Category: introverts

New Device Aids People To Remember Others Name Upon Meeting

I bet I forget names as quickly as you do. There are memory aids like associating a name with an object or another person to help you, but who remembers that when you are just trying to hear their name the first time?

I gave up trying to dance around the subject and just say I’m getting old or my hearing is going (both likely to be true) and ask them to tell me again. More often than not, they forgot my name also.

Most likely, I just move along and not really care. I find that being nice and waiting to see if they will really enter your life or is it just being cordial determines if I’m going to remember their name.

Either way, it’s a conversation starter, not something for Introverts so it won’t be me unless I just want to ignore everyone.

Mauerbauertraurigheit – Pulling Away From Groups or Others; An Introvert Issue That Others Should Respect

Here’s the definition.

Mauerbauertraurigkeit (n.) – the inexplicable urge to push people away.


This doozy of a word may add an extra dimension to our socially exhausted state. Mauerbauertraurigkeit means:
“The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like — as if all your social taste buds suddenly went numb, leaving you unable to distinguish cheap politeness from the taste of genuine affection, unable to recognize its rich and ambiguous flavors, its long and delicate maturation, or the simple fact that each tasting is double-blind.”

I’m not sure if this is a true psychological condition that is being taught or is proven like the Theory of General Relativity, but I know it is true.

Recently, it happened to me and I pulled out of some things I was doing. Partly it was Covid and partly it was Mauerbauertraurigkeit. There were different reasons, but remember I’m a patterns in life guy. I notice when it happens.

It’s happened to me all my life. I can’t stay with a group for much more than a couple of years. It depends on how obsessed I am with what I’m doing as to how much I’ll put up with before I have to go. I get socially and emotionally exhausted and my will just forced me away. It was if I was watching what was happening and couldn’t (and didn’t want to) stop it.

As it turns out, all the groups I left were for a good reason and were the right decisions in aftermath, but at the time I was mentally overwhelmed. The realization that I was free from the social obligations that kill me inside was blissfully comforting.

Normally, Covid would have been a problem as I wouldn’t have to go to groups I didn’t want to. Unfortunately, they invented Zoom and those of us who actually need body language to read people can’t.

Fortunately, I live a whole different life in my head as do most Introverts so I go there many times during Zoom. If I’m on mute, I probably muted not thinking about what was on the call.

I will say this, most extroverts are not polite about this and want to include you on all of their tedious activities, and want to know why you don’t want to do everything with everybody. They literally force me away because they want to be all up into my stuff. I suffered at work from this until I found ways to get out of social activities.

The answer and I guess the moral is when I’ve had enough, either for the day or for life, I have to get away and I can’t help it. I leave and never come back usually.

I can’t be alone on this. A lot of people are overwhelmed socially, by extroverts.

I imagine some people think they were ghosted, when in fact the person couldn’t help themself from pulling away.

I’ve never felt better about myself than when I leave, any of them at any point of my life. I don’t think that I’m missed and don’t really care if they think I’m anti-social. As long as I’m not a part of them anymore is all that matters.

Proof That Nothing Is Possible, Also Where (not when) Nothing Is the Best Place for Guys

And Now for Guys, I present the Nothing Box. Girls, you should pay attention if you really want to understand men, even though you’ll never really get it.

Also Guys, understanding why women’s minds are so busy is also explained. It’s something we’ll never get.

What is so funny to me is that every time I try to explain it to a girl, she can’t understand it or wants to get into my nothing box. They never understand that if you got into my nothing box, it would be a different box (see at 8:15 where nothing is something). Watch and see:

Introvert Covid/China Virus Update

75 Introvert Memes - "Corporate needs you to find the difference between this picture (regular day's routine) and this picture (quarantine day's routine). Introverts: They're the same picture."

First of all, don’t get bent that I put China virus in the title. I’m testing big brother to see if they’ll censor me or not. Yes, I’m pushing the limits because, well because.

Back to the meme, it hasn’t changed much for me, other than having more people in the house. Being alone is where I find myself headed by nature. I have to remember to be social to the others because I can get so into my own world that the outside exists, but is no where near as fun or anything but a distraction.

On Being Alone, Be A Rebel About It – Introvert Stuff

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do stuff with others. I like them, but my ability to want to hang with people grows shorter every day.

Just leave me alone. I promise I’ll leave you alone.

If I want to talk, I promise you’ll know. If I want to know something from you, I’ll ask.

I enjoy being alone more than with crowds. I’ve had a lifetime full of that and have never felt the need to be a part of one. That includes standing in lines for something (like Disney) or wanting to be accepted in someone’s social circle (that has stupid clique rules).

A year or so ago, I opted out of a neighborhood birthday party because I couldn’t go home early or take another car. I drove for 3.5 hours to a vacation home while they thought I was getting the house fixed. I knew it wasn’t going to happen that trip, but that’s how far I’ll go to not have to go to a social event where I know no one.

No one missed me and I didn’t have to go. I enjoyed my days off and we all were happy.

FWIW, my name is John, and I don’t give a fuck.

Why/When to Never Miss An Opportunity To Shut Up – On What To Do During Small Talk

“The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing.” – Henry S. Haskins

Actually, this is a daily double because Mark Twain quoted the title. I can’t count the times in my life that I wish I hadn’t said what came out.

This will serve you well in negotiations. At the time to close the sale, any sales person will tell you the first person to talk loses. The sale could be a business plan, a product or yourself to a company or a promotion.

This is the most obvious thing possible for introverts. As others drone on in mindless small talk, they have already begun a new adventure in their minds. Yes, they nod and perhaps might give a monosyllabic answer to the conversation but it is likely they left a while ago.

It is a matter of politeness, not what the other person is doing by talking too much and too long. Note: it is not being mean, it is how minds work. It happens unintentionally. It is why one should take this saying to heart. Read the last sentence.

Of course introverts will talk endlessly on a deep subject or something of importance, when we find someone who cares. The difference is that when others are nodding or giving one word answers, the conversation is over because we can read body language better than most.

The biggest benefit of not always talking is you never have to take back something you said.

Others won’t avoid you if you read their signals and stop talking. I’ve seen it too many times at work, at school and in social outings.

This eventually includes everyone, not just the introverts.

Kurt Vonnegut On How To See Undreamed of Things First

“Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.  Big, undreamed-of things — the people on the edge see them first.”

I love being out on the edge. I love to think deeply and talk to deep thinkers. I’ve seen trends exactly by doing this. It can serve you well to take yourself out of the center of your life and watch what is going on from the bleachers. You can see the whole game that is called life a lot clearer.

Of course Introverts have an advantage here because of observation skills.

This One Is For Introverts

I know some introverts. They have a lot to say and are very deep people. The problem is that the others talk over them a lot of the time. I watch the introverts just shut down at that point and a great story or deep conversation stops.

If you know someone like this, give them a chance. You might be surprised to find a loyal and interesting friend.

Monday Saying – When To Shut Up

I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm. – Calvin Coolidge

I heard another version that went never miss a good opportunity to shut up.

I liked how Coolidge spoke after he thought. That way, he didn’t have to say that much and got right to the point. Others knew he wasn’t going to waste their time with BS so when he talked, they listened.

Still, most of you, cut the crap and the small talk. It’s a waste of time and is annoying.

Monday Saying – Why You Should Be Brave Enough To Say Yes or No (bonus for Introverts)

“In truth, the degree of anyone’s success depends on how often they can say the word yes and hear the word no.” – unknown.

 

Many are afraid of what others will think if they divert from their principles and don’t give the real answer.  It would save both parties a lot of time and angst if you would just be honest.

For Introverts, this is the best conversation.  It cuts through the BS small talk about why you can or can’t do something and gives the appropriate answer.  You’ll be respected for getting to the point quickly and will feel better about yourself for being honest.

Some, albeit a few might get their feelings hurt, but it will pass once they see you have done the right thing.  Many will appreciate that you gave them a straight answer, even if it isn’t dressed up and decorated with flowers and bows before you dance around your answer.

Say it, Yes or No.  Then move on to a deeper conversation.

Great Sayings – Why Meetings Suck

“Meetings are indispensable when you don’t want to do anything.”

– John Kenneth Galbraith

We’ve now found out during Covid that in person meetings are not necessary.  Actually, most of us knew that from sitting in them and wishing we were dead or anything to not be there.

I do know a few people that love meetings and live for them.  I think they don’t want to work, or it’s the place they think they can actually wield power.  I avoid those people so I don’t have to go to their meetings.

I’ve written before why Meetings are a waste of time, and how to avoid them.

As an introvert, I loathe meetings.  My rule was that if there were anymore than 5 people nothing was going to get done.

Avoid them at all cost.  They are a time suck and we’ve now proven that you can get work done without them

 

Things You Realize When You Get Older

I found this and agree with most of it.  It was written by an introvert if you couldn’t tell by the first bullet.

I used the last bullet when raising kids.  It kept them (mostly) out of trouble that a lot of my friends had to go through.

A lot of it really refers to personal responsibility for your actions and outcomes.  I wish more people were doing that right now instead of blaming others for their problems or as an excuse to act improperly

  • Books are your best friends.
  • Looks do not reflect character.
  • It is not necessary to impress people.
  • It is OK to be single.
  • Nothing happens by chance, everything happens by choice.
  • Crying does not mean you are weak.
  • Apologies can be accepted, but after that trust is usually denied.
  • People treat you according to their need.
  • You usually treat people like they treat you.
  • If we believe life is a blessing, it becomes one.
  • You are responsible for your own happiness.
  • Being reason behind someone’s smile is utter bliss.
  • Taking responsibility of your own life is the only way to create the life you desire.
  • There is no excuse for binge drinking. The consequences may be serious.

Great Sayings – Jimmy Buffet on Past Relationships and Introverts

If the phone doesn’t ring, it’s me.

 

Good songwriters are clever with words.  This song is really about how you can’t re-live the past, but it’s also about introverts.

First, if the past was so good, why did you break up?  You can never go back because it won’t be the same.  Just try to remember the good times.  You’ll have others in the future, just different.

Next, there are many times I don’t call, text or start a conversation.  It’s not because I don’t want to or don’t have something to say, I just don’t want to get stuck in a small talk situation that is meaningless.  It doesn’t devalue my feelings on our relationship/friendship/acquaintanceship that we have, I just would rather talk if we really have something to say.  It is the life of introverts.

People don’t realize it, but introverts tell better stories.  There is way less going off the path and including unnecessary details and the timing of the punch line or the moral of the story is far more effective.

I doubt anyone thinks about me or other introverts not calling, but if the phone doesn’t ring, it’s me.

I always changed the saying at the bottom of my work email.  Some of them are ones that I have posted recently.  This was the last one I had when I retired from IBM.

 

 

Great Sayings – On Intellect and Sociability

A high degree of intellect tends to make a man unsocial.

-Arthur Schopenhauer
I knew there was a reason I want to talk less and less.  My tolerance for small talk decreases everyday.  I thought it was just a function of being an introvert.
Now that I ponder the intellect of those I interact with, this clears up a lot of things.
I am not trying to be anti-social, but my ability to put up with doing stuff I don’t want to do is a cost/benefit ratio.  The costs often outweigh the benefits so I find that keeping to myself has made my life a lot better.

Covid-19 Benefits For Some of Us

No one would wish what happened to us with the China/Wuhan/Covid-19/Kung flu/Corona virus this year.  I wonder if there is any silver lining?

WE’VE LEARNED THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE IN PERSON AT WORK

First, the essential workers should be commended.  Those putting their life at risk for the rest of us or to keep us able to stay away but help keep the economy going do need to be there.  They don’t get thanked enough and deserve more accolades than they are getting.  I can’t list them all, but you know who you are as do we, especially when we go out or are in need and you are there.

There are a group of desk jockeys that can work from anywhere, including home, the coffee shop or anywhere that has WIFI.  Many companies are still getting along just fine without everyone in their cubicles or open office space being babysat by next level of ladder climbers and wannabees.

Yes, some of them are goofing off, but they goof off at the office also.  They self-sort themselves out of their jobs after a while anyway.  The other workers know who is carrying their load and who is carrying a load of bullshit without them being there.

We have been forced into a higher level of trust to get the job done.  I’ve worked for some who didn’t trust their employees if they weren’t at their desk.  If you treat people like grownups they will be.  If you treat them poorly or like monkeys, like managers I’ve had they will eat bananas.

Now, those who want to work at home or remotely had the chance to prove that they could get the job done and don’t have to go into an office to do the same thing.

For introverts, this is a blessing.  They don’t have to be sentenced to the jail of in person meetings or having to have their day ruined by HR regimented nonsense that can be done in non-critical hours.

PRODUCTIVITY

This is a unique time to get more work done, or to refine our work habits.  See above about goofing off in the office and you have now eliminated water cooler BS sessions, meaningless meetings that can be done on email or chat and time to actually concentrate.

I know those in sales have to talk, but if they concentrate more on selling, they too will be more productive.  A lot of them are too chatty anyway.

The USA works more than other countries and it appears that we like to work.  You can tell by how much we’ve achieved, but also the lack of vacation we take vs. other countries.  Hey, but how many countries have landed a man on the moon?

We have the opportunity to open up (re-open up) and unleash the greatest economy and workforce that has ever existed.  There are people dying to get back to work that may be furloughed.  I only hope the politicians haven’t put onerous rules in place that hurts the economy and the ability for small businesses to thrive.

TRAVEL

You can now go anywhere you need to if you want.  I imagine that travel will be light at first, although some with pent up demand or anxiety will leave as soon as it is allowed.  The downside will be the TSA security check lines if we have to stay 6 feet apart.  The line will be out of the building and into long term parking.

I read that the bookings for Cruise ships are in high demand, something I just don’t understand.  Cruise ships are petri dishes for viruses and have been for a long time.  Why you would want to be in basically a jail cell that travels with limited escape time to buy a T-shirt doesn’t seem desirable, but I have friends who love it.  They mostly like to eat though and say it’s a cheap way to travel.  At least they won’t be on planes for those of us who want to get where we are going and then actually see the country/place we are visiting.

You won’t have to worry about getting stuck in the middle seat for a while on an airplane.  That is the designated social distancing seat, like it’s going to matter when you are in a tube for hours and well within the reach of a cough or a sneeze.  I love this one as the airlines have made travel less enjoyable year over year.  The armrest fight for position will be solved for now.

I imagine there will be a lot of deals at first.  Travel costs should be down as well as tourist traps will have good prices to make up for the time we’ve spent in our quarantine jail.  Get ’em while you can.  There will be less tourists everywhere you go and businesses dying to offer deals to make up for the faux shut down.

BE POSITIVE

One can look at the downside and think that the world is going to end and that we might die from Covid-19.  The statistics say that it is mostly in a few concentrated places (NE corridor and elderly care facilities) and affects those with a co-morbidity.  The odds are in our favor that we won’t get it or that it won’t be as bad as the media is trying to shove down our throats.

When this passes (hint: watch how soon it passes after the November election is over regardless of who wins) the opportunities to better your life and enjoy some things in the work/life balance that have been either ruined or complicated for us.

 

 

 

Great Sayings – Arthur Schopenhauer on Being Alone (Covid-19)

We have been in quarantine for a while now.  Most are dying to get back to their life of being busy.  I’ve observed that those who want to get out the most are the ones who are trying to escape from themselves.  It is a time of introspection.  If it weren’t an election year, it probably would have been lifted in a lot of places by now.

The extroverts have to talk to others.  The introverts don’t mind being alone, but are bothered when they are quarantined with an extrovert that makes their life miserable thinking that they have to talk all the time.  They can’t wait for it to be lifted so that they can be home alone again.

Those of us who are truly comfortable with ourselves can enjoy the solitude without distress.  The needy are those who have to have others as a salve for their issues.  It is a good time to learn to deal with your issues.  That is when you are finally free.

 

Great Sayings – Things I’d Wished I’d Thought of After the Fact

L’esprit de L’escalier – things you wish you could have said after you leave an argument.

 

That’s me.  I win all my arguments, unfortunately many of them the day after they take place.  My response is usually spectacular.  I just wish I’d thought of it at the time.

In Honor of My 600th Post, Here Is My To Do List

WordPress says this is my 600th post, but I know I lost the year 2007 when I switched from Blogger to WordPress because I avoid Google whenever possible.  I likely passed it a while back, but they are gone forever now.

I post a lot about IQ, intelligence, Introverts, tech and a lot of subjects that would provide a platform to post something meaningful, deep in meaning , intelligent, well thought out and well written.  As they say, the road to hell….

In that spirit, I give you a to do list that is sarcastic, funny to me and given the mood I’m in as I write this and very appropriate especially since my last name is Simonds (see number 8).

Are High IQ People Better Off With Fewer Friends?

So says an article published by the Washington Post.

Having discussed high IQ people including those with a perceived higher intelligence a number of times (this one with the highest Google ranking), I like to ponder on these things.

The first in this article tends to reference dwelling among all people as it relates to happiness:

They use what they call “the savanna theory of happiness” to explain two main findings from an analysis of a large national survey (15,000 respondents) of adults aged 18 to 28.

First, they find that people who live in more densely populated areas tend to report less satisfaction with their life overall. “The higher the population density of the immediate environment, the less happy” the survey respondents said they were. Second, they find that the more social interactions with close friends a person has, the greater their self-reported happiness.

Why would high population density cause a person to be less happy? There’s a whole body of sociological research addressing this question. But for the most visceral demonstration of the effect, simply take a 45-minute ride on a crowded rush-hour Red Line train and tell me how you feel afterward.

One would tend to think that if you weren’t in such a densely populated area, that it might lead to greater happiness.  No wonder New York, Chicago and other highly populated cities have such low rankings in this category.

THE NEED TO BE ALONE

I can’t prove it, but there is a tendency for “Smart People” to be either introverted or have a need to spend time alone to gather their thoughts when making contributions to inventions, theorem’s, calculations and other notable achievements. (Note: the link above describes things introverts won’t tell you, but you should know).

Being an author, I know that I prefer quiet to gather my thoughts and increase the powers of concentration on what I am trying to write.  It’s hard to clear your mind when there is a bombardment of distractions either from people, social media or other causes.

The article does state the obvious, long commutes, traffic, waiting in line and crowds are tedious, monotonous, and can grate on anyone over time. The infrastructure is usually older (see the lead in the water in Flint, Mich.)  I’ve often wondered why anyone would want to live in a place like that if they really had a choice.  Maybe that is why there is such a large population outflow to Florida upon retirement.

Kanazawa and Li’s second finding is a little more interesting. It’s no surprise that friend and family connections are generally seen as a foundational component of happiness and well-being. But why would this relationship get turned on its head for really smart people?

I posed this question to Carol Graham, a Brookings Institution researcher who studies the economics of happiness. “The findings in here suggest (and it is no surprise) that those with more intelligence and the capacity to use it … are less likely to spend so much time socializing because they are focused on some other longer term objective,” she said.

Think of the really smart people you know. They may include a doctor trying to cure cancer or a writer working on the great American novel or a human rights lawyer working to protect the most vulnerable people in society. To the extent that frequent social interaction detracts from the pursuit of these goals, it may negatively affect their overall satisfaction with life.

The article and researchers discuss a “Savannah theory of happiness” which is a bit of a reach since there weren’t iPhones for cavemen, although an ability to deal with new challenges seems obvious.

FEAR OF MISSING OUT OF SOMETHING FOR SOME, LOATHING PEOPLE FOR OTHERS

There is a need for many in the general population to gain happiness from their social interactions.  I have relatives who suffer from FoMo syndrome, generally indicating that they derive their happiness and/or satisfaction from others or the perception of others.

When drilling down and specifically targeting high IQ people, there is a distinct difference from the last sentence in the above quote:

Second, they find that the more social interactions with close friends a person has, the greater their self-reported happiness.

But there was one big exception. For more intelligent people, these correlations were diminished or even reversed.

“The effect of population density on life satisfaction was therefore more than twice as large for low-IQ individuals than for high-IQ individuals,” they found. And “more intelligent individuals were actually less satisfied with life if they socialized with their friends more frequently.”

Let me repeat that last one: When smart people spend more time with their friends, it makes them less happy.

Again, an observation from the high IQ group and personal introspection, there seems to be less of a need to find your happiness in others or what others think of you in this space.  It might be in the above stated pursuit of goals:

Hell might actually be other people — at least if you’re really smart.

That’s the implication of fascinating new research published last month in the British Journal of Psychology. Evolutionary psychologists Satoshi Kanazawa of the London School of Economics and Norman Li of Singapore Management University dig in to the question of what makes a life well-lived. While traditionally the domain of priests, philosophers and novelists, in recent years survey researchers, economists, biologists and scientists have been tackling that question.

There’s a twist, though, at least as Kanazawa and Li see it. Smarter people may be better equipped to deal with the new (at least from an evolutionary perspective) challenges present-day life throws at us. “More intelligent individuals, who possess higher levels of general intelligence and thus greater ability to solve evolutionarily novel problems, may face less difficulty in comprehending and dealing with evolutionarily novel entities and situations,” they write.

It appears that the high IQ might actually have another less socially accepted skill that is less politically correct as defined by the masses.  They may just have thought out that they are able to be happier or more satisfied while being alone rather than by having to try and satisfy others definition of their happiness.

Conversely, they might find being around other people annoying, especially the chatty or needy.

Once you are able to happy alone, the ability to be happy with others is icing on the cake, but shouldn’t be the definition of the cake.

 

15 Things That #Introverts Would Never Tell You, But You Should Know

me opening up to someoneI read this article and could hardly believe it.  It was me.  I’ll editorialize between the lines based on past and current experiences, but people should realize that people are different and here is one group that is virtually unnoticed but should be understood.

The link is now broken, but here is the annotated article:

  • Introverts catch a lot of shit for being introverted. The whole world seems

    so enamored by extroverts – the people we know who just want

    to be around people all the time. While we  introverts might

    not want that, it doesn’t mean we’re depressed or

    suicidal or anything wacky like that. There are

    some things you should know about us.

    1. Small talk sucks.

    We’re just not very good at it. We’re typically the big-thinking types.

    We like big ideas and theories. Small talk is uncomfortable.

    We don’t care about the weather or how

    your cat has been doing.

    It is very annoying because it mostly is useless to us. 

    If you need to share so badly,

    check with an extrovert who can’t wait to share back. 

    You just won’t get good

    feedback from us.

    2. Being alone is fine.

    Seriously, we’re doing okay, even if we hole up in our houses for a while.

    We don’t need other people for stimulation. We find that ourselves.

    We’d almost always rather be alone.  We don’t want to be hermits,

    but we are good at keeping ourselves busy and this is

    our comfort zone for life. 

    We don’t have to be with a crowd to do something,

    although we might come

    along once in a while.

    3. We aren’t rude or uptight.

    We might seem like that at first, but get to know us. We’re still a fun bunch

    of friends, we just don’t always acclimate to unfamiliar settings and people

    so quickly.

    Mostly because you are loud and want to be the center of attention,

    something we can’t relate to.  When we find out who you really are

    behind the facade, it’s easy to get to know us, unless you are phony.

    4. Sometimes, we swing both ways.

    We might be introverts, but sometimes we are just so the life of the

    party. We do this willingly when we’re up to it, but we can’t always

    keep that kind of energy going. If we throw a party, great! But give

    us some time to recover.

    Recover is the key word.  We can be with or in a crowd, but afterwords,

    we need time alone.

    5. We have friends. And they like us! Probably.

    People hear the word ‘introvert’ and think of the goth kid sitting alone

    at the food court. That’s a whole different thing entirely. We love having

    friends, and our friends love having us! We put in a conscious effort for

    people we think are worth it.

    We see through those who are not worth it and move on as those who

    have a constant self centered need for attention aren’t real people,

    and likely are far more insecure than we are.

    6. When with the right people, we feel safe.

    Having the right people in our lives is amazing. we really give our

    best selves to the best people. We shine in the right company.

    But sometimes it takes a while to find those people.

    7. We like to write things out.

    Writing is easier than talking for us sometimes. Email is the best

    because it helps us get the thoughts out of our heads without

    being interrupted. Thinking about giving us a call? Try a text or email instead.

    8. We’re super productive.

    Sometimes at least. Usually in our alone time, we’re able to really

    rock and roll on projects that we need to finish. The solitude helps us,

    as we tend to be a bit more distractible than most.

    Especially when you constantly talk about nothing just to talk.  At work,

    the people who have to comment on everything are the worst as

    it usually isn’t productive.  See small talk.

    9. If we don’t like you, you won’t know it.

    It’s the truth of the matter. We hate conflict. So even if we don’t like you,

    we’ll still be nice. It’s a lot easier than being real with you. Especially if

    your feelings are inconsequential enough that confronting you on your

    bullshit isn’t even worth the time. Sorry. Well, not sorry.

    And we move along without you as you just aren’t worth it.

    10. Networking events suck.

    Seriously. Is there a mailing list we need to opt out of? There are few

    things more uncomfortable than a networking party. Except maybe a

    dentist’s networking party that we’ve just been accidentally invited to.

    Yes, so why do extroverts keep trying to drag us into this nightmare?

    11. We don’t like crowds.

    Though I find that after a few beers, I can tolerate it. Introverts tend to

    get overstimulated easily, so big crowds are tough to deal with.

    It’s just not worth it.  Those who have MOP (miss out phobia)

    have to be with the crowd, not us.  See number 2.

    12. Sorry, we probably weren’t listening to your story.

    We care deeply about our friends, but people outside of that

    circle will have a tough time maintaining our attention. It’s not

    that we have ADD or anything like that, we just don’t really

    care about you. On the plus side, we won’t judge you, so feel

    free to tell us all the fucked up things you said to your ex.

    People will tell me anything and everything because

    I won’t repeat it.  But usually won’t remember it either.

    13. Don’t make a fuss out of our birthdays.

    For the longest time, I had a great deal of difficulty

    understanding why I hated my birthday so much.

    Everyone I ever knew would come out and party

    with me! But then I realized: that’s the problem!

    We don’t need to make a fuss out of our birthdays,

    so please don’t do it to us.

    Or any holiday for that matter.  It’s just another day.

    14. We don’t want to make a fuss out of your birthday.

    We can quietly honor the annual birthday, right?

    It’s your day.  You have everyone else making a big deal about it. 

    Let them.

    15. If we’ve chosen to be friends with you, appreciate it.

    We value our alone time. If we see you often, it means that we

    really love you. Just don’t get too bummed out when we

    don’t hang for a week at a time sometimes.

    We’ll likely be the most reliable friend you have, the one

    you can call on when your loud friends let you down.

    But visitors are like fish, they smell after 3 days.

    Hat tip to Higher Perspective.

    What they might not tell you but you need to know is that they are good for your business.

    Here are 15 other things that people misunderstand about introverts and pre-judge them because of it…

     

  • Bonus: How to date and introvert, by an introvert.