Tag: introversion

15 Things You Should Never Do to Your Introverted Partner

1. Don’t force them to socialize beyond their comfort level.

Introverts need downtime to recharge their energy. Forcing them to socialize beyond what feels comfortable for them can leave them feeling drained and exhausted. For example, if you guilt-trip your introverted partner into attending two big events in one weekend, they might end up feeling tired and stressed.

So, respect their boundaries and give them the time and space they need to recharge their energy. Maybe the two of you agree to drive separately so your partner can leave when their social battery is reaching empty. Or maybe they’ll sit this event out, but go to another one in the future that’s more important to you.

2. Don’t make them feel guilty for wanting to spend time alone.

Everyone needs downtime to recharge their energy and process their thoughts and emotions — especially introverts. When they want to be alone, it’s not about you. Introverts are simply wired differently than extroverts; you can read the science behind why introverts love alone time here.

Sometimes extroverts make off-hand comments that make introverts feel guilty: “Don’t you enjoy spending time with me?” or “I never have a problem hanging out with you, why is it so hard for you to do the same?” They don’t realize that saying these things can hurt their relationship.

If you find yourself doing this, try to understand your partner’s need for solitude and support them. If the two of you live together, you could help them create an “introvert zen zone” or sanctuary in your home — a place that they can retreat to as needed. 

3. Give them space when they’re in the middle of a task. 

When introverts are working on a task, like looking up information or meticulously planning the meals for the week, they tend to focus deeply. And many of them thrive when doing this deep work. Interrupting them when they’re in the middle of something can be frustrating for them. So, be patient and wait for a time when they’re more available. Or wait until they take a break and seek you out.

4. Don’t push them to be more talkative or expressive.

Introverts tend to express themselves a little differently than extroverts. For example, they might prefer writing a thoughtful text over having a face-to-face conversation about serious topics. They might be quiet in large groups, especially when they’re around people who they don’t know well (like a gathering of your extended relatives).

So, don’t push your partner to be more talkative or expressive than they’re comfortable with. Don’t say things like, “Why are you so quiet?” or “Come on, join the conversation, everyone’s waiting to hear from you.” Believe me, they’ll talk when they’re ready. Usually, this will happen around close friends and loved ones.

5. Don’t assume they’re not interested in spending time with you just because they enjoy different activities.

Introverts often prefer spending time alone or with small groups rather than with many people at once. But… they are still interested in spending time with you. Otherwise, they would not be with you!

Keep in mind that they may enjoy more low-key introvert-friendly activities, such as walking, watching a movie, or having a quiet dinner together vs. checking out the bustling new restaurant. Please don’t take their preference for more peaceful activities as a lack of interest in spending time with you.

6. Don’t criticize them for not being more outgoing. 

Similar to #4, criticizing your introverted partner for not being more social can be hurtful and make them feel inadequate. Introversion is a healthy personality trait that cannot be changed. Yes, your partner can grow and learn — perhaps they need to learn to communicate better — but introversion is in their DNA, so they’ll always have a general preference for quiet and calm. Expecting someone to act against their true nature is unfair.

Instead of criticizing them, appreciate them for who they are. You fell in love with them for a reason, right? 

7. Don’t assume their quietness means they’re mad or bored. 

For some people, sitting quietly side by side might seem boring or uncomfortable. However, for introverts, this situation often has a different feel. Silence doesn’t necessarily signify discomfort or boredom; rather, it’s a space where introverts feel at ease. Allow your introverted partner to just be, to relax quietly in your company. It’s a meaningful way to connect and show understanding of their needs.

8. Don’t assume they’re not enjoying themselves just because they’re not showing it outwardly. 

Similar to the point above, don’t assume your introverted partner is not having a good time just because they’re not expressing it as much as you may be. They just might prefer to express themselves in quieter, more subtle ways. 

9. Don’t expect them to be the life of the party. 

Introverts might be uncomfortable being the center of attention and entertaining others. Don’t expect them to be the life of the party or continuously make small talk, if you, say, have guests in your shared home or go away with friends for the weekend. Instead, appreciate their presence and the contributions they make in their own way. If you have a dinner party, for instance, they might be great at listening attentively to guests and making sure everyone is comfortable. 

10. Don’t assume they’re not interested in making friends or meeting new people. 

Just because someone is an introvert doesn’t mean they don’t want to make friends or meet new people. They just might prefer to do so in smaller settings or through shared interests rather than in large social gatherings. Introverts don’t consider everyone to be their friend (as extroverts might), and that’s okay!

11. Don’t make them feel abnormal for being an introvert. 

Introversion is not weird or abnormal. Plus, 30 to 50 percent of the population may be introverted, so it’s hardly rare!

Think about the strengths your introverted partner brings to your relationship. For example, they might be excellent listeners, offering you their undivided attention when you talk about your day. They often think deeply before speaking, which means their words and advice are usually well-considered and insightful. Introverts also tend to enjoy meaningful one-on-one conversations, which can strengthen the emotional connection in your relationship. And, their love of quiet, low-key environments can create a peaceful, calming atmosphere at home.

12. Don’t guilt them into participating in activities that require a lot of small talk. 

Making introverts participate in activities that require a lot of small talk can be overwhelming and exhausting for them. Allow them to join in their own way or for them to opt-out altogether. Respect their boundaries and preferences. After all, you two can find other activities that appeal to both of you. And the two of you do not have to do everything together.

13. Don’t expect them to be as spontaneous as you might be. 

Introverts may not be as spontaneous as extroverts, and that’s perfectly fine. They may prefer to plan activities (they’re great planners!) and take time to thoroughly consider all the options. Don’t expect them to be more spontaneous than they’re comfortable with. That can be your department.

14. Don’t assume they’re not good communicators just because they’re introverted. 

Introverts may not communicate in the same way as extroverts, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t good communicators. In fact, they can be pros at reading body language, noticing subtle changes in someone’s facial expression or tone of voice, which helps them understand unspoken feelings or concerns. Introverts are also typically good at written communication; they may craft you well-articulated texts or love letters.

15. Don’t judge them if they need to be alone after a social event.

After social events, introverts might need to be alone to recharge their batteries. So, don’t expect them to be up for another social event immediately after a big party or gathering. Or, they might not want to go out for dinner right after a day filled with meetings and socializing at work.

Again, don’t take their need for alone time as a sign of rejection or disinterest. Instead, give them this time, and know they’ll have more energy afterwards.

Source

12 Reasons to Celebrate Introverts on World Introvert Day (Jan. 2)

Why We Should Celebrate Introverts By Jenn Granneman

1. Introverts really know their stuff.

I have an introverted friend who is basically a walking encyclopedia of Celtic myth. For example, if you ask him about the hero Cú Chulainn, he can not only tell you how he died, but also what kind of chariot he drove around in. Listening to him talk, I’ve found myself thinking, “Wow, he really knows his stuff!”

That’s because many introverts love learning and adding to their vast stores of specialized knowledge. It’s no surprise they often become experts in their field.

2. Introverts are problem-solvers and idea generators.

Introverts tend to gravitate toward working alone. Rather than chatting in the break room, we’re often the ones sitting at our desks, quietly turning ideas over and over in our minds. And there’s a big benefit to this. When you’re with other people, your brain is forced to multitask. Even if you’re not talking with someone, part of your attention is occupied just by their mere presence, research suggests.

When you’re alone, you can clear your mind and focus your thoughts. All this deep, concentrated thinking can lead to novel solutions and brilliant ideas. Working alone can even lead to more ideas. “Decades of research have consistently shown that brainstorming groups think of far fewer ideas than the same number of people who work alone and later pool their ideas,” according to psychologist Keith Sawyer.

So forget the brainstorming group. Take a cue from introverts and spend some time in solitude.

3. Give up? Not yet.

Speaking of problem-solving, introverts tend to stick with problems longer — well past when everyone else has moved on to another topic or gone home for the day. Albert Einstein, the world-renowned physicist who developed the theory of relativity, was probably an introvert. He said, “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

4. Introverts make better team players than extroverts over the long run.

Corinne Bendersky and her colleagues found that while extroverts make great first impressions, they may disappoint us over time when they’re part of a team. Their “value and reputation at work diminish over time,” explains Bendersky. “On a team, you’re expected to work hard and contribute a lot. But they’re often poor listeners, and they don’t collaborate.”

Ouch.

Introverts, on the other hand, may work harder on a team because they tend to be conscientious; they don’t want to be seen as not pulling their weight. So, while companies may initially be attracted to extroverts, bosses should remember that introverts pack a powerful (yet understated) punch.

5. Introverts are capable of incredible depth and intimacy in their relationships.

We “quiet ones” have a penchant for quality, one-on-one time and deep conversations. Instead of talking about the weather or what you did this weekend, we want to peek into your inner world. What have you learned lately? How are your ideas evolving? How are you really? When you have an introvert in your life, you may experience emotional intimacy like never before.

6. Introverts know the power of words.

As the nickname suggests, we “quiet ones” tend to listen more than we talk and think carefully before we speak. We try to choose our words thoughtfully because we understand that once said, words can’t be retracted or easily forgotten.

7. Introverts are low maintenance.

You can leave an introvert alone for hours (or even days!), and we’ll be content to do our own thing. No need to constantly text us, check in on us, or “babysit” us.

Why? Because introverts tend to be self-starters, and many of us are drawn to working quietly and steadily on our own. In fact, you’ll probably only hear from us if we have a problem we can’t fix (and believe me, we’ve tried solving it a dozen times before coming to you). Similarly, we don’t need constant praise, gold stars, and shoutouts in the company newsletter (although sure, those things are appreciated). If we’re working hard, we’re likely drawing motivation from within.

8. Introverts can be the calm in the center of the storm.

Reserved and often self-contained, introverts are known for exuding calm — even when there’s a storm raging inside us. We’re often the ones quietly creating an action plan while everyone else is stressing over the company’s latest policy change. And in this way, our methodical approach to chaos benefits everyone.

9. Introverts “get” you.

Although it may seem counterintuitive, solitude can actually help you connect better with others. Why? Because spending time alone — which introverts love — may enhance our empathy, especially for people outside our typical social group, according to research. Being alone often involves reflecting on our actions, beliefs, and experiences, which helps us develop a deeper understanding and stronger empathy for others.

10. Introverts look before they leap.

Compared to extroverts, introverts generally prefer a slower, more deliberate pace of life, and this difference stems from the way our brains are wired. Many of us hate rushing into things; whenever possible, we take time to consider all potential outcomes before making a decision. This applies to our careers, personal lives, and relationships.

For example, one study found that extroverts may jump into a new relationship more quickly than introverts. An Katrien Sodermans and her colleagues revealed that divorced extroverts were more likely than divorced introverts to remarry quickly. While this isn’t always the case, hastily made decisions — such as committing to a new relationship before fully healing from the last one — can sometimes lead to regret later on.

11. Introverts create worlds inside their heads — and help create the world we live in.

Introverts are artists, actors, musicians, entertainers, writers, and more. Famous creative introverts include Lady Gaga (she has said, “I generally really keep to myself and I am focused on my music.”), Bob Dylan, Meryl Streep, Lorde, Audrey Hepburn, and more. David Bowie is also thought to have been an introvert; experts believe he coped with his anxiety and introverted nature by developing various stage personas. Even the “King of Rock and Roll,” Elvis Presley, was described by his friends as a “loner” and “introverted.”

There are so many famous creative introverts that it’s impossible to name them all here! Just a few more examples include Steven Spielberg, Shonda Rhimes, David Letterman, Harrison Ford, Gwyneth Paltrow, Elton John, Emma Watson, and Tom Hanks… the list could go on.

12. Who runs the world? Introverts.

When we think of leadership, especially in the corporate world, words like “bold,” “overconfident,” and “selfish” may come to mind. But there’s a different kind of leader emerging: the quiet one. Today, about 40 percent of executives describe themselves as introverts, including Microsoft’s Bill Gates.

Gates believes that introverts can make great leaders because they know the value of being alone and focusing deeply. Speaking at an event in 2013, he said, “I think introverts can do quite well. If you’re clever you can learn to get the benefits of being an introvert, which might be, say, being willing to go off for a few days and think about a tough problem, read everything you can, push yourself very hard to think out on the edge of that area.”

Other introverted leaders include Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr., Barack Obama, Jill Biden, Eleanor Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln — and many others — as well as many of our greatest U.S. presidents.

Yes, introverts may be the quiet ones who eat lunch alone. They may also be the ones curled up at home with a good book, avoiding the party. But introverts are so much more than that. They are artists, visionaries, and leaders who bring quiet strength and understand the power of the inner journey.

Today — and every day — they deserve to be celebrated.

Source

So everyone celebrate together, separately, and alone. I disagree that Jill Biden and Barack Obama were leaders. They were power hungry people who shouldn’t be celebrated.

5 Survival Tips For Introverts Attending Large Events (plus my bonus)

5 Survival Tips for Introverts Attending Big, Crowded Events

ByEllie Matama December 19, 2025

An introvert walks through a crowded event

Big events or parties can become overwhelming for us introverts, so look for little ways to maintain your energy.

I have no problem socializing with my family or close friends. I am comfortable doing so because I have known them for a long time, and I interact with them just a few at a time. There’s no having-to-get-to-know-you period.

But it’s an entirely different matter to attend big, crowded gatherings where almost everyone is a stranger (hello, holiday parties or awkward job-related networking events). Sure, for a short amount of time, I can make small talk. Of course, I need to recharge my energy afterward.

Yet, in everyday life, social interactions are required. The good news is there are plenty of things you can do to maintain your energy as an introvert when you have to attend a crowded event. 

How Introverts Can Survive Crowded Events

1. Arrive early so you can pick the best spot.

One study found that about 20 percent of employees regularly arrive late to work. If you are an introvert, you can’t afford to be late for an event because people will notice your tardiness (hello, suddenly being the center of attention!). In addition, you may have to engage in unnecessary awkward interactions as you make your way to an available seat. Plus, you may have to explain your lateness later, which will further drain whatever energy you have left.

So arrive early and be prepared to stay for a while. When you arrive early, you can choose the best seat or standing spot for your needs. That way, you can still be alone among the crowd.

For example, find a seat or table on the fringes or near the back, which will enable you to move freely without having to ask people to move whenever you need to get out (i.e., escape to the bathroom). You could also choose a spot near the exit for the same purpose. 

2. Go with a “human shield,” a.k.a. your favorite extrovert or outgoing introvert.

As an introvert, you may find it challenging to interact with many people at once. But some people you know may actually like doing so. Your family members, friends, or your significant other may be more outgoing — and they may thrive in crowded situations. See if they’re willing to go to the event with you. This will enable you to talk less, since they will happily do most of the talking for you.

Or, you can go to the event with a colleague who enjoys socializing. There’s no shame in using them as a “human shield” while representing your company or department. While they schmooze with everyone, you can thoughtfully listen and pick up points for discussion later on (i.e., at the next company meeting).  

And, speaking of talking less…

3. Embrace your listening skills.

Remember: As an introvert, listening is one of your superpowers. We speak about 125 to 175 words a minute, but we’re able to listen to about 450 words a minute. Therefore, you’ll learn more by listening than by talking a lot. Also, when you aren’t talking, you can pay more attention to people’s body language, which can offer more information about their state of mind than what they actually say.

Plus, people feel understood and cared for when someone listens to them. So you may make a great first impression just by listening!

Once you’ve absorbed everything they’ve said, take the time to process it before adding your thoughts. That way, you’ll have something valuable to say based on all your gathered information.

Want to feel more at ease in social situations?

Discover the secrets to enjoying fun, meaningful conversations. Know exactly what to say — even if you’re introverted, shy, or socially anxious. Feel less drained and have more energy while socializing.

4. Look for small groups talking about topics you care about.

Even at the most crowded events, small groups tend to form because people with similar interests gravitate toward one another. That’s great news for introverts, as you’ll feel more at home if the topic is one you’re passionate about. Even if the group is talking about something similar to a topic you want to bring up, now’s your chance to change the subject to that one instead. And, when interacting in a small group, you won’t get socially burned out as quickly.

5. Block out the noise.

As an introvert, there may be times when you can’t take all the noise, small talk, or all the people anymore. But you also can’t leave the event… yet. In that case, you need a way to block out the noise.

You can do this in many ways: Listen to music or an audiobook (or just put on your earbuds to make it look like you’re listening to something or on a call; they’ll still help tune out some of the noise!); make an actual call; or excuse yourself to “step outside for a moment.” If you’re worried that these things will make you seem aloof or antisocial, remember that most people aren’t looking at you, anyway, and won’t even notice.

Yes, I know, having to attend crowded events and make small talk can be a nightmare for introverts. However, the more prepared you are, the more you’ll preserve your energy.

Source

Here’s my bonus: say no and don’t go. You won’t miss much, and your life will be better for it