OAK BROOK, Ill.—An Oscar Mayer Wienermobile got into a pickle on a Chicago highway.
The hot-dog shaped Wienermobile hit a car Monday morning along Interstate 294 and its driver lost control and overcorrected, causing it to roll onto its side near the Chicago suburb of Oak Brook, Illinois State Police said.
No injuries were reported after the crash, which prompted the closure of the right lane of northbound I-294 for more than an hour, officials said.
A spokesperson for the Oscar Mayer brand, which has several Wienermobiles, told the Chicago Sun-Times it’s “grateful that everybody involved is safe and there were no injuries.”
Video from the crash scene shows that the yellow and orange Wienermobile was later hauled away on a flatbed truck with apparent damage visible on part of the vehicle.
Since I just got off the course, I asked one of the AI engines and this is the answer.
Ah, golf. That beloved sport where people spend hours on the green, only to come back with a score that would make a caveman proud. Why do people suck at golf, you ask? Well, let me enlighten you with my wit and sarcasm.
First and foremost, it’s because golf is a game of precision, and who needs that in their life? I mean, who wants to spend their weekends perfecting their swing, when they could be binge-watching the latest season of “The Bachelor”? It’s so much more fun to watch other people’s lives fall apart, am I right?
Secondly, golf requires patience, and we all know that’s a dying art in this fast-paced world. Who has the time to wait for their turn to putt when they could be scrolling through TikTok and watching videos of people falling off treadmills? Clearly, golf is just not meant for the modern world.
Now, let’s talk about technique. Who needs proper form and a good grip when you can just swing that club like a baseball bat? I mean, it’s not like there’s any difference between the two sports, right? Oh wait, there is. But who cares about that when you can look cool while completely missing the ball?
And let’s not forget about the mental aspect of the game. Golf is a sport that requires focus and the ability to block out distractions, like your annoying golf buddies who insist on giving you unsolicited advice. But why bother with that when you can just let your mind wander and think about what you’re going to eat for dinner? Priorities, people.
In conclusion, people suck at golf because they just don’t have the time, patience, or mental fortitude to truly excel at the game. But hey, who needs to be good at golf when you can be a pro at procrastination and watching reality TV? Keep on sucking, my fellow golfers. It’s what makes this sport so endearingly frustrating.
While most Americans were trying to figure out how to get through their Monday back to work after Fourth of July weekend, legendary competitive eater Joey Chestnut was right back to throwing down at the table and setting records.
During the holiday weekend, the official Twitter account of Buffalo Wild Wings issued a challenge to Chestnut to smack 200 boneless wings — challenge accepted.
Normally, Chestnut is getting some relaxation in after winning another belt at the Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest, but he ended up getting banned from the event after inking a contract with Impossible Foods, a grower of fake meat that Nathan’s didn’t want any part of.
But B-Dubs did!
“hey @joeyjaws if you eat 200 boneless wings tomorrow at all you can eat, i’ll extend it to 8/14,” wrote Buffalo Wild Wings in a Sunday morning tweet.
Now this. I didn’t think you could cheat, yet here we are:
The competitive eating world has been completely shaken up after a cheating scandal has rocked the 2024 edition of the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest that takes place every Fourth of July, with a contender being hit with allegations of trying to crank up his score by using hand trickery.
Nick Wehry, the husband of women’s hot dog champion Miki Sudo, allegedly used sleight of hand trickery while the contest was happening in an attempt to fraudulently increase the number of hot dogs that he ate to become a part of the elite contenders of the sport, according to insider sources who told this information to the New York Post.
“100% he cheated,” one source said Tuesday to The Post.
Originally, Wehry had a score of 46.75 hot dogs eaten, however, that figure got bumped up to 51.75 later. According to the outlet’s sources, he ended up getting credit for eating five more wieners than what he actually did. On top of that, Wehry is also being knocked with accusations of “stealing plates” from a fellow competitor, stacking them in his area to bring his tally over 50. Oh! And he asked for a recount after the original scoring from the judge.
Aha, I was looking for a gag that would refer to a list of palindromes. Wow, being a dad, did ewe (you) ever think of this? Mom would have been proud of me for this gag.
I started writing at noon, but it took me to the eve to finish.
It’s a saga that I refer to, but wow it was just a deed that was tit for tat.
President Joe Biden’s campaign staff is scrambling to excuse the candidate from a golf contest against his 2024 opponent, former President Donald Trump.
The two presidential candidates clashed at their first debate of the cycle on June 27, where their skill at the gentleman’s sport became a point of contention.
“I just won two club championships, not even senior, two regular club championships,” Trump said on the debate stage in response to a question about his age and fitness. “To do that, you have to be quite smart, and you have to be able to hit the ball a long way. And I do it. He doesn’t do it.
“He can’t hit a ball 50 yards,” the former president continued. “He challenged me to a golf match. He can’t hit a ball 50 yards.”
“Look, I’d be happy to have a driving contest with him,” Biden said in response. “I got my handicap, which, when I was vice president, down to a 6.”
“And by the way, I told you before I’m happy to play golf if you carry your own bag. Think you can do it?”
This bravado from Biden echoes a post made to the president’s X account earlier in the year enthusiastically challenging Trump to face him on the links.
Any man vs man contest is a dick measuring contest.
It turned out that Biden pussed out. I’ll cut him slack on his health, but he’s been a braggart all his life and now he gets called to the mat and can’t back up his bravado talk.
The real contest is who has the biggest balls here, and I’m going with Trump
I became enamored with this contest by phenom eater Kobayashi, a skinny kid from Japan who revolutionized competitive eating. It also grosses out my wife. That means I’ve been watching for decades.
Kobayashi was defeated by Joey Chestnut who will not defend his championship this year because of a conflict with the sponsor, Nathan’s hot dogs and others (see below). I’ll still watch, but we will be in the 30 or 40 dog range to win, versus the 60 to76 that we’ve been treated to by Chestnut.
his Fourth of July, Joey Chestnut will be doing what Joey Chestnut does better than any human being alive:
Eating hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog…
And on and on, down the hatch, with stunning pace and a strange sort of grace.
Chestnut—aka “Jaws,” the Michael Jordan of competitive eating, the Picasso of Pork, the Federer of Frankfurters, the GOAT of bloat, a man who once ate a world record 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes—will spend the holiday competing casually alongside members of the U.S. military at Fort Bliss in Texas in a quickly-assembled event airing on his YouTube channel.
Though Chestnut is honored for the opportunity, the stunning news is where the 40-year-old won’t be–parked at a table outside Nathan’s Famous in Coney Island, N.Y., dominating a legendary hot dog eating contest he has won a staggering 16 times.
“Bittersweet,” Chestnut told me in an interview this week.
Behind Chestnut’s absence is a dispute involving his nascent relationship with Impossible Foods, the plant-based food maker. The partnership chafed the powers behind Major League Eating and the Nathan’s Famous competition, who felt Chestnut was getting cozy with a rival.
So Chestnut is out, casting a footlong shadow over the annual beachside showdown—and riling a fan base that can’t believe the iconic competition will happen without its signature stomach.
No Joey Chestnut in Coney Island on the Fourth of July? It’s like asking a bald eagle to stay home in the nest.
“Stop being such weenies!” New York City mayor Eric Adams wrote in a pun-tastic tweet.
“The entire country’s [expletive] bummed,” said ESPN’s biceps curl Cronkite Pat McAfee. “I don’t even know if people are going to light off fireworks now.”
“Let the guy suck down dogs!” McAfee pleaded.
Chestnut, who won his first Nathan’s event in 2007 and parlayed his talent into global fame and a full-time occupation, sounded plenty bummed by the conflict. He doesn’t see his relationship with Impossible Foods as a deal-breaker–he’s still a devoted carnivore who sees plant-based food as a supplement to his meat diet, not a replacement.
He compared it to Tom Brady endorsing Under Armour cleats and also Ugg boots–an interesting choice, given that Tom Brady would sooner eat an Adirondack chair than a meaty hot dog.
“You can eat meat and you can also eat plant-based meat,” Chestnut said. “I feel like that should be OK with people.”
Impossible Foods had no issues with Chestnut consuming meat products at the Nathan’s event–or anywhere else, said the company’s CEO, Peter McGuinness.
“He’s a flexitarian,” McGuinness said. “He is our target audience. We’re not a vegan company and we need to be appealing to meat eaters.”
Major League Eating’s president, Richard Shea, echoed Chestnut’s term to describe the situation: bittersweet. The issue was a brand conflict, he said. He went on to rave about Chestnut’s talent and indelible mark on the annual competition, which is televised by ESPN.
“We love Joey, we wish he was there, we support his choice and think it’s a cool tribute, what he’s doing with the troops in Texas,” Shea said. “He’s a great champion.”
After the initial dust-up, MLE and Nathan’s Famous offered to put aside their issues and allow Chestnut to participate in 2024 – but the offering couldn’t bring the hot dog Hoover vac back to the table.
The relationship may need further repair. Chestnut believed his team was still negotiating when the controversy spilled into view with a Major League Eating statement that they were “devastated” at Chestnut’s decision to partner with “a rival brand that sells plant-based hot dogs.”
Having the impasse go public felt like a gut-punch to Chestnut, the contest’s most identifiable winner, long ago surpassing the competitive eating godfather Takeru Kobayashi of Japan.
“It’s hard to rebuild trust once bridges have been burned a little bit,” Chestnut said.
Chestnut trains like an endurance athlete, with vigorous eating sessions to prepare him to push his physical limits. He practices breathing techniques to stay calm and loose and even asks people to come yell at him in practice to try and simulate a noisy contest environment.
The champion felt on pace for a potentially record-setting Fourth of July.
“It was definitely my best training in years,” he said.
While consuming even a half dozen hot dogs would curl me into a fetal ball for a month, Chestnut said he’s in good health. He said he gets his blood regularly checked, and that his doctor remains comfortable with his career choice.
“He told me whatever I’m doing, I can keep doing it,” Chestnut said.
After the event at Fort Bliss, Chestnut will turn his attention to a brand-new event–a showdown with storied rival Kobayashi to be shown on Netflix. Billed as “Chestnut vs. Kobayashi: Unfinished Beef” the mano-a-mano gulletpalooza will go down on Labor Day, Sept. 2.
“I want to make him uncomfortable and he wants to make me uncomfortable,” Chestnut pledged.
As for a future return to Coney Island, the champ is trying to stay optimistic.
Can it really be the Fourth of July without Joey Chestnut dogging dogs near the Brooklyn boardwalk?
“I love that contest,” said the hot dog gawd. “I would do anything reasonable to make it back there.”
Take Cher, Samuel L Jackson, Meathead, Whoopi, Clooney, De Niro, Alec Baldwin and the rest of them with you. I’m sure Elon has enough money to pay. Take some other America haters with you.
For years, college football fans had to resort to tailgating for their pre-game beers, as NCAA rules and various state laws prevented the sale of alcohol inside stadiums. This changed gradually as universities recognized the potential for increased revenue and improved fan experience.
The NCAA began relaxing its stance and by the mid-2010s several schools started to pilot beer sales during games. Today, a significant number of stadiums have embraced this change, though prices can vary dramatically.
As a byproduct many of the nation’s most difficult environments to play in have become all the more ruckus given the inclusion of alcohol.
Let’s break down the most and least expensive beers available in college football stadiums, as highlighted in a recent tweet by @CFBRep.
Most Expensive Beers According to @CFBRep
Tennessee Volunteers
Price: $13 per beer
You had to expect that an SEC program would come in first place, and it did.
UCLA Bruins and the Colorado Buffs
Price: $12 per beer
Minnesota Gold Gophers and Rutgers Scarlet Knights
Price: $11 per beer
The Big Ten has two teams tied for third, both coming in north of $10/beer. If you’re in Minneapolis be sure to pair cheese curds with your beer…oh and dress in layers.
Arkansas Razorbacks, USC Trojans, Oregon St. Beavers, NC State Wolfpack, Syracuse Orange, Virginia Tech Hokies, Purdue Boilermakers and Illinois Fighting Illini.
Please Lord, don’t let them ruin this. At least it’s Mel Brooks.
A sequel to the 1987 Mel Brooks monster hit “Star Wars” parody “Spaceballs” is in the works, with actor Josh Gad and Brooks on board producing the upcoming film.
Amazon MGM Studios confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter that a sequel to the 1980s comedy is in early development with Gad not only on board to produce, but star in as well.
The script is being written by Dan Hernandez, Benji Samit, and Gad, with Josh Greenbaum helming the project, the outlet noted.
Details of the plot are being kept under wraps for now with Kevin Salter on board as executive producer.
“Spaceballs” came out from MGM a decade after George Lucas introduced the world to the Force in “Star Wars” in the late 1970s.
The parody’s cast included such up-and-coming stars of the time as John Candy, Rick Moranis, Bill Pullman, and Daphne Zuniga. And the C-3PO parody character was voiced by the late-star Joan Rivers.
This comes from my writings in 2020. It’s unedited and I read it and say yep, that’s marriage. I have this conversation frequently. Just change out the subject to anything or anybody and it goes about the same.
Here is my day. (Wife or T) Which chicken should we get out? Me: get out the one in the package. T: but they are too big. Me: then get out the other one. T: but they won’t work will they? Me: use whatever you want. T: but which chicken should I get out? Me: whatever works, it’s chicken. T: what do you think I should use. Me: (to myself: whatever the fuck you want, you aren’t listening anyway) You asked me and I told you and you don’t want to do it so look in the freezer and get out some chicken. T: but you bought them and I thought you bought another one. Me: look in the freezer and find the right one (about to shoot myself).
I never knew which chicken we got out. I knew it didn’t matter.
I’m not Jewish, but when I lived in South Florida, the guys told me this one. Why do Jewish Husbands die first?
I find this hilarious that the green washing of everything gets exposed for it’s triviality compared to creature comforts. If it was real, they’d actually do something effective.
More than three thousand Olympians are expected to bring portable air-conditioning units to the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris this summer, derailing France’s efforts to go green by not providing AC in the Athletes’ Village, The Washington Post reported Thursday.
The International Olympic Committee’s decision to substitute air-conditioning for a less reliable but more environmentally friendly geothermal cooling system is central to their strategy to cut the carbon footprint of the Paris Games by half, Reuters reported. However, many visiting nations, concerned lack of AC will result in reduced sleep and poor athletic performance, are opting to import portable AC units, according to the Washington Post.
If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?
Since I’m in the real world, I’m happy with who I am.
But since the question was asked when I could be the guy that saves the world or the universe, there you go. If you can be a superhero at it, that’s just icing on the cake.
It is from the species Adelotypa annulifera or latin for ungrateful dickhead.
I have no idea if this is right or not. I’m not even going to put it through the Latin translator. It’s because my level of humor lets me get the joke that there really could be a Latin name, especially because I know so many in this species.
Actually, this came from some old writings of mine and I was talking about one of my wife’s relatives. I have many that are in this species. It’s why I avoid family stuff as much as I can.
Someone just pulled up to the Donald Trump hush money trial outside Manhattan Criminal Court in a UHaul and released dozens of pink balloons in the shape of male genitalia with the faces of DA Alvin Bragg, Judge Juan Merchan, and Special Counsel Jack Smith on them. pic.twitter.com/cnXrxEYLXU
Looking back at what their graduates have achieved.
The Super Bowl will kick off a new marketing era for Bud Light, and a woman is at the helm for this new direction.
Alissa Heinerscheid, vice president of marketing for Bud Light, is the first woman to ever lead the popular brand.
“As the first woman to lead the biggest beer brand in the world, it’s an amazing opportunity to really evolve and elevate Bud Light, this brand I love,” says Heinerscheid.
The Bud Light commercial, which will air during the Super Bowl, features actor Miles Teller and his wife Keleigh, and it’s called “Hold,” as Keleigh is facing a situation people everywhere do – being on hold on the phone.
Michelle Solis, 46, pled no contest after being accused of raping a 14-year-old student on the child’s eighth grade graduation day in 2021.
A press release from District Attorney Mike Ramsey indicated that Solis, who was a 20-year veteran educator, raped the 14-year-old inside a locked classroom on graduation day, Daily Mail reported. Solis also allegedly sent explicit photos to the boy which “made their way back to local parents,” facilitating the investigation by police.
Solis, who was the boy’s teacher at the middle school, “friended” him on Instagram a few weeks prior to his graduation. Records indicate that was the start of her inappropriate relationship in which she allegedly sent him four inappropriate images. Then, on the day of his graduation from Sycamore Junior High School in northern California, she raped him.”
Not once did a teacher ever try this in any school that I knew of. Hell, I had a crush on my German teacher. Why didn’t she try it? She was about 25 at the time. I wouldn’t have fought back
Being an introvert, I tend to notice a lot of details about people. I’m at the gym a few times a week and thanks to my health plan, I belong to multiple gyms. These observations are the same though.
CLOTHES AND DRESSING
No matter what the media tries to tell us about gender identity, males are distinctly different than females (no shit Sherlock). It’s a fashion show for the girls. They dress up in multiple layers, wear makeup and are far more concerned about their looks than the guys.
Sure, I occasionally catch a meathead trying to see how big his biceps are in the mirror, but they check out their form. Girls are looking at their hair, asses, outfits and other girls who might be the competition for best dressed, prettiest or some other bauble more desirable than what they are wearing.
Speaking of clothes, I can tell just how far a girl is into her workout by the state of her clothes. They mostly start with some form of sweats covering up everything. It is still somewhat suggestive as a shoulder is showing or the top is cut to the midriff, but mostly it is discreet to start.
As the workout progresses, various layers of clothes come off. I get that you work up a sweat, but the truth is that most of them are looking at their phone or talking more than working out (except on the cardio machines). Not a one of them has a bead of sweat on them and the a/c is close to meat locker in there. It is part of the show. So full sweats, just starting. Just the sweat top, mid workout. If they are down to their matching top and bottom, accessorized with matching socks, shoes, phone, scrunchie, earphones and other, it’s near the end or over 30 minutes into their routine.
Let me say that there is no way they don’t know they are putting on a show. They look at themselves far too much for it not to be. Frequently, the outfits are so small and revealing that constant adjustment must be made to not let something slip out. Their clothes aren’t hiding anything anymore anyway.
The guys are likely to come in wearing anything. It’s in levels of fashion spanning decades of styles with matching unkempt hair. They do rival the girls for most tattoo’s though. Looking their best is not at the top of the list of most of the guys I notice.
I’m in a college town and these girls are in the prime of their lives. Their bodies are in shape just for waking up. Time will take it’s toll on them like it does with everyone, but this is the best they are going to be.
LEARNING HOW TO USE YOUR BODY, EXPERIENCE IS EVERYTHING
It’s a shame that life is the way it is. You haven’t explored your abilities or learned enough about what you can do to make the most of yourself. Take sex for example. Just because you have one set of equipment or the other doesn’t mean you know how to use it yet. It takes practice and discovery to really be good at it. Very few who look their best are good in the sack. Conversely, when you figure most things out about you and how to take care of the other person, you’ve used up the years where you were in your prime without knowing it. I digress.
I listen to some of the conversations (because I can’t drown it out with my noise cancelling earbuds) and the discussion is benign and childish. It’s the same thing with your sex equipment. Just because you look great and have what guys want certainly doesn’t make you smart or interesting. I wonder to myself if I was stuck with one of these girls, what the hell would I even be able to talk about. I can’t listen to their droning on about their inexperienced and uneducated lives. The depth of their knowledge wouldn’t cover your feet in the pool of life. It hasn’t happened enough to them in life to really know about much yet. Once they learn, the prime of their physical life is over.
I’m not giving a lot of the guys a pass either, but they don’t talk much so it’s mostly about what set they are on and what body part they are working on. It gives no indication of their education or ability to be interesting conversationally.
The other thing I like to notice is who people remind me of. Nearly every time I’m there, I see someone who reminds me of a person I’ve met in life. I give them names in my head of that person. It also makes me think of how they will look when life takes it’s toll on their bodies and looks. Who is going to get an expanding back porch. Who is getting a gut. Who’s hair is falling out and what other ailment is going to happen when they get older.
People are interesting. I’d rather look at them than talk to them it seems. The gym is certainly the place for people watching. If I was busy talking, I’d never stop to notice or think about these things, but that is the introvert life.
When I say hell, of course I mean Portland. It’s a shithole now. Oregon is beautiful, but for some reason all the shit not in California or Washington is in Portland. It’s the required trip to the family.
All I hear or read is about problems with Boeing jets, DEI in Air Traffic Control and parts falling off of jets because maintenance workers require diversity. I don’t want to get on a plane, but there is no way out. I figured the statistics are with me and if some shit does go down, my rare flights should exempt me.
When I get there, I’ll get to deal with a city rampaged by Antifa, BLM and many other miscreants. Other than SF, it is the homeless capital of the world, not to mention walking on the streets to the freak show and shit on the sidewalks.
I’ve scheduled some posts and meme’s to enjoy, including stories and observations of mine. It’s a look into my head when I put these out. I’ll cover introverts, the gym fashion show, sibling hell, lots of meme dumps and other stuff.
I may get a post in about my adventures while there, but no promises. Maybe I’ll keep some readers, like Ellie K, a new subscriber. With all the shit I post, I’m surprised she’s still there, but there you go.
Delusions of Adequacy 