But as an unmarried woman in my 30s, I also realize there’s no quick fix to this situation—and that married Americans are often unaware of how bleak the current dating landscape can be. Ultimately, if we’re going to have more healthy marriages, we need to change our dating culture.
Take this new lawsuit, which highlights just how insane the current dating world is.
The plaintiff, Nikko D’Ambrosio, alleges he was defamed in a private Chicago Facebook group for women, called “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Facebook groups with this name began sprouting up in 2022, allowing thousands of women to swap information—rarely of the flattering variety—about local single men.
Although this seems like a recipe for idle gossip, it was also a way for women to warn other women of the bad behavior of particular local men so they could avoid them.
D’Ambrosio says he was defamed in the Chicago Facebook group, but was unable to join it to defend himself or get the moderators to remove the posts about him. In one post mentioned in his lawsuit, a woman wrote: “Very clingy very fast. Flaunted money very awkwardly and kept talking about how I don’t want to see his bad side, especially when he was on business calls.”
Another woman wrote: “I went out with him a few times just over a year ago—he told me what I wanted to hear until I slept with him and then he ghosted … I’d steer clear.” (The term “ghosted” refers to when a romantic interest stops responding to all forms of communication without announcing a breakup or an end of contact.)
A bunch of girls getting together to trash men online because they didn’t get what they wanted. I’ve got news for you, you never really get all that you want.
Anytime I didn’t contact a girl back, it was because there were too many red flags and she practically drove me away. It was never a pump and dump. We didn’t hit it off and I saved both of us a lot of wasted time. Sometimes I read the body language and it was her that said we were done. I can take a hint.
The part about social media ruining people’s lives is right though. It sets up false expectations that are never met, then gives you a place to gripe in public and tear down others at the same time.
Delusions of Adequacy 