- The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity
- If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live
- Deja moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
- Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill. Check three
friends. If they’re OK, you’re it.
- Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
- A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
- It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
- The trouble with doing something right the first time is that
nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
- Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where
you left them to where you can’t find them.