Category: My LIfe

The Real Reason Introverts Hate Small Talk

Why do the majority of introverts hate small talk?

By definition, introverts are people who feel drained by socializing and recharge their energy by spending time alone. Because small talk is neither emotionally nor intellectually stimulating, it can feel like an inefficient use of their limited social energy. In other words, if introverts are going to use up their energy, they want to spend it in ways that really count.

(Not sure if you’re an introvert? Here are 21 signs that confirm you’re an introvert.)

Also introverts tend to enjoy delving deep into topics and exploring ideas on a meaningful level. It’s more energizing to talk about things that feel important and relevant to them. Small talk, by its very nature, remains at a surface level.

Why Introverts Hate Small Talk

It’s not that introverts hate socializing or people. Even though we’re introverts, we still need close, healthy relationships to thrive.

As my friend Dr. Laurie Helgoe points out in her fascinating book, Introvert Power, “Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”

Small talk doesn’t bring people closer. Quite the opposite — it can create a barrier that prevents the kind of genuine, intimate connections we all crave.

Think about it. When two people get stuck in small-talk mode, discussing only “safe” and polite topics like the weather, they don’t really learn anything new about each other. They don’t get to know the other person or understand who they are. They miss discovering that their conversation partner, for example, wakes up early to go birdwatching, hates the color yellow, or grew up on a family farm.

As a result, the relationship doesn’t grow in a satisfying way. In general, introverts are interested in understanding people’s thoughts, feelings, life lessons, and experiences, which isn’t usually achieved through small talk.

Full story

What brands do you associate with?

What brands do you associate with?

Anything not woke to start with. As soon as they start the DEI crap, I won’t buy it or even walk into their store.

Now that we have that out of the way….

I told my wife that if she died, I’d buy a Ferrari. I’ve always been a Porsche fan, but I’ve had 3 of them.

Microsoft-Owned LinkedIn Using People’s Data To Train Artificial Intelligence Models – How I Got My Revenge

The story in a minute. First, I stopped working so I didn’t need LinkedIn for anything other than a track record of people I worked with. I wound up changing it though to suit me.

When they wanted pronouns, I used “pronouns are woke” instead of He/him. My college is Faber from Animal House fame, Knowledge is good. I’ve adjusted a lot of of things to poke fun at them can call them out for being woke. I won’t bore the readers, but I lost respect for them and show it.

Now this:

Professional networking platform LinkedIn has confirmed that it automatically uses personal user data to train artificial intelligence (AI) models without first informing its members.

The LinkedIn app displayed on a phone in London on Jan. 11, 2021. Edward Smith/Getty Images

The California-headquartered company said in a Sept. 18 blog post that it has updated the privacy policy element of its terms of service to include language clarifying how it uses the information shared with it “to develop the products and services of LinkedIn and its affiliates, including by training AI models used for content generation (‘generative AI’) and through security and safety measures.”

The platform said that there is an opt-out setting for members when it comes to using their data for generative AI training.

LinkedIn is owned by Microsoft, which has invested heavily in OpenAI, the developer behind ChatGPT. According to the FAQ section of the platform’s website, the AI models used to power generative AI features may be trained by LinkedIn or another provider, such as Microsoft’s Azure OpenAI service.

story

Sure, I know one profile isn’t going to change AI, but it’s the most I can do. I make the day of a lot of HR recruiters when my work background meets their search requirements and then they read the satire I’ve left there.

What’s your all-time favorite album?

What’s your all-time favorite album?

This should cause controversy. It is entirely personal

Led Zeppelin 2,3,4 Houses of the Holy or Physical Graffiti.

Living and dying in 3/4 Time, Son of a Son of a Sailor – Jimmy Buffett

Boston

5th Gear (Brad Paisley)

I could go on and on, but I’ll let others chime in

Here’s the list of best selling albums, but some people have strange taste. Linkin Park, Brittany Spears, Eminem are on the list.

We had the best songs and bands in the 70’s. It’s why they keep doing covers of them.

Best name? You can Tune a Piano, but you can’t Tunafish.

These ‘Extroverted’ Behaviors Annoy Introverts the Most – Especially Numbers 7-15

When someone feels the need to fill the silence with meaningless chatter while avoiding topics that actually matter

If you’re an introvert, you’re probably well aware that we live in an extroverted world. As Susan Cain pointed out in her bestselling book, Quiet, Western culture is shaped by the extrovert ideal — the belief that the “best” person is outgoing, highly sociable, and thrives in the spotlight.

However, introverts make up 30-50 percent of the U.S. population, and many of them find certain “extroverted” behaviors quite annoying. So, I asked the introverts who follow me on Facebook to share which behaviors bother them the most — and here’s what they had to say. The good news? If you can relate, you’re not alone!

Click here if you want to see the list

What would your life be like without music?

What would your life be like without music?

Although I am a trained musician with years of theory, the absence of music affects me like a lot of people. It is a part of much of my time, both physically and mentally.

I have it going anytime I exercise, which is nearly every day. I have biking playlists (3 hours) and gym playlists. Hell, this morning, I was listening to soft music at the driving range. While it doesn’t seem logical, I have a waterproof iPod that I use when swimming. I do miles at a time so it’s not your basic up and back and be done. That would be a lot more tedious once you go over 100 laps.

Where it gets me though is when I’m listening to a song (usually while driving) and it brings back a memory of a relationship or a time in my life. I relive it in my head and likely write pages in my diary about it. It is usually about growing up because the best music was from the 70’s.

I’m sure everyone does it, but I doubt they explore it in writing to flush out everything that happened when that song was on the radio.

Lately, I’ve forced myself to listen to songs that remind me of my cheating girlfriend who was a traveling whore (stewardess). I try to make myself see if I have any feelings and there is nothing left. I’ve emptied that tank other than the fact that it happened. I’m mostly grateful I didn’t wind up with her ass, being miserable.

Mostly, I’m very happy to feel the time in my life when my responsibilities were few and life was carefree and deadline free.

That’s what music does for me

How do you celebrate holidays?

How do you celebrate holidays?

I avoid them as much as possible.

I hate my birthday because the only real birthday happened a long time ago.

Christmas starts in September now and I’m fatigued by the time it comes. I don’t think most people believe in the real reason for Christmas anyway. They just want to decorate and get gifts. I question their sincerity when they are all nice in the season, yet give me the finger while driving.

As usual, because I’m an introvert, I have a hard time processing the attention and wish that it would just be over.

What’s your favorite word?

What’s your favorite word?

Perspicacious – of acute mental vision or discernment.

Synonyms:

shrewd, sagacious, perspicacious, astute mean acute in perception and sound in judgment.

shrewd stresses practical, hardheaded cleverness and judgment.

a shrewd judge of character

sagacious suggests wisdom, penetration, and farsightedness.

sagacious investors got in on the ground floor

perspicacious implies unusual power to see through and understand what is puzzling or hidden.

a perspicacious counselor saw through the child’s facade

astute, suggests shrewdness, perspicacity, and diplomatic skill.

an astute player of party politics

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

My first thought was the usual red flags for dating girls. There are the usuals like too many tats, piercings, hair dyed an unnatural color, and feminist attire.

Then it occurred to me that those are for the dating crowd. For me, it is chatty females. When they start in on nothing just because they can’t handle silence, I’m out of there. I can’t take small talk. I will talk for hours on something deep, but yapping just for the sake of talking is a red flag. That is the introvert in me coming out

When thinking deeper about the question and including the population of the world, the clear answer was disloyalty. That is the end of a relationship for me. Once that line is crossed, I can’t go back. Once you stab me in the back, that’s it.

Shout out to my college girlfriend who slept around I found out afterwards. This blog is for you.

If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

When this question first came up, the obvious thought of particular swear words or a pejorative towards feminists crossed my mind.

When reading the biography of Ben Franklin, he inspired me in a different direction. It would be to not use a word that could be judged as egotistical or one that tried to convince someone of your position. Rather, he supposed was if you could inform or educate someone to come to a more enlightened position rather than beat them over the head (which I do here) with your beliefs, you are a better man.

3 Important Things to Know About the Introverts in Your Life

Here are some excerpts. The link to the full article is below. If you are an introvert, you already know this. If you are an extrovert, it’s really for you. They are the cause of a lot of our anxiety and problems trying to drags us along to a bunch of stuff we’re uncomfortable doing.

1. They need time to mentally prepare for socializing.

An introvert socializes very differently from an extrovert. Many of us “quiet ones” can socialize with people in small or large crowds, but it comes at a cost to our mental and physical energy. Instead, we prefer smaller, more intimate settings, or better yet, quiet evenings at home with just one other person as opposed to those spent out.

Even though I’m an introvert, I can “play the extrovert” when needed. I can put on the perfect smile, don my best dress, and be the perfect lady on your arm. I’ll be charming, witty, and entertaining. I can host a family feast during the holidays or attend that lavish event you’ve been looking forward to all year……

2. Alone time is how introverts recharge.

Speaking of parties, can an introvert go out and party? Sure! But we will probably be the first ones to leave and go home. The crowd of people and the noise — while energizing to extroverts — is utterly exhausting to us introverts.

After The Event is when an introvert needs their alone time the most. I want nothing more than to go home, possibly take a long bubble bath, and spend a day in my pajamas. Downtime is how introverts recharge their energy, both mental and physical. (Here’s the science behind why introverts love — and need — alone time.)….

3. Introverts need their world a little quieter and less crowded.

Even though we love spending time alone, you have to understand that introverts still want to be included. We want to be asked. If we turn down your invitation to dinner or a night out, we might tell you that we’re busy or have other plans. Those plans could very well involve spending the day reading, writing, or binge-watching TV……

Click to read more, especially if you know an introvert. You need to know this

What daily habit do you do that improves your quality of life?

What daily habit do you do that improves your quality of life?

Exercise, both my body and mind. I swim miles, climb mountains on my bike, play golf, Tai Chi, and take my dog for long walks.

I continue to study foreign languages and take college level courses. I read a lot of books also. I’ve always loved that.

This keeps me busy. It’s hard to stay young.

What TV shows did you watch as a kid?

What TV shows did you watch as a kid?

I grew up in the 60’s before they took off the good TV because it was wholesome, albeit not something that challenged our intelligence.

So it was Batman (Adam West), Gilligans Island (My Mom hated us watching that), The Beverly Hillbilies, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie (Even then I knew Barbara Eden was hot), The Wild Wild West, Green Acres and some others of this ilk.

They wiped all of those out for the next round, but we still had WKRP, Taxi, Barney Miller and some of those that were good.

The Trouble With People Today, This Close To The Election

I was having a conversation with my buddy George who claims he was perceptive. He was giving me the litany of reasons girls don’t like Trump, while standing firmly behind voting for him.

I did get a lecture as to how good JD Vance was because he was young and didn’t put out mean tweets.

I asked him if he’d investigated Tampon Tim Walz. He’d never heard of him. I’m wondering myself how can you be perceptive if you don’t know 1/4th of the Presidential election lineup.

This caused me to wonder about what Donald Rumsfeld said.

I was watching that press conference and it struck me how true this really was. Most people don’t know much outside of their little world and never see the big picture.

That took me to this well-known joke:

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, “What would you like to talk about?”

Oh, I don’t know,” said the guy. “How about nuclear power?”

“OK,” she said. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff… grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”

The guy thought about it and said, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the girl replied, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?”

Most people don’t know shit, yet they talk a lot of shit.

I caught a lot of shit from my cousin about Trump’s mean tweets and being an Alpha male, you know the kind that girls let them do stuff to that they wouldn’t a less rich or powerful type. Instead, she went out of her way to promote the disaster that was our current president and how our nation was wrecked by incompetence. She failed to understand the concept of hypergamy. She also ignored that girls sleep with who they want, (most) guys sleep with who they can, except alpha males.

I don’t have a moral to the story other than look at yourself. You probably don’t know as much as you think. You know what you’ve heard and your opinions are usually reflections of other people you’ve heard. That means we all need to get better educated as to the candidates.

Critical thinking is a lost art. They don’t teach it in schools anymore (other than private schools). We sure could use more of that in this election cycle to bring some common sense to how and who we should have run our nation. History for example is a great teacher. We have a lot of it telling us what is the right thing instead of the politically correct thing.

I think our lives would be a lot less difficult if we all thought through things a bit more than what social media and the MSM tells us to think. It’s why I dumped Fakebook and Twitter years ago.

So after lampooning those who claim to be perceptive, I’m not going to do it. I am a person who sees patterns. What I see is a bunch of sheep being told what to think instead of thinking for themselves

YMMV

What’s your favorite time of day?

What’s your favorite time of day?

When I am alone. I need this time to recharge my social batteries and recover from small talk.

When I was hunting and fishing, I’d get up early. So early that not even the dog would get up with me. No one was yapping at me and I could get things done.

Now, I’ve retired and my outdoor activities are different, but the common element is that they are things I do by myself.

You can take the introvert out of the country, but you can’t change his human nature.

Were You Born An Asshole, Or Did You Work At It All Your Life

Every time I hear this song, I think of people that I worked with.

My first job was relatively free of them, but then the list started.

At ICS, there was Gilbert/Carl Fiorentino – they went to jail.

The next job at Core was these two:

Robert Adamson and Sondra Arkin. Robert tried to screw people over out of sheer spite and Sondra was a loser who was a vindictive feminist. There were a lot of others like the head of software development, but he was more of a wiener.

I moved to IBM and there were plenty of people like:

Laura Knapp, Sandy Carter, John Callies, Amy Loomis, Ed Barbini, and a lot of New Yorkers, but the top of the list when I hear the song is:

Ray Gorman.

I always go to him as he was tied with Amy as my worst manager. No one continuously lied to me as much as Ray from day one. He also always tried to screw me but never could. He was mad that I made more money than him and beat the system continuously when he couldn’t. He thought I didn’t know what he was doing, but everyone told me what he was up to behind my back (not just to me, he fired a guy who had taken leave to serve in Afghanistan) so I was always a step ahead. It was funny that he could never get away with screwing me because everyone else thought he was an asshole also.

He’s really lucky that I didn’t actually kick his ass. I saw him in Vegas at a computer show after he got transferred to Lenovo and he tried to act like nothing happened. He thought we were friends after backstabbing me. It was all I could do to not deck him. I did the right thing and walked away, but not next time, he’s got an ass whooping coming . I dislike sniveling pricks and that’s why I think of Ray when the song plays.

Toilet Paper: The Biggest Scam to Ever Exist?

After I visited Japan, I’ve had a bidet to clean my ass. No more shit-stained undies or worrying that you might smell like shit if there was a chance of some oral satisfaction.

Now this:

Ah, toilet paper. That innocent little roll sitting quietly in your bathroom, innocuous, and oh-so-essential—or is it? If you ask me, my dear wicked ones, we might be staring at the greatest con in the history of mankind. Yes, I said it. Let’s dish.

Think about it. We’re paying good money for a product that we literally flush down the toilet. Every. Single. Day. We’re tossing away cash, wiping it on our behinds, and sending it to the sewage system like it’s nothing. Is this not the ultimate racket? The Charmin bears are probably lounging in their gold-plated forest homes, laughing at us all.

Let’s dive into the origins, shall we? Toilet paper is a relatively modern invention, but somehow, humanity has survived for centuries without it. A few leaves, a splash of water, a bit of cloth—crude but effective. Fast forward to today, and we’ve been brainwashed to believe that without this fluffy, overpriced tissue, civilization as we know it would collapse. Really? The ancients managed, and last I checked, they built the pyramids.

And don’t even get me started on the marketing. Those cute little puppies and bears in the commercials, selling us the dream of the softest, plushest experience for our derrières—oh please. It’s a game, my friends—a sly, cunning game. The manufacturers have you convinced that more plies equal a better life. But does your rear end really know the difference between two-ply and four-ply? I doubt it.

Of course, I’m not suggesting we all start using leaves again—after all, we’ve evolved past that (haven’t we?). But isn’t it time to question the necessity of this everyday item that’s silently draining our bank accounts and our forests? There are alternatives, from bidets to bamboo—dare I say, the time for a toilet paper revolution is nigh?

Here’s the rest which tells you why you should wash your ass.

I never had a problem during COVID-19 because my bidet did the job. I was laughing at people trying to find it at the stores.

Where did your name come from?

Where did your name come from?

I’m not going to put my full name out in public for privacy reasons, but my middle name is Dutch and my last name is a version of the French name my ancestors came to the US with.

I’m also a namesake so add a Jr on to the end of my name. I’m proud of my father so I’m glad to have the same name.

What motivates you?

What motivates you?

I don’t have to be motivated. It comes from within. I was born with a sense of responsibility that causes me to do what needs doing. I also prioritize it over other things because it is the right thing to do. That is life, work, and the stuff you have to do.

I think it comes from my father who always did a complete job until it was right. It rarely took him two tries

It’s why I never understood people who let things go

Now for stuff I want to do, I know that there is some sacrifice to become good at anything. It was that was for all of my avocations and is what keeps me healthy.

It’s the right thing to do, period.

Sayings I Used For My Email Closing At Work

I kept this file hanging around and thought I’d share it, YMMV:

L’esprit de L’escalier – things you wish you could have said after you leave an argument

Talk to a fool and he calls you foolish

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”

Vous-avez le cerveau d’un d’un sandwich au fromage –you have the brain of a cheese sandwich

“Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.” (Sign hanging in Einstein’s office at Princeton)

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
– Dale Carnegie

Robert Frost – “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”

Arrête de ramer, tu attaques la falaise. (you can stop rowing now, you’re on the beach)

It is easy to lose one’s perspective in a mass of details.

Failure is but a paragraph in the book of each human life. It is the pages that follow that ultimately define us

Laurence J. Peter – “An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.”

“Racing is Life.  Everything before and after is just waiting.” Steve McQueen from the movie LeMans

Albert Einstein open original article “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former

Joseph Heller -“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed,
no matter which side he’s on.”

Sidney J. Harris – “A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.”

Abba Eban-“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”

When you win, say nothing, when you lose, say less. -Paul Brown

You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. -Michael Jordan

Every game is an opportunity to measure yourself against your own potential. -Bud Wilkinson

Excellence is not a singular act but a habit. You are what you do repeatedly. -Shaquille O’Neal

“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.” Winston Churchill, as quoted in The New American Newspeak Dictionary (2005) by Adrian Krieg, p. 96

 Rudeness is a weak person’s imitation of strength – Oscar Wilde

“What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

Losers quit when they’re tired. Winners quit when they’ve won

370H-SSV-0773H – read upside down

I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race [is] not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

For man also knoweth not his time: as the fishes that are taken in an evil net, and as the birds that are caught in the snare; so [are] the sons of men snared in an evil time, when it falleth suddenly upon them.

— Ecclesiastes 9:11,12 —

“Meetings are indispensable when you don’t want to do anything.” – John Kenneth Galbraith

If guns kill people, then pens misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, forks make you fat, and TVs make you watch porn.

Listen to people. If they are worth talking to, they are worth listening to first.

You can’t change what happens to you in life. All you can change is how you deal with it.

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a $hit in days.

Liberalism: Moochers electing looters to steal from producers

Political Correctness – A term used by whiny pussies that need stuff sugar coated

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” -Albert Einstein

 “I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him.” Abraham Lincoln

“This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.” Elmer Davis

“Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty.”  John F. Kennedy

“Sure I wave the American flag. Do you know a better flag to wave? Sure I love my country with all her faults. I’m not ashamed of that, never have been, never will be.”  John Wayne

“We must always remember that America is a great nation today not because of what government did for people but because of what people did for themselves and for one another.” Richard Nixon

“There is no limit to the greatness of America!” George W. Bush

“Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy.” Ann Coulter

“I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” Nathan Hale

“Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.” Adlai E. Stevenson

“One, if you attack my integrity, I will defend myself. If you attack my patriotism, I will defend myself. If you come after my family, I will counter-attack viciously, I will destroy you.” Scott Ritter

“The American patriots of today continue the tradition of the long line of patriots before them, by helping to promote liberty and freedom around the world.” John Linder  

“Patriotism is easy to understand in America. It means looking out for yourself by looking out for your country.” Calvin Coolidge

“This country will not be a good place for any of us to live in unless we make it a good place for all of us to live in.” Theodore Roosevelt

“You cannot spill a drop of American blood without spilling the blood of the whole world…. We are not a nation, so much as a world.” Herman Melville 

A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within.

– Ariel Durant

“Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.” – George Eliot

Quote du jour

But isn’t it always that way with liberals? The only time they seem to make any sense at all is when they’re drunk or you are.

–Burt Prelutsky

Ya gotta be tough if your gonna be stupid.

“Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rapidly promoted by mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end.”

Laurence J. Peteropen original article

“Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.”

“Never judge a book by its movie.”

“Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side.”

“Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
— Benjamin Franklin

“Give me four years to teach the children and the seed I have sown will never be uprooted.”
— Vladimir Lenin

“When an opponent declares, ‘I will not come over to your side,’ I calmly say, ‘Your child belongs to us already… What are you? You will pass on. Your descendants, however, now stand in the new camp. In a short time they will know nothing else but this new community.’”
— Adolf Hitler

Never take advice from women about women.

And the last one was when I retired:

If the phone doesn’t ring, it’s me – Jimmy Buffett

Why Some Introverts Hate Their Birthdays

I know I hate mine and it’s coming up, mostly the attention thing. No extrovert will understand this, but you should.

Anyway, here it is and boy is it right. Again, courtesy of Introvert Dear, link at the end

I’ve never really liked my birthday. In fact, it’s one of the days I dread the most. I hate all the extra attention and the pressure to make it a special day, usually with a party. It’s insufferable.

When I was a teenager, I used to have long, exhausting fights with my mother in the weeks leading up to my birthday. She always wanted me to celebrate with a huge party filled with family and friends. But to me, a huge birthday party is synonymous with torture, not celebration. Instead, I wanted something small, like going to the movies or the bowling alley with a few close friends.

No Birthday Party For Me, Thank You

More often than not, I used to win these fights and ended up doing what I wanted for my birthday. But all these arguments took a toll on my mental health and self-esteem. Whenever I refused to have a party or make a big deal out of my birthday, people called me a party pooper, a killjoy, and a downer. I didn’t have the words to defend myself (I was still a kid), so I internalized all those insults and convinced myself that there was something “wrong” with me. It took me years to realize and accept that there was nothing wrong with me — I am an introvert.

I am now a proud introvert who can defend the reasons behind my actions and behaviors. In case you’re curious, my relationship with my mother has improved, but I still hate my birthday. I believe a lot of the reasons stem from the fact that I’m an introvert.

Obviously, not all introverts hate their birthdays, but over the years I have noticed that a significant portion of the online introvert community feels aversion or indifference toward their birthdays. Here are a few reasons I believe some introverts (like myself) don’t like their birthdays.

Why Some Introverts Hate Their Birthdays

1. Too much attention

This one’s a no-brainer. Most introverts don’t like being the center of attention, so having an entire day dedicated to them can be quite uncomfortable. It’s especially tough when they are put on display in front of a lot of people, anxiously waiting to see their reactions while opening gifts or making a wish and blowing out the candles to the tune of “Happy Birthday.”

In my case, I especially hate all the attention I receive for something as trivial as turning one year older. I feel like I haven’t earned it, and I don’t know what to do with it. Being the center of attention makes me anxious, uncomfortable, and insecure. I always try to avoid it and redirect that attention to something or someone else. But when it’s my birthday, that is almost impossible to do because it’s “my day.”

2. The social exhaustion of a party

Birthdays and parties practically go hand in hand. When your birthday is coming up, everyone expects you to throw a big party to celebrate. Introverts tend to dislike parties because we don’t like big crowds, loud noises, and shallow socializing. This aversion to parties doesn’t change when the party is ours. If anything, it makes it worse.

When we throw a party, we might end up feeling anxious and worrying if everyone is having fun. It’s our party, so we feel the pressure and responsibility to be a good host and ensure everyone is enjoying themselves. But in the process, we sometimes forget to have a good time ourselves.

And don’t even get me started on surprise parties. It’s undoubtedly a nice gesture for someone to throw you a surprise party because it shows they care enough to go through all the trouble of organizing it. But a surprise party is practically a living nightmare for an introvert. If there’s anything worse than having a party, it’s not having knowledge or control over your own party.

3. The pressure to make it a “special” day

This is one of the things that bother me the most about my birthday. Sometimes, I just want to do something small to celebrate, like going to the movies or taking a long walk around the city. But the pressure from others to make it a “special” day can be too much. I get it, I was born on that day, but why does it have to be the most special day of my year? Why do I have to have the time of my life specifically on that day? That’s just setting myself up for failure because the expectations are always way too high. (And we introverts don’t like pressure anyway!)

Plus, when your birthday is coming up, it seems like everyone has their own opinion about how you should celebrate it. Instead of asking you what you want to do, some people tell you exactly what you should do. Whether it’s a party or going dancing at a club, your birthday might end up being about what other people want to do instead of what you want.

And God forbid you suggest you don’t want to do anything for your birthday — people might look at you as if you’re crazy. They will try to convince you that you’re wrong and that you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t do something special on that day.

4. All the phone calls and “happy birthday” messages

This one might come off as ungrateful because it’s undoubtedly nice to have people who care enough to wish you a happy birthday. But to an introvert, all that attention can be overwhelming.

Phone calls, in general, make some introverts uncomfortable. When the sole purpose of a call is to wish us a happy birthday, it’s even worse because all the attention is on us. After the “Happy Birthday”s and “Thank you”s, the inevitable small talk follows, making us even more uncomfortable. It doesn’t help that the people who usually call are relatives or friends you only talk to two or three times a year.

The same goes for the Facebook messages and texts you receive throughout the day. After the pleasantries and birthday greetings, you have to make small talk (again, in a different form) with all the people who wished you a happy birthday. This can be a bit too much, which is why I think some introverts hide their birthdays from their social media pages.

Want to feel more at ease in social situations?

Discover the secrets to enjoying fun, meaningful conversations. Know exactly what to say, even if you’re introverted, shy, or anxious. Feel less drained and have more energy while socializing. Click here to secure your spot in Jenn Granneman’s upcoming course, Easy Conversation.

5. The singing

Few situations are worse for an introvert than being in front of a cake while friends and family sing what feels like a three-hour rendition of “Happy Birthday.” I never know what to do or where to look when that melody starts, and suddenly I have a cake in front of me and dozens of eyes on me.

There is no appropriate reaction to that situation. Do I smile the whole time? No, that would look fake, and my cheeks would probably start to hurt after the third “Happy birthday to you…” Do I put on a poker face? No, that would probably come off as bratty and ungrateful. Do I sing with them? No, that would look awkward. Do I run away and hide in the bathroom? No, that would probably lead to a lot of questions. Whoever came up with this particular birthday tradition obviously hated introverts and wanted to see them suffer.

I Don’t Hate All Birthdays, Just Mine

I love celebrating my friends and family’s birthdays. I enjoy seeing them happy and buying them presents to celebrate another year of their lives. But when the spotlight is on me and it’s my birthday, I hate it. I hate the pressure, the attention, and the Happy Birthday song.

However, that doesn’t mean I haven’t enjoyed my birthdays before. The birthdays I have enjoyed the most are the ones when I did what I wanted to do, like going to the movies or the bowling alley with my best friends, not when I succumbed to the pressure from others and ended up doing what they wanted me to do.

So if you have an introvert in your life and you want to make their birthday special, just ask them what they want to do and respect it. Don’t assume everyone wants to celebrate with a huge party and be the center of attention.

And if you’re an introvert who hates their birthday like I do, there are ways to enjoy this “special day.” Set realistic expectations, put your foot down, and do what you want to do, whether that’s having dinner with your family, going dancing with your friends, or staying home with a good book and a Netflix marathon. I can’t promise you’ll start loving your birthday, but at least you’ll enjoy it more. And the good thing about birthdays is they only happen once a year.

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Happy Middle Child Day

History:

Middle children have a reputation for being ignored by their family, consequently growing up resentful, withdrawn, and disaffected. Although research shows little correlation between birth order and personality, the stereotype has persisted in pop culture characters like Jan Brady, who epitomizes the embittered middle child.

In fact, middle children might have some distinct advantages in adult life. The skills they develop as the “forgotten” sibling often translate into important qualities like empathy, diplomacy, and flexibility. In fact, over half of U.S. presidents were middle children, along with many other successful leaders.

Resourceful and independent but also cooperative and patient, middle children often grow up to be good leaders and helpful teammates. They can negotiate a variety of personalities but also do well on their own, and are known as risk-takers and independent thinkers. Because they’re frequently left to their own devices, middle children develop a self-sufficiency less common in their older and younger siblings.

Until the 1970s, American families had an average of 2.5 children. Today, due to modernization and economic and environmental pressures, fewer and fewer families have middle children, with the average American family having just under two kids.

National Middle Child Day began in 1986 as a way to celebrate the siblings who feel left out or unseen and give them a special day of their own. Until now, it’s been celebrated on August 12.

source

It was no party for me. I got shit on growing up and my youngest sibling has been gone for 12 years. I hope it was better for some of you out there. Whenever mine had a chance to help, she took the choice to screw me over instead of be a friend.

Perhaps it made me tougher and I had to try harder.

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What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?

What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?

A Swiss Army knife of life tools. I couldn’t narrow this down to just one so here’s some. I bet bocopro has the best answer though. Maybe others want weigh in.

Your wits, self-control, belief in God, knowledge you’ve learned from the hard lessons in life, pattern recognitions, martial arts skills, situational awareness of your surroundings, and perhaps a 1911.

Externally, I’m never without a knife of some kind and breath mints which are always in my truck.

5 Reasons an Introvert Isn’t Talking

Why are you so quiet?

As an introvert, I’ve been asked this question countless times. It mostly happened when I was a child, but I distinctly remember one instance in high school when someone asked if I was mute. I replied that I simply didn’t like talking that much.

Growing up, I was the shy girl who preferred reading and writing stories over engaging in conversation. Classmates would ask me this question, while teachers and other adults would often sigh and comment, “Oh, she’s so quiet!”

Not all introverts are shy and quiet, but I happen to possess both these traits. And, I require much more alone time than most people around me.

In an effort to help the world better understand us “quiet ones” — and perhaps spare some of my fellow introverts from having to answer this annoying question — here are five reasons why an introvert might not be talking.

The list is here. Click to see if one of them is you or someone you know

The takeaway: Don’t try to force an introvert to talk more or change them into an extrovert. It won’t happen. Love them for who they are because there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert.

Thanks again to Introvert Dear who makes my life more understandable.

What’s The Most Money You’ve Ever Spent On A Meal – And Was It Worth It ?

What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on a meal? Was it worth it?

When I started hunting, I had to buy a tree stand, camo clothes, a gun, and corn to grow to in a field to attract them. I then had to get the tools to process the deer after harvesting it and the same for my son.

I could have bought a venison dinner for under $50 bucks, but probably spent thousands on that first meal.

Absolutely worth it and every deer after that. I guess the cost of the above listed amortized over all the deer, but that first one cost a lot.

Why Some Introverts Hate Their Birthdays

I’ve never really liked my birthday. In fact, it’s one of the days I dread the most. I hate all the extra attention and the pressure to make it a special day, usually with a party. It’s insufferable.

Introvert Dear has a great article today. Here goes.

When I was a teenager, I used to have long, exhausting fights with my mother in the weeks leading up to my birthday. She always wanted me to celebrate with a huge party filled with family and friends. But to me, a huge birthday party is synonymous with torture, not celebration. Instead, I wanted something small, like going to the movies or the bowling alley with a few close friends.

No Birthday Party For Me, Thank You

More often than not, I used to win these fights and ended up doing what I wanted for my birthday. But all these arguments took a toll on my mental health and self-esteem. Whenever I refused to have a party or make a big deal out of my birthday, people called me a party pooper, a killjoy, and a downer. I didn’t have the words to defend myself (I was still a kid), so I internalized all those insults and convinced myself that there was something “wrong” with me. It took me years to realize and accept that there was nothing wrong with me — I am an introvert.

I am now a proud introvert who can defend the reasons behind my actions and behaviors. In case you’re curious, my relationship with my mother has improved, but I still hate my birthday. I believe a lot of the reasons stem from the fact that I’m an introvert.

Obviously, not all introverts hate their birthdays, but over the years I have noticed that a significant portion of the online introvert community feels aversion or indifference toward their birthdays. Here are a few reasons I believe some introverts (like myself) don’t like their birthdays.

story plus way more including the list of things that suck about birthdays for Introverts.

I hate it as it’s just another day for me. Now that I’m (much) older, it reminds me of how little time I might have left.

If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?

If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?

Nowhere.

Travel is such a piece of crap anymore (Crowdstrike anyone) that I’d prefer not to travel by air.

Let’s see, TSA hassle, waiting in lines to be in a tube with a bunch of people I’d never choose to be with, being a mule that has to haul around your life in a box while you are gone, no. Then going to places that I don’t really want to go to (or I would have) while having to live out of a suitcase.

On top of that, Boeing just paid mega millions for building faulty airplanes so I don’t trust them either (DEI anyone?).

Even if you had the total first-class package, the flight part is over relatively quickly and you are stuck somewhere until you can get home. You still have to wait in the airports and if there is a delay, you are as screwed as everyone else

This is like the travel question a few days ago. Get a nice summer house and enjoy a relaxing time

What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?

What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?

Before I start, I’m betting that people who read my blog have better answers than me. It’s usually the case. I enjoy the comments and it’s eye-opening.

I was a martial artist for years. I learned that you need balance in your life. Mine are Spirit, Mind and Body. I guess I knew it all along, but that experience put words to it.

For Spirit, you need a relationship with God at the forgiveness level. Others believe in their own thing.

For Mind, I take University classes, write extensively, and keep learning. I try to find patterns and opportunities as they present themselves to me in life. You have to challenge your mind or it will become stale. I also learn foreign languages from the dreaded Duolingo.

For Body, I work out six days a week. I bike the mountains, lift weights, Tai Chi, golf and keep myself moving. If you don’t, your body starts the process of decay. At my age, it’s already happening.

The other thing I do is stay away from people who make my life miserable. I don’t have that much time left and spending it with those who are unpleasant isn’t worth it.

What Are Your Future Travel Plans?

What are your future travel plans?

I’m doing it right now.

Instead of waiting at an airport with flights canceled by computer glitches, I’m up in the mountains where it is 30 degrees warmer than home. The food is grown on organic farms nearby and traffic is rare. The only sound I hear while typing this is birds chirping and my dog is at my feet.

I traveled for business for many decades. It was a time when you got service and comfort. Those are long gone now replaced by inconvenience and a general lack of concern by the service and travel industries.

There isn’t much to make me want to get on another cattle car to go wait in lines.

I also grew up in Central Florida before Disney World was built. I watched people pay exorbitant prices to wait for hours in the blazing sun for hours. I went at night or in the 2 weeks that are the Florida winter when my friends who worked there gave me tickets. That isn’t my idea of fun either.

I’d still like to hear from those who like it. It counter balances my position

Favorite Game (card, board, video, etc.) Why? It’s A Lay Up For Me

What’s your favorite game (card, board, video, etc.)? Why?

Once again, you get the introvert answer. I loathe those long assed games where people get together and socialize for hours playing Monopoly or Bridge. I’m ready to leave before it starts.

I had the chance to play video games in 1981 before Nintendo came out with the orange button controller. I knew then that I didn’t have time to waste playing the same scenario over and over, although I get the attraction to others.

If I play a card game, it’s going to be solitaire. I don’t really play it anymore, rather spend my time writing and learning, but anytime I can do something to not drain my social battery quickly.

I played golf yesterday. I can be alone there also. I have my earbuds in and tune out the world.

What Bothers You and Why?

What bothers you and why?

This goes like the line, how do I love you, let me count the ways. The list is endless and sometimes I feel like Clint Eastwood with, get off my lawn.

Rather than make a list, I’ll stick to my introverted life and go with small talk. Introverts have a low tolerance for conversation that isn’t meaningful or that isn’t going anywhere. When you are young, you might put up with it for a longer time or if there is a worthwhile reward (employment, sex, etc.). That reward is less as you move on in life.

Conversely, I love deep and engaging conversation, that is intellectually stimulating. Even then, there is a time limit and I need to recover.

I’ve learned to say yes, good, right, fine, good point, and anything that could end the conversation and not leave it open-ended.

If You Could Host A Dinner And Anyone You Invite Was Sure To Come, Who Would You Invite?

If you could host a dinner and anyone you invite was sure to come, who would you invite?

I had this question at a team meeting years ago at IBM. An answer that I thought was better than mine came from another person. This is how it went.

I’d invite myself from 20 years ago, now, and 20 years from now. It would allow me to forgive myself for the mistakes I’ve made, congratulate myself for the things I’d overcome, and get advice from the future me on how to live my life.

While it seems a bit narcissistic, fundamentally it would be sound advice.

I forget what I answered, but I’m pretty sure Jesus and my parents who had since passed were some of my guests.

Cancelled Plans, An Introvert’s Favorite Gift

Nothing is better for me than when plans are cancelled for an event. The minute I agree to do something I’m somewhat on the edge about, the regret begins. I bet I burn up as much of my social battery dreading going to these events as being there. Hell, I’m burnt out before I even go if I realize it’s a big mistake or someone says there will be a lot of people there.

In fact, if you want to give your introverted friend the gift they want the most, give them cancelled plans. It’s one of our favorites. Heck, call them up and say that the plans you had to go out together are cancelled, even if you didn’t make any. That’s how good of a gift it is.

I’ve Seen More Star Trek Than William Shatner

I, like a lot of Trekkies, have seen almost all of the episodes of the good series. I don’t include Discovery in that and I’m struggling to finish Picard. That includes seeing some episodes double-digit times. I saw The Original Series when it was first aired in the 60’s. Heck, I’ve met him and talked about it.

I maintain that The Wrath of Khan and First Contact are the best movies. They stayed true to the TV series and brought in characters like Khan Noonian Singh.

Well, it turns out that Captain Kirk doesn’t watch it much. Read and weep.

At 93 years old, William Shatner continues to surprise us.

In a new interview with Entertainment Tonight, the 93-year-old actor — who portrayed Capt. James T. Kirk on the original “Star Trek” TV series from 1966 to 1969, and reprised the role in various films — revealed he’s actually only seen a “few” episodes of his work and has “never seen” any of the spinoffs. 

“I’m gonna tell you something that nobody knows. I’ve never seen another ‘Star Trek’ and I’ve seen as few ‘Star Treks’ of the show I was on, I’ve seen as few as possible,” he said. “I don’t like to look at myself, and I’ve never seen any other. I love it, I think it’s great. I just don’t, you know, I don’t watch television, per se.”

“I’m watching documentaries, I’m watching the news, I’m watching sports, I’m watching things that were, documentaries that were made, but I don’t watch television for some reason,” he added. “I’ve been urged to watch certain shows by my family, ‘You’ll love this,’ and I just never get around to it.”

In May, while promoting his documentary “You Can Call Me Bill,” Shatner told The Canadian Press it’d be “an intriguing idea” to reprise Captain Kirk today. 

“It’s almost impossible, but it was a great role and so well written and if there were a reason to be there, not just to make a cameo appearance, but if there were a genuine reason for the character appearing, I might consider it,” he said.

The rest of the story.

Live long and prosper

What Time Do You Go To Bed And Wake Up?

What time do you go to bed and wake up currently?

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’ll be retired today. I have all the time in the world to sleep and now I can’t pull it off like the good old days

I go to bed when I’m tired. Sleep can be a battle anyway when you get older. I get as much as I can so getting a head start is not unknown to me.

As far as waking up? I don’t have a real choice in that matter either. If the sun is up, I’m hosed. I just have to hope I have enough by then. I’m glad I don’t live in Northern Europe where the sun is up by 4:30.

Then there is the fun game that seasoned citizens play called get up to pee. There is no telling how many times that will happen. That can throw a spanner in the works of trying to get back to sleep. An all nighter for me would be not having to piss, but I can’t remember that happening in a decade.

Avoid Crowds And Stress, And Don’t Rush Around

What strategies do you use to increase comfort in your daily life?

Yes, it’s Introvert time again. I am more comfortable alone than I am among a lot of people. While it’s possible to be alone in a crowd (introvert strategy here), it still comes with stress.

I also hate deadlines and the stress that comes with making it. I try to get stuff done well in advance so I don’t have to deal with it at crunch time.

Oh, and avoid family reunions as much and as often as possible.

I’m sure others have much better strategies to increase their comfort, but here’s my .02.

What Is Your Most Memorable Vacation?

Describe your most memorable vacation.

I’ve been on vacations as a kid, with that family growing up. I was kind of a tag along and did what my parents decided mostly. We went to the beach a lot growing up in Florida. That meant I grew up next to Disney World. Heck, we didn’t even have Disney until 8th grade for me. My memories there are of playing alone next to the ocean in my own world.

Then came vacations with a different family, my wife and kids. We traveled around the world. They were good times that I’ll remember while taking one kid fishing everywhere and the other doing anything to keep her from being bored. There was no time to recover or recharge my social battery.

Later in life I did stuff like sailfishing in Costa Rica or going to F1 in Italy and again they were good, but stressful trying to catch planes and waiting in huge crowds. I still had to rush to catch planes and was a mule hauling luggage around the world.

As always though, my introvert self comes out. Vacations where you are always on the run and trying to make everyone happy wore my social battery out to the point that I’d need a vacation to recover from vacation.

Now, I just go to the mountains where there aren’t many people and I can relax without having people acting like tourists or waiting in line. I have my stuff in my place and I can do gardening and tree trimming out in field with no one telling me what to do.

Not having the next deadline or trying to catch the next plane is my favorite.

The Science Behind Why Introverts Need Alone Time

Again, this comes from Introvert Dear, a resource that helps me understand me. The link is at the end

The Curious Connection Between Introverts and Rewards

When writing my book, I spoke with Colin DeYoung, a psychology professor at the University of Minnesota who had recently published a paper on introversion. He explained that one reason introverts need alone time is related to how we respond to rewards.

No, I’m not referring to the gold foil stars you might have earned in grade school (though it could be argued that stickers are indeed a reward for kids). For adults, rewards can be things like money, social status, social connections, sex, and food. When you get promoted at work or convince an attractive stranger to give you their phone number, you’re receiving a reward. Hurray!

Of course, introverts also value things like money, relationships, and food. However, researchers believe that introverts are wired to respond differently to rewards than extroverts. Compared to our more outgoing counterparts, we “quiet ones” are simply less motivated and energized by these same rewards. It’s as if extroverts see big, juicy steaks everywhere, while introverts often see overcooked hamburgers.

In fact, as any introvert can confirm, sometimes those “rewards” aren’t just less appealing — they can actually be tiring and annoying, like a big party. This brings me to another reason why introverts need alone time: We react differently to stimulation.

An Extrovert and an Introvert Go to a Party

Take, for example, two friends at a house party — one an extrovert, the other an introvert. They’re crammed into a crowded room where loud music blares from huge speakers. Everyone is practically shouting to be heard over the din. There are a dozen conversations happening simultaneously, with just as many things demanding their attention.

For the extrovert, this level of stimulation might feel just right. He sees potential rewards everywhere — an attractive stranger across the room, opportunities to deepen old relationships, and the chance to make new friends. Most importantly, tonight offers a chance to boost his social status within his friend group, especially if he navigates the evening skillfully.

So, the extrovert feels energized and excited to be at the party. In fact, he’s so motivated that he stays late into the night. He’s exhausted the next day and needs time to recover — after all, partying is hard work. But to him, the energy spent was well worth it.

Now, back to our introvert. See him over there, hunkered down in the corner? For him, the environment feels overwhelming. It’s too loud, there are too many things happening at once, and the crowd creates a dizzying buzz of activity. Sure, he wants to make friends, fit in, and be liked, but these rewards just aren’t as tantalizing to him. It feels like he would have to expend a lot of energy for something he’s only mildly interested in to begin with.

So, the introvert heads home early to watch a movie with his roommate. In his own apartment, with just one other person, the level of stimulation feels just right. He exchanges some texts with a woman he met a few weeks ago in one of his classes. Like the extrovert, he too wants friends and a romantic partner. However, he finds it too tiring to deal with the noise and socializing at a big party to make those connections.

The Dopamine Difference

Chemically, there’s a good reason the introvert in the above scenario feels overwhelmed, and it relates to a neurotransmitter called dopamine. This chemical, found in the brain, is often referred to as the “feel good” chemical because it regulates our pleasure and reward centers.

One of its roles is to make us notice potential rewards and motivate us to pursue them. For example, dopamine alerts the extrovert to the attractive stranger at the party and fuels his motivation to come up with a cheesy pick-up line.

Another important function of dopamine is reducing our cost of effort. Socializing requires energy because it involves paying attention, listening, thinking, speaking, and moderating our emotional reactions. Technically, socializing is tiring for everyone, including extroverts. However, dopamine helps make it less exhausting for them.

According to DeYoung, extroverts have a more active dopamine reward system. As a result, they can better tolerate — and often push through — the tiredness that inevitably comes with socializing. Much of the time, they don’t experience the same level of mental and physical fatigue that introverts do, thanks to this dopamine boost.

It’s called the “introvert” hangover, not the “extrovert” hangover for a reason.

Introverts Are Sensitive to Dopamine

Dr. Marti Olsen Laney explains the difference between introverts and extroverts in her 2002 book, The Introvert Advantage. She states that introverts are more sensitive to the effects of dopamine, requiring less of it to feel its pleasant effects. Too much dopamine, she notes, can lead us “quiet ones” to feel overstimulated — another reason why introverts need alone time

Extroverts, in contrast, may have a low sensitivity to dopamine, meaning they need more of it to feel happy. Social activities and stimulating environments increase dopamine production, which helps explain why extroverts relish socializing and “being on the go” more than introverts.

Introvert dopamine sensitivity
Source: “The introvert brain explained”

Interestingly, Dr. Laney explains that introverts may prefer to use a different brain pathway, one activated by acetylcholine. This neurotransmitter is linked to long-term memory, perceptual learning, and the ability to stay calm and alert, among other functions.

Introverts might enjoy spending time alone partly because of acetylcholine. According to Laney, this neurotransmitter can produce a sense of happiness for introverts when they engage in inward-focused activities, such as quietly reflecting or enjoying hobbies.

Extroverts Place More Significance on People

Finally, a study found that extroverts might simply find humans more interesting than introverts do. This finding aligns with the idea that introverts are less motivated to seek social rewards.

In this study, researchers observed a diverse group of individuals and recorded their brain’s electrical activity using an EEG. As participants were shown pictures of both objects and people, the researchers measured their brains’ P300 activity. This activity happens quickly in response to sudden changes around us and gets its name because it occurs within 300 milliseconds.

Interestingly, researchers found that extroverts showed the P300 response primarily when viewing images of faces, whereas introverts only exhibited this response after viewing objects. Essentially, extroverts’ brains became more active when looking at people.

This doesn’t mean that introverts hate people (though, admittedly, the human race can get on my nerves occasionally). Researchers still don’t fully understand introversion. However, these findings suggest that extroverts might simply place more importance on social interactions than introverts do.

So, the next time an introvert in your life needs alone time, remember that it’s not personal. Introverts need alone time because their brains are wired that way. It isn’t necessarily a reflection of how they feel about you or your relationship.

As for me, you can find me at home tonight. Preferably with the whole place to myself, that is.

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It Matters For Eternity

How important is spirituality in your life?

To Answer This, let’s not confuse being religious with being spiritual. A lot of religious people are doing time and hell when they thought they were doing good on earth.

Spirituality should be the center of your life. If you accept the postulate that your soul is eternal, then spirituality becomes the focus of your life by default.

Therefore, it is a very important aspect that is a part of all of the other decisions and directions in my life. It is important to know that I’m still able to take the wrong fork in the road despite this.

A Typical Marriage Conversation

This comes from my writings in 2020. It’s unedited and I read it and say yep, that’s marriage. I have this conversation frequently. Just change out the subject to anything or anybody and it goes about the same.


Here is my day. (Wife or T) Which chicken should we get out? Me: get out the one in the package. T: but they are too big. Me: then get out the other one. T: but they won’t work will they? Me: use whatever you want. T: but which chicken should I get out? Me: whatever works, it’s chicken. T: what do you think I should use. Me: (to myself: whatever the fuck you want, you aren’t listening anyway) You asked me and I told you and you don’t want to do it so look in the freezer and get out some chicken. T: but you bought them and I thought you bought another one. Me: look in the freezer and find the right one (about to shoot myself).

I never knew which chicken we got out. I knew it didn’t matter.

I’m not Jewish, but when I lived in South Florida, the guys told me this one. Why do Jewish Husbands die first?

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A: Because they want to.

How Did I Want To Retire? Early

How do you want to retire?

I knew in my 30s that I wanted to retire early. I enjoyed my work, but it was getting in the way of my life. I had stuff to do I still do.

So I had to prepare and live my life accordingly by these principles. Now I’m the king of retirement. I love waking up, knowing I don’t have meetings, email, texts, presentations or travel for business. Everything is paid off, and I can enjoy life more.

My mom told me she taught each of her kids financial independence, saving and spending. The rest of them are broke or died broke.

I respect people who love to work. I had a lot of other things to do in life also. I’m taking care of that now.

What are you passionate about? That one has changed over my life.

What are you passionate about?

I will say this, when I’m passionate about something I go in Well more than 100%. It’s probably why I’ve burnt out on a lot of stuff.

Let’s see, there was the tennis phase followed by fishing and hunting, karate, competitive bike, racing and let’s not forget a bunch of mini stuff that happened between.

I did learn the lesson about passion when I was working. If you could find someone that was passionate about a subject, you didn’t need to motivate them. It was there all along.

My Favorite Season Of The Year?

What is your favorite season of year? Why?

Look, I grew up in Central Florida without air conditioning. It was summer 51 of the 52 weeks of the year.

One of the best things in life for me was getting out of that state. It may have a great political climate, growth, no state taxes and other positives, but dreading to go outside because it’s so hot isn’t worth it.

Any of the other three seasons is great for me.

The Introvert Hangover And The Signs You May Have One

My go to page for this stuff is Introvert Dear. They nailed it on this one. Link below

An introvert hangover can leave you feeling physically and mentally exhausted, making you just want to be alone in a quiet place.

Does this sound familiar?

You’ve spent the whole day with your friends or family. You’ve had a great time eating, playing games, and catching up. But now, you’re so exhausted you can barely see straight, while everyone else seems as energetic as ever. In fact, they’re already setting up the next game as you’re wondering how you can slip out the door.

The next day, after the event is over, is no better. You might have a headache, and your body may feel sore and drained, almost like the onset of the flu. You’re tired — so very tired.

If this resonates with you, you might be experiencing something we call an “introvert hangover.”

What Is the Introvert Hangover?

Introvert, Dear writer Shawna Courter coined the term “introvert hangover” in this article to describe the exhaustion she felt after celebrating Christmas with her in-laws. She writes:

“An introvert hangover is a pretty terrible thing to experience. It starts with an actual physical reaction to overstimulation. Your ears might ring, your eyes start to blur, and you feel like you’re going to hyperventilate. Maybe your palms sweat. And then your mind feels like it kind of shuts down, building barriers around itself as if you had been driving on a wide open road, and now you’re suddenly driving in a narrow tunnel. All you want is to be at home, alone, where it’s quiet.”

Yes, the introvert hangover is real. It’s a funny term that describes the serious social burnout many introverts experience, marked by significant mental and physical fatigue.

Here are 12 signs that you might have an introvert hangover, which I discuss in more detail in my book, The Secret Lives of Introverts. You don’t need to experience all these symptoms to have one, and your symptoms might vary.

Here are the 12 Signs You have an Introvert Hangover

I never understood this for the first more than 5 decades. I did know that I’d instinctively look for a place to be away from the group once the event was over. I connected better with pets than strangers. I get it now and protect myself with time alone, sometimes before the event to make sure my battery is full

In an alternate world, it would be James T Kirk or Steve Rogers

If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

Since I’m in the real world, I’m happy with who I am.

But since the question was asked when I could be the guy that saves the world or the universe, there you go. If you can be a superhero at it, that’s just icing on the cake.

The Real Reason Introverts Hate Small Talk

Now, if you’re an introvert like me, you might hate the small talk ritual. Jon Baker, a business coach for introverts, found that 74 percent of introverts said they dislike small talk, as opposed to only 23 percent of extroverts who said they dislike it.

Why do the majority of introverts hate small talk?

By definition, introverts are people who feel drained by socializing and recharge their energy by spending time alone. Because small talk is neither emotionally nor intellectually stimulating, it can feel like an inefficient use of their limited social energy. In other words, if introverts are going to use up their energy, they want to spend it in ways that really count.

(Not sure if you’re an introvert? Here are 21 signs that confirm you’re an introvert.)

Also introverts tend to enjoy delving deep into topics and exploring ideas on a meaningful level. It’s more energizing to talk about things that feel important and relevant to them. Small talk, by its very nature, remains at a surface level.

But those aren’t the real reasons introverts might hate small talk.

Why Introverts Hate Small Talk

It’s not that introverts hate socializing or people. Even though we’re introverts, we still need close, healthy relationships to thrive.

As my friend Dr. Laurie Helgoe points out in her fascinating book, Introvert Power, “Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”

Small talk doesn’t bring people closer. Quite the opposite — it can create a barrier that prevents the kind of genuine, intimate connections we all crave.

Think about it. When two people get stuck in small-talk mode, discussing only “safe” and polite topics like the weather, they don’t really learn anything new about each other. They don’t get to know the other person or understand who they are. They miss discovering that their conversation partner, for example, wakes up early to go birdwatching, hates the color yellow, or grew up on a family farm.

As a result, the relationship doesn’t grow in a satisfying way. In general, introverts are interested in understanding people’s thoughts, feelings, life lessons, and experiences, which isn’t usually achieved through small talk.

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The quality I value most in a friend? Loyalty, maybe above everything else.

What quality do you value most in a friend?

I don’t mean the Batman and Robin type of a friend and loyalty. I just want somebody that I know I can trust, and not betray me. It’s like your girlfriend or wife not sleeping around behind your back.

What I ask is not too much and I don’t think it’s that hard to do. I know I give that to those that are really my friends. Being an introvert, I only let a very few people to the innermost part of my life. That’s a lot for a person like me to do so respecting that isn’t too much to ask in return.

Contaminating And Ruining The Nations Blood Supply

I’ve donated over 5 gallons until I wasn’t eligible anymore. I don’t even want blood from someone who got jabbed. Along with the HIV, you can keep the Spike Protein also.

After letters to my senators and an American Thinker article, Why is the FDA Contaminating America’s Blood Supply? it is the United Kingdom that finally comes clean:

Britain’s ‘day of shame’ as full scale of infected blood scandal revealed

‘The result of this inquiry should shake our nation to its core.  This should have been avoided.  It was known these treatments were contaminated; warnings were ignored repeatedly.

‘Time and again people in positions of power and trust had the chance to stop the transmission of those infections. Time and again they failed to do so.’

Patients “died or suffered miserably” as a result of being given contaminated blood products between 1970 and 1998 because medics and successive governments “did not put patient safety first.”  When the scandal was exposed, “the response of those in authority served to compound people’s suffering.”

You see, the UK has their very own “deep state.”

How did this happen?

Medicines for hemophiliacs, including one called Factor VIII, were imported from the US in the 1970s and 1980s [emphasis added] and prescribed by the NHS. However, the treatments were made from blood plasma donations which often came from groups at high risk for HIV and hepatitis C such as gay men, sex workers and prisoners and were often contaminated.

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The Ultimate Book List

I don’t know if you are a reader like me, but love books and am always looking for another source of recommendations.

Granted, my tastes don’t always go with the crowd, but here’s the crowd’s pick for a good book list.

Do I have any collections?

Do you have any collections?

Yes, memories lots of them. I write down as much as I can remember about my life and then if something pops up, I’ll insert where appropriate.

Sure, I have stuff on the wall, pictures on the phone and even photo albums that remind me of times that I’ve spent. It’s the words that I write down though which create the more vivid image in my mind, and experience the emotion of when it happened.

What is your career plan? Retire early, like always.

What is your career plan?

I knew this was the answer 25 years before it happened. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy the work that I did, but it was only a couple of stairs in Life and there were more stairs before and after.

At the end work was getting in the way of my life. I had so much going on at the time and still have so much to do.

Job For Just One Day? Be A Super Hero

What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?

It would be cool to be Captain America or Superman for a day.

Having to wake up and save the world all the time would be too much responsibility, but it would be cool to be a bad ass and protect others.

Either that or be Captain Kirk.

The Decline Of Star Wars And Star Trek

There may be bigger Trekkie or Star Wars fans than me, but they are at conferences and cos-play. I have been disappointed in TPTB who made both woke. Read below and weep for those of us who have been shit on by the movies and TV shows that have been put out lately.

For those who do not follow science fiction, Star Wars and Star Trek have been on the decline since 2005, at the very least. 

Things did not come to the forefront until George Lucas sold Star Wars to Disney in 2012 and Kathleen Kennedy took over as head of Lucasfilm.  Kennedy loudly announced “The Force is Female” while Disney executives while Disney executives proudly proclaimed their “Not so secret gay agenda.”

Although Trump-supporter Manny Coto was the showrunner for the last season of Star Trek: Enterprise in 2005, the series as been on the decline ever since the Berman/Braga Era.  This was after Gene Roddenberry, the coke-addicted alcoholic who abused the staff of Star Trek: The Next Generation through his attorney, Leonard Maizlish, was forced out in 1989.

Alex Kurtzman took over after the 2009 Star Trek film, and things went downhill from there.  Star Trek: Discovery is one of the most widely-mocked shows in history, and Star Trek: Picard was an overall terrible production.  Star Trek: New Worlds even had January 6 as a “major event.”

The Covid Lies Diaries

The government, the media, the Pharmaceutical companies, China, Fauci, Gates, FDA, WHO, CDC…all of them either lied or refused to tell us the truth.

Key takeaways from Dr. Fauci’s transcribed interview earlier this year, provided by The Select Subcommittee on the Coronavirus Pandemic :

  • Dr. Fauci claimed that the “6 feet apart” social distancing recommendation promoted by federal health officials was likely not based on scientific data. He testified that the guidance “sort of just appeared” out of nowhere.
  • Dr. Fauci “did not recall” Covid-19 information and conversations relevant to the Select Subcommittee’s investigations more than 100 times.
  • Dr. Fauci testified that he signed off on every foreign and domestic NIAID grant without personally reviewing the proposals.
  • Dr. Fauci acknowledged that the lab leak hypothesis is not a conspiracy theory.
  • This comes nearly four years after he “prompted” the publication of the now infamous “Proximal Origin” paper that attempted to “disprove” the lab leak hypothesis.
  • Dr. Fauci admitted that America’s vaccine mandates — which he promoted from his position of power at the White House — could increase vaccine hesitancy in the future.

Not a lie

You might have come here from Knuckledraggin My Life Away. I was clued into it about the same time Ken started posting the following stuff, very early on.

This was hidden the whole time, the lie was they refused to tell us because there was money to be made on the jab and an election to fix.

For the sheep

This is me and I hope it’s some of you.

Here’s an early lie they told circa 2021

Keep saying no to anything mRNA, and don’t be a maskhole.

Back to elections….

I know a lot of you did this.

And the Coup De Grace, look who got it right and defied everyone, especially the government!

The Verdict is In: The Amish Approach to Covid was Superior

It could be one of the most important lessons learned for the next pandemic. And it should make international headlines.

But it seems like those who made the mistakes during Covid aren’t very interested.

The Amish population that largely rejected public health recommendations fared no worse in terms of health impact than the rest of the country that masked, isolated, and vaccinated. That’s according to available data and a federally-funded study that attempted to evaluate the Amish approach.

These findings imply the US could have avoided experimental vaccines that have serious side effects; and circumvented costly shutdowns that devastated the economy, travel, businesses, mental health, and education at the expense of trillions of US tax dollars.

Read on for details at the link above.

And Finally, those MFCS tried this:

Scientists tried to give people with Natural Immunity COVID — and failed

They learned that there is such a thing as natural immunity and never bothered using it as a cure, because every one of them was getting paid off to push the jab.

Any time I Can Be Alone Is My Favorite Day

What is your favorite holiday? Why is it your favorite?

I’ve always had a problem with attention on me or the hustle and bustle of holidays.

It’s counterintuitive to me that people act one way because someone said a day is different and then revert back when it was over.

I learned that it’s because of my introverted nature that causes me to process things differently than others.

It’s why days alone to recharge are better for me. They are my vacation and holidays.

I never got birthdays either. It’s just another day for me. I prefer not being the center of attention.

I’m glad others get excited about it but it’s not for me.

I refuse to use Emoji’s

What are your favorite emojis?

Everybody has their own preferences. I find them annoying and superfluous. It just seems like clutter instead of saying something directly.

Here’s how I really feel

My experience has been that females are more likely to use them. It also seems like they are for a younger generation than mine, so I don’t use them.

They also can be misinterpreted to mean the wrong thing, something I avoid at all costs.

They add color to the text, but not always meaning. My world is black-and-white.

Where Was This Teacher When I Was Growing Up?

Michelle Solis, 46, pled no contest after being accused of raping a 14-year-old student on the child’s eighth grade graduation day in 2021.

A press release from District Attorney Mike Ramsey indicated that Solis, who was a 20-year veteran educator, raped the 14-year-old inside a locked classroom on graduation day, Daily Mail reported. Solis also allegedly sent explicit photos to the boy which “made their way back to local parents,” facilitating the investigation by police.

Solis, who was the boy’s teacher at the middle school, “friended” him on Instagram a few weeks prior to his graduation. Records indicate that was the start of her inappropriate relationship in which she allegedly sent him four inappropriate images. Then, on the day of his graduation from Sycamore Junior High School in northern California, she raped him.”

story

Not once did a teacher ever try this in any school that I knew of. Hell, I had a crush on my German teacher. Why didn’t she try it? She was about 25 at the time. I wouldn’t have fought back

Anything deep, I’m an introvert and avoid small talk.

What topics do you like to discuss?

I’m not afraid to discuss anything that’s interesting. I can cover a large range of topics and do when prompted.

What is difficult for me is small talk. The banality of it is a painful exercise that I have to go through.

So my talking skills are good with deep conversations and any distraction to end small talk and my having to suffer through it.

The Two Types Of People In An Introvert World

Most people are temporary because it takes a long time to get to know someone and it’s hard to find the traits that are important. Loyalty is usually the final demarcation line for me. If they cross it and are disloyal, it’s over for me.

Take my college girlfriend who turned out to be a traveling slut (stewardess). Even though I didn’t find out until afterwards that she was sharing herself with others, that eliminated her from the permanent people pool. I didn’t have to feel the hurt and pain during the relationship, but the dishonesty got me out the door early.

I had acquaintances all throughout my life, but it’s hard to call them friends. The extroverts in my life meet and talk to someone for more than 5 minutes and it’s their new friend. Those are just temporary people for me. It takes a long time and a lot of things in common before they make permanent status. Very few make it.

You have to build a relationship and that is hard enough for me (and I’m guessing other introverts). We’d have to share something in common long enough to see if there is anything there. It still takes a long time for the walls to come down. Then there is the trust tests. I don’t dream them up, but they present themselves in life. I’m usually forced into a situation, but you can tell if a person is going to stick with you or stick it to you.

Even my siblings were temporary. They are around, but don’t count for me as permanent people for the loyalty reason. One can only take so much screwing over growing up and then the walls come up.

There’s your thought for the day.

A much deeper dive can be found here. It is by Introvert Dear who I’ve linked to on the home page describing why introverts don’t consider everyone their friend. It is a special to us and this article tells you why a lot better than I do.

The times I didn’t say no

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

It’s more than one time, but it’s the same thing. I got asked to do something, go somewhere or be with some people that I shouldn’t have.

It was about setting boundaries. I remember the feeling or not wanting to be there, we’re doing whatever we were doing, saying the things I said or being with the people I was with.

If I had learned to say no, instead of going with the crowd, a lot of things would’ve turned out differently. I would have gotten in a lot less trouble, not done as many stupid things and would have not been in situations I didn’t want to be in.

I learned the hard way to protect myself from these instances and people, and as a result of gotten in to a lot less trouble.

Admitting Failure

What makes you nervous?

I reached a point in life where I have learned enough that I shouldn’t make bad mistakes or faux pas, yet I do.

It’s difficult enough to express your real feelings, compounded by knowing you’ve let somebody else down is soul crushing sometimes.

I can make it worse by rehashing it in my mind over and over until the point I have to admit it or ask forgiveness.

How do you use social media?

How do you use social media?

Very restrictively. For informational purposes only, and for here, it helps me discover patterns the ongoing 4D chess of the world.

I cut out most of the childish nonsense. People posting meals, and especially the past that I already said goodbye to once.

My best move was eliminating Facebook.

Question For The Day – Describe a Decision You Made In The Past That Helped You Learn Or Grow

Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

When I stopped caring what people thought of me. It was incredibly freeing when you don’t have to worry about your image in other people’s minds.

I heard of saying that went like this, “you’ll stop caring what other people think about you when you realize how little they do “.

Describe a positive thing of family member is done for you

Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.

This is counterintuitive, but a sibling leaving was the most positive thing for me. Growing up, I had a sister that fought with my parents and caused all kinds of consternation in the house.

Fortunately, she got married early and when she left the house got quieter and all of our lives got better.

Describe some thing you learned in high school

Describe something you learned in high school.

The leaving it would be my favorite thing. I instinctively knew that my best days were ahead and that those who were stellar in high school had reached their peak. They were the Al Bundy’s who would re-live high school the rest of their lives.

I’d been stuck with these losers since kindergarten and getting away from them and the town was my introvert dream.

One of my favorite things in life is closing a chapter and never going back. It started with high school.

Describe one positive change you have made in your life

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

When starting out in the business world I learned to see opportunities and I decided to walk through the right door.

I also ended a bad relationship from college freeing me up to get ahead. After finding out that she was cheating afterwards it confirmed that I was making the right decisions

Things About People I Observe At The Gym

Being an introvert, I tend to notice a lot of details about people. I’m at the gym a few times a week and thanks to my health plan, I belong to multiple gyms. These observations are the same though.

CLOTHES AND DRESSING

No matter what the media tries to tell us about gender identity, males are distinctly different than females (no shit Sherlock). It’s a fashion show for the girls. They dress up in multiple layers, wear makeup and are far more concerned about their looks than the guys.

Sure, I occasionally catch a meathead trying to see how big his biceps are in the mirror, but they check out their form. Girls are looking at their hair, asses, outfits and other girls who might be the competition for best dressed, prettiest or some other bauble more desirable than what they are wearing.

Speaking of clothes, I can tell just how far a girl is into her workout by the state of her clothes. They mostly start with some form of sweats covering up everything. It is still somewhat suggestive as a shoulder is showing or the top is cut to the midriff, but mostly it is discreet to start.

As the workout progresses, various layers of clothes come off. I get that you work up a sweat, but the truth is that most of them are looking at their phone or talking more than working out (except on the cardio machines). Not a one of them has a bead of sweat on them and the a/c is close to meat locker in there. It is part of the show. So full sweats, just starting. Just the sweat top, mid workout. If they are down to their matching top and bottom, accessorized with matching socks, shoes, phone, scrunchie, earphones and other, it’s near the end or over 30 minutes into their routine.

Let me say that there is no way they don’t know they are putting on a show. They look at themselves far too much for it not to be. Frequently, the outfits are so small and revealing that constant adjustment must be made to not let something slip out. Their clothes aren’t hiding anything anymore anyway.

The guys are likely to come in wearing anything. It’s in levels of fashion spanning decades of styles with matching unkempt hair. They do rival the girls for most tattoo’s though. Looking their best is not at the top of the list of most of the guys I notice.

I’m in a college town and these girls are in the prime of their lives. Their bodies are in shape just for waking up. Time will take it’s toll on them like it does with everyone, but this is the best they are going to be.

LEARNING HOW TO USE YOUR BODY, EXPERIENCE IS EVERYTHING

It’s a shame that life is the way it is. You haven’t explored your abilities or learned enough about what you can do to make the most of yourself. Take sex for example. Just because you have one set of equipment or the other doesn’t mean you know how to use it yet. It takes practice and discovery to really be good at it. Very few who look their best are good in the sack. Conversely, when you figure most things out about you and how to take care of the other person, you’ve used up the years where you were in your prime without knowing it. I digress.

I listen to some of the conversations (because I can’t drown it out with my noise cancelling earbuds) and the discussion is benign and childish. It’s the same thing with your sex equipment. Just because you look great and have what guys want certainly doesn’t make you smart or interesting. I wonder to myself if I was stuck with one of these girls, what the hell would I even be able to talk about. I can’t listen to their droning on about their inexperienced and uneducated lives. The depth of their knowledge wouldn’t cover your feet in the pool of life. It hasn’t happened enough to them in life to really know about much yet. Once they learn, the prime of their physical life is over.

I’m not giving a lot of the guys a pass either, but they don’t talk much so it’s mostly about what set they are on and what body part they are working on. It gives no indication of their education or ability to be interesting conversationally.

The other thing I like to notice is who people remind me of. Nearly every time I’m there, I see someone who reminds me of a person I’ve met in life. I give them names in my head of that person. It also makes me think of how they will look when life takes it’s toll on their bodies and looks. Who is going to get an expanding back porch. Who is getting a gut. Who’s hair is falling out and what other ailment is going to happen when they get older.

I think about other things that bother the heck out of me a lot more than what others look like, when I have to use the public toilet for example. That happened to me at the gym recently.

People are interesting. I’d rather look at them than talk to them it seems. The gym is certainly the place for people watching. If I was busy talking, I’d never stop to notice or think about these things, but that is the introvert life.

I’m Traveling To Hell This Week

When I say hell, of course I mean Portland. It’s a shithole now. Oregon is beautiful, but for some reason all the shit not in California or Washington is in Portland. It’s the required trip to the family.

All I hear or read is about problems with Boeing jets, DEI in Air Traffic Control and parts falling off of jets because maintenance workers require diversity. I don’t want to get on a plane, but there is no way out. I figured the statistics are with me and if some shit does go down, my rare flights should exempt me.

When I get there, I’ll get to deal with a city rampaged by Antifa, BLM and many other miscreants. Other than SF, it is the homeless capital of the world, not to mention walking on the streets to the freak show and shit on the sidewalks.

I’ve scheduled some posts and meme’s to enjoy, including stories and observations of mine. It’s a look into my head when I put these out. I’ll cover introverts, the gym fashion show, sibling hell, lots of meme dumps and other stuff.

I may get a post in about my adventures while there, but no promises. Maybe I’ll keep some readers, like Ellie K, a new subscriber. With all the shit I post, I’m surprised she’s still there, but there you go.

What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?

What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?

Coffee, breakfast, something to read, and please quiet, lots of quiet.

On the remote chance, the dog gets up, I’ll take care of him. He doesn’t talk back.

What about you?

How has technology changed your job? It gave me a career

How has technology changed your job?

When I first started working, the PC hadn’t been invented yet. I saw it as an opportunity knocking, and I ran through that door. Being in that industry allowed me to retire early and be on the cutting edge of most of technology.

The irony is, the head of the data processing department at the company I work for said there wasn’t any future in personal computers. I disagreed.

How has it changed yours?

How Often Do You Say “No” To Things That Would Interfere With Your Goals? Not Enough

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

I’ve only learned later in life to prioritize myself for my mental sanity. A lot of my life growing up was not saying no enough it was a price I paid while growing up.

The goal I think of here is trying to set boundaries. If I’d have done it earlier in life, a lot of crap I deal with now wouldn’t be still bothering me.

What’s your secret skill?

What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?

I have spatial awareness and can see how things fit together. Also, as an introvert, I can read people through their body language I’ve had these all my life, but became cutely aware of them as I grew older.

What tattoo do you want and where would you put it?

What tattoo do you want and where would you put it?

It’s too permanent for me. I need a change of scenery. My thoughts and likes change too much for one. I’m not a fan of helter skelter tats either. If you’re going to do it, think it out in advance.

What Activities Do You Lose Yourself In?

What activities do you lose yourself in?

Let’s see, over the years it’s been fishing, hunting, karate, racing, tennis, Biking, and then there was kids and Life, and other stuff, and the next thing I knew I’ve lived in seven decades. I mostly do introvert stuff now so I get lost in my mind a lot.

What Movies Or TV Series Have You Watched More Than 5 Times?

What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?

Animal House, Caddyshack, Richard Pryor – Live in Concert, The entire Star Trek TOS, Captain America – The Winter Soldier, Star Trek – The Wrath of Khan, Star Wars – The Empire Strikes Back, Le Mans, Avengers, Captain America – The First Avenger, Star Trek, Best of Both Worlds

My Youth: Church League Softball Fistfight, Nickle Beer And Denny’s Grand Slam

After graduating from high school, a group of us decided to play in an organized softball league. Our choice at that time was down to church league softball. While we played and did OK, which I’ll talk about later, the extracurricular activities were more interesting. It’s later on in the post.

Our team was part of of the same group who lost almost every game in church league basketball, mostly because we were a bunch of white guys thinking we could play. There were some people who resembled athletes on this team. My roommate George and I both played tennis for our colleges, but that didn’t qualify us as good softball players. We had a couple of players who were little league stars, but as a group we weren’t that good.

Before I get started, this is a good lead in to the story.

We didn’t have a fistfight, at least on our team, but it did happen, between two other teams, both of which we played. A lot of other growing up stuff did happen though.

We were in that stage of just being out of high school, but growing up late and were starting to experiment with life. We also weren’t the star players on the baseball team either.

I guess we started out serious. We had just enough people for a team, All Saints Episcopal (we would be anything but Saints). I don’t remember if we had a team name, but it wouldn’t have been the Yankees. Misfit’s would have been more accurate. If anyone bailed, we’d have to forfeit. It was close some days whether enough guys would show up, but we managed to play the season. Of the nine guys, I think we had 4 that who actually played organized baseball. They put up with the lack of skills by the rest of us.

We picked positions and somehow I got 3rd base, far too close to home and a position I’d never played before. I’m pretty sure I was the kid in right field in my one year foray in little league at 7 years old. After a few practices, we thought we were ready to play and tear up the league. I think we believed the same thing in the basketball failure a few years earlier when we won 1 game all season.

In the first game, damn near the first batter of the year, a hard grounder was hit right to me. I was as shocked as anyone when I fielded it. I turned and fired a throw to the first baseman about 5 feet above his head. Since this was over 40 years ago now, I can’t remember whether we won or not. I’m pretty sure we lost as we did a lot of that.

In a subsequent game, another batter hit a line shot and I stuck my glove up and actually caught it. I was as surprised as anyone on the field, but had the sense of awareness to look like I meant to do it.

What saved us in a lot of games was enough singles by us to get batters on, but count on our big sticks, Pat and Mark Greene, Chris Patterson and an occasional lucky hit by others to score enough runs to overcome the errors in the field. Occasionally, we’d actually pull off a great play like a throw from deep left to home to get the runner out. Since the catcher never played before, it was a crap shoot whether he’d catch it or not and that we got the out surprised everyone on the field. He was a Dad who was a good sport to put up with us. He had no idea what we did off the field and was as (in)capable as the rest of us on the field (barely).

We’d go on to be about a .500 team. Being a church league, we were fortunate to face groups of people without any little league players who were actually worse than us, or a forfeit.

In the last game of the season against St Margaret Mary, my parents finally came to see me play. They had Ryan Sanderson on the other side, who was a starter at the University of Florida. Ryan also starred at our high school and it would be like playing pick up basketball with Michael Jordan on the other team. Ever at bat went over the fence.

I hit my only homer of the season in that game, in front of my Dad. It was a perfect ending to my only year of somewhat organized softball. Our team went on to hit 16 homers in that game and lost. The other team hit over 20. I’m sure Ryan had at least 5, or how ever many times he got up to bat. Hitting one out in front of my parents overshadowed the loss. Plus, the following made us forget everything.

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES

On the field, we’d try stupid stuff like our first foray’s into chewing tobacco thinking we would be like the big leagues. I remember putting a wad of Red Man into my mouth and heading out to third. By mid inning, I was spitting everything I could and dying for the inning to end so that I could get that shit out of my mouth without embarrassing myself in front of my friends. We routinely had macho contests to prove our masculinity and I couldn’t fail at this in public.

Here’s Robert Earl Keen on dipping snuff, funny song

Fortunately, it was a quick inning and I escaped embarrassment as well as losing my dinner.

After it became clear that we weren’t going to the world series, our other adventures in life crept in. We decided that it would be a good idea to get high before the games and see if we could play. Mark Imhoof who was a regular user provided the goods and the bong. He was the kid who got high in High School, had long hair and a van. He was a good player and the friend of someone else on the team, but he never went to our church. Come to think of it, most of the rest of us had stopped going to church by then also. Since I was high, I’m sure we didn’t play our best, but by then we didn’t really care as much. We came out of that van like Cheech and Chong, trailing smoke.

My roommate George and I lived in his parents house. It was my first home away from home. His parents were missionaries in Guatemala at the time. When the cat’s away, we were the mice. It was the place our friends from the team came to to do stuff they couldn’t do when they were in town and at their parents, meaning drinking and getting high. Many of us lost our virginity there, to the same girl on different nights in different rooms in the house.

AFTER THE GAME

Being a church league team, we celebrated after the game spiritually by going to wherever the pitchers of beer were the cheapest. I recall one dive called the Copper Top. We also went to the Steak Out where you got free Sangria with an order of a steak tough enough to wear as a desert boot. I’m sure they lost money on us given what we drank and we’d go out afterwards for more. We finally got kicked out and got banned from coming back.

There was always beat the clock at Big Daddy’s. If you know the game, the price goes up after a certain time, so you drink as fast as you can at first to keep the price down. We were in college working for minimum wage at the time ($2.00). The beginning price was a nickel a beer and it doubled every half hour. I was hammered by the first tick of the clock as were the rest of the team.

On the off chance that we played on Wednesday, it was also nickle beer night at Rosie O’Grady’s in downtown Orlando.

Nevertheless, a healthy activity sponsored by a religious organization turned into a night of us getting fucked up. I don’t think I had early classes, but I missed them if I did.

That of course led to…

LATE NIGHT GREASE TO SOAK UP THE ALCOHOL

We hit a number of places. Back then, the Grand Slam was $1.99, affordable and enough food to soak up some of the beer before bed.

The other place was Krystal’s. I think the burgers were a nickle there also. It became a dick measuring contest to see how many you could eat. I topped out at 11, but Marc Greene regularly at 25 and went over 30 on some nights. I was in awe of him being an eating machine.

In the end, we only lasted that one season. We were kind of done when we started getting high before the games.

I lost track of most of the players. George and I wound up being best men at each other’s weddings and today are still friends. He transferred out of state to another college and I moved on campus at mine. We never went back to that church again, except for my parents funerals.

Growing up comes in many flavors. This was just the start of my fucking up in life. I had many adventures to come that made this tame.

This Is Life As An Introvert

Small talk is one of the more tiring things for introverts,. I avoid that situation at every chance. I love a deep conversation, but once someone starts in on how their day went in minute detail, I can’t help but turn into my own world and wish the conversation to be over as quickly as possible.

The other is ice breakers. Tell us something about yourself. Um, I don’t like to talk about myself, how’s that?

I’d hold it before I’d go just to not talk to not be here. This is at a Dr.’s office though. I see the door where you pass the piss sample in the cup

If I say call me, it’s because I’m betting you won’t. I’m tossing over the fence for you to make the move. I wouldn’t call either way. A cryptic text at best that doesn’t leave much of a window to respond.