I could type pages on this one, but I’ll spare the readers. Most write better than I do anyway so I’m interested in their thoughts.
As for me, as soon as we meet, I throw up a wall until I can trust whomever you say you are. I also look for clues as to who they really are, not who they say they are.
For girls, I look for red flags like hair dyed in an unnatural color, excessive piercings (or one in the nose), too many tattoos (more than one hidden one. Most of all, check her friends and family. Crazy girlfriends means your petite petunia is likely been run through by a lot of dudes. Body count matters a lot too. No matter what, even if you are a way better guy, you are compared to the past.
For Guys, there is a line between confidence and cockiness. It can be smudged at first, but it shows itself. I don’t mind an Alpha male, as long as he’s decent to others. There is always a bigger fish.
Being an introvert, anyone who talks too much small talk instead of substantive conversation is kept on the sidelines. I just can’t listen to drivel for the sake of talking. Introverts will understand this.
The first line to break a relationship for me isn’t lying, everyone does that. It’s loyalty. That is like virginity, you can only lose it once. Once it is gone, our relationship is stalled probably where it started. So far, no one has gotten a second chance. I’ll never really trust you again, despite my best efforts.
The biggest thing I learned was to not talk back immediately, say no early and often to most things, and don’t commit to doing things you know you don’t want to do. That has saved me more time from the suck portion of life than almost anything.
Like I said, I can go on, and on, but that would just be a continuation of the life of an introvert.
I’d rather read what you have to say
Delusions of Adequacy 
Key word therein is “relationship.” I avoid ’em. Simplifies things considerably.
I will, however, talk to just about anyone who exhibits even a rudimentary intelligence and awareness. About anything. Any time.
Think I picked up on that my first year in college, 1958, when for the first time in my country-boy life I encountered black athletes, big-city Jews, people from strange lands wearing strange garments, often with semi-precious jewels like a third eye in their foreheads, and females with habits and desires similar to my own.
Refined my willingness to talk to anyone while on arduous sea duty, long days, long nights, 50 to 60 days between port visits to pick up fresh food. Not a helluva lot to do other than read, play double-deck pinochle or acey-deucy, and talk.
Nowadays most of my old friends are gone, like all of my favorite pets. Stifled the desire to develop new ones. Milady and I have 4 children and 8 grandkritters; who needs relationships with more than 13 people.
It’s not that I’m a recluse — just living with the burn scars of loss, hypocrisy, deceit, and melodrama.
If given the chance to meet certain individuals — let’s say BHO or HRC or AOC or SanFranNan — I’d slowly run my gaze over the person cap a pie, then turn and walk away sans greeting or audible comment.
Given the opportunity with impunity, I could name several people whom I’d gleefully keelhaul or stake on a fire ant mound.
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I have readily admitted I’m hard to get along with.
That said . . at this point in life, everyone is on probation. I’ve had enough. I might love you, but if you’ve demonstrated toxic behavior towards me, then there’s not going to be any second chances if you go there.
I don’t belong to anyone, and most people have their relationship view of me bass-akwards. I can live without them. And there will be culls.
I saw a meme elsewhere, “People won’t miss you. They’ll miss what you tolerated from them.”
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