I hate my birthday because the only real birthday happened a long time ago.
Christmas starts in September now and I’m fatigued by the time it comes. I don’t think most people believe in the real reason for Christmas anyway. They just want to decorate and get gifts. I question their sincerity when they are all nice in the season, yet give me the finger while driving.
As usual, because I’m an introvert, I have a hard time processing the attention and wish that it would just be over.
What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?
My first thought was the usual red flags for dating girls. There are the usuals like too many tats, piercings, hair dyed an unnatural color, and feminist attire.
Then it occurred to me that those are for the dating crowd. For me, it is chatty females. When they start in on nothing just because they can’t handle silence, I’m out of there. I can’t take small talk. I will talk for hours on something deep, but yapping just for the sake of talking is a red flag. That is the introvert in me coming out
When thinking deeper about the question and including the population of the world, the clear answer was disloyalty. That is the end of a relationship for me. Once that line is crossed, I can’t go back. Once you stab me in the back, that’s it.
Shout out to my college girlfriend who slept around I found out afterwards. This blog is for you.
If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?
When this question first came up, the obvious thought of particular swear words or a pejorative towards feminists crossed my mind.
When reading the biography of Ben Franklin, he inspired me in a different direction. It would be to not use a word that could be judged as egotistical or one that tried to convince someone of your position. Rather, he supposed was if you could inform or educate someone to come to a more enlightened position rather than beat them over the head (which I do here) with your beliefs, you are a better man.
I grew up in the 60’s before they took off the good TV because it was wholesome, albeit not something that challenged our intelligence.
So it was Batman (Adam West), Gilligans Island (My Mom hated us watching that), The Beverly Hillbilies, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie (Even then I knew Barbara Eden was hot), The Wild Wild West, Green Acres and some others of this ilk.
They wiped all of those out for the next round, but we still had WKRP, Taxi, Barney Miller and some of those that were good.
When I am alone. I need this time to recharge my social batteries and recover from small talk.
When I was hunting and fishing, I’d get up early. So early that not even the dog would get up with me. No one was yapping at me and I could get things done.
Now, I’ve retired and my outdoor activities are different, but the common element is that they are things I do by myself.
You can take the introvert out of the country, but you can’t change his human nature.
I’m not going to put my full name out in public for privacy reasons, but my middle name is Dutch and my last name is a version of the French name my ancestors came to the US with.
I’m also a namesake so add a Jr on to the end of my name. I’m proud of my father so I’m glad to have the same name.
I don’t have to be motivated. It comes from within. I was born with a sense of responsibility that causes me to do what needs doing. I also prioritize it over other things because it is the right thing to do. That is life, work, and the stuff you have to do.
I think it comes from my father who always did a complete job until it was right. It rarely took him two tries
It’s why I never understood people who let things go
Now for stuff I want to do, I know that there is some sacrifice to become good at anything. It was that was for all of my avocations and is what keeps me healthy.
What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?
A Swiss Army knife of life tools. I couldn’t narrow this down to just one so here’s some. I bet bocopro has the best answer though. Maybe others want weigh in.
Your wits, self-control, belief in God, knowledge you’ve learned from the hard lessons in life, pattern recognitions, martial arts skills, situational awareness of your surroundings, and perhaps a 1911.
Externally, I’m never without a knife of some kind and breath mints which are always in my truck.
What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on a meal? Was it worth it?
When I started hunting, I had to buy a tree stand, camo clothes, a gun, and corn to grow to in a field to attract them. I then had to get the tools to process the deer after harvesting it and the same for my son.
I could have bought a venison dinner for under $50 bucks, but probably spent thousands on that first meal.
Absolutely worth it and every deer after that. I guess the cost of the above listed amortized over all the deer, but that first one cost a lot.
What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?
Making my kids eat everything on their plate.
I had to finish everything when I was young. My Dad would sit at the table while I chewed tough meat like I was chewing gum forever. This was after the others left.
Or my personal worst, choking down boiled okra. That slimy shit made me gag and I suffered through it until it was done. I think after a while my Mom had either mercy on me or tried to serve something I could finish.
I made sure my kids had enough to eat and that there was healthy food on their plate. When they were full and I believed it, I ended the pain for both of us. They grew up and survived, but then I guess I did also.
I always tried to learn from what they did right and wrong. There are lessons in both.
If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?
Nowhere.
Travel is such a piece of crap anymore (Crowdstrike anyone) that I’d prefer not to travel by air.
Let’s see, TSA hassle, waiting in lines to be in a tube with a bunch of people I’d never choose to be with, being a mule that has to haul around your life in a box while you are gone, no. Then going to places that I don’t really want to go to (or I would have) while having to live out of a suitcase.
On top of that, Boeing just paid mega millions for building faulty airplanes so I don’t trust them either (DEI anyone?).
Even if you had the total first-class package, the flight part is over relatively quickly and you are stuck somewhere until you can get home. You still have to wait in the airports and if there is a delay, you are as screwed as everyone else
This is like the travel question a few days ago. Get a nice summer house and enjoy a relaxing time
What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?
Before I start, I’m betting that people who read my blog have better answers than me. It’s usually the case. I enjoy the comments and it’s eye-opening.
I was a martial artist for years. I learned that you need balance in your life. Mine are Spirit, Mind and Body. I guess I knew it all along, but that experience put words to it.
For Spirit, you need a relationship with God at the forgiveness level. Others believe in their own thing.
For Mind, I take University classes, write extensively, and keep learning. I try to find patterns and opportunities as they present themselves to me in life. You have to challenge your mind or it will become stale. I also learn foreign languages from the dreaded Duolingo.
For Body, I work out six days a week. I bike the mountains, lift weights, Tai Chi, golf and keep myself moving. If you don’t, your body starts the process of decay. At my age, it’s already happening.
The other thing I do is stay away from people who make my life miserable. I don’t have that much time left and spending it with those who are unpleasant isn’t worth it.
Instead of waiting at an airport with flights canceled by computer glitches, I’m up in the mountains where it is 30 degrees warmer than home. The food is grown on organic farms nearby and traffic is rare. The only sound I hear while typing this is birds chirping and my dog is at my feet.
I traveled for business for many decades. It was a time when you got service and comfort. Those are long gone now replaced by inconvenience and a general lack of concern by the service and travel industries.
There isn’t much to make me want to get on another cattle car to go wait in lines.
I also grew up in Central Florida before Disney World was built. I watched people pay exorbitant prices to wait for hours in the blazing sun for hours. I went at night or in the 2 weeks that are the Florida winter when my friends who worked there gave me tickets. That isn’t my idea of fun either.
I’d still like to hear from those who like it. It counter balances my position
What’s your favorite game (card, board, video, etc.)? Why?
Once again, you get the introvert answer. I loathe those long assed games where people get together and socialize for hours playing Monopoly or Bridge. I’m ready to leave before it starts.
I had the chance to play video games in 1981 before Nintendo came out with the orange button controller. I knew then that I didn’t have time to waste playing the same scenario over and over, although I get the attraction to others.
If I play a card game, it’s going to be solitaire. I don’t really play it anymore, rather spend my time writing and learning, but anytime I can do something to not drain my social battery quickly.
I played golf yesterday. I can be alone there also. I have my earbuds in and tune out the world.
Writing. Note, I want to hear from my reader nicknamed bocopro who has great comments every time. It turns out that he’s a better writer than me and his stuff is funny to read. He has a lifetime of experience to draw upon and I like hearing from the readers.
While I do a lot of physical activities, I’m able to stay in the present about what is going on around me or in life. When I start writing, especially in a personal journal where I pour out my heart on my feelings or memories, I can get lost for a long time.
Occasionally, if I go back to read those words, I can relive that time of the actual occurrence and the time when I wrote it. I feel those feelings deeply and once in a while I am proud of what I wrote.
This goes like the line, how do I love you, let me count the ways. The list is endless and sometimes I feel like Clint Eastwood with, get off my lawn.
Rather than make a list, I’ll stick to my introverted life and go with small talk. Introverts have a low tolerance for conversation that isn’t meaningful or that isn’t going anywhere. When you are young, you might put up with it for a longer time or if there is a worthwhile reward (employment, sex, etc.). That reward is less as you move on in life.
Conversely, I love deep and engaging conversation, that is intellectually stimulating. Even then, there is a time limit and I need to recover.
I’ve learned to say yes, good, right, fine, good point, and anything that could end the conversation and not leave it open-ended.
If you could host a dinner and anyone you invite was sure to come, who would you invite?
I had this question at a team meeting years ago at IBM. An answer that I thought was better than mine came from another person. This is how it went.
I’d invite myself from 20 years ago, now, and 20 years from now. It would allow me to forgive myself for the mistakes I’ve made, congratulate myself for the things I’d overcome, and get advice from the future me on how to live my life.
While it seems a bit narcissistic, fundamentally it would be sound advice.
I forget what I answered, but I’m pretty sure Jesus and my parents who had since passed were some of my guests.
I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’ll be retired today. I have all the time in the world to sleep and now I can’t pull it off like the good old days
I go to bed when I’m tired. Sleep can be a battle anyway when you get older. I get as much as I can so getting a head start is not unknown to me.
As far as waking up? I don’t have a real choice in that matter either. If the sun is up, I’m hosed. I just have to hope I have enough by then. I’m glad I don’t live in Northern Europe where the sun is up by 4:30.
Then there is the fun game that seasoned citizens play called get up to pee. There is no telling how many times that will happen. That can throw a spanner in the works of trying to get back to sleep. An all nighter for me would be not having to piss, but I can’t remember that happening in a decade.
What strategies do you use to increase comfort in your daily life?
Yes, it’s Introvert time again. I am more comfortable alone than I am among a lot of people. While it’s possible to be alone in a crowd (introvert strategy here), it still comes with stress.
I also hate deadlines and the stress that comes with making it. I try to get stuff done well in advance so I don’t have to deal with it at crunch time.
Oh, and avoid family reunions as much and as often as possible.
I’m sure others have much better strategies to increase their comfort, but here’s my .02.
I’ve been on vacations as a kid, with that family growing up. I was kind of a tag along and did what my parents decided mostly. We went to the beach a lot growing up in Florida. That meant I grew up next to Disney World. Heck, we didn’t even have Disney until 8th grade for me. My memories there are of playing alone next to the ocean in my own world.
Then came vacations with a different family, my wife and kids. We traveled around the world. They were good times that I’ll remember while taking one kid fishing everywhere and the other doing anything to keep her from being bored. There was no time to recover or recharge my social battery.
Later in life I did stuff like sailfishing in Costa Rica or going to F1 in Italy and again they were good, but stressful trying to catch planes and waiting in huge crowds. I still had to rush to catch planes and was a mule hauling luggage around the world.
As always though, my introvert self comes out. Vacations where you are always on the run and trying to make everyone happy wore my social battery out to the point that I’d need a vacation to recover from vacation.
Now, I just go to the mountains where there aren’t many people and I can relax without having people acting like tourists or waiting in line. I have my stuff in my place and I can do gardening and tree trimming out in field with no one telling me what to do.
Not having the next deadline or trying to catch the next plane is my favorite.
To Answer This, let’s not confuse being religious with being spiritual. A lot of religious people are doing time and hell when they thought they were doing good on earth.
Spirituality should be the center of your life. If you accept the postulate that your soul is eternal, then spirituality becomes the focus of your life by default.
Therefore, it is a very important aspect that is a part of all of the other decisions and directions in my life. It is important to know that I’m still able to take the wrong fork in the road despite this.
While I get a lot of stuff done both physically and mentally, if there’s Formula One on TV, or Tour de France, or something interesting on the Internet it’s over for me.
It’s just how you define if it’s wasting time or something meaningful to you.
I knew in my 30s that I wanted to retire early. I enjoyed my work, but it was getting in the way of my life. I had stuff to do I still do.
So I had to prepare and live my life accordingly by these principles. Now I’m the king of retirement. I love waking up, knowing I don’t have meetings, email, texts, presentations or travel for business. Everything is paid off, and I can enjoy life more.
My mom told me she taught each of her kids financial independence, saving and spending. The rest of them are broke or died broke.
I respect people who love to work. I had a lot of other things to do in life also. I’m taking care of that now.
I will say this, when I’m passionate about something I go in Well more than 100%. It’s probably why I’ve burnt out on a lot of stuff.
Let’s see, there was the tennis phase followed by fishing and hunting, karate, competitive bike, racing and let’s not forget a bunch of mini stuff that happened between.
I did learn the lesson about passion when I was working. If you could find someone that was passionate about a subject, you didn’t need to motivate them. It was there all along.
Look, I grew up in Central Florida without air conditioning. It was summer 51 of the 52 weeks of the year.
One of the best things in life for me was getting out of that state. It may have a great political climate, growth, no state taxes and other positives, but dreading to go outside because it’s so hot isn’t worth it.
I’m almost always happy being by myself. I like others and I’m even married. Still, if I have the chance to be alone, I make that choice almost every time.
If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?
Since I’m in the real world, I’m happy with who I am.
But since the question was asked when I could be the guy that saves the world or the universe, there you go. If you can be a superhero at it, that’s just icing on the cake.
I don’t mean the Batman and Robin type of a friend and loyalty. I just want somebody that I know I can trust, and not betray me. It’s like your girlfriend or wife not sleeping around behind your back.
What I ask is not too much and I don’t think it’s that hard to do. I know I give that to those that are really my friends. Being an introvert, I only let a very few people to the innermost part of my life. That’s a lot for a person like me to do so respecting that isn’t too much to ask in return.
Yes, memories lots of them. I write down as much as I can remember about my life and then if something pops up, I’ll insert where appropriate.
Sure, I have stuff on the wall, pictures on the phone and even photo albums that remind me of times that I’ve spent. It’s the words that I write down though which create the more vivid image in my mind, and experience the emotion of when it happened.
I knew this was the answer 25 years before it happened. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy the work that I did, but it was only a couple of stairs in Life and there were more stairs before and after.
At the end work was getting in the way of my life. I had so much going on at the time and still have so much to do.
When I was living in South Florida, I had started a family. There parts of Florida that are better than others. I was in a place that wasn’t family friendly.
I wanted to move back to the south having grown up there (south Florida is the north), So I got a job and moved to the Carolina’s.
New job, new state, new life, all in a couple of weeks, just like that.
It turned out to be one of the best moves for my family and me economically.
Now, parts of the Carolina’s have become the north. It’s like déjà vu, all over again.
Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?
It’s more than one time, but it’s the same thing. I got asked to do something, go somewhere or be with some people that I shouldn’t have.
It was about setting boundaries. I remember the feeling or not wanting to be there, we’re doing whatever we were doing, saying the things I said or being with the people I was with.
If I had learned to say no, instead of going with the crowd, a lot of things would’ve turned out differently. I would have gotten in a lot less trouble, not done as many stupid things and would have not been in situations I didn’t want to be in.
I learned the hard way to protect myself from these instances and people, and as a result of gotten in to a lot less trouble.
What place in the world do you never want to visit? Why?
San Francisco. It’s a shit hole. If I want to see homeless,destruction, crime, shoplifting, human feces on the road, moral debauchery and the woke capital of the world, I just go to Portland.
The real question is why are there places like this? To keep all of the above there, instead of coming to my state and destroying it also.
Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.
This is counterintuitive, but a sibling leaving was the most positive thing for me. Growing up, I had a sister that fought with my parents and caused all kinds of consternation in the house.
Fortunately, she got married early and when she left the house got quieter and all of our lives got better.
The leaving it would be my favorite thing. I instinctively knew that my best days were ahead and that those who were stellar in high school had reached their peak. They were the Al Bundy’s who would re-live high school the rest of their lives.
I’d been stuck with these losers since kindergarten and getting away from them and the town was my introvert dream.
One of my favorite things in life is closing a chapter and never going back. It started with high school.
Describe one positive change you have made in your life.
When starting out in the business world I learned to see opportunities and I decided to walk through the right door.
I also ended a bad relationship from college freeing me up to get ahead. After finding out that she was cheating afterwards it confirmed that I was making the right decisions
I mixed it up. I switch between lifting weights, swimming, golf, biking, long distance, and do them all by myself. I never needed a class or a group of people to be motivated exercise.
A Mother never has an ugly baby, so everybody will have their own favorite. But for me, it’s my dog I’ve bonded with him for years.he’s my pal all day long And loyal to a fault
How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?
I won Covid. I had a great time enjoying myself and not having to do stuff that I didn’t want to do. I even got to eliminate some people out of my life that needed it. I didn’t have to do social activities that were annoying.Most of all, I didn’t have to leave the house when I didn’t want to. It was a big introvert win.
When I first started working, the PC hadn’t been invented yet. I saw it as an opportunity knocking, and I ran through that door. Being in that industry allowed me to retire early and be on the cutting edge of most of technology.
The irony is, the head of the data processing department at the company I work for said there wasn’t any future in personal computers. I disagreed.
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
I’ve only learned later in life to prioritize myself for my mental sanity. A lot of my life growing up was not saying no enough it was a price I paid while growing up.
The goal I think of here is trying to set boundaries. If I’d have done it earlier in life, a lot of crap I deal with now wouldn’t be still bothering me.
What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?
I have spatial awareness and can see how things fit together. Also, as an introvert, I can read people through their body language I’ve had these all my life, but became cutely aware of them as I grew older.
What tattoo do you want and where would you put it?
It’s too permanent for me. I need a change of scenery. My thoughts and likes change too much for one. I’m not a fan of helter skelter tats either. If you’re going to do it, think it out in advance.
Let’s see, over the years it’s been fishing, hunting, karate, racing, tennis, Biking, and then there was kids and Life, and other stuff, and the next thing I knew I’ve lived in seven decades. I mostly do introvert stuff now so I get lost in my mind a lot.
What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?
Animal House, Caddyshack, Richard Pryor – Live in Concert, The entire Star Trek TOS, Captain America – The Winter Soldier, Star Trek – The Wrath of Khan, Star Wars – The Empire Strikes Back, Le Mans, Avengers, Captain America – The First Avenger, Star Trek, Best of Both Worlds