Category: introverts

A Life Lesson About Tomorrows. How Many Are Left?

What does tomorrow mean to us? I thought about that today. It occurred to me that I don’t have as many tomorrows left. As endless as they used to be, I’d grab at a new handful of them. For now, I’m glad to have the next one. They grow fewer every day (sorry, I had to put that in)

Young

When I was young, I never thought about tomorrow. It always came. Some took forever like when I cared about my birthday, and others flew by.

When something has an endless supply, the value is less. It’s economics. I never considered that I’d be working, or retired, or would have kids, a mortgage or any responsibility. Live for today. It was all about today. I had no real yesterday’s to learn from yet.

If I did think about tomorrow, it was the kid dream about being an astronaut or pilot (what I thought about).

That was so long ago and the days between now and then are so numerous that it seems, like another life for me. I’ve lived many different lives within the one I chronologically am still in.

School

I recall sitting in the classroom watching the clock ticking away. Tick, tick, tick towards when I’d be able to go home. Time was endless on those days, and this was just between 2 and 2:15 in elementary school. The only good tomorrow started on Friday.

By the time I got to college, I was aware that life was right around the corner. Still, I enjoyed the day without a care. I ignored that inevitable tomorrow. When it came, it was in the form of an exam, or a girlfriend or another event in life. It was finite and had little consequence as to what my next day held. Still, I had no real cares and a lot of what tomorrow brought was a new experience.

Letdowns started to happen, but the ocean of tomorrows never crossed my mind as I did stupid stuff. I think I lost a few tomorrows by taking too many risks. Somehow I survived and was able to live to the next day, always another tomorrow. It was expected.

Responsibility Years

Life marched on and I grew up, bought a home and started a family. Tomorrows always came, but now they came with other’s problems also. It wasn’t the carefree days when your kid is sick or in trouble. I didn’t have time to think about tomorrow as today brought 10 tons of manure in a 5 ton truck.

So much is happening in your life you take tomorrow for granted or you are too busy to think about anything but today. If you do, those thoughts are invaded with things you have to get done or do for others.

I did notice one thing. I was starting to have a lot of yesterday’s. Some of them happy and some sad. There were lessons learned on both.

The ocean of tomorrows was still seemingly full as it (now) quickly drained away.

Deaths

The first reminders of fewer tomorrows happened here. Those you used to know have run out of tomorrows.

When you are young, say at a grandparents funeral, you can’t comprehend time not being endless for you. By middle age, you know it is closer, but most choose to ignore the reality of time slipping away.

Growing Older

Rarely, do tomorrows bring something new to me. Occasionally, I get a different version of something I’ve been through. I have many more yesterdays now than the number of tomorrows remaining.

The kids are grown. The mortgage is paid off. I no longer work. I’m among the oldest of my relatives now. It brought me to how many tomorrows there will be. Among those, how many will be good or bad? Will there be tough times?

I try to enjoy the days, even if the tasks are mundane. I have less patience for things that don’t seem meaningful to me. My meaningful scale has changed dramatically over life.

From time to time (becoming far too common), people I know run out of their tomorrows. As I sit at the funerals, life comes into perspective for me, at least the part on Earth.

Tomorrows aren’t endless. You only come with so many. Some have more than others and some enjoy them more than others.

Most of life’s struggles are over, except what happens when the tomorrow’s are running out.

Here’s hoping for another tomorrow, and that it doesn’t suck for me.

A Truth About People At Christmas

This much attention is overwhelming for an introvert. i can’t wait for it to be over. I can’t hear another Christmas song on the speaker anywhere.

What I hate the most is how people change and act different when I know damn well what asswipes they are the rest of the year. I hate their fake attitude because it’s the Christmas spirit, or whatever lie they are telling.

I like the meaning of Christmas, but the crap that people do around it, compounded by the commercialization since September and I want to pull my hair out.

This is true every year. I can’t wait for it to be over so we can go back to being who we really are.

Elevators, Awkward X 1000 When Talking Or Farting

Everyone has that one friend. In my high school, his name was Rick. For some reason, his stomach did more than ours did and when he farted, it cleared the room. One time, we were outside waiting for a concert and he let one fly. Even in the open air the crowd parted it was so bad.

He became a stewardess after college. He told us about crop dusting the passengers near the bathroom so they would think that it came from someone dropping a deuce.

The best story is that he was visiting the Empire State Building. Right before he got off the express elevator, he let one fly that was God awful he said. A bunch of his male stewardess friends were just getting on, and they were stuck for 50 floors in his sewer air. It was so bad that one of them gave him a hard time a full 3 months later for trapping them in that stench. I’ve tried without success since the day he told me that story to duplicate this feat.

As for me, I’ll pick the empty car every time, even if it is just one floor. I admit I’ve closed the door before others could get in. Why do people get so awkward in a specific place?

As an introvert, every closed room with strangers is awkward. It gets compounded by a group of chatty girls (any age) or someone who wants to talk. That is the quiet zone, like the library where you should STFU until it’s time to get off.

Be a good citizen and kind to introverts. Don’t talk. Also, don’t fart in elevators.

Why I Like To Be Alone

It’s not that I don’t like others, just not all the time. Actually, I’d rather be alone most of the time. I don’t even miss others or think about missing them. Most of the time, they let me down or make the time spent together difficult. My appetite for that is over.

People drain me and consistently let me down. I’m sure I let them down when they think I should act like an extrovert, but then I don’t force myself on others.

Small talk is the most draining thing during the day. I know as soon as I get into it that it’s going to be a dreadful and useless conversation. Society expects you to go through this ritual, but that doesn’t make it meaningful or any less painful.

Give me meaningful and deep discussions and you have my attention. Otherwise, I’m happiest writing in my diary and reading.

Not caring what others think about you is a blessed relief. It’s the same when they don’t think of you also, like the remote parts of your family that are annoying.

Things Introverts Hate

I can hear it now. Tell everyone three things about yourself

Compounding it would be a networking event. Dear God, why do they put is through that.

I’ve never remembered anything that someone told about themselves, even if it was extremely clever, which some have been. They won’t remember about me either.

When will the world stop trying to fit everyone into the same box. I hate this exercise and avoid groups to just not have to go through it.

At least have the courtesy to say you don’t have to go through this if it offends you. No one cares about our feelings and being put on the spot is as bad as it gets sometimes.

Extroverts love this as they get the rush of dopamine when they can talk about themselves to others. I don’t think they really care what I or they say, so why do we have to do this?

An Introvert’s Perspective Of Family Gatherings

My mom told me I had to stick with my family and put up with gatherings because they are blood. She was right on most things in life, but not this one.

I look at them like I look at most people. If we were friends or wanted to see each other, we’d get together. Now, it’s just weddings and funerals, and I avoid those if possible. I missed the last one that made me the patriarch of both sides of the family now. That’s not a burden I relish or will give any attention too.

Besides avoiding both sides of my family whenever possible, my wife’s family doesn’t live in my country, so I have it easy there. They sit around and trash the US to feel morally superior so I don’t want to be a part of that.

Best of all, I stopped drinking a while back. Most of them drink a lot when they are together, so I don’t get invited to almost everything. I think I make them feel uncomfortable. They are happier to be around people who drink a lot without feeling guilty. I don’t get invited and it’s one of life’s blessings.

I treat others like they treat me. Fortunately, most of them don’t want to talk and I keep my head as low as possible so I don’t get in their line of fire.

Still, leaving is always my favorite part of getting together, family or otherwise.

Life These Days, Introverts And Social Media

It’s like this sign below

The world and the media and especially Social Media is trying to tell you how to live, what to say, what is politically correct and so forth. It’s so much shit that you don’t know which way to turn.

I’m finding that staying to myself makes it easier. I don’t have to fit into the world’s definitions of what I should be doing instead of what I want to do. It used to be a lot easier before the Karen’s and Chad’s tried to build their power base by judging others. I got fed up enough of that crap with the high school childish games we suffered through.

I decided to grow up and make my own rules. It’s because I’m an introvert and didn’t do stuff like get the Covid Jab. I’m not as accepted for what I believe, but like Groucho Marx said, I’d never belong to a club that would have me as a member. It’s made my life a lot easier.

This is the way they want you to behave on social media now. I had to eliminate that to not drive myself nuts. I got the added benefit of not having to find out what others did to try and make themselves feel better when they got likes. My favorite benefit was re-losing people I was able to move on earlier in life. They found me on social media, but I already removed them once for a reason.

The way I looked at it, if I wanted to stay connected (or we wanted to together) we would have. Not for likes. I guess I just don’t care enough what they did after we parted ways all those years ago. I got to lose family that made life difficult also.

I get some love to reconnect and rehash things, but I already did that in my private journal. If it was that good, I wouldn’t need social media to see what they ate or drank while doing stuff I didn’t care about.

This version of non English is how social media is. Almost non-sequitur.

With all the bullshit with the lying about the politicians and covering up by the media, if I get too involved with it, this happens to me

I can always revert to my introverted life and spend time alone with my thoughts and pets. That way people aren’t ruining my life as much.

Why I Never Go Back To My High School Or College

I was listening to Steely Dan play My Old School, one of my theme songs. Click on it, it’s a great song.

I realized I went to school to grow up in life, not really to learn. I went to classes and did did stuff, but it was just a step in life I had to take first. My real education was when I got out and started in life. School was just learning how to learn, mostly what not to do. Life is a big picture that I saw. I knew I had to get through this time and had a need to have my success being in life, not following the crowd in my teens. I watched the cliques and instinctively knew I didn’t want to be held hostage by them. Even then, I just knew I was going to be a bigger success and do much more than any of them. Other than a few sports stars and a doctor here and there, it came true. It’s not really important to me as I expected it. It’s because I didn’t pin my identity to that time of my life.

Most of all, I didn’t get stuck in my hometown and got away from those who stayed in the mud pit of mediocrity.

I know some people never leave college and re-live school every Friday night or Saturday during football season, but I am fortunate to have Mauerbauertraurigheit. I never wanted to be a part of what they were. Maybe it was just the introvert in me coming out, but I moved on and the memories weren’t strong enough to make me long for that, ever.

I went to school with some people from kindergarten through the end of college, yet I never think of them as friends. Just going to the same school isn’t the basis for a relationship. I never wanted to be in their clubs or fraternity’s, even when I had the chance. They weren’t the type of people I wanted to be a part of. At a college party one time I told Brad Hurd, who I knew since kindergarten that my best life decision until then was not pledging his fraternity. It was just the same elementary, middle school and high school people that I instinctively knew weren’t going to be significant, or my friends.

I also remember college graduation. I thought to myself, I may never step foot back on this campus and 43 years later, I never have. I’d had enough of college life and wanted to grow up and experience new and different things. People I knew still get together and pretend they are still there, but I can’t bring myself to do it. It was a chapter in my life that has closed. Life expanded so much for me after I got out that I feel no connection with the people anymore.

I still have friends from that time, but it had nothing to do with school. We are friends because of our relationship, mutual interests and experiences in life.

So, like the song, I’m never going back to my old school. I’ve passed up the 10th, 20th, 25th, 30th and 40th high school reunions so far, and have no plans to ever do it again.

I always thought that my life was going to happen after I left school, and it did. Those I went to school with act like they never left. Their pinnacle in life was either high school or college. They are like Al Bundy, high school football star, but loser in life. They relive the past at a time we were juveniles. I saw much more than that. Being a part of it wasn’t something I ever wanted to do.

On LinkedIn, I don’t even list my university. Instead I use Faber College, Knowledge is good.

Occasionally, I hear about someone from that time. Almost to a person, they didn’t amount to not much past that time of life. I hope they enjoyed their moment in the limelight, but it’s too bad that it came so early in life. When I see the pictures, they faded into old looking people who fell out of shape or didn’t realize their dreams. It’s sad. I wish they could have seen the big picture that what seems important to teenagers is not.

When I think about why, it was the people that I wanted away from, not the school. I continue to have highlights in life, rather than re-live an immature time of my life.

I’m never going back, to my old…..school, because I grew up to so much more.

One Of My Worst Introvert Nightmares

I hate this.

I’m not able to process the attention that others force on you. To me, it’s just another day and I wish others would treat it that way. I want to crawl in a hole and not come out until it is over.

When I was a waiter, we’d sing the song to the birthday person. Almost always, a drunk table nearby would want it and would ask for us to sing it to them. One time, a party was so belligerent about it, instead of Happy Birthday dear (name), we sang eat a big one you asshole, HBTY.

Back to the point. I never understood why it was such a big deal. I didn’t know it was OK to hate your birthday until I talked to other introverts. It was painful for years. When I found out you didn’t have to suffer through this, I got my family to swear they’d never put me through the fake festivities again.

I think parents are so overboard on their children’s birthdays that they set this false expectation that it’s a real holiday. It was painful for me and I never knew how to act. The kids come to count on it like it is going to make them happier because they got stuff.

The extroverts in my family expect the attention, but it’s difficult for me to sit through that also. I want that to be over as much as when it happens to me.

In my life, charade has taken over any holiday. People get worked up and claim they are happy because of a day that is supposed to be celebrated. I’ve grown to loathe big family gatherings and the month long Christmas ordeal. I see how unhappy they can be. It’s because people set themselves up for false expectations that some holiday or gathering is supposed to make them feel better. Take away their alcohol and it’s a whole different thing.

I can’t buy that nonsense as there are other days in the year that make me happier, but it is organic rather than manufactured. I can even take (a small amount) some celebrations if spontaneous and real.

At this end of my life, I don’t like having another birthday so fast. It just reminds me that that I’ll be crossing the checkered flag in life soon.

The Hell That Is Small Talk For Introverts

I had to learn how to do this to get by in life. I never liked it.

I listen to girls of all ages talk about food, shopping, clothes and just about anything and anybody. I have watched my wife’s relatives in Denmark deal in Janteloven. It’s where they talk about anything to not go below the surface which might “upset someone’s feelings” for being different. It is tedious. The lack of depth is a waste of time for me.

I ran out of gas to put up with that in life, that or patience. Jenn is right. I don’t have the energy for it anymore.

The other side is also right though. If it is deep conversation about an actual topic with depth and I can talk for a long time. The problem usually is finding someone with my interests or interest level. Even then, I run out of gas a lot sooner than an extrovert.

I tried to keep up with extroverts when I had to get by in life. Now that I’m retired and don’t have to work, find a wife or any of the young person problems, I bail on these conversations. I’ll listen, shake my head and say yes, no, great, sure or other comments, but mostly I just want it to stop. I don’t want to open the door to it going on any longer than it has to.

Lord Chesterfield On Things Social Media Has Robbed Us of

“Great talents, such as honor, virtue, and learning are above the generality of the world, who neither possess them themselves, nor judge of them rightly in others; but all people are judges of the lesser talents, such as civility, affability, and an obliging, agreeable address and manner, because they feel the good effects of them.”

I eliminated a lot of social media because it lost almost all of it’s civility, affability and agreeable address and manner.

I’d post something or read a statement that someone said and by the 4th comment, people (likely unqualified) on the subject would try to tear down your position, call bullshit or start their own thread of whatever social position they supported.

It was tiresome, usually wrong and generally vengeful.

My life is much better without that cesspool. I also have a lot of time back to do more enjoyable things in my life.

As an introvert, it was like being at a party I wanted to leave as soon as I got there. I just don’t go to that party anymore.

Why I Walk Away From People, Introvert Lessons In Life

This is true for me, although I didn’t learn quickly enough.

Once I realized you can’t change people, I changed me.

My internal GPS won’t let me stay in groups that I know are wrong for me, just not why. It’s called Mauerbauertraurigiheit.

As I wrote my way through my youth in a journal, I went to school with some people for up to 17 years. When I had the chance to be included, something I thought would finally endear me into their group, I wouldn’t do it. I realized who they were and knew they were poison and I couldn’t move ahead in life with them as an anchor.

It was the same for almost every group I’ve been in. The thought of being stuck with the same people because of duty was emotionally too great of a burden. I wasn’t there for the right reason. I couldn’t stay anymore.

A college girlfriend reached out to me recently, but I couldn’t talk to her. It was a relationship that ended badly. I don’t have the desire to relive it again even though we’ve moved on. That is the point though, I moved on.

You can’t take a shit and then try to put it back in you butt.

Lesson learned.

An Introvert On Arguing

The biggest problem I have in my arguments is timing. I get out talked by people who tend to be wrong. Only later does the truth come out or I can express myself, but no one (except me) cares by then.

Like most introverts, I think things through, throw out the things that are wrong, then come up with a salient and correct argument. All of this is well after the discussion took place.

LESSONS LEARNED

While being pressured to get the jab during Covid, I knew it was wrong and listened to everyone regurgitating the media and government lies (paid for by the Big Pharma companies). Since I was an island, it was everyone against me. There was nothing I could say that anyone would listen to other than my black friends. They remembered Tuskegee like I did.

The lesson? Stop trying to be right, learn patience for the facts to come out. They are coming out now.

This would have also helped me a lot earlier in life if I’d have known. I didn’t understand that I was an introvert though and thought I could go toe to toe with extrovert talkers not afraid to be wrong. I lost a debate to an imbecile in 8th grade when I clearly had the facts. He had the class popularity and the class went with him as he made up stuff.

It was similar in politics. The 2016 election won me a $100 bet, not that anyone cared. The 45th President continues to be right, so they just throw dirty underwear against the wall until something sticks. He is the comeback champion in rhetoric though so I stopped talking about that also. I was an island politically also. I lost every discussion on that one also even though my facts were proven right over time.

I found out that a lot of people don’t have a sense of history or really understand anything other than reading and repeating talking points they are told to think. Social media is making idiots out of the next generations. Knowing how to find information is not the same thing as understanding why things are the way they are.

I was already recognizing the pattern of facts that led to the truth, just not when I wanted it. I’d never make it as a lawyer or politician.

Maybe that’s why I write about this. It gets my thoughts (mostly cogently) in order and documents my position. It’s all I have sometimes. Since the internet is forever, here you go in the future if you read this.

Very rarely in my life do I have the proper comeback. It’s not satisfying when I do compared to the frustration of not being drop quick witted and precise information when needed.

So, I just have decided to let some stuff pass. It gets me out of talking to the under educated anyway.

The other lesson?

“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

― Mark Twain

More Introvert Strategies For Escaping When You Have To

If I can’t get out of going to a social event (forget parties), this is my next best option.

I’ve done it on dates also.

I hit on a girl in one of my classes in college because she was kind of cute and noticeably large casaba’s. To this day, it was the most boring date of my life. I thought she didn’t like me, but I found out she was just uninteresting. We went to dinner where I thought we could at least talk about the class we just finished.

She appeared in the school magazine 40 years later doing turtle research and guess what? She never got married. Others must have found out what I did.

I didn’t take her for being a switch hitter, so she just didn’t try. I can’t even call her an introvert as I saw her talk in class for a whole semester.

I didn’t have a hard time carrying on back then as those were my drinking years. I tried to keep it going and had other plans (dancing I believe) later that night but took her home. It was going nowhere and I was tired of trying. I dated a lot and was in my prime so a lot of others at least did their part in trying to keep it going.

After going home, I went out with my friends to a bar later to brag that I got out of one of the worst dates of my life.

Now, I don’t drink anymore and I get out of banal socializing as often as I can before it happens. I like this method best.

By chance I have to go, I know where the bathroom is and play with the pets.

Still, leaving is usually my favorite part of going to these.

The Real Reason I Quit Facebook

That’s right, I’m keeping the past in the past.

When I was first on fake book (an early adopter), it was great until people came back that I didn’t want to ever see again. That’s pretty much the way it is for most of my life. When you are in the past, you stay there. It’s too much drama for me to catch up. I have trouble with seeing people I haven’t seen in a while and it’s awkward.

It’s not just people from school or social groups I’ve been affiliated with, it’s family also. It’s very awkward as I know that were we not related that I’d never talk to them. I don’t with most anyway and have lost contact with a lot of the others.

Why haven’t we talked? The answer is usually because I didn’t want to. I have a hard time lying about that. I can fake being excited to see someone, I just refuse to do it anymore. It’s personality turn off when I see it in others.

I didn’t want anything connecting me to memories I didn’t want. It was painful enough the first time around. Why do I want to relive part of my life that are best left as experiences to learn from? I’d already moved on in life having parted ways once. Those memories of my early life don’t make me want to try and pretend it didn’t happen for me. I was glad it was over, dead and buried. It’s easier for me to deal with.

They kept wanting to connect. I did, but muted everyone, but finally I put them back in the history box where they belong, for a good reason. I had to dump it and remain true to myself.

If we were really friends, we wouldn’t need social media. I’m still friends with those who were my real friends. The rest are people I don’t connect with because we mutually don’t want to. To be fair, I mostly don’t want to connect with them, but that is my nature as an introvert.

I have listed other reasons in different posts that point out how fake people are on social media and that it is a time suck.

My life is better not seeing others. Let’s keep it that way.

Cancelling Plans, My Favorite

A close second is not talking, or on the phone.

I’m way happier when plans cancel than when they are made. It seems my social batter starts draining the minute I have to make them.

I get a turbo boost if they get cancelled and I get the time back.

It’s getting to where you don’t have to talk much on the phone. I’ve got 3 spam blockers so I don’t even have to suffer through that anymore.

Still, if you have to make the call, leaving a message is the best outcome.

I Like This Dick Measuring Contest

Because that is what it is. It’s like the longest drive, fastest car, number of wins your team got, name it.

There are some that are hard to top. They are conversation stoppers, also one of my favorites.

I won’t compare it to my schools because I put as much distance as I can from both my high school and college, both school and people. Those people would lose every time to the non-woke army.

If it weren’t for the Nazi thing, this would be the ultimate dick measuring contest for a school. Based on my work experience, I’ve noted how overrated the Ivy League schools are, and you can include others like UNC-CH, Duke and most California schools. They turn out losers now that are more concerned about gender and race than history and education.

Still, if it came down to it and someone started giving me the Harvard or Notre Dame speech. I’d like to say I’m from the Panzer School and we’d blow your doors off, literally. That’s a show stopper.

It’s like someone bragging they play golf and you answer, Hi, I’m Tiger Woods.

One Of The Things I Hate About Christmas

There is a long list of commercialized things overdone about it, but here is another.

I’m down to gift bags now as I can’t be bothered.

As an Introvert, there is too much going on for too long. By the time Christmas finally comes, my social battery is negative. I hate all the attention about something people don’t care about the rest of the year, including the people they buy presents for.

I see it is corrupting why we really celebrate Christmas, but it’s been ruined for me for life.

It’s already started, too early again. The stores were full of Christmas before Halloween.

On top of being an introvert nightmare for too much attention for the wrong reasons and this makes it a tough season for me.

I see these unhappy people for 11 months and then they pretend that everything is great. I know who they are the rest of the year and don’t believe their lies.

Introvert Time Again, My Life Up In Pictures

Seriously, just because I’m there doesn’t mean I want to do stuff like small talk. Sometimes I don’t talk just to see if they notice.

Text before knocking

Every day I get older, the more this is true.

I treat people the way they should be treated, accordingly. It’s how I can be nice to one person and an asshole to the next. It’s on you.

I don’t kid about this one. I kill people off in my autobiography a lot.

Here Is A Weather Report With Information I Actually Need To Know – Introvert Style

From wirecutter at Knuckledraggin my life away

I don’t really have social anxiety, I just don’t want to small talk and waste time. Hello is a perfectly good conversation.

I’ve seen people I like at the store and still went either to the next aisle, the other side of the store or just out. I’m not there to talk. I usually have music going in my ears anyway.

If I actually wanted to talk, I or the other person would have already texted.

The worst is chatty girls who talk to you like you were their girlfriend. If you understood men, you wouldn’t do this. We’d appreciate that more that a lot of things.

This is the opposite of a hall meeting at work. I didn’t always avoid them as you could get done in 5 minutes what normally took an hour out of your day. It’s the lesser of 2 evil’s if you have to see someone. Do it for the minimal time possible. I didn’t want to see them either, but this kept it to a minimum.

Generation Z’s Claim To Fame As Arbiters of Emoji’s

Where do I start on this one.

I tried giving them credit for being an upgrade from millennials. I guess I was wrong.

From the Daily Mail:

Why NOBODY should be using the ‘thumbs up’ emoji in 2022 – and the 10 symbols only ‘old people’ use that have Gen Z rolling their eyes

  • Gen Z sees the thumbs up emoji as rude or passive aggressive, they say
  • The emoji is commonly used in casual and professional conversation
  • People aged 35 and over are more likely to use the symbol but it is alienating
  • Other emojis only used by ‘old people’ include ‘crying laughing’ and the heart

By Belinda Cleary For Daily Mail Australia

Sending a thumbs-up can be seen as passive aggressive and even confrontational, according to Gen Z who claim they feel attacked whenever it is used.

Whether the chat is informal, between friends or at work the icon appears to have a very different, ‘rude’ meaning for the younger generation.

A 24-year-old on Reddit summed up the Gen Z argument, saying it is best ‘never used in any situation’ as it is ‘hurtful’.

‘No one my age in the office does it, but the Gen X people always do it. Took me a bit to adjust and get [it] out of my head that it means they’re mad at me,’ he added.

They make you look old. I disagree. I think emoji’s are childish to begin with. I never use them on purpose just for that reason. I never saw them as anything but wasted time or unnecessary info on the text. An answer in emoji’s only is even more childish.

I have friends my senior age that do it, but I refuse. They sort of get it and have stopped it. They weren’t any good at it anyway. They were the thumbs up people

I recognize rest of them though. They mostly come from girls who are too old for this nonsense.

I could put an emoji on the end of this for sarcasm and irony, but I won’t.

Emoji’s are the small talk in texting that I hate in real life. It’s not necessary, ever.

Introvert Humor

Be there or be square?

Go big or go home?

I find it funny when my family says stuff like, “everyone else is doing it, why don’t you want to?”. Or this one, “I always love to get together with others, what’s wrong with you?”. Don’t try to shame me into doing stuff. It hasn’t worked on me since I was a child.

Nothing is wrong with me. I’d rather not go to people events. I say what is wrong with you for not understanding others who are different to you?

Most of all, I’ve discovered that I don’t go to something if there isn’t an exit strategy for me if it sucks. I go to events I can’t get out of in 2 cars so I can go.

I almost always one of the first to leave as my social battery is on life support at this point in my life.

So go big or go home? How about stay home with my stuff and not have to put up with people being fake.

Introvert Humor, How Far Will You Go To Avoid People?

Of course there is the golf joke about the guy who played a round with his buddies shouting and laughing. After the round as they headed to the parking lot, he told them at the end to not talk to him. When asked why, he said he’s told his wife he’s been deaf for 5 years and he didn’t want to spoil it.

Neurotensin, How Your Brain Encodes A Good Or Bad Moment

I found this interesting in how your brain figures out what is good, bad, positive or negative and helps us act accordingly.

It’s pretty heady stuff, but the part about helping with anxiety, addiction and other things has great potential.

For Introverts, a lot of it happens in the reward/pain zone, the Amygdala…you know, the fight or flight place.

Here is an excerpt and a link to the whole article:

Now let’s rewind. You’re on the vacation of a lifetime in Kenya, traversing the savanna on safari, with the tour guide pointing out elephants to your right and lions to your left. From the corner of your eye, you notice a rhino trailing the vehicle. Suddenly, it sprints toward you, and the tour guide is yelling to the driver to hit the gas. With your adrenaline spiking, you think, “This is how I am going to die.” Years later, when you walk into a florist’s shop, the sweet floral scent makes you shudder.

“Your brain is essentially associating the smell with positive or negative” feelings, said Hao Li, a postdoctoral researcher at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in California. Those feelings aren’t just linked to the memory; they are part of it: The brain assigns an emotional “valence” to information as it encodes it, locking in experiences as good or bad memories.

And now we know how the brain does it. As Li and his team reported recently in Nature, the difference between memories that conjure up a smile and those that elicit a shudder is established by a small peptide molecule known as neurotensin. They found that as the brain judges new experiences in the moment, neurons adjust their release of neurotensin, and that shift sends the incoming information down different neural pathways to be encoded as either positive or negative memories.

To be able to question whether to approach or to avoid a stimulus or an object, you have to know whether the thing is good or bad.

Hao Li, Salk Institute for Biological Studies

The discovery suggests that in its creation of memories, the brain may be biased toward remembering things fearfully — an evolutionary quirk that may have helped to keep our ancestors cautious.

The findings “give us significant insights into how we deal with conflicting emotions,” said Tomás Ryan, a neuroscientist at Trinity College Dublin who was not involved in the study. It “has really challenged my own thinking in how far we can push a molecular understanding of brain circuitry.”

How To Know Who You Really Are – Try Writing Your Own Eulogy

An acquaintance’s father passed away a few years ago. He was an adjunct to a Five Star General in WWII and a press officer for IBM. He wrote his obituary and his funeral notice. It was spectacular. Not because it touted all that he had done, but that it was clear and concise. When my uncle died, I got that he was a pilot, but not much else and he did a lot of other things that would have been nice to hear.

It’s because someone else wrote his obituary. And there you have the key.

Write your own eulogy and find out what you want the world to know or not know about you. It’s harder than you think because you only have a short space to get in what are the highlights.

A BIGGER PROJECT

For me, it went to exploring the rest of my life and before I knew it, I’m writing about kindergarten or my 3rd job. No one will ever read it, but I finally found out that things like me being an introvert were there all along. My life would have been a lot easier if I’d have known the things I wrote. Sure, it’s hindsight, but the pattern was there. I wonder why it took me so long to see some things.

I remembered teachers (back to kindergarten), classmates, situations, jobs, life and so much that I couldn’t type fast enough. I knew I’d have to edit and re-edit for details and accuracy, but if I could remember it, I wrote it down. I forget a lot of stuff now anyway.

It fell out on the pages who was loyal or a back stabber to me. What was it that I expected or deliverd to friendships. Who I could count on and who I could count on to try to cause me difficulty or harm (mentally or physically).

I realized who was actually a friend and why, and who was passing through that time of my life, but didn’t remain. As I have said, there are a lot of characters in my autobiography who don’t make it to the end.

MY EULOGY

Guess what I haven’t finished yet. That’s right, the original project. I got so enthralled with trying to recall memories that sometimes would flood my mind, or that one deep memory that I hadn’t thought about in decades.

I’m going back to it as I need a break. It wasn’t just the writing, but having to re-experience feelings and situations that I’d buried were mentally taxing. I haven’t been blogging much as it has been overwhelming.

DO IT

Why? You will find out more about yourself than you could imagine. You think you know who you are until you write about your warts and missteps, the awkward things you said that you wish you could take back. Why you react the way you do instead of being more effective, especially when you are protecting your inner self.

I found out who I was and why I act the way I have. I got to re-visit a lot of times in my life. While writing, I put myself back into the 6 or 12 year old to feel those times again the way they were, instead of how my mind changed them over the years. Then, I thought if that moment affected my life later. Most times the answer was yes.

There were times I couldn’t type fast enough and had to keep a separate list of all the things I needed to write about. Conversely, I didn’t want to go back after vomiting up memories, joys and pain, success and failures in my life. I didn’t want to write the pain, but it felt better after having said it.

I’ll keep the eulogy, but delete the life story, no one cares anyway other than me. I won’t care soon either.

I guess I’d better get around to that Eulogy now so the kids don’t screw it up.

Oh Dear God, Yes, Please Stop This Horrible Event

Dear Workplaces, Churches, and Schools, PLEASE Stop Doing Icebreakers. Signed, Introverts.

I read Introvert Dear, most of which I agree with, but even introverts come in different flavors. Today they wrote an article that resonates with me.

When taking multiple personality tests, I always came up with the same 4 letters and the strongest was I (introvert), always. The rest define me also, but not for this post.

See 15 things Introverts want you to know, but might not tell you and look at networking events. They are the worst nightmare for us. Force a bunch of people together and let them talk about themselves until perhaps you might find something in common. That is hell for me. It’s like small talk, something else I loathe. I prefer the silence, almost every time.

Want to meet me and watch me talk passionately? I do stuff I am passionate about, and then find people who have that in common and we naturally connect, without the social pressure of being forced to.

Here is an excerpt from the article:

Icebreakers are supposed to be “fun,” but many introverts absolutely dread these activities because they force them into the spotlight.

Being an introvert at work has always been hard, but most days I get by just fine by minding my own business. For the most part, I don’t mind my job, and sometimes I even enjoy it.

Except when it comes to staff meetings.

I’ve been lucky that most of my past jobs haven’t required weekly staff meetings, because honestly, I’m not sure I could handle that. My current job only has quarterly staff meetings, but they’re enough to drain me and stress me out.

In fact, the most recent one was so difficult that I’m still reeling from it.

It’s part of why I hate family reunions and holidays. It’s forcing people together, only some of whom want to be there.

These are extrovert rules forced on us in public.

Another excerpt:

Why Introverts Hate Icebreakers

Not all introverts hate icebreakers, but many of them do, especially introverts like me who suffer from anxiety. I’m sure there are some extremely confident and self-assured introverts out there who have no trouble speaking in front of a crowd, but that’s never been me. (me: I can do it but hate it and it’s an act when I have to do it. Hell, I hate being at a small gathering and having to act like you are interested, when in fact most times people are more interested in talking about themselves. It’s like a Facebook post to get the most likes by telling the good parts about your life).

Why do introverts tend to feel uncomfortable during icebreakers? For one, an icebreaker forces you to become the center of attention. Whereas extroverts may enjoy being in the spotlight, introverts may find it overwhelming. In general, introverts thrive in calm environments where there isn’t much stimulation. I can’t think of a more stimulating situation than a roomful of eyes watching your every move! For introverts, all this attention may simply put their nervous system in overdrive. (I hate Christmas for this).

Also, icebreakers are supposed to move quickly, so there’s little time to think about what you’re going to say or do. Although no one likes being caught off-guard, for introverts, it can be especially difficult to think of something to say on the fly. That’s because the introvert’s brain might be wired a little differently in this sense. According to Marti Olsen Laney, author of The Introvert’s Advantage, we “quiet ones” may rely more on long-term memory as opposed to short-term or “working” memory, which makes us a little slower to gather our thoughts and speak out loud (it’s because we’re processing our thoughts and experiences deeply). Extroverts, on the other hand, may do the opposite. (Here’s the science.)

Personally, even when I come up with something to say, it never comes out quite the way I planned it in my head. I might stutter or stumble or mix up my words. In turn, this spikes my anxiety even more and leaves me feeling frazzled and embarrassed… all in front of people I work with… in a situation where I am trying to make a good impression. I know icebreakers are supposed to be “fun,” but I, like many introverts, absolutely dread them.

Introvert Confidence

There is nothing better than when people cancel plans on me, even if I wanted to do something as I usually can do it alone anyway.

The more I think about it, the less I want any more people in my life wanting to do stuff together. At this point I’d rather just not have to deal with them.

Here is the kicker. I stopped caring if people liked me in high school. Once I learned that lesson, life is much less complicated. If they talk bad about me, I just kill them off figuratively in my Autobiography. Not all characters survive in stories. Very few do in mine.

Which Is The Ex With No Brain And Which Ex Is The Rat

I know for dead sure who the rat is. It’s an ex of mine who served cokes in the sky for a living. It turns out she was also the cheating bicycle in the sky that many other guys got to ride while away on trips, behind my back of course. As for no brain, there is a long list with a lot of them competing to be in the top 10, but can’t even make that list either. The bicycle had stewardess friends who lied to my face as they knew she was cheating on me, with surprisingly little remorse. I always found that revealing about her and her friends. It was a pattern for her.

I’ve met a lot of rats who seemed to function without a brain. Some are in my family. I went to high school with a den of rats. Most that worked with in Armonk or Somers for IBM were that. How they made it through life is beyond me. They are like Forest Gump, only not rich, not famous, not good looking, not friendly and are just surviving at this point. Yet here they are, probably able to survive a nuke with the roaches, in NY

An Introvert After A Networking Or Social Event

Man I hated them at work. I’d do anything to not go to any group anything. I was work at home as early as the 90’s and didn’t miss office anything.

I drove one time 3 hours for a appointment I knew wasn’t going to happen to miss a networking event. It was my only legitimate out. I knew I couldn’t last as long others and I knew I couldn’t go.

What is the worst thing as they turn into a facebook post. People spend the entire event trying to say stuff about themselves to get likes.

About half way in or less as time went on, I stopped talking and went over to sit down unless I had to do some participation.

Maybe going to diversity training, where they tell you how bad you are for how you were born is as taxing on your social battery. I dunno.

An Introvert Dilemma

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone out of my way, taking the stairs instead of elevators, waited for people to pass or leave and any number of tactics to avoid people.

I’ve done it since I was a kid, when I didn’t know I was doing it. Now, we don’t answer the phone and text back with one word, if you have to.

It Looks Like I Finally Managed To Piss Off The Censors

I regularly post about the tragedy that is social media, how government mishandled Covid, that Gates and Fauci are power grabbing beta males and the worst sin of all, saying Covid came from Wuhan.

I have enjoyed posting the dangers of the jab, because meatheads I know can’t believe that I’ve proved it’s poison.

It turned out that I was both ahead of the curve on a lot of things

I predicted it would take it’s toll on my traffic and it did. I still get hits from China watching me properly place blame on their policies and human rights, but the big G search engine didn’t like it at all.

I also got banned by Facebook searches which regularly borrowed my memes. I detailed how to delete fake book many times and why you should do it.

All of that has cut me to about 10% of my usual traffic.

Now, ask me if I care? Why I don’t is that I write this for me. I get my thoughts out there in writing. Being introverted, I’d rather communicate that way rather than orally.

Will I stop? Not a chance. I’m having too much fun lampooning the mistakes.

Heck, the election season is not really in full swing. I can’t wait.

And Let Me Be Clear Why I Don’t Socialize..

Sometimes I like them and just can’t stand to be around them. It’s the way it is. People I don’t speak with don’t think about this, but here is the answer in case you stumble on this post.

No one is exempt, past friends, relatives, schools, you name it. If we were friends, we would be and you’d know it. I won’t say anything or be mean, I just won’t spend time pretending on social banter because everyone is supposed to.

Going Out Or Staying In – The Introvert Dilemma

I was reading a few years back and saw this gem. It was around Christmas time of year and I was fatiguing from the festivities.

For me, that is one of the worst times of the year. The fake happy from people who’s true nature I know is difficult to take. I see it anywhere I go

As I thought about it, I realized that it is so true. It’s really why I don’t go to many social events, especially Christmas parties.

I got tired of pretending to be social and/or having a good time, all they while wishing I could leave. Hell, I usually plan leaving before I go.

Most socials are like fakebook posts. Tell as much as you can about yourself to get likes.

Conversation should be about asking others about them and what is important that they would like to talk about. What I watch is people waiting for a response so that they can talk again. I don’t even try and a lot of time. I’ll just see how long people will talk about themselves and see if I can not say anything. They rarely notice. I won’t offer any information unless I think someone truly cares, but that’s only if I had to go and I’ve already got my exit plan in place.

Introvert Golfing

The snow is finally gone (it did snow last week) and the local course opened, so I made my way out to the course. I had no one to make up a four or even a twosome, so I picked at time and figured I’d get stuck with someone.

Well, the tourists aren’t hear yet. The snow has melted and the skiers are gone. It turns out that it was supposed to rain that day so when I got to the course, the parking lot was empty. I knew my luck couldn’t hold so I went to the range and hit a bucket to warm up and then went to putt on the practice green. It is next to the first tee, so I knew that I could keep an eye on the traffic to get out with as few people in my group as possible.

As it turns out, no one showed up. Even the starter wasn’t there. I took the opportunity to jump on the tee and try for a solo round. Life was on my side and there weren’t golfers for many holes either side of me.

I played 18 hassle free and small talk free golf. I would have paid extra money for this freebie in life.

I’ll be out again this week and I’ll get paired up with someone the rest of the year, but it was a good start.

Looks like I’m starting out the year with a double digit handicap. Playing golf is my other handicap.

The cart is mine. There is no one on any hole in sight, damn near a perfect day for me.

And Now You Get Why Twitter Is So Messed Up Internally

The real cowards won’t play when it’s not their rules. It must be that tough to have words bother you so much that you can’t work for a company.

I find this wildly entertaining that Musk bought a majority stake in hater Twitter. I can’t wait to see what will happen and hope for a wonderful train wreck to entertain me on this one. I am finding Must to be right far more than wrong and am learning to trust non traditional thinkers such as him.

I really don’t think much will happen, but the consternation it will stir up may split the audience for other platforms. That would take away the historical preference for Twitter Twatter.

Like in the movie War Games, sometimes the best move is to not play. I have had a blissful twitter free life now since before Trump. I recommend it or another instant platform of your choice.

I have accounts with all the competitors, but the drain of being on another social media platform is being overpowered by my introverted nature to avoid people.

Not Being Able To Come Back In Time With A Retort: The Story Of My Life – Introvert Troubles

I win almost every argument, hours after it happened. Most people I know can come back with a line that cuts you off at the knees and I can’t think of mine. I’ve given up on the childish retorts and name calling.

It’s always clear to me after the fact what I should have said, and more often than not, I was right, just not in time.

It was the same on the schoolyard. I won very few verbal confrontations.

What have I learned. Don’t play in games that you can’t win. I refuse to talk until I’m ready. I have learned to at least comment that the other person’s retort was mean, uncalled for and at least wrong. After I spend the time dissecting the other person’s points, they have usually forgotten the discussion.

There has been a rare occasion or two in my life when I said the right thing at the right time and surprised the heck out of everyone present. It’s not as satisfying as it would seem because you never know how much you’ve actually won.

Don’t embarrass yourself if you don’t come back. It’s a child’s game usually.

When I do unload though, stay out of the way as I’ve brought enough ammunition to destroy a college debate team.

Mostly, I’ve learned to walk away and realize that it isn’t that important.

My favorite is to get them to realize they were wrong by bringing it up in another conversation, usually days later because I couldn’t think of it at the time.

Why I Post Introvert Information. Hint, It’s Not Just For Introverts (plus meme’s to share), But Mostly Ranting

When I post meme’s, I soon find them on social media platforms (that I haven’t left, but people send it to me). Please, copy and share it so others will understand.

For the extroverts, the world isn’t about you. Take some time to understand that although you are louder and have apparently made the social rules that introverts violate, you aren’t the center of the universe. It also means you don’t have to try and cure Introverts. We are happiest if you’d take the time to understand why they are different than you, and are happier about it than you seem to be.

If you want to speak to me, talk about meaningful and deep subjects and I’ll talk all day. If you small talk, my body may be there, but I guarantee my mind is somewhere else. I have a whole world in my mind that I can go to that no one else is allowed in, unless you have passed the real friendship level.

And another thing, I hate having to listen to people at parties (if by chance I can’t get out of going). It is literally a facebook conversation where everyone is telling as much information about themselves as possible to get likes. I would never share that much information. Plus, it just causes small talk, one of the most wasteful uses of time possible.

I cringe when I hear people share this much information. I don’t care about them at this level, but really, there is a lot of personal stuff that you just shouldn’t talk about. It always comes back to bite you and yes, the other person is judging you and criticizing you inside no matter how nice you/they seem, bless your heart. Seriously, I don’t care about most of what your are talking about because you never asked if I was interested. If I wanted to know, I’d ask. Extroverts assume people care about their problems or things/other people that I’ll never meet. I do care about your pets though.

I will check out your bathroom because that’s where I’m going the minute the conversation drones on or my energy battery has hit empty.

Here’s a good hint, the minute I enter a room full of people, I check out the escape routes so I can get out/away as quickly as I have to. I see if there are any pets to play with. They are usually more interesting than small talk.

So here are the latest meme’s to share. Please steal them and post everywhere.

That’s not just high school. Go back to elementary, Jr high, even college. No reunions for me.
In case you thought I was coming or wanted to small talk
See above, especially WPHS
I left that shit show a while back. My life was immediately better

This one above is for my ex’s, most people I went to school with and most that I worked with.

Extroverts who have to dominate the conversation, see the people I had to grow up with, including some family.
Oh Dear God, thank you.
Be very careful. I can be the best and worst of both. Once you cross me, don’t bother trying to be friends again, it ain’t happening.

Happy VD

Since it is a fake holiday made up by the companies to sell you stuff and make single people feel bad, I don’t give this a check mark as a real holiday worth celebrating.

It also is amateur day that gets people out on the road/town to do stuff that costs more on this day only. It’s also like New Years Eve when a lot of people get drunk that aren’t prepared for it and do stupid stuff like drive. The difference is that on VD, they get drunk and have kids they weren’t planning.

I thought it was stupid in school when we had to get a pack of cards for every kid in the class. I never knew if I got one from everyone because I didn’t care enough to check. I wasn’t insecure like the kids that took offense if they didn’t get one from everybody. Today, they are Karen’s.

I never like it when you are held hostage to do something (like all of the Christmas holidays) instead of one that you voluntarily do, like this holiday. It’s far more fun for guys and seems a lot more sincere.

Anyway, here’s my lack of effort to celebrate a fake day.

Thanks Phil for this one.

This Happens To Me A Lot

Being an introvert, I get along well with pets, especially dogs, and surprisingly little kids.

The kids thing is they haven’t been ruined by adults yet, and are sort of like pets.

It’s people I have the most trouble with. Most of that trouble is just not wanting to be around them or small talk if I don’t have to.

Pets are great and we understand each other.

The Truth About Selfies

Selfies are Me, me, me. It’s all about me and getting likes.

It’s why introverts have a life advantage, we have no need to show off about what we eat, drink, who we are with and what we do. I’ve noticed that the more intelligent also don’t have the need to be so narcissistic.

On my rare social media posts, it’s usually about my dog.

My New Favorite Introvert Book

Once you can handle being alone, the rest of life isn’t a problem and you are free from the grips of other people ruining/ruling your life.

I am the president of the being alone club.

Introvert Stuff – Blaise Pascal On Being Alone

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone,” Blaise Pascal wrote in the 17th century.

I like others and have socialized for many decades, but given the choice I’d rather be alone.

I watch people who don’t know what to do with themselves if they are alone. Now, a lot of people don’t know what to do with themselves without a phone.

Instead of looking at it as withdrawing from others, I view it as learning to enjoy the time alone and discover the real me.

Writing has been invaluable to me. I write here, but my diaries are hundreds of thousands of words that are how I find out who I am and how to cope with the day to day issues. It helps me put my thoughts together before I have to face people because most can out talk me before I can put my thoughts together cogently.

Once you have mastered the ability to be alone, you have freed yourself from the bonds of others to live life on your own terms.

The Truth About Old People

You also don’t give a shit so you say what needs saying. I stopped caring whether people liked me a long time ago. If they don’t, it’s one less person to have to worry about. I can do it while being polite too, so it’s not an asshole thing.

Not caring what people think, another of my super powers.

January 2nd, World Introvert Day, How To Celebrate

Actually, every day is national introvert day for me. I couldn’t be happier not having to deal with the drain and drama that other people are.

Now, how to celebrate? I’m not telling anyone other than what I type here. It’s my day and no one else needs to know. I’m sure other introverts know, but they don’t want to make a big deal of it either. It’s like birthdays and holidays. I’d rather not have them as too much is made of them when in fact they are just another day.

Here are some things I will be doing:

Members Of Introverts Anonymous Meeting Fail To Show For ...
Meeting of the Introverts anonymous support group

And finally, a great article on the 7 things Introverts can teach you on Introvert Day, like why alone time is important, how to recharge, deeper relationships with people and introverts superpower.

Saturday Mood, Don’t Forget World Introvert Day Is Tomorrow

So I dedicated this to our current government, Fauci, the Jab, the CCP, MSM, celebtards, sportstards, freeloaders who could be working, social media and those trying to control the narrative on things like Covid, Election Fraud, race hustlers, mail in ballots and a lot of other 2021 crap.

There, did I cover everything? I think not but I’ll get to it in 2022.

Oh, and Epstein didn’t hang himself and neither will Ghislaine Maxwell.

Happy New Year

Happy 202(too)

Here’s hoping that it’s a better year than the last two.

My New Year’s resolution is the same as every year. I don’t have one because they are nonsense. Most people break them and it is a childish tradition. If you don’t have enough discipline to do what needed to be done without it being a new year, you don’t have much chance at making this one either.

I am a lot happier that way without having to live up to other people’s expectations, which is what it really is.

I wish the same for everyone that they have a happy day and year. At least we have an election to look forward to. Maybe we’ll return to sanity.

New Years Eve, How I Celebrate As An Introvert

First of all, this like Valentines Day are celebrations I call amateur night. People who make a huge deal of a day don’t know how to handle it and these are the ones that over do it. I avoid them and the carnage they bring on others from being too boisterous, not being sincere to who they really are to doing things like driving drunk and causing unnecessary harm to others.

To me, it’s just another day. Hopefully I’ll wake up tomorrow, and if I do, it will be the same as every other day. I can enjoy it for being the day that it is without having to heap any false hype on it.

I don’t recall being up at midnight in recent years because I’d rather sleep and feel better tomorrow. I gave up drinking a long time ago and will feel a lot better than the pretenders who think that they need to be the life of the party. I don’t have to put my hope of entertainment on an event that isn’t significant on 12:01.

Sure, some will call me a party-pooper, but then I’d have to care what others think of me, and I don’t. I’m not motivated by likes on social media either because I have a life lived on my terms. Not being defined by others has helped me not to be dependent on others for my happiness.

I don’t have any regrets for acting the fool because I overdid it the night before.

I hope others enjoy and do whatever it is that they are going to do. I don’t need the attention and am happier with my dog and a book.

Oh, I live with an extrovert. It doesn’t make her any happier, but I’ve been clear that you can’t make me extroverted because you are. She’s come to realize that tomorrow will happen just like today, yesterday and the day before.

No one will give a tinkers damn about New Years in a couple of days anyway, so I don’t today.

I don’t suffer from expectations not met, or hangovers that aren’t necessary.

Why You Should Think Twice About Flying First Class

I dated a flight attendant who survived the Dallas Crash where they discovered wind sheer. She made it when only about 30 of 300 survived. She was at the back of the plane. I read that you have a better chance of surviving statistically in the back of a crashing plane.

I’d just rather not crash.

I’m exercising my Covid excuse not to go somewhere right now by just not flying.

Saturday Introvert

I feel this way a lot of the time, not just Saturday. I hadn’t thought about doing the cough one, but I am now if someone doesn’t social distance or I can’t avoid them.

There are a lot of conversations I don’t start. As soon as I leave the house it’s on.

And this next one, I have way more conversations in my head than with others, even though it is about them. Just like the one above, it’s not worth it to talk to them, but way worth it to talk about them to me.

It’s why I don’t go to high school or college reunions. The people who are my friends and that I want to talk with, I do. If I don’t, this is the reason.

How I end 90% of my conversations, usually with one word…right, fine, good, ok.

When I give up trying because the other person just isn’t worth it (or all of my ex’s, I just wish I’d learned it in college).

Things I’ve Learned Once I Understood That I Was An Introvert And Who I Am

Because of my personality, being loyal was a trait that overrode protecting myself. I did a lot of stuff that while during it, was a terrible chore. I did my duty because I thought it was my responsibility. I gave myself completely to friendships when all of the effort was for naught. Afterwards, I frequently felt betrayed by others. They didn’t do any share of the relationship or a joint project.

This first happened to me at single digits of age and continued through my work career and hobbies like biking.

I recall the feeling of being betrayed by others and realized they were self-centered. I didn’t understand this concept and had to learn about it the hard way. I had extended myself only to have my minimal expectations (some sense of returned loyalty) ignored or rebuffed.

Being a pattern person, I recognized what was going on and finally started withdrawing my full commitment. This bothered me as I hate giving less than 100% to a friendship or a task, and it gave me no satisfaction. In fact I felt I was selling myself short. The outcome was predictable every time.

Finally, after realizing that guarding myself was more important than worrying about what others might think, I started saying no. I didn’t want to anymore. I didn’t want to go through what I knew would be a one sided effort that left me disappointed again and again. I was tired of being hurt or betrayed. Others do it easily without concern for anyone. I had to learn to say no.

This was tough to do at first, but I had to protect myself or life would continue to be tough on me. I was tough on myself more than others.

I found that there is some initial pain on both sides of the relationship, but mostly mine. It has saved me in the long run. I now don’t do a lot of things that I know are just not going to be worth it. I’m much more careful as to what I’m going to commit to, either in tasks or relationships.

I’ve found some peace once I realized that others don’t give a shit usually other than about themselves. They quickly forget about it and me. I don’t get over it near as quickly, feeling that I’ve let someone down, but it passes and I realize that I’ve prioritized myself rather than others because it was necessary. It’s not selfish, rather a means of self-protection for me.

Of course, I thought I “suffered” from Mauerbauertraurigheit, but then it became my friend and I’ve eliminated a lot of grief. I used to give and give until I was overwhelmed to the point that I completely withdrew and couldn’t control doing so. Now, I recognize it in advance and purposely do it when I know it’s not going to be worth it.

I weigh the benefit against the cost and don’t do a “duty” or what I perceive as an expectation. There is a price for my loyalty, it is at least some in return. Otherwise, you don’t see me anymore.

Anti-Social Device

I’ve enjoyed social distancing. It allows me to keep people away that I don’t want to talk to. I can see it coming a mile away and with Covid I can pull away, claiming the 6 foot “health” distance.

I can’t stand it when people get in your face and won’t take the social hint that I want to be done. I try not to be rude, but some people have to be stopped. This is perfect. Some people won’t take no for an answer. This is the perfect no.

As usual, I probably shouldn’t be allowed to have one as I would use it too often. I’d probably burn it out from overuse.

Sayings By Socrates – On Smart and Stupid People

It’s why I don’t bother even continuing the conversation with some people who want to challenge me just to prove they are right.

It just gives me another reason not to talk to people if I don’t have to. I love talking to the smart ones about deep topics, but there aren’t that many around.

An Introvert Hideout – The Library

The book stores in my new town are scarce and don’t offer what I was looking for. It was the standard issue current stuff, mostly by people that don’t interest me – celebtards.

I had to go downtown for the annual insurance rodeo and the Library was a block away. I figured what the hay, I’ll get a card and kill a little time and check out the selection. I figured I was in it for a biography.

To my surprise, although the parking lot was full, there was only 4 people in there, 3 of whom were employees. There were alcoves to hide out in and I realized that it will be a great place to escape to. They had workrooms for people with laptops, but I saw rooms to escape to.

The parking downtown is tight (it’s only about 4 blocks long) and the cars were people shopping, not looking at books.

Best of all, I found some John MacDonald / Travis McGee books I couldn’t get anywhere else. Occasionally in my old town, I could find them in the 2nd hand bookstore, but it was so unorganized that I don’t think they knew what they had.

It was quiet, not because it was a library, but because there was nobody there.

I realized what a goldmine that was going to be for me. I can see where I’ll be when I need some time alone.

It is an introvert heaven, books, quiet and no people.

Scenes At The Farmers Market

I like getting food from the local suppliers. It’s always fresher and taste better than from the commercial store.

Up where I am is a hippie type college town. I see a lot of people that are different than the usual man on the street. I’m ok with it as the food will be natural, meat will be grass fed and non GMO and the produce picked the day before. I keep to myself as usual.

Of course this week was the Halloween theme. It wasn’t too crazy, but I thought I’d share some pictures rather than my usual sarcasm. Don’t worry, I’ll get to that. Note, this is one of the few times that I’ll share pictures of myself. It’s a big step for an introvert who shy’s away from social media.

Anyway, here it is.

She said to say I met this witch at the farmers market.

Things To Do This Thanksgiving, Introvert Advice

While I’m being sarcastic, if your family and friends bug you and you want some quiet holidays, this will help your Christmas be less stressful. Nothing gets to me as an Introvert like holidays and fake feelings, fake fun and people. Anytime I can tone it down, I will. It’s much easier to take that way. Why do people have to act different just because they are told to?

Pick either side, you don’t even have to believe in it. Pick Biden or Trump and say how bad or good they are. Don’t worry, you will piss someone off either way. Use woke subjects like BLM or LGBT2+WXYZ or whatever it is now and take sides (see what I did there? Some woke person just got mad).

I hate the false build up that comes with the holidays. They’ve expanded it to before Thanksgiving now. I went shopping today and the Christmas stuff is already out. SMH.

Going To A Movie As An Introvert

I rarely want to go out where there are people other than for exercise, groceries or to walk the dog.

I wanted to see Venom – Let There Be Carnage, but had the dilemma of not wanting to go. I clearly remember thinking that I’d rather stream it at home and considered bailing, but it wasn’t an option for me to view. I had another errand to do (Auto Zone, an approved Introverted place to shop) so I forced myself.

When I got to the theater, I saw that there was only one other car in the parking lot. It was a good sign. I picked the earliest showing in the day to avoid people. I was going to a geek movie so I expected the worst and that they would be at my theater of course, one of 8 at the complex.

To my delight, I was in a room that held 100 people and for the entirety of my stay, I was alone, damn near perfect.

I of course brought Clorox wipes to disinfect everything and actually enjoyed being there. One other person would have ruined it for me.

I originally saw Venom on TV because I had some time to kill and wound up loving the story. I really wanted to see the sequel and the cards lined up for me today.

I got to see Captain Kirk finally get to space and got to experience being the only one in a huge theater to see one of the few movies I’d actually pay for. It is a good movie to see. I wouldn’t bring a date though. It’s definitely not a Rom-Com.

I know it sounds weird to most, but if you are introverted this will resonate and you’ll wish you were me.

C’est la Guerre.

Introverts and Covid, An Interesting Match

Yes, I’ve used it. It’s gotten me out of a lot of things I didn’t have to make up an excuse to not go, or to just disappoint others by saying no.

Cheap, but effective.

Facebook Still Sucks

To get a full understanding of how bad it is, the WSJ ran a series on the Facebook files recently. Link here but it might require a subscription. It points out the obvious, but also that it’s such a screwed up company now that it can’t get out of it’s own way.

It talked about how it ruins the lives of people, especially teen aged girls. Zuckerberg then said how it enhances peoples lives in a washing machine spin of doublespeak.

They block who they don’t like and let who they do like post anything, even against their own policies.

Now the Facebook fact checkers just censored peer reviewed science because it doesn’t fit the narrative.

And this about Zuck:

Facebook Investor: Company Paid $5 Billion to FTC as ‘Quid Pro Quo’ to Shield Zuckerberg

Fortunately, I don’t care as I cancelled them. It along with Twitter are helping to ruin the country and people’s lives around the world. It has taken a political position on things. I don’t care which side it picks, but it should have been a neutral platform.

Instead, it is now a high school place where you are a part of the in crowd or not. Those with a triple digit IQ should move to a better and more productive place, like going outside and enjoying life.

It was too childish for me and I didn’t want to open it anymore to see the spew that comes from it.

I still talk to those who really are my friends. Most of them were never on Facebook.

For Introverts, not being on it also lets you escape from a lot of noise that sucks your personal energy and time.

How I (any introvert) Feels When They Go To A Party/Social Event

I start planning my escape the minute I hear that I can’t get out of an event. I just want to minimize the pain of small talk and social crap. This even if I like the people.

It has nothing to do with Covid. My social energy battery starts draining as soon as I hear I have to go.

I can spend endless time however one on one with someone that I can have a deep conversation with, or a dog.

Tuesday Saying, Who Are The Normal People – Joe Ancis

“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.”

I swear this is true. I’ve found that everyone has a story. Some people call it skeletons, but when you hear about their lives, it weaves together who they really are. Pretty soon, you have to decide if they are worth it.

There are generally patterns to people and they repeat them, almost predictably. The more you find out, the less you want to do with them, except certain activities you can stand to do together.

There are some that overlook a lot of stuff because they wish to be with someone. That’s why people flock to celebtards for example.

I had to deal with a lot of famous people in my life. After spending only a little time with them, I couldn’t wait to get away.

Fortunately, there are a few people who truly who have a list of qualities that are better than their bad ones. I hope you can find a few.

The rest are people who are people. They show themselves to be who they are. You just learn about it over time. You have to decide if you will be putting up with or they need to be eliminated from your life to avoid being poisoned.

Then there is Mauerbauertraurigheit, or pulling away from groups that just need cleansing from your life.

Finally, examine yourself. You probably are that person to others. I guess try not to be, but don’t fake it, be yourself. If you don’t belong, don’t. If one of you is not normal and it’s not the other person, it’s you.

The Introvert Meme That Describes Life

I’m old enough to be past it yet even yesterday it happened. Some douchebag had 4 containers of strawberries open and was picking out the best ones. He was touching all the food and stealing from the store.

I could have asked politely to stop it. Instead, I gave him shit for about 5 minutes, not once but twice and threatened to call the store manager on him. While others were thanking me, including the employees stocking the shelves, I still wish I could have done it calmer.

Had we not been in public, I would have decked him and had to hold myself back from doing so. I should be more mature, but no. My social skills that I’ve practiced for decades deserted me and I lost it in public. I’m usually emotionless, preferring to avoid people as much as possible and yet I go off on someone in the middle of the grocery store.

I still feel I was in the right to stop it, but surely could have acted more like an adult than a schoolyard adolescent.

How To Get To Know An Introvert

There are a lot of jokes about extroverts adopting introverts and so forth, but the answer on really how to get to know one is less obvious to the world. It is clear as a bright sunshine day to introverts.

I know I have little patience for small talk. I don’t want to hear about surface level nonsense that is mostly irrelevant. It becomes a Facebook discussion on saying anything you can to get the most likes in the conversation.

That is a social rule that was written by extroverts because they are louder and dominate the discussions. When the yapping starts, I watch the introverts shutting down. It is mentally draining. It takes me days to recover from having to listen to this.

I’d rather just not talk and I don’t go to a lot of things just to not to have to hear it. I like the people, but the energy draining isn’t worth it.

On the other hand, if you want to talk about something meaningful, watch me open up. We don’t have to talk about derivative equations, but cut the shit and meaningless banter. I have a great depth of knowledge on many subjects and enjoy the conversation that is intellectually stimulating.

Fortunately, I am not bound by whether someone likes me for what I say or comply to. There are a lot of times I’m grateful that someone thinks I may be anti-social because I don’t want to listen to gossip. It’s usually a hate fest anyway.

I had an oncologist tell me that girls will tell other girls how good they look when it is awful, just so they will wear it and look bad. How effed up is that? They hate each other and I don’t want to hear about it.

So get to know me. That is two fold. Don’t gossip or try to keep the conversation going for the sake of talking. The other is try to go below the surface and show that you have thoughts about something sincere, really anything. Try pets for example. How tough is that?

I’ll do my part and even put up with the introductory small talk to get to know you, but if it doesn’t go past that very soon and you start repeating the same thing, or if it’s just trashing someone else, I’m out.

I develop Mauerbauertraurigheit (definition and discussion here) quickly and am gone.