Well, someone actually made it, I just can’t believe it.

My friend George loves picking his in the car. He has fat fingers and we call it rooting, like what pigs do for food.
It reminds me of the scene in Seinfeld when he was scratching his nose, but got busted as it looked like he was picking it.
Even funnier was in Caddyshack when they bet if the Smails kid would pick his nose, and then bet if he would eat it. I know it’s gross, but my humor is sophomoric.
I’ve been known to do this. I hope Pavlov just affects dogs.
I used to read the paper there. Now I read the phone. I still say I have to go read the sports page to be nice about dropping a deuce.
Don’t forget that if by chance you use the talking to another person feature on your phone, that you can be heard making bodily noises, or at least the echo that everyone recognizes.
UPDATE: The 7 Reasons Farting is Good For You
Dropping a deuce, pinching a loaf, laying pipe, reading the sports page, seeing a man about a horse, all are names for the same thing.
But how much does it weigh? Can you lose weight by taking laxatives or giving birth to a legend size turn monster? How much does a fart weigh? Do women fart as much as men? Let’s look into it.
According to thrill list health:
To find out how much our stool adds to the scale, researchers (serious poop
researchers do exist, folks) collected samples from people living in 12
different countries to get a comprehensive overview.
They discovered that poop weighs between 2.5oz and 1lb, on average.
To find out how much our stool adds to the scale, researchers (serious poop
researchers do exist, folks) collected samples from people living in 12
different countries to get a comprehensive overview.
Have you ever weighed yourself before and then after taking a dump?
Of course you have! Who hasn’t? The best part is seeing the scale budge
in your favor after dropping the kids off at the pool.
So it stands to reason that if you could poop more, you’d lose weight, right?
Same for farting — gas has mass, after all. Could pooping and farting
be legit weight-loss secrets, or is it all just a lot of hot air?
Unsurprisingly, Westernized populations have the lowest poop weights,
thanks to a severe lack of fiber that comes with a fast-food diet. Western
samples only averaged between 3-4oz, which isn’t nearly enough to
make a difference in your skinny jeans.
Very, very carefully. Gastroenterologists in England tried to determine
a fart’s weight by giving study participants 200g of baked beans in
addition to their normal diet. Even scientists know beans are a magical
fruit. To measure the toots these beans are known for, they used rectal
catheters over the course of 24 hours, which raises serious concerns
about the mental stability of the participants.
Despite the method, the data collected may surprise you more.
Scientists learned that the farts weighed between 16-50oz per day.
That’s right: You’re holding as much gas in your system as a small
Sweetums soda. And in case you’re wondering (you’re obviously
wondering), “Women and men expelled equivalent amounts,”
according to science. That’s right. Your sweet little cupcake is
cutting the cheese and stinking up the room just as much as you are.
Of course, there are those out there who see “poop can weigh a pound”
and will try to up their poop game by taking laxatives. Bad idea.
Robert Herbst, an 18-time world-champion powerlifter and one of
the drug-testing supervisors at the Rio Olympics, says laxative-driven
weight loss happens even at the highest levels of sport, and it isn’t pretty.
Herbst confirms that dropping a deuce will in fact budge the number
on the scale, though it won’t alter your body composition or muscle
percentage, saying, “One pound in does not guarantee one [pound] out,”
because food is metabolized differently. Certain foods are absorbed
more efficiently, while others pass right through (looking at you, corn).
So while a pound of lettuce may work its way out to the porcelain
water slide, a pound of pie will most likely stick to your thighs.
Pooping isn’t a total elimination of all the calories you eat, since that
wouldn’t make any sense. Your body needs energy, so it’s not going
to shit it all out.
On top of that, Herbst’s experience monitoring weigh-ins taught
him that no one’s going to see Biggest Loser-type results. He says
you may see a 5lb drop (if that), depending on how much you currently
weigh. If you’re a big dude, you’re going to expel more in weight and
volume because you’re already eating more.
The majority of people will only be able to look forward to a mere
1-2lb difference (at most) if you’re an active person. Those losses
aren’t worth canceling your gym membership, and in extreme
cases, excessive laxative use can lead to all sorts of nasty medical complications.
What About Competitive Eaters?
I watch the July 4th Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest yearly. Joey Chestnut
knocked down 70 dogs in 10 minutes. I’m not sure how much that
weighs, but given the average Joe spits out almost 2 pounds after a
few dogs at most, does that mean that Joey is somewhere between a
Saint Bernard and an elephant the day after the contest?
I found this gem THE 8 TYPES OF POOP YOU SHOULD NEVER
IGNORE because it means you have a problem
What Does Your Poop Say About You?
I found this gem at did you know your facts?
And finally, go to this link to evaluate your poop and pooping habits because you should examine your deuce to see if you are unhealthy or have a problem.
Why snot is green or yellow, or other color. Click to read more.
Mucus is clear when you’re healthy and have no serious invaders. However, when bacteria or viruses attack, it will turn yellow or green due to the influx of iron-containing enzymes including myeloperoxidases, other oxidases and peroxidases. These enzymes are used by white blood cells, namely polymorphonuclear granulocytes, to help ingest and deactivate bacteria through an oxidative process. The combination of dead white blood cells, used up enzymes and eaten bacteria, all of which still contain a fair amount of iron, results in the green or yellow color.
Notably, the longer snot stays in your sinuses, the greener it will get.
Is eating boogers healthy for you? Click to read.
That said, while it may seem gross to those of us who’ve never tried (or don’t remember- nearly all children do this at one point or another), according to the sparse few studies that have been conducted on booger eaters, the vast number of people who eat their nasal mucus find it palatable, which probably isn’t a surprise to anyone as if they didn’t, they’d likely just stop. As SidneyTarachow in a 1966 report oncoprophagia (the compulsive eating bodily secretions) noted, “persons do eat nasal debris, and find it tasty, too!”
So to sum up, at least to date, there is no scientific proof that ingesting snot by passing it through your mouth is beneficial. That said, it is plausible that the snot we do all ingest all the time is benefiting us in the way snot-eating proponents suggest. It’s just that we don’t need to put it into our mouths to see the benefit, if such a benefit does exist as hypothesized.
In the end, though, as long as you’re careful, picking and eating is not generally going to hurt you, and many find it tasty… so, if that’s your thing, bon appétit!
Why is poop brown? Click to read more.
Poop is brown due to bile from your gall bladder being metabolized by the bacteria in your intestines. This results in a byproduct called stercobilin, which, in turn, makes poop look brown-ish.
Without this stercobilin, your poop would typically look grey-ish/white. Because of this, a sure sign you are having problems with bile production, such as a blocked bile duct by a gall stone or something more serious like pancreatic cancer, is if you notice your poop is this white/grey-ish color.
In the end *pun intended*, brown poop is a pretty good sign you are a relatively healthy individual. Some other common poop colors that generally aren’t a good sign of health are as follows:
Bonus Facts:
There of course are many links in these pages that lead to other gross stuff. Enjoy.