Alternate Meanings of Words. A Different Way of Thinking About Definitions

  1. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
  2. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
  3. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
  4. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
  5. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
  6. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
  7. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
  8. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
  9. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
  10. Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
  11. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
  12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor
  13. assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
  14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
  15. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of your boxer shorts.
  16. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
  17. Pokemon (n.), a Jamaican proctologist.

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