I was dating what was to be my last girlfriend before I met my wife. Claudia.

We’d met through a mutual friend and I wasn’t seeing anyone so I was up for anything. My life at the time was on the go with travel, my last foray with alcohol and knowing life was going to catch up with me because I was the only one of my friends who hadn’t gotten married.

She was a piano teacher who lived half the week in Boca and the other in Miami (1.5 hours from Boca) to get her Ph.D. I had half the week off on my social calendar.

Why did I pick her for a girlfriend? I gave her a shot because she looked like a past girlfriend that I’m not sure I was over with in my head so we went out. They were way different so that moment passed by quickly.

To cut to the chase, 1 year became 2 and then I became bored. She was kind of a stiff out of the sack, but a pretty willing sport that gave me multiple options of places to put things in bed. I’d been pulling ass for many years and didn’t have the stamina to put up with girls’ verbal bullshit anymore. She, like all girls was afraid of her image to other people, including any shit that I pulled when I was with her. I was doing shit to her all the time because it was like dealing with a school girl as she’d lived such a sheltered life.

My level of boldness with pulling shit increased with how much I drank. At the time, it was a lot.

I got bored and had already gotten some side action on business trips and I noticed that it didn’t bother me guilt-wise. I actually never stopped sleeping with the last girl I broke up with before Claudia, We still banged the whole time I dated Claudia. She was away half the week so the ex sort of agreed to Friends With Benefits. She was secretary to the owner of the company, so as long as I was banging her, I found out the shit the company was doing.

The girl from are you this big of a bitch in Las Vegas was during my years with Claudia. It’s a good story also. She was way more bangable than Claudia.

THE BREAKUP MOVE

So with that being said, I already knew that she was not going to be the one for life for me. I stuck around a little while longer for some reason (until I had another pony in the stable).

I for some dumbass reason took her to my parents, 4 hours there, 4 hours back. She acted ok and probably thought this was the next step in the wedding staircase. She’s about to find out where the staircase just ends.

I’d been making this drive for over a decade mostly solo so I’ve had to stop. I’ve found that there are outcroppings by the side of the road. You can just stand on the other side of the bushes and pee and be back on the road quickly.

I’m old so there were no Truck stop mega stations at this time or even a convenience store at every exit. You could go a long time before a real bathroom would come up. I learned to give up the fight early, go piss in the grass and be on my way. I found that people are way past you before they realized what they saw, and by then they couldn’t find my dick with a telescope.

So told Claudia too late about this, meaning I had to piss now. I didn’t think anything of it as I’ve done it dozens of times. She lost her mind that someone would see me pissing and her in the car. First of all, they wouldn’t see her, and most of all, a good girlfriend would laugh it off as guy stuff we do. Not this time.

The net of what happened was I had to drive for more than 3 exits (not close to each other) before I found an old gas station. The outside roadside was way cleaner than this bathroom. I had to piss so bad by then that I was almost doubled over. I was livid with Claudia though.

The net of what happened to Claudia was at that point, she was done in my mind. Anyone who is going to give me that much shit over nothing wasn’t going to be worth listening to for the rest of my life.

I didn’t say a fucking word to her the rest of the way home and I’m not sure I stayed with her that night. Girls can’t take it so she called. I told her my offer was dating part time because I was through in my head and if she wanted to bang on the side I’d do it. Her response, thinking that I’d back down was full time or no time. I said no time then and got off the phone quickly. I’d either lose that argument or waste too much time listening to crying bullshit.

You can only push a man so far, then he will stop, break, or deal with you. I dealt with her and shortly thereafter met my now wife. Since she’s European, they don’t care if you change clothes outside or even wear them at the beach so while I catch some married shit, it’s not about this.

So Claudia lost me by giving me too much shit about taking a leak by the side of the road.

On the other hand, her husband can thank me for teaching her how to swallow.