If you know, you know: Florida is more than a glorious, sun-drenched vacation land. It’s a weird and chaotic, semi-lawless-feeling place dangling off of the edge of America. And for Maddy (@maddy.1414), who lives in Tampa Bay, that is exactly why she swears it’s not even a “real place.”
In a TikTok video that’s been watched over 689,000 times, Maddy spotlights one of the quirkiest, most counterintuitive things about life in Florida. And shockingly, it has nothing to do with alligators or the Brightline. It’s all about drive-thru drinks.
One For The Road, Literally
“Florida is not a real state,” says Maddy in the intro to her video. Sure, she’s going hard, but she promises to back up her claim with evidence. The video then cuts to her ordering at a drive-thru. “Can I just get one espresso martini?” she says.
A voice replies, “Yeah, sure thing.”
She pulls around to the window. But while waiting, she speaks directly into the camera again. “OK, if you know me, you know that I always say Florida isn’t a real state because you can do things here that you shouldn’t be able to legally do,” she says.
MY STORY FROM YEARS AGO
When a stupid youth in high school and college, I remember going through the brew-threw to get a six pack for the beach or wherever I was going. They were available in Orlando and along the beach. We had fake IDs and just cruised in and out. The best thing I ever did was move out of that state. That meant splitting a six-pack to the beach and another one on the way home. It was only a one hour drive away. I could have blown the limit by double, which was higher back then. That business made a killing. We’d have to wait in line for our turn, it was so busy, any time of day. I think they finally passed a law to stop it, but I haven’t been there in years.
How I’m alive is beyond me.
Now, when I see a Florida tag in my current state, I steer clear because I know it’s a bad driver. The minute you cross the border from Georgia, people pass in the right lane. The old people get into the fast lane and drive slowly. They also drive into pools in South Florida fairly regularly
Now, If I have to go out with my brother-in-law to dinner, he has a cocktail, a bottle of wine, and an after dinner drink. I gave it up 30 years ago, yet he drives because I don’t know where I’m going where they live, and he thinks he’s a big shot. How he doesn’t have a DUI or a broken neck is beyond me. It’s why I avoid my family when possible. I also won’t drive with him anymore.
If I’m a cat, I’ve used up 8 lives.
Delusions of Adequacy 