Back in my dating years, I had a one with a girl named Shayna who basically picked me up at the Cricket Club in Miami. The next morning I caught shit for not cooking her eggs runny. I knew that was the end of that as soon as the words came out.

The moral of the story, don’t bitch or be a nag (she claimed she was being a JAP, whatever)

We didn’t text back then, but if we did, this was it.