There are times that I need to brake on some topics The chemo has me feeling almost sea sick. I still have some humor, life experience and every day stuff.
So unless I fall into the well of yo momma memes, this is the last post on this subject.. Steal them as I need to clear cloud storage space. They are high on my list to remove for the space in my cloud storage
I lose more readers on this category than any other I post about. Try to get that it’s a joke and doesn’t represent who I am, other than I thought some were perfect.
Were I in college, it would be a couple of pairs of extra underwear, a few cases of beer and a few blunts.
Now that my life is half a century later, I’m willing to go to my mountain house. I have my stuff there, I know the place and I don’t have to fly or stay in a germ ridden hotel room that was barely cleaned. I’m getting sicker, so big travel plans are now not in my life
I stayed in an airbnb last year that was a dump. It was completely different from the pictures and description.
So for me, I go to one of my houses and that’s it.
(Note: this is an update. Will B. Done pointed out that the links didn’t work, so I fixed them so you can click and enjoy)
I’ve written this blog since August of 2005. It was originally meant for my job in analyst relations, but took a turn when I retired in 2011. It’s morphed into any number of things from humor, sarcasm, anti-Covid Jab and my ramblings on life.
I start Chemotherapy next week, so it’s going to slow down considerably, although I’ll post from time to time. I’ve scheduled some posts so it will look like I’m continuing as I suffer through the poison they will be putting in me. You’ll read something every day this week, but I’m not collecting headlines. I hope to be back, I just know I won’t have any energy
I want to say that I’ve enjoyed the 10’s of thousands of comments, and different groups of readers.
I mostly wrote it as it is my favorite form of communication. If you read anything about me, you know I’m introverted so small talk isn’t my greatest strength.
I pulled the list of top posts. It’s funny to me that my most successful post is Euphemisms for Stupid, which was number one on Google for over 10 years in that category.
As I look at the list, I see various stages of my life and different careers. I see family, pets and co-workers. I’m especially proud of My Dad. It’s the post, On Behalf of the President of the United States.
I wish you all the best and a longer life than me.
It’s not over, but for sure will not be as consistent.
If anyone wants to guest post, send it to me simonize@protonmail.com and I’ll try to put it up and give you credit.
I was working in the finance division of Burdines Department Stores when the IBM-PC was announced. I had been working with a System 34 and immediately saw my future. This was around 1981.
The head of our DP department said there would be no need for PC’s because you couldn’t do anything with them. So I left
Within months, I was working for the largest Independent PC store in the country and balls-deep into the world of PCs.
It was the biggest open door to opportunity that I’ve seen in my whole life. I knew there was a huge future, and I was about to get in on the ground floor at the very beginning. I started with CPM on Apple II and DOS 1.0 on the PC.
They weren’t ubiquitous back then. I learned more by fixing them and figuring out why they crashed than almost everyone I knew.
The other decision I view as one of my best is to not take the COVID-19 jab. While everyone pressured me to get it, I held my ground. To this day, I don’t regret it and never have to worry about what they put into it. You can never get un-jabbed.
Across the world, scientists have identified over 1.5 million living animal species. One of the perks of being a field biologist to first document a species is they get to name it and that has led to some of the funniest animal names imaginable.
As I was engaged in a highly-competitive game of ‘Bird Bingo’ with my family the other day and appreciating how hilarious some bird names are the idea struck me to bring you all a collection of the funniest animal names on earth. Now here we are!
Ranking 25 Of The Funniest Animal Names In Existence
Many of these are birds but birds don’t have a complete monopoly on the funniest animal names. The list also includes frogs, turtles, sharks, and more. So let’s dive in!
1. American Woodcock
American woodcock bird
The American woodcock (Scolopax minor) doesn’t have just one hilarious name it also has a list of incredible nicknames that include the ‘timberdoodle,’ the ‘mudbat,’ the ‘bogsucker,’ and more. They also have an adorable dance where they rock back and forth.
This is the only species of woodcock native to North America and there is currently one in NYC that is the city’s latest bird celebrity. People are traveling from all over to see the NYC American Woodcock.
2. Blue-Footed Booby
blue footed booby bird
This fella right here needs no introduction, the feet speak for themselves. The Blue-Footed Booby is probably the most famous ‘funny animal name’ on earth for obvious reasons.
They are a marine bird native to the subtropical Eastern Pacific Ocean and have a wingspan up to 5ft but it is their bright blue feet that steal the show.
3. Andean Cock of the Rock
Andean Cock of the Rock bird
I love this bird. The Andean cock-of-the-rock (Rupicola peruvianus) is absolutely stunning. This is actually the bird that was the entire impetus for this list as I had the Andean cock-of-the-rock on my Bird BINGO board when I was playing the other night.
The Andean cock-of-the-rock is the national bird of Peru and found high up in the cloud forests of the Andean mountains in Peru. It would be HARD to miss with the striking colors. Perfect all around, 10 out of 10 looks and name.
4. Tasselled Wobbegong
wobbegong shark
The Tasselled Wobbegong is a carpet shark species native to Australia and New Guinea. They grow up to nearly 6ft in length.
Pronounced ‘wobby-gong’ the Tasselled Wobbegong sounds like a name that an American would come up with while trying to make a joke about Australian accents. The name doesn’t even sound real, but I assure you they are.
5. Pigbutt Worm
The Pigbutt Worm, Chaetopterus pugaporcinus, is also known as the ‘flying buttocks.’ That folks is what I like to call a two-fer because it has two spectacular names.
This deep sea marine worm was first documented by the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute (MBARI) way back in 2007 and it is a tiny one, 10-20 millimeters in length.
6. Sarcastic Fringehead
Sarcastic fringehead
My favorite part about the name Sarcastic Fringehead (Neoclinus blanchardi) is that you can immediately look at this fish and think ‘yeah, that checks out.’ This fish definitely looks like a sarcastic fringehead.
7. Spiny Lumpsucker
Atlantic Spiny Lumpsucker
What did the Spiny Lumpsucker do to someone to earn this name? They’re adorable. Dare I say perfect.
They only grow up to a max of 5-7″ long and are horrible swimmers so they are commonly found attached to something, aka ‘lumpsucker.’ Instead of scales the fish is covered in cone-shaped plates. They also come in an array of colors.
8. Great Tit
three great tit birds flying together
The great tit (Parus major) is found throughout Europe, the Middle East, and parts of Asia. While the name ‘great’ might imply they’re large, as it typically would in nature, these are tiny birds.
They don’t migrate, instead great tits just stick it out wherever they’re born. Living the dream. Spreading laughs worldwide with their incredible name.
9. Dickcissel
dickcissel bird singing on a tree
Found throughout the Midwest states here in the good ol’ U.S. of A, the Dickcissel is a perfect name for this tiny fella. These birds are also found in Central America, northern Colombia, and northern Venezuela during the winters.
Just say that name. Let it roll off your tongue. It’s perfect.
10. Screaming Hairy Armadillo
screaming hairy armadillo on the ground
Someone looked at this thing, heard it make the iconic squealing sound it produces when it is threatened or handled, and nailed it with the name: Screaming Hairy Armadillo. Is it hairy? Sure is. Does it scream? You betcha.
They are found throughout the central/southern portions of South America and dine primarily on insects, invertebrates, and plants.
11. Tufted Titmouse
tufted titmouse birds
The thing about the Tufted Titmouse is if someone asked you what it was, and you were not already aware that it was a species of bird, there is no way you would guess that it was a bird. Everything about the name screams ‘mouse’ of some sort. Alas, it’s a bird.
They are stunners, to be sure. Members of the chickadee family, they’re tiny and beautiful. They can be found throughout the eastern portion of our country and can be spotted by the iconic black forehead.
12. Strange-tailed Tyrant
strange tailed tyrant bird
Someone saw the Alectrurus risora and did them dirty when they named it the strange-tailed tyrant. It was first documented by Louis Pierre Vieillot in 1824 so we at least know who to blame for this.
The strange-tailed tyrant shares a genus with the cock-tailed tyrant, because of course it does. And they are found throughout parts of Argentina and Paraguay where they are excellent fly catchers.
13. Satanic Leaf-Tailed Gecko
rare satanic leaf tailed gecko
George Albert Boulenger must have hated geckos. That is the only explanation for why he would name such a majestic creature ‘satanic’ when he became the first person to document it back in 1888.
The satanic leaf-tailed gecko is also known as the eyelash leaf-tailed gecko or the phantastic leaf-tailed gecko, and they have some of the best camouflage around. They are native to the tropical forests of Madagascar.
14. Boops boops
boops boops fish
I’ve seen this fish a thousand times over the year in the James Bond meme where the text goes something like ‘My name is Bond, James Bond. And you are?… Boops, Boops Boops.’ Or something like that.
The Boops boops is a subspecies of seabream found in the eastern Atlantic with characteristically large eyeballs. Found throughout European waters, they are often pan-fried, broiled, or baked but only when caught fresh because if they are caught and stored the taste turns foul quickly.
15. Dik-Dik
dik dik deer in the wild
What a name! The dik-dik is a small species of antelope found in southern Africa that is absolutely adorable.
They are famous for making a shrill whistling sound because of course they are. It is used to alert other dik-diks and animals when there are predators around.
16. Sparklemuffin
The Sparklemuffin (Maratus jactatus) feels like it got its name from a 1st grader. They are an Australian jumping spider with stunning coloration and the ability to jump more than 50x the length of their bodies.
They are tiny, only measuring around 4-6mm in length, but a leap of 50x that distance is still concerning. Of course they’re in Australia too where every animal is wild in its own way.
17. Chicken Turtle
eastern chicken turtle
Someone in the Southeastern United States got real lazy when they named the Chicken Turtle. They were probably eating chicken roasted over a spit and saw a turtle, pointed at it, and said ‘chicken turtle.’
In actuality, the chicken turtle was first named by two French zoologists back in 1801, Pierre André Latreille and François Marie Daudin, who each published their findings in separate journals after having first observed it near Charleston, South Carolina. If you’ve ever been to the Southeast then chances are you have seen one of these turtles.
18. Pleasing Fungus Beetle
pleasing fungus beetle
This is one of those ‘make your mind up’ names. The pleasing fungus beetle actually encompasses a whole family of beetles. I’m no entomologist but I fail to find anything pleasing about the fungus beetle.
19. Hummingbird Hawk-Moth
hummingbird hawk moth flying
My theory with the Hummingbird Hawk-Moth is three people spotted it at the same time. One swore they saw a hummingbird, another swore it was a mini hawk, and the third was confident it was a moth. When the Hummingbird Hawk-Moth turned out to be a moth that looked like all three they just squished the name together.
They are found from Portugal to Japan and were first described by Carl Linnaeus in 1758. As caterpillars, they are rather unremarkable but as fully grown Hummingbird Hawk-Moths they are stunning.
20. Ice Cream Cone Worm
Ice Cream Cone Worms or trumpet worms measure around 2″ long. Do they look like ice cream cones? In my opinion, absolutely not. But maybe ice cream cones looked like dirty scabs back in the day. They were first documented in the early 1800s so maybe they primarily went by ‘trumpet worms’ early on until ice cream cones hit the market in 1896.
21. Hellbender
eastern Hellbender in the water
The Eastern Hellbender is an iconic species of giant salamander. I have wanted to see one in the wild my whole life but have yet to spot one.
As for having one of the funniest names among animals, the Maryland Department of Natural Resources says “The name ‘hellbender’ probably comes from the animal’s odd look. One theory claims the hellbender was named by settlers who thought “it was a creature from hell where it’s bent on returning.” Another rendition says the undulating skin of a hellbender reminded observers of “horrible tortu”res of the infernal regions.” In reality, it’s a harmless aquatic salamander.”
22. Jackass Penguin
The African Penguin is also known as the ‘Jackass Penguin’ and are endemic to the Old World. Also known as the Cape penguin or the South African penguin, the Jackass Penguin was not, in fact, named for Johnny Knoxville.
23. Hotwheels sisyphus
This name feels like an elaborate prank. Hotwheels sisyphus is a species of Chinese ground spider and the genus is Hotwheels. They were first documented in 2024 which makes the ‘Hotwheels’ designation all the stranger. Didn’t those toys fall off decades ago?
24. E.T. sponge
It is wild how some creature that has existed for untold millennia gets spotted by humans one day and they are like ‘you kind of reminded me of an overrated 80s movie and I’m going to name you after that forever.’ That is basically how the E.T. Sponge, Advhena magnifica, got its name back in 2016 when it was first observed in the Mariana Trench at a depth of 2,028 meters.
25. Mountain Chicken Frog
The Mountain Chicken Frog, Leptodactylus fallax, is critically endangered and found throughout the Caribbean islands of Montserrat and Dominica. Population numbers plummeted by 80% between 1995 and 2004.
The name, Mountain Chicken, comes from the locals hunting them down as a delicacy and the chicken-like flavor.
Iranian targets are being decimated by U.S. forces, paving the way for continued delivery of overwhelming American military firepower. pic.twitter.com/wQUER9cXWw
When the BLM Grift Runs Dry – it was about getting money. Corporations donated $90 billion, and it’s all gone with nothing to show for it. Even some of the mansions bought by Cuellers burned down in LA. It was as big fo a lie as the Climate Hoax. Free money for a lie
Here are some of the posts that got a lot of clicks. Some are funny, all are true, and every introvert will look at it and say yep. I see myself in most of these
Feminizing Star Wars and making it woke destroyed the franchise, one of the most beloved. Girls aren’t hero’s, nor can they defeat men in battle. The only good thing is it helped ruin Hollywood woke crap. It lost Disney billions (when you include the shit they made Marvel into)
Maybe their replacements will know what they didn’t. That women in Hollywood always had equality with men — in front of the camera, on the screen, as real women not fake men.
Kathleen Kennedy Blames ‘Star Wars’ Fans for Not Liking Her Bad Movies – Kennedy can’t see it because she doesn’t want to, but that’s the reason her projects failed. She doesn’t even understand what makes for quality storytelling. To her, it’s as simple as checking some boxes. It isn’t.
Beat the Press – Rubio, Vance and others are tearing the media apart. It’s like College kids vs grade school kids the press has become so biased and programmed.
Europeans and TDS-sufferers in hysterics after Steve Miller’s wife tweets a red, white, and blue Greenland. They are losing their minds, which I find quite entertaining. My wife’s Scandinavian family hates his ass, so this is making me enjoy it even more. They are a bunch of whiners anyway. The Greenlanders say the Americans treat them better.
Trump Pulls US Out Of Notoriously ‘Alarmist’ UN Climate Change Panel – We’ve wasted too much time and money on this hoax. Look what AI did to the Clmate scare as soon as it made more money than grifting for climate handouts and politicians making each others wallets fatter
Temu Radar failed Venezuela – They had the best radar China has, with anti-stealth capability, yet in 3 hours, it was over and they never saw it coming. Bejing better reconsider the World Dominance thing.
6.2L LT4 V-8, 6-Speed – a really nice split window vette. It should go for a lot
It’s OK to be fat now?
What the Hell Was That Pro-Obesity Commercial During Rose Bowl Game? – I wondered what it was about also. It’s the leading killer of people, more than smoking. Sorry fella, lose some weight. You’re trying to tell us it’s ok to commit suicide slowly and live a tough life while doing it?
German Online Streamer walks Streets of Cologne to prove it’s safe, Gets attacked
Songs, without a doubt. I can hear a song and go back to the room I was in and the person I was with, not to mention how I felt.
Here’s an example or two.
I hear Come Monday by Jimmy Buffet, and it’s 3:00 in the afternoon. I’m at work at the Winter Park Towers, my first job. I was mopping the floor after lunch. I was 15 at the time, and I recall the 4-top by the window overlooking Lake Berry. My Uncle lived on that lake, and I could see his house
Here’s another. I was laying the wood to a girl named Leila in her bedroom in Coral Gables, Florida, at 24 years old. She was a cologne girl who sprayed you at the escalator in the Department Store where I worked. Apparently, she had already decided she was going to do me well before I knew it, and she did.
I was always able to control busting a nut and had been going at it with her clock radio playing music. Then Layla, by Eric Clapton came on. On the downstroke, she said it was her song because it was her name. I decided I would keep going until the end of the song just because it was long. We went at it like big dogs, which was unusual as she had a special talent with her mouth that was outstanding. It starts off with a hairband for a ponytail, if you need a reference. She even performed that on me in my office one afternoon. What a good sport.
If either of those songs comes on, I go right back to that time of life.
There are a million more, but I won’t bore you with the rest of my life. Plus, everyone has their own.
Weed may be generally legal in the state of Virginia, but apparently, you can still go to prison for selling it. And not just for a little while, either. One Virginia man was just sentenced to 40 years in prison after he was caught selling weed out of a luxury used car dealership in the city of Newport News, the Virginian-Pilot reports. Can’t have anyone selling a product that’s legal to possess, right?
Without a doubt, Bugs Bunny, Tom and Jerry, and the old Jonny Quest.
Everything I know about opera on Jeopardy, I learned from Bugs. I like all of the Looney Tunes, especially when they break the new lines of political correctness. Road Runner/Coyote, Pepe’ Le Pew, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, Foghorn Leghorn, all were better than anything on today. Who could forget Michigan J. Frog, a classic.
As for Tom and Jerry, the Tex Avery ones are clearly the best. Cat Fishin’, Touche’ Pussy Cat, Pecos Pest, and Spike and Tike are some of the better ones.
Only the original Jonny Quest shows were good. They were far ahead of their time and very creative. The Invisible Monster and the Robot Spy were two of my favorite episodes. After that, the series wasn’t very good. Later in life, I found them on Sunday morning. I’d do a wake and bake and enjoy my childhood all over.
A point of interest is that Tim Matheson is the original voice of Jonny. You may know him better as Otter in Animal House.
I even named one of my dogs Bandit after the cartoon. She was a boxer and is still in my blog, way back in the early years
First of all, I love the comments. Some of you guys are very interesting and funny. I write to different groups, including introverts, the intelligentsia, political individuals, car people, and others. I’m getting to know you all more closely from the stuff you write.
I even connected with one reader who knew Denny from Grouchy Old Cripple, but neither of us knew it until I started AOTW in Denny’s honor.
Once in a while, I get off the wall comments that are out of left field. I saw this meme and thought about it.
I can write some offensive stuff and know it. Hell, I do it on purpose sometimes. I don’t care if you disagree with me, but keep it civil when you write back. My favorite are people who outthink me and write clever stuff.
I also ask questions that are set up by WordPress and answer them as honestly as I can. I love it when people answer them also (Bocopro is a great writer)
I have it set up to approve all comments, and if it gets too out of hand, I’m not going to let it on the page. It just starts a fight I don’t want to see happen and piss off others. If it’s spicy and will start a discussion, I’ll let it go. I also am not going to let people post their blogs that have nothing to do with my post. They have their own blog, and I read it there.
All I ask is that you be civil. I know that the people on the left hate my ass by now, but I don’t care. They aren’t smart and write childish things. I brush that off and move along, which is what they should have done to begin with.
So keep up the commentary. Many of you are better writers than I am. I enjoy reading your stuff.
Corrupt Minnesota Governor and failed Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz claimed strangers are driving by his house and screaming “retard.”
President Trump on Thanksgiving called Tim Walz “retarded” in Truth Social rant against the illegal aliens and Somalians leeching off the American taxpayer.
“The seriously retarded Governor of Minnesota, Tim Walz, does nothing, either through fear, incompetence, or both, while the worst “Congressman/woman” in our Country, Ilhan Omar, always wrapped in her swaddling hijab, and who probably came into the USA illegally in that you are not allowed to marry your brother, does nothing but hatefully complain about our Country, its Constitution, and how “badly” she is treated, when her place of origin is a decadent, backward, and crime ridden nation, which is essentially not even a country for lack of Government, Military, Police, schools, etc…” Trump said.
What does this say about Kamala picking him as her VP candidate?
Delusions of Adequacy 