Of course there is the golf joke about the guy who played a round with his buddies shouting and laughing. After the round as they headed to the parking lot, he told them at the end to not talk to him. When asked why, he said he’s told his wife he’s been deaf for 5 years and he didn’t want to spoil it.
The snow is finally gone (it did snow last week) and the local course opened, so I made my way out to the course. I had no one to make up a four or even a twosome, so I picked at time and figured I’d get stuck with someone.
Well, the tourists aren’t hear yet. The snow has melted and the skiers are gone. It turns out that it was supposed to rain that day so when I got to the course, the parking lot was empty. I knew my luck couldn’t hold so I went to the range and hit a bucket to warm up and then went to putt on the practice green. It is next to the first tee, so I knew that I could keep an eye on the traffic to get out with as few people in my group as possible.
As it turns out, no one showed up. Even the starter wasn’t there. I took the opportunity to jump on the tee and try for a solo round. Life was on my side and there weren’t golfers for many holes either side of me.
I played 18 hassle free and small talk free golf. I would have paid extra money for this freebie in life.
I’ll be out again this week and I’ll get paired up with someone the rest of the year, but it was a good start.
Looks like I’m starting out the year with a double digit handicap. Playing golf is my other handicap.
This is last week near the Blue Ridge Mountains.
This is yesterday, same golf course and same direction, but one hole apart. Notice the color change….I was +8 for the day BTW.
And don’t forget to mention to your foursome that there is a water hazard on the hole. One of them is bound to find it. They’ll do the rest.
I’m not fazed by water. Instead, I use it to my advantage.
I’ll get a brand new ball out to hit over the water and I try to hit first. Once safely over the water hazard I tell the other players not to worry about the water. Inevitably, one of them will hit it in and be pissed at me the rest of the day. I make sure to laugh at them on purpose.
These are the head games of golf. There are many. This one is just a fun one that will put you in the head of the player who hit the water, especially on the next water hole.
Enjoy the next time you do this. Hopefully it is early in the round so you can enjoy the day.
TOP TEN LEGAL SAYINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT AREN’T
Have you looked through her briefs?
He is one hard judge!
Counselor, let’s do it in chambers.
Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
Is it a penal offense?
Better leave the handcuffs on.
For $200 an hour, she better be good!
Can you get him to drop his suit?
The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
Think you can get me off?
***************
TOP TEN GOLF SAYINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT AREN’T
Damn, my shaft is bent.
After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
Look at the size of his putter.
Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
Mind if I join your threesome?
Stand with your back turned and drop it.
My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.
And of course the list wouldn’t be complete without this……
Hold on, I need to wash my balls first.
I’m starting to play golf with my son. I couldn’t help but think back on one of the best Golf and/or Comedy movies ever. The lines were hilarious and it was the breakout movie for Rodney. We shared the laughter by watching it together.
Best of all, it was filmed mostly at Rolling Hills Country Club in Pembroke Pines Florida, a course I played weekly when I lived there.
Here are the best of clips, enjoy.
Delusions of Adequacy 