Category: fun

I Love My Dogs With Pictures

I’ve had multiple dogs over the years. They have all had different personalities and I loved them all, in different ways.

Barney was my first dog when I was a kid. I don’t have a picture, but he was part Boxer/part mutt. We got him from a friend of my Dad’s when he was going off to seminary and had to give him up. As far as I was concerned, he was always ours. He went to the beach with us on vacation and was part of the family.

Those were the pre-leash law days so he roamed the neighborhood on his own. He left his mark on the street with many little Barney’s and some pissed off neighbors. Dogs will be dogs. He was a car chaser and got hit. He recovered, but as Mom said, it took the spirit out of him.

When I got my S*** together in life, we got Conan. He was a rambunctious Golden. Through a breeding mistake, he got hip displaysia and only lasted 10 years. He was happy and had a good life. I learned how to train dogs and we bonded. As with all our dogs, I understood what he needed and took care of all his medical needs.

Bandit was my day pal. We picked her up from a breeder. I’ll be honest, we got a boxer because we wanted a smaller dog than Conan and a female, but we got a bundle of energy that was more than 3 Conan’s. As I think back, we got her because of Barney. They were the same color and size. She was fearless and friendly and loved everyone.

We named her Bandit from the dog in the Jonny Quest comics that I watched faithfully.

I was working at home by now. Being an introvert, I was happier being with her than people and she was by my side. We were together almost 15 years. It was almost like ET and Elliot. I knew what she needed intuitively. Where I went, she went. I took care of all her needs and she was my dog more than anyone in the family because of her.

Bandit

I got her ashes, but couldn’t bear to bury them until I processed my feelings. I planted a dwarf Japanese Maple and she rests now forever there.

Bandit’s Tree

After taking a year off when Bandit finally left us, we decided to venture into the dog game again. I decided on a rescue and took my son to adopt another dog. He was with me when we got Bandit, but being so young, I picked Bandit from the litter to try and get the right one.

He helped me with picking out Boone. He noticed that out of all the dogs we looked at, he was the most gentile. While he looks lie a black lab, we later found out that he was part Boxer, so I guess that is a the theme in my life. He doesn’t have the energy that Bandit did, but neither do I anymore.

He is a great dog. Again he and I bonded more than anyone else in the family, even though he loves everyone and every other dog. Cats and deer, not so much.

My son was attached to Bandit and to Boone. When he went on his own, he got his own dog Raider. She is also colored like Bandit, but is a mix of a lot of breeds, a mutt. She is a great dog, but with a lot of energy. She is less friendly with other dogs, but loves Boone.

Without trying, I bonded with her also. She knows I’m an alpha and that I am the lead dog in the pack.

I know what they all have needed and what they like, it’s almost a sixth sense. I’m not a dog whisperer, rather through observation and empathy, we know we are together.

I love my dogs and they love me. When I have people problems, the dogs have always been there. I’ve been fortunate that they have all been good dogs.

Sometimes when life goes to shit, they are the only friends I have, at least it feels that way. They always by my side, without any pretension other than wanting to be with me.

My Age, In Pictures

We played war in the streets, along with baseball, football and I drove those cars thousands of miles in the sandbox. We actually learned things rather than looking it up on a phone. Common sense was far more available to us than it is to the snowflakes.

The cars today are driving computers, but you can’t work on them yourself, you need to plug it in to tell you what is wrong. I miss the smooth sound of a V-12, or the deep throated sound of a V-8 in a pony car.

I’ll leave the girls alone other than it was a more genuine look, but our music was way better that what you hear today.

Covid Sarcasm – I Went To A Super Spreader Event Last Night

I was at the App State v Coastal Carolina game, probably the game of the week. There were over 31,000 super spreaders that Fauci warned us about.

I’ll report back if there is an outbreak here, but I doubt it. There have been games everywhere since August with little to no outbreaks or breakthroughs.

I guarantee you that there were both vaxxed and un-vaxxed at the game last night. Both have an equal chance at getting it like every other game we were told not to go to.

The game was won on the last play and the 14th ranked team went down in flames. The crowd spilled onto the field, certainly spreading Covid everywhere. Ha!

A good time was had by all, except Fauci, the CDC, NIH, WHO, Congress and Washington DC.

Going To A Movie As An Introvert

I rarely want to go out where there are people other than for exercise, groceries or to walk the dog.

I wanted to see Venom – Let There Be Carnage, but had the dilemma of not wanting to go. I clearly remember thinking that I’d rather stream it at home and considered bailing, but it wasn’t an option for me to view. I had another errand to do (Auto Zone, an approved Introverted place to shop) so I forced myself.

When I got to the theater, I saw that there was only one other car in the parking lot. It was a good sign. I picked the earliest showing in the day to avoid people. I was going to a geek movie so I expected the worst and that they would be at my theater of course, one of 8 at the complex.

To my delight, I was in a room that held 100 people and for the entirety of my stay, I was alone, damn near perfect.

I of course brought Clorox wipes to disinfect everything and actually enjoyed being there. One other person would have ruined it for me.

I originally saw Venom on TV because I had some time to kill and wound up loving the story. I really wanted to see the sequel and the cards lined up for me today.

I got to see Captain Kirk finally get to space and got to experience being the only one in a huge theater to see one of the few movies I’d actually pay for. It is a good movie to see. I wouldn’t bring a date though. It’s definitely not a Rom-Com.

I know it sounds weird to most, but if you are introverted this will resonate and you’ll wish you were me.

C’est la Guerre.

Captain Kirk Finally Gets to Go Into Real Space, The Final Frontier – But May Return Alone Or The Only One Alive

This morning, William Shatner will ride aboard Blue Origin at 90 years of age to be the oldest person ever in space. He missed being the first actor in space by a week as the Russians did that to shoot a movie.

Anyone who knows Star Trek fully gets that the red shirts are the ones who get it on away missions.

He isn’t the first Star Trek Alumni to go to space, just the first one that is alive. Some ashes of Scottie and Gene Roddenbery were sent up a few years back.

There is always the Who is the best Star Trek captain or best series. I am in the TOS camp. The rest use the TOS playbook, but with less daring, panache, creativeness and conquest. For Picard, Sisko, Janeway and Archer fans, they wouldn’t be Captains in the running if there wasn’t a Kirk, end of story.

Even in the movies, the best one is always the Wrath of Khan. It has the best villain, ironic ending and mano a mano story.

I have been a huge Trekkie all of my life. I was alive and watched it during it’s actual first run. When Chekov discovered the Botany Bay on Ceti-Alpha 5, I had goose bumps in the Theater.

The only thing that bothers me about this is that the Enterprise NCC-1701 was a cool ship. Blue Origin looks like a flying dick.

Anyway, live long and prosper.

Blue Origin Employees Accuse Jeff Bezos' Company of ...

All Winning Streaks Come To An End, Matt Amodio Finally Loses On Jeopardy

After setting the second longest winning streak at 38 games with winnings of over $1.5 million, it happened last night.

Matt Amodio finally lost. You could feel it happening as he kept missing. In a way, it was almost like he wanted to end it because he wasn’t ringing in and was wrong when he did.

He was a great champion and was good for the ratings and the game.

I’ve seen all the champions win and lose. It is usually the same, a perfect storm where they answer wrong, the categories are not in their strengths and another contestant gets hot. That happened last night.

He also missed final Jeopardy after being nearly perfect for weeks.

He will be back in the Tournament of Champions. I look forward to it as he was also likeable, which sometimes they are not.

I’m sure he helped the ratings as everyone follows a streak, whether you want the person to win or lose. I pulled for him because he had a huge range of knowledge and bet big. He employed the James Holzhauer strategy of playing, something that takes big balls to do.

The people that de-throne the champions usually only last a couple of games.

I watched before Ken Jennings had the 74 game winning streak 17 years ago and I’ll watch tonight. The reason is the same, I want to get more right than the contestants.

My Personal War On Woke Now Includes My Sarcastic Profile On LinkedIn

Update: I just put that woke pronouns are silly. I’ll keep finding new ways to needle them for being woke.

I was very early to LinkedIn, as I was to blogging, Twitter, Facebook and others.

When I got fed up with them going woke or being so biased that I didn’t trust them, I de-platformed Twitter and Facebook.

Recently, LinkedIn stopped allowing revenue to anyone who is in their words a climate change denier. I worked in the Green and Sustainability Industry long enough to learn these things about climate and politics.

  1. At the top, it is about money and power, not saving the planet.
  2. The people that believe it treat it as their religion. The ones I’ve met are the real science deniers. This just confirmed it.
  3. You can’t change the weather, it comes in cycles.
  4. Bonus: They are hiding the past where the weather was the same as it is now. It’s a version of 1984 Newspeak.
  5. Double Bonus: It is based on predictions that never come true, they just predict another one.
  6. Triple Bonus: when they debunk the current cause of global warming, they change it as they do the name (note I used the first name of this nonsense).
  7. Quadruple Bonus: Carbon Dioxide is plant food. It’s why they plant trees for an offset.
  8. Quintuple Bonus: Almost everyone likes warmer weather and farmers grow more.
  9. Not a Bonus: As with LinkedIn, when they don’t agree or lose the argument, they try to shut down the discussion and facts. I expect to lose readers at this point and doubt they’ll read any further, missing the point of the post.
  10. Also not a Bonus: It is an excuse for everything from racism to global cooling.

“If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. The origin of myths is explained in this way.” – Bertrand Russell

As soon as there is a problem, they change their tune and are now burning coal in China and Europe.

My pronouns went from woke pronouns are silly, to ho/hum and finally they/lied, just like Al Gore and Fauci, care of Elon.

So, when I heard that LinkedIn banished one side of the conversation on anything, I changed my profile to poke fun at them. Here are some of the changes.

My education is now Faber -Knowledge is Good. I put my fraternity as Delta Tau Chi. If you don’t get this reference, you missed one of the all time funniest movies. It was also a stab at my real college that went woke. I won’t even mention them here because I banished them too. I’ve recently changed it to Sigma Epsilon Chi, Eta Pi chapter. That’s SEX fraternity, one I made up in college.

I changed my current Job to writing a sarcastic blog and not finishing several books. This is actually true. I was in their Associates Program which is for freelancers, but I’m blowing them off now.

The rest of my work life is true for now, but I don’t give enough of a tinkers damn to take LinkedIn serious now, so I’m having fun where I can.

I now want to freelance the boil of wokeness that is on the ass of regular people by elites who think they know better.

I decided I didn’t care that much about them to take them seriously. Besides, I retired because I hate the corporate nonsense. See here, here and here for the above stated wankers.

You got the bonus plan:

12 other woke companies to avoid

Friday Humor, Looney Tunes/Marvin The Martian Style

I loved all the Bugs Bunny cartoons. Marvin the Martian was his foil in a couple. That was when we didn’t have a cancel culture and weren’t afraid of making fun of things without being castrated on Social Media.

I saw every one of them as a kid. I saw every one of them as an adult and appreciated them even more. My kids know every time I reference an episode. It’s even better when they reference one to me.

Here is the illudiam Q-36 explosive space modulator, to blow up the Earth.

And some funny memes

Blog Post That You Can Smell

I had a bunch of these as a kid. When I didn’t have a gun, we used to hit the caps with a hammer. We got brave and hit the whole roll at once for a bigger bang.

I am not sorry they didn’t have video games when I was a kid. I can smell the gunpowder as I type this. I discovered a lot of things because of boredom and curiosity in life.

Blogs I Follow – Knuckledraggin’ My Life Away

I decided to break from Covid vaccine bashing (I’ll be back, don’t worry) and give some shout outs to those who deserve it.

Ken the wirecutter writes this blog. You should go over there and donate because I think that is how he makes a living.

Why do I like it? I first started when I found your Florida report for the day. I’m originally from there and it is so true. I didn’t realize how many idiots were there until he pointed it out.

I like that he doesn’t care about offending anyone. One of his regular posts is shit I post on Facebook. I think it’s great that he tries to get banned. If you’ve read much of my blog, you already know how much I loathe fake book and happily got rid of my account. That he ties up their time to review the hilarious stuff he posts there kills me.

There are posts like, roast me, fucking Mondays, Friday gif dump and I’m sure she’s taken men that I look forward to. I went through the loss of his 2 dogs and now he’s left with Jack the asshole dog that found him with a broken tail.

His sarcasm, wit and creativeness is a breath of fresh air for me and I hope it is for you.

I linked to him in the posts that I follow and hope he links back as his audience is big. He also is in cahoots with other blogs I’m going to call out.

Keep it up Ken. I love your stuff.

Some Good News – Matt Amodio Ties James Holzhauer for 2nd Most Wins of All Time on Jeopardy

Matt Amodio Becomes Third Jeopardy! Player to Win $1M in ...

Almost everyone watches or has watched Jeopardy. I have for decades. It is the greatest game show ever. It is also one of the few that the Celebtards haven’t ruined yet because it doesn’t have anything to do with SJW and PC crap. I challenges your mind and memory. I love anything intellectually stimulating.

People play against the contestants from their living rooms. It happens without trying. You want to know how smart you are. There are a lot of strategies and when you think you know them, someone comes up with a new one, like James Holzhauer. I regularly beat the players, but I’m also good on the practice range in golf.

Every once in a while, someone goes on a run. Ken Jennings did 74 games in a row in the 2000’s. A couple of years ago, Holzhauer ran off 32 games and the top money scores of all times except for Jennings. He was about to overtake Ken in less than half the games due to his aggressive betting and incredible knowledge. He was a breath of fresh air. He turned the game upside down by going for the big money clues first, hunting for the Double Jeopardy clues and a willingness to risk a lot.

Last night, Matt Amodio, Ph.D student from Connecticut tied Holzhauer at 32 games in a row and is over a million dollars in winnings, the 3rd most (not counting tournaments of champions, Brad Rutter holds that record).

Tonight, October 1st, Matt could go into 2nd all time for games won. Nothing against James, but I want to see him keep winning.

Everyone loves a streak. In the movie Bull Durham, Kevin Costner told meat “a player on a streak has to respect the streak”. It becomes almost superstitious in baseball and I wonder how it will go for Matt.

It makes for great entertainment. It is the main reason we turn to sports or shows. Back to celebtards and sportstards, they ruin things like the NFL, NBA, WNBA, MBA and most movies and shows with PC crap.

The Jeopardy streak is about intellect, strategy and a little luck.

What is great about Matt is that he is a nice guy. He is respectful to the players past and present and keeps winning. He never says stupid things like “let’s make it a true daily double”. Instead, he bets everything in the Jeopardy round by saying his earnings. His knowledge and intellect is impressive.

He also says What’s (the question) instead of who when it is a person. I like that he has his own style. He has a great poker face on Final Jeopardy and you never know if he’s answered it correctly until it’s revealed. He currently is over 92% right on Final Jeopardy.

The reason I never could be on is that I am only about 30% on Final Jeopardy.

His betting has become aggressive like Holzhauer. I love big bets. It makes the game far more exciting. It separates champions from players or one or two day wonders.

The only regret I have is that Alex Trebeck isn’t there to share it. He made the game what it is.

Trebeck noted the different things about players and that champions are far more willing to bet big.

Sooner or later the streak will be over. It has been a great run. It usually happens when the champion misses a big bet and someone else gets lucky. That victor rarely lasts more than a couple of days. That is the luck part of the show. It’s usually bad luck that ends a streak.

My Childhood Was Awesome, Part 2

I played endless paper football between and before class in middle school. We had benches and tables that were perfect.

I could kick the way the picture is above and from one of the sides (where the fold is)

I could make a paper football today, after not making one for decades because I’ve made so many.

It was real life video games for us back then.

I also pitched quarters, but I hated losing money, why gambling was never one of my vices.

Apparently, The Era Of Fake Boobs Is Over

Image

I see this as a good thing. Store bought boobs never really looked that great. You can always tell, clothed or not. They even feel wrong.

Here’s the deal. Everyone, especially straight guys will look at any boobs. If there is about to be a fight and some girl takes off her top, the fight stops.

In reality, girls tell me they dress up for other girls. Guys don’t care that much. There is a joke that we’d be happier if you showed up naked with a 6 pack. We’re just happy to have some boobs around.

I’ve talked to girls about them and even they like boobs. They may judge each other and must have some reason like insecurity or to show off to get augmented, but that is a personal decision.

I am happy for those who get re-construction after a mastectomy, but that is not what store bought fake boobs when you have perfectly good ones is about.

Finally, here are songs that tells you we like them no matter what shape, size or age they are.

Vegan Humor, All You Need Now Is Bacon

I have nothing against them, except they always tell you they are vegan. I feel sorry that they don’t get to enjoy the bacon cheeseburger that I’m having tonight.

Oh, I won’t be telling anyone I’m not vegan. They don’t want to know that either.

Regarding Monday Mornings

I swear I wrote this in my journal this morning. I was grateful that I got rid of that ball and chain a long time ago. I busted ass for a long time to be in this position and it is worth it, I Gar-un-tee it!

Sure I’m older now and don’t have as many years left, but Sunday night doesn’t suck as much knowing that if it’s a bad one, I don’t have to hate the next 24 hours.

When I watched the NFL before it went woke, I used to go to Monday Night Football and get home late and not sober. How I made it to work the next day and was able to get through it is beyond me now. I guess I was young and it didn’t affect me like it does now, even though I gave up all my bad habits.

Just not being able to sleep, which happens a lot now can ruin the next day.

I think I’m better off older.

Random Funny Thoughts

I had amnesia once — or twice.

*****

Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

*****

I am neither for nor against apathy.

*****

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

*****

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

*****

What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

*****

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

*****

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

******

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

*****

One nice thing about egotists … they don’t talk about other people.

*****

My weight is perfect for my height … which varies.

*****

I used to be indecisive. Now, I’m not sure.

*****

The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.

*****

How can there be self-help groups

*****

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.

*****

Is it just me, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Happy 917 Day – For Those Who Get It

Pin by Geoff Daly on Porsche917 | Sports car racing ...

This is Jo Siffert at Daytona in 1970 in a Gulf Porsche 917. Out of all of the versions of this dominating car, this was both my favorite and my first encounter with it. He was my favorite driver and died too young.

It was the first time I’d seen a car go over 200 MPH in person. I was young, so it was impressive.

I was already a Porschefile by this point, but that day cemented it home.

I’ve seen them race many times, but I was with my Dad that day and it still is memorable for me.

Later, the car was the star of the movie Le Mans. Steve McQueen was in the movie, the king of cool, but the car outshone him.

Some call it the greatest sports car ever, and for those of us who have seen it race, we understand why.

After all…..this is the greatest line ever in a car movie.

NFL, Doubling Down On Stupid

They sang 2 songs last Sunday, posing as National Anthems I read (because I didn’t watch). The Star Spangled Banner and Lift up your voice and sing (I think that is the name).

The ratings are down, they are bleeding fans because of Covid and being Woke. Did they not look at the Olympics ratings and why people didn’t watch?

I have always worked with the famous, the rich and the empowered, something I’m not proud of, but it came with the territory of my career. They were always tedious, demanding and self-entitled. I was always glad to be done with them when the job was over. Their entourage’s were even worse, with no real reason other than they thought they were meaningful because of who they worked for.

The rabid fans will stay I suppose, except those with a mind and a conscience. The rest will get fed up and bail.

I have been a season ticket holder to a team that has won multiple Super Bowls and has many players in Canton. I can’t take the kneeling and the other crap that is dividing our country and has nothing to do with sports.

These are the best paid in the country for playing a kids game, yet they feel entitled to tell us what to do and how to think. It’s the same for hollywood and the celebtards. They need to realize that watching sports is for fun and to get away from all the political crap. Instead, they choose to cut their throats even further.

Those with a brain are finding something else to do.

They are being stupid and should just play the game.

Childhood Pranks, One That Just Happened and My College Effort (Plus a list of Double Entendre Names You Can Use)

Some kids pranked a school board in Virginia with oldies like Wayne Kerr (Wanker), Don Kideck (donkey dick) and so forth. It’s going around but here it is. This guy had no idea he was being used like toilet paper, classic.

Now my turn.

In one of my auditorium classes (that held 250) students, we had a test and then were having the lecture. Back then it was 35 mm slides. My cousin was taking a photography class and I had her make me a whole roll of nudes.

While people were turning in their tests, I had my friends block the view between the teacher and me. There were slots open starting at the 7th slide. We anxiously waited that slide and he kept teaching because the screen was behind him. It was a shot of Marilyn Monroe from Playboy to start out. He took it well.

This was in the Animal House days. By the time the movie came out, we’d already done everything in the movie except the horse. We weren’t on double secret probation because we never got caught. We also stole the right test and got A’s in the class.

Now, here are the names you can use that weren’t called out in the prank. Some below were used in the prank above.

It’s almost as good as Euphemisms for Stupid, one of my top 2 posts ever. Someone reads that every day from around the world still. Hats off to the Bob and Tom Show (Paging Richard Smoker) and SNL for these. The clips are out there somewhere still.

Seymour Butts

Dick Beater

Richard Smoker (big dick smoker)

Jack N Off

Harry Balls(ack) – 2 for 1 here

Harry Beaver

Peter Stroker

Mr. Baiter

Haywood U Blowme

BJ Hunter

Peter Wanker

Woody Spanker

Sharon Peter

Stu Pedaso

Iwana Wiener

haid d’salaami
hous bin pharteen

Ive bin pharteen

jenna t’alia


jack izdikov (off)


justin detoush


suq madiq


usuqa m’diq


i’lik madiq


liqa madiq


yuliqa m’diq


u’wana m’diq


munchma quchi (coochie)


grabbir boubi


i-sheet m’drurz


shaif herboush


mustaf herod apyur poupr (up your pooper)


awan afuqya


yul strokheet al-wautch


apul madeek-aou

t

And, who can make a list and not include:

Mike Hunt

One of the tech support guys called the receptionist and had her page Mike at least twice over the loudspeaker to an entire warehouse. It was childish, but then so am I and I laughed as loud as everyone.

Today’s Covid Humor, What I Did At Home

I’ve been content free, so enjoy the laugh and do the usual copy and post on your social media of choice.

The trikini and marriage stuff is funny. Some of the Covid stuff makes too much sense.

Some of it just makes you think.

Guy Stuff, Why We Aim When We Pee

If it can be aimed at, we give it a go. Piscuits are low hanging fruit. A moving bug is much more challenging. It also guarantee’s a mess, but we take the shot anyway. We also play peeing for distance and other childish games.

I’m sure girls think we are silly, but when a group of them were asked what they’d do if they had a dick, they said aim it when they piss. (guys said they’d feel their boobs if they had them and shoot milk at each other like a squirt gun, still a dick thing).

When there is a stain on the bowl, we won’t clean it if we can knock it off with a stream. Yes, we write whatever we can on the sidewalk and in the snow. The ones that say they don’t are lying, but a few do need their man card revoked. We don’t even have to be taught this trick. It’s instinctive to try it.

Why do we do it? Because we can. Sure, our equipment isn’t as pretty as females, but it is useful and a built in play toy. Why do you think we hold on to it so much?

Best of all, the whole world is our urinal if needed.

I even broke up with a girlfriend who got mad at me when I had to take a leak by the side of the road because she was worried what people would think of her. They wouldn’t ever look at her for laughing at me. I knew she wasn’t a keeper at that point. Every thing was a joke to me and she couldn’t take a joke. The woman I married knew how immature I can be and ignores it most of the time.

This Is Going To Put a Dent in The Nathan’s July 4th Hot Dog Eating Contest

Bet On Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest 2020 | Betting Odds ...

More specifically, researchers found that consuming one 85-gram serving of chicken wings translated to 3.3 minutes of life lost, owing to sodium and harmful trans fatty acids, while a beef hot dog on a bun resulted in some 36 minutes lost “largely due to the detrimental effect of processed meat,” study authors wrote.

Joey Chestnut is about dead. He knocked back 75 dogs this year to win the contest. He looks pretty healthy to me. Badlands Booker on the other hand better prepare his will.

The good news is that a PB&J sandwich adds 33 minutes to your life. I’m going to be about 3000 years old given that I’ve lived on it for 5 or more decades.

Ah, Men vs. Women, Here We Go Again – Humor Between the Sexes

I’ve posted a lot of stuff poking fun at both. Once, when partially serious I posted how and why we are different here.

When less serious about it, I posted how we see things differently, on how men and women see colors differently.

And now for today’s humor.

My, How Phone Booth’s Have Changed

I used to read the paper there. Now I read the phone. I still say I have to go read the sports page to be nice about dropping a deuce.

Don’t forget that if by chance you use the talking to another person feature on your phone, that you can be heard making bodily noises, or at least the echo that everyone recognizes.

I Need One Of These For Traffic Or Protestors

Owning one of these is the only time I’d want to live in Oregon, Washington (either one), California or New York. Let’s not forget that the same people have invaded Florida.

Actually, I should be banned from having one. I’d be in jail within minutes of buying it.

Star Trek, Life Imitates Art

It would be iconic to call him that over a 2 way radio. The jokes write themselves sometimes don’t they.

I’ve met William Shatner. He was an ok guy. I’m sure meeting people like me over and over is tedious, but he was good about it.

He still is my favorite Captain and there would be no Picard, Janeway, Sisko or others without the real Kirk.

Here we are, in Vegas of course.

Most shocking to me is that I was taller. I’m also a 3rd degree blackbelt so I could kick his ass no matter how many Romulans he’s killed.

This Is Me If I Were A Doctor

Oh, I’d write a lot of other stuff too. Imagine if an ex came in or a celebtard whining about their $20 million Disney contract? No telling what I’d write, but it would be good.

I know doctors pride themselves on straight lines when operating. They told me.

Just like the anti-matter a few posts below, there are some things I should be banned from doing. This would be close to the top of the list.

And You Think Your Job Sucks and No, I Couldn’t Keep a Straight Face

Not a chance I wouldn’t play with these and laugh my ass off. I’d also be reported to HR within minutes for some inappropriate joke. It would be worth it.

I wonder if these ladies take work home with them?

I Love Student’s Creative Answers In Biology Class and Boobs

I posted Hell explained by an engineering student that was so creative the teacher gave him a top score. I still laugh at that one (right Teresa?)?

Now, there is this one on Mother’s milk. It’s almost as creative and funny as the engineer.

The teacher has a sense of humor. I have no idea what number 7 really is, but the answer is good enough for me. I thought he was going to mention play toys at first.

Stuff Only Older Guys Will Recognize

I built a million of these things. It was cars, planes, engines and more cars. I got model glue on everything.

Actually, I’m surprised that my brain isn’t mush from all the glue. This was before people were sniffing it to get high.

Most of the fun is in the building, then you just look at them until you built another.

I learned more about how to build an engine and how things work than today’s mush heads, who are killing monsters or shooting anything that moves.

I now see that I was alone for hours when building these guys. It is a trait that I recognize for life and embrace.

Why Storm Troopers Can’t Shoot Strait Or Hit Anything – Men’s Edition

If you bother watching them in the movies, the are just target practice for the Rebels. These guys can’t hit a wall in front of them.

You kill one when you shoot a Storm Trooper, yet it’s ever only a wound when they shoot someone. Maybe they had vasectomies?

Anyway, this is me in the morning a lot of days. I think I’ve bulls eyed the bowl and I’ve pissed on who knows what.

Breaking: A New Update On Euphemisms for Stupid (Bonus For Introverts, What to Say Is Handed To You Here)

By far, my most popular posts are What’s it like to have a high IQ and this one, Euphemisms for Stupid. For a decade, this post was #1 worldwide in Google on how to call someone stupid.

More people have re-used content on this post around the world than some marketing campaigns by Facebook, and that is where a lot of it wound up it seemed (and I still have a happy life after I fired them).

To honor that post, I updated it today (there are almost a hundred creative ways to say someone fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down or that they couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel) with this one:

Enjoy, and if you want to find out a way to say someone is stupid that you’ve never heard of, go get you some at the link above.

Victoria’s Secret, A 2021 Tragedy

I’m like Jeff Foxworthy. I grew up getting the Sears catalog in the mail. Those were the only girls in underwear you would see, until Victoria’s Secret gave us the catalog of dreams.

They put beautiful women in underwear for men and women to admire. Good art in any form is beautiful (the Sears models reminded Jeff of the lunch lady at the school cafeteria). It’s why there are so many naked statues. It was the concept of art to an artist. That they lasted longer than a catalog has so far so that also says something.

Now this (here is the tragedy):

Here is the reaction so far:

Victoria’s Secret’s woke new look to please angry feminists is dubbed ‘Dumbest. Brand. Strategy. Ever.’

Victoria’s Secret has chosen going full woke over earning a profit, succumbing to the hypersensitivities on the left to embark on a major rebranding.

Even the standard size 32B mannequins on display in their stores didn’t make the cut, as the forms representing the female figure will now come in new shapes and sizes.

The paper said the company has been “scrutinized heavily in recent years for its owner’s relationship with the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein and revelations about a misogynistic corporate culture that trafficked in sexism, sizeism and ageism.”

OK, back to my observation.

I’m not sure what is more stupid. Is it the marketing decision to lose this much money, goodwill and customers or to think that most people wanted to look or what make it hugely successful. Do they think that this is more beautiful than Giselle Bünchen in angel wings?

I’m sure there is a small portion of the population who identifies with this and good for them. The problem is it is ruining the beauty that was the draw for the other 98%.

I know this type of display is inclusive or is progressive or something politically correct in the eyes of the PC and SJW police, but I (and see below or read the article above for how many others) still think they are ruining a good thing.

All of this has come together to ruin another concept that has been around since whenever man showed up, women are beautiful. Both males and females think that the fairer sex is a work of beauty. For example, everyone thinks a naked woman is something beautiful to look at. I’m willing to bet that there are a lot more people (even females in beards) that find them better to look at than most men naked. There aren’t that many Chip n Dales guys just walking around. And let’s face it. Other than a few people who can ruin anything by being mean and nasty, almost all women are beautiful in their own way.

If there are 330 million people in the US (a low guess) and throw out the old and the young, you would still have a few hundred million just in the USA who liked the older style catalog and their models a lot more. VS is big all over the world so even the PC people like to look at the real catalog, not the travesty that is this year’s.

I don’t care how many likes they got in social media. Most people go along with the crowd in public and social media is a bunch of pretend anyway.

Get woke go broke they say. I doubt it for VS, but it hasn’t helped the bottom lines of Nickelodeon Channel, Gillette, Coke, the NBA, MLB, NFL and other companies.

It looks like I’m not alone. I’ll put up some links that have something to do with it in whatever way that is interesting.

The Earl of Taint – I wish them luck

One of the Greatest Meme’s For A Guy

First, you have to know what brrrrttttt is. It is the sound the 30 MM cannon makes from an A-10. If you don’t know the sound or are female and want to know what the big deal is (read, how childish men can be at any age) it is very important to know the sound to actually get the meme.

It will help you understand your man though as this stuff goes through our heads, its only 37 seconds.

For those who know the sound and are a guy, enjoy and I hope you laugh. Get you some.

Hillbilly Sushi

I wonder if this is going to offend hillbillies? I wonder if that name is a cultural appropriation? What if it is a racist name?

Fear not, I have a strain in my family as southern as turnip greens.

I shake my head as I’m making fun of woke people using hotdogs, and yet I think there might be someone ready to lead a revolution to protect hillbillies now from discrimination. On second thought, nah.

Oh, and Happy Memorial Day.

Covid Does NOT Change The Men’s Rules For Urinals.

This is so wrong above. The rules are if there is more than two urinals, the second guy goes to the furthest one. You always look straight ahead, but if you have to, you can only look the other guy in the eye.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/DTySK0u2Ws4/maxresdefault.jpg

The second picture is how it is done. It just is.

Origin of the Platypus

It’s funny to me because I’m doing some research for an upcoming book that starts around this time.

Obviously, the wife is an extrovert or they wouldn’t have to get to know other couples, but then there would be no Platypus today.

Finally Signs Of Star Trek Technology Here On Earth

I have been a huge Star Trek fan since TOS. I’ve met some of the actors at conferences for work.

I went to the Star Trek Experience at the Vegas Hilton. It had all the props from all the series in timeline order. There were 3 ships hung above. One was the NCC-1701, there was either the Voyager or Excelsior and I think a Klingon Bird of Prey. No matter, the props were good enough.

I lived each episode as I went down the display case. The actual phasers, tri-corders, costumes and ample descriptions. It took me hours to get through.

Later, they added a Borg exhibit and you get to experience 4D assimilation.

I still have a Tribble at home.

If they would only give me a replicator I’d be in heaven. They probably shouldn’t give me a phaser because I couldn’t promise to keep it on stun for some people.

It Was Probably Me Who Did This

I’ve put socks in men’s pants (on a mannequin to make them look more manly.

Sock’s also look like #2 if they are brown. I’ve turned clothes around on displays and helped the hands move to places not unlike the picture.

I even waited around for the crowd approval as they walked by, not bothered by store security as they laughed.

Sometimes maturity is over-rated for laughs

Vegans Arguing, Is It a Beef?

I know someone who just went vegan and sure enough, I get to hear all about it. I don’t really care what anyone eats other than me so I’ll skip any vegan jokes here. You don’t have to tell everyone you see that you are vegan. We’ll see it soon enough anyway, or smell it.

I drew the line at asparagus for breakfast though. No, just no.

Lord And Lady Douchebag – When SNL Was Clever and Funny

It was the first time the word douchebag was used on TV.

This is where I admit to having the humor of a 12 year old, but this is still funny. The off hand remarks by Lord Salisbury (steak), Lord Remington (shave), the Earl of Sandwich and Parliament being full of douchebags for centuries.

On 4/20 day, this is going to be especially funny to someone.

What Is Wrong With Today’s Kids? What Did We Do Differently?

I’m not sure if we should blame the parents or the kids. These are time out kids, not fear of God ass whooping that kept us in line and for most of us kept us on the straight and narrow later in life.

I’m not for spanking kids here so save the hate. I am for proper discipline and letting kids grow up as kids without mind numbing drugs they give the boys.

There are a lot of comparisons and finger pointing that anyone can make here so I’ll delete the comments by jerks.

I rode in the back of a pickup in a lawn chair on the way to the beach because it was a 2 person truck with 3 people going. At 9 in the morning, someone ran up and handed me a beer to which all the nearby cars were honking in approval.

I made it to the beach safely and returned with a lot fewer IQ points due to the alcohol.

New Device Aids People To Remember Others Name Upon Meeting

I bet I forget names as quickly as you do. There are memory aids like associating a name with an object or another person to help you, but who remembers that when you are just trying to hear their name the first time?

I gave up trying to dance around the subject and just say I’m getting old or my hearing is going (both likely to be true) and ask them to tell me again. More often than not, they forgot my name also.

Most likely, I just move along and not really care. I find that being nice and waiting to see if they will really enter your life or is it just being cordial determines if I’m going to remember their name.

Either way, it’s a conversation starter, not something for Introverts so it won’t be me unless I just want to ignore everyone.

Proof That Nothing Is Possible, Also Where (not when) Nothing Is the Best Place for Guys

And Now for Guys, I present the Nothing Box. Girls, you should pay attention if you really want to understand men, even though you’ll never really get it.

Also Guys, understanding why women’s minds are so busy is also explained. It’s something we’ll never get.

What is so funny to me is that every time I try to explain it to a girl, she can’t understand it or wants to get into my nothing box. They never understand that if you got into my nothing box, it would be a different box (see at 8:15 where nothing is something). Watch and see: