“You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.” – Sacha Guitry

I can’t tell you how many arguments I’ve won in the shower, 3 hours after they took place. Sometimes, 3 days after the event took place, I think of the wittiest comeback possible, but the world moved on 2 days, 23 hours and 59 minutes ago.

I can however be the most serious person you will know and mean it. I also don’t have to pretend to be loyal, considerate and other traits that may be inborn or taught by my parents. That comes as naturally as breathing. If I’m not, the other person did something to cause me to treat them like they treat me.

Some however, like a relative I have that has both wit and a sharp tongue at their disposal. It is frustrating for people like me. I know I have something correct and salient and even when history proves it, the moment is over and I’m left frustrated by (lack of) words.

The only time I have a comeback is when I’ve already prepared for the onslaught. If it is spontaneous, then so is my conversation skills bonfire of destruction.

I’ve written out responses just to be able to be ready. It occasionally works, but only if the stars align.

Some wonder why Introverts are quiet. Besides the fact that we are mostly listening, we don’t want to die in a verbal dual where we stand no chance to those who start talking fast and first.

I’m learning to say stop before they get a roll going and I get flattened.