Tag: integrity

Things I’ve Learned Once I Understood That I Was An Introvert And Who I Am

On By JohnIn Education, family, friends, Human Capabilities, introverts, not obvious, patterns, people, self-helpLeave a comment

Because of my personality, being loyal was a trait that overrode protecting myself. I did a lot of stuff that while during it, was a terrible chore. I did my duty because I thought it was my responsibility. I gave myself completely to friendships when all of the effort was for naught. Afterwards, I frequently felt betrayed by others. They didn’t do any share of the relationship or a joint project.

This first happened to me at single digits of age and continued through my work career.

I recall the feeling of being betrayed by others and realized they were self-centered. I didn’t understand this concept and had to learn about it the hard way. I had extended myself only to have my minimal expectations (some sense of returned loyalty) ignored or rebuffed.

Being a pattern person, I recognized what was going on and finally started withdrawing my full commitment. This bothered me as I hate giving less than 100% to a friendship or a task, and it gave me no satisfaction. In fact I felt I was selling myself short. The outcome was predictable every time.

Finally, after realizing that guarding myself was more important than worrying about what others might think, I started saying no. I didn’t want to anymore. I didn’t want to go through what I knew would be a one sided effort that left me disappointed again and again. I was tired of being hurt or betrayed. Others do it easily without concern for anyone. I had to learn to say no.

This was tough to do at first, but I had to protect myself or life would continue to be tough on me. I was tough on myself more than others.

I found that there is some initial pain on both sides of the relationship, but mostly mine. It has saved me in the long run. I now don’t do a lot of things that I know are just not going to be worth it. I’m much more careful as to what I’m going to commit to, either in tasks or relationships.

I’ve found some peace once I realized that others don’t give a shit usually other than about themselves. They quickly forget about it and me. I don’t get over it near as quickly, feeling that I’ve let someone down, but it passes and I realize that I’ve prioritized myself rather than others because it was necessary. It’s not selfish, rather a means of self-protection for me.

Of course, I thought I “suffered” from Mauerbauertraurigheit, but then it became my friend and I’ve eliminated a lot of grief. I used to give and give until I was overwhelmed to the point that I completely withdrew and couldn’t control doing so. Now, I recognize it in advance and purposely do it when I know it’s not going to be worth it.

I weigh the benefit against the cost and don’t do a “duty” or what I perceive as an expectation. There is a price for my loyalty, it is at least some in return. Otherwise, you don’t see me anymore.

Here’s Who I’d Vote For In The Miss World Pageant

On By JohnIn bias, celebtards, competitors, Elitism, entertainment, Freedom, Health, healthcare, Human Capabilities, integrity, not obvious, people, politics, sarcasm, science, screw ups, self-help, wokeLeave a comment

I can’t wait for the scripted cure the world and peace for mankind speeches from the girls who don’t want to be cancelled for saying the wrong thing.

Here is someone with a backbone that should really be awarded the crown, a person with integrity.

What and When Is Something Wrong?

On By JohnIn bias, fake news, Freedom, government, history, Human Capabilities, integrity, Life, not obvious, people, quotes, self-helpLeave a comment

“‘Wrong’ is one of those concepts that depends on witnesses.” – Scott Adams

It makes me wonder what is going on with the election. There clearly are witnesses, but there is enough uncertainty on both sides that it makes one question who did what and is it real?

Maybe the history books will one day discover what happened.

That having been said, it is a matter of moral importance as to what you do. It is said that how you act when no one is looking that defines who you really are.

Great Sayings – Marcus Aurelius on Celebtards, Sports Stars and Politicians Today

On By JohnIn actors, bias, celebtards, childhood, Education, Elitism, fake news, Freedom, government, history, Human Capabilities, integrity, Life, msm, people, quotes, screw ups, self-help, social media, twitter, unqualifiedLeave a comment

“The opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject.”

Marcus Aurelius

 

Celebrities pretend to be someone else.  They are trained liars.  Sports stars are the best of the best at playing kids games.  Politicians for the most part live to be re-elected and like celebtards, are trained liars (many are lawyers who are masters at not telling the truth).  The MSM are the worst.  They are news readers that have a bias one way or the other.  None of them really know about what they are telling us to do.  It is almost always do as I say, not as I do.

Why the hell would we listen to these people’s opinions?  For the idiots who trust social media, it’s because they live a false life on social media.  Kids (I include millennial’s to teenagers here) haven’t had enough hard knocks in life.  Sometimes it is the parents fault for trying to not have them go through what made them learn about life.  That’s why everyone got participation trophies and time out.

Older people who buy into what others are saying instead of finding out and deciding for themselves have no excuse.  Life causes us to learn whether we want to or not.  It’s called making mistakes and learning from it.  They just didn’t learn from it.

The net is don’t change your values because you went with the crowd.  That didn’t work in high school and it won’t work now.  Learn to think for yourself and do what you know is the right thing to do.

Seek out those who know what they are talking about, not those described in paragraph one above

Great Sayings – Johann Wolfgang von Geothe

On By JohnIn Elitism, Freedom, Human Capabilities, integrity, Life, obvious, people, quotes, self-helpLeave a comment

“To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.”

Peer pressure and fear cause most people to go with the crowd instead of their values.  In these days of political correctness and social justice warriors, there is always someone to criticize you no matter what you do.  It’s best to ignore them and do what you know is right.  We have a conscience and know instinctively right vs. wrong.  You’ll feel better in the long run about yourself and they choices you’ve made.

Great Sayings – Thomas Sowell

On By JohnIn Elitism, family, Freedom, history, integrity, Life, not obvious, quotes, screw upsLeave a comment

Thomas Sowell – “Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good.”

 

Post Modernism has ruined the quality of life for us.  I know there is no going back, but there are but a few of us willing to fight for what is right rather than what the crowd tells us to do.  Just being socially accepted is not a reason for not doing what is right and good.

Sowell has said some of he most relevant and meaningful things that can be read.  I encourage others to heed his words

Great Sayings – Orison Swett Marden

On By JohnIn Human Capabilities, integrity, Life, not obvious, people, quotesLeave a comment

“There can be no failure to a man who has not lost his courage, his character, his self-respect, or his self-confidence. He is still a King.” — Orison Swett Marden

 

A lot can be said for the person who is has not lost his courage, even if he is afraid.  You can have both at the same time, just don’t let the one out do the other.  As for character, that will be what others talk about when they speak of you either behind your back or at your funeral.

Best Zig Ziglar Quotes

On By JohnIn Economics, history, humor, integrity, Investing, obvious, quotes, Religion, self-help2 Comments

I heard him speak once, and it was inspiring.  He was late in life but still had much youth in his presentation.  I wish I could come up with such inspiring messages:

  • Money won’t make you happy… but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
  • People often say motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.
  • Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale.
  • Money will buy you a bed, but not a good night’s sleep, a house but not a home, a companion but not a friend.
  • People don’t buy for logical reasons. They buy for emotional reasons.
  • If you can dream it, you can achieve it.
  • Building a better you is the first step to building a better America.
  • Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.
  • Little men with little minds and little imaginations go through life in little ruts, smugly resisting all changes which would jar their little worlds.
  • Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful.
  • Every choice you make has an end result.
  • Every obnoxious act is a cry for help.
  • Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.
  • Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street.
  • I believe that being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can’t truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles.
  • If God would have wanted us to live in a permissive society He would have given us Ten Suggestions and not Ten Commandments.
  • If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.
  • If you don’t see yourself as a winner, then you cannot perform as a winner.
  • If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.
  • If you learn from defeat, you haven’t really lost.
  • If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you’ll never end up with a nag.
  • If you want to reach a goal, you must “see the reaching” in your own mind before you actually arrive at your goal.
  • It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through.
  • It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you use that makes a difference.
  • Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.
  • If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you’ll never end up with a nag.
  • People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
  • Statistics suggest that when customers complain, business owners and managers ought to get excited about it. The complaining customer represents a huge opportunity for more business.
  • Success is dependent upon the glands – sweat glands.
  • The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty.
  • The way you see people is the way you treat them.
  • When you are tough on yourself, life is going to be infinitely easier on you.
  • You cannot perform in a manner inconsistent with the way you see yourself.
  • People who have good relationships at home are more effective in the marketplace.
  • You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure.
  • Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.
  • Success is the maximum utilization of the ability that you have.
  • Remember that failure is an event, not a person. You cannot tailor-make the situations in life but you can tailor-make the attitudes to fit those situations.
  • You do not pay the price of success, you enjoy the price of success.
  • You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.
  • Remember that failure is an event, not a person.
  • You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.
  • There has never been a statue erected to honor a critic.
  • Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.
  • If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.