Rules For Livin’ In The South

I’ve been around the world on business and pleasure.  I’ve witnessed many cultures and have adapted to their rules and etiquette.  I found this and thought it was funny.  It will help you when visiting the south.  If the SHTF, leave the city because you won’t last long.  They will survive and prosper during most crises just short of a nuclear attack.

Here goes:


If you are going to live, or visit  in the south, you need to know the rules.

In an effort to help outsiders  understand the rural Southerner’s mind, the

following list will be handed to  each person as they enter a Southern state.




1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you do

all week at the gym.


2. It’s called a ‘gravel road.’ No matter how slow you drive, you’re going

to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get it out of the way.


3. The red dirt – it’s called clay. Red clay. If you like the color, don’t

wash your car for a couple weeks – it’ll be permanent. The big lumps of it –

they’re called “clods.”


4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we

saw Bambi. We got over it.


5.  Any references to ‘corn fed’ when talking about our women will get you

whipped – by our women.


6. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don’t cry to us if a flathead

breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout

you fish for – bait.


7. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.


8. Men, if you want to wear earrings,  pierce your nose and what evers, and

wear your hair long, go right ahead –  but if we call you ma’am, don’t be



9. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final

approach, we will  shoot it. You might want to be sure it’s not up to your

ear at that  time.


10. That’s right, whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you

paid in the airport for one drink.


11. No, there’s no  ‘Vegetarian Special’ on the menu. Order steak. Order it

rare. Or, you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham

and turkey.


12. Tea – yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is sweet. You

want it hot – sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened – add a lot of



13. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over



14. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car.  We’re real impressed. We have

a quarter of a million dollar combine that we  only use two weeks a year.


15. Let’s get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when

it’s red. We may even stop when it’s yellow.


16. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks – because they want to.  So,

you’re a feminist. Isn’t that cute.


17. We eat dinner together with our families, we pray before we eat (yeah,

even breakfast), we  go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays, we go to high

school football games  on Friday nights, we still address our seniors with

‘yes, sir’ and ‘yes,  ma’am’, and we sometimes still take Sunday drives

around town to see friends  and neighbors.


18. We don’t do ‘hurry up’ well.


19. Greens – yeah, we have greens, but you don’t putt on them. You boil them

with either salty  fatback or a ham hock.


20. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream, and carp, too. You really want sushi

and caviar? It’s available at the bait shop.


21. They are pigs. That’s what they smell like. Get over it. Don’t like it?

Interstate 65 and 40 goes two ways – Interstate 24, 55 and 75 goes the other

two. Pick one.


22. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on

them. You want to put milk and sugar on them, then you want cream of wheat –

go to Kansas. That would be I-40 West.


23.  The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer season or dove season. Both

are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight

at the church on either day.


24. So every person in every pickup waves?  Yeah, it’s called being friendly.

Understand the concept?


25. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don’t hit in the water hazards. It spooks

the fish and  bothers the gators – and if you hit it in the rough, we have

these things called Diamondbacks, and they’re not baseball players.


26. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like

an idiot – his name  is Sir, no matter how old he is.


27. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park

your electric vehicle under them, and they’ll  leave a logo on your hood.


28. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions.

The liberal contingent of our state legislature – all 4 of them – enacted a

measure to stop this. There is now a  $10 fine for beating up the flag



Now, enjoy your visit… I emphasize – ‘visit.

Do You Ever Wonder Why…….?

*Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

*Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?

*Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

*Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?

*Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on Start”?

*Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

*Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush Hour?

*Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

*When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

*Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

*Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

*Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

*Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

*If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


How To Buy Gifts For Men

Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.

Follow these rules and you should have no problems.

Rule #1:

When in doubt, buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he

already has one. I have a friend who owns 17, and he has yet to

complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one

knows why.

Rule #2:

If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word

“ratchet” or “socket” on it. Men love saying those two words. “Hey

George, can I borrow your ratchet?” “OK. By the way, are you through

with my 3/8-inch socket yet?” Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3:

If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car: a 99-cent

ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his

rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4:

Never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told that if God had wanted men to

wear bathrobes, he wouldn’t have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5:

You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn

out. If you have a lot of money, buy your man a big-screen TV with the

little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips,

and flips.

Rule #6:

Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or

deodorant. I’m told they do not stink – they are “earthy.”

Rule #7:

Buy men label-makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple

of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. “Socks. Shorts.

Cups. saucers. Door. Lock. Sink.” You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #8:

Never buy a man anything that says “some assembly required” on the box.

It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.

Rule #9:

Good places to shop for men include Bass Pro Shops,Cabellas, Northwest Iron Works,

Parr Lumber,Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA

Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men’s stores.)

It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know what it is. (“From NAPA Auto, eh?

Must be something I need. Hey! Isn’t this a starter for a ’68 Ford

Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.”)

Rule #10:

Men enjoy danger. That’s why they never cook, although they will

barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell

him the gas line leaks. “Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a


Rule #11:

Tickets to a Cowboys game are a smart gift. However, he will not

appreciate tickets to “A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts.” Everyone

knows why.

Rule #12:

Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you

don’t know why, please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a


Rule #13:

It’s hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension

ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension

ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #14:

Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least

The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8″ manila

rope. No one knows why.

How Much Income Tax Warren Buffet Pays

Despite his request to pay more taxes and that the rich do not do their fair share, it appears that Mr. Buffet has reduced his tax burden.  While you read the story below, consider if there is a double standard.

From Thomas Stanley, Ph.D.

Warren Buffett is the best of the best at transforming income into wealth.    How did he do it?  Wise investing, you say.  Combine this with his reputation for having enormous integrity and his well publicized frugal lifestyle.  When it comes to consumption he seems to possess traditional midwestern values.  In spite of his substantial wealth he lives in a relatively modest home and drives American makes of cars.  Ah , but there is something else.  As I stated in The Millionaire Next Door,

Millionaires know that the more they spend, the more income they must realize.  The more they realize, the more they must allocate for income taxes.  So . . . adhere to an important rule:  To build wealth, minimize your realized (taxable) income and maximize your unrealized income (wealth/capital appreciation without a cash flow).

You may recall from an earlier blog that the typical millionaire next door has a realized income that is equivalent to only 8.2% of his wealth [median].  But Mr. Buffett is much better at miniziming his income as a function of net worth.  According to the 2012 Forbes 400 list, Mr. Buffett has a net worth of $46 billion.  CNN Money reported that “his taxable income was $39,814,784” in 2010.  That is the equivalent of only 0.087% of his net worth! Translated, the typical millionaire next door’s percentage of realized income to his net worth (8.2%) is nearly 95 times higher than Mr. Buffett’s (8.2%/0.087%).

Also consider something else in this equation:  income tax as a function of net worth.  The typical millionaire next door pays the equivalent of approximately 2% (median) of his net worth in income tax annually.  But here again Mr. Buffett is far, far better in minimizing his income tax.  According to Reuter’s, “[Warren Buffett] paid only $6.9 million in federal income taxes in 2010.”

In a nominal sense, $6.9 million in income tax might appear to be a significant amount of money.  But look at Mr. Buffett’s tax bill as a function of his net worth, that is $6.9 million as a percentage of his $46 billion in wealth.  At this rate he is paying the equivalent of only 0.015% of his net worth.  Compare this with the 2% paid by the millionaire next door.  This rate is more than 133 times greater than Mr. Buffett’s.  In fact, if Mr. Buffett was taxed at the same rate (2%) he would owe the Treasury Department $920,000,000 or nearly $1 billion.  You might say that it is unAmerican not to pay your fair share.  But Mr. Buffett gets special dispensation regarding this topic.  Why?  He has pledged to leave the vast majority of his estate to noble causes.  And according to Forbes, he has already demonstrated considerable generosity.  “He gave $1.5 billion to the Gates Foundation in July, bringing his total giving to $17.5 billion. . . in August he pledged $3 billion of stock to his children’s foundations.

Who is more likely to do an efficient job distributing money from your estate, the government or enlightened eleemosynary organizations?  You know the answer and apparently so does Mr. Buffett.

How Warren Buffet Can Fix the Debt and Deficit Problem in 5 Minutes

It’s worth your read and is worth doing.  We should press for this:

Warren Buffett, in a recent interview with CNBC, offers one of the best quotes about the debt ceiling:

“I could end the deficit in 5 minutes,” he told CNBC. “You just pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more than 3% of GDP, all sitting members of Congress are ineligible for re-election.

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971 – before computers, e-mail, cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took one (1) year or less to become the law of the land – all because of public pressure.

Warren Buffet is asking each addressee to SHARE this on Facebook or forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.

Congressional Reform Act of 2012

1. No Tenure / No Pension.

A Congressman/woman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they’re out of office.

2. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social

All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for any other purpose.

3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.

4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise.
Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

5. Congress loses their current health care system and
participates in the same health care system as the American people.

6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen/women are void effective 12/1/12. The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen/women.

Congress made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in
Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers
envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their
term(s), then go home and back to work.

If each person SHARES this on Facebook or contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message. Don’t you think it’s time?


Homeschooling, The Antidote For Notoriously Inadequate Public School Systems

Our public school system has been decaying for decades.  My parent’s education was actually better than mine for fundamentals.  I only benefited from more current knowledge and information…..and considerable hard work.  When it’s easy to cruise through school as it is now fundamentally flawed (and the US ranks very low compared to the world in math and vocabulary scores), the facts are indicating that the kids learn less.  It has come out that 80% of high school kids in NYC can’t read.

Some have taken a step to leave this indoctrination and are Home Schooling their kids.  If you’ve followed the spelling bee championships, home schooled kids regularly win.  It’s a parent’s duty to do the best for their kids, whatever it takes.

Here is an article from the USA Today describing the dynamics and results of going down this path:

“What about home schooling? You know, it’s not just for scary religious people any more.” That’s a line from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and it should strike fear into the hearts, not of vampires, but of public-school administrators everywhere.

The fact is, Americans across the country — but especially in large, urban school systems — are voting with their feet and abandoning traditional public schools, to the point that teachers are facing layoffs. Some are going to charter schools, which are still public but are run more flexibly. Some are leaving for private schools. But many others are going another step beyond traditional education, and switching to online school or even pure home schooling.

And, as Buffy so accurately noted, it’s not just “scary religious people.” In fact, rather than scary, those religious people are looking more like trendsetters. A recent piece in The Atlantic told of purely secular parents’ decision to take their kids out of New York public schools and home school instead:

Click on the link above for the full story

Update: California public schools are poisoning the minds of youth now also.

Update: Georgia cheats on SAT’s costing careers of students and educators

The Critical Factors Driving Up American Healthcare Costs vs. Other Countries

Why can’t the US get it right vs. other countries?  It is explained below.  Most of all, our politicians have gotten in the way of actual healthcare.  We need to get rid of them first, although that is not the nature of this article, but the crux of how we got where we are.

Check out the one where other countries deal with their population that smokes way more than the US does….need I say more?

By Samuel Metz

The Bipartisan Policy Report titled “What is Driving US Health Care Spending? America’s Unsustainable Health Care Cost Growth” issued in September lists seven factors increasing American health care costs. The “fiscal cliff” debates include many of these arguments.

While these factors do indeed play roles in American health care, almost all are at work in other industrialized countries, all of whom provide better care to more people for half what we spend. Good intentions aside, the report overlooks critical (and dysfunctional) characteristics of American health care and instead distracts itself with factors never mastered by any country (including ours).

The report was prepared under the direction of former Senate majority leaders Tom Daschle (D-S.D.) and Bill Frist (R-Tenn.), former Senator Pete Domenici (R-N.M.) and former Congressional Budget Office Director Dr. Alice Rivlin. With such participants, the report certainly qualifies as bipartisan, but unfortunately the final product does not qualify as accurate.

Here are the seven factors. They are largely irrelevant in our quest for better care at less cost.

1. Many industrialized countries pay providers on a fee-for-service basis, seemingly rewarding more care rather than better care. Yet their costs are lower and their citizens are healthier.

2. Other countries face aging populations with higher smoking rates and more chronic illnesses than we have. Yet their costs are lower and their citizens are healthier.

3. Other countries face patient demands for the latest therapies. Yet their costs are lower and their citizens are healthier.

4. Other countries do not financially penalize patients seeking care. Yet their costs are lower and their citizens are healthier.

5. Other countries provide patients with no more information about complex health decisions than we do. Yet their costs are lower and their health results are better.

6. Many hospital systems in other countries dominate their markets. Yet their costs are lower and their citizens are healthier.

7. The one exception making us unique is our malpractice costs. Yet defensive medicine costs $55 billion annually, just 0.2% of our $2.6 trillion health care spending.

Thus we face the same challenges every country faces. But American costs are increasing faster and are already twice as high. What are these other countries doing differently? They apply three characteristics missing from American health care:

  • Everyone is included without discrimination against the sick. Unlike other countries, Americans encourage private insurance companies to insure only healthy patients, leaving sicker patients to government programs, charities, or no care at all.
  • Patients can seek care without financial penalty. We are unique in using high deductibles and co-pays to discourage patients from primary care. Although patients in other countries see their physicians more frequently and spend more days in the hospital than we do, their costs are less and their citizens are healthier.
  • Financing is provided exclusively by publicly accountable, transparent, not-for-profit agencies. Although providers make a profit in many countries, we are the only nation in which financing agencies make a profit.

No country, including ours, has ever resolved the Bipartisan Policy Report factors. Yet our health care costs are the world’s highest. Although the report is bipartisan, it misses the critical factors driving up American health care costs. And unfortunately so does the Affordable Care Act, another valiant but futile effort at addressing our health care crisis. If the US wants a health care system that provides better care to more people for less money, we should take our lessons from countries already doing so, not from think tanks speculating on economic theories never applied successfully anywhere.

Successful systems around the world can teach us proven methods of containing costs while providing better care, but if only we choose to learn from them. These policy makers chose to ignore these lessons. The rest of us should not.

The State of Our Next Generation

A discussion on presidential qualifications at Purdue recently produced the following discussion on who was qualified to be president.  I hold most colleges in the same esteem as this one, except for Ivy League schools and UC-Berkley which are worse.

You, who worry about Democrats versus Republicans–relax, here is our real problem.

In a Purdue University classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States .

It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural
born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

However, one girl, in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. The class was taking it in and letting her rant, and many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating “What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?”

Yep, these are the same kinds of 18-year-olds that are now voting in our elections!

And they walk among us and they reproduce !!!

You, who worry about Democrats versus Republicans–relax, here is our real problem.

Yep, these are the same kinds of 18-year-olds that are now voting in our elections! And who voted for our current President and Congress who continue to fail Americans every time they attempt anything at this point