I’ll bet if you ask most people of a certain age, they are going to realize that this is true. I remember asking my father for life advice on his 75th birthday. He answered, “where did it all go so fast?” You’ll find that one below also.
Read and learn if you are young, commiserate if you agree.
#1 – I talk to myself because there are times I need expert advice.
#2 – I consider “In Style” to be the clothes that still fit.
#3 – I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.
#4 – My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance for idiots that needs work.
#5 – The biggest lie I tell myself is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”
#6 – I have days when my life is just a tent away from a circus.
#7 – These days, “on time” is when I get there.
#8 – Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.
#9 – Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
#10 – Lately, I’ve noticed people my age are so much older than me.
#11 – “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering why I’m there.
#12 – When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a mini-vacation.
#13 – Some days I have no idea what I’m doing out of bed.
#14 – I thought growing old would take longer.
#15 – Aging sure has slowed me down, but it hasn’t shut me up.
#16 – I still haven’t learned to act my age and doubt I’ll live that long.
Unfortunately, these are all sadly true!
Here is a little Friday humor, inspired by all the recent going’s on in the news about housing prices, immigration, pot, high taxes, overburdensome government regulation and the usual stuff you read about.
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
5. You can’t remember . . . is pot illegal?
6. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can’t remember . . . . is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can’t remember . . . .is pot illegal?
14. It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station: “STORM WATCH.”
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones.
16. Or it’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
19 The Terminator was your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver’s license. If you’re here illegally, they want to give you one.
Hat tip to American Digest for this one.