You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?

Some of the characters in this story aren’t going to make it to the end.

Unless you make the inner circle, you’re probably going to have to go, or at least wait a long time to get me to do something with you.

The introvert joke says that people die in my autobiography, but I’m not going to kill anyone. It’s more like avoiding them until they go away or just keep saying no to doing shit together that I don’t want to do.