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Sayings by Will Rogers

November 28, 2005

Here are some very interesting rules to live by. Don’t think you have to be a cowboy to read this. Number 4 has worked best for me.

1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman…neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put
it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the
electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.
10. If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every
now and then to make sure it’s still there.
11. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n
puttin’ it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he
started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot
him.
The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

ABOUT GROWING OLDER…

First – Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age and start bragging about it.
Second – The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in
line for.
Third – Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I
want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and
some of the roads weren’t paved.
Fourth – When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to
youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth – You know you are getting old when everything either dries
up or leaks.
Sixth – I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to
the top.
Seventh – One of the many things no one tells you about aging is
that it is such a nice change from being young.
Eighth – One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day
has been.
Ninth – Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth – Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks,
it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

And finally – If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t
have anything to laugh at when you are old.

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From → humor

One Comment
  1. if i could get 4 down i would be golden..

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