The Most Dangerous Toys Of All Time

I had a lot of these growing up and made them more dangerous if possible. Instructions? If I read them, it didn’t mean I followed them.

Where were our parents? They bought us these killers and told us to go outside and play. I never had supervision other than don’t hurt the other kids, which was the point of all our games anyway.

I never had a Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab with real radiation.

In 1951, A.C. Gilbert introduced his U-238 Atomic Energy Lab, a radioactive learning set we can only assume was fun for the whole math club. Gilbert, who Americanmemorabilia claims was “often compared to Walt Disney for his creative genius,” had a dream that nuclear power could capture the imaginations of children everywhere. For a mere $49.50, the kit came complete with three “very low-level” radioactive sources, a Geiger-Mueller radiation counter, a Wilson Cloud Chamber (to see paths of alpha particles), a Spinthariscope (to see “live” radioactive disintegration), four samples of Uranium-bearing ores, and an Electroscope to measure radioactivity.

Here are the rest of the 10. If you don’t have the time, lawn darts IS on the list and I threw them at other kids and had them thrown at me.

Now, the Karen’s of the world have ruined the fun, or tried to make it woke.

Lawn Darts And Dodgeball, Life’s Video Games

I loved lawn darts. It’s like eating a tootsie roll pop. You always bite it. With lawn darts, you take maybe 2 throws at the circle and then you are aiming at the other kids. Now, micro aggression’s need safe spaces in case I hurt you with an incorrect pronoun or say a forbidden word. How sad it is that you can become so shallow that words thrown childishly and generally out of context hurt you.

Now for dodgeball. They don’t let kids play it because the unwritten rules are kill the fat kids and girls first as they are the slowest and easiest to hit. It’s why lions kill the slowest in the heard. They are the ones that got a good game banned because they couldn’t win. Note: This game is a good lesson in life, survival, awareness and loyalty.

Loyalty in dodgeball? Yes. When it’s down to a couple of kids, you don’t throw at your friends first. It spilled over into class and life.

Did we aim for the body? If it was available, otherwise a head shot was good for stories 2 days later that everyone enjoyed until Karen’s came along.

If they would stop banning the good games (also red rover), maybe kids would go outside more.

Introvert Golfing

The snow is finally gone (it did snow last week) and the local course opened, so I made my way out to the course. I had no one to make up a four or even a twosome, so I picked at time and figured I’d get stuck with someone.

Well, the tourists aren’t hear yet. The snow has melted and the skiers are gone. It turns out that it was supposed to rain that day so when I got to the course, the parking lot was empty. I knew my luck couldn’t hold so I went to the range and hit a bucket to warm up and then went to putt on the practice green. It is next to the first tee, so I knew that I could keep an eye on the traffic to get out with as few people in my group as possible.

As it turns out, no one showed up. Even the starter wasn’t there. I took the opportunity to jump on the tee and try for a solo round. Life was on my side and there weren’t golfers for many holes either side of me.

I played 18 hassle free and small talk free golf. I would have paid extra money for this freebie in life.

I’ll be out again this week and I’ll get paired up with someone the rest of the year, but it was a good start.

Looks like I’m starting out the year with a double digit handicap. Playing golf is my other handicap.

The cart is mine. There is no one on any hole in sight, damn near a perfect day for me.

A Picture That Says How Old I am

Thanks Irish. I also used baseball cards that could probably be sold for hundreds of dollars had I kept them.

Yes, it had a banana seat, long handlebars and it’s how I learned to do wheelies. We rode everywhere and actually played outside.

My childhood wasn’t ruined by video games. Life was my video game and my metaverse.

All Fishermen Lie, Except Me

I fished competitively for a while. Even the fishing shows will tell you to hold your catch closer to the camera to make it look bigger.

If you are the only one there, no one can prove that it wasn’t a pound or two heavier, or an inch or foot shorter.

I’m sure I never exaggerated about my catch……ever.

Covid Sarcasm – I Went To A Super Spreader Event Last Night

I was at the App State v Coastal Carolina game, probably the game of the week. There were over 31,000 super spreaders that Fauci warned us about.

I’ll report back if there is an outbreak here, but I doubt it. There have been games everywhere since August with little to no outbreaks or breakthroughs.

I guarantee you that there were both vaxxed and un-vaxxed at the game last night. Both have an equal chance at getting it like every other game we were told not to go to.

The game was won on the last play and the 14th ranked team went down in flames. The crowd spilled onto the field, certainly spreading Covid everywhere. Ha!

A good time was had by all, except Fauci, the CDC, NIH, WHO, Congress and Washington DC.

Going To A Movie As An Introvert

I rarely want to go out where there are people other than for exercise, groceries or to walk the dog.

I wanted to see Venom – Let There Be Carnage, but had the dilemma of not wanting to go. I clearly remember thinking that I’d rather stream it at home and considered bailing, but it wasn’t an option for me to view. I had another errand to do (Auto Zone, an approved Introverted place to shop) so I forced myself.

When I got to the theater, I saw that there was only one other car in the parking lot. It was a good sign. I picked the earliest showing in the day to avoid people. I was going to a geek movie so I expected the worst and that they would be at my theater of course, one of 8 at the complex.

To my delight, I was in a room that held 100 people and for the entirety of my stay, I was alone, damn near perfect.

I of course brought Clorox wipes to disinfect everything and actually enjoyed being there. One other person would have ruined it for me.

I originally saw Venom on TV because I had some time to kill and wound up loving the story. I really wanted to see the sequel and the cards lined up for me today.

I got to see Captain Kirk finally get to space and got to experience being the only one in a huge theater to see one of the few movies I’d actually pay for. It is a good movie to see. I wouldn’t bring a date though. It’s definitely not a Rom-Com.

I know it sounds weird to most, but if you are introverted this will resonate and you’ll wish you were me.

C’est la Guerre.

Friday Humor, Looney Tunes/Marvin The Martian Style

I loved all the Bugs Bunny cartoons. Marvin the Martian was his foil in a couple. That was when we didn’t have a cancel culture and weren’t afraid of making fun of things without being castrated on Social Media.

I saw every one of them as a kid. I saw every one of them as an adult and appreciated them even more. My kids know every time I reference an episode. It’s even better when they reference one to me.

Here is the illudiam Q-36 explosive space modulator, to blow up the Earth.

And some funny memes

Blog Post That You Can Smell

I had a bunch of these as a kid. When I didn’t have a gun, we used to hit the caps with a hammer. We got brave and hit the whole roll at once for a bigger bang.

I am not sorry they didn’t have video games when I was a kid. I can smell the gunpowder as I type this. I discovered a lot of things because of boredom and curiosity in life.

My Childhood Was Awesome, Part 2

I played endless paper football between and before class in middle school. We had benches and tables that were perfect.

I could kick the way the picture is above and from one of the sides (where the fold is)

I could make a paper football today, after not making one for decades because I’ve made so many.

It was real life video games for us back then.

I also pitched quarters, but I hated losing money, why gambling was never one of my vices.

Happy 917 Day – For Those Who Get It

Pin by Geoff Daly on Porsche917 | Sports car racing ...

This is Jo Siffert at Daytona in 1970 in a Gulf Porsche 917. Out of all of the versions of this dominating car, this was both my favorite and my first encounter with it. He was my favorite driver and died too young.

It was the first time I’d seen a car go over 200 MPH in person. I was young, so it was impressive.

I was already a Porschefile by this point, but that day cemented it home.

I’ve seen them race many times, but I was with my Dad that day and it still is memorable for me.

Later, the car was the star of the movie Le Mans. Steve McQueen was in the movie, the king of cool, but the car outshone him.

Some call it the greatest sports car ever, and for those of us who have seen it race, we understand why.

After all…..this is the greatest line ever in a car movie.

Stuff Only Older Guys Will Recognize

I built a million of these things. It was cars, planes, engines and more cars. I got model glue on everything.

Actually, I’m surprised that my brain isn’t mush from all the glue. This was before people were sniffing it to get high.

Most of the fun is in the building, then you just look at them until you built another.

I learned more about how to build an engine and how things work than today’s mush heads, who are killing monsters or shooting anything that moves.

I now see that I was alone for hours when building these guys. It is a trait that I recognize for life and embrace.

Finally Signs Of Star Trek Technology Here On Earth

I have been a huge Star Trek fan since TOS. I’ve met some of the actors at conferences for work.

I went to the Star Trek Experience at the Vegas Hilton. It had all the props from all the series in timeline order. There were 3 ships hung above. One was the NCC-1701, there was either the Voyager or Excelsior and I think a Klingon Bird of Prey. No matter, the props were good enough.

I lived each episode as I went down the display case. The actual phasers, tri-corders, costumes and ample descriptions. It took me hours to get through.

Later, they added a Borg exhibit and you get to experience 4D assimilation.

I still have a Tribble at home.

If they would only give me a replicator I’d be in heaven. They probably shouldn’t give me a phaser because I couldn’t promise to keep it on stun for some people.

What Is Wrong With Today’s Kids? What Did We Do Differently?

I’m not sure if we should blame the parents or the kids. These are time out kids, not fear of God ass whooping that kept us in line and for most of us kept us on the straight and narrow later in life.

I’m not for spanking kids here so save the hate. I am for proper discipline and letting kids grow up as kids without mind numbing drugs they give the boys.

There are a lot of comparisons and finger pointing that anyone can make here so I’ll delete the comments by jerks.

I rode in the back of a pickup in a lawn chair on the way to the beach because it was a 2 person truck with 3 people going. At 9 in the morning, someone ran up and handed me a beer to which all the nearby cars were honking in approval.

I made it to the beach safely and returned with a lot fewer IQ points due to the alcohol.

The Day My Son Became a Fisherman – A Father and Son Memory

This is a story about my young son trying to catch the biggest fish in the pond.

Fathers do things for their children. They take them places and (try to) teach them things.

I like to fish and wanted my son to also like it so we could fish together. I made sure that we went catching instead of fishing. For those who have gone a entire day fishing without catching anything, you know what I mean.

I took him to the fishing show one year to show him around. It is a place where they sell things mostly to catch fishermen’s wallets.

We started the show by dropping quarters into a large fish tank. If the quarter glided through the water and into the shot glass at the bottom, you were a winner with the prize being your choice of worms. He won on the first try and was very excited about it.

I knew his attention span was limited so we went to the trout pond to fish. When I say pond, I mean a temporary pool filled with fish. They were mostly small trout with maybe 3 big boys in the pond (actually the big ones are female). It came complete with plastic palm trees in the middle for décor. You paid your $2 and could keep anything you caught in 5 minutes. The poles were a 4-foot stick with a short line and small hook baited with a mostly inedible piece of plastic half the size of a fingernail.

The odds are with the fish on this one. Especially when they have seen the same bait for 3 days and got fed every night.

My goal was for him to catch anything while I wanted to get enough of the small guys for dinner. I told him that any fish was a good fish.

HUNTING MOBY DICK

Never the small dreamer, he spotted the biggest fish in the pool and said he was going after it. I feared he would be disappointed as everyone threw a line at it, but I knew I could just take him through the line again and tell him to go for something catchable.

I had landed about 3 of the small fish and was well on the way to having dinner by half the time allotted. He kept trying for the big fish (nicknamed Moby Dick).

As time was counting down and I had caught enough for dinner, I heard a huge splash beside me. I looked over and sure enough, my son had hooked Moby.

My new fear was that he would be crushed if the fish spit the hook. The hooks they provided were tiny and easy for the fish get off the line. I saw it happen to every kid before us. If you didn’t get one to the side in less than 15 seconds, it was pretty much over.

This fish was almost too strong for the small stick and line we were given. Over a minute into the fight, it was still on and I knew the odds were against us.

THE FIRST CHANCE TO LOSE THE FISH

Things took a turn for the worse as his fish got wrapped around one of the plastic palm trees. In my mind, I was already preparing to console him for his loss.

I knew I had to try something. After all, I was his Dad so I reached into the tank and grabbed the palm tree. The pond monitors weren’t happy with me but it was my son.

Anyone who ever had a fish on knows that if you get slack in the line, the fish is as good as gone once the line goes taut and the sudden tension pulls the hook out of the fish’s mouth.

To my surprise, Moby stayed on despite the tree incident and he was well past 2 minutes into the fight. Time was now over for that fishing session, but since he had one on we were allowed to finish. We had an audience as everyone waiting to fish and those who just finished could see that he had a good one on.

I decided that if by chance I could get my hands on this fish that I was willing to do anything to get it for my son. I didn’t want him to be disappointed after overcoming virtually everything that could go wrong, just to lose it at the last second. This wasn’t going to be easy, as anyone who has handled a trout knows they have a coating of slime. They are as slippery as greased ice. Landing  them is usually done with a net, which we weren’t allowed to use.

PANIC AT THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

I thought nothing more could go wrong, but to my horror I could see that it was foul hooked (hooked on the body rather than the mouth). My sense of the odds of landing Moby were next to nothing now.

After what seemed like a million circles in the pond, Moby came within my reach and I stuck my hand under the fish and threw it out of the pond in one swoop.

On that day, he had landed the biggest fish in the pond, a Dad was proud and a small boy became a fisherman.

Here is a picture later in life of fishing together.  He learned well

 

Fun Facts Like Betty White IS older than Sliced Bread, A Break from The News, Fake News and Shitholes

With all the crap that is in the news today, I’m taking a break of levity with some interesting facts.  Since I got this from someone else, some of it could be disputed, like peas on pizza, but it’s a hell of a lot closer to the truth than you’ll read in the news.
1. A strawberry isn’t a berry but a banana is.
2. Avocados and watermelon are berries, too.
3. Cashews grow on trees like this:
4. And Brussels sprouts grow in long stalks like this:
Flickr / Creative Commons / Katy Stoddard / Via Flickr: 68067047@N00
5. Chocolate milk was invented in Ireland.
6. Ketchup used to be sold as medicine.
7. Carrots were originally purple.
8. McDonald’s sells 75 hamburgers every second of every day.
9. Yams and sweet potatoes are not the same thing
10. Ripe cranberries will bounce like rubber balls.
11. An average ear of corn has an even number of rows, usually 16.
12. Betty White is actually older than sliced bread.
Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty Images for TV Land
13. Humans share 50% of their DNA with bananas.
14. Honey never spoils. You can eat 32,000-year-old honey.
15. Peanuts are not nuts. They grow in the ground like this, so they are legumes.
16. Vending machines are twice as likely to kill you than a shark is.
17. Coconuts kill more people than sharks every year. So do cows.
18. Pound cake got its name from its original recipe, which called for a pound each of butter, eggs, sugar, and flour.
19. The probability of you drinking a glass of water that contains a molecule of water that also passed through a dinosaur is almost 100%.
20. Honey is made from nectar and bee vomit.
21. Pineapples grow like this:
22. Quinoa is the seeds of this plant:
23. Kiwis grow on vines:
Bignai / Getty Images
24. Ginger is the root of a plant:
25. And cinnamon is just the inner part of this tree:
Flickr / Creative Commons / Abby Flat-coat / / Via Flickr: 22912005@N06
26. And artichokes are flowers that are eaten as buds. This is what they look like when flowered:
Flickr / Creative Commons / Wayne Marshall
27. “Spam” is short for spiced ham.
28. Popsicles were invented by an 11-year-old in 1905.
29. Apples, like pears and plums, belong to the rose family.
30. The official state vegetable of Oklahoma is the watermelon. 
31. Peas are one the most popular pizza toppings in Brazil:
32. There are over 7,500 varieties of apples throughout the world, and it would take you 20 years to try them all if you had one each day.
33. The twists in pretzels are made to look like arms crossed in prayer.
34. Canola oil was originally called rapeseed oil, but renamed by the Canadian oil industry in 1978 to avoid negative connotations. “Canola” is short for “Canadian oil.”
35. And no matter what color Froot Loop you eat, they all taste the same.