’ve bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
  • The other line always moves faster.
  • In order to get a personal loan, you must first prove you don’t need it.
  • Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.
  • If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.
  • If it jams – force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
  • When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
  • Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
  • Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
  • In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
  • There’s never time to do it right, but there’s always time to do it over.
  • When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
  • Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
  • Murphy’s golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.
  • A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
  • In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
  • Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
  • Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
  • No good deed goes unpunished.
    Sent by John Cougar and by getalife who asks “who wrote that?”.
    Illustrious Blackbird knew the answer, it was Samuel L. Clemens also known as Mark Twain.
  • Where patience fails, force prevails.
    Sent by Woody.
  • Erma Bombeck
    “Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet.
    Sent by Amwood1@amwoodhomes.com.
  • Heisenberg indetermination principle applied to ill luck:
    The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you,
    the worse you know when this will happen,
    and vice-versa.
    and Relativistic correction of Murphy’s law:
    Whether things can go wrong or not, it depends on your frame of reference.
    Corollary (otherwise said: ill luck is actually absolute):
    Regardless of your frame of reference, things will go wrong anyway.
    Were sent by Simone Penzavalle.
  • If you want something bad enough, chances are you won’t get it.
  • If you think you are doing the right thing, chances are it will back-fire in your face.
  • When waiting for traffic, chances are that when one lane clears the other is congested.
  • Just when you think things cannot get any worse, they will.
  • Remember the “Boomer-rang” effect; Whatever you do will always come back.
  • If you re-act to actions, you’ve acted on actions.
  • He who angers you controls you, there-fore you have no control over your anger.
    The last SEVEN laws were sent by Leesa,
    Thank you.
  • Any time you put an item in a “safe place”, it will never be seen again.
  • Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.
  • The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.
  • No matter how hard you try, you cannot push a string.
    (getting everyone in the family to the car at the same time for example)
  • The fish are always biting….yesterday!
  • You will never leave a parking space without someone in an adjacent space leaving at the same time.
    Sent by Sean Murphy
  • The cost of the hair do is directly related to the strength of the wind.
  • Great ideas are never remembered and dumb statements are never forgotten.
  • The clothes washer/dryer will only eat one of each pair of socks.
    EIGHT laws were sent by Charles L. Mays,
    Thank you.
  • When you see light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel will cave in.
    Sent by Fridrik Bjarnason
    Or in another version
    The light at the end of the tunnel is a train
    Sent by Steve
  • Cole’s Law:
    Thinly sliced cabbage.
    Sent by Michael
  • Being dead right, won’t make you any less dead.
    and
    Having the right of way, won’t make you any less dead.
    Sent by anonymous
  • Whatever you want, you can’t have, what you can have, you don’t want.
  • Whatever you want to do, is Not possible, what ever is possible for you to do, you don’t want to do it.
  • Traffic is inversely proportional to how late you are, or are going to be.
  • The complexity and frustration factor is inversely proportional to how much time you have left to finish, and how important it is.
    The four last laws were sent by Joe
  • Crespins law of observation:
    the probability of being observed is in direct proportion to the stupidity of ones actions
    Sent by R. Crespin esq.
  • If you go to bed with an itchy ass, you wake up with smelly fingers.
    Sent by Chris Davidsen, from Norway.
  • A knowledge of Murphy’s Law is no help in any situation.
  • If you apply Murphy’s Law, it will no longer be applicable.
  • If you say something, and stake your reputation on it, you will lose your reputation.
  • no matter where I go, there I am
    Sent by John Davenport
  • Where patience fails, force prevails.
    Sent by Woody
  • Murphy’s Law Current Revision
    Any thing that can go wrong, HAS Already Gone Wrong!
    You just haven’t been notified.
  • The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” but “That’s funny…”
    Said by Isaac Asimov
  • A former colleague of Russell Cooper once claimed that Murphy had plagiarized his “Gamble’s Law” which says that “The letter box is always on the other side of the road”
  • If many things can go wrong, they will all go wrong at the same time.
  • If anything can go wrong, it will happen to the crankiest person.
    Sent by Timothy Boilard
  • Waxman’s Law:
    Everything tastes more or less like chicken.
    Last two laws were sent by Del Ross
  • Skarstad’s Observation
    You will never find any more loose change than you have already lost.
    Sent by Gayle
  • If authority was mass, stupidity would be gravity.
    Sent by Greg
  • all good things come to those who wait…
    but , don’t wait too long or they will pass you by…
    like 2 ships that pass in the night…
    never again to return that same exact site.
    Sent by Jujuakita
  • If anything was worth doing, it would’ve already been done.
    Corollary: Nothing is worth doing.
    Sent by D-D-D-Dave
  • You can do anything except light a paper match on a marshmallow under water
    Sent by John
  • Ants will always infest the nearest food cupboard.
    Sent by anonymous
  • Long’s Law
    Those who know the least will always know it the loudest.
    Sent by Chris Moore
  • McFalls’ Maxim
    No degree of acceptance can ever change the facts.
    Translation: You may come to terms with being screwed, but nevertheless you’re still screwed.
    Sent by Oliver McFalls
  • Hunter’s Corollary to Murphy’s Law:
    Things always go from bad to worse.
  • Hunter’s Observation on Beauty:
    Beauty is only skin deep, fashion even shallower.
  • Hunter’s Observation on Experts:
    An expert is someone with an opinion and a word processor.
  • Hunter’s Observation on Sugarcoating:
    All pornography is air-brushed or computer-enhanced.
  • Hunter’s Observation on hypocrites:
    A person without values or standards can never be a hypocrite.
  • Hunter’s Observation on Education and Oz:
    “We can give you a diploma, but we can’t give you a brain.”
    The last six laws were sent by Hunter
  • Sgt. Murphy’s Law
    Don’t get into a pissing contest with a skunk.
    Sent by Bird Waring
  • The Law of Stupid Tricks
    Just because you CAN do something doesn’t mean you SHOULD.
    Sent by Zenjive
  • Garbage abhors a vacuum. It will grow to fill available space.
    Corollary: The more space you have, the more junk you’ll have.
    Sent by Magycke
  • Paper is always strongest at the perforation.
    Sent by Mike
  • Things are never as good as they are bad.
    Sent by Scott Miller
  • Chaos always wins, because it’s better organized.
    Sent by Regards Walter citing Terry Pratchett
  • The Wingwalker’s Rule:
    Don’t let go of something until you have a hold of something else.
    Sent by D. Kinloch.
  • A bird in the hand is messy.
    Sent by Ted Machler
  • The mud that won’t come off on the doormat immediately adheres to the carpet.
    Sent by Jenny Pitt
  • When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.
    Sent by Pieter
  • If Murphy’s law is correct, everything East of the San Andreas Fault will slide into the Atlantic – Steven Wright
    Sent by Deke
  • If Murphy’s Law can go wrong it will.
    Sent by Mark
  • Cheer up, the worst is yet to come…
    Sent by Yaron Budowski
  • If at first you don’t succeed destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
    Sent by Damien Hope
  • Mrs. Murphy’s Law:
    If anything can go wrong it will go wrong when Mr. Murphy is out of town….
    Sent by Sharon Murphy
  • If all else fails, hit it with a big hammer.
    Sent by Jeronimo
  • Warneke Law
    You cannot force Murphy’s Law to happen and you can’t use it in reverse.
    Sent by Warneke
  • When something goes wrong, you cannot find the solution in the instruction booklet, but someone else always does.
    Sent by mark peacock
  • Everything in life is important, important things are simple, simple things are never easy.
    Think about it, complete the circle.
    Sent by Sam Diggly who’s dad told her this law after she got married.
  • It takes forever to learn the rules and once you’ve learned them they change again.
    Sent by Tracey Goldstein
  • The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds,
    the pessimist fears this is true.
    Sent by what’d ya say?
  • You will find an easy way to do it, after you’ve finished doing it.
    Sent by Conan Rock
  • Hofstadter’s Law:
    It always takes longer than you think, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.
    Sent by Ben Jones
  • In Las Vegas, wherever you want to go in a casino, it’s as far as possible from where you are, no matter where you are.
    Sent by Lois Weiner
  • The wind will always blow opposite to your hairdo
    Sent by G B
  • Wind velocity increases directly with the cost of the hairdo.
  • The probability of the toast landing peanut-butter-side-down is directly proportionate to the cost of the carpeting.
    Sent by Keith Hipkins
  • Laundry Math:1 Washer + 1 Dryer + 2 Socks = 1 Sock
    Sent by Bryan Ortiz
  • Window polishing:
    It’s always on the other side.
    Sent by Jakob Sultan
  • Hall’s Law:
    Anyone who isn’t paranoid simply isn’t paying attention.
    Sent by Colin
  • (Another) Hall’s Law
    Minor problem isn’t.
    Sent by Philip Hilbert Hall
  • A valuable falling in a hard to reach place will be exactly at the distance of the tip of your fingers.
  • If a valuable falls in a hard to reach place at a distance shorter than the tip of your finger, as soon as you try to reach it you’ll push it to that distance.
    The last two laws were sent by Luciano Quinones
  • If it looks good,
    And it taste good,
    And it feels good,
    There has got to be something wrong some where,
    So be careful.
    Sent by Shirley Cameron
  • Two heads are better than one, even if one is a sheep head.
    Sent by Robert Dion
  • The probability of rain is inversely proportional to the size of the umbrella you carry around with you all day.
    Sent by GKarlitz1@aol.com
  • No matter how hard you try, every once in a while, something is going right.
  • Behind every little problem there’s a larger problem, waiting for the little problem to get out of the way.
    The last two laws were sent by Robert K White
  • When you really need something, its either not available, or can’t be found.  When you don’t need it, its either available, or lays around in plain sight.
    Sent by Robert Van Sile
  • Whenever you cut your finger nails, you find a need for them an hour later.
    Sent by Jeff S
  • Law of Conservation of Filth:
    In order for something to get clean, something else must get dirty.
    Conclusion to the Law of Conservation of Filth:
    It is possible for everything to get dirty and nothing to get clean.
    Sent by Scott Tietjen,  AKA, “Great Scott”
  • The file you are looking for is always at the bottom of the largest pile.
    Sent by Larry
  • Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.
    Sent by G Martin
  • Gumperson’s Law:
    The likelihood of something happening is in inverse proportion to the desirability of it happening.
    Sent by Ken Kaplan
  • Uffelman’s Razor:
    [Given Murphy’s law, …] One should not attribute to evil design any unfortunate result which can be attributed to error. A mistake (or series of mistakes) is the simpler and more likely explanation.
    Conspiracy Corollary to Uffelman’s Razor:
    Nothing should be attributed to conspiracy that can be explained by error or a succession of errors.

    • Example 1: The alleged conspiracy to “fake” the Apollo moon landing.
      Such an undertaking would be so likely to result in multiple glitches that it would be nearly impossible to pull off. Thus, conspiracy is an unlikely explanation of events. Accordingly, the “evidence” of the “faked” landing is more likely a result of the errors of those interpreting the evidence than of the evil design of the alleged conspirators.
    • Example 2: The Warren Report.
      Any open questions in the Warren Report are more likely the result of the errors of the Warren commission, or the errors of those interpreting the Warren Report, than the result of a conspiracy to cover up the true facts.

    copyright 1995, 2002. David G. Uffelman

  • Probability law:
    Probabilities serve only and exclusively to determine the degree of improbability of the catastrophes that actually take place.
    Corollary: If something is likely to happen AND desirable, it won’t happen.
    Sent by Sylvain Galibert
  • Common Sense Is Not So Common
  • Power Is Taken… Not Given
    Sent by John  Burke
  • Two wrongs don’t make a right. It usually takes three or four.
  • If the truth is in your favor no one will believe you.
    The last two laws were sent by Lenny Quites
  • When things go from bad to worse, the cycle repeats.
    Sent by Rivers
  • Laws are like a spider web, in that it snares the poor and weak while the rich and powerful brake them.
    Solon, ancient Greece
    Sent by Red
  • key to happiness is to be O.K. with not being O.K.
    Sent by Divya
  • The two most abundant things in all the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
    Sent by Ross Henderson
    and another version to this law
    The most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen, stupidity and opinions.
    Sent by Martin and Henrik from Denmark
  • Stupidity is the fundamental driving force of the Universe, which explains why stupid people always go wrong.
    Sent by Anonymousepad
  • Every rule has an exception except the Rule of Exceptions.
    Sent by GL Roberts
  • If your action has a 50% possibility of being correct, you will be wrong 75% of the time.
    Sent by Bob Holdegraver
  • If you plan for something to go wrong, and it doesn’t go wrong, it would have been ultimately profitable for it to go wrong.
    Sent by John Wilson
  • Common sense isn’t.
    Sent by Joe Facchini
  • The difference between Stupidity and Genius is that Genius has its limits.
    Sent by Mark M Stevens
  • The universe is great enough for all possibilities to exist.
    Sent by Elizabeth A. Kennedy
  • Those who don’t take decisions never make mistakes.
    Sent by Asier Zabarte
  • The only price you pay for greatness is knowing that it can’t last forever.
    Sent by Taranis Valerin
  • Anything that cant possible in a million years go wrong, will go wrong.
  • Anything that seems right, is putting you into a false sense of security.
  • If everything seems great, its already gone wrong.
  • The only time you’re right, is when its about being wrong.
  • The only times something’s right, is when everyone agrees its wrong.
    The last five laws were sent by Thomas Wrobel
  • If a Murphy law is tried to be used to have a desired outcome, the law will backfire.
    Sent by Pat M.
  • Its never so bad it couldn’t be worse.
    Sent by Raymond J. Gunn that says that his friend George Brabbs use to say it, then he died, now he wonders
  • Andrew’s Law
    When saying that things can not possibly get any worse – they will
    Sent by Andrew Milbourne
  • Murphy’s Metalaw
    Knowing Murphy’s Law will never help.
  • Occult Principle of Murphism
    To know Murphy’s Law is to draw its attention.
  • Avoidance Law
    If for some reason Murphy’s Law fails to operate, it is building up for something big.
  • Hermetic Murphism
    As above, so below.
  • The big catastrophes are made up of smaller ones.
  • Buddha’s Version of Murphy’s Law
    Decay is inherent in all things, strive unceasingly.
  • Fleming’s corollary:
    Nothing ever gets better.
  • Murphologist’s Curse
    Given time one can develop a sense of how Murphy’s Law will act, but the Murphy Sense will tingle only after it is too late to keep the excreta from impacting the rotating blade based wind generator.
    The last seven laws were sent by Azrias Mordax
  • The probability that something can go wrong is directly proportional to the square of the amount of inconvenience it can cause you
  • Everything that could possibly go wrong for anyone else always seems to happen to you
  • Law of cooperatives
    In any particular situation, if three things can go wrong, they usually do in sequence, each facilitating the occurrence of the next
    The last three laws were sent by Takura Razemba
  • Mr. Murphy warning:
    Don’t mess with Mrs. Murphy
  • Mrs. Murphy’s Law:
    If something goes wrong, it’s Mr. Murphy’s fault.
    Last two laws were sent by Frank O’Neal
  • Mrs. Murphy’s Law
    If anything can go wrong it will, and when it does, the woman will get the blame
    Sent by ginakell@hotmail.com
  • Lewis’ Axiom
    The person ahead of you in the queue, will have the most complex transaction possible
    Sent by Robert Lewis
  • Every problem is replaceable with a bigger one.
    Sent by Nabeel
  • Another name for Murphy’s law: The law of conservation of misery
    Sent by Achten
  • Carvalheiro’s deduction
    If in a particular circumstance Murphy’s law don’t apply, then something must be wrong
    Sent by Filipe Carvalheiro
  • Sharad’s Law
    If Murphy’s law is right then it will go wrong
    Sent by Sharad Bhandari
  • A law about websites:
    The more important it is to get to a website, the greater the chance the server is down.
    Sent by Shaunna
  • Laws about this site:
    The More the number of laws you claim to have, the more the number of laws you are going to miss.
    Sent by Sathish
  • This site won’t open when you want to show someone what exactly Murphy laws are
    Sent by Dinni
  • Remember:
    Shit happens
  • Murphy’s law is intrinsic.
    Sent by wolfram
  • And on the eighth day God said;”O.K. Murphy, you take over!
    Sent by Robert A. Silvestri
  • Larry Niven’s summary of Murphy’s Law:
    The perversity of the universe tends to a maximum.
    Sent by Kevin Boland
  • The road to success is always under construction
    By Anton Figg (?)
  • If in a series events that could have gone wrong and didn’t, It will have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone wrong in the first place.
    Sent by 
  • Bralek’s Rule for Success:
    Trust only those who stand to lose as much as you.
    Sent by 
  • whatever was supposed to happen, won’t
    Sent by 
  • You can’t expect the unexpected, otherwise there would be no need for the word unexpected
  • You cant reason with the stupid
    The last two laws were sent by 
  • If you lose something that is replaceable (textbooks, clothing etc) as soon as you buy a replacement the original will surface.
    Sent by 
  • Clemens’ Law
    In any given situation, people will act so as to display the maximum possible amount of stupidity for that situation.
    Clemens’ Law short form
    People are stupid.
    Sent by 
  • What goes in must come out.
    Unless it’s the other way around.
    Sent by 
  • Better to be a pessimist than an optimist because when you say the glass is half empty it will have to be refilled
    Sent by 
  • Sooner or later, you will spill your beer
  • Berneathys directional dichotomy
    West is always East of somewhere
  • Berneathys formula fact
    Instruction manuals are for losers
  • Berneathys guide theorem
    You’re only lost if you admit it
  • Berneathys gravitational paradox
    If gravity is all around us, why can’t you push a fat dog down the stairs?
    Last five laws were sent by 
  • Wet Law
    A spoon placed in the sink will locate to maximize splash from the faucet
  • Pack Rat’s Law
    All horizontal surfaces shall be filled to capacity
  • Wife’s Law
    Anything worth doing is well worth over-doing
    Reply:
    Anything over-done isn’t worth the extra effort
    Last three laws were sent by 
  • It’s no the drop that kills you…. its the sudden stop
    Sent by 
  • When things are going right, you won’t notice
  • The cleverness of Murphy’s Laws is inverse proportion to the number of laws
    last two laws were sent by 
  • The entropy of the universe tends to a maximum
    Sent by 
  • and never forget O’Toole’s Corollary or
    Sod’s Law or
    McGillicuddy Law
    Murphy was an optimist

    Well, there are a lot of people who think he was an optimist, aren’t there?
    Or in other words:
    someone else always seems to get the credit for your work.
    The harder you work the more people there will be to claim credit except when it backfires.
    You get all the credit for the dumb move.
    Murphy was an extreme optimist!
    Says Charles L. Mays
  • And we’ll end this page with something optimistic (don’t hit me).
    Don’t worry about Murphy’s Law, you know it’s gonna happen anyway, so just get on with it and get it over with!
    Sent by Ruth Beaty
  • The humor of Murphy’s Law leaves you laughing at the end of the day.
    If you make it through a Murphy Day…you win!

 

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High IQ Humor – Introvert Flirting

High IQ Humor – Etymology Version

Since I just posted a joke about it below, here is the meme that goes with it.

High IQ Humor – Entomology vs. Etymology

People who can’t distinguish between entomology and etymology bug me in ways I can’t put into words.

 

In Honor of My 600th Post, Here Is My To Do List

WordPress says this is my 600th post, but I know I lost the year 2007 when I switched from Blogger to WordPress because I avoid Google whenever possible.  I likely passed it a while back, but they are gone forever now.

I post a lot about IQ, intelligence, Introverts, tech and a lot of subjects that would provide a platform to post something meaningful, deep in meaning , intelligent, well thought out and well written.  As they say, the road to hell….

In that spirit, I give you a to do list that is sarcastic, funny to me and given the mood I’m in as I write this and very appropriate especially since my last name is Simonds (see number 8).

What Does HA! Mean On A Text? (Or the Worst Single Word Answers)

Ha!

I first got this answer in a text from one of my kids and thought it was only a millennial thing.  They make up text stuff as do the Gen-X, Y, Z and the rest of the alphabet kids.  I didn’t pay attention as they text me all kinds of stuff.  I excuse kids because, well… kids (and also millennials).

I have been getting this recently from people old enough to act like grown-ups but don’t, and I realized it was being used in a dismissive context.

My searches found it to be short for HAHAHA (or HAHA depending on the source), Hello Again, hectares and other various dribble, but my intuition was confirmed when I found this;

This is how the (inarguable! non-negotiable!) list of the Worst Single Word-And/Or-Letter-Expressions To Type Online starts out: 1) K, 2) Nah, 3) :p, 4) Uh, 5) lol, and 6) Ha/Heh.

Ha is interchangeable between the sexes, but both sexes know exactly what these words really mean without the explanation.  K (while meaning OK)was kind of an F-you and the others are sort of meh.

Why is HA! an insult?

The dreaded Reddit gave up this gem: When I have experienced a ‘ha’ it’s usually a lack of interest in having a conversation with me. :/

So, it’s a round about way of saying piss off, I am done with you and/or this conversation.

MEN VS. WOMEN

It is pretty evident that females are more verbal than men.

When boys hit puberty, their responses to most things generally get boiled down to um, ugh, hrrmmph or other monosyllabic answers.  Some get more verbal as they finish suffering through those years and move out from their parents.  Most however can revert back to this form of communication as adults if distracted by sports, TV, video games or a laundry list of available options.  I could take a ha easier from a boy than a girl.  They just don’t talk that much.  The millennial boys don’t use it as much.

Females tend to be more verbal.  They talk their way to the answers instead of men, who think about the subject, tossing out the bad options and then giving an actual/meaningful answer.  So, if you get a one word answer like Ha from any girl of any age, it’s not good for you nor was it meant to be polite.

I pushed my eldest to see if she’d ever used it to blow somebody off and she said maybe, followed by probably.  In her dictionary, that means yes.  I had used the word dismissive in the question so there was no misunderstanding.  She is hip to culture (millennial) so knew it was true.

When I get ha from adults over 50, I pretty much get their drift. I just close the text and move on until they want to grow up or actually have an adult conversation.

As I suspected, ha is a single word equating to “I’ll let you go now” the on phone or best wishes.  I also means I don’t want to text anymore and this lets you think something witty was said while giving you the finger.

People are assholes sometimes.

Ha!

 

 

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Daylight Savings Time Guide To Putting Your Clock Back To Standard Time

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Halloween Humor, Math Style

Humor On Getting Old

#1  I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.
He turned to me and asked, “Are you having it catered?”
And that, my friend, is the sad definition of “OLD”.#2
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
“How old was your husband?”
“98,” she replied: “Two years older than me”
“So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented.
She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?”

#3
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
“And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked.
She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”

#4
I’ve sure gotten old!
I have outlived my feet and my teeth,
I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I’m half blind,
Can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.  Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver’s license.

#5
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, By the time I got my leotards on,The class was over.

#6
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
She wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
“Wal-Mart?” the preacher exclaimed.
“Why Wal-Mart?”
“Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.”

#7
My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be..
Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

#8
Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

#9
It’s scary when you start making the same noises
As your coffee maker.

#10
These days about half the stuff
In my shopping cart says,
‘For fast relief.’

#11
THE SENILITY PRAYER:
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.

Assault Plunger – Humor For When The Shit Hits the Fan

The Assault Nail Gun Rifle is one of the most clicked on posts on this blog.  In that spirit, I thought I’d add to the arsenal.

One Week of September Is a Palindrome Every Day

And as a bonus, there are many famous Porsche’s listed here for those who are in the know.


How Racism and White Supremacy Are The New Godwin’s Law

Authors Note: I have a tendency to notice patterns in both a macro and micro universes. I’ve been watching this one brew for a while now.

FIRST, WHAT IS GODWIN’S LAW?

Reformulated in the Net.Legends FAQs “Usenet Rule #4”:

“Any off-topic mention of Hitler or Nazis will cause the thread it is mentioned in to come to an irrelevant and off-topic end very soon; every thread on Usenet has a constantly-increasing probability to contain such a mention.”

It is generally accepted that whoever is the first to play the “Hitler card” has lost the argument as well as any trace of respect, as having to resort to comparing your adversary to the most infamous mass-murdering dictator in history generally means you’ve run out of better arguments. Thus, once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically lost whatever debate was in progress. This principle is itself frequently referred to as Godwin’s law.

Disclaimer: This blog post does not take a position on racism, it’s prevalence, who is or isn’t or might be racist and my position on this subject. Aristotle noted that the mark of an educated mind is to entertain a thought without accepting it.  Therefore I am observing a speech and behavioral pattern of the public.  In other words it’s on them, not me.

It is also noted that a trait of people with a higher IQ is that you can argue from multiple perspectives (unfortunately so can lawyers and politicians who may or may not be of higher intelligence – especially politicians and especially millennial politicians).

The original Godwin’s Law has lost its’ sting since everyone is now Hitler, so the new talking point is racism or white supremacy. Rather than argue on the merits of the position of the person (political candidates mostly since they dominate the news) the go to is now calling the other person one of these two pejorative names.  This constant overuse has devalued the meaning of the words and rendered them ineffective at worst and boring at best.

Here is a quick search that shows views from multiple points doing just this:

https://www.google.com/search?source=hp&ei=IXpRXZrPHOqH_Qa9hbr4AQ&q=examples+of+politicians+being+called+racist&oq=examples+of+politicians+being+called+racist&gs_l=psy-ab.3…2240.2240..3652…0.0..0.186.324.0j2……0….2j1..gws-wiz.aEnMfNpKcHc&ved=0ahUKEwja48Tux_3jAhXqQ98KHb2CDh8Q4dUDCAc&uact=5

This is in direct conflict with Martin Luther King’s evocative phrase: “I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”  Now, it is common to hear you are a racist or white supremacist because you don’t agree with me.  It greatly devalues MLK’s position.

A General Definition of racism

1a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race, racial prejudice or discrimination.

While I could list any or all of the comments that have been made in public themselves could be racist in tone, one could make the case for or against whether the accused are really racist. Calling someone a racist is easy but proving most of these ad hominem attacks is harder.

One would need to know what is inside the person making the statements to know if it were really true or just talking points. I won’t and am not even sure if I can make that value judgement. These attacks are easy enough to find (see the media below).

This is not the point of this post. I am not here to call someone a racist or White supremacist (or Hitler), rather to point out a trend.

In the department of redundancy department, this discussion is that the replacement for Godwin’s Law is that you are not Hitler, instead you are racist for whatever reason or whatever you say.

Why is this the case? The overuse of Godwin’s Law has made it impotent in political circles, the media and on social media platforms. Hitler stands with few others in history, perhaps Mao, Stalin or Pol Pot as true villains. Nobody really believes that the other person is like Hitler, they are just trying to make the worst case as they flush their argument down the toilet due to lack of substance.

HOW TO WIN YOUR POLITICAL RACE OR PUT YOUR OPPONENT ON THE DEFENSIVE WITHOUT TAKING A POSITION

What most of the accusers are doing is described in Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals numbers 7-13 as follows:

  • “Keep the pressure on.”
  • “The threat is usually more terrifying than the thing itself.”
  • “The major premise for tactics is the development of operations that will maintain a constant pressure upon the opposition.”
  • “If you push a negative hard and deep enough it will break through into its counterside.”
  • “The price of a successful attack is a constructive alternative.”

Rather than argue on a platform, beliefs and issues, it is far easier to make your opponent defend themselves, and put them off their talking points.

Example: Candidate 1) If elected, I’ll lower taxes if elected (insert any issue here because it’s about to be destroyed).

Candidate 2) my opponent is Hitler and molests collies.

Press coverage: Candidate 2 is a well known collie molester. How long has this person been molesting Collies? The first question in the next debate; Candidate 2, are you still molesting Collies?

Now insert the word racist or white supremacist for molesting collies and you get the point of why this is effective.

  • “Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.”

HOW THE PRESS BECOMES AN ENABLER

A common adage is that sex sells, as do murders, rapes, political embarrassments and anything not good news. Guess what they will print (hint: collie molester)?

A not so recent trend is that there is a common thread where a preponderance of reporters has similar talking points concurrently. There is a groupthink that causes the media to focus on a particular phrase, word or subject. Like piranha on carcass, they hammer it home. https://www.google.com/search?q=why+do+news+anchors+say+the+same+thing&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwim9dyQxv3jAhWFB80KHeyQAE0Q1QIoAHoECAsQAQ&biw=1440&bih=825

Since the new go to in Godwin’s Law is you are a racist and/or white supremacist, it makes for headlines that sell advertising. I can also be taken as ideological.  This is the de-facto statement now to the point that it has lost effectiveness.

Having spent decades working with (and against) all forms of media, they have a tendency to take the position of them being right, even if proven wrong. A correction is meaningless as once a statement is printed, it is still in the minds of the reader. Almost no one reads the corrections.

Most are journalists who write about a topic because it is assigned to them.  In the case of social media everyone thinks they have the moral high ground.

SOCIAL MEDIA

I’m not going to spend much time here, because most people have gotten into an Internet argument. Nobody wins unless the motive of one of the combatants is to piss off the other. It won’t matter how factual your argument is because it is just Internet road rage.

If you go to the above link, you see the outcome and great advice on how to handle this.

So the net result of overusing this theme is the same thing that happens with all overuse. Godwin’s Law is becoming meaningless. The definition of what racism really is and when the word should be used to protect the oppressed has been damaged. Even Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals suffers from overuse and tediousness.

The political landscape is a train wreck of who can sling the most mud. Watch the ratings nosedive for upcoming debates.

Stay out of it on Social Media except to observe who isn’t smart enough to stay out of this pool. With each use of the attack, the meaning becomes less valid and meaningful.

I thought about calling someone a racist instead of Hitler the Simonds Law, since I haven’t found this discussion fully hashed out, but I’d rather be associated with something more positive.

Everyone is a loser who engages in this behavior. My advice is grow up or be better educated to discuss your position better than: you are Hitler/racist/white supremacist and whatever the next insult is.

It used to be that to call someone Hitler was the ultimate insult, albeit the indication that the argument is lost.  Has calling them a racist and/or a white supremacist suffered the same fate?

 

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The Ultimate Paper Cut Locator, 100% Effective

4th of July 2019 Tribute

 

It is the celebration of the birth of our nation.  People died for our freedom to start a new country that would arguably become the greatest ever.

My mom was born on the 4th of July.  Captain America, the comic book hero fittingly was also born on the 4th, in 1918.

Nothing is more patriotic to me than the Star Spangled Banner and the Stars and Stripe forever, so here they are.

God bless the USA

Responses By Kids Are Best Because They Are So Honest

Art Linkletter said he loved to interview kids and older people the most.  Kids always told the truth and older people just didn’t care anymore and would say what they thought.  Here is the Kids version.

The Day My Son Became a Fisherman – A Father and Son Memory

This is a story about my young son trying to catch the biggest fish in the pond.

Fathers do things for their children. They take them places and (try to) teach them things.

I like to fish and wanted my son to also like it so we could fish together. I made sure that we went catching instead of fishing. For those who have gone a entire day fishing without catching anything, you know what I mean.

I took him to the fishing show one year to show him around. It is a place where they sell things mostly to catch fishermen’s wallets.

We started the show by dropping quarters into a large fish tank. If the quarter glided through the water and into the shot glass at the bottom, you were a winner with the prize being your choice of worms. He won on the first try and was very excited about it.

I knew his attention span was limited so we went to the trout pond to fish. When I say pond, I mean a temporary pool filled with fish. They were mostly small trout with maybe 3 big boys in the pond (actually the big ones are female). It came complete with plastic palm trees in the middle for décor. You paid your $2 and could keep anything you caught in 5 minutes. The poles were a 4-foot stick with a short line and small hook baited with a mostly inedible piece of plastic half the size of a fingernail.

The odds are with the fish on this one. Especially when they have seen the same bait for 3 days and got fed every night.

My goal was for him to catch anything while I wanted to get enough of the small guys for dinner. I told him that any fish was a good fish.

HUNTING MOBY DICK

Never the small dreamer, he spotted the biggest fish in the pool and said he was going after it. I feared he would be disappointed as everyone threw a line at it, but I knew I could just take him through the line again and tell him to go for something catchable.

I had landed about 3 of the small fish and was well on the way to having dinner by half the time allotted. He kept trying for the big fish (nicknamed Moby Dick).

As time was counting down and I had caught enough for dinner, I heard a huge splash beside me. I looked over and sure enough, my son had hooked Moby.

My new fear was that he would be crushed if the fish spit the hook. The hooks they provided were tiny and easy for the fish get off the line. I saw it happen to every kid before us. If you didn’t get one to the side in less than 15 seconds, it was pretty much over.

This fish was almost too strong for the small stick and line we were given. Over a minute into the fight, it was still on and I knew the odds were against us.

THE FIRST CHANCE TO LOSE THE FISH

Things took a turn for the worse as his fish got wrapped around one of the plastic palm trees. In my mind, I was already preparing to console him for his loss.

I knew I had to try something. After all, I was his Dad so I reached into the tank and grabbed the palm tree. The pond monitors weren’t happy with me but it was my son.

Anyone who ever had a fish on knows that if you get slack in the line, the fish is as good as gone once the line goes taut and the sudden tension pulls the hook out of the fish’s mouth.

To my surprise, Moby stayed on despite the tree incident and he was well past 2 minutes into the fight. Time was now over for that fishing session, but since he had one on we were allowed to finish. We had an audience as everyone waiting to fish and those who just finished could see that he had a good one on.

I decided that if by chance I could get my hands on this fish that I was willing to do anything to get it for my son. I didn’t want him to be disappointed after overcoming virtually everything that could go wrong, just to lose it at the last second. This wasn’t going to be easy, as anyone who has handled a trout knows they have a coating of slime. They are as slippery as greased ice. Landing  them is usually done with a net, which we weren’t allowed to use.

PANIC AT THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

I thought nothing more could go wrong, but to my horror I could see that it was foul hooked (hooked on the body rather than the mouth). My sense of the odds of landing Moby were next to nothing now.

After what seemed like a million circles in the pond, Moby came within my reach and I stuck my hand under the fish and threw it out of the pond in one swoop.

On that day, he had landed the biggest fish in the pond, a Dad was proud and a small boy became a fisherman.

Here is a picture later in life of fishing together.  He learned well

 

How To Talk To Generation Z Using Their Dictionary

Have you ever wondered what the f&*% the kids are talking about lately?  Do you parents want to decode your kids texts?

Below is the Generation Z dictionary distributed by a Mr. Callahan so I point to him if any Gen Z’ers have a problem with it.

 

When thinking about this, I’m sure every generation trashes the previous by describing them as not as learned and their improper use of grammar.  I’m also pretty confident that Shakespeare is rolling in his grave as he probably has done for each generation after him.

I’ve put some screenshots below and full link to the dictionary in PDF form to download.

What I fear is these people will be making decisions about my generation in a few years.

To fully honor this generation, I purposely didn’t put it in alphabetical order just to mess with them.

Generation Z Dictionary Link