Yo Momma Jokes and Meme’s

The last time I posted this category, someone got offended that I would make fun of my mother. I didn’t make fun of my mother and they missed the entire point. I’m making fun of my friend’s mothers, the way the jokes have always been. It’s sarcasm, not the theory of relativity.

I’m pretty sure that reader is gone now, but it’s not going to stop me from posting sarcasm and stuff that’s funny if you stop being stuffy. I’ve chased off lots of readers, but I still post stuff I think is funny and stuff I’ve said. In this case, it was probably in middle school.

Making Childish Jokes About Lawyer’s Names

You have to know Phil McCraken is a butt crack joke. Hiscock should have just changed his name

For all the names, here is your song that says them all. Seymour Butts, Jack N. Off, Stu Pedaso…their all in here

I’m looking for a big dick smoker.

Me, Being Childish In The Store

I absolutely would do this. I’m just pissed I haven’t thought of it before.

hat tip wirecutter

The cashier could be male or female (still the only genders science can prove) and they will judge you by the size you pick. Think about that.

And You Think Your Job Sucks and No, I Couldn’t Keep a Straight Face

Not a chance I wouldn’t play with these and laugh my ass off. I’d also be reported to HR within minutes for some inappropriate joke. It would be worth it.

I wonder if these ladies take work home with them?

Vegans Arguing, Is It a Beef?

I know someone who just went vegan and sure enough, I get to hear all about it. I don’t really care what anyone eats other than me so I’ll skip any vegan jokes here. You don’t have to tell everyone you see that you are vegan. We’ll see it soon enough anyway, or smell it.

I drew the line at asparagus for breakfast though. No, just no.

Saturday Humor – Fixing The Name of The Washington NFL Team

Read the title, this is humor and tongue in cheek at that.  Don’t take it any other way.  I don’t care if they re-name the team the Washington Team, but that doesn’t preclude me from making fun of the situation because someone sent me this and I think it is a clever play on words.

The world has bigger problems than this so try and have a laugh, then move along.

Sayings That Sound Dirty But Aren’t

TOP TEN LEGAL SAYINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT AREN’T

Have you looked through her briefs?

He is one hard judge!

Counselor, let’s do it in chambers.

Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.

Is it a penal offense?

Better leave the handcuffs on.

For $200 an hour, she better be good!

Can you get him to drop his suit?

The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

Think you can get me off?

***************

TOP TEN GOLF SAYINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT AREN’T

Damn, my shaft is bent.

After 18 holes, I can barely walk.

You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.

Look at the size of his putter.

Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.

Mind if I join your threesome?

Stand with your back turned and drop it.

My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.

Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.

And of course the list wouldn’t be complete without this……

Hold on, I need to wash my balls first.