The Best Of Pennywise Warnings, For Those Who Get IT

And based on some comments that I got on these posts, many of you do get IT. Note: I used the same title for almost every post, but they are all different.

For one reader who told his kids, do you want to float?

Pennywise Warning For Those Who Get IT

Pennywise Warning, For Those Who Get IT

Pennywise Warning, For Those Who Get IT

I Didn’t Know If This Was Dick Humor Or Pennywise Warning For Those Who Get IT

Pennywise Election Warning, If You Get IT

Pennywise Warning, For Those Who Get IT

Pennywise Halloween Warning, For Those Who Get IT

Pennywise And Butt Light Warning, For Those Who Get IT

Another Pennywise Warning, For Those Who Get IT

Another Pennywise Warning, Post Valentine’s….If You Get IT

Another Pennywise Warning, For Those Who Get It

Another Pennywise Warning, For Those Who Get IT

Caution, Pennywise Warning, For Those Who Get IT

More Pennywise Humor, For Those Who Get It

Beware Of Pennywise – For Those Who Get It

What is the most interesting thing you’ve lost and found?

What is the most interesting thing you’ve lost and found?

I was trout fishing in Denmark with my wife’s Brothers (I refer to them as her family as I don’t like being related to American bashers). At the height of my fishing prowess, I’d caught and released many fish while they were still rigging poles.

At some point during the day, one of my wife’s brothers lost another lure (he lost them all). I had been slaying the fish on a lucky red spinner so I gave it to him so he could catch something. Just like the rest, he lost that one also. I thought the fishing gods were against me and I’d be cursed the rest of the day. I have to admit I was a little pissed to have lost the best lure in my box. Having purchased it in America, I knew I wouldn’t be able to replace it like for like. I didn’t catch much the rest of the day.

At some point, we decided to have lunch and left one pole out just in case. My young son had come with my wife by that time and we ate leisurely.

I noticed the rod bending over and gave it to my son to reel in a very nice one. To my surprise, as I removed the lure from his mouth, I asked who had the extra red spinner they baited the hook with, and didn’t tell me.

As it turned out, the actual lure that caught the fish was still in its mouth, and on the other side was my lucky spinner. There may have been hundreds of fish in the lake and to catch the fish with the lure was remarkable. It was attached to a short piece of line so I knew it was the exact one as you couldn’t buy them in Denmark.

I put it away and decided to never fish with it again. I put it in a picture box of memories and knick-knacks on the wall and it sits there today.

This Gen Z wife is baffled that her husband knows NOTHING about pop culture and EVERYTHING about history, geography, and navigation

Check out the comments in the link. They want to buy him a beer. I give you Gen-Z

(sorry the X post won’t embed, I’m fighting with WordPress on this one)

Does anyone else’s husband know nothing about things that everyone knows about but everything about things that no one knows about?

It amazes me that she thinks that female-centric pop culture is what “everyone knows.”

Especially Gen Z pop culture, which most of us over the age of 30 are completely unfamiliar with (I have absolutely no clue what “Jelly Roll” is).

This is probably why she turned off comments.

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It Is A Group Of Nags And Karen’s That We Are Better Off Without – Liberal Women All Over America Are Going on a Nationwide Sex Strike to Punish Men for Voting for Trump

Do they actually think that their plan will work?  During this election, women overwhelmingly supported Kamala Harris and men overwhelmingly supported Donald Trump.  So now some liberal women have decided that it is time for a nationwide sex strike in order to punish men for voting for Trump.  Yes, they are quite serious about this…

Liberal women have sworn to go on sex strike over Donald Trump’s election win.

Mr Trump swept to victory in Tuesday’s presidential race that Democrats cast as a referendum on abortion rights and protections for women.

So let me get this straight.  In order to “punish” us, these women are going to quit engaging in sexual immorality and start acting like chaste conservative Christian women?

And since they won’t be having sex, liberal women won’t be having as many abortions either. I think that we can all live with that.

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Let’s see, no more red flags, no whining about men oppressing them, no more pink and green hair, tattoos, nose rings, and a lot of other baggage.

It will last about a week until they don’t get any attention, then all bets are off.

It’s a shame that they can’t just go away for good and then the dating pool improves a lot in quality.

The Best Of High IQ Humor

Note: this is in Chronological order, not by the best humor. That is for the reader to decide.

I can’t promise anything more than they are all short. Some will find them more challenging than others. The same can be said about humor.

There’s always one that will get you though, no matter who you are. You’ll relate.

Pizza style

Nursery Rhyme style

Car/Math style

Sexy/Math style

Numerology style

Abbreviation style

Quadratic Formula style

Geography style

Art and Driving style

Synonym style/Kangaroo Words

Geometry style

Myrmecology Style

Chemistry Style

Extrapolation Style

Vector, Math And Christmas Tree Style

Christmas Style

Drunk Calculus Style

Acoustics Style

Nobel Style

Brain Style

Chemistry Style

Math Style, Factorial Matters

Taking A Shower/Chemistry Style

Chemistry Style

Periodic Table Style

Newton And Gravity style

Re-Writing History

Thesaurus Style

NASA Style

Nursery Rhyme Style

Botany Style

Star Trek Style

Grammar Style

Smelling Style

Bohemian Rhapsody In A Meme

Chemistry Style

French Fries Style

Mitochondria Style

Physics Style

Trigonometry Style

DNA Style

Entomology Style

Math Style

Math Style

Flat Earth Style

Spelling/Rocket Science Style

Einstein And Relativity Style

Trigonometry Style

Temperature Style

pizza Style

Marvel Style

Eating Style

Chess Style

Ichthyology, Electricity (and high on weed) Style

Temperature Style

Mountain Style

Optics, Photonics, Prism and Prison Style

Chemistry Style

Sarcasm Style

Physics Style

Pet Style

Quantum Physics Style

Ornithology Style

Gang Signals or G-Spot Style

Marine Biology Style

En françes

Breast Style

Electrician Style

Star Wars And Electricity Style

Education Style

Alphabet Style

Anatomy Style

Astrophysics And Sarcasm Style

Thermal/Geometry Style

Trailer Trash Style

Stoner Style

Teacher Style

Chemistry Style

Physics Style

Chemistry Style

Carnival Style

grammar Style

Math And Baking Style

Desert Style

Irony and Currency Style

Star Trek Style

Spelling Style

If You Can Laugh At Yourself

Grammar Style

Looks Like People Want To Drive Real Porsches

In early 2022, Porsche said electric vehicles would account for more than 80% of total annual sales by the decade’s end. That goal is still in place, although the company added an asterisk next to 2030, saying it will depend on how customers react to EVs. In a Q&A session with the press during the conference call pretraining to Q3 2024 sales, the German brand admitted things aren’t going as planned.

Chief Financial Officer Lutz Meschke said the situation in China is “challenging” for Porsche and all the European luxury brands. In the United States and Europe, Porsche sees a “slowdown in the BEV transition and the customer demand is not satisfying overall.” He mentioned that “a lot of customers in the premium/luxury segment are looking in the direction of combustion engine cars. There’s a clear trend in this direction.”

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You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?

Oh, I could ask for world peace, stuff for people I love, and the usual stuff, but my mind went to the sarcastic side as soon as I saw the question. I’m sure the readers will have far more intellectual and meaningful answers than me. But, oh well.

You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?

They were asking for this one. There are a thousand best genie memes out there, but this is my favorite.

If you don’t get it, search A-10 Brrrt for the sound, but I’ll bet all guys know it already.

Yo Momma Jokes and Meme’s

The last time I posted this category, someone got offended that I would make fun of my mother. I didn’t make fun of my mother and they missed the entire point. I’m making fun of my friend’s mothers, the way the jokes have always been. It’s sarcasm, not the theory of relativity.

I’m pretty sure that reader is gone now, but it’s not going to stop me from posting sarcasm and stuff that’s funny if you stop being stuffy. I’ve chased off lots of readers, but I still post stuff I think is funny and stuff I’ve said. In this case, it was probably in middle school.

Trolling Achievement Level: Awesome

Trump Going to Troll Kamala by Working at McDonald’s

Former President Donald Trump plans to work behind the counter and “work the fry cooker” at a McDonald’s in Pennsylvania this weekend.

Trump’s trolling of Vice President Kamala Harris is due to her having repeatedly claimed to have worked at McDonald’s in the past but has not shown any evidence of having done so.

“Kamala never had a job at McDonald’s. Her resume talks about McDonald’s, McDonald’s, McDonald’s,” Trump said at a New York press conference last month.

“Why won’t they just provide real documentation and proof?” Trump campaign spokesman Steven Cheung asked the Daily Beast. “The onus is on them. What does she have to hide?”

Trump had been talking about doing this for a few weeks, such as at a rally in Pennsylvania where he said he may “work the French fry job for about a half an hour,” and then at another rally in Nevada where he said he would for sure do it.

source

He’s owning her without even trying hard.

Sarcasm Deluxe

If you don’t get it, that is a stronghold for Palestinian sympathizers, also known as liberals

What brands do you associate with?

What brands do you associate with?

Anything not woke to start with. As soon as they start the DEI crap, I won’t buy it or even walk into their store.

Now that we have that out of the way….

I told my wife that if she died, I’d buy a Ferrari. I’ve always been a Porsche fan, but I’ve had 3 of them.

Microsoft-Owned LinkedIn Using People’s Data To Train Artificial Intelligence Models – How I Got My Revenge

The story in a minute. First, I stopped working so I didn’t need LinkedIn for anything other than a track record of people I worked with. I wound up changing it though to suit me.

When they wanted pronouns, I used “pronouns are woke” instead of He/him. My college is Faber from Animal House fame, Knowledge is good. I’ve adjusted a lot of of things to poke fun at them can call them out for being woke. I won’t bore the readers, but I lost respect for them and show it.

Now this:

Professional networking platform LinkedIn has confirmed that it automatically uses personal user data to train artificial intelligence (AI) models without first informing its members.

The LinkedIn app displayed on a phone in London on Jan. 11, 2021. Edward Smith/Getty Images

The California-headquartered company said in a Sept. 18 blog post that it has updated the privacy policy element of its terms of service to include language clarifying how it uses the information shared with it “to develop the products and services of LinkedIn and its affiliates, including by training AI models used for content generation (‘generative AI’) and through security and safety measures.”

The platform said that there is an opt-out setting for members when it comes to using their data for generative AI training.

LinkedIn is owned by Microsoft, which has invested heavily in OpenAI, the developer behind ChatGPT. According to the FAQ section of the platform’s website, the AI models used to power generative AI features may be trained by LinkedIn or another provider, such as Microsoft’s Azure OpenAI service.

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Sure, I know one profile isn’t going to change AI, but it’s the most I can do. I make the day of a lot of HR recruiters when my work background meets their search requirements and then they read the satire I’ve left there.

T!TS For Trump, Trying To Out Do The Hawk Tuah Girl

First of all, my favorite line in the whole story is the cop who said she had a seriously great set.

She’s his breast supporter.

An OnlyFans model who shut down the New York City-to-Dublin portal last spring proudly flashed Donald Trump during his rally Thursday night — saying the stunt was part of her larger fundraising effort, called “Tits for Trump.”

Ava Louise, 26, made headlines in May when she flashed the downtown Manhattan portal, which was subsequently shut down. On Wednesday night, she showed off her assets again within full view of Trump and thousands of attendees at the Nassau Coliseum on Long Island, video obtained by The Post showed.

Ava Louise flashed Trump during the Nassau Coliseum rally.
Ava Louise flashed Trump during the Nassau Coliseum rally. Courtesy Ava Louise

She jumped up and down and cheered along with the crowd in hopes of giving the Republican White House nominee, 78, an eyeful. It’s unclear if he spotted her.

While the other MAGA diehards in the audience seemed to appreciate the gesture, a police officer stationed in the crowd immediately pulled Ava and her boyfriend out of their seats, Ava told The Post.

Here it is:

The Secret Service at the venue, however, was more sympathetic, and supposedly convinced the disgruntled cop to let Ava and her boyfriend leave without issue, she alleged.

“Seriously, great set,” a man who appeared to be a federal agent in a khaki polo shirt can be heard complimenting Ava in a video provided to The Post.

The agent even nodded at Ava’s boyfriend, telling him, “Nice job, bro.”

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What’s your all-time favorite album?

What’s your all-time favorite album?

This should cause controversy. It is entirely personal

Led Zeppelin 2,3,4 Houses of the Holy or Physical Graffiti.

Living and dying in 3/4 Time, Son of a Son of a Sailor – Jimmy Buffett

Boston

5th Gear (Brad Paisley)

I could go on and on, but I’ll let others chime in

Here’s the list of best selling albums, but some people have strange taste. Linkin Park, Brittany Spears, Eminem are on the list.

We had the best songs and bands in the 70’s. It’s why they keep doing covers of them.

Best name? You can Tune a Piano, but you can’t Tunafish.

Reasons Women Should Stop Wearing Bra’s

Since women have never worn bras for most of human history, it raises a simple question. Might there be any downsides to the practice?

• Pain — Bras can cause chronic back, rib, neck, shoulder, and breast pain, often tied to restricted breathing. Many women find relief when they take their bras off, yet they continue wearing them in public due to societal expectations.

What is remarkable about this is that most women recognize this (e.g., a survey of 3000 women found that 46% of them enjoy being able to take their bras off at the end of the day,15 while another 3000 women survey found 52% take it off within 30 minutes of getting home16). During the pandemic, many women stated they stopped wearing a bra once the lockdowns allowed them to work from home and, hence, did not “need” one.17

• Breast shape — There’s an ongoing debate about whether bras worsen breast shape over time, potentially increasing sagging. While the evidence is limited, some like this gynecologist18 suggest that not wearing a bra could be cosmetically beneficial, challenging the marketing claim that bras maintain youthful breast appearance.

• Metal allergies — An estimated 17% of women are allergic to nickel,19 commonly used in bra underwires. This can cause skin reactions, yet the industry, wishing to maximize savings, has been slow to offer nickel-free options.

Note: Nickel is found in various products like buttons, glasses, and belts, so if unusual skin symptoms appear, especially in a specific area, a nickel allergy should be considered.

• Impaired circulation — Bras compress the breasts, potentially impairing circulation and lymphatic drainage (as lymphatic circulation is very sensitive to being obstructed by external pressure). This could explain issues like headaches, indigestion, and an even higher risk of breast cancer due to lymphatic stagnation.

• Breast cancer — The most controversial topic is the potential link between bras and breast cancer. While major cancer organizations deny this connection, some holistic and even mainstream sources21 argue that lymphatic stagnation,22 worsened by bras, could contribute to cancer development. Though not widely accepted, the possibility remains a point of concern.

In turn, there is some evidence to support the contention that bras are linked to breast cancer. Specifically:

• A 1991 Harvard study of 9333 people23 that found “Premenopausal women who do not wear bras had half the risk of breast cancer compared with bra users.”

• A 1991 to 1993 study of 5000 women24 that found:

◦ Women who wore their bras 24 hours per day had a 3 out of 4 chance of developing breast cancer.

◦ Women who wore their bras for more than 12 hours but not to bed had a 1 in 7 risk for breast cancer.

◦ Wearing a bra less than 12 hours per day dropped breast cancer risk to 1 in 152.

◦ Women who never or rarely wore bras had a 1 in 168 risk for breast cancer.

For reference, this is 4 to 8 stronger than the association between smoking and lung cancer and is discussed further in the book “Dressed To Kill: The Link Between Breast Cancer and Bras.”25 Furthermore:

  • A 2009 Chinese study found that avoiding sleeping in a bra lowered the risk of breast cancer by 60%.26
  • 2016 Brazilian study of 304 women found women who were frequent bra wearers were 2.27 times more likely to develop breast cancer.27
  • A detailed 2016 meta-analysis comprised of 12 studies found wearing a bra while sleeping doubled one’s risk of breast cancer.28

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I say take them off. It will do you good and give me wood (Rodney Carrington).

Note: this is a real story that I turned into sarcasm. YMMV

What would your life be like without music?

What would your life be like without music?

Although I am a trained musician with years of theory, the absence of music affects me like a lot of people. It is a part of much of my time, both physically and mentally.

I have it going anytime I exercise, which is nearly every day. I have biking playlists (3 hours) and gym playlists. Hell, this morning, I was listening to soft music at the driving range. While it doesn’t seem logical, I have a waterproof iPod that I use when swimming. I do miles at a time so it’s not your basic up and back and be done. That would be a lot more tedious once you go over 100 laps.

Where it gets me though is when I’m listening to a song (usually while driving) and it brings back a memory of a relationship or a time in my life. I relive it in my head and likely write pages in my diary about it. It is usually about growing up because the best music was from the 70’s.

I’m sure everyone does it, but I doubt they explore it in writing to flush out everything that happened when that song was on the radio.

Lately, I’ve forced myself to listen to songs that remind me of my cheating girlfriend who was a traveling whore (stewardess). I try to make myself see if I have any feelings and there is nothing left. I’ve emptied that tank other than the fact that it happened. I’m mostly grateful I didn’t wind up with her ass, being miserable.

Mostly, I’m very happy to feel the time in my life when my responsibilities were few and life was carefree and deadline free.

That’s what music does for me

What’s your favorite word?

What’s your favorite word?

Perspicacious – of acute mental vision or discernment.

Synonyms:

shrewd, sagacious, perspicacious, astute mean acute in perception and sound in judgment.

shrewd stresses practical, hardheaded cleverness and judgment.

a shrewd judge of character

sagacious suggests wisdom, penetration, and farsightedness.

sagacious investors got in on the ground floor

perspicacious implies unusual power to see through and understand what is puzzling or hidden.

a perspicacious counselor saw through the child’s facade

astute, suggests shrewdness, perspicacity, and diplomatic skill.

an astute player of party politics

Joey Chestnut Sets World Record by Downing 83 Hot Dogs – Unfinished Beef

Not only that, Kobayashi downed a personal best of 66 in this contest. Either would have won Coney Island this year by a mile.

Joey Chestnut defeated longtime rival Takeru Kobayashi in a hot dog eating contest on Monday afternoon in Las Vegas, chowing down a world record 83 hot dogs in 10 minutes.

Chestnut broke his own record of 76 hot dogs in 2022. Kobayashi finished with 66 hot dogs, his personal record.

“This is amazing,” Chestnut said afterward. “I’ve been trying to hit 80 hot dogs for years. Without Kobayashi, I was never able to do it. He drives me. We weren’t always nice to each other, but I love the way we push each other to be our best.”

It was the first meeting between the hot dog eating champions in 15 years.

“I feel like I did everything I could,” Kobayashi said.

Chestnut is a 16-time Nathan’s hot dog eating champion in the 4th of July competition on Coney Island in Brooklyn, which he was disinvited from this year after signing with rival hot dog maker Impossible Foods and its vegan hot dog.

Netflix live-streamed Monday’s contest, billed as “Chestnut vs. Kobayashi: Unfinished Beef.”

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I got into competitive eating when Kobayashi was eating so many.

Does anyone else wonder about them having to take a dump the next day like I do?

Holy Crappie, State Record Broken Twice On Same Trip By Buddies

There’s something heartwarming about two fellas fishing together for black crappie, breaking a state record, and then doing it again not 2 hours later. That’s exactly what Lindell Marker and Dwight Priestley did.

On August 8 at 7:30 a.m., Marker caught a 17.36-inch black crappie at Woodrum Lake, breaking Craig Webb’s 17.32-inch state record. Marker’s fish tied the existing weight of 2.85 pounds.

Just 75 minutes later, Priestly landed a 17.76-inch, 3.15-pound black crappie, breaking the very newly set state record. Both of the fish were caught using live minnows, and both records were confirmed and certified by WVDNR Fisheries Biologist Cory Hartman.

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What TV shows did you watch as a kid?

What TV shows did you watch as a kid?

I grew up in the 60’s before they took off the good TV because it was wholesome, albeit not something that challenged our intelligence.

So it was Batman (Adam West), Gilligans Island (My Mom hated us watching that), The Beverly Hillbilies, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie (Even then I knew Barbara Eden was hot), The Wild Wild West, Green Acres and some others of this ilk.

They wiped all of those out for the next round, but we still had WKRP, Taxi, Barney Miller and some of those that were good.

Dad Catches Record Fish On Daughter’s $9.99 Pink Pole

One West Virginia dad etched his name in fishing history by making an impressive catch on the most unassuming gear imaginable.

On July 21, Tyler Rutherford and his relatives spontaneously decided to fish a family farm pond.

They took worms and a few poles, and Rutherford soon cast a line from his 3-year-old daughter’s pink fishing pole out into the 1.5-acre pond.

The young girl is only able to reel the line in, so Rutherford casts it for her.

“We all just grabbed a thing of nightcrawlers,” Rutherford told the West Virginia Outdoors podcast. “I’d got my daughter a little pink $9.99 Zebco from Academy Sports and I’d got my little boy one for Easter.

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Sayings I Used For My Email Closing At Work

I kept this file hanging around and thought I’d share it, YMMV:

L’esprit de L’escalier – things you wish you could have said after you leave an argument

Talk to a fool and he calls you foolish

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”

Vous-avez le cerveau d’un d’un sandwich au fromage –you have the brain of a cheese sandwich

“Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.” (Sign hanging in Einstein’s office at Princeton)

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
– Dale Carnegie

Robert Frost – “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”

Arrête de ramer, tu attaques la falaise. (you can stop rowing now, you’re on the beach)

It is easy to lose one’s perspective in a mass of details.

Failure is but a paragraph in the book of each human life. It is the pages that follow that ultimately define us

Laurence J. Peter – “An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.”

“Racing is Life.  Everything before and after is just waiting.” Steve McQueen from the movie LeMans

Albert Einstein open original article “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former

Joseph Heller -“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed,
no matter which side he’s on.”

Sidney J. Harris – “A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.”

Abba Eban-“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”

When you win, say nothing, when you lose, say less. -Paul Brown

You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. -Michael Jordan

Every game is an opportunity to measure yourself against your own potential. -Bud Wilkinson

Excellence is not a singular act but a habit. You are what you do repeatedly. -Shaquille O’Neal

“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.” Winston Churchill, as quoted in The New American Newspeak Dictionary (2005) by Adrian Krieg, p. 96

 Rudeness is a weak person’s imitation of strength – Oscar Wilde

“What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

Losers quit when they’re tired. Winners quit when they’ve won

370H-SSV-0773H – read upside down

I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race [is] not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

For man also knoweth not his time: as the fishes that are taken in an evil net, and as the birds that are caught in the snare; so [are] the sons of men snared in an evil time, when it falleth suddenly upon them.

— Ecclesiastes 9:11,12 —

“Meetings are indispensable when you don’t want to do anything.” – John Kenneth Galbraith

If guns kill people, then pens misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, forks make you fat, and TVs make you watch porn.

Listen to people. If they are worth talking to, they are worth listening to first.

You can’t change what happens to you in life. All you can change is how you deal with it.

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a $hit in days.

Liberalism: Moochers electing looters to steal from producers

Political Correctness – A term used by whiny pussies that need stuff sugar coated

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” -Albert Einstein

 “I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him.” Abraham Lincoln

“This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.” Elmer Davis

“Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty.”  John F. Kennedy

“Sure I wave the American flag. Do you know a better flag to wave? Sure I love my country with all her faults. I’m not ashamed of that, never have been, never will be.”  John Wayne

“We must always remember that America is a great nation today not because of what government did for people but because of what people did for themselves and for one another.” Richard Nixon

“There is no limit to the greatness of America!” George W. Bush

“Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy.” Ann Coulter

“I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” Nathan Hale

“Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.” Adlai E. Stevenson

“One, if you attack my integrity, I will defend myself. If you attack my patriotism, I will defend myself. If you come after my family, I will counter-attack viciously, I will destroy you.” Scott Ritter

“The American patriots of today continue the tradition of the long line of patriots before them, by helping to promote liberty and freedom around the world.” John Linder  

“Patriotism is easy to understand in America. It means looking out for yourself by looking out for your country.” Calvin Coolidge

“This country will not be a good place for any of us to live in unless we make it a good place for all of us to live in.” Theodore Roosevelt

“You cannot spill a drop of American blood without spilling the blood of the whole world…. We are not a nation, so much as a world.” Herman Melville 

A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within.

– Ariel Durant

“Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.” – George Eliot

Quote du jour

But isn’t it always that way with liberals? The only time they seem to make any sense at all is when they’re drunk or you are.

Burt Prelutsky

Ya gotta be tough if your gonna be stupid.

“Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rapidly promoted by mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end.”

Laurence J. Peteropen original article

“Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.”

“Never judge a book by its movie.”

“Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side.”

“Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
Benjamin Franklin

“Give me four years to teach the children and the seed I have sown will never be uprooted.”
Vladimir Lenin

“When an opponent declares, ‘I will not come over to your side,’ I calmly say, ‘Your child belongs to us already… What are you? You will pass on. Your descendants, however, now stand in the new camp. In a short time they will know nothing else but this new community.’”
Adolf Hitler

Never take advice from women about women.

And the last one was when I retired:

If the phone doesn’t ring, it’s me – Jimmy Buffett

Have (big) Dick, Will Travel

French pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati’s bulge might have played a role in costing him Olympic gold — but now it’s given him the chance for some major green.

After Ammirati’s bulge clipped the crossbar during his pole vault heat at the 2024 Summer Olympics on Saturday, August 3, the image spread like wildfire on social media as viewers marveled at his endowment, while lamenting what it had taken from him. 

As it turns out, Ammirati’s misfortune also caught the attention of adult entertainment company CamSoda who offered him $250,000 in exchange for a 60-minute cam show.

In a letter obtained by Us Weekly, CamSoda Vice President Daryn Parker made the offer to Ammirati, 21, to show off his “goods” in exchange for the big payday.

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He could go Onlyfans with a hog like that

Friday Dick Humor With Meme’s To Steal And Share

What’s The Most Money You’ve Ever Spent On A Meal – And Was It Worth It ?

What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on a meal? Was it worth it?

When I started hunting, I had to buy a tree stand, camo clothes, a gun, and corn to grow to in a field to attract them. I then had to get the tools to process the deer after harvesting it and the same for my son.

I could have bought a venison dinner for under $50 bucks, but probably spent thousands on that first meal.

Absolutely worth it and every deer after that. I guess the cost of the above listed amortized over all the deer, but that first one cost a lot.

When Your Wiener Is Broken And You Can’t Drive It Home

OAK BROOK, Ill.—An Oscar Mayer Wienermobile got into a pickle on a Chicago highway.

The hot-dog shaped Wienermobile hit a car Monday morning along Interstate 294 and its driver lost control and overcorrected, causing it to roll onto its side near the Chicago suburb of Oak Brook, Illinois State Police said.

No injuries were reported after the crash, which prompted the closure of the right lane of northbound I-294 for more than an hour, officials said.

A spokesperson for the Oscar Mayer brand, which has several Wienermobiles, told the Chicago Sun-Times it’s “grateful that everybody involved is safe and there were no injuries.”

Video from the crash scene shows that the yellow and orange Wienermobile was later hauled away on a flatbed truck with apparent damage visible on part of the vehicle.

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What Are Your Future Travel Plans?

What are your future travel plans?

I’m doing it right now.

Instead of waiting at an airport with flights canceled by computer glitches, I’m up in the mountains where it is 30 degrees warmer than home. The food is grown on organic farms nearby and traffic is rare. The only sound I hear while typing this is birds chirping and my dog is at my feet.

I traveled for business for many decades. It was a time when you got service and comfort. Those are long gone now replaced by inconvenience and a general lack of concern by the service and travel industries.

There isn’t much to make me want to get on another cattle car to go wait in lines.

I also grew up in Central Florida before Disney World was built. I watched people pay exorbitant prices to wait for hours in the blazing sun for hours. I went at night or in the 2 weeks that are the Florida winter when my friends who worked there gave me tickets. That isn’t my idea of fun either.

I’d still like to hear from those who like it. It counter balances my position

Why People Suck At Golf

Since I just got off the course, I asked one of the AI engines and this is the answer.

Ah, golf. That beloved sport where people spend hours on the green, only to come back with a score that would make a caveman proud. Why do people suck at golf, you ask? Well, let me enlighten you with my wit and sarcasm.

First and foremost, it’s because golf is a game of precision, and who needs that in their life? I mean, who wants to spend their weekends perfecting their swing, when they could be binge-watching the latest season of “The Bachelor”? It’s so much more fun to watch other people’s lives fall apart, am I right?

Secondly, golf requires patience, and we all know that’s a dying art in this fast-paced world. Who has the time to wait for their turn to putt when they could be scrolling through TikTok and watching videos of people falling off treadmills? Clearly, golf is just not meant for the modern world.

Now, let’s talk about technique. Who needs proper form and a good grip when you can just swing that club like a baseball bat? I mean, it’s not like there’s any difference between the two sports, right? Oh wait, there is. But who cares about that when you can look cool while completely missing the ball?

And let’s not forget about the mental aspect of the game. Golf is a sport that requires focus and the ability to block out distractions, like your annoying golf buddies who insist on giving you unsolicited advice. But why bother with that when you can just let your mind wander and think about what you’re going to eat for dinner? Priorities, people.

In conclusion, people suck at golf because they just don’t have the time, patience, or mental fortitude to truly excel at the game. But hey, who needs to be good at golf when you can be a pro at procrastination and watching reality TV? Keep on sucking, my fellow golfers. It’s what makes this sport so endearingly frustrating.

Common Themes In Mensa Test Questions

The actual questions are secret unless you are taking the actual test, but here are some themes to think about.

If you are feeling brave, here’s the link to the practice test.

Number sequences: Finding patterns and completing number sequences.

Word problems: Solving logical or mathematical word problems.

Logical reasoning: Questions that test your ability to draw logical conclusions.

Pattern recognition: Identifying visual or numerical patterns.

Spatial awareness: Questions involving shapes, rotations, or spatial relationships.

Verbal comprehension: Understanding and analyzing language-based questions.

Family relationships: Determining familial connections based on given information.

Word associations: Finding words that are least like others in a group.

Mathematical calculations: Solving math problems, often presented in word problem format.

Visual puzzles: Analyzing and completing visual patterns or sequences.

Time management: The tests often have time constraints, requiring efficient problem-solving.

Progressive difficulty: Questions typically increase in difficulty as the test progresses.

Multiple-choice format: Many Mensa test questions are presented in a multiple-choice format.

Diverse subject matter: Questions can cover a wide range of topics to test general intelligence rather than specific knowledge.

I’m well acquainted with the Mensa community. Like all people, they come in many flavors. Just because you are in the top 2% of the population in terms of IQ doesn’t make you any better or worse than others. Some of those people are truly amazing people. A couple were royal fuck ups in life.

Which Activities Make You Lose Track Of Time?

Which activities make you lose track of time?

Writing. Note, I want to hear from my reader nicknamed bocopro who has great comments every time. It turns out that he’s a better writer than me and his stuff is funny to read. He has a lifetime of experience to draw upon and I like hearing from the readers.

While I do a lot of physical activities, I’m able to stay in the present about what is going on around me or in life. When I start writing, especially in a personal journal where I pour out my heart on my feelings or memories, I can get lost for a long time.

Occasionally, if I go back to read those words, I can relive that time of the actual occurrence and the time when I wrote it. I feel those feelings deeply and once in a while I am proud of what I wrote.

Joey Chestnut Still The Hotdog Eating King, Ties Nathan’s Winner In Half The Time

Nathan’s Hot Dog Contest, Badlands Booker Let’s Out Booger Burp After Setting World Record

Right out of Revenge of the Nerds

Here’s the original

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Enters A New Era, Loses A Champion

I became enamored with this contest by phenom eater Kobayashi, a skinny kid from Japan who revolutionized competitive eating. It also grosses out my wife. That means I’ve been watching for decades.

Kobayashi was defeated by Joey Chestnut who will not defend his championship this year because of a conflict with the sponsor, Nathan’s hot dogs and others (see below). I’ll still watch, but we will be in the 30 or 40 dog range to win, versus the 60 to76 that we’ve been treated to by Chestnut.

his Fourth of July, Joey Chestnut will be doing what Joey Chestnut does better than any human being alive:

Eating hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog after hot dog…

And on and on, down the hatch, with stunning pace and a strange sort of grace. 

Chestnut—aka “Jaws,” the Michael Jordan of competitive eating, the Picasso of Pork, the Federer of Frankfurters, the GOAT of bloat, a man who once ate a world record 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes—will spend the holiday competing casually alongside members of the U.S. military at Fort Bliss in Texas in a quickly-assembled event airing on his YouTube channel.

Though Chestnut is honored for the opportunity, the stunning news is where the 40-year-old won’t be–parked at a table outside Nathan’s Famous in Coney Island, N.Y., dominating a legendary hot dog eating contest he has won a staggering 16 times.

“Bittersweet,” Chestnut told me in an interview this week.  

Behind Chestnut’s absence is a dispute involving his nascent relationship with Impossible Foods, the plant-based food maker. The partnership chafed the powers behind Major League Eating and the Nathan’s Famous competition, who felt Chestnut was getting cozy with a rival. 

So Chestnut is out, casting a footlong shadow over the annual beachside showdown—and riling a fan base that can’t believe the iconic competition will happen without its signature stomach. 

No Joey Chestnut in Coney Island on the Fourth of July? It’s like asking a bald eagle to stay home in the nest.  

“Stop being such weenies!” New York City mayor Eric Adams wrote in a pun-tastic tweet. 

“The entire country’s [expletive] bummed,” said ESPN’s biceps curl Cronkite Pat McAfee. “I don’t even know if people are going to light off fireworks now.”

“Let the guy suck down dogs!” McAfee pleaded.

Chestnut, who won his first Nathan’s event in 2007 and parlayed his talent into global fame and a full-time occupation, sounded plenty bummed by the conflict. He doesn’t see his relationship with Impossible Foods as a deal-breaker–he’s still a devoted carnivore who sees plant-based food as a supplement to his meat diet, not a replacement. 

He compared it to Tom Brady endorsing Under Armour cleats and also Ugg boots–an interesting choice, given that Tom Brady would sooner eat an Adirondack chair than a meaty hot dog. 

“You can eat meat and you can also eat plant-based meat,” Chestnut said. “I feel like that should be OK with people.”

Impossible Foods had no issues with Chestnut consuming meat products at the Nathan’s event–or anywhere else, said the company’s CEO, Peter McGuinness.

“He’s a flexitarian,” McGuinness said. “He is our target audience. We’re not a vegan company and we need to be appealing to meat eaters.”

Major League Eating’s president, Richard Shea, echoed Chestnut’s term to describe the situation: bittersweet. The issue was a brand conflict, he said. He went on to rave about Chestnut’s talent and indelible mark on the annual competition, which is televised by ESPN. 

“We love Joey, we wish he was there, we support his choice and think it’s a cool tribute, what he’s doing with the troops in Texas,” Shea said. “He’s a great champion.”

After the initial dust-up, MLE and Nathan’s Famous offered to put aside their issues and allow Chestnut to participate in 2024 – but the offering couldn’t bring the hot dog Hoover vac back to the table. 

The relationship may need further repair. Chestnut believed his team was still negotiating when the controversy spilled into view with a Major League Eating statement that they were “devastated” at Chestnut’s decision to partner with “a rival brand that sells plant-based hot dogs.”

Having the impasse go public felt like a gut-punch to Chestnut, the contest’s most identifiable winner, long ago surpassing the competitive eating godfather Takeru Kobayashi of Japan. 

“It’s hard to rebuild trust once bridges have been burned a little bit,” Chestnut said. 

Chestnut trains like an endurance athlete, with vigorous eating sessions to prepare him to push his physical limits. He practices breathing techniques to stay calm and loose and even asks people to come yell at him in practice to try and simulate a noisy contest environment. 

The champion felt on pace for a potentially record-setting Fourth of July. 

“It was definitely my best training in years,” he said. 

While consuming even a half dozen hot dogs would curl me into a fetal ball for a month, Chestnut said he’s in good health. He said he gets his blood regularly checked, and that his doctor remains comfortable with his career choice. 

“He told me whatever I’m doing, I can keep doing it,” Chestnut said. 

After the event at Fort Bliss, Chestnut will turn his attention to a brand-new event–a showdown with storied rival Kobayashi to be shown on Netflix. Billed as “Chestnut vs. Kobayashi: Unfinished Beef” the mano-a-mano gulletpalooza will go down on Labor Day, Sept. 2. 

“I want to make him uncomfortable and he wants to make me uncomfortable,” Chestnut pledged. 

As for a future return to Coney Island, the champ is trying to stay optimistic. 

Can it really be the Fourth of July without Joey Chestnut dogging dogs near the Brooklyn boardwalk? 

“I love that contest,” said the hot dog gawd. “I would do anything reasonable to make it back there.”    

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The Most and Least Expensive Beers at College Football Stadiums

For years, college football fans had to resort to tailgating for their pre-game beers, as NCAA rules and various state laws prevented the sale of alcohol inside stadiums. This changed gradually as universities recognized the potential for increased revenue and improved fan experience.

The NCAA began relaxing its stance and by the mid-2010s several schools started to pilot beer sales during games. Today, a significant number of stadiums have embraced this change, though prices can vary dramatically.

As a byproduct many of the nation’s most difficult environments to play in have become all the more ruckus given the inclusion of alcohol.

Let’s break down the most and least expensive beers available in college football stadiums, as highlighted in a recent tweet by @CFBRep.

Most Expensive Beers According to @CFBRep

  1. Tennessee Volunteers 
    • Price: $13 per beer
    • You had to expect that an SEC program would come in first place, and it did.
  2. UCLA Bruins and the Colorado Buffs
    • Price: $12 per beer
  3. Minnesota Gold Gophers and Rutgers Scarlet Knights
    • Price: $11 per beer
    • The Big Ten has two teams tied for third, both coming in north of $10/beer. If you’re in Minneapolis be sure to pair cheese curds with your beer…oh and dress in layers.
  4. Arkansas Razorbacks, USC Trojans, Oregon St. Beavers, NC State Wolfpack, Syracuse Orange, Virginia Tech Hokies, Purdue Boilermakers and Illinois Fighting Illini.

rest of the colleges and beers here

Yes, Spaceballs 2 Announced – May The Schwartz Be With You

Please Lord, don’t let them ruin this. At least it’s Mel Brooks.

A sequel to the 1987 Mel Brooks monster hit “Star Wars” parody “Spaceballs” is in the works, with actor Josh Gad and Brooks on board producing the upcoming film.

Amazon MGM Studios confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter that a sequel to the 1980s comedy is in early development with Gad not only on board to produce, but star in as well.

The script is being written by Dan Hernandez, Benji Samit, and Gad, with Josh Greenbaum helming the project, the outlet noted.

Details of the plot are being kept under wraps for now with Kevin Salter on board as executive producer.

“Spaceballs” came out from MGM a decade after George Lucas introduced the world to the Force in “Star Wars” in the late 1970s.

The parody’s cast included such up-and-coming stars of the time as John Candy, Rick Moranis, Bill Pullman, and Daphne Zuniga. And the C-3PO parody character was voiced by the late-star Joan Rivers.

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Trying To Stop The Olympic Athletes From Having Sex

Low birth-rates are a real civilization concern in all the western hemisphere, with data regarding fertility rates in the population also sending shivers through the spine of those examining this dire situation.

So all we don’t need now is furniture specially designed to prevent people from having sex. That’s of course not to suggest that people ought to have casual sex as much as possible or anything like that – but there is no denying that this trend in furniture is awfully wrong.

After it arose that Athletes at the Paris 2024 Summer Olympics will be sleeping on cardboard anti-sex beds, now it appears the mania is spreading far and wide in the European continent, and extending to the fans, too!

New York Post reported:

“Apparently, you don’t have to be an Olympian to be cursed with an anti-sex bed: A Scottish soccer fan who had reserved a hotel on Booking.com was horrified after discovering that the mattresses were made of cardboard, as detailed in a thread on X.

‘Wait till you see the absolute shambles of a situation @bookingcom put us in last night,” user RoryB96 said while describing the digs, which they’d booked over the weekend while watching Scotland play at the UEFA European Championship in Germany’.”

Of course, in many ways this story is just about the alleged lack of quality in accommodation booking sites, but it underscores the trend.

“’One of the beds was made out of cardboard and also held together by duct tape’, Rory described. ‘The 2nd bed was a sofa bed that was broken and disgusting’.”

A real cardboard city.

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I’ve got news for you, they are the best athletes in the world, meaning they have probably also have the biggest sex drive. It’s that time of life. If people want to screw, a cardboard bed isn’t going to stop it. They used up all of the free condoms last Olympics meaning they had enough sex for any 10 people in 2 weeks

The End Of A Dynasty, Joey Chestnut Is Out Of The 4th Of July Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest

Joey Chestnut, the famed champion of Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Competition, is stirring controversy this year after opting out of the annual event due to a sponsorship deal with Impossible Foods, a plant-based hot dog brand, according to sources revealed exclusively by The Post.

The California-native Chestnut has dominated the Nathan’s competition, securing victory 16 times, with a world record 76 hot dogs devoured in 2021 and holding onto his title with 62 consumed last year.

It’s kind of lame that he went with vegan wieners. Those things are about the only thing less healthy than a hot dog.

That’s 70 uneaten wieners this 4th. Fortunately, it was made up by Kamala who is renowned for downing wieners.

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Paige offered to fill in