Fishing Story – Trying Take A Leak Off The Back Of A Boat In 32 Degree Weather

In my younger days, I was passionate about fishing. At the time, I was inland so lake fishing was my only real weekend option, so I was all in. I was good with catching anything, but bass and stripers were at the top of the food chain.

One winter day, my fishing buddy (read he had a boat and I didn’t) Brian called me up and said let’s go. I checked the weather report and it was going to be in the 30’s, but I had nothing to do so my dumbass bundled up and went out on the lake.

I knew damn well that the fish had lockjaw under 40 degrees, but away we went, at zero dark thirty o’clock.

I figured it would be a day of casting practice and not catching, but that never stopped a fisherman. The ride to the perfect spot is never short, so we blasted through the freezing air as fast as the bass boat could go. No sense in going at a reasonable speed. I had to wait once we got there just to de-ice.

Here’s where the story begins.

At some point, the coffee went through me and I had to piss. I waited as long as I could so that when I reached the moment of truth, I could actually go.

So here I am on the back of the boat about ready to bust and now I have to take off a jacket, gloves, a pair of Ski pants, long johns, thermal underwear, and finally try to find my dick.

It was all (relatively) warm at about 32 degrees, but once my dick hit the freezing air, it revolted and said not today Jack. As I said, I was at the moment of truth and had to go. I was hoping for a huge stream to get it over with and not piss on the boat because then I’d have to stick my hand in the freezing water to wash it off.

After digging through all of my clothes and trying to get ready to force it out, My dick tried to crawl inside my body. It gave a weak effort, so I’m trying not to piss on my clothes, the boat, and trying to hit the water instead of everything else. I managed to get it done, but I don’t recall my dick being that cold ever before. It even revoted when I had to grab it with freezing fingers.

As for fishing, on a day we should have been skunked, I slayed the bass. I seemed to throw the right lure in the right place all day. I caught them off of stumps, on the spawning beds, on crankbaits, and on worms.

It was a helluva day fishing, but a terrible time trying to take a leak. I think that was the last time I tried that, although I’ve spent plenty of time in a tree stand hunting deer and trying not to piss.