I win almost every argument, hours after it happened. Most people I know can come back with a line that cuts you off at the knees and I can’t think of mine. I’ve given up on the childish retorts and name calling.

It’s always clear to me after the fact what I should have said, and more often than not, I was right, just not in time.

It was the same on the schoolyard. I won very few verbal confrontations.

What have I learned. Don’t play in games that you can’t win. I refuse to talk until I’m ready. I have learned to at least comment that the other person’s retort was mean, uncalled for and at least wrong. After I spend the time dissecting the other person’s points, they have usually forgotten the discussion.

There has been a rare occasion or two in my life when I said the right thing at the right time and surprised the heck out of everyone present. It’s not as satisfying as it would seem because you never know how much you’ve actually won.

Don’t embarrass yourself if you don’t come back. It’s a child’s game usually.

When I do unload though, stay out of the way as I’ve brought enough ammunition to destroy a college debate team.

Mostly, I’ve learned to walk away and realize that it isn’t that important.

My favorite is to get them to realize they were wrong by bringing it up in another conversation, usually days later because I couldn’t think of it at the time.