15 Things That #Introverts Would Never Tell You, But You Should Know

me opening up to someoneI read this article and could hardly believe it.  It was me.  I’ll editorialize between the lines based on past and current experiences, but people should realize that people are different and here is one group that is virtually unnoticed but should be understood.

The link is now broken, but here is the annotated article:

  • Introverts catch a lot of shit for being introverted. The whole world seems

    so enamored by extroverts – the people we know who just want

    to be around people all the time. While we  introverts might

    not want that, it doesn’t mean we’re depressed or

    suicidal or anything wacky like that. There are

    some things you should know about us.

    1. Small talk sucks.

    We’re just not very good at it. We’re typically the big-thinking types.

    We like big ideas and theories. Small talk is uncomfortable.

    We don’t care about the weather or how

    your cat has been doing.

    It is very annoying because it mostly is useless to us. 

    If you need to share so badly,

    check with an extrovert who can’t wait to share back. 

    You just won’t get good

    feedback from us.

    2. Being alone is fine.

    Seriously, we’re doing okay, even if we hole up in our houses for a while.

    We don’t need other people for stimulation. We find that ourselves.

    We’d almost always rather be alone.  We don’t want to be hermits,

    but we are good at keeping ourselves busy and this is

    our comfort zone for life. 

    We don’t have to be with a crowd to do something,

    although we might come

    along once in a while.

    3. We aren’t rude or uptight.

    We might seem like that at first, but get to know us. We’re still a fun bunch

    of friends, we just don’t always acclimate to unfamiliar settings and people

    so quickly.

    Mostly because you are loud and want to be the center of attention,

    something we can’t relate to.  When we find out who you really are

    behind the facade, it’s easy to get to know us, unless you are phony.

    4. Sometimes, we swing both ways.

    We might be introverts, but sometimes we are just so the life of the

    party. We do this willingly when we’re up to it, but we can’t always

    keep that kind of energy going. If we throw a party, great! But give

    us some time to recover.

    Recover is the key word.  We can be with or in a crowd, but afterwords,

    we need time alone.

    5. We have friends. And they like us! Probably.

    People hear the word ‘introvert’ and think of the goth kid sitting alone

    at the food court. That’s a whole different thing entirely. We love having

    friends, and our friends love having us! We put in a conscious effort for

    people we think are worth it.

    We see through those who are not worth it and move on as those who

    have a constant self centered need for attention aren’t real people,

    and likely are far more insecure than we are.

    6. When with the right people, we feel safe.

    Having the right people in our lives is amazing. we really give our

    best selves to the best people. We shine in the right company.

    But sometimes it takes a while to find those people.

    7. We like to write things out.

    Writing is easier than talking for us sometimes. Email is the best

    because it helps us get the thoughts out of our heads without

    being interrupted. Thinking about giving us a call? Try a text or email instead.

    8. We’re super productive.

    Sometimes at least. Usually in our alone time, we’re able to really

    rock and roll on projects that we need to finish. The solitude helps us,

    as we tend to be a bit more distractible than most.

    Especially when you constantly talk about nothing just to talk.  At work,

    the people who have to comment on everything are the worst as

    it usually isn’t productive.  See small talk.

    9. If we don’t like you, you won’t know it.

    It’s the truth of the matter. We hate conflict. So even if we don’t like you,

    we’ll still be nice. It’s a lot easier than being real with you. Especially if

    your feelings are inconsequential enough that confronting you on your

    bullshit isn’t even worth the time. Sorry. Well, not sorry.

    And we move along without you as you just aren’t worth it.

    10. Networking events suck.

    Seriously. Is there a mailing list we need to opt out of? There are few

    things more uncomfortable than a networking party. Except maybe a

    dentist’s networking party that we’ve just been accidentally invited to.

    Yes, so why do extroverts keep trying to drag us into this nightmare?

    11. We don’t like crowds.

    Though I find that after a few beers, I can tolerate it. Introverts tend to

    get overstimulated easily, so big crowds are tough to deal with.

    It’s just not worth it.  Those who have MOP (miss out phobia)

    have to be with the crowd, not us.  See number 2.

    12. Sorry, we probably weren’t listening to your story.

    We care deeply about our friends, but people outside of that

    circle will have a tough time maintaining our attention. It’s not

    that we have ADD or anything like that, we just don’t really

    care about you. On the plus side, we won’t judge you, so feel

    free to tell us all the fucked up things you said to your ex.

    People will tell me anything and everything because

    I won’t repeat it.  But usually won’t remember it either.

    13. Don’t make a fuss out of our birthdays.

    For the longest time, I had a great deal of difficulty

    understanding why I hated my birthday so much.

    Everyone I ever knew would come out and party

    with me! But then I realized: that’s the problem!

    We don’t need to make a fuss out of our birthdays,

    so please don’t do it to us.

    Or any holiday for that matter.  It’s just another day.

    14. We don’t want to make a fuss out of your birthday.

    We can quietly honor the annual birthday, right?

    It’s your day.  You have everyone else making a big deal about it. 

    Let them.

    15. If we’ve chosen to be friends with you, appreciate it.

    We value our alone time. If we see you often, it means that we

    really love you. Just don’t get too bummed out when we

    don’t hang for a week at a time sometimes.

    We’ll likely be the most reliable friend you have, the one

    you can call on when your loud friends let you down.

    But visitors are like fish, they smell after 3 days.

    Hat tip to Higher Perspective.

    What they might not tell you but you need to know is that they are good for your business.

    Here are 15 other things that people misunderstand about introverts and pre-judge them because of it…


  • Bonus: How to date and introvert, by an introvert.

2 thoughts on “15 Things That #Introverts Would Never Tell You, But You Should Know

  1. Pingback: Are Smart People Better Off With Fewer Friends? | Delusions of Adequacy

  2. I had to suffer through my birthday another year. I just wanted to get through it, but still had to suffer from other people trying to make a big deal of it. TBH, there were were people I didn’t even want to hear from, but they wouldn’t let me get through. Damn, was I glad when it was over.


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