- When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
- Blaming your farts on me…not funny.
- Yelling at me for barking…I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG!! I’M SUPPOSED TO
- How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn’t all over everything
while you’re gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little
like cat butt?)
- Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly
who’s walk is this anyway?
- Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose…stop it.
- Yelling at me for dragging my butt on your carpet. Why’d you buy
- Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I
haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
- How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth,
you’re just jealous.
- Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?.
- Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew
your stuff up when you’re not home.
- When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far
behind schedule that puts me?
- Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”, then acting surprised when I
freak out every time we go back.
- The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud
moment for the top of the food chain!
- Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us?