What makes you nervous?
I reached a point in life where I have learned enough that I shouldn’t make bad mistakes or faux pas, yet I do.
It’s difficult enough to express your real feelings, compounded by knowing you’ve let somebody else down is soul crushing sometimes.
I can make it worse by rehashing it in my mind over and over until the point I have to admit it or ask forgiveness.
Delusions of Adequacy 
Yeah . . . I made a mistake once — late summer, 1956. Thursday afternoon, around 1800 or so as I recall. Thought I had screwed up, but I was wrong. Very unsettling.
One thing does bother me muchly. Woman and I have been together since early ’62. Blush is inarguably off the rose. Honeymoon’s been over for quite some time.
In other word, we’re an old couple, sleepin in separate bedrooms, and apparently my major contribution to the relationship is as her javelin catcher.
I get it, tho . . . she has advanced macular degeneration, lactose intolerance, and no reason to wear a bra since her bilateral radical mastectomy. Gives her every right to be a li’l bitchy now and then, and I gotta take it when the lava ejects.
Strangely, however, the nervousness THAT brings isn’t as troubling as that I experience when she hits the road with one of our kids to visit others of our kids/grandkids. Worry 24/7 in her absence ’til she gets back in that saddle she thinks is on my back.
Fortunately I have a very clingy miniature Australian shepherd to help regulate my BP and rep rate. And the memories from 19-forgotten are still sweet.
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