Tag: self help

Survival basics: 5 Dangerous locations to avoid during an EMP attack

  • Electromagnetic pulse (EMP) attacks are a growing concern for preppers, alongside other emergencies. Places to avoid include cities, which rely heavily on technology and infrastructure, making them highly susceptible to EMP attacks.
  • Roads and highways are dangerous because modern vehicles dependent on electronics will fail, leaving drivers stranded.
  • Hospitals give the illusion of safety, but they rely on electronic equipment and limited backup power, making them vulnerable to EMP attacks.
  • Boats and ships should be avoided because modern vessels depend on electronics for navigation, communication and propulsion.
  • Air travel is also dangerous because modern aircraft rely on electronics for flight control, navigation and communication. In the face of an EMP attack, preparation and awareness are crucial. By understanding the worst places to be and taking proactive steps to protect yourself, you can increase your chances of survival in a post-EMP world.

Many preppers getting ready for possible threats like natural disasters, economic downturns and other emergencies are also worried about the threat of an electromagnetic pulse (EMP) attack. This silent, invisible menace could unravel modern society in an instant.

Unlike storms or economic collapses, an EMP strike is a high-impact event that can cripple electronics, fry infrastructure and leave cities and towns in chaos.

While you may have stockpiled food and reinforced your shelter, are you aware of the worst places to be when an EMP hits? Below are danger zones that you should avoid, along with essential survival tips. 

more here

How to Set Boundaries as an Introvert and Still Be Kind

Boundaries are not walls or dividers. They are a personal list of what is and isn’t okay for you as an introvert.

As a counselor, I see many introverts come to my office struggling to set healthy boundaries. This doesn’t mean they’ve failed in some way because, let’s be honest, most of us have never been taught how to do this — and it’s not easy. I often help by showing them a few simple strategies.

To be clear, both introverts and extroverts can struggle with setting boundaries, so it’s certainly not just an introvert issue. Yet, in my experience, they struggle for different reasons. There are typically two main roadblocks for us “quiet ones”:

Many introverts — especially highly sensitive ones — are naturally inclined to take care of others due to their strong sense of empathy. For more on this, see my article The Science Behind Why We Absorb Others’ Emotions (and How to Deal).

Introverts, many of whom are compassionate and eager to help, often see boundaries as walls rather than healthy limits.

Over the course of our sessions, I help my introverted clients understand that boundaries aren’t barriers or dividers. They are guidelines, rules, or limits that define reasonable, safe, and mentally healthy ways for others to treat them — and how they will respond when those limits are crossed.

Simply put, personal boundaries are a list of what is and isn’t okay.

Again, to be very clear, not every introvert struggles with setting boundaries. But in general, because of their empathy, introspection, and compassion, some introverts tend to see boundaries as obstacles to relationships. They may view saying no as unkind, and setting boundaries may even feel wrong.

In reality, boundaries are the foundation of an empathetic, compassionate relationship. As Brené Brown writes in Rising Strong, “Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.”

A Case Example: My Introverted Client

Sometimes, introverts come to me feeling upset or frustrated about a friend or loved one who isn’t meeting their expectations. One young woman, an introvert, was desperately trying to help her depressed friend. She repeatedly came to me with feelings of resentment and anger, saying, “No matter what I do, she isn’t getting better.”

This woman was so empathetic that she was pouring everything she had into trying to pull her friend out of depression. When we looked deeper, we realized she had an unspoken expectation — that her friend would get better because of her efforts. She believed she could heal her friend, and when that didn’t happen, she took it as a personal failure.

Instead of setting boundaries about when she would offer support and when she needed to take time for herself, she kept investing more energy, time, and effort into making her friend meet an expectation that wasn’t hers to control.

The more we talked, the more she realized that this wasn’t true empathy or compassion — it was actually harmful to both of them.

The Life-Changing Power of Setting Boundaries

Brené Brown captures it beautifully in The Gifts of Imperfection: “When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.”

My client began setting boundaries with her friend. She still offered support with kindness, but she no longer felt responsible for fixing the problem. She allowed herself to take breaks, spend time with other friends, and prioritize her own well-being. As a result, she became more present and compassionate with her struggling friend, and her own stress significantly decreased.

This is the life-changing power of setting boundaries.

3 Steps to Better Boundaries

Do you struggle to set healthy boundaries? Here are three key steps I share with my clients that can help you, too:

1. Decide what is okay and what isn’t in your life.

Start by reflecting on your values. Who are you? What matters most to you? Your boundaries are about you, so take the time to identify what you truly need from others. For example, as an introvert, you likely value alone time — your boundaries should reflect that.

Pay attention to your emotions, as they often signal where boundaries are needed. Do certain situations leave you feeling frustrated or resentful? Is there someone you frequently complain about? Do you feel suffocated, taken advantage of, or even unsafe in a particular relationship? Emotions are like warning flags, waving to get your attention and reveal areas in your life that may need stronger boundaries.

2. Communicate your boundaries.

For introverts, who often prioritize their inner world over external interactions, expressing boundaries can feel daunting —especially if it’s your first time. Here are some tips to help:

  • Keep it short and simple. Boundaries sound like this: “If you… (for example, don’t pay rent on time again), then I… (for example, will ask you to move out).”
  • Expect some discomfort. When you start setting boundaries, you may feel ashamed or afraid. Don’t lose heart — these feelings are normal! Keep going.
  • Trust your timing. You will set boundaries when you are ready, and not a minute sooner.
  • You are allowed to say no. For example, “Don’t vent your anger on me — I won’t tolerate it,” or “I won’t let you disrespect me. If you cannot treat me with respect, then stay away.” If someone continues to disregard your boundaries, you have every right to limit or cut off contact.
  • Your privacy is yours to control. Nobody can demand to know your thoughts or personal business. What you choose to share is up to you, not what others expect or want.
  • You have the right to your own mind. Nobody has the right to dictate what you think, feel, or do. Your thoughts, feelings, values, and beliefs belong to you.

source

If I’d only learned this earlier in life, it would have made a big difference. I just didn’t know how important this was

What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.

What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.

What do you do during the day? It seems innocuous, but here’s why it isn’t for me. (the real answer is that I mind my own damn business and get done what needs doing).

I retired early and being a good introvert, I stay to myself, don’t bother others (especially with personal questions). I do normal introvert things like read and write a lot. I go about my business, get exercise usually for hours, do house repairs, help others, go to bible studies or other events, etc.

The point is that I don’t keep detailed records of what I do. I go about my business and try to stay out of other people’s business.

This question started with a relative I nicknamed Flounder from Animal House, for all the reasons Dean Wormer described about how not to go through life. Flounder went between high paying jobs to bankruptcy due to money mismanagement (spent like a drunken sailor). We’ve never been particularly close because we are so different and shit like this makes me not want to try very hard.

It should be noted that if I give someone a nickname in life, it’s not a good sign of how I feel about them.

Every conversation was, “What do you do all day, sweep the floors?” In fact, it was one of the things I did because I like a clean house. It was a shitty question though and it became monotonos. I’d just rather not have a conversation than discuss that. I finally turned it on him by saying most people ask me that because they wonder what they’ll be doing when they retire. He had no real answer as he defined himself by his job his wife told me.

Nevertheless, the condescending attitude was not even masked. I, the consummate introvert couldn’t defend the question on cue. I’d think of what I wrote above in the hours after the discussion when it didn’t matter.

Still, I hate the idea of anyone 1) intruding on my life and what I do unless I choose to talk about it and 2) getting this condescending attitude because I was able to retire early and it was a part of my life plan. (note: I saved, invested, and paid off all of my debt early to be able to do it. Flounder was in debt above his head and lost millions on houses and valuables he borrowed to get. He had to work until almost 70 and thought he was a big shot until his next firing.

Now, I’m still retired and set for the rest of my days. Flounder lives with one of his kids as he lost both of his houses. Do I ask what do you do all day? Hell no. I don’t want to know what he does, but it’s an intruding question.

Note: I got this question from one of my wife’s friends Randi when I said I was going to retire early. What are you going to do was the very next statement. I answered and got, and then what are you going to do.

Randi isn’t a part of our life anymore because of her shitty attitude. I couldn’t stand to be around her either. She was snarky when saying it and those things don’t get past me easily.

Hey Randi, I’m retired early and am loving life, doing what I want. That’s what I do all day. I go about my business.

This ends with the story about the kid eating all of his candy. A man said that isn’t good for you to which the kid said my uncle lived to be 120. The man asked if it was eating so much candy and the boy responded no, it was because he minded his own business.

Which Activities Make You Lose Track Of Time?

Which activities make you lose track of time?

Writing. Note, I want to hear from my reader nicknamed bocopro who has great comments every time. It turns out that he’s a better writer than me and his stuff is funny to read. He has a lifetime of experience to draw upon and I like hearing from the readers.

While I do a lot of physical activities, I’m able to stay in the present about what is going on around me or in life. When I start writing, especially in a personal journal where I pour out my heart on my feelings or memories, I can get lost for a long time.

Occasionally, if I go back to read those words, I can relive that time of the actual occurrence and the time when I wrote it. I feel those feelings deeply and once in a while I am proud of what I wrote.

Not Being Able To Come Back In Time With A Retort: The Story Of My Life – Introvert Troubles

I win almost every argument, hours after it happened. Most people I know can come back with a line that cuts you off at the knees and I can’t think of mine. I’ve given up on the childish retorts and name calling.

It’s always clear to me after the fact what I should have said, and more often than not, I was right, just not in time.

It was the same on the schoolyard. I won very few verbal confrontations.

What have I learned. Don’t play in games that you can’t win. I refuse to talk until I’m ready. I have learned to at least comment that the other person’s retort was mean, uncalled for and at least wrong. After I spend the time dissecting the other person’s points, they have usually forgotten the discussion.

There has been a rare occasion or two in my life when I said the right thing at the right time and surprised the heck out of everyone present. It’s not as satisfying as it would seem because you never know how much you’ve actually won.

Don’t embarrass yourself if you don’t come back. It’s a child’s game usually.

When I do unload though, stay out of the way as I’ve brought enough ammunition to destroy a college debate team.

Mostly, I’ve learned to walk away and realize that it isn’t that important.

My favorite is to get them to realize they were wrong by bringing it up in another conversation, usually days later because I couldn’t think of it at the time.

My New Favorite Introvert Book

Once you can handle being alone, the rest of life isn’t a problem and you are free from the grips of other people ruining/ruling your life.

I am the president of the being alone club.

Things I’ve Learned Once I Understood That I Was An Introvert And Who I Am

Because of my personality, being loyal was a trait that overrode protecting myself. I did a lot of stuff that while during it, was a terrible chore. I did my duty because I thought it was my responsibility. I gave myself completely to friendships when all of the effort was for naught. Afterwards, I frequently felt betrayed by others. They didn’t do any share of the relationship or a joint project.

This first happened to me at single digits of age and continued through my work career and hobbies like biking.

I recall the feeling of being betrayed by others and realized they were self-centered. I didn’t understand this concept and had to learn about it the hard way. I had extended myself only to have my minimal expectations (some sense of returned loyalty) ignored or rebuffed.

Being a pattern person, I recognized what was going on and finally started withdrawing my full commitment. This bothered me as I hate giving less than 100% to a friendship or a task, and it gave me no satisfaction. In fact I felt I was selling myself short. The outcome was predictable every time.

Finally, after realizing that guarding myself was more important than worrying about what others might think, I started saying no. I didn’t want to anymore. I didn’t want to go through what I knew would be a one sided effort that left me disappointed again and again. I was tired of being hurt or betrayed. Others do it easily without concern for anyone. I had to learn to say no.

This was tough to do at first, but I had to protect myself or life would continue to be tough on me. I was tough on myself more than others.

I found that there is some initial pain on both sides of the relationship, but mostly mine. It has saved me in the long run. I now don’t do a lot of things that I know are just not going to be worth it. I’m much more careful as to what I’m going to commit to, either in tasks or relationships.

I’ve found some peace once I realized that others don’t give a shit usually other than about themselves. They quickly forget about it and me. I don’t get over it near as quickly, feeling that I’ve let someone down, but it passes and I realize that I’ve prioritized myself rather than others because it was necessary. It’s not selfish, rather a means of self-protection for me.

Of course, I thought I “suffered” from Mauerbauertraurigheit, but then it became my friend and I’ve eliminated a lot of grief. I used to give and give until I was overwhelmed to the point that I completely withdrew and couldn’t control doing so. Now, I recognize it in advance and purposely do it when I know it’s not going to be worth it.

I weigh the benefit against the cost and don’t do a “duty” or what I perceive as an expectation. There is a price for my loyalty, it is at least some in return. Otherwise, you don’t see me anymore.

Over The Counter Covid Treatment

This is too easy. Why are they cramming the vaxx down our throats?

Oh, you know the reason, power and control.

Don’t worry, I’ll get to Bill Gates and population control at some point.

Today’s Self-Help Guide To Avoiding/Escaping Poverty

I post this to try and help someone who might listen. I paid attention as did a lot of people who didn’t wind up in poverty.

I’ve known others that didn’t make it. Without disclosing personal facts, you can just look at the graphic and know what happened to them.

I get that nothing is full proof, but this will help the majority I hope.

Why You Should Ask Older People For Advice

If you want to know the road ahead, ask someone who has been there.

Throughout my life, I’ve always asked people for what advice helped them the most, either good or bad. Sometimes, knowing what to avoid is just as, if not more helpful. I stumbled on this by accident when I realized that I didn’t know everything there was to know as an adolescent, even though I thought I did.

Not knowing the outcome is good if you don’t want to spoil a surprise. Knowing the right path in life to take is never a bad thing.

One thing I’ve learned is that most wise people have also learned that a lot of people don’t listen, so their knowledge remains with them because they are tired of offering to help, only to see it rebuffed or not taken. The same mistakes that experience already taught someone is then a lesson never learned or passed on.

It’s up to you. Ask what is the meaning of life, what helped the most, what is your biggest mistake, I have 2 paths in life to take but don’t know which to choose.

After Election Saying – How To Move On

The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next. – Mignon McLaughlin

People familiar with addiction will recognize this.  Sometimes you just have to make it to the next goal in front of you because the whole view of what is going on in life can be overwhelming at times.

You can make this little accomplishment and then the next.  You build on these small steps and you’ve made it through whatever you’re going through, even if it is the election

Thursday Saying – Success By The Author of Fight Club

“In truth, the degree of anyone’s success depends on how often they can say the word yes and hear the word no.” – Chuck Palanuik

 

Some people stop at no.  Not me.  If you want to succeed, you have to just look at that as a stepping stone to overcome.  Life is about overcoming.  That gives us the greatest satisfaction.  It’s not likes on social media.  It’s when we dig deep, think clearly, seek help and pull ourselves up to victory from the jaws of defeat that gives us the greatest sense of accomplishment.

They’ll say yes sooner or later if you don’t take no for an answer.

Friday Saying – John Wooden On Life

All of life is peaks and valleys. Don’t let the peaks get too high and the valleys too low.

John Wooden

 

Wooden was perhaps the greatest college basketball coach ever.  I think the fans at Duke, UNC and Kentucky may argue, but would still accept his legacy.

My mother told me something similar.  Life is about overcoming problems.  She said it is a series of hurdles that you have to overcome and there will always be another one.

One will always be on one of 3 sides of a situation.  You will be approaching it, enduring it or having just overcome it.  How you deal with it defines you.

With respect to Wooden, it does make life easier when you don’t go too overboard on any of the peaks and valleys.  They all pass and there will always be another one.

Great Sayings – Einstein On Being A Genius

Don’t let others get you down.  Don’t live your life by others version of what you should be.  It’s hard to buck social peer pressure and be yourself, but that’s what it can take sometimes to find the real you.

Stop wasting your life on social media to define yourself by others.  In fact it looks like staying off of social media except for family and a few actual friends looks like it makes your life better anyway.

It’s hard to seek your dreams.  You have to pay the bills and raise the kids, so sometimes your dreams or reaching your capabilities doesn’t come in your 20’s like it did for Albert.

That doesn’t give anyone a free pass for not trying their hardest to do their best.

Great Sayings – Shakespeare

We know what we are, but know not what we may be. – Shakespeare

 

Another version of this goes – You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.  That was either Gretzky or Jordan.

Some don’t try for fear of failure, some don’t try because they lack courage.  Both lose because there is a reward for winning and a reward for learning if you fail.  I heard Michael Jordan say that he took over 30 shots to win games and missed, but it didn’t stop him the next time.  He said when asked if he was worried he might miss and he answered that why would worry about something that hasn’t happened yet?

Don’t let your inhibitions keep you from excelling.  You never know what is inside you until you try.  Many times I haven’t felt well for an activity that I needed to be well conditioned for, yet wound up killing it because all I needed was a warmup.

Go after it today, then go after it tomorrow.  Keep going after it until you can go.  The reward is not a trophy, it is the sense of accomplishment that will help you try again the next time.

Finally, let it be the judge of who you are, not social media.  That is turning into a cesspool of being a time suck and dragging you down because you think something is different than it is.  Don’t be a sheeple.

What Are The Top 10 Things You Should Be Informed Of In Life

Again, these are not my answers, but are an interesting read on people.  It will offend some, but God is number one for me.  The rest of the lists below should offend someone or many.

1. Human psychology. It’s a young field, and no one has all the answers yet. But you can get a better understanding of why other people do what they do — and how to thread your way through life’s complexities — by studying at least a little of this field.

2. The basics of accounting. This will greatly reduce your chances of being swindled in life. It also will make it much easier for you to do some systematic planning, while keeping track of how you’re doing vis a vis your plans.

3. Music. It will calm you. It will inspire you. It will build bridges to a more interesting set of friends.

4. Your own family’s story. Where did your parents grow up, and how did that shape who they are? What are the formal or informal communities that help define your identity? (“We are athletes … we are Irish … we are restless spirits who move from city to city.”) Having an enduring sense of identity that goes beyond the ups and downs of your own life will be a source of comfort and motivation all your life.

5. The way your government really works. Find out why some laws are tightly enforced and others aren’t. Learn the best ways of influencing your government — whether it’s on matters of national significance or something as personal as winning a zoning variance for the cafe you run. Finally, gain some non-bitter insights about why society doesn’t always work the way you’d like.

6. Good nutrition and how to incorporate it into your life. Mike Leary is right.  In a poor society, this is the difference between life and death. In a rich society, it’s — surprise! — the difference between a long, robust future and chronic illness that can turn deadly far too soon.

7. Different cultural values. If you’re going to be effective outside a small cluster of people like you, you’ll need to understand and appreciate how other tribes work, too.

8. How to communicate your ideas to the wider world. Justin Freeman is right. Learn how to speak clearly and persuasively. Or to write well. Or to create useful and appealing computer code, video, music, etc. Pick the medium that works best for you, and make sure you don’t go through life being mute.

9. Effective parenting. Just because your parents didn’t quite get it right (no one ever does!) doesn’t mean that you can’t do better. Find your own style, stick with what works … but keep refining your approach as you learn from others. You owe it to the species.

10. Quora. It’s one-stop shopping for biased crap! Be aware of what’s on Quora, and you’ll know what not to believe.

Here’s another:

  1. Realize that nobody cares, and if they do, you shouldn’t care that they care. Got a new car? Nobody cares. You’ll get some gawkers for a couple of weeks—they don’t care. They’re curious. Three weeks in it’ll be just another shiny blob among all the thousands of others crawling down the freeway and sitting in garages and driveways up and down your street. People will care about your car just as much as you care about all of those. Got a new gewgaw? New wardrobe? Went to a swanky restaurant? Exotic vacation? Nobody cares. Don’t base your happiness on people caring, because they won’t. And if they do, they either want your stuff or hate you for it.
  2. Some rule breakers will break rule number one. Occasionally, people in your life will defy the odds and actually care about you. Still not your stuff, sorry. But if they value you, they’ll value that you value it, and they’ll listen. When you talk about all of those things that nobody else cares about, they will look into your eyes and consume your words, and in that moment you will know that every part of them is there with you.
  3. Spend your life with rule breakers. Marry them. Befriend them. Work with them. Spend weekends with them. No matter how much power you become possessed of, you’ll never be able to make someone care—so gather close the caring.
  4. Money is cheap. I mean, there’s a lot of it—about forty thousand billion dollars floating around the world, largely made up of cash whose value is made up and ascribed to it, anyway. Don’t engineer your life around getting a slightly less tiny portion of this pile, and make your spirit of generosity reflect this principle. I knew a man who became driven by the desire to amass six figures in savings, so he worked and scrimped and sacrificed to get there. And he did… right before he died of cancer. I’m sure his wife’s new husband appreciated his diligence.
  5. Money is expensive. I mean, it’s difficult to get your hands on sometimes—and you never know when someone’s going to pull the floorboards out from under you—so don’t be stupid with it. Avoid debt on depreciating assets, and never incur debt in order to assuage your vanity (see rule number one). Debt has become normative, but don’t blithely accept it as a rite of passage into adulthood—debt represents imbalance and, in some sense, often a resignation of control. Student loan debt isn’t always unavoidable, but it isn’t a given—my wife and I completed a combined ten years of college with zero debt between us. If you can’t avoid it, though, make sure that your degree is an investment rather than a liability—I mourn a bit for all of the people going tens of thousands of dollars in debt in pursuit of vague liberal arts degrees with no idea of what they want out of life. If you’re just dropping tuition dollars for lack of a better idea at the moment, just withdraw and go wander around Europe for a few weeks—I guarantee you’ll spend less and learn more in the process.
  6. Learn the ancient art of rhetoric. The elements of rhetoric, in all of their forms, are what make the world go around—because they are what prompt the decisions people make. If you develop an understanding of how they work, while everyone else is frightened by flames and booming voices, you will be able to see behind veils of communication and see what levers little men are pulling. Not only will you develop immunity from all manner of commercials, marketing, hucksters and salesmen, to the beautiful speeches of liars and thieves, you’ll also find yourself able to craft your speech in ways that influence people. When you know how to speak in order to change someone’s mind, to instill confidence in someone, to quiet the fears of a child, then you will know this power firsthand. However, bear in mind as you use it that your opponent in any debate is not the other person, but ignorance.
  7. You are responsible to everyone, but you’re responsible for yourself. I believe we’re responsible to everyone for something, even if it’s something as basic as an affirmation of their humanity. However, it should most often go far beyond that and manifest itself in service to others, to being a voice for the voiceless. If you’re reading this, there are those around you who toil under burdens larger than yours, who stand in need of touch and respect and chances. Conversely, though, you’re responsible for yourself. Nobody else is going to find success for you, and nobody else is going to instill happiness into you from the outside. That’s on you.
  8. Learn to see reality in terms of systems. When you understand the world around you as a massive web of interconnected, largely interdependent systems, things get much less mystifying—and the less we either ascribe to magic or allow to exist behind a fog, the less susceptible we’ll be to all manner of being taken advantage of. However:
  9. Account for the threat of black swan events. Sometimes chaos consumes the most meticulous of plans, and if you live life with no margins in a financial, emotional, or any other sense, you will be subject to its whims. Take risks, but backstop them with something—I strongly suspect these people who say having a Plan B is a sign of weak commitment aren’t living hand to mouth. Do what you need to in order to keep your footing.
  10. You both need and don’t need other people. You need others in a sense that you need to be part of a community—there’s a reason we reflexively pity hermits. Regardless of your theory of anthropogenesis, it’s hard to deny that we are built for community, and that ‘we’ is always more than ‘me.’ However, you don’t need another person in order for your life to have meaning—this idea that Disney has shoved through our eyeballs, that there’s someone out there for all of us if we’ll just believe hard enough and never stop searching, is hokum… because of arithmetic, if nothing else. Establish your own life—then, if there’s a particular person that you can’t help but integrate, believe me, you’ll know.
  11. Always give more than is required of you.

Go to the link above, there is more.

Add more in comments if you have a better suggestion than these.

8 Basic Truths Even the Smartest People Forget

This is the Background for my Facebook page, the reason I thought this article was so interesting.  Perhaps you will also.  Even the person some regard as the smartest surely forgot some things, especially on his desk.

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Even the smartest people out there sometimes forget some of those obvious concepts:

1. Not feeling ready can be a good thing

Opportunities rarely come when we are 100% ready to seize them. They are more likely to knock on your door when you feel insecure with your preparation, knowledge and skills. But that doesn’t mean you should be ignoring them until you feel ready. Most of our lifetime opportunities force us to grow both emotionally and intellectually. They push us to give the best of ourselves, even if that means getting out of our comfort zones. But sacrificing our comfort can give us the chance for personal growth. If you want to change your life for the better, you should open yourself to the opportunities that arise, even if you don’t feel 100% ready.

2. Success and failure go hand in hand

Often times people tend to misinterpret the meaning of the word “failure”. Why are we so afraid of failure? It is just as natural as succeeding. Failure doesn’t mean not succeeding. It is actually a part of the circle of success. And success itself shouldn’t be measured by the achievement of a particular goal. Success is a state of being and therefore everyone can feel successful.

3. Action is the key for all success

We often hear that knowledge is power. But it only is power if you use it. Knowing how to do something and actually doing it are two completely different things. It doesn’t matter if ,for example, you read books and articles on fighting procrastination, and take no particular action to overcome that problem. Knowledge and intelligence are useless without action.

4. Even mistakes mean progress

If you look back in your life, maybe you will realize that the mistakes you have done in the past have taught you valuable lessons. So why should we be scared of making mistakes, if they help us grow stronger and wiser? Every mistake you make on the way to a particular goal brings you one step closer to achieving it. It is highly possible that the mistake you will regret the most in your life is not taking action because of the fear of making mistakes. This way you will always be wondering what could have happened, if you hadn’t been so scared. And most importantly- you wouldn’t have made any progress. So don’t be afraid of feeling uncertain about something- give it a try and see what happens.

5. Making decisions is impeded when there are too many options

We live in times when there are so many opportunities for us to choose from when it comes to determining our career and life paths. But when we have so many choices before us, we can often times get confused and indecisive. Business and marketing studies prove that when a consumer has more product choices, he’s predisposed to buy less. If you think about it, choosing one product out of three product choices feels much easier than choosing one out of three hundred. Most people will give up easily, if the buying decision process is tough.

6. Success doesn’t necessarily mean happiness

Many people believe that they can only be happy if they accomplish a particular goal. In my opinion, we can choose to be happy every day, no matter where on the path to our goals we are at the moment. “The monk who sold his Ferrari” by Robin Sharma is one of the most inspiring books I have ever read. One of the main ideas shared by the author is that you don’t have to wait to accomplish your dreams to be happy. The main character was one of the most successful layers in the country but even though he had everything he ever wanted, he wasn’t a happy person. The most important thing is to cherish every moment of every day and to be thankful for who you are and what you have now.

7. You can be the best at something even if you don’t like doing it

Some people say that in order to be good at doing something, you should love doing this thing. In my opinion, this isn’t necessarily true. If a person devotes their time and effort to learn a particular skill, they can become excellent at it. How they feel about the activity doesn’t determine their success in it.

8. What we see in others exists in us

When we have a problem with someone, this can actually help us learn more about ourselves. It can help us learn why we see that problem in the other person, and the reason can be that we hold it inside of us, too, and seeing it exposed before us can be frustrating. But acknowledging that what we see in others is a reflection of ourselves, can help us overcome our unsolved issues.

Hat tip to Intelligence.com

University of Texas at Austin 2014 Commencement Address – Admiral William H. McRaven

This is not only very inspiring, it is some of the best advice on the Interweb. For those in a good way, it will make you better, for those in a bad way it will show you how to begin to pick yourself up.  If you are young, it is a good lesson in how to live your life.

Navy SEAL Admiral Bill McRaven University Texas Austin Commencement Hook 'Em

AP Photo/The University of Texas at Austin, Marsha Miller

UT alum Adm. William H. McRaven gives students the “hook ’em horns” at the university’s commencement last week.

 

U.S. Navy admiral and University of Texas, Austin, alumnus William H. McRaven returned to his alma mater last week to give seniors 10 lessons from basic SEAL training when he spoke at the school’s commencement. 

McRaven, the commander of the U.S. Special Operations Command who organized the raid that killed Osama bin Laden, stressed the importance of making your bed every morning, taking on obstacles headfirst, and realizing that it’s OK to be a “sugar cookie.”

All of his lessons were supported by personal stories from McRaven’s many years as a Navy SEAL.

“While these lessons were learned during my time in the military, I can assure you that it matters not whether you ever served a day in uniform,” McRaven told students. “It matters not your gender, your ethnic or religious background, your orientation, or your social status.”

 

What Does the Internet Say Are Great Pieces of Advice for Life?

Not all of these are my idea, rather they were gathered from a collection of many, many others as I’ve run across them.  Nevertheless, they are interesting to ponder.  I’m sure there a thousands more, but they are here for you to share:

Don’t stop learning: If you start coasting through life, you’re gonna lose. Always stretch your intellect.
Don’t always try to be original: Just tell the story or paint the canvas or whatever.
Focusing on “fairness” will lead to stagnation.
If you’re not failing, you’re doing it wrong. (It’s OK to make mistakes.)
Don’t try to reason with mindless, irrational people.
Don’t stress yourself out with news and “staying informed” too much.
Do something that’s not for money.
The key to happiness is BUILDING stuff, not GETTING stuff.
Time passes by a lot faster than you’d think. This effect accelerates with age.
Wealth is relatively unimportant.
Some things can’t be learned; they can only be experienced.
Figure out who you are, then ACCEPT that person, and then BE that person.
Don’t wait for permission. Give yourself the okay.
Don’t lie to yourself.
Forgive as much as possible. Grudges achieve little.
Be humble (especially to the “little” people).
You and you alone control how happy you allow yourself to be.
Find a mentor and BE a mentor.
Find what you like and let it kill you.
You don’t have to eat everything that’s on your plate.
You don’t have to pick up a phone that’s ringing.
Always take action on things. People regret inaction more than action.
The past is something you learn from.  It is not something you live in.
Wealth is measured by your happiness and not by your financial statement.
Your mind decides what is hopeless.  Your circumstances do not.
More things will happen to you that you have absolutely no control over than things you do have control over. You ALWAYS Have the power to choose how you will react.
Remember that their is a God and don’t stop seeking him.
Do one thing at a time. All that huzzah about multi-tasking? BS
Don’t compare yourself with others. It’s an inaccurate measuring stick. It is more accurate to compare from within. Compare yourself with yourself. How much progress have you made? How have you changed? What negative behavior have you stopped engaging in? That’s what matters.

Don’t believe what you think. Never make up stories in your head about what other people are thinking or why they do certain things. Your made-up stories are making you miserable. You’re often wrong about other people are thinking anyway (I cannot count the number of times I’ve overhead “I think x hates me.”) Quit it. Remember, people are by nature benevolent). The criticism you hear about you is only ever one person’s opinion about you. If it becomes a pattern, then you can re-evaluate course and improve. More power to you.

Learn to handle criticism. Don’t take it personally. Criticism of an idea or project is not criticism of the creator as a person. Everything can always be improved; criticism is the vehicle to allow you to improve. Only apply remedial measures if the criticism has value. ”Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Aristotle

Quit idealizing authority. Don’t try to impress people. If you feel a need to you’re implicitly de-valuing yourself and asserting “I don’t think you’ll like me for who I am, so I will try to “impress” you instead.” You’re not allowing yourself to fully connect with someone when you put them on a pedestal.
Don’t take anything personally. It’s easy to get offended and internalize what others say. Recognize that when you ask someone for advice, responses can be all over the place. Understand that others opinions’ are a reflection of their own world and a product of their own reality. It has nothing to do with you.
Never get into a victim mentality. If you focus on what’s right and wrong, you’ll stagnate. Instead, accept things the way they are. Once you do this you can to start to change things and have the power to redirect the future the way you want to.
Value the people in your life. Everyone wants to feel like they’re important. Look at everyone as if they had a star on their forehead that said, “make me feel special.” People hunger for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you. Stop wasting time and energy thinking about how people should be different.
Be happy for other people who are happy. Train your mind to be sincerely happy for happiness and catch your resentments and jealousies before they run off too far. It’s easy to resent people for being happy.
Embrace vulnerability. Embrace discomfort. Doing this will increase your luck surface. Allow yourself to be hurt. When you trust yourself, you’ll be confident enough that you will rise up again when you fall.
Just because you don’t feel like doing something doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do it.
You never have anything to lose. You could lose all your money, and become homeless for a while, but you can’t lose who you are, your essence. Be okay with getting your hands dirty and screwing things up – in believing that you have nothing to lose, you will have the power to move through your own life and create change.

Great Sayings With Meaning, and Some Trivia Also

“Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.” (Sign hanging in Einstein’s office at Princeton)

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie

Robert Frost – “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”

arrêtez de ramer, tu attaques la falaise. (You can stop rowing now, you’re on the beach)

It is easy to lose one’s perspective in a mass of details. – Bible Study Fellowship

Failure is but a paragraph in the book of each human life. It is the pages that follow that ultimately define us

Laurence J. Peter – “An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.”

“Racing is Life.  Everything before and after is just waiting.” Steve McQueen from the movie LeMans

Albert Einstein open original article “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former

Joseph Heller -“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he’s on.”

Sidney J. Harris – “A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.”

Abba Eban-“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”

When you win, say nothing, when you lose, say less. -Paul Brown

You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. -Michael Jordan

Every game is an opportunity to measure yourself against your own potential. -Bud Wilkinson

Excellence is not a singular act but a habit. You are what you do repeatedly. -Shaquille O’Neal

“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.” Winston Churchill, as quoted in The New American Newspeak Dictionary (2005) by Adrian Krieg, p. 96

 Rudeness is a weak person’s imitation of strength

Oscar Wilde

“What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

Losers quit when they’re tired. Winners quit when they’ve won

370H-SSV-0773H  – read upside down

I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race [is] not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

For man also knoweth not his time: as the fishes that are taken in an evil net, and as the birds that are caught in the snare; so [are] the sons of men snared in an evil time, when it falleth suddenly upon them.– Ecclesiastes 9:11,12 —

“Meetings are indispensable when you don’t want to do anything.”  – John Kenneth Galbraith

If guns kill people, then pens misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, forks make you fat, and TVs make you watch porn.

Listen to people.  If they are worth talking to, they are worth listening to first.

You can’t change what happens to you in life.  All you can change is how you deal with it.

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a Rats Rump in days.

Liberalism: Moochers electing looters to steal from producers

Political Correctness –  A term used by whiny wussies that need stuff sugar coated

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” -Albert Einstein

“I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him.” Abraham Lincoln

  • “This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.” Elmer Davis
  • “Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty.”  John F. Kennedy
  • “Sure I wave the American flag. Do you know a better flag to wave? Sure I love my country with all her faults. I’m not ashamed of that, never have been, never will be.”  John Wayne
  • “We must always remember that America is a great nation today not because of what government did for people but because of what people did for themselves and for one another.” Richard Nixon
  • “There is no limit to the greatness of America!” George W. Bush
  • “Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy.” Ann Coulter
  • “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” Nathan Hale
  • “Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.” Adlai E. Stevenson
  • “One, if you attack my integrity, I will defend myself. If you attack my patriotism, I will defend myself. If you come after my family, I will counter-attack viciously, I will destroy you.” Scott Ritter
  • “The American patriots of today continue the tradition of the long line of patriots before them, by helping to promote liberty and freedom around the world.” John Linder
  • “Patriotism is easy to understand in America. It means looking out for yourself by looking out for your country.” Calvin Coolidge
  • “This country will not be a good place for any of us to live in unless we make it a good place for all of us to live in.” Theodore Roosevelt
  • “You cannot spill a drop of American blood without spilling the blood of the whole world…. We are not a nation, so much as a world.” Herman Melville

A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within – Ariel Durant

“Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.”  – George Eliot

But isn’t it always that way with liberals? The only time they seem to make any sense at all is when they’re drunk or you are.

-Burt Prelutsky

Ya gotta be tough if your gonna be stupid.

“Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rapidly promoted by mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of crap by the clean end.”


Laurence J. Peteropen

“Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.”

“Never judge a book by its movie.”

“Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side.”

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom
If the phone doesn’t ring, it’s me – Jimmy Buffett
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.” – Thomas Jefferson
Pain is only temporary, victory is forever -Jeremy H. WinningLaurence J. Peter – “Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.”

Ronald Reagan – “The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”

Douglas Adams – “Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”

Ronald Reagan – “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.'”

Mark Twain – “Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

Frank Zappa – “Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff.”

Peter Drucker – “So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work.”

Michael Crichton – “Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you’re being had.”

Thomas Sowell – “Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good.”

Vince Lombardi – “If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?”

Ronald Reagan – “Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.”

“Thanking Obama for killing Osama bin Laden is like going into McDonald’s and thanking Clown Ronald McDonald for the hamburger. The person cooking the burger should get the credit, not the Clown. It was the intelligence gained by the previous administration that found him.”

And you sir are weak! Unwilling and unable to look evil in the eye and deal with it!  – Jack Bauer

“If one does not fail at times, then one has not challenged himself.” -Ferdinand Porsche

What Are The Biggest Time Wasters of Your Life

I found this from Anuj Agarwal, Founder Feedspot.com. but I wish I’d known about it earlier in life as I could have been more productive.
I’d like to explore what you feel is the biggest waste of time in your life. It could be standing in line, it could be pumping gas, it could be sitting on hold, or watching TV. Or, it could be reading a book (instead of listening to it while you work out and/or do the dishes), doing your taxes, or filling out paperwork for a rebate. Anything’s open.

What I’m after are essentially business ideas that anyone can go out and pursue as a startup if they wanted to.

Common things:

  • Anger
  • Worry
  • Regret
  • Procrastination
  • Watching TV
  • Dwelling on the past
  • Not learning from past mistakes
  • Trying to change things outside of your control
  • Seeking revenge
  • Quarreling
  • The Internet/Social Media
  • Thinking too much about the future
  • Working hard and nothing is coming out of it.
  • Facebook
  • Facebook (2)
  1. The fear of missing out. – If you feel anxious because you constantly feel like you’re missing out on something happening somewhere else, you’re not alone.  We all feel this way sometimes.  But let me assure you,you could run around trying to do everything, and travel around the world, and always stay connected, and work and party all night long without sleep, but you could never do it all.  You will always be missing something.  So let it go, and realize you have everything right now.  The best in life isn’t somewhere else; it’s right where you are, at this moment.  Celebrate the perhaps not altogether insignificant fact that you are alive right now.  This moment, and who you are, is absolutely perfect.  Take a deep breath, smile, and notice how lovely it is.
  2. Avoiding pain and defeat. – Not to spoil the ending for you, but everything is going to be OK – you just need to learn a lesson or two first.  Don’t run from the realities of the present moment.  The pain and defeat contained within is necessary to your long-term growth.  Remember, there is a difference between encountering defeats and being defeated.  Nothing ever goes away until it teaches you what you need to know, so you can move on to the next step.
  3. Holding on to what’s no longer there. – Some of us spend the vast majority of our lives recounting past memories, and letting them steer the course of the present.  Don’t waste your time trying to live in another time and place.  Let the past, go.  You must accept the end of something in order to begin to build something new.  So close some old doors today.  Not because of pride, inability or egotism, but simply because you’ve entered each one of them in the past and realize that they lead to nowhere.
  4. Retelling a self-defeating story. – If we continue to repeat a story in our head, we eventually believe that story and embrace it – whether it empowers us or not.  So the question is: Does your story empower you?  Don’t place your mistakes on your mind, their weight may crush your current potential.  Instead, place them under your feet and use them as a platform to view the horizon.  Remember, all things are difficult before they are easy.  What matters the most is what you start doing now.
  5. Attempting to fit in by becoming someone else. – The hardest battle you’re ever going to fight is the battle to be you, just the way you are in this moment.  We cannot find ourselves if we are always searching for, or morphing into, someone else.  In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self.  Be your own kind of beautiful right now, in the way only you know how.
  6. The picture in your head of how it’s supposed to be. – What often screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.  Although every good thing has an end, in life every ending is just a new beginning.  Life goes on – not always the way we had envisioned it would be, but always the way it’s supposed to be.  Remember, we usually can’t choose the music life plays for us, but we can choose how we dance to it.
  7. Berating yourself for not being perfect. – Don’t be too hard on yourself.  There are plenty of people willing to do that for you.  Do your best and surrender the rest.  Tell yourself, “I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment.  And that is all I can expect of anyone, including me.”  Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do, even your mistakes.  Because even mistakes mean you’re trying.
  8. Waiting, and then waiting some more. – Stop waiting for tomorrow; you will never get today back.  It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past.  It doesn’t matter how low or unworthy you feel right now.  The simple fact that you’re alive makes you worthy.  Life is too short for excuses.  Stop settling.  Stop procrastinating.  Start today by taking one courageous step forward.  If you are not sure exactly which way to go, it is always wise to follow your heart.

Keys To Being Excellent At What You Do

Exceprts from: Tony Schwartz: 

We’ve found, in our work with executives at dozens of organizations, that it’s possible to build any given skill or capacity in the same systematic way we do a muscle: push past your comfort zone, and then rest. Aristotle Will Durant*, commenting on Aristotle, pointed out that the philosopher had it exactly right 2000 years ago: “We are what we repeatedly do.” By relying on highly specific practices, we’ve seen our clients dramatically improve skills ranging from empathy, to focus, to creativity, to summoning positive emotions, to deeply relaxing.

Like everyone who studies performance, I’m indebted to the extraordinary Anders Ericsson, arguably the world’s leading researcher into high performance. For more than two decades, Ericsson has been making the case that it’s not inherited talent which determines how good we become at something, but rather how hard we’re willing to work — something he calls “deliberate practice.” Numerous researchers now agree that 10,000 hours of such practice is the minimum necessary to achieve expertise in any complex domain.

That notion is wonderfully empowering. It suggests we have remarkable capacity to influence our own outcomes. But that’s also daunting. One of Ericsson’s central findings is that practice is not only the most important ingredient in achieving excellence, but also the most difficult and the least intrinsically enjoyable.

If you want to be really good at something, it’s going to involve relentlessly pushing past your comfort zone, as well as frustration, struggle, setbacks and failures. That’s true as long as you want to continue to improve, or even maintain a high level of excellence. The reward is that being really good at something you’ve earned through your own hard work can be immensely satisfying.

Here, then, are the six keys to achieving excellence we’ve found are most effective for our clients:

  1. Pursue what you love. Passion is an incredible motivator. It fuels focus, resilience, and perseverance.
  2. Do the hardest work first. We all move instinctively toward pleasure and away from pain. Most great performers, Ericsson and others have found, delay gratification and take on the difficult work of practice in the mornings, before they do anything else. That’s when most of us have the most energy and the fewest distractions.
  3. Practice intensely, without interruption for short periods of no longer than 90 minutes and then take a break. Ninety minutes appears to be the maximum amount of time that we can bring the highest level of focus to any given activity. The evidence is equally strong that great performers practice no more than 4 ½ hours a day.
  4. Seek expert feedback, in intermittent doses. The simpler and more precise the feedback, the more equipped you are to make adjustments. Too much feedback, too continuously can create cognitive overload, increase anxiety, and interfere with learning.
  5. Take regular renewal breaks. Relaxing after intense effort not only provides an opportunity to rejuvenate, but also to metabolize and embed learning. It’s also during rest that the right hemisphere becomes more dominant, which can lead to creative breakthroughs.
  6. Ritualize practice. Will and discipline are wildly overrated. As the researcher Roy Baumeister has found, none of us have very much of it. The best way to insure you’ll take on difficult tasks is to build rituals — specific, inviolable times at which you do them, so that over time you do them without having to squander energy thinking about them.

And now a note from me, work harder than the next guy but do it smarter.  The above will help guide you but I’ve found that if you can figure out your passion, the resolve to do the rest falls easier into place.  Concentrate and focus on what you and your competition are doing, that way you know what the playing field is.  Learn the un-written rules of the game as well as any politics that will serve you better than your competition.