Why I Don’t Get Bit By Mosquitos

I grew up in Florida. It’s pretty much the mosquito capital given all the water and year round climate. Other places can be more intense, but for being bit all year long, it’s hard to beat the Sunshine State.

I got bit as a kid as much as others. Heck, we vacationed in a place that has a section of the city called Mosquito Lagoon. It’s some of the best Red Fishing outside of Louisiana.

We didn’t have air conditioning at first when I was young so the window were open. Ever been kept away by the whine of a buzzing biter in your ear. Yes, just like the dentist drill we all know the noise.

I began to notice in my 20’s though that others were getting bit more than me. There were also biting gnats (no see’ums) that were almost worse. You couldn’t see them. You could at least kill some mosquitos if you saw them in time.

I thought that maybe I got anti-bite serum from being bit so much. Then I remembered that as kids, we used to follow the mosquito truck on our bikes in the smoke breathing in what has to be DDT or worse. I figured I had natural immunity.

My dad didn’t get bit much either. As a joke, he said it was the meanness in him that kept them away.

It turns out that some people just get bit more and I’m not one of them.

SOME PEOPLE ARE MOSQUITO MAGNETS

As you may have noticed, mosquitoes don’t attack everyone equally. Scientists have known that the pests are drawn to people at varying rates, but they have struggled to explain what makes certain people “mosquito magnets” while others get off bite-free.

In a new paper published on October 18 in the journal Cell, researchers suggest that certain body odors are the deciding factor. Every person has a unique scent profile made up of different chemical compounds, and the researchers found that mosquitoes were most drawn to people whose skin produces high levels of carboxylic acids. Additionally, the researchers found that peoples’ attractiveness to mosquitoes remained steady over time, regardless of changes in diet or grooming habits.

“The question of why some people are more attractive to mosquitoes than others—that’s the question that everybody asks you,” says study co-author Leslie Vosshall, a neurobiologist and mosquito expert at the Howard Hughes Medical Institute and the Rockefeller University. “My mother, my sister, people in the street, my colleagues—everybody wants to know.” That public interest is what drove Vosshall and her colleagues to design this study, she says.

Scientists have put forth some theories to explain why mosquitoes swarm to some of us more than others, including one idea that differences in blood type must be to blame. Evidence is weak for this link, however, Vosshall says. Over time, researchers began to coalesce around the theory that body odor must be a primary culprit in mosquito attraction. But scientists have been unable to confirm which specific odors mosquitoes prefer.

To answer this question, Vosshall and her colleagues gathered 64 participants and had them wear nylon stockings on their arms. After six hours, the nylons were imbued with each person’s unique smell. “Those nylons would not have a smell to me or, I think, to anyone really,” says Maria Elena De Obaldia, a senior scientist at the biotech company Kingdom Supercultures and lead author of this new study, which she conducted while at Rockefeller. Still, the stockings were certainly odorous enough to entice mosquitoes.

The researchers cut the nylons into pieces and placed two (from different participants) into a closed container housing female Aedes aegypti mosquitoes. Did they migrate to subject number one’s sample en masse or prefer the scent of subject number two’s? Or were both equally appealing? The researchers continued these head-to-head battles over several months, Vosshall says, collecting new samples from the participants as needed. When the tournament was over, the team had clear proof that some people were more attractive than others. Subject 33 had the dubious honor of being the biggest mosquito magnet; they had an attractiveness score “over 100 times greater” than that of the least attractive subjects, 19 and 28, the study authors wrote.

The researchers analyzed the subjects’ scent profiles to see what might account for this vast difference. They found a pattern: the most attractive subjects tended to produce greater levels of carboxylic acids from their skin while the least attractive subjects produced much less.

Carboxylic acids are commonplace organic compounds. Humans produce them in our sebum, which is the oily layer that coats our skin; there, the acids help to keep our skin moisturized and protected, Vosshall says. Humans release carboxylic acids at much higher levels than most animals, De Obaldia adds, though the amount varies from person to person. The new study had too few participants to say what personal characteristics make someone more likely to produce high levels of carboxylic acids—and there’s no easy way to test your own skin’s carboxylic acid levels outside of the laboratory, Vosshall says. (She muses, however, that sending people skin swabs in the mail could make for an interesting citizen science project in the future.)

“This property of being a mosquito magnet sticks with you for your whole life—which is either good news or bad news, depending on who you are,” Vosshall says.

“This study confirms, in a very careful way, that it is true that some people are more attractive [to mosquitoes] than others,” says Omar Akbari, a cell and molecular biologist at the University of California, San Diego, who was not involved with the study but whose recent work focuses on mosquitoes. He adds that the study’s identification of specific carboxylic acids as a key determinant of mosquito attraction is a new contribution to biologists’ understanding of the insects’ behavior. Akbari suspects that the results of this study—which focused on A. aegypti mosquitoes—are probably generalizable to other species of mosquitoes that also primarily prey on humans.

Story here

Introvert Time Again, My Life Up In Pictures

Seriously, just because I’m there doesn’t mean I want to do stuff like small talk. Sometimes I don’t talk just to see if they notice.

Text before knocking

Every day I get older, the more this is true.

I treat people the way they should be treated, accordingly. It’s how I can be nice to one person and an asshole to the next. It’s on you.

I don’t kid about this one. I kill people off in my autobiography a lot.

I Might Watch SNL For The First Time In Years

The snowflake SJW woke little crybabies in NY are so hurt by words that they won’t support one of the best comedians since Richard Pryor.

People that won’t do their jobs should be fired. Then hire un-woke funny writers.

I can’t take the woke crap and Trump bashing. If it were funny, I’d watch like I used to.

With these children gone for a week and Chapelle hosting, it has a chance of being good tonight.

For the rest of the staff, work or be fired.

Generation Z’s Claim To Fame As Arbiters of Emoji’s

Where do I start on this one.

I tried giving them credit for being an upgrade from millennials. I guess I was wrong.

From the Daily Mail:

Why NOBODY should be using the ‘thumbs up’ emoji in 2022 – and the 10 symbols only ‘old people’ use that have Gen Z rolling their eyes

  • Gen Z sees the thumbs up emoji as rude or passive aggressive, they say
  • The emoji is commonly used in casual and professional conversation
  • People aged 35 and over are more likely to use the symbol but it is alienating
  • Other emojis only used by ‘old people’ include ‘crying laughing’ and the heart

By Belinda Cleary For Daily Mail Australia

Sending a thumbs-up can be seen as passive aggressive and even confrontational, according to Gen Z who claim they feel attacked whenever it is used.

Whether the chat is informal, between friends or at work the icon appears to have a very different, ‘rude’ meaning for the younger generation.

A 24-year-old on Reddit summed up the Gen Z argument, saying it is best ‘never used in any situation’ as it is ‘hurtful’.

‘No one my age in the office does it, but the Gen X people always do it. Took me a bit to adjust and get [it] out of my head that it means they’re mad at me,’ he added.

They make you look old. I disagree. I think emoji’s are childish to begin with. I never use them on purpose just for that reason. I never saw them as anything but wasted time or unnecessary info on the text. An answer in emoji’s only is even more childish.

I have friends my senior age that do it, but I refuse. They sort of get it and have stopped it. They weren’t any good at it anyway. They were the thumbs up people

I recognize rest of them though. They mostly come from girls who are too old for this nonsense.

I could put an emoji on the end of this for sarcasm and irony, but I won’t.

Emoji’s are the small talk in texting that I hate in real life. It’s not necessary, ever.

Imagine That, By This Definition, I’m Now A Super Hero

A long time ago an old girlfriend called me Superman, but that didn’t work out.

I did get discriminated against for not being jabbed.

Now this:

In a powerful letter making waves across Europe, French General Christian Blanchon praised citizens who refused the experimental Covid “vaccines” injections. Despite years of pressure campaigns, discriminatory policies, social exclusion, loss of income, threats, and being blamed for other’s deaths, the General thanked the “unvaccinated” for their strength, courage, and leadership:

Even if I were fully vaccinated, I would admire the unvaccinated for standing up to the greatest pressure I have ever seen, including from spouses, parents, children, friends, colleagues, and doctors.

People who have been capable of such personality, courage, and such critical ability undoubtedly embody the best of humanity.

They are found everywhere, in all ages, levels of education, countries, and opinions.

They are of a particular kind; these are the soldiers that any army of light wishes to have in its ranks.

They are the parents that every child wishes to have and the children that every parent dreams of having.

You are made of the stuff of the greatest that ever lived, those heroes born among ordinary men who shine in the dark.

They are beings above the average of their societies; they are the essence of the peoples who have built all cultures and conquered horizons.

They are there, by your side, they seem normal, but they are superheroes.

They did what others could not do; they were the tree that withstood the hurricane of insults, discrimination, and social exclusion.

And they did it because they thought they were alone and believed they were alone.

Excluded from their families’ Christmas tables, they have never seen anything so cruel. They lost their jobs, let their careers sink, and had no more money… but they didn’t care. They suffered immeasurable discrimination, denunciations, betrayals, and humiliation… but they continued.

You’ve passed an unimaginable test that many of the toughest marines, commandos, green berets, astronauts, and geniuses couldn’t pass.

Never before in humanity has there been such a casting; we now know who the resisters are on planet Earth.

Women, men, old, young, rich, poor, of all races and all religions, the unvaccinated, the chosen ones of the invisible ark, the only ones who managed to resist when everything fell apart. Collapsed.

You’ve passed an unimaginable test that many of the toughest marines, commandos, green berets, astronauts, and geniuses couldn’t pass.

You are made of the stuff of the greatest that ever lived, those heroes born among ordinary men who shine in the dark.”


So Meathead couldn’t understand why an intelligent person wouldn’t get jabbed. I didn’t bother to explain it.

I knew the whole time what the story was, and never bought a second of what they were selling. I lived on that island a long time alone just waiting for the truth to emerge.

I took a lot of shit including people saying how sorry they were for me that I wasn’t vaxxed. I knew I had the upper hand the whole time. I sort of felt sorry for those who fell for it, but I wasn’t going to discriminate back.

A Life Lesson About Tomorrows. How Many Are Left?

What does tomorrow mean to us? I thought about that today. It occurred to me that I don’t have as many tomorrows left. As endless as they used to be, I’d grab at a new handful of them. For now, I’m glad to have the next one. They grow fewer every day (sorry, I had to put that in)

Young

When I was young, I never thought about tomorrow. It always came. Some took forever like when I cared about my birthday, and others flew by.

When something has an endless supply, the value is less. It’s economics. I never considered that I’d be working, or retired, or would have kids, a mortgage or any responsibility. Live for today. It was all about today. I had no real yesterday’s to learn from yet.

If I did think about tomorrow, it was the kid dream about being an astronaut or pilot (what I thought about).

That was so long ago and the days between now and then are so numerous that it seems, like another life for me. I’ve lived many different lives within the one I chronologically am still in.

School

I recall sitting in the classroom watching the clock ticking away. Tick, tick, tick towards when I’d be able to go home. Time was endless on those days, and this was just between 2 and 2:15 in elementary school. The only good tomorrow started on Friday.

By the time I got to college, I was aware that life was right around the corner. Still, I enjoyed the day without a care. I ignored that inevitable tomorrow. When it came, it was in the form of an exam, or a girlfriend or another event in life. It was finite and had little consequence as to what my next day held. Still, I had no real cares and a lot of what tomorrow brought was a new experience.

Letdowns started to happen, but the ocean of tomorrows never crossed my mind as I did stupid stuff. I think I lost a few tomorrows by taking too many risks. Somehow I survived and was able to live to the next day, always another tomorrow. It was expected.

Responsibility Years

Life marched on and I grew up, bought a home and started a family. Tomorrows always came, but now they came with other’s problems also. It wasn’t the carefree days when your kid is sick or in trouble. I didn’t have time to think about tomorrow as today brought 10 tons of manure in a 5 ton truck.

So much is happening in your life you take tomorrow for granted or you are too busy to think about anything but today. If you do, those thoughts are invaded with things you have to get done or do for others.

I did notice one thing. I was starting to have a lot of yesterday’s. Some of them happy and some sad. There were lessons learned on both.

The ocean of tomorrows was still seemingly full as it (now) quickly drained away.

Deaths

The first reminders of fewer tomorrows happened here. Those you used to know have run out of tomorrows.

When you are young, say at a grandparents funeral, you can’t comprehend time not being endless for you. By middle age, you know it is closer, but most choose to ignore the reality of time slipping away.

Growing Older

Rarely, do tomorrows bring something new to me. Occasionally, I get a different version of something I’ve been through. I have many more yesterdays now than the number of tomorrows remaining.

The kids are grown. The mortgage is paid off. I no longer work. I’m among the oldest of my relatives now. It brought me to how many tomorrows there will be. Among those, how many will be good or bad? Will there be tough times?

I try to enjoy the days, even if the tasks are mundane. I have less patience for things that don’t seem meaningful to me. My meaningful scale has changed dramatically over life.

From time to time (becoming far too common), people I know run out of their tomorrows. As I sit at the funerals, life comes into perspective for me, at least the part on Earth.

Tomorrows aren’t endless. You only come with so many. Some have more than others and some enjoy them more than others.

Most of life’s struggles are over, except what happens when the tomorrow’s are running out.

Here’s hoping for another tomorrow, and that it doesn’t suck for me.

Biology 101 For The Alphabet People

Also steers:

It’s why they need to stop ruining the kids by trying to pervert them into thinking they are something they weren’t born to be. It’s hard enough to be a kid trying to figure out all of the life stuff while you are skinning your knees or having fun not worrying about inflation, paying the bills or nimrod’s at work.

Even when they go through puberty, all the hormones keep them from figuring out what to do later in the day, much less the rest of their lives.

You can change your appearance (and pretend to be another gender), but not your sex. It’s still XX or XY no matter what you cut off or add on.

And lay off the kids

We Are All Just Prisoners Of Our Own Device

hat tip Woosterman

I have two complete versions of this.

The first is my Introverted self saying this is one of the greatest inventions not to have to talk ever invented. Further, I can also isolate myself from others trying to small talk by putting in earbuds or headphones when it is safe and I want to get away. I’ve used this since movies on planes to not talk to others.

The second concerns potential victims of crime.

Of course there is the lack of social interaction which most people need to function (like a family). They look like the morons in the meme above.

My big one is situational awareness. When they are walking down the street oblivious to others in front or behind, they are a prime target for crime. They never see it coming. I use concealed hearing devices if I’m going to listen, which I rarely do when walking or being out in public other than the gym.

Someone could walk right up to them, commit a crime and they’d be unaware.

There is a more pervy aspect to this I’ve noticed. I walk by a bunch of girls (usually) lost on their phones and the young guys (usually) are looking to see anything if they can. I am very aware of my circumstances and frequently if there is something to look at (good looking person, outburst or any distraction) I look at the people watching the event causing the commotion. It’s much more telling and far more interesting.

There are many times I’ve been close enough to slap someone not paying attention because they are lost on their phone. They’d never see it coming.

In less dangerous scenarios, I often say something very wrong to people engrossed in their phone to see how much they aren’t paying attention. Most of the time, they should be shot, beat them for their crimes, ship them back or any other comment just flies of the heads.

If they do catch what I said, the whole situation is laid bare to the point that I am making, you are so lost in your phone you don’t care about what and who is around you.

Don’t be a target and put the damn phone down and join society.

College Degree’s And Their (Lack Of) Usefulness

See the Harvard short bus a couple of posts down.

Most of what I really learned happened after I started working. I get that an Ivy League degree gets you into the club in New York, but the rest of the world doesn’t care. The good workers rise to the top no matter where you studied.

Now, what you study matters. See below for examples.

I made some references below to everyone going to school. It’s not true. I’ve worked with plumbers who didn’t graduate high school, but had a Ph.D in their hands. They are as successful or more than a lot of college grads I’ve had to put up with.

I think the right college and the right degree are good and can be useful in life. You have to make the right choice on both. I don’t see a lot of that these days by those who need loan forgiveness.

Hello Harvard. The working world is pointing at you.
They teach you to be a victim and to blame others
The Meathead in the family thinks everyone has to go to college.
More evidence for Meathead.

And finally, the truth of the whole student loan crisis.

The Most Dangerous Toys Of All Time

I had a lot of these growing up and made them more dangerous if possible. Instructions? If I read them, it didn’t mean I followed them.

Where were our parents? They bought us these killers and told us to go outside and play. I never had supervision other than don’t hurt the other kids, which was the point of all our games anyway.

I never had a Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab with real radiation.

In 1951, A.C. Gilbert introduced his U-238 Atomic Energy Lab, a radioactive learning set we can only assume was fun for the whole math club. Gilbert, who Americanmemorabilia claims was “often compared to Walt Disney for his creative genius,” had a dream that nuclear power could capture the imaginations of children everywhere. For a mere $49.50, the kit came complete with three “very low-level” radioactive sources, a Geiger-Mueller radiation counter, a Wilson Cloud Chamber (to see paths of alpha particles), a Spinthariscope (to see “live” radioactive disintegration), four samples of Uranium-bearing ores, and an Electroscope to measure radioactivity.

Here are the rest of the 10. If you don’t have the time, lawn darts IS on the list and I threw them at other kids and had them thrown at me.

Now, the Karen’s of the world have ruined the fun, or tried to make it woke.

Childhood Games – Car Pool, With The Car Doors

After reaching both puberty and achieving my drivers license, we drove around and made up games. It was sort of like video games in real life.

Everyone has been in a car and someone scores a target based on how many points you get if you open the door by driving and hit them, or just hit them with the car. Before you gasp, this was teenage boys showing off without ever following through. It garnered a good laugh and we always did the same. We drove past the target and counted the score based on who called it first. No lives were lost that I know of.

But here were the rules…..

Old People or disabled – no score as they moved slow and are too easy to hit

Mooning old people – extra points if they grab their heart and gasp (ok, we really did this one)

Young couples or families – a double score, but still low as the kids are like old people, slow and easy

Regular pedestrians – multiple score if you get more than one

All of these are walkers, and aren’t much of a challenge. For higher scores, move on to….

Bikers – A fairly high score as they are a moving target and satisfying if they are holding up traffic. This can only be scored with an open door as hitting with a car wouldn’t be a challenge. The faster the biker, the higher the points. Multiple bikers garners a multiple score, like a 7-10 split.

Motorcycles – A very high score as they are fast. A lower but more satisfying score if you open the door while stopped in traffic and catch one cutting between cars.

Animals -no score as you should lose points if you hurt one. They don’t know you are playing a game.

Practice – revving your car while stopped before someone crosses the sidewalk, then waving them to cross as you keep revving. The smart ones will just say no and not cross.

How To Know Who You Really Are – Try Writing Your Own Eulogy

An acquaintance’s father passed away a few years ago. He was an adjunct to a Five Star General in WWII and a press officer for IBM. He wrote his obituary and his funeral notice. It was spectacular. Not because it touted all that he had done, but that it was clear and concise. When my uncle died, I got that he was a pilot, but not much else and he did a lot of other things that would have been nice to hear.

It’s because someone else wrote his obituary. And there you have the key.

Write your own eulogy and find out what you want the world to know or not know about you. It’s harder than you think because you only have a short space to get in what are the highlights.

A BIGGER PROJECT

For me, it went to exploring the rest of my life and before I knew it, I’m writing about kindergarten or my 3rd job. No one will ever read it, but I finally found out that things like me being an introvert were there all along. My life would have been a lot easier if I’d have known the things I wrote. Sure, it’s hindsight, but the pattern was there. I wonder why it took me so long to see some things.

I remembered teachers (back to kindergarten), classmates, situations, jobs, life and so much that I couldn’t type fast enough. I knew I’d have to edit and re-edit for details and accuracy, but if I could remember it, I wrote it down. I forget a lot of stuff now anyway.

It fell out on the pages who was loyal or a back stabber to me. What was it that I expected or deliverd to friendships. Who I could count on and who I could count on to try to cause me difficulty or harm (mentally or physically).

I realized who was actually a friend and why, and who was passing through that time of my life, but didn’t remain. As I have said, there are a lot of characters in my autobiography who don’t make it to the end.

MY EULOGY

Guess what I haven’t finished yet. That’s right, the original project. I got so enthralled with trying to recall memories that sometimes would flood my mind, or that one deep memory that I hadn’t thought about in decades.

I’m going back to it as I need a break. It wasn’t just the writing, but having to re-experience feelings and situations that I’d buried were mentally taxing. I haven’t been blogging much as it has been overwhelming.

DO IT

Why? You will find out more about yourself than you could imagine. You think you know who you are until you write about your warts and missteps, the awkward things you said that you wish you could take back. Why you react the way you do instead of being more effective, especially when you are protecting your inner self.

I found out who I was and why I act the way I have. I got to re-visit a lot of times in my life. While writing, I put myself back into the 6 or 12 year old to feel those times again the way they were, instead of how my mind changed them over the years. Then, I thought if that moment affected my life later. Most times the answer was yes.

There were times I couldn’t type fast enough and had to keep a separate list of all the things I needed to write about. Conversely, I didn’t want to go back after vomiting up memories, joys and pain, success and failures in my life. I didn’t want to write the pain, but it felt better after having said it.

I’ll keep the eulogy, but delete the life story, no one cares anyway other than me. I won’t care soon either.

I guess I’d better get around to that Eulogy now so the kids don’t screw it up.

Oh Dear God, Yes, Please Stop This Horrible Event

Dear Workplaces, Churches, and Schools, PLEASE Stop Doing Icebreakers. Signed, Introverts.

I read Introvert Dear, most of which I agree with, but even introverts come in different flavors. Today they wrote an article that resonates with me.

When taking multiple personality tests, I always came up with the same 4 letters and the strongest was I (introvert), always. The rest define me also, but not for this post.

See 15 things Introverts want you to know, but might not tell you and look at networking events. They are the worst nightmare for us. Force a bunch of people together and let them talk about themselves until perhaps you might find something in common. That is hell for me. It’s like small talk, something else I loathe. I prefer the silence, almost every time.

Want to meet me and watch me talk passionately? I do stuff I am passionate about, and then find people who have that in common and we naturally connect, without the social pressure of being forced to.

Here is an excerpt from the article:

Icebreakers are supposed to be “fun,” but many introverts absolutely dread these activities because they force them into the spotlight.

Being an introvert at work has always been hard, but most days I get by just fine by minding my own business. For the most part, I don’t mind my job, and sometimes I even enjoy it.

Except when it comes to staff meetings.

I’ve been lucky that most of my past jobs haven’t required weekly staff meetings, because honestly, I’m not sure I could handle that. My current job only has quarterly staff meetings, but they’re enough to drain me and stress me out.

In fact, the most recent one was so difficult that I’m still reeling from it.

It’s part of why I hate family reunions and holidays. It’s forcing people together, only some of whom want to be there.

These are extrovert rules forced on us in public.

Another excerpt:

Why Introverts Hate Icebreakers

Not all introverts hate icebreakers, but many of them do, especially introverts like me who suffer from anxiety. I’m sure there are some extremely confident and self-assured introverts out there who have no trouble speaking in front of a crowd, but that’s never been me. (me: I can do it but hate it and it’s an act when I have to do it. Hell, I hate being at a small gathering and having to act like you are interested, when in fact most times people are more interested in talking about themselves. It’s like a Facebook post to get the most likes by telling the good parts about your life).

Why do introverts tend to feel uncomfortable during icebreakers? For one, an icebreaker forces you to become the center of attention. Whereas extroverts may enjoy being in the spotlight, introverts may find it overwhelming. In general, introverts thrive in calm environments where there isn’t much stimulation. I can’t think of a more stimulating situation than a roomful of eyes watching your every move! For introverts, all this attention may simply put their nervous system in overdrive. (I hate Christmas for this).

Also, icebreakers are supposed to move quickly, so there’s little time to think about what you’re going to say or do. Although no one likes being caught off-guard, for introverts, it can be especially difficult to think of something to say on the fly. That’s because the introvert’s brain might be wired a little differently in this sense. According to Marti Olsen Laney, author of The Introvert’s Advantage, we “quiet ones” may rely more on long-term memory as opposed to short-term or “working” memory, which makes us a little slower to gather our thoughts and speak out loud (it’s because we’re processing our thoughts and experiences deeply). Extroverts, on the other hand, may do the opposite. (Here’s the science.)

Personally, even when I come up with something to say, it never comes out quite the way I planned it in my head. I might stutter or stumble or mix up my words. In turn, this spikes my anxiety even more and leaves me feeling frazzled and embarrassed… all in front of people I work with… in a situation where I am trying to make a good impression. I know icebreakers are supposed to be “fun,” but I, like many introverts, absolutely dread them.

Introvert Confidence

There is nothing better than when people cancel plans on me, even if I wanted to do something as I usually can do it alone anyway.

The more I think about it, the less I want any more people in my life wanting to do stuff together. At this point I’d rather just not have to deal with them.

Here is the kicker. I stopped caring if people liked me in high school. Once I learned that lesson, life is much less complicated. If they talk bad about me, I just kill them off figuratively in my Autobiography. Not all characters survive in stories. Very few do in mine.

Lawn Darts And Dodgeball, Life’s Video Games

I loved lawn darts. It’s like eating a tootsie roll pop. You always bite it. With lawn darts, you take maybe 2 throws at the circle and then you are aiming at the other kids. Now, micro aggression’s need safe spaces in case I hurt you with an incorrect pronoun or say a forbidden word. How sad it is that you can become so shallow that words thrown childishly and generally out of context hurt you.

Now for dodgeball. They don’t let kids play it because the unwritten rules are kill the fat kids and girls first as they are the slowest and easiest to hit. It’s why lions kill the slowest in the heard. They are the ones that got a good game banned because they couldn’t win. Note: This game is a good lesson in life, survival, awareness and loyalty.

Loyalty in dodgeball? Yes. When it’s down to a couple of kids, you don’t throw at your friends first. It spilled over into class and life.

Did we aim for the body? If it was available, otherwise a head shot was good for stories 2 days later that everyone enjoyed until Karen’s came along.

If they would stop banning the good games (also red rover), maybe kids would go outside more.

Which Is The Ex With No Brain And Which Ex Is The Rat

I know for dead sure who the rat is. It’s an ex of mine who served cokes in the sky for a living. It turns out she was also the cheating bicycle in the sky that many other guys got to ride while away on trips, behind my back of course. As for no brain, there is a long list with a lot of them competing to be in the top 10, but can’t even make that list either. The bicycle had stewardess friends who lied to my face as they knew she was cheating on me, with surprisingly little remorse. I always found that revealing about her and her friends. It was a pattern for her.

I’ve met a lot of rats who seemed to function without a brain. Some are in my family. I went to high school with a den of rats. Most that worked with in Armonk or Somers for IBM were that. How they made it through life is beyond me. They are like Forest Gump, only not rich, not famous, not good looking, not friendly and are just surviving at this point. Yet here they are, probably able to survive a nuke with the roaches, in NY

UCF, Anti-Free Speech Overruled As First Amendment Prevails

No one gives much of a crap about colleges unless it’s theirs or it’s Football season or the Final Four, or they embarrass themselves.

Well, I graduated from UCF, although it was named Florida Technological University. It was started during the Apollo moon program to develop engineers for NASA. When that stopped, they had to try to be a business college.

I’m ashamed enough of what they have become that I changed my college to Faber College on LinkedIn. Knowledge is good.

I led the student advisory committee in the late ’70’s which recommended that the school start a football program. It is a big money maker and they have been nationally ranked. I won’t even go anymore. Hell, I’ll pull against them when they cross the line now as right is right and wrong is wrong.

It was all OK until they went woke, became a bunch of snowflakes and free speech Nazi’s. Now, they nationally are rank(ed) (smelling because being Woke). Unfortunately, I also went to school with some of the now board of directors (M. Grindstaff) and I’m not surprised that this group would allow this bias and contempt for the Bill of Rights. A lot of them are lawyers so what do you expect?

UCF fired tenured professor Charles Negy for tweeting the truth about black privilege, but it doesn’t matter, free speech should be protected (except for Negy). There is enough acidic speech against the position he was fired for that should have had them look at the real violations committed by UCF, it’s directors and spokespersons.

It turns out they violated free speech, Negy’s rights and acted like spoiled children. I’m embarrassed to be associated with them. I vowed never to step back on campus once I graduated and never have, knowing the kind of people they have running and advising it to be anti-constitutional. They had to re-hire him with back pay, bonus and tenure. Justice is served.

UCF is against freedom, free speech and the first amendment. Worse, they are Woke, a scarlet letter. They discriminate against conservatives, professors and white people. They also show a serious lack of judgement on their Board Of Emeritus Directors.

Get woke, go broke and be a loser, like UCF.

Story:

We previously discussed the effort to fire University of Central Florida Professor Charles Negy after he tweeted about “black privilege.”  UCF President Alexander Cartwright abandoned any pretense of academic freedom or principle in failing to protect a colleague from an anti-free speech campaign. Now, after a major court ruling against the university, an arbitrator has awarded Negy all back pay and benefits from the time of his firing.  That is good news. What is not good news is that, despite shredding core principles governing higher education, Cartwright remains the UCF president.  To the contrary, the university issued a statement that indicated that it is undeterred by the adverse court rulings. Negy, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Central Florida, required police protection after he tweeted about what he views as “black privilege.” There was a petition demanding his termination with more than 30,000 signatures and, as we have seen in other schools, his colleagues were virtually silent as Negy was attacked for expressing his views.  While classroom misconduct has been raised by some critics, most of the effort (and the focus of this posting) is on his statements on social media. That petition focused on Negy’s statements on social media as unacceptable and grounds for termination:

“We are calling on the University of Central Florida to dismiss psychology professor Charles Negy due to abhorrent racist comments he has made and continues to make on his personal Twitter account. In addition to racism, Negy has engaged in perverse transphobia and sexism on his account, which is just as reprehensible. While he has a right to free speech, he does not have a right to dehumanize students of color and other minority groups, which is a regular occurance [sic] in his classroom. By allowing him to continue in his position, UCF would simply be empowering another cog in the machine of systemic racism.”

Negy faced protests at his home and on campus, according to news reports  after he explored the concept of “white shaming” as an academic, including his book “White Shaming: Bullying Based on Prejudice, Virtue-Signaling, and Ignorance.”

Negy’s work is highly controversial and his tweets have inflamed critics. In a now deleted tweet, he wrote “Black privilege is real: Besides affirm. action, special scholarships and other set asides, being shielded from legitimate criticism is a privilege. But as a group, they’re missing out on much needed feedback.”

He has also written, again on Twitter, “If Afr. Americans as a group, had the same behavioral profile as Asian Americans (on average, performing the best academically, having the highest income, committing the lowest crime, etc.), would we still be proclaiming ‘systematic racism’ exists?”

Again, the question is not the merits or tenor of such writings but the right of academics to express such viewpoints. There have been few comparable protests when professors write inflammatory comments about white culture or white privilege.

UCF President Alexander Cartwright told students that the university would investigate Negy, and that he and his Administration “are acutely aware of the offensive and hurtful Twitter posts that professor Charles Negy has shared on his personal page. These posts do not reflect the values of UCF, and I strongly condemn these racist and abhorrent posts.”

We recently discussed the Eleventh Circuit ruling against Cartwright and the university over its discriminatory-harassment and bias response team policies as violative of the First Amendment. The Eleventh Circuit overturned a district judge’s rejection of a preliminary injunction against the policy: “[I]t is imperative that colleges and universities toe the constitutional line when monitoring, supervising, and regulating student expression. Despite what we presume to be the very best of intentions, it seems to us substantially likely that the University of Central Florida crossed that line here.”

In oral argument, the university’s own lawyer struggled to define the terms or to say whether particular statements might be deemed prohibited. The court noted:

“The discriminatory-harassment policy’s imprecision exacerbates its chilling effect. To take just one example, what does it mean for one student’s speech to ‘unreasonably . . . alter’ another student’s educational experience? Both terms — ‘unreasonably’ and ‘alter’— are pretty amorphous, their application would likely vary from one student to another, and the university’s totality-of-known-circumstances approach to determining whether particular speech crosses the line only makes matters worse.”

Just as the university spent a huge amount of time and money to fight for these unconstitutional rules, it has litigated the matter over Negy to seek to strip him of his job and all benefits due to his exercise of free speech.

After teaching psychology at the school since 1998, Negy, 61, was fired in January 2021. As Cartwright turned the weight of the university against him, Negy had to sell his house to pay his lawyers.

The arbitrator noted that, while the school added objections to his teaching style, Negy received outstanding teaching reviews. Moreover, he noted Negy “demonstrated a willingness to entertain some change in his style of instruction; however, the record is devoid of any clear evidence that any member of his management requested such effort.”

Chad Binette, assistant vice president of UCF communications, indicated that the university remains undeterred by these losses. He stated that “UCF stands by the actions taken following a thorough investigation that found repeated misconduct in Professor Negy’s classroom, including imposing his views about religion, sex and race. However, we are obligated to follow the arbitrator’s ruling.”

What is not clear to me is how Cartwright retains his position as president in a Florida public university after such a record of attacks on free speech and academic freedom. He has not only sought to impose anti-free speech conditions on faculty but spent copious amounts of money seeking to preserve those rules and uphold those actions. These principles are the essence of any university and their abandonment constitutes a rejection of Cartwright’s obligation as a university president. I would not support his termination as an academic but, as an administrator, he has shown a serial failure to defend his faculty and free speech. Until university presidents are held accountable for failing to defend free speech, they will continue to yield to every flash mob that forms on a campus.

Peeing In The Men’s Room, The Unwritten Rule We All Know

And, you if by chance you do break the next rule of look ahead and not at the other guy, you only are allowed to look each other in the eyes.

Guys learn this without being taught. No matter what socially/politically correct spew that comes out of their mouths outside the bathroom door, once you enter the rules are the same for everyone, everywhere.

If you are spatially aware (like a Seal or Spook), you go to the stall where you can’t get attacked from behind, but that is skill level 10 for dangerous people.

Get Woke, Go Broke, Disney Style

I don’t think they will go broke really, but the stock value is down 33% after incorrectly interpreting a Florida bill and picking sides against the family. They have branded themselves the enemy of good, and what 98% of families are made up of, the 2 genders that they were born as.

Half the Disney people will love them for doing this because that is how the country is. They are losing the good people though.

Walt would turn in his grave with how his company is being run.

Now That I’m Grown, What Did I Get For What I Wished For?

I’ve been reminiscing about when I was young. I’d flit from one thing to the next, never worrying about what was around the next corner. I didn’t plan for tomorrow unless it included fun or something for me to do that wouldn’t affect my retirement.

Now, I can’t take a dump without working out what I’m going to do next and plan my time around it.

My kids are grown now, but I told them to not grow up too fast. They all have mortgages, plus pets and kids that rely on them, like they did on me.

I hurt a lot more now. I’m sore from my first round of golf of the year yesterday, and I didn’t even go at it that hard.

Life.

The Rotting Of Disney

I grew up in Orlando, before there was a Disney. There was Disneyland in California and Disney on TV, but the Tragic Magic Kingdom hadn’t struck the world with the force that would be Disney World.

I also remember Walt Disney talking on TV, espousing entertainment and fun. It was about family, fun and fantasy. We could all sit around the living room and not worry about any untoward messaging or images.

Orlando and Disney are very much different. Both have exploded in size and money. It paved the way for the purchase of both Marvel and Lucas Films. Behind all of it though it was changing. I stopped going or supporting anything they do, which is hard for a Marvel and Star Wars fan. Fortunately, the last few Marvel films and the last 3 Star Wars releases were all terrible.

I recall when they had the first Gay Pride Day or whatever they called it. The problem was that they didn’t tell the families and the church groups that a bunch of dudes would be dressed in girls clothes (or less) and would be doing disgusting things in front of little kids.

The dust ups inside the park were swept under the rug so that it got no media attention.

The hiring of Eisner and Kennedy have spread wokeness, diversity and perversion into the movies and parks ever since.

Disney has chosen a “hill to die on”: They want to overturn the new Florida law that stops the indoctrination of little children, from pre-kindergarten through third grade, with woke, sexual, gender-identity brainwashing and transgender equality education. Keep in mind that we’re only talking about 5- to 8-year-olds. What parent could possibly disagree? What parent visiting Disney could possibly disagree?

But Disney doesn’t care. They are intent on alienating the tens of millions of parents who believe that 5- to 8-year-olds shouldn’t be sexualized at school and that those same 5- to 8-year-olds shouldn’t be taught to change their sexual identity like they’re changing a pair of sneakers. Can you imagine? Disney has chosen this hill to die on.

The president of Disney recently bragged that she will make sure half of all characters in Disney movies, television shows and videos are either gay, lesbian, trans or other minorities. I have no problem with that. America is a free country. But I hope she and her Disney bosses have no problem if conservatives, Christians and patriots decide to never again visit any Disney theme park or spend a dime on any Disney product.

Source for below

“Wokeness,” said Greg Gutfeld on Fox, “takes stuff that you love and can turn it to poison.” A recent example of this poisoning has been supplied by the Walt Disney Company, which used to be the purveyor of Mickey Mouse and other things American. Disney’s current management has been seduced by the powerful LGBTQ lobby. The company has announced that, from now on, 50 percent of its characters will be LGBTQ or minorities.

In a shameless case of overreach, Disney attacked a new parental rights law just passed in Florida that bans instruction concerning sex from kindergarten through the third grade. A strong majority of Floridians support the law. Disney doesn‘t give a damn. Following the lead of the left-wing media, Disney has attempted to mischaracterize the law as anti-gay.

The important thing to realize is that a majority of Disney employees are not in lockstep with their management. Jose Castillo, a current Disney employee who is running for Congress in Florida as a Republican, said that the “silent majority” of Disney employees supports the parental rights law despite the loud minority leading Disney to oppose it. “Disney and similar corporations listen to the loudest voices in the crowd,” said Castillo. “The Disney cast members who support the parental rights far outnumber those who are protesting against it.” English broadcaster Piers Morgan summed it up: “You’ve got this small group of very woke people that bully companies into following their very narrow worldview.”

What about the majority of Americans — do they accept wokeness? The answer is no. Wokeness is an example of what I call the tyranny of the minority. “The actual number of the woke remains small,” says Scott McConnell, “perhaps six percent of the population, according to Pew surveys of American political attitudes. It is educated, it is mostly white, it is heavily concentrated in the media and universities. But it isn’t powerful enough to control the country if majorities are mobilized to resist it.”

Florida Lt. Gov. Jeanette Núñez, R., argued that Disney, the “most magical place on earth,” has now digressed into the “most hypocritical and woke” place. The Florida lieutenant governor made these comments after Disney faced backlash over its stance on the parental rights bill signed into law this week by Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, R.

LT. GOV. JEANETTE NUNEZ: We stand here in Florida…on behalf of the rights of parents, and it’s a sad state of affairs when the most magical place on Earth has now digressed into the most hypocritical and woke place on Earth… Governor DeSantis and I, we don’t take our marching orders from California corporate executives that want to push a radical agenda on our children. 

They’ve tarnished their brand with their most recent political activism targeting Florida’s Parental Rights in Education Act — a bill most Americans support.”

Yet she still wishes for the best. “My hope,” she said, “is that the company comes to its senses, remembers who their customers are and gets back to doing what they do best: Entertain ‘dreamers of all ages.’”

Get woke go broke usually. I don’t think Disney will go broke, but a lot of parents have to ask themselves, do I want to take my kids to a place where they are against traditional family values.

They are ruining the movies. They are woke there also. Anytime you can get rid of a white male, it’s Disney’s new rules.

In yesterday’s meeting Disney’s corporate president, who says she has both transgender and pansexual children, noted that while Disney has had many gay and trans characters in their stories, they want to make more gay and trans lead characters because they haven’t been doing enough of that:

SCOOP: Disney corporate president Karey Burke says, “as the mother [of] one transgender child and one pansexual child,” she supports having “many, many, many LGBTQIA characters in our stories” and wants a minimum of 50 percent of characters to be LGBTQIA and racial minorities. pic.twitter.com/oFRUiuu9JG

— Christopher F. Rufo ⚔️ (@realchrisrufo) March 29, 2022

I love watching Star Wars and Marvel shows on Disney+ but I fear that soon I won’t be able to watch any of it. I know that Marvel has already started doing that with one of their new movies, The Eternals, and I stopped watching that one as soon as I saw two dudes kissing. It was easy though because the movie, up to that point, was pretty boring.

They are choosing this even though gay employees aren’t behind Disney and say DeSantis is doing the right thing.

Not Being Able To Come Back In Time With A Retort: The Story Of My Life – Introvert Troubles

I win almost every argument, hours after it happened. Most people I know can come back with a line that cuts you off at the knees and I can’t think of mine. I’ve given up on the childish retorts and name calling.

It’s always clear to me after the fact what I should have said, and more often than not, I was right, just not in time.

It was the same on the schoolyard. I won very few verbal confrontations.

What have I learned. Don’t play in games that you can’t win. I refuse to talk until I’m ready. I have learned to at least comment that the other person’s retort was mean, uncalled for and at least wrong. After I spend the time dissecting the other person’s points, they have usually forgotten the discussion.

There has been a rare occasion or two in my life when I said the right thing at the right time and surprised the heck out of everyone present. It’s not as satisfying as it would seem because you never know how much you’ve actually won.

Don’t embarrass yourself if you don’t come back. It’s a child’s game usually.

When I do unload though, stay out of the way as I’ve brought enough ammunition to destroy a college debate team.

Mostly, I’ve learned to walk away and realize that it isn’t that important.

My favorite is to get them to realize they were wrong by bringing it up in another conversation, usually days later because I couldn’t think of it at the time.

Why I Post Introvert Information. Hint, It’s Not Just For Introverts (plus meme’s to share), But Mostly Ranting

When I post meme’s, I soon find them on social media platforms (that I haven’t left, but people send it to me). Please, copy and share it so others will understand.

For the extroverts, the world isn’t about you. Take some time to understand that although you are louder and have apparently made the social rules that introverts violate, you aren’t the center of the universe. It also means you don’t have to try and cure Introverts. We are happiest if you’d take the time to understand why they are different than you, and are happier about it than you seem to be.

If you want to speak to me, talk about meaningful and deep subjects and I’ll talk all day. If you small talk, my body may be there, but I guarantee my mind is somewhere else. I have a whole world in my mind that I can go to that no one else is allowed in, unless you have passed the real friendship level.

And another thing, I hate having to listen to people at parties (if by chance I can’t get out of going). It is literally a facebook conversation where everyone is telling as much information about themselves as possible to get likes. I would never share that much information. Plus, it just causes small talk, one of the most wasteful uses of time possible.

I cringe when I hear people share this much information. I don’t care about them at this level, but really, there is a lot of personal stuff that you just shouldn’t talk about. It always comes back to bite you and yes, the other person is judging you and criticizing you inside no matter how nice you/they seem, bless your heart. Seriously, I don’t care about most of what your are talking about because you never asked if I was interested. If I wanted to know, I’d ask. Extroverts assume people care about their problems or things/other people that I’ll never meet. I do care about your pets though.

I will check out your bathroom because that’s where I’m going the minute the conversation drones on or my energy battery has hit empty.

Here’s a good hint, the minute I enter a room full of people, I check out the escape routes so I can get out/away as quickly as I have to. I see if there are any pets to play with. They are usually more interesting than small talk.

So here are the latest meme’s to share. Please steal them and post everywhere.

That’s not just high school. Go back to elementary, Jr high, even college. No reunions for me.
In case you thought I was coming or wanted to small talk
See above, especially WPHS
I left that shit show a while back. My life was immediately better

This one above is for my ex’s, most people I went to school with and most that I worked with.

Extroverts who have to dominate the conversation, see the people I had to grow up with, including some family.
Oh Dear God, thank you.
Be very careful. I can be the best and worst of both. Once you cross me, don’t bother trying to be friends again, it ain’t happening.

The New Girl Scout Cookies This Year

The woke can ruin everything they touch.

When I was raising a girl scout, I bought dozens of these waist killers. I brought them into work one day and offered them to my co-workers. While most declined or took one or two, Laura Knapp, from the NHD proceeded to knock down an entire sleeve as I watched in disbelief. I thought it was an imposition on my generosity, but then she was in the meme.

Pencil Trick For Girls, Towel (Doughnut) Hanger For Guys

Hanging a towel on your junk is a joke that Jeff Foxworthy made about the side effects of Viagra. I learned about the pencil trick from off color office banter at some point in my working career.

They aren’t fooling me about what they are hanging doughnuts on. It’s below the belt humor.

People do this when they get bored. It is sophomoric, but funny to me as I have a 12 year old’s sense of humor.

Lift up your top, put a pen or pencil under your breast ...

This Happens To Me A Lot

Being an introvert, I get along well with pets, especially dogs, and surprisingly little kids.

The kids thing is they haven’t been ruined by adults yet, and are sort of like pets.

It’s people I have the most trouble with. Most of that trouble is just not wanting to be around them or small talk if I don’t have to.

Pets are great and we understand each other.

On Being Alone, Be A Rebel About It – Introvert Stuff

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do stuff with others. I like them, but my ability to want to hang with people grows shorter every day.

Just leave me alone. I promise I’ll leave you alone.

If I want to talk, I promise you’ll know. If I want to know something from you, I’ll ask.

I enjoy being alone more than with crowds. I’ve had a lifetime full of that and have never felt the need to be a part of one. That includes standing in lines for something (like Disney) or wanting to be accepted in someone’s social circle (that has stupid clique rules).

FWIW, my name is John, and I don’t give a fuck.

Oh FFS, M&M’s Are Becoming Inclusive And Woke

First, they stop sponsoring NASCAR, now they are being inclusive. When will these companies learn that most regular people don’t want to hear about this crap.

I don’t eat much candy anymore, but I’ve loved M&M’s since I was a kid, especially peanut.

At least the green one is a girl, because I always picked them out to eat last.

The reality is every one of them is the same to a color blind or blind person. A little food coloring is the only difference.

I hate everything Woke and I’m going to have to really think about this one as I usually boycott everything woke. Fortunately, I love Reece’s pieces, which are the same thing.

Could we go back to melt in your mouth and not in your hands please?

Story here.

he beloved M&M characters are becoming more “inclusive” with several changes that are subtle but noticeable.

Mars Wrigley, which owns M&Ms, announced on Thursday a “global commitment to creating a world where everyone feels they belong and society is inclusive.”

The green M&M character will lose her peach-colored legs and stiletto boots in favor of white legs and sneakers after criticism that the character was sexualized. Mars said it wanted the green M&M to be “better represented to reflect confidence and empowerment, as a strong female, and known for much more than her boots.”

….it goes on, but it’s not worth reading. Just like the rest of being woke or PC, it’s nonsense by people that have too much time on their hands and are looking to be offended. Go TF away from us.

A Picture That Says How Old I am

Thanks Irish. I also used baseball cards that could probably be sold for hundreds of dollars had I kept them.

Yes, it had a banana seat, long handlebars and it’s how I learned to do wheelies. We rode everywhere and actually played outside.

My childhood wasn’t ruined by video games. Life was my video game and my metaverse.

Euphemisms For Farting

I posted Euphemisms for stupid a while back and it’s still pretty high on the search list. I was in the shower, where I do some of my best thinking and gathered some of these off the web. I have also posted on how much farts weigh.

No matter who you are, you fart. Most people think it’s funny. Old people don’t care and just let it go whenever. Guys have farting contests and remember the loudest, longest and smelliest ones. Girls say it’s gross in from of others, but let it rip when they are alone.

Everybody thinks it’s funny if someone famous gets caught.

229 best Laughing "Gas" images on Pinterest | Funny stuff ...
Prince Phillip ripping one in front of the Royals

It’s still a Covid test. If you can smell it, you don’t have Covid.

Enjoy

Air bagel

Air biscuit

Airbrush the boxers

Air tulip

Anal acoustics

Anal ‘ahem’

Anal audio

Anal exhale

Anal salute

Anal volcano

Anus applause

Answering the call of the wild burrito

back blast

Back draft

Back-end blowout

Backdoor breeze

Backdoor sneeze

Backfire

Bake an air biscuit

Baking brownies

Bark

Barking spider

Barn burner

Bean blower

Beef

Beefer

Beep your horn

Belch from behind

Belching clown

Benchwarmer

Better open a window

Blast

Blast the chair

Blat

Blow mud

Blow the big brown horn

Blue dart

Blurp

Blurt

Bomber

Boom-boom

Booty bomb

Booty cough

Bottom blast

Bottom burp

Booty belch

Break the sound barrier

Break wind

Breath of fresh air

Brown cloud

Brown dart

Brown haze

Brown horn brass band

Brown thunder

Bubbler

Bull snort

BUMsen burner

Bun shaker

Bung blast

Burning rubber

Burner

Burp out the wrong end

Bust ass

Buster

Butt bazooka

Butt bleat

Butt bongos

Butt burp

Butt cheek screech

Butt dumpling

Butt percussion

Butt sneeze

Butt trauma

Butt trumpet

Butt tuba

Butt wind

Butt yodeling

Buttock bassoon

Chair air

Cheek flapper

Cheek squeak

Cheeser

Cheesin’

Colon bowlin’

Colonic Calliope

Crack a rat

Crack concert

Crack one off

Crack splitters

Crap call

Crop dusting

Crowd killer

Cut a stinker

Cut one

Cut the cheese

Death breath

Deflating

Doing the one cheek sneak

Doing the two cheek sneak

Drifter

Drop a bomb

Droppin’ stink bombs

Duck call

Eggy

Emptying the tank

Exhume the dinner corpse

Exploding bottom

Exterminator

False pooper

Fanny beep

Fanny frog

Fart (of course)

Fecal fume

Fire a Stink torpedo

Fire in the hole

Firing the retro rocket

Fizzler

Flame thrower

Flamer

Flapper

Flatulate

Flatulence

Flatus

Flipper

Float an air biscuit

Floater

Floof

Fluffer

Fluffy

Fogger

Fog horn

Fog slicer

Fowl howl

Fragrant foof

Free jacuzzi

Freep

Free speech

Frump

Fumigating

Funky roller

Gas

Gas attack

Gas blaster

Gas master

Get out and walk Donald

Ghost turd

Gluteal maximus gas a mess

Gluteal tuba

Great brown cloud

Grundle rumble

Grunt

Gurgler

Heinie hiccup

Heinous Anus

Hisser

Hole flapper

Honk

Honker

Horton hears a poo

Hot wind

Hottie

Human hydrogen bomb

HUMrrhoids

Ignition

Insane in the methane

Inverted burb

Jet power

Jet propulsion

Jockey burner

Just calling your name

Just keeping warm

Kaboomer

Killing the canary

Lay an egg

Lean mean bean machine

Let each bean be heard

Let one fly

Let one go

Let one rip

Let the beans out

Lethal cloud

Let Polly out of jail

Make a stink

Mating call

Methane bomb

Methane dart

Methane mating call

Methane pain

Mexican (food) jet propulsion

Moon gas

Mouse on a motorcycle

Mud duck

Nasty cough

Nose death

Odor bubble

Odorama

One-gun salute

One-man band

One-man brass band

One-man salute

Orchestra practice

O-ring oboe

Painting the elevator

Paint peeler

Paint stainer

Panty burp

Parp

Parper

Party in your pants

Pass gas

Pass wind

Peter

Pewie

Pip

Playing the tuba

Playing the trouser tuba

Poof

Poof-poof

Poop gas

Poop gopher

Poot

Pootsa

Pop

Pop a fluffy

Pop tart

Power puff

Puffer

Puff the Magic Dragon

Putt-putt

Quack

Quaker

Raspberry

Rattler

Rebuilding the ozone layer

Rectal honk

Rectal shout

Rectal tremor

Rectal turbulence

Release a squeaker

Release the hounds

Rip one

Ripped the cheese

Ripper

Ripple

Roar from the rear

Roast the jockeys

Room clearer

Rump ripper

Rump roar

Saluting my shorts

Scud missle

Shoot the cannon

Silent and scentless

Silent but deadly

Silly cyanide

Singe the pants/chair/etc

Skunk bait

Slider

Sphincter siren

Sphincter song

Sphincter whistle

Spitter

Split the seam

Squeaker

Squeak one out

Stale wind

Steam-press your pants

Steamer

Step on a duck

Step on a frog

Stink bomb

Stink burger

Stink it up

Stinker

Stinky

Stinkmeaner

Tail wind

Taint tickle

Thunder from down under

Thurp

Toilet tune

Toot

Toot your own horn

Tootsie

Trouser cough

Trouser trumpet

Trunk bunk

Turd tremors

Turtle burp

Tushy tickler

Uncorked one

Uncorking

Under burp

Under thunder

Venting

Vent one

Wallop

Whiff

Whoopee

Whopper

Zinger

These came from Farthub

Eight Struggles of A Highly Intelligent Person (or an Introvert Because It Seems The Same To Me)

Here they are if you don’t want to watch a short video, but it was enlightening to me. It literally is how my life is. I identified as an Introvert rather than an intellectual however. I was interested in the video, but found that I related on that completely different level. All it took was the first trait and I was in on this one to the end.

I don’t struggle to make good friends though, I just am very protective as to who can get to know me.

1) You get bored with small talk 2) You’re careful with your words 3) You are socially awkward 4) You struggle to make good friends 5) You don’t get out much 6) You’re overly analytical 7) Your mind constantly craves exercise 8) You’re always feeling pressured to succeed.

In the comments, I found this, which reminds me of my offspring:

I was told I was always egotistical and a know it all. This totally baffled me because I only offered answers or advice when asked. Then I met my fiance who consistently tells me that its not me being standoffish or egotistical but that my lack of empathy when explaining my ideas makes people feel intimidated or stupid. No one wants to feel stupid. Therefore no one wants to be around a living encyclopedia. The older I got, the more people valued this trait. It’s taken a lot of time, but now I just do not care if someone is offended by my large gray matter.

For People Who Pick Their Nose (In Other Words, You)

My friend George loves picking his in the car. He has fat fingers and we call it rooting, like what pigs do for food.

It reminds me of the scene in Seinfeld when he was scratching his nose, but got busted as it looked like he was picking it.

Even funnier was in Caddyshack when they bet if the Smails kid would pick his nose, and then bet if he would eat it. I know it’s gross, but my humor is sophomoric.

Yeah, I’ve Had A Rough Life

I made it a lot harder than it needed to be. I zigged when I should have zagged a few too many times.

I can think of more times than fingers that God pulled my ass out of the fire and decided I should live a little longer. It was that or I shouldn’t have had kids when the other person wanted to (and didn’t tell me) or was almost too careless. They were all false alarms so I never had to take any DNA tests or caused any pregnancies except the kids I wanted to have.

I should be dead though with some of the stuff I did. I don’t drink anymore, but should have had a lot of DUI’s, yet never got one.

Go figure.

Now, I take it easy now and try to keep it between the lines. If I were a cat, 8 lives would be used up by now.

It’s why I say I’ve got a Ph.D in the school of hard knocks.

Things To Do This Thanksgiving, Introvert Advice

While I’m being sarcastic, if your family and friends bug you and you want some quiet holidays, this will help your Christmas be less stressful. Nothing gets to me as an Introvert like holidays and fake feelings, fake fun and people. Anytime I can tone it down, I will. It’s much easier to take that way. Why do people have to act different just because they are told to?

Pick either side, you don’t even have to believe in it. Pick Biden or Trump and say how bad or good they are. Don’t worry, you will piss someone off either way. Use woke subjects like BLM or LGBT2+WXYZ or whatever it is now and take sides (see what I did there? Some woke person just got mad).

I hate the false build up that comes with the holidays. They’ve expanded it to before Thanksgiving now. I went shopping today and the Christmas stuff is already out. SMH.

Damn, Am I Getting Old

Of course we have contacts now and like everything else, we just look at our phones. It’s why we don’t learn anything.

How is it that I can remember my phone number as a kid. Not only that, I remember it as a name with a number. You are old if you can do that.

I dare anyone to comment if they had an alpha-numeric phone number (or name and number depending on what part of the country you are from).

I Love My Dogs With Pictures

I’ve had multiple dogs over the years. They have all had different personalities and I loved them all, in different ways.

Barney was my first dog when I was a kid. I don’t have a picture, but he was part Boxer/part mutt. We got him from a friend of my Dad’s when he was going off to seminary and had to give him up. As far as I was concerned, he was always ours. He went to the beach with us on vacation and was part of the family.

Those were the pre-leash law days so he roamed the neighborhood on his own. He left his mark on the street with many little Barney’s and some pissed off neighbors. Dogs will be dogs. He was a car chaser and got hit. He recovered, but as Mom said, it took the spirit out of him.

When I got my S*** together in life, we got Conan. He was a rambunctious Golden. Through a breeding mistake, he got hip displaysia and only lasted 10 years. He was happy and had a good life. I learned how to train dogs and we bonded. As with all our dogs, I understood what he needed and took care of all his medical needs.

Bandit was my day pal. We picked her up from a breeder. I’ll be honest, we got a boxer because we wanted a smaller dog than Conan and a female, but we got a bundle of energy that was more than 3 Conan’s. As I think back, we got her because of Barney. They were the same color and size. She was fearless and friendly and loved everyone.

We named her Bandit from the dog in the Jonny Quest comics that I watched faithfully.

I was working at home by now. Being an introvert, I was happier being with her than people and she was by my side. We were together almost 15 years. It was almost like ET and Elliot. I knew what she needed intuitively. Where I went, she went. I took care of all her needs and she was my dog more than anyone in the family because of her.

Bandit

I got her ashes, but couldn’t bear to bury them until I processed my feelings. I planted a dwarf Japanese Maple and she rests now forever there.

Bandit’s Tree

After taking a year off when Bandit finally left us, we decided to venture into the dog game again. I decided on a rescue and took my son to adopt another dog. He was with me when we got Bandit, but being so young, I picked Bandit from the litter to try and get the right one.

He helped me with picking out Boone. He noticed that out of all the dogs we looked at, he was the most gentile. While he looks lie a black lab, we later found out that he was part Boxer, so I guess that is a the theme in my life. He doesn’t have the energy that Bandit did, but neither do I anymore.

He is a great dog. Again he and I bonded more than anyone else in the family, even though he loves everyone and every other dog. Cats and deer, not so much.

My son was attached to Bandit and to Boone. When he went on his own, he got his own dog Raider. She is also colored like Bandit, but is a mix of a lot of breeds, a mutt. She is a great dog, but with a lot of energy. She is less friendly with other dogs, but loves Boone.

Without trying, I bonded with her also. She knows I’m an alpha and that I am the lead dog in the pack.

I know what they all have needed and what they like, it’s almost a sixth sense. I’m not a dog whisperer, rather through observation and empathy, we know we are together.

I love my dogs and they love me. When I have people problems, the dogs have always been there. I’ve been fortunate that they have all been good dogs.

Sometimes when life goes to shit, they are the only friends I have, at least it feels that way. They always by my side, without any pretension other than wanting to be with me.

My Age, In Pictures

We played war in the streets, along with baseball, football and I drove those cars thousands of miles in the sandbox. We actually learned things rather than looking it up on a phone. Common sense was far more available to us than it is to the snowflakes.

The cars today are driving computers, but you can’t work on them yourself, you need to plug it in to tell you what is wrong. I miss the smooth sound of a V-12, or the deep throated sound of a V-8 in a pony car.

I’ll leave the girls alone other than it was a more genuine look, but our music was way better that what you hear today.

Autumn, Like Life, In Pictures

These were taken one week apart from the same chair. We’ve already seen the 30’s and the leaves are turning. It reminds me that I’m in the Autumn of my life. I hope to enjoy it, but it’s a lot slower and with more aches and pains than it used to be.

Maybe it’s all the hard wear and tear I put on myself through the years. I seem to learn more from mistakes than successes, they are more painful.