Tag: sarcasm

One Of My Fears, Having To Take A Dump On A Public Toilet

This happened on 10/11.

The best man at my wedding George has the best sphincter control of anybody I’ve known. He drove across the United Stated (horizontally) and didn’t unload the whole way. He also made me paranoid about having to drop a deuce on a public toilet.

I’m a germaphobe to begin with. I don’t trust a hotel room, knowing what I’ve done in them and listening to other peoples stories also. When George was a motel manager, he’d wait until the maid cleaned the rooms and put a clean paper ribbon over the toilet seat. He took the master key and slid off the ribbon, took a shit and then put it back on.

So I’m in the gym today. It’s bad enough already as you are trying to work out and I live in a college town. That means the girls come in to work out in the fuck me shorts all decked out in nips and lips, prancing about. They show off the goods and preen in front of the mirror wearing a ponytail holder on their wrist. God forbid if one of the guys looks, then the whole gym creep thing comes out. I won’t stare because that is what they want. One girl came by this day in the see through lime green sherbet outfit 2 sizes too small and I had to do a double take to see if she was black or white. She’d spent so much time on the tanning bed she could have been either, but that makes her white. Please.

The opposite is also true. There are some that need to be at the gym because they need to lose weight and get in shape. I applaud them for doing something about it, but I am trying not to look at them either. It’s because they are trying to wear the same thing the hot girls wear and it’s not working for covering that much mass. I looked up and almost had my face in a cottage cheese barrel.

It used to be that the gym was just guys in sweat clothes would be there. Then, Jane Fonda let in all the girls and taught them take more and more off. At first,the A/C would make it nippy, but now they wearing body paint skin suits that don’t cover a thing. You know by looking whether you are ordering a #3 roast beef combo or a peach fuzz smoothy without trying. They then proceed to push their cookie up in the air like they were doing upside down doggie and we have to act like we don’t notice. They entice you to look and then get mad if you do.

Anyway, why I wrote this.

I was doing legs today. I work out in the afternoon when the traffic is light so you don’t have to wait for a machine you want to use. I do all my sports page reading business first thing in the morning so it never crossed my mind that I’d have to take a dump. It never happens past mid-morning. I felt a rumbling in my stomach and thought it couldn’t be. I was hoping for a fart and it would pass.

So I’m listening to music during hamstring curls thinking that I could move around some air and the crisis would pass. Wouldn’t you know that the song that played was Should I stay or should I go by the Clash.

I’m in a complete dilemma now as I’d just gotten there and didn’t want to leave, but the feeling wouldn’t go away. I let it go one too many leg curls until I knew I was in trouble.

Having to go on a public toilet is as much a torture thought for me as dropping the soap in the shower in jail. I didn’t have time to be able leave to find the most expensive store nearby as they usually have the cleanest bathrooms according to George.

I realized it was going to happen and I couldn’t stop it. The train was leaving the station. I grabbed the disinfecting wipes for the gym equipment and made my way to the locker room. I’m in there 4 times a week and every time I see legs in the stall with some guy laying rope. I think how disgusting that is using a public can. A bunch of sweaty MF all shitting on the same toilet. I don’t know how girls do it.

I usually go for the cripple stool as is it is less used than the regular stall. It was out of order, so I have to go on one that has been destroyed since midnight as this is a 24 hour gym.

Well, I scrubbed down the seat, then papered it like the second coming of the Mummy and all hell broke loose. You’d think I’d taken the colonoscopy medicine.

I don’t even like going on a can that others use at home and have my own bathroom I call home base. It has a bidet built in so that if I don’t get a clean break, I can get the old Japanese wash and blow dry from my seat.

My fear at the gym was that I’d have to use the whisper thin paper that doubles as a cheese grader that this was going to happen.

I didn’t even run out of toilet paper during Covid because I use the bidet seat so my bung hole has gone back to virginity. TP wiping is something I don’t do anymore.

There was someone in the bathrooms while this was going on, but I didn’t care as your rarely see the same people. It turned out to be Fred the maintenance man. Fred is there every time I’m at the gym. He is kind of like a rain man about cleaning and walked in as soon as I walked out. It was a WWIII destruction zone and I’m going to see Fred again the next time I’m there. I’ll bet he wishes he wasn’t there.

It was a terrible experience, having to open the Bombay doors somewhere other than on home base. I came home and showered, but felt violated that I had to sacrifice my standards because my stomach wouldn’t give me fair warning before I left.

Billionaire Investor On Columbia University -These Kids Have Sh*t For Brains

Billionaire Leon Cooperman pulling Columbia funding amid student protests: These kids have ‘sh– for brains’

Columbia University graduate, billionaire investor and Omega Advisors CEO Leon Cooperman had harsh words for Ivy League students who are sharing anti-Israel sentiment on campus.

“These kids at the colleges have sh– for brains,” Cooperman told “The Claman Countdown” host Liz Claman on Wednesday. “We have one reliable ally in the Middle East. That’s Israel. We only have one democracy in the Middle East. That’s Israel. And we have one economy tolerant of different people, gays, lesbians, etc. That’s Israel. So they have no idea what these young kids are doing.”

“Now, the real shame is, I’ve given to Columbia probably about $50 million over many years,” he continued. “And I’m going to suspend my giving. I’ll give my giving to other organizations.”

Cooperman doubled down on his stance to no longer donate to the Ivy League school, expressing his disgust over staff members who refuse to condemn terrorist acts.

FAFO Chronicles, Robbing A Gun Store With A Hammer

A masked thug made the fatal mistake of trying to steal a firearm from a gun store while armed with a hammer.

The incident took place at a gun store in Livermore, California, on Sunday, police said.

It will be no surprise to regular Slay News readers that the gun store owner knew his Second Amendment rights and was ready a willing to exercise them.

Unfortunately, there are no prizes for guessing that it didn’t end well for the would-be robber.

Obviously, when the crook pulled a hammer on the store owner, he was shot dead.

Police said their investigation revealed that a 28-year-old man from Redwood City entered East Bay Firearms in the 4000 block of First Street around 2:30 p.m.

The burglar was wearing a mask, gloves, and a hooded sweatshirt pulled over his head.

He was reportedly “acting suspicious.”

Witnesses told police that the crook then tried to rob the gun store by taking a firearm while armed with a hammer.

The gun store owner responded by firing two rounds, fatally wounding the man, police said.

Police arrived at the scene to find the man suffering from a gunshot.

Along with paramedics, they performed lifesaving measures.

However, the man was pronounced dead at the scene.

GRTWT

FAFO Chronicles, Israel Hater Loses Law Job

Hating and working don’t go together. Other red flags were the they/them pronouns. Good job by Winston saving a headache in the future on this one. I’ll bet it was a high paying success guaranteed job she threw away by taking shots at the Jews.

Law Firm Rescinds Job Offer to NYU Law Student After She Claims Support for Hamas

“Winston stands in solidarity with Israel’s right to exist in peace and condemns Hamas and the violence and destruction it has ignited in the strongest terms possible”

Posted by Mike LaChance Wednesday, October 11, 2023 at 08:00am12 Comments

https://youtu.be/GxqR6p8r6z0

A law student at NYU has lost a job offer due to her outspoken support for Hamas following the attacks in Israel. I hope we see more of this. Most people do not realize how radicalized our campuses have become.

Reuters reports:

Anti-Israel comments prompt Winston & Strawn to rescind NYU law student’s job offer

Law firm Winston & Strawn said on Tuesday that it had rescinded a job offer to a New York University law student who wrote in a student bar association online publication that “Israel bears full responsibility” for Hamas’ deadly attack in Israel.

The firm did not name the student, who it called a former summer associate. But a Monday online newsletter from the NYU Student Bar Association includes a message from SBA president Ryna Workman blaming Israel for the violence.

Workman, who uses the pronouns they/them online and whose now-deleted LinkedIn account previously listed them as a summer associate at Winston & Strawn, did not immediately respond to requests for comment Tuesday.

In a statement, the firm said the former summer associate’s comments “profoundly conflict with Winston & Strawn’s values as a firm.”

“Winston stands in solidarity with Israel’s right to exist in peace and condemns Hamas and the violence and destruction it has ignited in the strongest terms possible,” it said.

Story here

Loser

Cheapening The Nobel Prize Again

The Nobel Peace Prize is being weaponized to promote one of the greatest vaccine failures of our time and one of the most injurious and deadliest medical experiments to ever be forced onto the global population. The 2023 Nobel Prize in Medicine was recently awarded to two of the scientists who helped develop the mRNA technology behind the COVID “vaccines.”

The once-sacred award ceremony left out other scientists who also played a critical role in the development of the mRNA platform. The most notable omission was Dr. Robert Malone, who has been a vocal critic of the so-called COVID vaccine. Malone has stood up for the vaccine injured and repeatedly provided real-world data documenting the serious and life-threatening risks associated with the jab.

The future of mRNA’s many lucrative applications hang in the balance

On Monday, October 2, 2023, the Karolinska Institute in Sweden awarded the 2023 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine to Katalin Karikó and Drew Weissman – two of the scientists who helped discover nucleoside base modifications that enabled the development of the mRNA vaccine technology. The scientists were congratulated by the Director of the World Health Organization – General Tedros Ghebreyesus. The corrupt WHO director described their mRNA technology as “safe and effective vaccines.” This worn-out proclamation is far removed from reality and goes against an overwhelming body of evidence that suggests the opposite.

In the United States alone, the imperfect Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) recorded tens of thousands of deaths and over 2 million serious adverse reactions from the Pfizer and Moderna mRNA shots. This flawed VAERS system relies heavily on the biased opinion of medical professionals who are not properly trained or do not have enough time to understand and validate their patients’ vaccine injuries. Because medical professionals are directly implicated in facilitating the injury, accurate reporting of vaccine injuries is something that doctors are incentivized to cover up, misdiagnose, and lie about. This is just one of the reasons why the CDC’s own studies show that the magnitude of vaccine injuries and deaths in the population are under-reported and may represent less than 1% of the actual injuries that occur.

Even so, VAERS has captured more vaccine injures for the COVID jab than all other vaccines combined since the program’s inception in 1986. The safety signals are there, but they are being ignored by some of the most powerful institutions in the world today.

GRTWT

FAFO Chronicles Again – Your Monday Harvard Report

The center for liberal indoctrination just shot itself in the foot. They stepped over the hate line one too many times. Again, parents wasted good money sending kids to this loser of a Unversity.

CEOs Vowing Not to Hire Harvard Students Who Signed Letter Blaming Israel for Hamas Attack

A dozen CEOs back Bill Ackman’s call to not hire Harvard students who blamed Israel for Hamas attack

At least a dozen business executives have endorsed Bill Ackman’s call to deny hiring members of student groups at Harvard who signed on to a letter blaming Israel for Hamas’ deadly attack on Saturday that killed more than 1,200 people, including at least 22 Americans.

Jonathan Newman, the CEO of salad chain Sweetgreen, was among a group of business honchos who seconded Ackman in urging that the signatories of the letter circulated by the a coalition of 34 Harvard student groups who “hold the Israeli regime entirely responsible for all unfolding violence.”

“I would like to know so I know never to hire these people,” Newman wrote in response to Ackman’s post on X on Tuesday.

“Same,” David Duel, CEO of healthcare services firm EasyHealth, wrote in response to Newman.

The backlash and possible blacklisting has led to a flurry of backpedaling by four of the initial student organizations attached to the inflammatory statement — while board members of other groups have quit to distance themselves.

Late Tuesday, 17 other Harvard groups joined around 500 faculty and staff and 3,000 others in signing a counter-statement attacking the other groups’ letter as “completely wrong and deeply offensive,” according to the campus paper, the Harvard Crimson.

A third letter from nearly 160 faculty members also ripped Harvard’s response to the scandal, writing that it “can be seen as nothing less than condoning the mass murder of civilians based only on their nationality.”

Fears that some of the nation’s brightest young minds had doomed their futures led former Harvard President Larry Summers to caution against singling out students who were “naive and foolish” about what they were signing.

Harvard loses a billionaire on their board

Israeli billionaire Idan Ofer quits Harvard’s board, blasting the school leadership’s response to students’ anti-Israel letter

An Israeli billionaire who is the 80th richest man in the world has quit Harvard’s executive board in protest of the school’s leaders’ response to the attacks by Hamas on Israel—the latest development in a fierce debate over the unfolding war that has roiled the university.

Israeli billionaire Idan Ofer and his wife Batia told CNN on Friday that their “faith in the University’s leadership has been broken” and that they “cannot in good faith continue to support Harvard and its committees.” The couple had sat on the executive board of Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government.

It’s the latest development at the Ivy League university, where many have criticized its response to a student statement from a pro-Palestine group that held Israel “entirely responsible for all unfolding violence.”

The letter, published by a number of pro-Palestine student groups called the Palestine Solidarity Committee, read: “Today, the Palestinian ordeal enters into uncharted territory. The coming days will require a firm stand against colonial retaliation. We call on the Harvard community to take action and to stop the ongoing annihilation of Palestinians.”

Your Wednesday Harvard Report

If Nobel prizes couldn’t get more ridiculous, Harvard and Gender Studies brings you this:

The Harvard professor Claudia Goldin has won the Nobel economics prize in recognition of her groundbreaking work examining wage inequality between men and women.

The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences said on Monday that Goldin’s research “provided the first comprehensive account of women’s earnings and labour market participation through the centuries” to reveal “the causes of change, as well as the main sources of the remaining gender gap”.

She becomes only the third woman to win the prize, after Elinor Ostrom in 2009 and Esther Duflo in 2019. The prestigious award is worth 11m Swedish kronor (£819,000).

Wage inequality is liberal speak for men are bad because they work hard to support their families. Females who don’t take time off to raise a family are earning the same. It is victimhood 101.

You can read the rest of the story here, but it is so stupid that I couldn’t be bothered to copy anymore. Both Harvard and the Nobel Committee continue to delve to new depths of meaninglessness. Both are a farce and have lost any creditability they once had. They gave Obama a Peace Prize before he’d done anything. He turned right around and bombed Libya, Afghanistan and drone killed a lot of people.

What’s The Prize When You Win An Italian Bike Race In On The Bologna Hilltop?

What else. How are you ever going to eat all of that?

Talk Like A Pirate Day

Well blow me down mateys, it be that time of year again!  This proud tradition started 27 years ago.  Don’t be a scurvy dog and forget to talk like a pirate, all day long!  In thewords of “Steve the Pirate” from the movie “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story”  –  “gar”.

Election Memes

The election farce is ramping up. Biden will let others do the work and Trump will be all over the place with big crowds. Romney is gone, so his back stabbing stench won’t be in the chamber any longer.

Sill, we have to go through it. I wonder how corrupt it’s going to be this time.

When Men Get Bored, You Get Stuff Like This

Give them some time alone to get bored, and they come up with this. I was checking out of the Garden shop at Lowes, and found this gem. I think they put the cardboard box on it to shelter it from sun/rain, but someone had too much time on their hands.

Little Boxes Made Of Ticky Tacky

Every house, same color, same height.

story

I’d nominate- Alys Beach. Nothing else looks like this.

Why? Because there are hard rules:

Big outdoor planters everywhere. Home either has a courtyard or is built around courtyards.

Window/shutter sizes, height, orientation all strictly aligned with each other

FAFO Chronicles

A shoplifter gets an ass whoopin’ instead of stealing jewelry. I love a happy ending. They shouldn’t have made it so easy to shop lift, even guys with man boobs think they can take what they want.

What It Was Like Working At IBM

I watched people when I worked there called the thinkers. They didn’t do anything or contribute, yet didn’t get penalized so we called them thinkers. It’s sarcasm of course, but there was a lot of dead weight.

There was also FUMU, fuck up move up. They’d promote you or move you to another group if you were trouble or made mistakes.

No matter how many layoffs they have, you can still get lost in the system and not work much while getting a paycheck. You can keep your job despite being incompetent.

The other thing is to brown nose in the office headquarters in New York. While there was considerable backstabbing there, you had an advantage over remote office employees. They were allowed an extra grade of incompetence for being inside the curtain of prejudice in the headquarters. The ratings at review time were better if you worked at the club.

They had some of the most brilliant people, there were others who made me question how they kept the doors open some days.

Unwritten Rules For Men

If you read how it’s harder to be a man than you thought (why trans men can’t pull it off), you know that life is harder for guys than we let on.

Hell, half the pressure is stuff we put on ourselves, but then so is half of the enjoyment of pulling it off.

(From the link above)

Men are in competition with each other. Men vie to express dominance, to establish their place in the pecking order.

If a man steps out of line, and assumes a place in the pecking order that is not agreed upon – this place being based upon established social agreements that no one can see, nor express in words – he is summarily dismissed.

If he still believes the territory, he has assumed, is rightfully his, he will endure all manner of insults and attacks, up to, and including, physical attacks

This begins for boys some time just after the toddler stage, and intensifies through the teen years, and early adulthood.

Men find this competition exhilarating, though it is also challenging, and often ends in shocking defeats. 

WE MAKE UP GAMES TO COMPETE, EVEN WITH OURSELVES.

See the meme above. One of the unwritten rules for guys is you have to (at least try) to get all the shopping bags in one trip.

Next, we can’t just throw away a wad of paper if there is a hoop to make. Back up and see how far you can be before you miss. Add difficulty by changing hands or twice in a row. Hell, I toss ice cubes that fell on the floor behind my back into the sink. Putting them there would be too easy, or conversely not enough of a challenge.

I told my son this one. You have to open the garage door as far as possible when driving up. You need to know the range in case of (imagined) attack, or whatever. Never can you wait in the driveway while the door is opening.

You have to park in the spot first time. To add difficulty, back in. The ultimate challenge is parallel parking uphill on the wrong side of the street while driving stick shift with people in your car to judge you. It has to be done the first try. (I’ve done it).

Then there are the bathroom rules.

Like this.

And of course which one to use.

And this.

Here are 30 guy rules, but I didn’t know about the fart window in the public restroom.

CNN Covers All The Pronouns, And Gets Hammered

Seriously, who really buys into this?

CNN mercilessly MOCKED after it posted guide for 'neopronouns' from 'ae to ze'
Image

Sara Higdon

Aug 13, 2023 2 minute read

CNN drew criticism and mockery after it published a nearly 2,000-word essay on the use and history of neopronouns on Saturday, including how to address a person who refers to themselves as a “leaf.” 

In the article titled “A guide to neopronouns from ae to ze,” an expert on neopronouns and their histories and professor of English and Linguistics at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign told the outlet that “People like to have a say in how they’re identified.”

“Refusing to let people self-identify is a way of excluding them,” he added. 

Playing to its audience, CNN thought it necessary to explain what a pronoun is and how they are used daily. The article’s author explained how neopronouns are most often “used by nonbinary, transgender, and gender nonconforming people because they offer more freedom of identity.” It even had a guide on how to use neo-pronouns in a sentence. 

CNN posted the article on X and at the time of writing the post has over 1.4 million views only 511 likes, over 4,000 comments, and over 750 quote tweets, with the vast majority making fun of the outlet. 

Christina Buttons wrote, “Is this a serious news outlet for serious journalists or an activist rag?” 

The rest of the article is CNN posted at this link, with hammered by normal people that think there are 2 genders.

Since I’m not job hunting anymore and my social media outlet other than blogs is LinkedIn, I lampoon them often for being woke in my profile. I wonder how many recruiters are getting a laugh at the stuff I put in my profile.

How Was Your Date Last Night?

Back in my dating years, I had a one with a girl named Shayna who basically picked me up at the Cricket Club in Miami. The next morning I caught shit for not cooking her eggs runny. I knew that was the end of that as soon as the words came out.

The moral of the story, don’t bitch or be a nag (she claimed she was being a JAP, whatever)

We didn’t text back then, but if we did, this was it.

Your Thursday Harvard Report, Students Encouraged To Get Food Stamps

Yes, the elite and upper crust Ivy’s have done it again. Despite having $53 billion in the endowment bank, the kids can’t even eat.

Harvard University Encourages Students To Go On Food Stamps, Even Though It’s the Richest School In The World With A $53 Billion Endowment

Harvard University recently organized an event to support graduate students enrolling in government food assistance programs.

The Health Services office sent a flier to graduate students, encouraging them to participate in the SNAP Benefits Sign-Up event in April. The flier read, “Fuel your body & stock your pantry. Did you know that grad students may qualify for assistance paying for food & groceries?”

Harvard University is the wealthiest academic institution globally, boasting an endowment of approximately $53 billion. With such a substantial endowment, Harvard has the means to support a wide array of academic programs, research endeavors, scholarships and initiatives.

The Harvard Graduate Students Union (HGSU) expressed its view, advocating for more substantial measures to assist graduate students, primarily by increasing their salaries. According to HGSU’s proposal, all graduate student workers should receive a minimum annual salary of $60,000, a significant increase from the current minimum salary of $40,000. The union believes that providing adequate compensation directly to the students would alleviate the need for external assistance programs like SNAP.

The high cost of living in Boston only adds to Harvard students’ struggle. Many people across various professions and walks of life face similar challenges. But the proximity to cutting-edge innovation and opportunities in technology, entrepreneurship and startups presents a potential solution for those seeking to get in at the ground level of the next big thing.

story

Life Got Better For Everyone, Hollywood Actors And Writers Are On Strike

What’s funny is most people haven’t noticed.

The biggest effect on me is that Jeopardy is in re-runs, but I can live with that.

They’ll do the usual dance about pay and resolve it somehow, but in the meantime we won’t be subjected to the woke crap like what Disney has been putting out recently.

It amuses me that the Sound of Freedom is doing well, despite no support from the media or Hollywood. They don’t want decent or honest films going out.

We’ll also have a start up period where nothing is getting made as they have to start writing again and re-opening the movie sets. Then the woke crap will be back on the screens.

I don’t bother with that anymore and barely watch much, only what I can stomach.

Go outside and enjoy the day. Actually do things rather than sit in front of the screen. It’s a lost art. There was nothing on for kids when I was young. We entertained ourselves, played sports or made up stuff to do.

I was watching a video of girls talking about would they date an incel (involuntary celibate guy). They said get your head out of the computer if you want your dick wet. Otherwise they didn’t want anything to do with them.

Maybe the writers will stay on strike so everyone wins.

National Mustard Day

Well, there is one that you don’t hear about that often.

From their website:

It’s always the first Saturday in August, and that means August 5, 2023, is fast approaching. Things are coming together and we have updated information for this year’s event on our National Mustard Day page. We just confirmed our headliner for the French’s Music Stage will be Frank Martin Busch and the Names. Frank grew up in Cuba City, Wisconsin, and brings his Americana music to the main stage. It’s a mix of solid rhythms, jangly guitars, honky tonk piano and harmonicas with a little steel guitars. As Frank calls it, “it’s country music without bedazzled jeans with roots from red dirt country rather than Nashville.”

It’s not complete without that famous treat sure to take the world by storm, Mustard Skittles.

Mustard Skittles are suddenly a thing — and the internet wants to know why

By

Brooke Kato

Updated

More On Drivers And Driving

I’m still back and forth between states on the East Coast. I observe the driving habits and various machinery I encounter.

The quick one first. If you are going to drive a piece of crap, get it checked before a long drive. It’s always those cars on the side of the road. It’s like they are gambling to see if they can make it. Getting stuck on the side of the road with no town in sight makes for a terrible day and a very expensive fix. Please make your car road worthy. Show some sense of responsibility.

The thing I fear the most now is a car with a Florida license plate. As they escape the tourists and the heat, they bring their form of driving to torture those of us who know how to do it. It’s hot for the entire year except for 2 weeks in either December or January.

I first noticed it when I had to go there for family. The minute I crossed the Georgia / Florida border, traffic was a free for all.

Fortunately, I don’t go to that hell hole anymore (because of the heat and northerners who invaded and turned driving into a contact sport). The family that I visited are gone now. I have no desire to ever go back there.

They change lanes, the old people are what my friend Rick called them are nesters. They get into the fast lane and drive slow.

They are starting bad driving early now.

Whenever I see a Florida license plate now, I know to avoid it. I’m programmed to expect poor driving or road rage and am rarely disappointed.

It’s not limited to the highway where the behavior is exacerbated by speed. I’m in a mountain town that the reverse snow birds come to for getting out of the oven that is Florida weather.

At the only Publix in probably 75 miles, entire rows are cars with Florida plates. The locals dread this time of year and roll their eyes when someone says they live here part time. Almost to a person, they say are you from Florida.

Hell, people from Florida don’t like each other. When I lived on the coast, they called people from Orlando O-villes because they’d come to the coast and ruin the lives of sleepy beach towns.

I have to do the drive soon. I’m hoping to stay in my lane and hope for no Florida drivers.

For Those Who Thought Dan Quayle Was Dumb, Here Are Motivational Sayings

It’s hard to put this many words together and yet say nothing.

t’s that time of year again, folks. Kids are enjoying long summer days, blissfully unaware of the impending school year. Front porches creak under the burden of sluggish rocking chairs, sweat drips off of lemonade tumblers, and the list of new motivational Kamala Harris quotes we at The Federalist send around every so often to inspire greatness is getting unmanageably long, so it’s time to share them with you all.

First, we brought you our inaugural set of printable motivational posters with stirring sentiments from the woman whose ascent to the vice presidency got in the way of what could have been a promising career in naming nail polish colors.

Just a few months later, the Venn diagram aficionado proved so prolific we had to publish another set of inspirational prints with her best quotes, reminding us all to believe what we believed we believe.

Now, she’s back and better than ever, just in time to get you through the end-of-summer slump.

At the 2023 Essence Festival of Culture in early July, Harris enlightened her listeners about the meaning of “culture,” tying it back to her favorite themes about moments, time, and moments in time.

Much more at the link above.

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

Who would have guessed that after transitioning, it didn’t work out. Now, he can’t even kill himself to end the pain. I put he because at some point he was a guy. For the PC Nazis, I’m still sure he was a dude somewhere in the transition.

Canadian Denied Suicide for Regretting Sex Change Surgery

Being convicted of crimes that warrant capital punishment is not the only thing Canada does not regard as a valid reason to be killed by the government. Canada will kill its citizens for anorexia, PTSD, being poor, or needing a wheelchair lift, but not for plunging into despair after having been sexually deformed in the name of transgenderism:

On July 26, a biological male calling himself Duchess Lois of Alberta announced that he was denied so-called Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD), a euphemism used in Canada to indicate voluntary execution by a medical professional.

Duchess Lois had applied for the lethal service in January on the grounds that his surgery had sterilized him and irreversibly changed his life.

He certainly seems to qualify:

According to the website Pallipedia, applicants for state-approved euthanasia in Canada can cite a “‘grievous and irremediable medical condition’ that produces unbearable physical or mental suffering that cannot be reversed or relieved ‘under conditions that you consider acceptable’.”

However, suicide is frowned up when it is considered to reflect poorly on the woke agenda.

It isn’t surprising that some victims of “gender-affirming care” want to be put out of their misery. On top of the sheer horror of what has been done to them, they endure pain and incontinence:

A huge majority – 81 percent – of those who had gender-affirming surgery in the past five years said they endured pain simply from moving around in the weeks and months after going under the knife.

Researchers from the University of Florida and Brooks Rehabilitation, a health non-profit, showed that more than half of trans surgery patients endured pain during sex, and nearly a third could not control their bladders.

Anyone who would put children on track for these procedures for the sake of advancing LGBT ideology is a fiend likely to burn in hell.

Moonbattery

So If I Return To Using Twitter, Does That Make Me An X-Man

Even being a super hero wouldn’t get me to go back. I’d rather have the time and stay out of the hate cesspool.