Tag: sarcasm

A Truth About People At Christmas

This much attention is overwhelming for an introvert. i can’t wait for it to be over. I can’t hear another Christmas song on the speaker anywhere.

What I hate the most is how people change and act different when I know damn well what asswipes they are the rest of the year. I hate their fake attitude because it’s the Christmas spirit, or whatever lie they are telling.

I like the meaning of Christmas, but the crap that people do around it, compounded by the commercialization since September and I want to pull my hair out.

This is true every year. I can’t wait for it to be over so we can go back to being who we really are.

Ozempic overdose? Poison control experts explain why thousands OD’d this year

Some of those taking Ozempic or Wegovy are learning that too much of a good thing is never good.

Semaglutide, the medication prescribed under the brand names Ozempic, for treating Type 2 diabetes, and Wegovy, for weight management, works by mimicking the hormone GLP-1, which is released by the gut after eating. The hormone has several effects in the body, such as stimulating insulin production, slowing gastric emptying and lowering blood sugar.

It has been hailed for its weight-loss benefits, most conspicuously among celebrities. Oprah Winfrey recently said she uses weight-loss medication and lauded “the fact that there’s a medically approved prescription for managing weight and staying healthier, in my lifetime.” She said it felt “like a gift.”

But between Jan. 1 and Nov. 30 this year, at least 2,941 Americans reported overdose exposures to semaglutide, according to a recent report from America’s Poison Centers, a national nonprofit representing 55 poison centers in the United States.

Story

I can think of more fun stuff to do if you are going to take drugs. As soon as I saw Oprah used it, I started to question it.

How To Punk LinkedIn – Viral Post Generator

People are always bragging or taking credit for jobs they should be doing anyway, like this:

 

Here’s a post generator that makes up stuff for you (link below). I put random stuff in it to get this:

. 

You put anything in and pick the level of cringe that you want. It even adds (I guess) fake people who liked it to give you cred when you post it.

Link

Go ahead and punk LinkedIn

Michael Jordan Allegedly Told Julian Edelman ‘Don’t F*ck It Up’ Regarding ‘A Bunch Of Money’ He Bet On Super Bowl

Well, Jordan certainly can be a charming fellow. Read below.

Michael Jordan is such a G!

When it comes to being an athlete, the pinnacle of pressure certainly has to be playing in the Super Bowl, so with stress, you really don’t want any outside negative energy coming at you outside of what happens on the gridiron.

However, New England Patriots legend and Super Bowl champion Julian Edelman had to deal with exactly that before Super Bowl XLIX, and on such a massive scale considering the added pressure was coming from Michael Jordan. Yes, that Michael Jordan — His Airness, six-time NBA champion, the greatest of all-time, whatever you wanna call him.

Speaking on a recent episode of his “Games With Names” podcast while hosting comedian Bert Kreischer, Edelman told a story about how he met both Jordan and Derek Jeter before the 2015 edition of the Super Bowl in Glendale. (RELATED: What’s Going On? Colts Shockingly Suspend Two Players For The Rest Of The Season In The Middle Of Playoff Race)

“And I’m super starstruck,” said Edelman. “And I’m about to play in the Super Bowl. I go up — and you could tell Jeter’s a very charming guy, welcoming. I go up [and say], ‘Mr. Jeter, I’m Julian Edelman. I’m playing in the Super Bowl.’ I felt weird introducing myself, but I wanted to meet him.”

Jordan, on the other hand, wasn’t as friendly, only issuing Edelman one simple message, according to the former player.

“I started talking with Jeter and everything’s good,” Edelman explained. “And as soon as the conversation’s about to end like five minutes in [and] I’m about to leave, Jordan comes up to me and he goes, ‘Hey kid, I got a bunch of money on you. Don’t f*ck it up.’ And that’s the only thing he said to me.”

story

I guess when you have that kind of money, the rules are a bit different.

Take That Karen’s, Dunkin Employees Pull Gun When They Ask For The Manager

Three Dunkin’ workers accused of threatening customers with guns have been arrested, Texas police say. The El Paso Police Department said the incident happened in the Dunkin’ drive-thru at 8:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 9. A 41-year-old man and his girlfriend were ordering doughnuts, but the woman said an employee was acting “rude” and she asked to speak to the manager, police said in a Dec. 18 news release. The worker responded that he was the manager, using explicit language, according to police. When the couple drove toward the window, the employee came outside, followed by two co-workers. The three workers, ages 17, 19 and 20, brandished handguns toward the couple, police said. “One of the employees chambered a round in the pistol, pointed the gun at the 41-year-old customer, and verbally threatened him, saying, ‘Y’all gonna die tonight,’” officers said.

story

After The Gay Porn Filmed In The Senate Came Out, Twitter (X) Delivers Hilarity With New Names For The Rogering Clip

By now, you must have heard of the Senate staffer who made a recording of himself having sex in the Senate chambers. The news was shocking, the memes were hilarious but wait until you hear about the proposed title of the films!

Twitter (X) had a blast coming up with names you would have found in the back section of your local video store.

Some went 80s naughty movie title style.

See them all here, these people are clever

Disney/Ziegler Do A 180, Because No One Wanted To See A Woke Snow White

Disney actress Rachel Zegler, a vocal left-wing activist, is singing a different tune about the 1937 animated film “Snow White” amid backlash over her past feminist complaints about the Disney classic — and after The Daily Wire announced it is producing its own take on the timeless fairy tale.

During an interview for Variety with fellow Disney actress Halle Bailey, Zegler gushed over the original “Snow White” as “a monumental moment in film history.”

“The cartoon is so beloved — it’s like a monumental moment in film history. It’s the first feature-length cartoon movie, to the point where it won honorary Oscars, and all these amazing things that happened for that film are the reason that you and I get to sit here today, because it made Disney what it is,” Zegler told Bailey, who starred as Ariel in the live-action version of Disney’s “The Little Mermaid.”

The actress went on to veer away from her past comment, saying she “loves everything the Disney company has put out” since its inception.

Story

Disney has ruined every movie for the last few years with either feminist, woke or diversity. I guess investors are finally tired of losing billions. Walt would be turning over in his grave if he knew what Kathleen Kennedy had done to Star Wars, Marvel and classic remakes.

COP28’s Fossil Fuel Phaseout: A Comedy of Errors

Greens erupt as fossil fuel ‘phaseout’ is dropped from proposed climate deal

“COP28 is now on the verge of complete failure,” former U.S. Vice President Al Gore said. But organizers of the summit in Dubai urged nations to be flexible and compromise.

COP28 President Sultan al-Jaber claps during a plenary stocktaking session at the COP28 U.N. Climate Summit, Monday, Dec. 11, 2023, in Dubai, United Arab Emirates.

COP28 climate summit President Sultan al-Jaber, who also leads the United Arab Emirates’ state-owned oil company, claps during a session Monday in Dubai. | Rafiq Maqbool/AP

By Karl Mathiesen, Zia Weise and Sara Schonhardt

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates — The prospect of a deal to end fossil fuels faded on Monday in the oil-rich United Arab Emirates, when organizers of the U.N. climate summit released a draft proposal that merely suggested reducing them instead.

That outcome would fall far short of the demands that environmental groups, the U.S., the European Union and vulnerable island nations had laid out before the COP28 summit in Dubai, with some activists saying the talks would be a failure if they did not call for phasing out the production of coal, oil and natural gas.

The draft “really doesn’t meet the expectations of this COP in terms of the urgently needed transition to clean sources of energy and the phaseout of fossil fuels,” U.S. climate envoy John Kerry said during a fractious, closed-door meeting late Monday night and early Tuesday, which POLITICO listened to via an unsanctioned feed.

Story

Obviously Small Penis Syndrome

Oklahoma law enforcement officer David Dewitt is on the wrong side of the law after an alleged sex toy store fight.

The Pottawatomie County sheriff’s commander was charged with assault and battery after an alleged incident in Oklahoma City at Christie’s Toy Box, according to Fox25.

Dewitt allegedly entered the store with a woman and repeatedly argued with her when she wanted to purchase something…..for possibly the funniest reason imaginable.

The issue was the main sex toy in question the woman wanted was “bigger than him.”

That led to Dewitt allegedly raising his hands in threatening fashion, and a clerk intervened. The Oklahoma LEO responded by stating, “Fuck you, I’m a cop.”

Eventually, the situation cooled down before eventually going off the rails when the clerk asked Dewitt if he needed batteries for the sex toy, according to the same report.

Dewitt allegedly asked the clerk, “What the f**k you say to me, fat boy?” He then allegedly attacked the clerk and repeatedly struck him in the face and ribs.

He was eventually arrested but not before telling the clerk, “Call the f*cking cops. I’m an officer of the law. You don’t f*cking assault me. I can have you arrested, jailed to where you never get out.”

Yes, threatening a guy with life in prison after allegedly beating the hell out of him over a sex toy. Very rational, normal and calm.

Story here

Your Friday Harvard Report – Just Change Your Name To Hamas U

“There are some who have confused a right to free expression with the idea that Harvard will condone calls for violence against Jewish students,” Gay said in the statement posted on X. “Let me be clear: Calls for violence or genocide against the Jewish community, or any religious or ethnic group are vile, they have no place at Harvard, and those who threaten our Jewish students will be held to account.”

Users on X quickly tore into Gay and the university.

“As a Harvard alum, I say this with all due respect: F*@k Harvard!” Newsweek columnist Caroline Glick posted in response to the statement.

“Change your name to Hamas University and be done with it,” talk show host Dave Rubin said in a post.

Story

Diversity hire as Harvard President shows how bad it really is.

Not This Year Santa, Not After All The Other Reindeer Were Jerks

Women’s Soccer Team Gets Destroyed By Fourth-Tier Men, LGBT’ers Say They Should Learn To Get Over Getting Their Asses Kicked

A women’s soccer team was pumped to play a fourth-tier men’s team until the most predictable result happened. It was the same result when the women’s Olympic Soccer team lost to some 15 year old high schoolers in a prep match.

This was followed by this sage advice:

Latest queer advice: Women should ‘learn to lose gracefully’ to trans athletes

Trans are men, so it’s the same thing.

The president of the National Women’s Law Center said on Tuesday during congressional testimony that women should “learn to lose gracefully” to transsexual competitors.

Fatima Goss Graves spoke during the hearing on “The Importance of Protecting Female Athletics and Title IX” held by the House Oversight Committee’s Subcommittee on Health Care and Financial Services. “Trans students participate in sports for the same reasons as [other] kids,” Graves claimed.

“Because it is fun, because it creates belonging, community, because it teaches so much about persistence, leadership and discipline, and last, they learn to lose gracefully and often, win with dignity,” Graves continued.

I get the feeling that the ladies are getting the short end of the stick on this one from everyone.

In related news: Transgender (Bio Male) Cyclists Place 1-2 in Major Women’s Cycling Competition

New DeWalt Combo Air Nailer/Assault Rifle

Washington thinks they are going to take  away our guns, so check this out……..sales of this new product  may skyrocket.

Introducing the perfect solution.  

You don’t have to REGISTER them  or  have LICENSE to own one ….

AND, you don’t have to worry about them being  CONCEALED!


New Nail Gun — made by DeWalt.

It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2×4 at 200 yards.

This  makes construction a breeze …… you can sit in your lawn chair and  build a fence.

Hundred round magazine.

If someone tries to rob your house — Nail his ass to the wall !!!

Thank you DeWalt!

 “IN GOD WE TRUST”

COP28 Update, All Of The Private Planes To Fly Leaders To Conference Grounded By Snow In Europe

It’s called the Al Gore effect. Every time he says that we are doomed by heat, a colossal snow storm appears

Captain Kirk Should Stick To Porking Green Aliens Instead Of Climate Change

I think he’s been playing outer space too long. He was a lot better at beating Romulan’s than dealing with climate change. Hey Bill, no one has died yet and no one is going to from this hoax.

Actor William Shatner, notable for his role as Captain James T. Kirk in “Star Trek” warned that humans were “all going to die” due to the perils of climate change.

During an interview on “Good Morning Britain” on ITV, Shatner cast blame on “stupid humans” for the climate crisis and warned that humans could face extinction. Shatner expressed hope that King Charles III, who is set to give the opening speech at the 2023 United Nations Climate Change Conference, COP28, in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, will speak up about the climate crisis.

“He’s got to say, ‘We’re all going to die,’” Shatner said. “That’s what he should say to open up with. ‘Very quickly we’re going to die. Much sooner than we expected, we’re going to die.’”

Full story

Chopsticks In His Brain, Alcohol Was Involved

A pounding headache led to a shocking discovery for a man in Vietnam, after the source of the pain was revealed to be a pair of chopsticks. 

After the man experienced severe headaches for five months, doctors at Cuba Friendship Hospital in Dong Hoi told the 35-year-old man that he had a pair of chopsticks lodged inside his skull, according to the New York Post.  

Upon checking into the hospital on Nov. 25, a CT scan revealed that the man was suffering from a rare, potentially life-threatening neurological condition that was caused by the pair of chopsticks that had allegedly gone up his nose and into his brain. 

The Post reported that while the man was initially surprised at how chopsticks ended up inside his skull, he soon remembered a fight he was involved in while out drinking five months prior.

Full Story

When Diversity Fails.

Meritocracy should be the reason for advancement, but these days it’s not the case.

The story below was a show of just such a thing and the outcome, diversity went into the drink.

People who are qualified and could do a better job won’t bother when they know they are penalized because they are the wrong color, have a dick, graduate in the of their class.

Here you go.

It’s a troubling sign when our military prioritizes diversity over defense. But sadly, this aligns with the progressive obsession for celebrating “firsts”—be it the first female president or the first cross-dressing, luggage-stealing Department of Energy employee. However, the problem with this unprofessional approach is the shift in focus from the actual job that has to get done to aimlessly promoting a laundry list of social issues. When you lose sight of the primary objective and concentrate on the superficial fluff, your mission is doomed. This is particularly true for the US military, where losing focus can mean death. They nearly learned this lesson the hard way, thanks to a diverse group of Navy women who missed the runway and ended up landing in the water.

USNI News:

A Navy P-8A Poseidon maritime patrol airplane is in Hawaii’s Kaneohe Bay after attempting to land on a Marine Corps runway Monday afternoon, according to Marine Corps officials.

The P-8A reconnaissance and surveillance aircraft was on approach to land on the runway at Marine Corps Air Station Kaneohe Bay on the island of Oahu.

“The aircraft was landing and overshot” the runway, said 1st Lt. Hailey Harms, a Marine Corps Base Hawaii spokesperson, told USNI News.

The aircraft, assigned to the Whidbey Island, Wash.-based “Skinny Dragons” of Patrol Squadron (VP) 4″ landed at 1:59 p.m. local Hawaii time and ended up in shallow water just off the coast. The air station’s main runway runs in a northeast-to-southwest direction.

“At approximately 2 p.m. local (Hawaii), a U.S. Navy P-8 Poseidon overshot the runway on landing at Marine Corps Air Station, Kaneohe Bay, and ended up in nearby water,” reads a statement from U.S. 3rd Fleet.

“All personnel safely evacuated the aircraft. The crew, assigned to Whidbey Island, Wash.-based squadron VP-4 ‘Skinny Dragons,” were on a detachment in support of maritime homeland defense.”

Nine people were aboard the aircraft at the time but no immediate injuries were reported.

“They are still being medically assessed,” Harms said.

Base emergency services quickly responded to the scene, including federal firefighters, military police, air traffic control, fire rescue and waterfront operations, she said.

Thankfully, no one was injured, but this doesn’t excuse the fact that a very expensive U.S. aircraft is now a giant “floaty” in the water, thanks to the left’s obsession with diversity, not quality.

And when they’re confronted with this issue, they circle the wagons, deploying every measure to protect their twisted social experiments. A prime example of this happened with a popular X user known as “Amuse,” who commented on the Navy incident only to be immediately attacked by “Community Notes” without justification. This incident illustrates the lengths to which social media platforms will go to defend flawed diversity initiatives. Here’s what he shared in his post:

DIVERSITY: Shortly after a Navy P-8A overshot the runway and landed in Kaneohe Bay (everyone survived) I pointed out that the crew was diverse. For that I got a scathing community note saying it wasn’t true. The Navy is very proud of the fact that it’s P-8 fleet features the most diverse crews in military aviation. 1st Lt. Hailey Harms, a Marine spokesperson confirmed the crew was both diverse and alive. Because the MSM isn’t reporting the identity of the crew the community notes community decided my comment was wrong. Annoying and false. Before you apply a community note make sure you know what you’re talking about – your inability to confirm a statement isn’t proof it isn’t accurate. Note: This crew photo is just the one the Navy distributed to show how diverse its P-8 crews are. They did not share one of the P-8 crew that went for a swim.

USNI News

Sadly, there have been countless incidents lately where women “teams” have wreaked major havoc, from taking over marketing departments and crushing major businesses like Bud Light and Target to accidentally starting devastating forest fires.

RELATED: Diversity backfire: all-female firefighter team accidentally started huge forest fire in Canada…

It’s commendable that women are eager to contribute, but the notion that ‘girl power’ alone is superior when managing global affairs is not only misguided but also potentially hazardous and profoundly unwise.

Story here about woman drivers.

Hung Like A Bat Bigger Than Hung Like A Horse

This is how you brag

When the male serotine bat’s penis is erect, it is “seven times longer and wider” than the female’s vagina, making intromission impossible. Instead, males have been found to use their penis as a “copulatory arm,” per the study.

I don’t recall that ever being a complaint about me.

How big is too big? Read here

Constant Christmas Music, Too Early, Too Often, Too Much

I heard it back in September when the first Christmas decorations came out. One of my relatives, Meathead, plays it constantly. It just becomes noise in the background. He hates God which is confounding.

I wish we could keep it to a celebration instead of an Ironman Triathlon.

Elevators, Awkward X 1000 When Talking Or Farting

Everyone has that one friend. In my high school, his name was Rick. For some reason, his stomach did more than ours did and when he farted, it cleared the room. One time, we were outside waiting for a concert and he let one fly. Even in the open air the crowd parted it was so bad.

He became a stewardess after college. He told us about crop dusting the passengers near the bathroom so they would think that it came from someone dropping a deuce.

The best story is that he was visiting the Empire State Building. Right before he got off the express elevator, he let one fly that was God awful he said. A bunch of his male stewardess friends were just getting on, and they were stuck for 50 floors in his sewer air. It was so bad that one of them gave him a hard time a full 3 months later for trapping them in that stench. I’ve tried without success since the day he told me that story to duplicate this feat.

As for me, I’ll pick the empty car every time, even if it is just one floor. I admit I’ve closed the door before others could get in. Why do people get so awkward in a specific place?

As an introvert, every closed room with strangers is awkward. It gets compounded by a group of chatty girls (any age) or someone who wants to talk. That is the quiet zone, like the library where you should STFU until it’s time to get off.

Be a good citizen and kind to introverts. Don’t talk. Also, don’t fart in elevators.

Your Wednesday Harvard Report – Proving The Students Are In An Inoculation Facility

It used to be that you’d have to look to point out the lack of education they get at Harvard, or any of the Ivy’s. I’d see it at work whenever they’d try their classroom techniques to fail spectacularly.

Now, they announce their deficiencies while still in school.

This Harvard Student Group Wants To Combat ‘Misinformation’—By Promoting News Sources That Peddle Hamas Propaganda

School’s Palestine Solidarity Committee, which blamed Israel for Hamas’s attack, is now blaming the media for biased coverage

The school’s Palestine Solidarity Committee, which penned the infamous student group statement that held Israel “entirely responsible” for Hamas’s attack, last week criticized American news sources for pushing “misinformation” on the “violence in Gaza.” The group urged its followers to instead get their news from Gazan “journalists,” who the group said are “working on the ground to convey the reality of being Palestinian in Gaza right now.”

Those so-called journalists, however, have for weeks shared false and misleading claims on the war, some of which has come from Hamas itself. Nearly all of the Palestine Solidarity Committee’s suggested news sources, for example, parroted the now-debunked Hamas claim that Israel bombed the Al-Ahli Baptist Hospital in Gaza, killing hundreds of innocent civilians in the process. Another committee-endorsed source—a Twitter account called “Times of Gaza”—has used years-old photos from Syria to claim that Israel is using white phosphorus in its retaliatory attacks on Hamas.

And this Gem:

Harvard graduate student union endorses anti-Israel BDS movement

Amid the ongoing Israel-Hamas war, more than 60 percent of Harvard University’s graduate student union voted Friday to endorse statements endorsing the Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions movement against Israel.

Approximately 64 percent of about 600 union members voted Friday in support of a BDS statement from some rank-and-file members of the United Auto Workers, the national union to which the Harvard Graduate Student Union belongs, The Harvard Crimson reported Monday.

The BDS movement promotes withdrawing business from companies, groups and institutions with ties to Israel.

The statement demands the end of “occupation and colonization of all Arab lands” and has not been adopted by the UAW, according to The Crimson. 

The turnout for the vote was the largest in the union’s history, excepting votes pertaining to contracts.

The Harvard Crimson reports:

Harvard Proctor Indefinitely Relieved of Duties Following Confrontation at Pro-Palestine Protest

A Harvard College proctor has been indefinitely relieved of his duties following his involvement in a confrontation at a pro-Palestine protest, according to a petition that began circulating Friday evening and a student with direct knowledge of the situation.

According to the petition, the First Year Experience Office — which oversees freshmen residential life — notified Elom Tettey-Tamaklo on Wednesday that he would be relieved of his proctor position “for an indeterminate amount of time.”

Tettey-Tamaklo, who is a second-year student at Harvard Divinity School and a proctor for Thayer Hall, declined to comment.

Proctors are Harvard graduate students, instructors, or staff who oversee a group of freshmen. They are unpaid and receive compensation in the form of meal swipes and housing in a freshman dorm. According to the petition, Tettey-Tamaklo was asked to vacate Thayer on Friday.

“Elom’s treatment by the Residential Life administration seems to be in direct conflict with Harvard’s supposed ‘vital commitment to free expression,’” the petition states. “Expressing and organizing around our beliefs should not place us in jeopardy of housing or vocational insecurity.”

harvard crimson

In the real world, this behavior has cost billions in endowment grants and boycotts on hiring these grads, but they should have realized that years ago.

AI – The Robots Always Kill The Humans

How it starts:

First humanoid robot factory in the U.S. can crank out 10,000 robots a year

What you need to know about this revolutionary new factory

by Kurt Knutsson October 30, 2023

Imagine a factory that can make humanoid robots that can walk, run, and work like us. Sounds like a sci-fi movie, right? Well, it’s not. It’s RoboFab, and it’s opening soon here in the U.S.

Concerns over humanoid robots

Some people are really nervous about these humanoid robots, and for good reason. There is a lot to take into account, including ethical issues and potential safety risks.

Many individuals may feel uncomfortable or deceived by humanoid robots that mimic human emotions and intelligence. Others might be worried about them taking their jobs.

Consequently, we should approach the use of humanoid robots with caution, acknowledging their capacities while being aware of their limitations.

How it ends

Terminator, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., 2001 A Space Odyssey, The Matrix and all of the rest of them, the AI Robots kill the humans. AI always goes bad and we are toast.

Robot grabs then brutally slaughters worker, allegedly mistaking him for a box of paprika

Joseph MacKinnon

November 10, 2023

An industrial robot brutally slaughtered a South Korean robotics technician Tuesday, allegedly mistaking him for just another container of organic material in need of stacking.

The victim, a man in his 40s, was attempting to diagnose an issue with a pick-and-place robot’s sensor at the Donggoseong Export Agricultural Complex in the southern county of Goseong, as there was an equipment test planned for later in the week, reported the Register.

The paprika-sorting robot, reportedly created and installed by the victim’s employer, spotted the man with its sensor, figured him for a box of vegetables, then seized him using its arms and tongs. After grabbing the technician, the robot apparently smashed him against a conveyor belt.

According to the Korean-language Yonhap News Agency, the victim’s face and chest were crushed. He was taken to a hospital, where he later died.