Tag: extrovert

12 Reasons to Celebrate Introverts on World Introvert Day (Jan. 2)

Why We Should Celebrate Introverts By Jenn Granneman

1. Introverts really know their stuff.

I have an introverted friend who is basically a walking encyclopedia of Celtic myth. For example, if you ask him about the hero Cú Chulainn, he can not only tell you how he died, but also what kind of chariot he drove around in. Listening to him talk, I’ve found myself thinking, “Wow, he really knows his stuff!”

That’s because many introverts love learning and adding to their vast stores of specialized knowledge. It’s no surprise they often become experts in their field.

2. Introverts are problem-solvers and idea generators.

Introverts tend to gravitate toward working alone. Rather than chatting in the break room, we’re often the ones sitting at our desks, quietly turning ideas over and over in our minds. And there’s a big benefit to this. When you’re with other people, your brain is forced to multitask. Even if you’re not talking with someone, part of your attention is occupied just by their mere presence, research suggests.

When you’re alone, you can clear your mind and focus your thoughts. All this deep, concentrated thinking can lead to novel solutions and brilliant ideas. Working alone can even lead to more ideas. “Decades of research have consistently shown that brainstorming groups think of far fewer ideas than the same number of people who work alone and later pool their ideas,” according to psychologist Keith Sawyer.

So forget the brainstorming group. Take a cue from introverts and spend some time in solitude.

3. Give up? Not yet.

Speaking of problem-solving, introverts tend to stick with problems longer — well past when everyone else has moved on to another topic or gone home for the day. Albert Einstein, the world-renowned physicist who developed the theory of relativity, was probably an introvert. He said, “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

4. Introverts make better team players than extroverts over the long run.

Corinne Bendersky and her colleagues found that while extroverts make great first impressions, they may disappoint us over time when they’re part of a team. Their “value and reputation at work diminish over time,” explains Bendersky. “On a team, you’re expected to work hard and contribute a lot. But they’re often poor listeners, and they don’t collaborate.”

Ouch.

Introverts, on the other hand, may work harder on a team because they tend to be conscientious; they don’t want to be seen as not pulling their weight. So, while companies may initially be attracted to extroverts, bosses should remember that introverts pack a powerful (yet understated) punch.

5. Introverts are capable of incredible depth and intimacy in their relationships.

We “quiet ones” have a penchant for quality, one-on-one time and deep conversations. Instead of talking about the weather or what you did this weekend, we want to peek into your inner world. What have you learned lately? How are your ideas evolving? How are you really? When you have an introvert in your life, you may experience emotional intimacy like never before.

6. Introverts know the power of words.

As the nickname suggests, we “quiet ones” tend to listen more than we talk and think carefully before we speak. We try to choose our words thoughtfully because we understand that once said, words can’t be retracted or easily forgotten.

7. Introverts are low maintenance.

You can leave an introvert alone for hours (or even days!), and we’ll be content to do our own thing. No need to constantly text us, check in on us, or “babysit” us.

Why? Because introverts tend to be self-starters, and many of us are drawn to working quietly and steadily on our own. In fact, you’ll probably only hear from us if we have a problem we can’t fix (and believe me, we’ve tried solving it a dozen times before coming to you). Similarly, we don’t need constant praise, gold stars, and shoutouts in the company newsletter (although sure, those things are appreciated). If we’re working hard, we’re likely drawing motivation from within.

8. Introverts can be the calm in the center of the storm.

Reserved and often self-contained, introverts are known for exuding calm — even when there’s a storm raging inside us. We’re often the ones quietly creating an action plan while everyone else is stressing over the company’s latest policy change. And in this way, our methodical approach to chaos benefits everyone.

9. Introverts “get” you.

Although it may seem counterintuitive, solitude can actually help you connect better with others. Why? Because spending time alone — which introverts love — may enhance our empathy, especially for people outside our typical social group, according to research. Being alone often involves reflecting on our actions, beliefs, and experiences, which helps us develop a deeper understanding and stronger empathy for others.

10. Introverts look before they leap.

Compared to extroverts, introverts generally prefer a slower, more deliberate pace of life, and this difference stems from the way our brains are wired. Many of us hate rushing into things; whenever possible, we take time to consider all potential outcomes before making a decision. This applies to our careers, personal lives, and relationships.

For example, one study found that extroverts may jump into a new relationship more quickly than introverts. An Katrien Sodermans and her colleagues revealed that divorced extroverts were more likely than divorced introverts to remarry quickly. While this isn’t always the case, hastily made decisions — such as committing to a new relationship before fully healing from the last one — can sometimes lead to regret later on.

11. Introverts create worlds inside their heads — and help create the world we live in.

Introverts are artists, actors, musicians, entertainers, writers, and more. Famous creative introverts include Lady Gaga (she has said, “I generally really keep to myself and I am focused on my music.”), Bob Dylan, Meryl Streep, Lorde, Audrey Hepburn, and more. David Bowie is also thought to have been an introvert; experts believe he coped with his anxiety and introverted nature by developing various stage personas. Even the “King of Rock and Roll,” Elvis Presley, was described by his friends as a “loner” and “introverted.”

There are so many famous creative introverts that it’s impossible to name them all here! Just a few more examples include Steven Spielberg, Shonda Rhimes, David Letterman, Harrison Ford, Gwyneth Paltrow, Elton John, Emma Watson, and Tom Hanks… the list could go on.

12. Who runs the world? Introverts.

When we think of leadership, especially in the corporate world, words like “bold,” “overconfident,” and “selfish” may come to mind. But there’s a different kind of leader emerging: the quiet one. Today, about 40 percent of executives describe themselves as introverts, including Microsoft’s Bill Gates.

Gates believes that introverts can make great leaders because they know the value of being alone and focusing deeply. Speaking at an event in 2013, he said, “I think introverts can do quite well. If you’re clever you can learn to get the benefits of being an introvert, which might be, say, being willing to go off for a few days and think about a tough problem, read everything you can, push yourself very hard to think out on the edge of that area.”

Other introverted leaders include Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr., Barack Obama, Jill Biden, Eleanor Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln — and many others — as well as many of our greatest U.S. presidents.

Yes, introverts may be the quiet ones who eat lunch alone. They may also be the ones curled up at home with a good book, avoiding the party. But introverts are so much more than that. They are artists, visionaries, and leaders who bring quiet strength and understand the power of the inner journey.

Today — and every day — they deserve to be celebrated.

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So everyone celebrate together, separately, and alone. I disagree that Jill Biden and Barack Obama were leaders. They were power hungry people who shouldn’t be celebrated.

5 Survival Tips For Introverts Attending Large Events (plus my bonus)

5 Survival Tips for Introverts Attending Big, Crowded Events

ByEllie Matama December 19, 2025

An introvert walks through a crowded event

Big events or parties can become overwhelming for us introverts, so look for little ways to maintain your energy.

I have no problem socializing with my family or close friends. I am comfortable doing so because I have known them for a long time, and I interact with them just a few at a time. There’s no having-to-get-to-know-you period.

But it’s an entirely different matter to attend big, crowded gatherings where almost everyone is a stranger (hello, holiday parties or awkward job-related networking events). Sure, for a short amount of time, I can make small talk. Of course, I need to recharge my energy afterward.

Yet, in everyday life, social interactions are required. The good news is there are plenty of things you can do to maintain your energy as an introvert when you have to attend a crowded event. 

How Introverts Can Survive Crowded Events

1. Arrive early so you can pick the best spot.

One study found that about 20 percent of employees regularly arrive late to work. If you are an introvert, you can’t afford to be late for an event because people will notice your tardiness (hello, suddenly being the center of attention!). In addition, you may have to engage in unnecessary awkward interactions as you make your way to an available seat. Plus, you may have to explain your lateness later, which will further drain whatever energy you have left.

So arrive early and be prepared to stay for a while. When you arrive early, you can choose the best seat or standing spot for your needs. That way, you can still be alone among the crowd.

For example, find a seat or table on the fringes or near the back, which will enable you to move freely without having to ask people to move whenever you need to get out (i.e., escape to the bathroom). You could also choose a spot near the exit for the same purpose. 

2. Go with a “human shield,” a.k.a. your favorite extrovert or outgoing introvert.

As an introvert, you may find it challenging to interact with many people at once. But some people you know may actually like doing so. Your family members, friends, or your significant other may be more outgoing — and they may thrive in crowded situations. See if they’re willing to go to the event with you. This will enable you to talk less, since they will happily do most of the talking for you.

Or, you can go to the event with a colleague who enjoys socializing. There’s no shame in using them as a “human shield” while representing your company or department. While they schmooze with everyone, you can thoughtfully listen and pick up points for discussion later on (i.e., at the next company meeting).  

And, speaking of talking less…

3. Embrace your listening skills.

Remember: As an introvert, listening is one of your superpowers. We speak about 125 to 175 words a minute, but we’re able to listen to about 450 words a minute. Therefore, you’ll learn more by listening than by talking a lot. Also, when you aren’t talking, you can pay more attention to people’s body language, which can offer more information about their state of mind than what they actually say.

Plus, people feel understood and cared for when someone listens to them. So you may make a great first impression just by listening!

Once you’ve absorbed everything they’ve said, take the time to process it before adding your thoughts. That way, you’ll have something valuable to say based on all your gathered information.

Want to feel more at ease in social situations?

Discover the secrets to enjoying fun, meaningful conversations. Know exactly what to say — even if you’re introverted, shy, or socially anxious. Feel less drained and have more energy while socializing.

4. Look for small groups talking about topics you care about.

Even at the most crowded events, small groups tend to form because people with similar interests gravitate toward one another. That’s great news for introverts, as you’ll feel more at home if the topic is one you’re passionate about. Even if the group is talking about something similar to a topic you want to bring up, now’s your chance to change the subject to that one instead. And, when interacting in a small group, you won’t get socially burned out as quickly.

5. Block out the noise.

As an introvert, there may be times when you can’t take all the noise, small talk, or all the people anymore. But you also can’t leave the event… yet. In that case, you need a way to block out the noise.

You can do this in many ways: Listen to music or an audiobook (or just put on your earbuds to make it look like you’re listening to something or on a call; they’ll still help tune out some of the noise!); make an actual call; or excuse yourself to “step outside for a moment.” If you’re worried that these things will make you seem aloof or antisocial, remember that most people aren’t looking at you, anyway, and won’t even notice.

Yes, I know, having to attend crowded events and make small talk can be a nightmare for introverts. However, the more prepared you are, the more you’ll preserve your energy.

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Here’s my bonus: say no and don’t go. You won’t miss much, and your life will be better for it

8 Confessions of an Extreme Introvert

By Delilah Ho

If I come across as rude, it’s not that I don’t like you. As a very introverted person, I’m probably just uncomfortable.

It’s difficult being an introvert in a world that only works smoothly if you’re an extrovert. You’re expected to perform well in large groups, socialize often, speak up loudly, and be outgoing. As a highly introverted person, I get mentally and physically fatigued doing all of those things on a daily basis.

Here are eight things I wish people knew about me as an extreme introvert who also experiences social anxiety. Fellow “quiet ones,” can you relate?

Confessions of an Extreme Introvert

1. If I come across as rude, it’s not that I don’t like you. I’m probably just uncomfortable.

Some assume that I don’t like people because I don’t talk or smile much when I first meet them. It’s never my intention to be rude or cold, it’s just that there are a thousand things running through my head at the moment: “What should I say?” “What do you think of me?” and “Do I look like a hot mess right now?” And so on.

I’m quiet around the people I don’t know well, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t like them. As an extreme introvert, I’m just uncomfortable when meeting new people. Honestly, sometimes just being around new people overwhelms me and I freeze up.

It’s easy for my extroverted friends to chat with strangers and make new friends at practically a moment’s notice. But for me, it’s like I need a month in advance to mentally prepare! And even if I did get that advanced notice, when the day arrived, I probably still would not feel ready.

2. I love being alone but I hate the loneliness.

As an introvert, I enjoy doing things by myself. I go shopping on my own. I go to coffee shops on my own. I go to the movies on my own — and I absolutely love it. I don’t feel awkward or uncomfortable being alone in public. Honestly, it’s my preferred state. I love watching everything going on around me and being alone with my own thoughts.

However, as much as I relish being alone, there are times when I crave the love, company, and affection of other human beings. Although I say that I don’t mind doing things alone, sometimes I wish I had someone to do those things with me.

You know, doing what friends do.

You see, no one likes being lonely, even if they’re extremely introverted. We “quiet ones” need close relationships and strong connections in our life, too.

3. Small talk makes me nervous.

I despise small talk because I don’t know how to act around small talk. Usually, when people engage me in chitchat, I give short answers like “oh” and “yeah.” As a result, I think I unintentionally come across as aloof or rude.

Little by little, I’m getting better at making conversation, because it can be a joy to talk with someone who “gets” me. But to be completely honest, I still get nervous chatting about the weather or my weekend plans. It makes my heart beat fast, and later, I think about how I acted in the conversation. Sometimes I beat myself up for not knowing what to say or do. I know not every introvert experiences social anxiety, but it’s my reality every day.

I actually prefer deep conversations straight away.

Ask me what I think of the latest news. Ask me what I think of Freud. Ask me what I think about global warming. Oddly, I can answer those questions without feeling the least bit awkward.

4. I wish I had more close friends.

I have a small group of good friends. They are people who I feel comfortable being around, so I almost always hang out exclusively with them. But if I’m being honest, I wish I had more people that I could hang out with. Yet this goes back to #1 — I feel uncomfortable meeting new people.

Honestly, there are times when I wish people would approach me instead of me having to approach them. That may seem like a strange thing for an extreme introvert to say, but it’s easier for me when other people take the lead in social situations.

Because of this challenge, I finished four years of college with hardly any friends. I may say that, as an extreme introvert, I’m fine with it, but I actually regret not making more of an effort to meet people. Again, it’s a skill I’m working to improve, but like any new skill, it takes time.

5. Even though I love him, dealing with my extroverted boyfriend can be stressful.

I love my extroverted boyfriend but sometimes it drains me to be with him.

He often wants to do things that I would not do in a million years, and he struggles to understand why I’d rather stay home than go out and “explore,” as he calls it. He wants me to meet his friends and family, but I get extremely anxious just thinking about doing that. Sometimes he tells me about social plans last minute, which gives me little time to mentally prepare.

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Personally, I don’t agree with number 4. I’m good with what I have. I weed out the insincere ones and my friends are my true friends, few as they are

he Science Behind Why Introverts Need Alone Time

The same things that motivate and energize extroverts can feel tiring and annoying to introverts, such as a big party.

As an introvert, I love spending time alone. There’s almost nothing better than being at home in my comfy clothes, quietly reading a good book, or watching a show while munching on snacks. This doesn’t mean I don’t crave time with “my people” — those I laugh with, learn from, and share my day with. However, without enough alone time, I start to feel tired, irritable, and overstimulated, even when I’ve enjoyed the company of those I love.

I show all the classic signs of being an introvert.

Sometimes, when I need alone time, the people in my life feel hurt. They view it as if I’m rejecting them and our relationship. But it’s not about them. I need time alone to recharge my energy and function well in my daily life.

Why do introverts need alone time? Why does socializing exhaust us, even when we’re having fun? Recent research offers some interesting insights. I delve deeper into these findings in my book, The Secret Lives of Introverts.

The Curious Connection Between Introverts and Rewards

When writing my book, I spoke with Colin DeYoung, a psychology professor at the University of Minnesota who had recently published a paper on introversion. He explained that one reason introverts need alone time is related to how we respond to rewards.

No, I’m not referring to the gold foil stars you might have earned in grade school (though it could be argued that stickers are indeed a reward for kids). For adults, rewards can be things like money, social status, social connections, sex, and food. When you get promoted at work or convince an attractive stranger to give you their phone number, you’re receiving a reward. Hurray!

Of course, introverts also value things like money, relationships, and food. However, researchers believe that introverts are wired to respond differently to rewards than extroverts. Compared to our more outgoing counterparts, we “quiet ones” are simply less motivated and energized by these same rewards. It’s as if extroverts see big, juicy steaks everywhere, while introverts often see overcooked hamburgers.

In fact, as any introvert can confirm, sometimes those “rewards” aren’t just less appealing — they can actually be tiring and annoying, like a big party. This brings me to another reason why introverts need alone time: We react differently to stimulation.

An Extrovert and an Introvert Go to a Party

Take, for example, two friends at a house party — one an extrovert, the other an introvert. They’re crammed into a crowded room where loud music blares from huge speakers. Everyone is practically shouting to be heard over the din. There are a dozen conversations happening simultaneously, with just as many things demanding their attention.

For the extrovert, this level of stimulation might feel just right. He sees potential rewards everywhere — an attractive stranger across the room, opportunities to deepen old relationships, and the chance to make new friends. Most importantly, tonight offers a chance to boost his social status within his friend group, especially if he navigates the evening skillfully.

So, the extrovert feels energized and excited to be at the party. In fact, he’s so motivated that he stays late into the night. He’s exhausted the next day and needs time to recover — after all, partying is hard work. But to him, the energy spent was well worth it.

Now, back to our introvert. See him over there, hunkered down in the corner? For him, the environment feels overwhelming. It’s too loud, there are too many things happening at once, and the crowd creates a dizzying buzz of activity. Sure, he wants to make friends, fit in, and be liked, but these rewards just aren’t as tantalizing to him. It feels like he would have to expend a lot of energy for something he’s only mildly interested in to begin with.

So, the introvert heads home early to watch a movie with his roommate. In his own apartment, with just one other person, the level of stimulation feels just right. He exchanges some texts with a woman he met a few weeks ago in one of his classes. Like the extrovert, he too wants friends and a romantic partner. However, he finds it too tiring to deal with the noise and socializing at a big party to make those connections.

The Dopamine Difference

Chemically, there’s a good reason the introvert in the above scenario feels overwhelmed, and it relates to a neurotransmitter called dopamine. This chemical, found in the brain, is often referred to as the “feel good” chemical because it regulates our pleasure and reward centers.

One of its roles is to make us notice potential rewards and motivate us to pursue them. For example, dopamine alerts the extrovert to the attractive stranger at the party and fuels his motivation to come up with a cheesy pick-up line.

Another important function of dopamine is reducing our cost of effort. Socializing requires energy because it involves paying attention, listening, thinking, speaking, and moderating our emotional reactions. Technically, socializing is tiring for everyone, including extroverts. However, dopamine helps make it less exhausting for them.

According to DeYoung, extroverts have a more active dopamine reward system. As a result, they can better tolerate — and often push through — the tiredness that inevitably comes with socializing. Much of the time, they don’t experience the same level of mental and physical fatigue that introverts do, thanks to this dopamine boost.

It’s called the “introvert” hangover, not the “extrovert” hangover for a reason.

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