World’s Shortest Books (Satire)

For those easily offended, move along, nothing to see here.  For those with a sense of irony, humor and perhaps sarcasm, enjoy.

The World’s Shortest Books:

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.
Illustrated  by Michael Moore
________________________________________

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS &
HOW I HELPED AFTER  KATRINA

by
Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
_______________________________________


THINGS I  LOVE ABOUT BILL
by
Hillary Clinton
________________________________
Sequel:
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY

By Bill  Clinton
___________________________________

MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE

by Osama Bin Laden
___________________________________

THINGS I  CANNOT AFFORD

by Bill Gates

____________________________________

THINGS I  WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY

by Dennis Rodman
_________________________________

THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE

by Al Gore & John Kerry

_____________________________________
AMELIA EARHART’S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

___________________________________

A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES

by Dr. J.. Kevorkian

__________________________________
ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE

by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O’Donnel

____________________________________
GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE

by Mike Tyson

__________________________________
THE AMISH  PHONE DIRECTORY
_______________________________________
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS

by O. J. Simpson
_________________________________________

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES

by Ted Kennedy
___________________________________

MY BOOK OF MORALS

by Bill Clinton with introduction

by the Rev. Jesse Jackson
*******************************************************


AND, JUST ADDED:

Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy!

By Nancy Pelosi

**************************************************************************************************************************

My Real-World Work Experience

by Barack Obama

Interesting Facts About Israel and the Middle East

Below is some vital information for you to assimilate and to ready to give to others who do not understand.

ISRAEL AND JERUSALEM FACTS

1. Israel became a state in 1312 B.C., two Millennia before Islam;

2. Arab refugees from Israel began calling themselves “Palestinians” in 1967, two decades after (modern) Israeli statehood;

3. after conquering the land in 1272 B.C., Jews ruled it for a thousand years and maintained a continuous presence there for 3,300 years;

4. the only Arab rule following conquest in 633 B.C. lasted just 22 years;

5. for over 3,300 years, Jerusalem was the Jewish capital. It was never the capital of any Arab or Muslim entity. Even under Jordanian rule, (east) Jerusalem was not made the capital, and no Arab leader came to visit it;

6. Jerusalem is mentioned over 700 times in the Holy Bible, but not once is it mentioned in the book of Qur’an;

7. King David founded Jerusalem ; Mohammed never set foot in it;

8. Jews pray facing Jerusalem ; Muslims face Mecca . If they are between the two cities, Muslims pray facing Mecca , with their backs to Jerusalem ;

9. in 1948, Arab leaders urged their people to leave, promising to cleanse the land of Jewish presence. 68% of them fled without ever setting eyes on an Israeli soldier;

10. virtually the entire Jewish population of Muslim countries had to flee as the result of violence and pogroms;

11. some 630,000 Arabs left Israel in 1948, while close to a million Jews were forced to leave the Muslim countries;

12. in spite of the vast territories at their disposal, Arab refuges were deliberately prevented from assimilating into their host countries. Of 100 million refugees following World War II, they are the only group to have never integrated with their co-religionists. Most of the Jewish refugees from Europe and Arab lands were settled in Israel , a country no larger than new jersey ;

13. there are 22 Muslim countries, not counting Palestine … there is only one Jewish state. Arabs started all five wars against Israel , and lost every one of them;

14. Fatah and Hamas constitutions still call for the destruction of Israel .. Israel ceded most of the west bank and all of Gaza to the Palestinian authority, and even provided it with arms;

15. during the Jordanian occupation, Jewish holy sites were vandalized and were off limits to Jews. under Israeli rule, all Muslim and Christian holy sites are accessible to all faiths;

16. out of 175 United Nations Security Council Resolutions up to 1990, 97 were against Israel ; out of 690 general assembly resolutions, 429 were against Israel ;

17. the U.N.. was silent when the Jordanians destroyed 58 synagogues in the old city of Jerusalem .. it remained silent while Jordan systematically desecrated the ancient Jewish cemetery on the mount of olives, an d it remained silent when Jordan enforced Apartheid laws preventing Jews from accessing the temple mount and Western Wall.

these are trying times. We must ask ourselves what we should be doing, and what we will tell our grandchildren about our actions during this crisis, when we had the chance to make a difference.