I always try to count how many are actually working.
I try to thank the sign workers who let the traffic flow when there is only one lane for both sides. They take a beating for holding up traffic, but it isn’t their fault.
When I worked in construction growing up, the lowest guy got the worst jobs. It’s an unwritten rule.
I need one of these for the people trying to sell me stuff or for pretty much anyone who doesn’t text and let me know they are coming first.
I swear I wrote this in my journal this morning. I was grateful that I got rid of that ball and chain a long time ago. I busted ass for a long time to be in this position and it is worth it, I Gar-un-tee it!
Sure I’m older now and don’t have as many years left, but Sunday night doesn’t suck as much knowing that if it’s a bad one, I don’t have to hate the next 24 hours.
When I watched the NFL before it went woke, I used to go to Monday Night Football and get home late and not sober. How I made it to work the next day and was able to get through it is beyond me now. I guess I was young and it didn’t affect me like it does now, even though I gave up all my bad habits.
Just not being able to sleep, which happens a lot now can ruin the next day.
I think I’m better off older.
I had amnesia once — or twice.
*****
Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
*****
I am neither for nor against apathy.
*****
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
*****
If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
*****
What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
*****
They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
*****
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
******
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
*****
One nice thing about egotists … they don’t talk about other people.
*****
My weight is perfect for my height … which varies.
*****
I used to be indecisive. Now, I’m not sure.
*****
The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.
*****
How can there be self-help groups
*****
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.
*****
Is it just me, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
I absolutely did this a hundred times, then pelted everyone with them. It was when we played outside instead of in front of a screen.
I’ve written about Internet Road Rage and Stupid Things Smart People do. It’s also why I stay away from a lot of social media. My life is a lot happier that way. Also, I don’t have to worry about my body image that Zuckerberg lied about yesterday.
After 2020, the election, Covid, Afghanistan, Political Correctness, riots in cities and the many alphabet groups that support some PC and SJW nonsense I don’t know what normal is anymore.
I’m just trying to get by and avoid as much of that stuff as I can. I’m trying to focus on more important stuff in life. Once I can understand their motives, I know whether they are self serving or have an issue that is genuine. It’s hard to do with the fake news and the crap on social media.
I am taking in everything and everybody to try and figure out the players and their motives. For now, it seems everyone is out for their group, or against a certain sector that they hate. In other words, they are out for themselves rather than level headed thinking and God forbid, helping others.
All it tells me is that it’s either a dumb custom, or scratch these girls off the list as potential mates.
I start planning my escape the minute I hear that I can’t get out of an event. I just want to minimize the pain of small talk and social crap. This even if I like the people.
It has nothing to do with Covid. My social energy battery starts draining as soon as I hear I have to go.
I can spend endless time however one on one with someone that I can have a deep conversation with, or a dog.
My posting has been light as I’ve been moving. It’s almost over. After I get the final truckload into a temporary storage place today, I can finally relax.
This has been months of ass busting to get things ready, turning me into a carpenter, plumber, painter and a no paid laborer.
After that was going through everything I’ve collected, including family stuff dating back to at least 2nd grade. A flood of memories came over me as with each picture or item, I felt the same emotion from decades ago. I also felt the loss of those who were there and are gone now. Some of the memories hurt, some were better. I decided to tell myself that I should be happy that I got to have the memory rather than let it tug too hard at my heart strings, dragging me down.
I had to throw out half my life. Those who will have to clean up my mess when I’m gone should thank me for doing it now for them. I had to go through all of my parents stuff when they died, which took years as some stuff was legal and I had to hold onto it, until this move. The final stuff is now gone, save for a few pictures and mementos.
My life is going to go through another phase now. I thought I was going to live my life out in the last 2 houses, yet here I am in a temporary place until the next one is ready.
It was a lot easier moving when you are younger. You have less shit that you accumulate and no one else to answer to. Now it’s “do you need this or do we need to keep it”. I had a lot more energy then and I know what to expect now.
When you are young and don’t know what is around the corner, it is an adventure. I know every phase of moving, including what is next, and that most people I have to rely on will be late and not really care about me except as a paycheck
I threw or gave away many thousands of dollars of stuff. It won’t fit where I was going and I got tired of selling stuff so I donated most of it to those who need it more than I do. I hope it serves them well. I’m happy if someone less fortunate benefits.
So by Monday, I’ll be as back to normal as I’ve been in a long time. Man, I hope so.
Back to the memories and moving adventures, I realized how freaking old I’ve become. For the first time, it’s dawned on me that the future is no longer endless. As each of us contemplates eternity, I hope you have prepared your soul. It’s way more important than a legacy
Reality bites us all in some way or another. I’m living through that right now.
This is for the mush-heads who are tearing down statues or Colleges trying to teach a different story than what actually happened.
Teach the warts and the successes so that the next generation can decide for themselves.
Instead, they want to blame and disparage, for what? As always, it comes down to power and control. That’s another history lesson.
You can’t make yourself better by tearing others down.
Do I expect them to learn this in Portland, SF, Seattle, Chicago, NY and other like places? Of course not.
Worst of all, look at Washington DC and Afghanistan right now. How well is that going? They got their power and control, probably a lot of money also.
A lot of good that will do them when they die. The real book that should be there is the Bible. A history lesson is there also.
I wish the next generation luck. If they don’t learn the real lesson, there will be a new book about another country that was the greatest, for a while.
“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.”
I swear this is true. I’ve found that everyone has a story. Some people call it skeletons, but when you hear about their lives, it weaves together who they really are. Pretty soon, you have to decide if they are worth it.
There are generally patterns to people and they repeat them, almost predictably. The more you find out, the less you want to do with them, except certain activities you can stand to do together.
There are some that overlook a lot of stuff because they wish to be with someone. That’s why people flock to celebtards for example.
I had to deal with a lot of famous people in my life. After spending only a little time with them, I couldn’t wait to get away.
Fortunately, there are a few people who truly who have a list of qualities that are better than their bad ones. I hope you can find a few.
The rest are people who are people. They show themselves to be who they are. You just learn about it over time. You have to decide if you will be putting up with or they need to be eliminated from your life to avoid being poisoned.
Then there is Mauerbauertraurigheit, or pulling away from groups that just need cleansing from your life.
Finally, examine yourself. You probably are that person to others. I guess try not to be, but don’t fake it, be yourself. If you don’t belong, don’t. If one of you is not normal and it’s not the other person, it’s you.
I’m old enough to be past it yet even yesterday it happened. Some douchebag had 4 containers of strawberries open and was picking out the best ones. He was touching all the food and stealing from the store.
I could have asked politely to stop it. Instead, I gave him shit for about 5 minutes, not once but twice and threatened to call the store manager on him. While others were thanking me, including the employees stocking the shelves, I still wish I could have done it calmer.
Had we not been in public, I would have decked him and had to hold myself back from doing so. I should be more mature, but no. My social skills that I’ve practiced for decades deserted me and I lost it in public. I’m usually emotionless, preferring to avoid people as much as possible and yet I go off on someone in the middle of the grocery store.
I still feel I was in the right to stop it, but surely could have acted more like an adult than a schoolyard adolescent.
There are a lot of jokes about extroverts adopting introverts and so forth, but the answer on really how to get to know one is less obvious to the world. It is clear as a bright sunshine day to introverts.
I know I have little patience for small talk. I don’t want to hear about surface level nonsense that is mostly irrelevant. It becomes a Facebook discussion on saying anything you can to get the most likes in the conversation.
That is a social rule that was written by extroverts because they are louder and dominate the discussions. When the yapping starts, I watch the introverts shutting down. It is mentally draining. It takes me days to recover from having to listen to this.
I’d rather just not talk and I don’t go to a lot of things just to not to have to hear it. I like the people, but the energy draining isn’t worth it.
On the other hand, if you want to talk about something meaningful, watch me open up. We don’t have to talk about derivative equations, but cut the shit and meaningless banter. I have a great depth of knowledge on many subjects and enjoy the conversation that is intellectually stimulating.
Fortunately, I am not bound by whether someone likes me for what I say or comply to. There are a lot of times I’m grateful that someone thinks I may be anti-social because I don’t want to listen to gossip. It’s usually a hate fest anyway.
I had an oncologist tell me that girls will tell other girls how good they look when it is awful, just so they will wear it and look bad. How effed up is that? They hate each other and I don’t want to hear about it.
So get to know me. That is two fold. Don’t gossip or try to keep the conversation going for the sake of talking. The other is try to go below the surface and show that you have thoughts about something sincere, really anything. Try pets for example. How tough is that?
I’ll do my part and even put up with the introductory small talk to get to know you, but if it doesn’t go past that very soon and you start repeating the same thing, or if it’s just trashing someone else, I’m out.
I develop Mauerbauertraurigheit (definition and discussion here) quickly and am gone.
I’m busy researching something else to write about the Covid Jab ingredients and why they created the formula a certain way, so I’m somewhat apathetic about being clever today. Enjoy this one for now.
I will say this is how I feel about small talk though. Introverts will get that.
I have to talk to someone from my past soon. I hope to clear the BS out of the way and have an actual conversation, but it will depend on them. Otherwise, I’m shutting it down and giving them best wishes, also known as I’ll let you go now.
I’ve posted a lot of stuff poking fun at both. Once, when partially serious I posted how and why we are different here.
When less serious about it, I posted how we see things differently, on how men and women see colors differently.
And now for today’s humor.
I get to make a long drive today. This is what it’s going to look like in feeling except I’m alone. I first thought that this guy was by himself, but I’ll pretend it’s his dog, who would probably be a helluva lot more quiet.
FWIW, I’m looking to get another truck after I’m through with my current car. I’ve enjoyed them every time I’ve owned one. You get to sit up high and see everything. You are also further away from others that way.
The partner next to me today will be no one. My company is an audible book. The title is Algorithm’s to live by, by Brian Christian. It is mind blowingly complex thinking, but really helps you in life and will turn your mind internally by a mile.
I do get to see the rest of my family and dog when I get there and look forward to it. I love them, but being alone lets me re-charge my social energy.
Owning one of these is the only time I’d want to live in Oregon, Washington (either one), California or New York. Let’s not forget that the same people have invaded Florida.
Actually, I should be banned from having one. I’d be in jail within minutes of buying it.
I retired and enjoyed the heck out of it. If you want to know what I did, go to about and about me.
I started planning for it when I was in my 30’s and knew it would be a long game to have enough. I listened to Larry Burkett of Crown Financial Services, a biblical based ministry that taught me to save and to live debt free. I posted about it a while back on how an average Joe can become a millionaire.
Was it hard?
You bet it was. There were a lot of sacrifices and a lot of learning about investing, managing money and faith in God. It turns out that we were blessed with an abundance of riches, only a small amount of which are financial.
We were alone.
Fortunately, my wife was on the same page. Heck, my Mom even taught me how to save as she lived through the depression. She could make anything last longer than possible. That woman sacrificed for us and I noticed. My siblings however never learned. Mom told me she taught each of us the same lessons, but said no one else listened to her.
I caught a lot of crap from my friends.
Working in the airline industry is very common for my family and friends. We have many pilots and flight attendants in that group.
Rick, with whom I went to school with since 7th grade, gave me a ton of grief when we were in our late 20’s. He was serving cokes for a living (stewardess) and wasted 15 years of his life doing it. He was broke when he quit.
I spoke to him one Saturday when I was at work. He told me that he only worked 2 weeks a month and was off to Hawaii for free, rubbing it in my face that I had to work. When I hung up, I knew right then that I was making a short term sacrifice for long term gain. I would be retiring early while being financially safe and knew I would have to work hard to accomplish it. I said to myself that I would make it my goal and I’d be playing golf while he was working. He still is working today, and when he got to the real world I’d had 16 years of experience. I had owned my own business shortly after that conversation. FWIW, I played golf this week and have enjoyed a long retirement while he was in tech support.
Did I get even with him?
I chose not to rub it in because the facts show our different outcomes. I’m glad I have mine. I knew I would be financially set and stuck with it in life. Every day is Saturday for me now and he is living off of Social Security.
Being an introvert, I don’t want to get into it anyway and he doesn’t want to talk much anymore. I don’t care what happens to others as I can’t control anything other than my destiny. I’m sorry he didn’t listen to me. He told me he resented that job for 13 of the 15 years he did it and hates his current job.
A theme and a pattern.
It wasn’t only my siblings and friends. When I sold my business and went to work for IBM, they were the same. When it came time for me to say goodbye, my house was paid off and we had saved. Almost no one could believe that I was pulling the plug that early. They thought it was some scandal that I had to quit and were very disappointed that the reason I retired was because I could. Most of them were keeping up with the Jones and didn’t save. I looked some of them up and they are still stuck working at the same job when I left.
At the end, IBM was a terrible place to work (see managing executive ego’s, the good, the bad and the ugly). I actually pulled the trigger a year early to get out of that hell hole. To a person, everyone said they wished that they could do what I did, get out. They were too far in debt to do so.
I turned down moving to New York to “climb the ladder” because living there sucks and I didn’t want to raise a family there. People told me when they moved to New York, they got to pay 30% more for everything, for less than I made. Again, I knew that I was making the right decision for my family not to go there to “get ahead” (behind would have been the actual case if I’d gone there).
My Father.
Dad worked until he was 70. Work defined his life. He was lost when he retired.
Working was only a means to an end for me. To be fair, I was fortunate enough to be highly successful and God decided that I should be compensated for it. That helped make it happen, but if you go back to my siblings, they earned more than me at times. They still work though as most of it was wasted on useless stuff.
Dad couldn’t understand my goals, but I had so much going on that work was interfering with my life, so I stopped. I never regretted it.
A lot of the IBM’rs died shortly after retiring because they had to work a long time. I saw that and knew I wanted to enjoy my life. Now, every day is Saturday for me.
I have enjoyed each day these last 10 years. Heck, I’m the president of the how to enjoy your retirement club. Never once did I think about going back because I didn’t have to.
If there is any lesson, it is in the post of how to become a millionaire.
Short term sacrifice for long term paradise.
I got my ass beat a lot growing up. It was almost every day one summer. I’m pretty sure I earned and deserved every whack. I turned out just fine and respected my Dad even though he was the administrator of spanking.
When I look at the woke people, the cancel culture and the idiots on Twitter, Fake Book and other social media, I’m thankful for my upbringing. It scares the crap out of me that this group of ‘tards are about to run everything while a bunch of them still live in their parents basement.
The ones that made it out of the basement are bringing down the NBA, NFL, MLB and the rest of sports and entertainment (and life).
I also can get anywhere with only a map, write in cursive and can figure out how to fix just about anything without a search engine.
Ah yes, choices. They separate the wheat from the chaff.
My Mom told me that life is about having to climb mountains, a figure of speech for problems. Once you climb the top, there will be the next one.
We know the right choice and many times don’t pick it. Actions have consequences, choose wisely.
First of all, I forget everyone’s name it seems, even though I have this handy device.
Next, my names aren’t as nice as the first two. Most of mine fall into the last category, although I treat men and women equally when doing this in my head. Basically, I go the interaction that made the most lasting impression and call them a profane form of the of said impression, then progress from there if they need it.
I mostly forget the people as I don’t want to remember any that come my way if possible. The ones I can’t avoid get some name other than the one they were born with. I’ll remember the nickname if I see them though.
When all else fails, I easily lump them in one category that covers a lot of space, dickhead.
One day I’ll get busted for talking to myself out loud and someone’s going to ask who is the ………..that I’m talking about?
All true, but in no particular order. I wonder if others relate to this? Sure, I don’t feel like this all the time, but let some person I’m not comfortable with try to include me on something I know I dread and………
My life is also complete, but this one falls in the category of I don’t need to see this in person.
No funny meme’s because Fathers are important (well, maybe later if it is really a good one). Their presence in raising a family is needed as he brings to the table what other’s can’t. Those smarter than me say that Fathers are crucial to the self-esteem of daughters for example.
A good Father is who she starts with to pick her life mate. (I’m hoping that they pick against some of my bad habits). We try, but are fallible like anyone else, but seem to have rougher consequences in today’s environment.
I lost my father 16 years ago, but I remember our times together vividly. I remember times from when I was single digits old. I learned lessons on what to do and what not to do. We won a golf tournament together for his company. He was proud for a long time as our names, which are the same (I’m a legacy) remain together on that trophy.
The real trophy was that I got to spend time with my Dad and my kids.
I’ve been a Father now for many, many years to all 3 types; boys, girls and dogs. They have different needs and figuring out what that is sometimes the hardest part.
What is the most interesting thing for me is that I see a lot of my Dad in my Son. Some traits skip a generation. He’s a lot more like my Dad than I am. I see patterns and anyone can see how much this one is true.
I’m told that your father is one of the first steps in a relationship with God. It’s like having another father who stays with you. I hope people can just think about that rather than argue. Form your opinion as you may.
Have a happy Father’s Day. Look for a reason to celebrate an important person in your life, maybe it is you.
Think about what your Father did, even if it was just to bring you into this world,
I hope you are able to ease into the weekend early today and not have a Monday for Friday.
I couldn’t believe when I read this on the Art of Manliness blog, a self help for anyone really, but it’s good stuff on how to be a good man.
I saw my life flashing before my eyes as I’ve been winnowing relationships somewhat based on this formula, just on my terms. When I felt someone wasn’t loyal to our relationship, it starts going downhill until I draw the Maginot line and it’s over. I treat others like they treat me.
I didn’t realize how much of a drag on your mental health these relationships are. It has been for me, but I’d made a conscious decision to end them whenever possible when they got toxic for me.
Sometimes it’s Mauerbauertraurigheit, but that is a last resort for me and I have no control over leaving people when that happens. Mostly, I reach a moment of truth and fade away. I don’t ghost people, but I actively avoid them and decline as much as possible until they get the hint. Most of the time, I just get forgotten.
Here are some excerpts, but I’m highlighting only parts of it, what was the blinking light to me. Here goes….
Then there is a category of people which sits right in between. You might call them “frenemies,” though the “enemy” part of that compound can feel like too strong a descriptor. Social scientists have a better term for these kinds of ties: “ambivalent relationships.”
Both positive and negative elements exist in every relationship. In a good, supportive relationship, the positive significantly outweighs the negative. In a bad, aversive relationship, the negative significantly outweighs the positive. In an ambivalent relationship, neither the positive nor the negative predominates; your feelings about the person are decidedly mixed. Sometimes this person is encouraging, and sometimes they’re critical. Sometimes they’re fun, and sometimes they’re a drag. Sometimes they’re there for you, and sometimes they’re not. Sometimes you really like and even love them, and sometimes they bug the ever-living tar out of you.
We can have ambivalent relationships with co-workers, friends, family, and even our spouses. And while we don’t tend to think about our ambivalent relationships as much as we do those on the more polarized ends of the affection spectrum, they actually make up about half of our social networks.
Here’s how it is for me in their words:
Sometimes the connection you feel with someone is very strong when you first meet, but over the subsequent years and decades, you change, and they change, so that your lifestyles, outlooks, and personalities end up more and more disparate. You still think of yourselves as friends, and still have a bond built on a shared history, but your connection is more conflicted than it once was. (Social media really sucks on this one).
Sometimes you’re friends with someone because your spouse is friends with their spouse. They’re not someone you would have actively chosen to be friends with, but because you spend time together as couples, you end up in a relationship, albeit an ambivalent one. (Me, I hate this one. I’ve yet to connect with any of them as they weren’t my friends, they were her friend’s spouse that I was forced to hang with, but we never would otherwise.)
Sometimes you’re just thrown together with people. There are office colleagues and fellow church congregants and roommates who you neither strongly like nor strongly dislike, but that you come to feel quite familiar with because of how much time you spend together. Sometimes this familiarity rises to the level of affection, and sometimes it doesn’t, and sometimes the relationship just kind of is what it is. (Still, I’ve never really made a close friend from this group. They are people I have to put up with for a period of time. I know how much time that is and it is a countdown until whatever social engagement I’m forced into is over).
It goes on to say:
And, of course, there’s the whole dynamic of family. You may have grown up around certain blood relations, but you otherwise share little in common, and the fact you still get together is based more on biological bonds, and the expectations around filial piety and familial obligation, than genuine desire and enjoyment. You’re in fact more likely to have ambivalent relationships with family members than friends, which makes sense; while relationships with friends are a matter of voluntary choice, you end up connected to family members by chance.
Me:
I have little in common with any biological family anymore outside of my wife and kids. I wonder about them sometimes. Most are gone, but for the ones that are left, if we weren’t related, we’d never talk (and with most, we don’t). The ones that are left seemed to agree with me to keep each other at arms length. I avoid funerals and weddings if at all possible as I don’t need to catch up. I don’t want to talk about my life to people who are strangers other than the biological relationship.
As I recall growing up, my siblings weren’t my friends. Most of the time they would rather try to get me into trouble starting with telling on me to parents on stuff I didn’t do, progressing to talking shit about me to mutual acquaintances at school just to tear me down publicly or socially. We were forced together as a group. We don’t do anything other than the perfunctory requirements and no one really says anything. Even on vacation when young, I was off on my own on any downtime.
I know I never looked forward to any overnight trip to visit any relatives, even as a kid. I thought most of them were a bit creepy. As an introvert, I pulled away from the social gatherings that usually happened around a big meal. It was dreadful. I didn’t even know I was introverted, it naturally happened.
Now, I just try not to initiate any conversation with them to avoid them even thinking about me. If I can turn down a family gathering that involves siblings, count on it.
As far as other relatives, I’m fortunate to have my wife’s relatives living in another country. I’ve done stuff with them, but they for the most part revert to bashing either the USA, or want to try to make America a socialist country like theirs. They consistently trash what is morally right and it’s tiring to listen to. I’ve been fed up with it since 9/11 when they told me America overreacted, and this was before Iraq. If there is a position that is wrong, I can count on them to take it they are such a group of socialists. I can only take so much USA bashing and am now done with them. I just won’t go anymore.
I couldn’t figure these relationships out because I wasn’t born socially gifted like others. Being an introvert, I do have powers of observation and body language skills I’ve had to develop to determine friend or foe. It also helps me determine who is going to waste my time or try to get me to do shit I don’t want to do anymore. Now, I say no.
Supportive relationships have been shown to buffer stress, boost resilience, and improve physical and mental health.
Aversive relationships have been shown to amplify stress, diminish resilience, and damage physical and mental health.
You might think that because ambivalent relationships feel middle-of-the-road, their impact on your life would be similarly neutral. But in fact, multiple studies have shown that their effect is significantly and uniformly negative, and that “ambivalent relationships not only are less effective at helping individuals cope with stress but also may be sources of stress themselves.”
Studies have found that your blood pressure goes up more when you interact with someone with whom you have an ambivalent relationship, than it does when you interact with someone with whom you have a supportive relationship. Even just anticipating interacting with an ambivalent tie triggers a greater increase in heart rate and blood pressure. Researchers speculate that this heightened stress response is due to the unpredictability of an ambivalent relationship: Are you going to enjoy your time with this person or are you going to get in a fight? Are you going to have fun or just feel annoyed? Are they going to be supportive or critical?
We might hypothesize a couple other reasons that cardiovascular reactivity increases when interacting with ambivalent ties.
One is the greater exercise of self-control you have to muster during one of these interactions; you have to check yourself from rolling your eyes, showing signs of your boredom or frustration, offering an overly harsh rebuttal to an opinion you strongly disagree with — and this takes effort. The heightened stress response experienced around ambivalent ties may also be due to the psychic split you feel over whether you even want to be hanging out with this person at all. You don’t dread seeing them the way you might the dentist, but you don’t really look forward to seeing them, either. The interaction feels more compulsory than voluntary, more obligatory than willful, and we feel a measure of frustration when we don’t experience ourselves as fully autonomous and have to do things that are contrary to our personal desires. (This is how I almost always feel anymore. I have to work up to want to go out with someone and want to know when it will end so I know when I can leave. There are very few I look forward to seeing anymore. Most people who think we are friends don’t know that we aren’t).
Here’s the really surprising thing: blood pressure not only rises more when you’re interacting with an ambivalent tie versus a supportive one, it also rises more when you’re interacting with an ambivalent tie than it does when you’re interacting with an aversive one. In other words, you feel more stressed when interacting with someone you like/dislike, than you do when interacting with someone you entirely dislike.
Me:
I end it by saying not for me. The trouble is in the interaction with people. When I just don’t, my blood pressure is better and any stress over socializing is avoided.
I’d rather not talk to them, especially the majority of those I’m related to. I like the pets though.
My guess is this is at a bar so they don’t fall over.
I’m done with that in my life now so it’s me wanting to rest now.
Also never get in their way when they are losing arguments and taking each other out. I find this on Quora a lot also. I already published Stupid things smart people do, although the title may be wrong about them being smart.
This is stuff I laugh at because I know it applies to everyone, not just introverts. I just internalize more than most so I go through this when asked.
FWIW, I ask this about most other people at some point also.
The masks are coming off and we can see your mug again. No more guessing who they are by the eyes. Now, we can see that nose ring in the post below.
Scratch #2 on the list. I don’t try that hard.
This example is a bit much in introspection, but the point is that examining yourself and your life gives you a window to learn who you are and why you do what you do.
Most people don’t take the time to look at past events to see why you act now like you do. Occasionally, one remembers something familiar, but that is when you have the time to think or daydream, like when it happens to you when you remember a familiar song. This is just knowledge that you have.
WHY WE DON’T STOP TO THINK ABOUT ME
I’m not talking about the online and public me (and I mean you here). Everyone takes care of that and primps or struts accordingly, especially on social media.
Life is more chaotic than social media and can hit you in the face. You are on instinct then unless you have prepared for whatever. Some are just instinctual about it. Others could be on the discovery of a lifetime if they learned why they act that way.
I know you can’t be ready for everything, but everyone knows their strengths and weaknesses. Some refuse to admit them though. Those that can will master their greatest opponent, yourself.
That’s where self-awareness comes in. I look at patterns so if the same type of event or response to something happens, I put the information together and can deal with the problem better. Not your run of the mill stuff, but how am I messing up relationships or how did a situation go from great to hell with one misstep on my part.
Instead of asking have I faced this before, what lesson did I learn, I want to know why is this happening again to me because of something I did, said or forgot to do? How was I successful in dealing with it or avoiding it? What lesson was learned past don’t burn your hand on the stove. It’s never the obvious answer.
Most can do this type of recall with a single occurrence of a prior or recent event that happened, but I go back to my youth and multiple iterations of a pattern that becomes obvious. The things that happen to me now when it goes bad probably happened to me in my earliest formidable years, but I forgot the lesson. I’m at a point in my life that I’m remembering that stuff now and it has affected how I look at life now.
I discovered my personality was the same although I, like everyone else can be an actor and can put on a different front. Usually it was a job interview or a first date, something we all go through.
Now, it’s take it or leave it with what you get from me. I don’t pretend and I also stop short of telling (most) people off and walk away. No one can fire me and I fired Twitter and Fake book.
HOW I DID IT
I write everything down to read later. Here is a link to a good article that talks about journaling. If it isn’t convenient to write, I email myself or text. I’ll complete the thought later and perhaps it ends up here.
My private thoughts go somewhere else. When I look back at my younger self now, I see the same person, only one who is trying to figure out why it is happening. Now, when the SHTF, I’m ready as I’ve read where I mis-stepped before and usually think it through before I get into trouble.
As long as I’m being self-aware, I can usually remember to shut the F**k up in time to not make the same mistake twice. I also learned to build, fix and mend things around the house, but that is easy compared to people.
One day, maybe I’ll look back and remember something that will help me in the future.
I want to look back fondly that I at least improved or grew in how I acted or re-acted. Occasionally I do. Mostly, I’m still learning not to be a screw up.
Look back when something is familiar and think of times as a kid when this lesson was first taught. Either that or look back on forgotten memorable times to enjoy.
That is closer to wisdom
Life was easier to have fun when you don’t have to rely on others or electronics for fun. The mind is still the greatest tool we have, explore it.
This works for retired people also. I can do a lot of stuff during the day and not get done what was needed.
“We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.” – Walt Kelly
Only a few generations ago, the average lifespan was about 40 years. People died from diseases that make Covid seem like a scratch.
More people have more chances to do good or get ahead in their own way than any other time in history.
I ask myself, why is there so much unrest and hate? It shouldn’t be that way. Your time is short and passes quickly. Not everyone needs to go down as a revolutionary. That is so much wasted effort out of the day.
My saying for today is look for something good instead of bad. No matter what, it will make at least that moment better.
Here’s the definition.
Mauerbauertraurigkeit (n.) – the inexplicable urge to push people away.
This doozy of a word may add an extra dimension to our socially exhausted state. Mauerbauertraurigkeit means:
“The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like — as if all your social taste buds suddenly went numb, leaving you unable to distinguish cheap politeness from the taste of genuine affection, unable to recognize its rich and ambiguous flavors, its long and delicate maturation, or the simple fact that each tasting is double-blind.”
I’m not sure if this is a true psychological condition that is being taught or is proven like the Theory of General Relativity, but I know it is true.
Recently, it happened to me and I pulled out of some things I was doing. Partly it was Covid and partly it was Mauerbauertraurigkeit. There were different reasons, but remember I’m a patterns in life guy. I notice when it happens.
It’s happened to me all my life. I can’t stay with a group for much more than a couple of years. It depends on how obsessed I am with what I’m doing as to how much I’ll put up with before I have to go. I get socially and emotionally exhausted and my will just forced me away. It was if I was watching what was happening and couldn’t (and didn’t want to) stop it.
As it turns out, all the groups I left were for a good reason and were the right decisions in aftermath, but at the time I was mentally overwhelmed. The realization that I was free from the social obligations that kill me inside was blissfully comforting.
Normally, Covid would have been a problem as I wouldn’t have to go to groups I didn’t want to. Unfortunately, they invented Zoom and those of us who actually need body language to read people can’t.
Fortunately, I live a whole different life in my head as do most Introverts so I go there many times during Zoom. If I’m on mute, I probably muted not thinking about what was on the call.
I will say this, most extroverts are not polite about this and want to include you on all of their tedious activities, and want to know why you don’t want to do everything with everybody. They literally force me away because they want to be all up into my stuff. I suffered at work from this until I found ways to get out of social activities.
The answer and I guess the moral is when I’ve had enough, either for the day or for life, I have to get away and I can’t help it. I leave and never come back usually.
I can’t be alone on this. A lot of people are overwhelmed socially, by extroverts.
I imagine some people think they were ghosted, when in fact the person couldn’t help themself from pulling away.
I’ve never felt better about myself than when I leave, any of them at any point of my life. I don’t think that I’m missed and don’t really care if they think I’m anti-social. As long as I’m not a part of them anymore is all that matters.
And Now for Guys, I present the Nothing Box. Girls, you should pay attention if you really want to understand men, even though you’ll never really get it.
Also Guys, understanding why women’s minds are so busy is also explained. It’s something we’ll never get.
What is so funny to me is that every time I try to explain it to a girl, she can’t understand it or wants to get into my nothing box. They never understand that if you got into my nothing box, it would be a different box (see at 8:15 where nothing is something). Watch and see:
Happy Saturday. This is better than politics or Covid. Enjoy your day. I’ll be playing with my dog.
If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. – Jim Rohn
It goes with another quote I like. You will realize how much people are thinking of you if you knew how seldom they do.
I know I’ve learned the hard way to make my plans and stick with it. It’s not being selfish, rather self protection. I’ve rarely found that others have your best interest at heart. If they do, it is often behind their best interest.
Usually, one of the parties wants something different from the other one and the fun begins.
It’s not only in relationships, but I’m usually disappointed by people more than anything else. They are far more consistent at it than plans are in letting me down.
Just go away if you are offended (not by me, but by anything and then I have to hear about it). Here’s a clue, don’t read what offends you. Here’s a 2nd clue, just move along if it does. No one cares whether you get offended or not anymore. Everyone is offended, so why should we? More time is wasted arguing on the internet or arguing about topics that are….well see above.
I read that it must be tough to grow up with such a thin skin that words can hurt you so badly.
Go away and leave me alone.
If you want to know the road ahead, ask someone who has been there.
Throughout my life, I’ve always asked people for what advice helped them the most, either good or bad. Sometimes, knowing what to avoid is just as, if not more helpful. I stumbled on this by accident when I realized that I didn’t know everything there was to know as an adolescent, even though I thought I did.
Not knowing the outcome is good if you don’t want to spoil a surprise. Knowing the right path in life to take is never a bad thing.
One thing I’ve learned is that most wise people have also learned that a lot of people don’t listen, so their knowledge remains with them because they are tired of offering to help, only to see it rebuffed or not taken. The same mistakes that experience already taught someone is then a lesson never learned or passed on.
It’s up to you. Ask what is the meaning of life, what helped the most, what is your biggest mistake, I have 2 paths in life to take but don’t know which to choose.
Unfortunately, power is a a drug that affects most. Only those who learn to control it and not let it control you are the real leaders. We haven’t had many of them in the recent decades. Only 2 come to mind.
The older I get, the more I don’t want to do stuff with others. I like them, but my ability to want to hang with people grows shorter every day.
Just leave me alone. I promise I’ll leave you alone.
If I want to talk, I promise you’ll know. If I want to know something from you, I’ll ask.
I enjoy being alone more than with crowds. I’ve had a lifetime full of that and have never felt the need to be a part of one. That includes standing in lines for something (like Disney) or wanting to be accepted in someone’s social circle (that has stupid clique rules).
A year or so ago, I opted out of a neighborhood birthday party because I couldn’t go home early or take another car. I drove for 3.5 hours to a vacation home while they thought I was getting the house fixed. I knew it wasn’t going to happen that trip, but that’s how far I’ll go to not have to go to a social event where I know no one.
No one missed me and I didn’t have to go. I enjoyed my days off and we all were happy.
FWIW, my name is John, and I don’t give a fuck.
That’s right, tomorrow is not guaranteed, neither is later today.
I always advise to think eternally, rather than temporally. You may need that.
With what went on in 2020, I wake up and wonder what could be next?
OK, except in machine level coding, nothing is that binary. It does capture a good percentage of the people you encounter however.
People don’t change, they reveal themselves to you. I try to cull the temporary people as life has taught me that lesson.
“We define ourselves far too often by our past failures. That’s not you. You are this person right now. You’re the person who has learned from those failures. Build confidence and momentum with each good decision you make from here on out and choose to be inspired.” – Joe Rogan
Sometimes failures are the steppingstone to success. Lessons have to be learned so that you know which path to take and why.
We have a choice. You can wallow in the past and something you didn’t succeed, or use the gift you have been given from your experiences to be the best you for today.
I post this to show that not all actors (he’s really a stand up comedian and podcaster) are not all celebtards.
“‘Wrong’ is one of those concepts that depends on witnesses.” – Scott Adams
It makes me wonder what is going on with the election. There clearly are witnesses, but there is enough uncertainty on both sides that it makes one question who did what and is it real?
Maybe the history books will one day discover what happened.
That having been said, it is a matter of moral importance as to what you do. It is said that how you act when no one is looking that defines who you really are.
I agree that looks fade away. You have to peel back the layers and find the jewel inside.
There are many beautiful women who are kind and loving, but many also that just trade on their looks. Too many have paid price of the Siren’s Song.
Time is fair to everyone. Sooner or later we all get old and all that is left is what is inside.
I know some introverts. They have a lot to say and are very deep people. The problem is that the others talk over them a lot of the time. I watch the introverts just shut down at that point and a great story or deep conversation stops.
If you know someone like this, give them a chance. You might be surprised to find a loyal and interesting friend.
I’ve written about how meetings are a waste of time and how to avoid them. This just confirms that it’s true if you know Sowell.
“No man remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself.” – Thomas Mann
Once you take your guard down and truly admit who you are, you get to see the person that is you. It’s doubtful that you’ll ever show this person to others except on a deathbed, but once you see yourself as you view and judge others.
We think we are invincible and nearly immortal when we are young, but the scars of life take it’s toll as do the decisions we make or avoid and we aren’t who we think we are.
As we age, inside we still see ourselves as the younger version until things start breaking down, but Zoom meetings will show you that age is taking it’s toll. Maybe that is why some hide their looks with makeup.
I already talked about this in the post “Stupid things that smart people do“.
I posted about how people have Internet road rage also as they are so brave hiding behind their screens doing things that would get their asses kicked in real life.
Arguing on the Internet is the biggest waste of time, other than social media. Why do you ask (even if you don’t)? Besides being a waste of time, you are looking at the best side of people and comparing it to the worst side of you (they take better vacations, their family is nicer, I’m not as pretty……). It’s like a first date or job interview. You are seeing the side they want to show you, not the real McCoy.
People think they are going to convince others that they are wrong or should switch to think like them because they are right. Neither of these will happen. You won’t convince anybody of anything and you just wasted more time in addition to Facebook, Twitter (the cesspool of the Internet) or any of the other time suck sites.
The other people that argue with you are the ones who do it to piss you off. I know some of these people who do it for sport. Hell, I get people in comments here who want to make their point because they believe they are right and I am wrong. My answer is get your own blog.
Don’t be a time waster. Don’t argue with people who ate paste. Life is too short and someone out there really needs your help or time, not the kid from school.
It’s not just older men, it’s older people and little kids. Art Linkletter said that kids tell the truth and older people just don’t give a s&!^ anymore.
“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.” – Joe Ancis
Some say there are skeleton’s in everyone’s closet. The way I say it is that everyone has a story.
When you meet someone, it’s like a job interview. They put on the best version of themselves. It’s kind of like a first date. They show you the best version of themselves and how good they are.
Once you know them, the warts begin to show. We let our guard down and you begin to see the real person.
Unless you go through this process and learn, you play a video in your head of who you think the other person is. It’s rarely right because you don’t know them or what they’ve been through, or what they are capable of doing (to you). That is why they seem normal. My rule is that most are not. Everyone has a story.
It’s why I usually don’t talk much about myself and just try to be the real me. The sooner you show who you really are, the quicker you can weed out the fakes you run into.
Covid has changed our lives for good, and possibly/probably not for the better. Let’s take it by activity.
Travel
Here is some history. Flying used to be fun, economical and had good service. We used to like going on an airplane until some jag-off decided to try and light his shoe bomb on a plane. Then another tried to blow up his underwear. We now have to queue in a long line and I’m not all that sure that it’s stopped anyone other than the average Joe traveler. It hasn’t stopped the TSA from copping a feel on strangers. The food sucks now and isn’t free anymore. Flying is more like the line for enlistment (including your prostate exam by the TSA) than to get on a plane.
With Covid, we can now add a temperature check, face masks and the the fear of catching anything from being in a tube for hours with little to no service. The airports are petri dishes for bacteria.
Given the losses on travel companies and equipment manufacturers, it doesn’t bode well for the travel industry or the travelers.
Going to the office to work.
The requirement to be in person at work not as necessary as thought.
Before remote working, we had to be in the office or no one could be fully sure that you were earning your pay. Travel and working remotely eased that but there still are some bosses who didn’t trust their employees. I had one piss-ant manager named R. Gorman when I worked at Thinkpad who didn’t trust anyone. He sent a memo called rules of the road where you had to be in the office. All that got him was no trust or loyalty from the team. We were technologically equipped to work from anywhere and always did on business travel, but there still was some requirement to be in the office otherwise.
Employees want to be empowered to succeed. When that happens, they find ways to be creative and accomplish their goals. Conversely, when you treat them like school children, many will act that way. Just like with Ray, our productivity went down and the Ray jokes went up.
Now, no one can go in to work while we are socially distancing, and most jobs (non-manufacturing) are still getting done. It’s easy to reach anyone at anytime (too easy and too intrusive) but the oversight of said taskmasters is not needed. In a way, the people are now empowered and they still get the work done. This one could be a benefit of Covid.
The downside is that a lot of empty buildings will lose their real estate value as there is no need to be in the office with the exception of essential workers.
How it affects the home
For us introverts, I thought it would be a time that we could cancel and/or avoid engagements until Zoom invaded our lives. Now even virtual happy hours are like a meeting. I’ve noticed that it’s hard to get privacy when kids and dogs are in the room or yelling in the background. Spouses or parents have been caught parading nude in front of the camera by accident.
When you meet in person, it’s easier to read body language and have someones attention. I tend to drift during Zoom meetings and have multiple devices that I often look at. I’ve noticed that I’m not alone.
Trouble for Introverts
Normally, we would be in pig heaven not to have to go to the office. In addition to the invasiveness of Zoom/Skype, we are stuck in the house with extroverts who won’t leave us alone. It’s like being trapped in hell. You want the quiet and the peace you got when the extrovert was in the office, instead your personal space is invaded and you can’t escape the dreaded small talk. The place that used to be your refuge has been invaded and there is no escape. It’s a fucking nightmare. It’s the people in your house that you can’t get away from.
How are you supposed to recharge your social battery when an extrovert is constantly draining it all day? Please, leave me alone and talk to your girlfriends.
Schools
The school model is now exposed, especially at college level. No more extortion for dorms when you can do 90% online. College professors are no longer as essential. Recorded classes, especially at the 100 and 200 level are adequate. Online testing and submitting required homework is routinely done online even well before this virus.
It turns out that colleges are a Breathtakingly overpriced product.
According to Mike Rowe: “They’re gonna’ find big thinkers with easily accessible ideas who are exponentially more interesting than professors, and soon, I hope, our obscene love affair with credentialing is going to stop, and we’re going to pause in every imaginable way, and look at what is essential – not just in workers or in work, but in education, in food, in fun. Everything is going to be forced through a different filter,” he said.
Colleges will also be exposed on their sports programs. Sports are a bank fund that pays for a lot of other school expenses and is a recruiting tool for enrollment. The schools will now have to rely on actual academics as a draw for students instead of March Madness or Bowl season. Maybe the students will now get an education instead of an indoctrination to Marxism.
Conversely, this is a big positive as the cost of education has the opportunity to go down (but so far the colleges are still extorting the same ransom from parents). Room and board are a large part of the cost of an education. Combine that with the lack of a requirement for many classrooms and there is the road to cutting costs.
It is not in the best interest of the Major institutions to charge less, but the cat is out of the bag that you can get almost as much done online. I hope that the masses will overcome and help this opportunity for cost cutting.
For elementary, middle and high school, I think it will hurt our youth. There is a need for hands on in basic learning and kids have the attention span of gnats. Sometimes you need to snatch their asses back to attention when it’s learning time.
New paradigm for getting essential needs like groceries.
Essential services like cancer, emergency rooms are same, but will change. Non-essential Dr. visits are now handled over the phone or via video. Dr.’s can now dedicate more of their time to real emergencies or necessary in-person visits. A person using the Emergency Room for healthcare because they don’t have insurance is going to go way down.
There is no downtime for paperwork and other overhead that comes with any job, but that got handled off-line mostly anyway.
Rely on technology more, but the risk is that you can take down a society like the virus did. Beware of hackers though, where there is opportunity, there will be bad guys looking to make your day worse.
Shopping
Groceries have taken a turn for the better/worse/something different. Now that we went through the great toilet paper shortage and people have enough to wipe their asses for the next 5 years. They can realize that a little planning can condense 5 shopping trips into one, or one delivery or pickup.
A lot converts have been made for grocery delivery. There are a few kinks that need to be worked out though. I’ve gotten stuff I didn’t order, but mostly I rarely get everything I wanted, even if I put in what the substitute would be product. There is no shopping for the store brand that is a whole lot cheaper.
We have gotten used to queuing a lot more now. It used to be the end of the world for some people who had to wait for more than one person to checkout. Now, we’re standing on X’s taped to the floor like kindergartners waiting to go potty.
As is the trend, online shopping has picked up and the downside is retail stores are less needed. Again, this is a loss in real estate value and will leave a lot of square footage available.
So all in all, some of this is good, but a lot of it was unnecessary. If it wasn’t an election year or if there were different political leaders, a whole lot of people wouldn’t be losing there freaking minds over every little thing that they look for to be offended by. HCQ would be over the counter like it is in a lot of countries and we wouldn’t be held hostage for masks as no one really seems to know whether it truly helps or hurts us yet.
I’ll remain optimistic that society will adapt. I’m pessimistic that this is a political power opportunity to control the masses and we should beware.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.
A person must know their limits. Those who know more than you will quickly know when you have gone past the line of your knowledge (abilities, capabilities, etc.)
It’s no shame to say I don’t know, especially if it gives you the opportunity to learn or grow. It’s only those afraid to say they don’t know or act like they do that miss the chance to expand their life.
Swallow your pride and seek others help.
Also, don’t say here, hold my beer and do something stupid.
Real knowledge is to know the extent on one’s ignorance. – Confucius
The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it. – Jean Paul
How many have said I wish I knew then what I know now? Well, you would have lived life differently and not have learned what you know now.
The known unknowns and the unknown unknowns are the mysteries of life to learn. Don’t be blinded by arrogance to think that you know everything. Always try to learn something, anything no matter how little and you will never be disappointed.
Also, appreciate what you have for today. You don’t know what tomorrow brings, or how many tomorrow’s you have. It’s easy to be dissatisfied when you are selfish or self-centered. Try looking at things from anothers point of view, especially their view of you and see if your thinking is clear.
“Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes.” – Edgard Varese
A sucker is born every minute – P.T. Barnum
“Barnum was wrong – it’s more like every 30 seconds.” – unknown
“Human genius has its limits, but stupidity does not.” – Alexandre Dumas
We live in trying times. It is tough to know what is really true, especially if you listen to the MSM, celebrities, sports stars or trust social media. This means more as we are in an election cycle.
Inside, we all have a moral compass, it’s just that many refuse to look at it, study the facts and make the right decision. Most see the world through the view of someone else’s beliefs.
Be smart and don’t be afraid to go against what is popular while sacrificing what is true and the right thing to do. Sure, you may lose a few people in your life, but in the end you’ll be a heckuva lot better off not swimming against the current into the jaws of those who feast on the idiots.
“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.”
Wendell Johnson
When I went to a group for married couples early in my marriage, this was one of the significant topics.
Sure, it’s written in humor in the quote above, but it is very true. Nothing is always or never like you never put the toilet seat down or you always leave the lights on. It’s just not true and both parties know it.
The reason I say married couples is that people dating or living together can just leave with little damage other than feelings. While it’s not believed by a lot of people, the concept of marriage is until death do us part. Some still pull that off.
So never say always and always say never.
“A man’s ledger does not tell what he is, or what he is worth. Count what is in man, not what is on him, if you would know what he is worth — whether rich or poor.” –Henry Ward Beecher
Steve Jobs died with 9 billion dollars. It does him no good now. He built a dynamic company that employees thousands and touches millions. He also refused to acknowledge his daughter when she was growing up. Which is more important?
Many of us want to show off what we have or what we look like on the outside. Look no further than the cesspools that are Facebook and Instagram. No matter how good the lives look there, what do they look like on the inside? Actually, most people reveal how terrible they really are on Twitter, but that is not a dress up platform like the others.
What is in you?
For the timid, change is frightening; for the comfortable, change is threatening; but for the confident, change is opportunity. –
Nido Qubein
What goes with this saying is that change is the only thing that stays the same. It’s going to happen so how you deal with it is how it’s going to affect you.
Being frightened isn’t bad. It heightens your awareness (fight or flight) to notice it’s happening and allows you to deal with it. Those who embrace it and see the upside will be better off. Running away from it isn’t going to stop it. Life goes on and so must you.
As we get older, we get more used to it or get more used to running from it. It’s your choice.
Look around you right now. It’s happening with Covid 19, the riots and political back biting. Stay above it and don’t believe what is being written (actually don’t read the news or social media, neither of which are likely to tell the truth). Decide for yourself.
We know what we are, but know not what we may be. – Shakespeare
Another version of this goes – You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. That was either Gretzky or Jordan.
Some don’t try for fear of failure, some don’t try because they lack courage. Both lose because there is a reward for winning and a reward for learning if you fail. I heard Michael Jordan say that he took over 30 shots to win games and missed, but it didn’t stop him the next time. He said when asked if he was worried he might miss and he answered that why would worry about something that hasn’t happened yet?
Don’t let your inhibitions keep you from excelling. You never know what is inside you until you try. Many times I haven’t felt well for an activity that I needed to be well conditioned for, yet wound up killing it because all I needed was a warmup.
Go after it today, then go after it tomorrow. Keep going after it until you can go. The reward is not a trophy, it is the sense of accomplishment that will help you try again the next time.
Finally, let it be the judge of who you are, not social media. That is turning into a cesspool of being a time suck and dragging you down because you think something is different than it is. Don’t be a sheeple.
Behind every success or overnight sensation is usually a long list of mistakes and failures, don’t give up.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve learned far more from my mistakes than successes. When I succeed, I usually expected to, whether or not I knew if I had a chance. It usually is a result of optimism and confidence, but we all have that if we want it.
The corollary to this is whether you learn from your mistakes. If we’re alive, we’re going to make a mistake sooner or later. Not doing it twice, especially on the important stuff is the key. Learn from it, but don’t dwell on failing. Dwell on succeeding by not repeating the past.
Knowing what is important is the next key. Start with people. If you’ve made a mistake, admit it and try not to let it be a hurdle for you. If they’ve made a mistake (and harmed you in some way) learn to forgive. Also, learn to move on. The faster you can do this, the less you will be bothered by whatever it was. Don’t let anyone live rent free in your head
What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
You take with you what you’ve been through as an education. Hopefully you learn and don’t repeat the mistakes and instead, use what you learned for good.
Nevertheless, you may not realize your capabilities unless you stretch your goals and keep striving for more.
The bad guys in the media and those who are trying to re-shape the world in their image want to take away your hope. Don’t ever give that up. It’s what keeps us going and not fall into trap of complacency.
“For the great enemy of truth is very often not the lie–deliberate, contrived and dishonest–but the myth–persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Too often we hold fast to the cliches of our forebears. We subject all facts to a prefabricated set of interpretations. We enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.”
President John F. Kennedy, Yale University Commencement, June 11, 1962
It’s hard to know what to believe these days. The media (MSM) lies to us every time they communicate, politicians say what they think others want to hear (there are a rare few that don’t) and Social Media is just a group lynching now for whatever you say that more than 1 other person disagrees. Worst of all are the celebtards who think they have a clue to what life is really about and get together to preach to the masses because they have a million Instagram followers.
The bottom line is if you don’t believe in something, you will fall for anything. For me it is faith, but everyone has to find their own way and their own rock to anchor to. Good luck.
If everyone starts repeating the same thing, use your critical thinking to decide whether it is worth going along with or if it is even true. I question just about everything until I know the motive. Also, I quit Twitter, Quora and only look at FAKEbook for group events that I’m supposed to show up at.
It’s not just knowledge, succeeding is knowledge put into action.
There are a lot of smart people. There are a lot of successful people that have lower IQ’s, but are smarter in life. The difference is what they do with what they know.
The difference is putting yourself into action. It’s also known as common sense.
I’ve worked with a lot of people who bitched that they never get ahead or that they are better/smarter/have been there longer/deserved it more than the person that got the promotion or the new position. Almost always the person that got the prize was the one who took the chance and did the work.
Don’t sit on your ass. Get out there and do something, then do more. Rinse and repeat then watch the results.
There is too much history behind this to show that it works. You don’t win every time, but that is why they play the game. This one is called life.
When you do things because they are easy or the easy way, life will be hard in the future. When you do things that are hard, life will become easy.
I remember in my early working days when I was busting ass on a Saturday. A friend of mine was giving me a hard time about working while he was on his way to Hawaii because he only worked 2 weeks a month (he was a stewardess – his words). He was flying there for free because he worked for the airlines.
I knew that I was making a short term sacrifice for a long term gain. I couldn’t afford the trip both in terms of money or time off.
A few years later, he decided not to serve cokes in the air for a living, but had wasted 15 years of working experience. I had committed to getting ahead early in my career to enjoy my time later in life. That required me to work hard when I was younger and sacrifice some things.
Now, I go where I want, when I want. I’ve long since retired and my friend is still catching up and will be working for a long time. I can afford a ticket to wherever, usually on frequent flyer points. Life is a full circle.
I’m not a fortune teller, but life is short and there is a time for work and a time to reap the rewards of that work. I knew that early and instead of living for the moment I had to work hard and sacrifice to enjoy the fruits of that labor.
We all learn lessons in life, but the are eerily similar. Few are sports stars, win the lottery or inherit their wealth. You need to work tenaciously, suffer from some hard knocks and learn from your experiences. I knew way back then that goofing off early in life when you should be building the foundation for your life was the right decision.
I decided not to rub it in with my friend now that we are on the other side of the equation. He is suffering enough and it’s just not worth it to me. The results speak for themselves.
I found this and agree with most of it. It was written by an introvert if you couldn’t tell by the first bullet.
I used the last bullet when raising kids. It kept them (mostly) out of trouble that a lot of my friends had to go through.
A lot of it really refers to personal responsibility for your actions and outcomes. I wish more people were doing that right now instead of blaming others for their problems or as an excuse to act improperly
Revenge is taking the poison and hoping others die. Forgive everyday. – unknown
I really don’t mean the saying today for what has been going on the last week even though it applies. It is a saying for all of life. What happens this week will be over soon and there will be another issue to try and cause strife.
On a personal level, we all run into someone every once in a while who says something or does something that either causes harm or offends you. It’s best to forgive and move on. Whether you can forget is up to you, but the other person is probably not thinking about you.
I read the best revenge is not giving a shit. Once you do that, you can forgive a lot easier.
People breakup in relationships. They get laid off from work. Those close to us die. It happens to everyone sooner or later.
You will always keep that memory whether or not you want to, but moving on is part of life. Yes, it takes time, more for some than others. Some never move on as a loss is hurtful.
The best thing I can offer is that every experience can help you grow. Try to look for the positives. Try to remember those things or people that you lost for their positive influence on you. Sometimes if you can’t move on, at least move along until the pain is less.
The other situation I often see is that you don’t get the dream job you thought would change your life. There is always a next job if you keep seeking and no one thing is the panacea of life that will cause it to stop if it doesn’t go your way.
“Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” — Aristotle
It’s hard to figure out who is angry and who is an opportunist with what is going on right now.
Some people can go from zero to life in prison in 2 seconds. Others seem to be able to take more than most. As I grow older and with more wisdom, I realize that a lot of things really aren’t worth getting upset over. I realized this when I was younger, but usually after I got angry and did something I regretted.
Oh, this works for other situations also, like relationships and work situations also.
“The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.” – Kilgore Trout
I didn’t label this as great. It is however, a break from the anarchy going on right now.
About the only positive I can take from the rioting is that we’re going to see real quickly if social distancing is necessary anymore. It’s surely not happening in a lot of places at once.
It seems like history is repeating itself. There were protests in the 60’s at the same time we sent men to the moon. Space-X just had a successful launch on Saturday.
Delusions of Adequacy 