
Category: Gross and Disgusting
The Former Rachel Levine And Lia Thomas

What do they have in common? Both were born with the XY Chromosome, produce a lot of testosterone and probably still have dicks. Oh, they also take achievements, awards and positions away from women born with XX Chromosome’s, produce Estrogen and were born with vaginas.
Need I go on now that I’m not being woke or PC?
You can change your appearance, but not gender. It’s that science thing they want us to either believe or ignore, depending on what is convenient for those who think they are the ruling class.
I know readers will go away who think that something this obvious is so offensive, but I refuse to live in a make believe world when the stuff they want me to believe is too far over the line.


NCAA Swimming, Men’s and Co-Ed Now
I Saw This At The Gym Parking Lot
I was so flabbergasted by the car, I didn’t even see the guy inside looking at me take these pictures. The next day, I saw him at there again and he wore nice shoes and is very dedicated and intense.
Not too tidy there with the car though bro. I thought you lived in it until I saw you were just a mess.


The Next Bitcoin, Scarcity Adds Value
What Does Getting A Boner Sound Like?
If You Feel Like You Are Useless…..
The Trans Athletes, Turning Sports Into Men’s And Co-Ed
The end of girls sports can be blamed on feminism and the Ivy League. They have failed to stand up for the females and have bowed the knee to political correctness by letting men kick ass on the rest of the girls and the record book. Of all groups, you’d think the pink pussy hat group of cackling Karen’s would at least stand up for their own.
The Ivy League are supposed to be smart people producing smart people. They are revealing a new level of stupidity that only the woke could deliver at this level of idiocy. They continue to under perform in producing a quality education experience and over perform in the price charged for this lack of education. They are good at woke though. It’s no coincidence that they are the premier of the left also.
The rest of us in the real world (the one’s who think they are elite call us the flyover states) know that men are stronger than women and that this is ruining things for girls sports.
From Legal Insurrection, Lia the girl with a dick wins by 7 seconds:
Lia Thomas Breaks Pool Record of Olympian Kate Ziegler In 500 Freestyle Win at Ivy League Champs
One night after posting the fastest split in the 800-yard freestyle relay, the University of Pennsylvania’s Lia Thomas captured her first individual title at the Ivy League Women’s Swimming and Diving Championships. Thomas, a transgender woman, produced a winning time of 4:37.32, which was more than seven seconds quicker than the 4:44.83 clocked by teammate Catherine Buroker for second place.
A three-year member of Penn’s men’s team, Thomas transitioned to female during the COVID-19 pandemic and is in her first season as a member of the women’s team. Her performance at the Ivy League Champs established a Blodgett Pool record, breaking the mark of Olympian Kate Ziegler, and just missed the meet record of 4:36.37, set in 2020 by Ellie Marquardt of Princeton. Marquardt was third on Thursday night in 4:46.63.
One of the few times I have anything good to say about social media, they cheered the second place finisher who was an actual girl in the women’s events.
Since no one will call out the tranny’s for ruining Title IX and girls sports, guys have turned it into co-ed sports.
Here’s the track and field version of co-ed sports:
I’m a mom, a coach and a Team USA World Masters track athlete who is fighting for something greater than another gold medal: I’m standing for the protection of women’s sports.
If male-bodied athletes continue competing on female teams, it will be the end of women’s sports. This is no exaggeration; this is reality, and it’s happening right now.
At the 2018 World Masters Athletics Championships in Málaga, Spain, I competed in the 200-meter race against a male-bodied athlete, whom I beat by only a few tenths of a second. The next year, the same athlete beat my teammate in the hurdles for a place on the podium at the 2019 World Championship indoor meet in Poland. My teammate had trained harder than anyone I know.
It wasn’t just on the world stage that I experienced the demoralizing trend of male-bodied athletes displacing females from their own competitions; it was also on my home island of Maui, Hawaii.
Things That Don’t Lie, Yoga Pants
When I went to Milan, the fashion capital of Italy I was expecting gorgeous clothes on stunning women. What I got was a parade of yoga pants, in this case done worse than in the USA.
No matter where I go now, be it the grocery store, a restaurant, walking anywhere it’s pretty much what you see on girls of all age.
I got news for you. Most of you shouldn’t be wearing them, or shouldn’t be wearing them outside the house. I get that it is the fashion trend and they are comfortable, but a lot of you fill them out way more than they were meant to. This is even true in the gym, where they are acceptable.
Well, it’s a boon to guys who want to check you out, unless you are an exhibitionist. It hides nothing and reveals everything. A lot of you shouldn’t be wearing thongs underneath them either. Those are supposed to be sexy and there are few over their mid twenties that make them look that way.
Don’t come back with guys with beer bellies and butt cracks because I’ll get to that in another post.
For now, here’s why:

If you really want to laugh, play this song because it describes almost every name there is for this part of the anatomy. It’s freakin’ hilarious.
Pencil Trick For Girls, Towel (Doughnut) Hanger For Guys
Hanging a towel on your junk is a joke that Jeff Foxworthy made about the side effects of Viagra. I learned about the pencil trick from off color office banter at some point in my working career.
They aren’t fooling me about what they are hanging doughnuts on. It’s below the belt humor.
People do this when they get bored. It is sophomoric, but funny to me as I have a 12 year old’s sense of humor.


When Your Lingerie says Victoria’s Secret, But Your Body Says McDonalds
The UPenn Trans Swimmer Acting Out A Revenge Of The Nerds Scenario, And The Woke Are Buying It
In a nutshell, if you aren’t competitive as a man, like UPenn’s Lia Thomas:
then you can switch to the girls team and kick ass in the pool. In a Revenge of the Nerds act, you now get to change in the girls locker room and still like girls. It’s almost a joke. It could also be a scene from Animal House.
It turns out that the real girls don’t want a dude with all of his male equipment swinging in the locker room while they are changing. Who’d have guessed that?
It goes on to say that he doesn’t care and everyone has to bend to him getting to his desires with the naked girls while the 35 other members of the team don’t want him in there.
He still likes girls which makes this even more like a college prank on everyone.
To the woke, who ruin everything they touch, he may truly go through the process and change his appearance, but you can’t change your gender, it’s XX or XY and you are born with that. They can say what they want, but he’s a man with male plumbing who went through male puberty. He has a genetic advantage and hormones that attract him to females. Science wins.
We now are a population of stupid. Here is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, Her Male Genitals, seriously? There is no such thing. As Andrew Dice Clay said, you are born with a dick and balls, or born without them.
He is making a mockery of girls sports. Title IX has become Men’s and Co-Ed now sports now. The girls have no chance because even they admit they can’t compete with a biological male.
Being skeptical, read here the part about him still liking and dating women:
‘It’s definitely awkward because Lia still has male body parts and is still attracted to women,’ one swimmer on the team told DailyMail.com in an exclusive interview.
Lia has told her teammates that she dates women.
Me, having been the perpetrator of many pranks to the level of Animal House while in college, is calling a potential BS on this.
He’s kicking ass on the field when he couldn’t win, and gets to see 30+ girls naked in the locker room while swinging his meat around in front of them.
How is this not a joke? The woke ruin everything and those who are supporting this are destroying anything feminism ever stood for. The media cheering this on are sick and hate what is morally right.
UPenn, the NCAA and the rest of the Title IX crowd are hypocrites.
Gross High IQ Humor
Euphemisms For Farting
I posted Euphemisms for stupid a while back and it’s still pretty high on the search list. I was in the shower, where I do some of my best thinking and gathered some of these off the web. I have also posted on how much farts weigh.
No matter who you are, you fart. Most people think it’s funny. Old people don’t care and just let it go whenever. Guys have farting contests and remember the loudest, longest and smelliest ones. Girls say it’s gross in from of others, but let it rip when they are alone.
Everybody thinks it’s funny if someone famous gets caught.

It’s still a Covid test. If you can smell it, you don’t have Covid.
Enjoy
Air bagel
Air biscuit
Airbrush the boxers
Air tulip
Anal acoustics
Anal ‘ahem’
Anal audio
Anal exhale
Anal salute
Anal volcano
Anus applause
Answering the call of the wild burrito
back blast
Back draft
Back-end blowout
Backdoor breeze
Backdoor sneeze
Backfire
Bake an air biscuit
Baking brownies
Bark
Barking spider
Barn burner
Bean blower
Beef
Beefer
Beep your horn
Belch from behind
Belching clown
Benchwarmer
Better open a window
Blast
Blast the chair
Blat
Blow mud
Blow the big brown horn
Blue dart
Blurp
Blurt
Bomber
Boom-boom
Booty bomb
Booty cough
Bottom blast
Bottom burp
Booty belch
Break the sound barrier
Break wind
Breath of fresh air
Brown cloud
Brown dart
Brown haze
Brown horn brass band
Brown thunder
Bubbler
Bull snort
BUMsen burner
Bun shaker
Bung blast
Burning rubber
Burner
Burp out the wrong end
Bust ass
Buster
Butt bazooka
Butt bleat
Butt bongos
Butt burp
Butt cheek screech
Butt dumpling
Butt percussion
Butt sneeze
Butt trauma
Butt trumpet
Butt tuba
Butt wind
Butt yodeling
Buttock bassoon
Chair air
Cheek flapper
Cheek squeak
Cheeser
Cheesin’
Colon bowlin’
Colonic Calliope
Crack a rat
Crack concert
Crack one off
Crack splitters
Crap call
Crop dusting
Crowd killer
Cut a stinker
Cut one
Cut the cheese
Death breath
Deflating
Doing the one cheek sneak
Doing the two cheek sneak
Drifter
Drop a bomb
Droppin’ stink bombs
Duck call
Eggy
Emptying the tank
Exhume the dinner corpse
Exploding bottom
Exterminator
False pooper
Fanny beep
Fanny frog
Fart (of course)
Fecal fume
Fire a Stink torpedo
Fire in the hole
Firing the retro rocket
Fizzler
Flame thrower
Flamer
Flapper
Flatulate
Flatulence
Flatus
Flipper
Float an air biscuit
Floater
Floof
Fluffer
Fluffy
Fogger
Fog horn
Fog slicer
Fowl howl
Fragrant foof
Free jacuzzi
Freep
Free speech
Frump
Fumigating
Funky roller
Gas
Gas attack
Gas blaster
Gas master
Get out and walk Donald
Ghost turd
Gluteal maximus gas a mess
Gluteal tuba
Great brown cloud
Grundle rumble
Grunt
Gurgler
Heinie hiccup
Heinous Anus
Hisser
Hole flapper
Honk
Honker
Horton hears a poo
Hot wind
Hottie
Human hydrogen bomb
HUMrrhoids
Ignition
Insane in the methane
Inverted burb
Jet power
Jet propulsion
Jockey burner
Just calling your name
Just keeping warm
Kaboomer
Killing the canary
Lay an egg
Lean mean bean machine
Let each bean be heard
Let one fly
Let one go
Let one rip
Let the beans out
Lethal cloud
Let Polly out of jail
Make a stink
Mating call
Methane bomb
Methane dart
Methane mating call
Methane pain
Mexican (food) jet propulsion
Moon gas
Mouse on a motorcycle
Mud duck
Nasty cough
Nose death
Odor bubble
Odorama
One-gun salute
One-man band
One-man brass band
One-man salute
Orchestra practice
O-ring oboe
Painting the elevator
Paint peeler
Paint stainer
Panty burp
Parp
Parper
Party in your pants
Pass gas
Pass wind
Peter
Pewie
Pip
Playing the tuba
Playing the trouser tuba
Poof
Poof-poof
Poop gas
Poop gopher
Poot
Pootsa
Pop
Pop a fluffy
Pop tart
Power puff
Puffer
Puff the Magic Dragon
Putt-putt
Quack
Quaker
Raspberry
Rattler
Rebuilding the ozone layer
Rectal honk
Rectal shout
Rectal tremor
Rectal turbulence
Release a squeaker
Release the hounds
Rip one
Ripped the cheese
Ripper
Ripple
Roar from the rear
Roast the jockeys
Room clearer
Rump ripper
Rump roar
Saluting my shorts
Scud missle
Shoot the cannon
Silent and scentless
Silent but deadly
Silly cyanide
Singe the pants/chair/etc
Skunk bait
Slider
Sphincter siren
Sphincter song
Sphincter whistle
Spitter
Split the seam
Squeaker
Squeak one out
Stale wind
Steam-press your pants
Steamer
Step on a duck
Step on a frog
Stink bomb
Stink burger
Stink it up
Stinker
Stinky
Stinkmeaner
Tail wind
Taint tickle
Thunder from down under
Thurp
Toilet tune
Toot
Toot your own horn
Tootsie
Trouser cough
Trouser trumpet
Trunk bunk
Turd tremors
Turtle burp
Tushy tickler
Uncorked one
Uncorking
Under burp
Under thunder
Venting
Vent one
Wallop
Whiff
Whoopee
Whopper
Zinger
These came from Farthub
The Ivy League, Falling Out Of The Stupid Tree And Hitting Every Branch On The Way Down
Being woke doesn’t make you smart. Any hint of being elite and in this case being intelligent just got flushed down the pool for the Ivy’s.
The statement below was released about the biological male absolutely kicking ass in the pool, breaking women’s records and losing only to another gender transitioning walking mental case pretending to be a guy. It is a well known fact that this man was also kicking ass among men only a couple of years ago. Any look into the record books can see the difference in times between the two sexes in any event.
Lia Thomas finds support from Penn, Ivy League ahead of weekend meet
Lia Thomas, a transgender swimmer who has been dominating the pool for the University of Pennsylvania this season, found support from the Ivy League and the school ahead of the Quakers’ meet against Yale and Dartmouth this weekend.
Thomas has been wrapped in controversy for her prowess in swimming competitions this season. She previously competed as a man for two years on the school’s men’s team, and her success this year renewed criticism over allowing transgender women to compete against biological females.
But regardless of the parental outrage and some annoyance from her teammates, Thomas received support from the conference and the Quakers ahead of the important tri-meet on Saturday.
“Over the past several years, Lia and the University of Pennsylvania worked with the NCAA to follow all of the appropriate protocols in order to comply with the NCAA policy on transgender athlete participation and compete on the Penn women’s swimming and diving team. The Ivy League has adopted and applies the same NCAA policy,” the conference said in a statement Thursday.
See the tweet below:
The Ivy League releases the following statement of support regarding Penn’s Lia Thomas’ participation on the women’s swimming and diving team. 🌿 pic.twitter.com/wdEDW4ud5O
— The Ivy League (@IvyLeague) January 6, 2022
Here’s more:
Statement regarding our women’s swimmer, Lia Thomas. #FightOnPenn pic.twitter.com/lvrnBbfeEr
— Penn Quakers (@pennathletics) January 6, 2022
Harvard Athletics stands with Penn Athletics, and the Ivy League, in the support of all student-athletes and in rejecting hate and transphobia in our community. https://t.co/6Gw0PSHuTu
— Harvard Athletics (@harvardcrimson) January 6, 2022
source and more here
For those of us who know the actual difference between men and women it just doesn’t make much sense. Physiology, puberty, testosterone and body composition separate them.

That the Ivy League is standing behind this just goes to show you that you shouldn’t waste money sending your kids to these places lead by people who won’t recognize the truth.
Pretend all you want, but I’m not buying it. Basic biology and any DNA test will show you that there is XX and XY genes, that’s all. You can change your appearance, but not your sex.
As Forrest Gump said, stupid is as stupid does.

I’m sure some of the woke will do what they do best, try to silence me because I point out the truth and it hurts their agenda. Even if they do silence me, it’s not going to change any facts that are here. It just goes to show you that when the woke can’t win against facts, they try to shut down the conversation to hide the truth.
Fauci, Dog and Child Murderer and Covid Vaccine Liar
Any one of the above in the title is bad enough for the regular person to be prosecuted for breaking the law. All three have led to deaths of people or dogs, for me, unacceptable.
I’ve been meaning to talk about this, but subjecting dogs to being eaten by sand flies in Tunisia where he hid from authorities in the rest of the world is cruel and sick. He had their vocal cords cut so they couldn’t cry out in pain.
It is well documented, don’t trust me saying he should be charged with animal cruelty. I would have a hard time holding myself back from doing bodily harm to him for just that alone. I am very capable in many ways of hurting people, and have.
I didn’t want to get into too much detail on the dogs because it breaks my heart that this asshole could do this. The research wasn’t necessary.
Next, he killed children who were orphans in New York.
In 2005 Dr. Fauci’s NIH was also caught funding experiments on AIDS orphans at a New York City hospital. The Gateway Pundit reported on this dark Fauci chapter in October.
The Fauci NIH approved experiments on hundreds of New York City orphans. Government agencies and pharmaceutical companies used the orphans in deadly AIDS drug trials.
In 2005, the city of New York hired the VERA Institute to form a final report on the drug trials. VERA was given no access to medical records for any of the children used in trials.
https://ibloga.blogspot.com/2021/12/rfk-jr-reporter-found-monument-to-dead.html
Their report was published in 2008. They reported that twenty-five children died during the drug studies, that an additional fifty-five children died following the studies (in foster care), and, according to Tim Ross, Director of the Child Welfare program at VERA (as of 2009), 29% of the remaining 417 children who were used in drug studies had died (out of a total 532 children that are admitted to have been used).
Now, He could have used medicines that could have cured people and he knew it, but instead pushed the vaccine on the public. Not curing Covid killed thousands and the jab has killed many thousands more.

He admitted that he knew the vaccines weren’t working and are actually hurting people here:
Now, the latest VAERS estimate: 388,000 Americans killed by the COVID vaccines.
Here is an excerpt:
Today, our best estimate of vaccine fatalities using the VAERS data is that the US Government is responsible for killing 388,000 formerly healthy Americans. For no reason or societal benefit. Under the guise of saving them.
And we’re not done yet. Those kids with myocarditis? Half of them could die in 5 years. We just don’t know. Prion diseases… we don’t know. Autoimmune diseases… we don’t know. Reproductive issues… unknown. Original antigenic sin? Possibly. You get the idea.
By contrast, the Vietnam War was a long, deadly struggle that took place from 1954 to 1975 between North Vietnam and South Vietnam. The U.S. National Archives shows that 58,220 U.S. soldiers perished over the 21 years. Here, we’ve killed more than 6 times as many people in a fraction of the time… just 11 months.
No one in mainstream media will dare talk about this. They won’t even ask the question. Not a single reporter.
So Fauci is a mass murderer, a child and dog killer. What happened to justice?

Someone’s Been Waiting A Lifetime To Write This Headline
Covid Things I Want To Do
Yep, I would too. It may be a bit demented and childish, but to me it sounds funny as heck because I can be both.
For People Who Pick Their Nose (In Other Words, You)

My friend George loves picking his in the car. He has fat fingers and we call it rooting, like what pigs do for food.
It reminds me of the scene in Seinfeld when he was scratching his nose, but got busted as it looked like he was picking it.
Even funnier was in Caddyshack when they bet if the Smails kid would pick his nose, and then bet if he would eat it. I know it’s gross, but my humor is sophomoric.
Epstein And Clinton At The Whitehouse
This was only at the White House. JFK had prostitutes come in through the back door and they hid that for decades. These are only the documented visits.
So one has to wonder or guess, was it about money and/or sex. Clinton sold the Lincoln bedroom for money and his #metoo record is pretty obvious by now, so what was really going on between these two?
Guess again if you think we’ll find out with the Ghislaine Maxwell trial. The criminals have to protect themselves because they are incestually connected. They are circling the wagons to protect themselves. The MSM will not report it because they are playing for the same team
Some may choose not to believe what they know went on, but the operative words were “they know what went on”, like everyone else.
Verdict: Guilty
The Four F’s, Basic Biological Drives Related To Survival; Fighting, Fleeing, Feeding…….
More Proof You Can’t Fix Stupid
Headline Of The Day – Man’s penis rots after being bitten by snake while sitting on toilet in South Africa
From The New York Post
A Dutch man had to undergo reconstructive surgery on his penis after a cobra bit his manhood during a safari trip in South Africa — causing it to rot.
The 47-year-old victim suffered scrotal necrosis after the cold-blooded serpent, which was lurking in the toilet bowl, attacked, according to Urology Case Reports.
In what the medical journal described as the first case of “snouted cobra envenomation of the genitals,” the unidentified man had to wait three hours before he was flown by helicopter to the nearest trauma center some 220 miles away.
“His penis and scrotum were noted to be swollen, deep purple in color, and painful on hospital admission. Scrotal necrosis was diagnosed, and he received multiple doses of a non-specific snake venom antiserum and broad-spectrum antibiotics,” according to the medical report.
The man reported vomiting and a burning sensation as well as pain that shot up from his groin into the abdomen and upper chest – though he developed no neurological symptoms during the ordeal.
He required hemodialysis due to acute kidney injury before undergoing reconstructive surgery.
see also

Indian man gets life sentence for killing wife with cobra
“The scrotal necrosis was reported to involve the entire fascia (skin to internal spermatic) and was excised with extensive margins. Primary closure was performed, leaving a drain in situ,” Urology Case Reports said.
“The defect in the penile shaft was treated by superficial debridement and a vacuum assisted closure pump. After 9 days, the patient was repatriated to the Netherlands,” it added.
A plastic surgeon later performed a “penile shaft debridement, with extensive resection of dead tissue extending into the corpus spongiosum to the fold of the preputium.” A graft from the groin was then placed over the penis and he has made a full recovery.
Necrosis – or necrotizing fasciitis, commonly referred to as the “flesh-eating disease” — is a potentially deadly condition caused by bacteria infecting tissue. The condition, which spreads quickly, requires immediate treatment with intravenous antibiotics.
Why My Generation Isn’t Easily Offended

Or This:

Or This:

In these skits are just about everything that the cancel culture is against. My friends and I still talk in code from the album, “Is it Something I said?”
These are some of the funniest skits and talents there have been. Too bad the snowflakes won’t be able to appreciate it.
Here’s one final shot at childish and sophomoric, yet humorous comedy:

I leave you with this. Who knows what, “yeah, and it’s deep too” means?
Why Men Don’t Make Good Women – Sarcasm Style

If we had boobs, we’d spend all the time playing with them. If we were together, we’d use them as squirt guns and shoot milk at each other.
I read that only a heart attack or passing a kidney stone is as painful as giving birth. That means there would be only one generation and the population would end because we wouldn’t do it.
What Are The 3 S’s?
Of course the 4th is shampoo.
2700 Year Old Toilet Found, I Guess They Had Better Aim Back Then

I don’t know what the scale is, but it’s less than the bowls we have now days.
A rare private toilet, part of an ancient royal estate from the 7th century BCE discovered on the Armon Hanatziv promenade in Jerusalem, is to be presented to the public tomorrow.
The toilet cubicle was uncovered in a dig by the Israel Antiquities Authority and the City of David, about two years ago, in the remains of a magnificent building which overlooked the City of David and the Temple Mount.
The cubicle was hewn as a rectangular-shaped cabin, with a carved toilet, which stood over a deep-hewn septic tank. Made of limestone, the toilet is designed for comfortable sitting, with a hole in the center.
It must be the men’s room. There looks like it had a place to rest your boys without them getting smashed.
And Now You Know Stuff …. Like Who’s the Asshole, Blue Whales, Why 6 feet for Social Distancing and Karen’s
Don’t Do This

Sounding – A Terrible New Internet Trend (sticking things in your dick)
First they ate a spoon of cinnamon. Then, they were snorting rubbers (It’s on YouTube, I didn’t want to have to see it again).
Now there is sounding. It’s sticking something in your dick to see how far you can do it.
A U.K. teen had to undergo emergency surgery after a bananas attempt to measure his manhood resulted in him getting a USB cable lodged in his urethra.
The phallic fiasco reportedly began after an unnamed 15-year-old boy was “triggered by sexual curiosity” and inserted a USB wire into his urethra, per a wince-worthy study published in the medical journal Urology Case Reports.
The sexperiment backfired when the cable became lodged in the curious teen’s scrotum like an electronic catheter. Despite attempts to extract it himself, the USB cord became tangled so terribly that both ends were left hanging out of his wired willy.
Play with it, use it to pee and the other stuff it was made for, but don’t stick anything in it. It is your best personal friend for men and a play toy for females.
Crap, I Use Duolingo Too

I’ve been known to do this. I hope Pavlov just affects dogs.
Guy Stuff, Why We Aim When We Pee

If it can be aimed at, we give it a go. Piscuits are low hanging fruit. A moving bug is much more challenging. It also guarantee’s a mess, but we take the shot anyway. We also play peeing for distance and other childish games.
I’m sure girls think we are silly, but when a group of them were asked what they’d do if they had a dick, they said aim it when they piss. (guys said they’d feel their boobs if they had them and shoot milk at each other like a squirt gun, still a dick thing).
When there is a stain on the bowl, we won’t clean it if we can knock it off with a stream. Yes, we write whatever we can on the sidewalk and in the snow. The ones that say they don’t are lying, but a few do need their man card revoked. We don’t even have to be taught this trick. It’s instinctive to try it.
Why do we do it? Because we can. Sure, our equipment isn’t as pretty as females, but it is useful and a built in play toy. Why do you think we hold on to it so much?
Best of all, the whole world is our urinal if needed.

I even broke up with a girlfriend who got mad at me when I had to take a leak by the side of the road because she was worried what people would think of her. They wouldn’t ever look at her for laughing at me. I knew she wasn’t a keeper at that point. Every thing was a joke to me and she couldn’t take a joke. The woman I married knew how immature I can be and ignores it most of the time.
This Is Going To Put a Dent in The Nathan’s July 4th Hot Dog Eating Contest
More specifically, researchers found that consuming one 85-gram serving of chicken wings translated to 3.3 minutes of life lost, owing to sodium and harmful trans fatty acids, while a beef hot dog on a bun resulted in some 36 minutes lost “largely due to the detrimental effect of processed meat,” study authors wrote.
Joey Chestnut is about dead. He knocked back 75 dogs this year to win the contest. He looks pretty healthy to me. Badlands Booker on the other hand better prepare his will.
The good news is that a PB&J sandwich adds 33 minutes to your life. I’m going to be about 3000 years old given that I’ve lived on it for 5 or more decades.
Sound Sleeping, I Want To Know This Guys Secret

A severe headache? Seriously, has anyone heard the sound a gun makes when fired?
Guys in the morning

There are times I can pee on 3 things at once and not one of them is in the bowl. Every guy has done it. Forget it if you have morning wood, that’s God’s joke on you.
More On Pets, The Best Alarm Clock (Not What You Think,,,,,, yet)

My, How Phone Booth’s Have Changed
I used to read the paper there. Now I read the phone. I still say I have to go read the sports page to be nice about dropping a deuce.
Don’t forget that if by chance you use the talking to another person feature on your phone, that you can be heard making bodily noises, or at least the echo that everyone recognizes.

And You Think Your Job Sucks and No, I Couldn’t Keep a Straight Face
More Gorilla Glue Products and Eff-Ups
Viagra Side Effects
Another Vegetarian Quandary
Why Storm Troopers Can’t Shoot Strait Or Hit Anything – Men’s Edition

If you bother watching them in the movies, the are just target practice for the Rebels. These guys can’t hit a wall in front of them.
You kill one when you shoot a Storm Trooper, yet it’s ever only a wound when they shoot someone. Maybe they had vasectomies?
Anyway, this is me in the morning a lot of days. I think I’ve bulls eyed the bowl and I’ve pissed on who knows what.
Sophomoric Humor For The Day, Wheel Of Fortune Style
Victoria’s Secret, A 2021 Tragedy
I’m like Jeff Foxworthy. I grew up getting the Sears catalog in the mail. Those were the only girls in underwear you would see, until Victoria’s Secret gave us the catalog of dreams.
They put beautiful women in underwear for men and women to admire. Good art in any form is beautiful (the Sears models reminded Jeff of the lunch lady at the school cafeteria). It’s why there are so many naked statues. It was the concept of art to an artist. That they lasted longer than a catalog has so far so that also says something.
Now this (here is the tragedy):

Here is the reaction so far:
Victoria’s Secret has chosen going full woke over earning a profit, succumbing to the hypersensitivities on the left to embark on a major rebranding.
Even the standard size 32B mannequins on display in their stores didn’t make the cut, as the forms representing the female figure will now come in new shapes and sizes.
The paper said the company has been “scrutinized heavily in recent years for its owner’s relationship with the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein and revelations about a misogynistic corporate culture that trafficked in sexism, sizeism and ageism.”
OK, back to my observation.
I’m not sure what is more stupid. Is it the marketing decision to lose this much money, goodwill and customers or to think that most people wanted to look or what make it hugely successful. Do they think that this is more beautiful than Giselle Bünchen in angel wings?
I’m sure there is a small portion of the population who identifies with this and good for them. The problem is it is ruining the beauty that was the draw for the other 98%.
I know this type of display is inclusive or is progressive or something politically correct in the eyes of the PC and SJW police, but I (and see below or read the article above for how many others) still think they are ruining a good thing.
All of this has come together to ruin another concept that has been around since whenever man showed up, women are beautiful. Both males and females think that the fairer sex is a work of beauty. For example, everyone thinks a naked woman is something beautiful to look at. I’m willing to bet that there are a lot more people (even females in beards) that find them better to look at than most men naked. There aren’t that many Chip n Dales guys just walking around. And let’s face it. Other than a few people who can ruin anything by being mean and nasty, almost all women are beautiful in their own way.
If there are 330 million people in the US (a low guess) and throw out the old and the young, you would still have a few hundred million just in the USA who liked the older style catalog and their models a lot more. VS is big all over the world so even the PC people like to look at the real catalog, not the travesty that is this year’s.
I don’t care how many likes they got in social media. Most people go along with the crowd in public and social media is a bunch of pretend anyway.
Get woke go broke they say. I doubt it for VS, but it hasn’t helped the bottom lines of Nickelodeon Channel, Gillette, Coke, the NBA, MLB, NFL and other companies.
It looks like I’m not alone. I’ll put up some links that have something to do with it in whatever way that is interesting.
The Earl of Taint – I wish them luck
Kim Kardashian’s Toilet
How Many Times Have I Wanted One Of These
The Gender Neutral Bathroom We’ve Had For Ages
Sarcasm Saturday, See If You Get It
Fashion, From the Same People Who Thought A Man Bun Looked Good

My daughter had a simple nose piercing before she joined the real world. One day while teaching Sunday School, one of the toddlers asked her why she had a booger on her nose (it was a small diamond). Kids tell the truth. It didn’t look good, but what can a Dad tell a teenage daughter? You guessed it, nothing.
I talked to Doctors who told me this is a petri dish for bacteria. What happens in allergy season when your nose is constantly running? It is disgusting to think about.
Finally, I’m not in the dating pool. If I was, this would be on the list of red flags that would tip me off to not everything is going well upstairs. I don’t care what others do to their bodies as long as it doesn’t affect me. It doesn’t mean that I think it looks good or makes anyone more appealing. That affects me.
I try to protect myself from crazy people. Piercing your nose doesn’t make you crazy. It does give a hint that maybe not everything is working well in the decision part of the brain though.
Caveat: I have readers from countries that this is a tradition and perhaps a religious symbol. I get that it is a part of your life. However, are they are getting it done because they have to or are supposed to. I wonder who would do it if the mental pressure to do so wasn’t there?
I still ask myself how does one think that makes them look better? I move along and say nothing, but so far it hasn’t improved anyone’s appearance that I can tell.
Remember belly button piercings? No one is running out to get those anymore either.
Whatever blows wind up your skirt, Oink.
Vegans Arguing, Is It a Beef?

I know someone who just went vegan and sure enough, I get to hear all about it. I don’t really care what anyone eats other than me so I’ll skip any vegan jokes here. You don’t have to tell everyone you see that you are vegan. We’ll see it soon enough anyway, or smell it.
I drew the line at asparagus for breakfast though. No, just no.
Jobs I’d Never Want – Rectal Thermometer Tester

We Are Surrounded By Idiots

Those who have been stupid enough to use Gorilla Glue on themselves need to be made fun of. They have the Darwin awards, but these losers couldn’t even kill themselves right.
Unfortunately this generation will be making decisions for us in 20 years I fear.
Usually, a generation is in fear of the next but so far those fears have been unfounded. We now have proof that the next generation are in fact idiots.
Coming To Your Neighborhood Soon, China Covid Testing

First tested in China for our benefit.
Post’s You Can Feel Through The Screen

Ouch.
Waiter, There Is A Fly In My…..Nevermind

Thanksgiving Humor (that’s kinda gross)

2020 In An Image

Friday Humor – The County Fair

Mask Follies – When Covid Kids Go Back To School (Humor)
Local school board is deciding whether or not to make kids wear masks at school. Here is what will happen.
Here’s how I think requiring masks might work in elementary.
Please don’t snap Billy’s mask in his face.
Your mask is not a necklace, bracelet, or any other form of jewelry.
You should not be using your mask as a slingshot. Please put it back on your face.
Please do not chew on your mask.
Your mask should be on your face, not on the back of your head
I’m sorry your mask is wet, but that’s what happens when you lick the inside of it.
I’m sorry you sneezed. Here’s a tissue. Wipe out the snot as well as you can.
No, you may not blow your nose in your mask.
Why is your mask soaking wet? You just came back from the bathroom?
And you put it back on your face after you dropped it?
I’m sorry you broke the elastic on your mask by seeing how far the band would stretch. Now you’ll have to hold the mask on your face … or use this duct tape.
Please take the mask off your eyes and watch where you’re walking. I don’t care if you have X-ray vision.
Please take the mask off of your pencil and stop twirling it.
I know the mask fits over your pants like a knee pad, but please take it off of your leg and put it on your face.
What do you mean you tried to eat your lunch through your mask?
Please don’t share your mask or trade masks. I don’t care if you like Ingrid’s mask better than yours.
I’m sorry, but your mask is not school appropriate.
We’re not comparing our masks to other kids’ masks… everyone’s mask is unique and special.
No, you may not decorate your mask instead of doing your work. I don’t care if you have a Sharpie.
You’re not a pirate, please take your mask off your eye.
Try to get the gum off as much as you can.
Please don’t use your mask to pick your nose.
I’m sorry you tripped, but that’s what happens when you put your feet inside the elastic of your mask.
No, your mask doesn’t make it hard to get your work done.
Your Mom will need to get you a new mask since you chewed a hole in that one.
Why is there a shoe print on your mask?
No, you cannot eat the snow through your mask.
I don’t care if you were in art class and being creative; we do not decorate our masks.
We do not beam other kids in the face with balls. No, their masks don’t make it not hurt.
Please don’t plug your nose holes with your mask.
Who’s making that noise?
I’m sorry your ponytail is stuck, that’s what happens when you see how many times you can wrap it around your mask.
I’m sorry to tell you, but your child thought her mask made her a superhero. She tried to fly off the jungle gym at recess …
I’m sorry your breath stinks in your mask, maybe we should all try to brush better.
Please take those cookies out of your mask. No, you are not a chipmunk.
All The National Lampoon Covers
Actual Maps of Where The #Shitholes Are – An A-Polititical Post On Where They Exist
First, I am not going to weigh in on what a world leader has said. Every time I have ever tried it, nothing is gained as everyone has their own opinion and trying to sway it is not what I care about. Enjoy your center, left, right or whatever political position you wish.
I was looking for whether this actually exists. Here is what I’ve found.
UPDATE: Portland is the newest shit hole. Click on the link: Portland: American epicenter of degeneracy, depression, and ANTIFA.
Here is a link and a screenshot of a map from the Rice Institute based showing countries with the most open defecation.
Forbes published a list of the world’s dirtiest cities. Without passing judgement, they seem to line up with the shitholes in the map so the facts seem to be in order.
Next, is it possible that the United States has places where there is open defecation? I found that map also.
Below is the link and screenshot also, but in case you don’t recognize it, this is San Francisco.
Now, after reading this, one can add it to their travel plans to go and help, or avoid for sanitary purposes, you choose. If you go to San Francisco, zoom in and you can see where to not step in a pile of poop. As I type that, I realize that it is sad for what is supposed to be one of the leading cities of the US, and one so close to silicon valley.
It also gives everyone equal political fodder to take shots at whomever. In these days of political partisanship, nothing or nobody is safe by the 3rd or 4th comment, so I expect the same.
I just got curious and I wondered if what was said was true or not. Apparently it is.

Here is the link to the recent study of sanitation including feces, used syringes and other disease carrying trash in the heart of San Francisco. It’s a shame since it is in the heart of the restaurant and hotel area. You’d think that the tourism officials would do something about this, but looking at the graph indicates the problem escalating.
UPDATE: San Francisco is getting over 80 calls a day to report human feces for clean up. In the same report were almost as many instances of needles despite the fact that there are safe injection spaces for shooting up an illegal drug that destroys lives.
UPDATE: It turns out that Denver is now officially classified as a shithole also. They passed an act that you can drop trou and pinch a loaf right on the street. Here is the story and the reason why they passed the law.
UPDATE: It looks like Hawaii isn’t as pristine as one thinks of it. The cesspools and the water around the islands are contaminated enough to make it a shithole also. There is a link within this link that goes to the WSJ.
Video Update: A large portion of Orange county is now a 3rd world shithole also.
After all is said and done, I thought that having to have a map to not step in a pile of human feces makes a city the biggest shithole. It turns out that I was wrong.
According to the Government services including the EPA, ACS and the Census bureau comes this little gem:
The City that Never Sleeps ranked the highest in three out of five categories, placing it as shittest-city-in-the-nation of 427.9 on Busy Bee’s “dirtiness index.” The next closest competitor for all the wrong reasons is Los Angeles, which has a dirtiness index of 317.8. To complete the top five list, the remaining dirtiest cities are Chicago, Philadelphia, and San Francisco.
So not only do you have to pay way more more to live in these places, they have worse air, bigger rats and more cockroaches, they turn out to be the shitholes that we all thought they were. Why anyone would choose to live there knowing there?
How Much Weight Can You Lose by Taking a Dump? Can You Weigh Farts? Everything You Wanted To Know About Your PooP
UPDATE: The 7 Reasons Farting is Good For You
Dropping a deuce, pinching a loaf, laying pipe, reading the sports page, seeing a man about a horse, all are names for the same thing.
But how much does it weigh? Can you lose weight by taking laxatives or giving birth to a legend size turn monster? How much does a fart weigh? Do women fart as much as men? Let’s look into it.
How much your poop weighs
According to thrill list health:
To find out how much our stool adds to the scale, researchers (serious poop
researchers do exist, folks) collected samples from people living in 12
different countries to get a comprehensive overview.
They discovered that poop weighs between 2.5oz and 1lb, on average.
To find out how much our stool adds to the scale, researchers (serious poop
researchers do exist, folks) collected samples from people living in 12
different countries to get a comprehensive overview.
Have you ever weighed yourself before and then after taking a dump?
Of course you have! Who hasn’t? The best part is seeing the scale budge
in your favor after dropping the kids off at the pool.
So it stands to reason that if you could poop more, you’d lose weight, right?
Same for farting — gas has mass, after all. Could pooping and farting
be legit weight-loss secrets, or is it all just a lot of hot air?
Unsurprisingly, Westernized populations have the lowest poop weights,
thanks to a severe lack of fiber that comes with a fast-food diet. Western
samples only averaged between 3-4oz, which isn’t nearly enough to
make a difference in your skinny jeans.
How much do farts weigh? And how do you even weigh farts?
Very, very carefully. Gastroenterologists in England tried to determine
a fart’s weight by giving study participants 200g of baked beans in
addition to their normal diet. Even scientists know beans are a magical
fruit. To measure the toots these beans are known for, they used rectal
catheters over the course of 24 hours, which raises serious concerns
about the mental stability of the participants.
Despite the method, the data collected may surprise you more.
Scientists learned that the farts weighed between 16-50oz per day.
That’s right: You’re holding as much gas in your system as a small
Sweetums soda. And in case you’re wondering (you’re obviously
wondering), “Women and men expelled equivalent amounts,”
according to science. That’s right. Your sweet little cupcake is
cutting the cheese and stinking up the room just as much as you are.
Pooping to lose weight is actually a really bad idea
Of course, there are those out there who see “poop can weigh a pound”
and will try to up their poop game by taking laxatives. Bad idea.
Robert Herbst, an 18-time world-champion powerlifter and one of
the drug-testing supervisors at the Rio Olympics, says laxative-driven
weight loss happens even at the highest levels of sport, and it isn’t pretty.
Herbst confirms that dropping a deuce will in fact budge the number
on the scale, though it won’t alter your body composition or muscle
percentage, saying, “One pound in does not guarantee one [pound] out,”
because food is metabolized differently. Certain foods are absorbed
more efficiently, while others pass right through (looking at you, corn).
So while a pound of lettuce may work its way out to the porcelain
water slide, a pound of pie will most likely stick to your thighs.
Pooping isn’t a total elimination of all the calories you eat, since that
wouldn’t make any sense. Your body needs energy, so it’s not going
to shit it all out.
On top of that, Herbst’s experience monitoring weigh-ins taught
him that no one’s going to see Biggest Loser-type results. He says
you may see a 5lb drop (if that), depending on how much you currently
weigh. If you’re a big dude, you’re going to expel more in weight and
volume because you’re already eating more.
The majority of people will only be able to look forward to a mere
1-2lb difference (at most) if you’re an active person. Those losses
aren’t worth canceling your gym membership, and in extreme
cases, excessive laxative use can lead to all sorts of nasty medical complications.
What About Competitive Eaters?
I watch the July 4th Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest yearly. Joey Chestnut
knocked down 70 dogs in 10 minutes. I’m not sure how much that
weighs, but given the average Joe spits out almost 2 pounds after a
few dogs at most, does that mean that Joey is somewhere between a
Saint Bernard and an elephant the day after the contest?
I found this gem THE 8 TYPES OF POOP YOU SHOULD NEVER
IGNORE because it means you have a problem
What Does Your Poop Say About You?
I found this gem at did you know your facts?

And finally, go to this link to evaluate your poop and pooping habits because you should examine your deuce to see if you are unhealthy or have a problem.
Gross and Icky Stuff You Still Will Read About Like Snot and Poop Color, and Do You Eat Boogers?
Why snot is green or yellow, or other color. Click to read more.
Mucus is clear when you’re healthy and have no serious invaders. However, when bacteria or viruses attack, it will turn yellow or green due to the influx of iron-containing enzymes including myeloperoxidases, other oxidases and peroxidases. These enzymes are used by white blood cells, namely polymorphonuclear granulocytes, to help ingest and deactivate bacteria through an oxidative process. The combination of dead white blood cells, used up enzymes and eaten bacteria, all of which still contain a fair amount of iron, results in the green or yellow color.
Notably, the longer snot stays in your sinuses, the greener it will get.
Is eating boogers healthy for you? Click to read.
That said, while it may seem gross to those of us who’ve never tried (or don’t remember- nearly all children do this at one point or another), according to the sparse few studies that have been conducted on booger eaters, the vast number of people who eat their nasal mucus find it palatable, which probably isn’t a surprise to anyone as if they didn’t, they’d likely just stop. As SidneyTarachow in a 1966 report oncoprophagia (the compulsive eating bodily secretions) noted, “persons do eat nasal debris, and find it tasty, too!”
So to sum up, at least to date, there is no scientific proof that ingesting snot by passing it through your mouth is beneficial. That said, it is plausible that the snot we do all ingest all the time is benefiting us in the way snot-eating proponents suggest. It’s just that we don’t need to put it into our mouths to see the benefit, if such a benefit does exist as hypothesized.
In the end, though, as long as you’re careful, picking and eating is not generally going to hurt you, and many find it tasty… so, if that’s your thing, bon appétit!
Why is poop brown? Click to read more.
Poop is brown due to bile from your gall bladder being metabolized by the bacteria in your intestines. This results in a byproduct called stercobilin, which, in turn, makes poop look brown-ish.
Without this stercobilin, your poop would typically look grey-ish/white. Because of this, a sure sign you are having problems with bile production, such as a blocked bile duct by a gall stone or something more serious like pancreatic cancer, is if you notice your poop is this white/grey-ish color.
In the end *pun intended*, brown poop is a pretty good sign you are a relatively healthy individual. Some other common poop colors that generally aren’t a good sign of health are as follows:
- If you notice your poop is red, this could be a sign of internal bleeding or could just mean you’ve recently eaten beets. If the cause is bleeding and the bleeding is from your stomach or throat, however, your poop won’t be red, but rather black and will smell worse than that time you decided you should eat a box of Twinkies and a box of Cheesy Handi-Snacks all in one sitting.
- Yellow poop means there is a lot of fat in your feces. This is not a good sign. Consider turning this into a positive by making poop candles with your fatty deposits. Yellow poop also has a very strong odor, which will give your poo-candles that little something extra.
- Green poop is an indicator of some sort of bacterial infection or that you are a vegetarian and eat way too much leafy foods for your own good. Seriously, try some bacon. It’s delicious.
Bonus Facts:
- When you see corn in your poop, this isn’t the whole kernel, though it may look like it. What you are actually seeing is the outer yellow part, which is mostly cellulose and indigestible (fiber). The inside of the kernel will have been digested as it is primarily starch.
- Poop generally stinks because of the sulfur-rich organic compounds produced by bacteria, such as indole, skatole, and mercaptans. Another contributing factor is an inorganic gas that is produced, hydrogen sulfide.
- Poop of meat eaters smells worse than the poop of vegetarians. You win this round, hippie.
- Bird poop is white due to their kidney’s extracting nitrogenous wastes from their bloodstream and subsequently excreting it in the form of uric acid, which has a very low solubility in water and emerges as a white paste-like substance.
- Animals such as dogs, rabbits, rodents, gorillas, etc often eat their poop to maintain proper health. For animals such as rabbits who eat a lot of plants, their poop contains quite a bit of undigested plant matter; so eating their poop is a nice easy way to get more out of the food they eat. For some animals, their poop can be very vitamin rich with the bacteria in their intestines producing vitamins they wouldn’t get otherwise. For animals such as dogs, poop can be a good source of these vitamins and protein. This is why dogs are so fond of cat poop; it is very high in protein. Pro-tip, cut down on how much you need to clean your cat litter by allowing dogs and vegetarians access to it. The dogs/vegetarians get a lot of protein (in the latter case something they are deprived of due to their hippie ways) and you never have to clean poop from the liter; it’s win/win.
- The word “poop” comes from the onomatopoeia poupen or popen, which originally meant “fart”. “Poop” came into its current meaning around 1900.
- You can tell an amazing amount of information about a person based on their poop. Extraterrestrial enthusiasts theorize this is why when Aliens abduct humans they go straight to anal probing.
- In South Asia and South-east Asia, it is common to find showers in the toilet room for cleansing one’s self after pooping.
- With Islam, post-pooping requires a ritual cleansing. One should enter the toilet room with the left foot first; ritually cleanse your butt-hole with water using your left hand; then step out of the toilet room with your right foot first. As an aside, in many Muslim countries, toilet rooms are considered “Houses of Satan”.
- In India, rather than use toilet paper, it is typical to simply use your left hand.
- If you think that is bad, in Ancient Rome, a wet sponge on a stick was used. That sounds all well and fine until you find out that that after being used, the sponge was placed back in a tub of salt water to await the next person to come along and wipe with it. Suddenly the “left hand” method isn’t sounding so bad.
- About 3/4 of an average piece of poop is made of water. Of the remaining 1/4, about 1/3 of it is dead bacteria from your intestines; another 1/3 is fibrous matter; the remaining amount is made up of fats, phosphates, living bacteria, dead cells, mucus, protein, etc.
There of course are many links in these pages that lead to other gross stuff. Enjoy.
Grocery shopping observations and comedy
I’ll state up front that Dave Barry should have written this, because I just can’t do it proper justice, but here goes.
I love going to the grocery store, not just because I get to buy stuff to eat, but it’s a people show extraordinaire. I pretty much hate shopping, it’s go get what I need and get out like most real guys. But the grocery store is different.
I first noticed that I liked going back when I lived in South Florida, where I spent most of my single years. People would get dolled up to go to the mall, out to dinner, the movies, anywhere. But ask them to go to the store and they’ll put anything on, anytime of day. I’ve seen some cuties that looked like death warmed over picking up something to eat. There was of course, some making the walk of shame picking up eats or coffee on the way home early in the morning.
Since it was South Florida, there were a few phenomenons. If you went to the store by the beach, people would shop in their bathing suits. Being a normal single male (walking hormone) at that time of my life, this made for quite a bit of entertainment. I’ll make only passing comments here about liking the frozen aisle.
The other phenomena there is that there were a lot of old retired cranky people, mostly moved down from New York which made for endless shopping entertainment. Where I lived in Delray Beach, they used to bus them in from the retirement villages, either Kings Point or Century Village, affectionally known as cemetery village. They’d hit the Publix en mass and raise the level of complaining to new highs. I varied between going to see this almost like going to a sporting event, and avoiding it because it could really grind on you. These folks could spend 30 minutes complaining to the manager about a 5 cent increase in the price of anything. If there was an advertised special, they moved faster to get there than the rest of the year, except maybe to the bathroom after prune breaks. Hitting each other with their shopping carts was hilarious until it happened to me. I politely informed the person that if they did it again, they’d wind up in the meat section.
You can tell pretty much the state of life they are in by what’s in their cart. The college kids usually had health food like cheez-its for breakfast, a frozen pizza and a case or two of beer, real cheap beer like old Milwaukee, Busch, Pabst or Schlitz when it was available. Young couples would have 40 cans of baby food and diapers. Middle age had progressively healthier food, the elderly’s had prune juice and polident.
The time of day that you shopped will vary the crowd also. The moms running households dominate the morning, Working moms and dads are on Saturday mornings. The folks picking up something for dinner after work are regulars from 5-7 PM. Anywhere from 10 PM on, especially are the partiers. Anyone after 10 in the twinkie aisle had the munchies.
Who don’t you want to see at the grocery store? Anyone you know usually, especially someone from work. Unless you’re already lunch buddies, the level of uncomfortableness increases dramatically with how far away they are from your cube. What’s really embarrassing is someone you know and forgot their name. People duck down the quickest escape route to avoid conversation like there was a nerve gas explosion for this one. I find it especially rewarding to see someone I know who looks like death warmed over at the store, but they spend extra time to be dolled up at work. I’ll always make it a point to say hello, even when I wouldn’t want to talk. One person whose name I’ll not mention does have her hair always perfect, I can’t figure this out. My son’s kindergarten teacher told us at orientation that seeing someone at the store was her least favorite place to see a parent as she would have to run down the kid’s behavior.
Back to South Florida, seeing someone you work with in a bathing suit at the store was like a touchdown and an extra point for me. Invariably, they acted like they were naked in public for which I got endless pleasure.
It’s a lot different now that I live in North Carolina and am married and running a household. It’s a contest to see if you can hit double or triple coupon day to see how much you can save. The old people are different here also. I heard the other day, “please get in front of me, you have a baby and I’m not in that big a hurry”.
Also, as I’ve mentioned, I have a dog, and we have to pick up the output when we take her for a walk. Only plastic (not paper) works for that. Since she goes for a walk about 20 times a day, we need a big supply of bags. So its always a struggle to get as many bags as possible for this while the store tries to cram every item you buy into as few as possible.
And about me, think I care what I look like? Think again. I’ll put on jeans and a hat and it’s off to funland, hunting for co-workers. Too bad we live inland now.





























