Mauerbauertraurigheit – Pulling Away From Groups or Others; An Introvert Issue That Others Should Respect

Here’s the definition.

Mauerbauertraurigkeit (n.) – the inexplicable urge to push people away.


This doozy of a word may add an extra dimension to our socially exhausted state. Mauerbauertraurigkeit means:
β€œThe inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like β€” as if all your social taste buds suddenly went numb, leaving you unable to distinguish cheap politeness from the taste of genuine affection, unable to recognize its rich and ambiguous flavors, its long and delicate maturation, or the simple fact that each tasting is double-blind.”

I’m not sure if this is a true psychological condition that is being taught or is proven like the Theory of General Relativity, but I know it is true.

Recently, it happened to me and I pulled out of some things I was doing. Partly it was Covid and partly it was Mauerbauertraurigkeit. There were different reasons, but remember I’m a patterns in life guy. I notice when it happens.

It’s happened to me all my life. I can’t stay with a group for much more than a couple of years. It depends on how obsessed I am with what I’m doing as to how much I’ll put up with before I have to go. I was socially and emotionally exhausted and my will just forced me away. It was if I was watching what was happening and couldn’t (and didn’t want to) stop it.

As it turns out, all the groups I left were for a good reason and were the right decisions in aftermath, but at the time I was socially overwhelmed. The realization that I was free from the social obligations that kill me inside, little by little was blissfully comforting.

Normally, Covid would have been a problem as I wouldn’t have to go to groups I didn’t want to. Unfortunately, they invented Zoom and those of us who actually need body language to read people can’t.

Fortunately, I live a whole different life in my head as do most Introverts so I go there many times during Zoom. If I’m on mute, I probably muted not thinking about what was on the call.

I will say this, most extroverts are not polite about this and want to include you on all of their tedious activities, and want to know why you don’t want to do everything with everybody. They literally force me away because they want to be all up into my stuff. I suffered at work from this until I found ways to get out of social activities.

The answer and I guess the moral is when I’ve had enough, either for the day or for life, I have to get away and I can’t help it. I leave and never come back usually.

I can’t be alone on this. A lot of people are overwhelmed socially.

I imagine some people think they were ghosted, when in fact the person couldn’t help themself from pulling away.