I remember back in the 80′s when I had exclusive access to some very important reporters as only about 50 of us were on MCI Mail and it was sort of a club that we had.  We didn’t say it, but we didn’t share our secret as they got pounds of press releases by snail mail daily.  If they got an email over a 300 baud modem, they knew it meant something.  We only contacted each other when it was important, so no one abused it.

Remember, this was the days of the office memo that got typed on a typewriter and sent around. CC’s were made with carbon paper so it was to tough to abuse it due to the trouble

The Evolution, Email is the new Snail Mail, and Spam King

Later, Outlook, Lotus Notes, Pegasus and a ton of other email clients have come and gone.  Email could now even be regarded as the new snail mail, and certainly it’s the king of Spam.  Being CC’d or BCC’d on thousands of notes fills up inboxes globally.  Many have gone to multiple email addresses to divert off the spam for personal use, but if you work for a company, you’re stuck with that address that is all to easy to find.

So what are the up’s and down’s to email?  It can be the only way to reach someone (in a company, a text message or tweet DM is likely faster) if they are in a different timezone or are miles up the corporate ladder for you.  So that is good.

Slogging through endless emails that have little impact are a time suck now and you must fight the urge to respond, stopping the chain.  There are other downsides which I’ll discuss below.

Email Road Rage

Ranting behind the false curtain of email rather than face to face or calling the person directly.  I dubbed this tactic Email Road Rage.  All have been the recipient of it or have seen someone go off the deep end, many times later to regret it.  Bosses seem to think they have immunity on this, but it inhibits employee behavior and openness via email exchange.

The best executive I’ve worked directly for, Buell Duncan once told me to answer these kind of emails once, and then let it roll off your back like water off a duck. Don’t spend nights letting it keep you up.  Deal with it and be done.

While it may be tempting to get into the fray, especially when one is feisty is to defend your position, attack back or go behind the offender’s back describing in unflattering terms what kind of a person would send these emails, the best answer is…..

Don’t Respond Unless Required.

Most email stops when you stop the chain.  I get you have to answer the boss, but not joining the fray is the best medicine.  I have found this hard to do, but being a Ph.D. in the School of hard knocks, I’ve learned to not answer when at all possible.  Don’t explain or defend yourself, just use the del key, the appropriate response.  This is true for tweets.  I’ve gotten into endless tweetbacks that I wish had never happened.  Now I just ignore and I’ve forgotten the next day or someone else is naive enough to get caught into the trap.

Along with don’t answer is don’t send.  You can avoid a lot of useless email if you don’t feel the obligation to fire off emails at every whim.  I’m learning that lesson also.  My inbox thanks me.

The most important time to start going dark is….

Before Vacation

I purposely don’t start anything that could bite me while I’m trying to not work.  IBM is the poster child for people working on vacation, something I try hard not to do.  I got emails from bosses on anniversary vacations, which I’m sure made their spouses happy.  The way I see it, the doors to the company will stay open while I’m away.  Americans are notorious for not being good vacationers.  Not me.  I put on that I won’t be checking email until I return.

The key to this is to start slowing down a few days before you leave.  This slows the wheels of motion and gets the anonymity going.

Conclusion

While email can be helpful and it certainly is still our main method of communicating, it follows Sturgeon’s law.  Life has enough of that anyway, so why add to it?

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F- off!

(9) Don’t worry about it, I’ll do it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

One of the biggest risks to any project manager is having people on the team with the wrong attitude, bad work habits or incompatible skills. Do not accept them on your team, even temporarily – a temporary assignment may outlast your tenure, and is likely to, if you accept these people. Your job is not to rehabilitate, but to implement your project. Have  a clear understanding with your boss of what your job really is. Your boss will only be successful when you are successful, so your boss should support your efforts.

The Poison People are not just dead wood, they infect the entire team, hurting morale, and hurting work habits. They will require time from both you and the other team members to deal with them, their problems and their incompetence. Good workers do not want to be on the same team with these people.
1.      Retired-on-the-job Rudy – Rudy may, in fact, be close to retirement or just a non-performer. Whatever skills he once had (autocoder and board wiring) are either rusty or of little use on your project.
2.      Bad Luck Bob – Bob has never worked on a project that has been successful. Disaster seems to follow him wherever he goes. His bad luck will undoubtedly rub off on the project.
3.      Obstructionist Orville – Orville finds fault with every approach suggested and will argue every minor point that could be debated.  By the time he is finally convinced (and then not convinced but grudgingly acquiesces) the project is way behind schedule or has been cancelled.
4.      Learning Lena  – Lena believes she can take on her assignments only if she attends classes (all scheduled in resort locations) for the next six months.
5.      Researcher Russ – Russ believes that we should not move forward until we have thoroughly evaluated every tool on the market, brought each one in for extensive  evaluation and testing and visited all the reference sites.
6.      Incompetent Ernie – Ernie couldn’t find his mouse at high noon with both hands.
7.      Oldie Goldie – Goldie has been with the company since the company was founded. She knows everything and everyone. She manages to stay employed by playing the politics very well and by working the minimum time. She does manage to look busy. It doesn’t matter what you assign her, she only works on tasks she enjoys doing. She has seen many project managers come and go and is willing to take her chances that she will outlast you.
8.      Gunslinger Gus – Gus doesn’t believe in following standards, rules or anything else. Version control is an annoyance and cramps his style. He’s pretty confident of the quality of his code and so his motto is “Testing is always an option.”
9.      Water Cooler Walt – Walt loves to discuss everything with the team, whether it’s relevant to the work or not. Unfortunately, he doesn’t just do it at the water cooler, he drops into the other team members’ cubicles and wastes their time and they don’t know how to get rid of him politely or otherwise.
10.  Big Idea Bernie – Bernie has read everything – and he believes everything he reads. He knows every web site and he attends every conference. Unfortunately, he’s too busy to actually do anything productive.
11.  Internet Ida – Ida surfs the net for everything. Very little of it applies to her job. She is an internet junky and, even though she has been urged to, she has not yet joined the 12 Step Program for Internets Anonymous.
12.  Safe Stan -  Stan has some mysterious connections that protect him from ever being fired. He may be the CIO’s wife’s idiot  son (by a previous marriage) or he may have some pictures that the Board’s Chairman would not want on the front page of the Evening Bugle.
13.  Insensitive Igor – Whenever Igor opens his mouth, he manages to offend everyone, and those that seem to be the most offended are the users. You hate to bring him to meetings for you know you will have to make amends later on.
14.  Saboteur Sam – Sam hates everything and everybody. He has an ax to grind and thinks the company has done him wrong. He does his best to sabotage every project he is on.
15.  Heat-seeker Henry – Henry know no fear. He will try anything and everything, as long as it is new and technical, even if he brings down a few systems in the process.
16.  Reminiscing Rena- Rena remembers the Good Ol’ Days and she reminds you of them constantly. Nothing ever lives up to her expectations, and it takes an act of God to get her to try something new.

So, you say, you can’t get rid of these people. What to do? Establish a gulag; separate them from the productive workers. Make the separation physical as well as by tasks. Separate them from the mainstream project. Give them work to do that will keep them out of trouble, will not detract from your project and will minimize contact with the rest of the team. Give them tasks such as reviewing all the code and reporting on standards violations – a complete review is always required when anyone makes even the slightest change in their code. You might also assign them to research obscure tools that have no chance of ever being chosen, but be sure that activity does not take up the vendors’ time as well.

This article is excerpted from a book titled Data Warehouse Project Management.

I’ve stated before that technology is sucking more and more out of our personal lives.  We check email, crackberry’s, internet, blogs, twitter too much instead of life.

It turns out that that is today’s theme.

ComputerWorld writes of the health hazards of being an IT desk jockey.  Here’s the killer:

Finally, work-related stress, while motivating in manageable doses, can grind down your health over time. Undue stress can lower your immune defenses, increase the risk of heart disease and bring on anxiety, depression and difficulty sleeping, according to the Mayo Clinic.

Ziff Davis challenges us with:

Have we all become a bunch of anxious, depressed, sleep-deprived irritable stress-heads?

The story has the paragraph header:

ENOUGH!!!! TURN THE FREAKING COMPUTER OFF! PUT THE STUPID BLACKBERRY AND IPHONE DOWN!

IT workers, particularly those that are in IT service delivery or are in operational/support roles are constantly trying to meet employer and customer demands. We’re tied to email and instant messaging, and not just on our computers — we’re now permanently attached to our Blackberries and iPhones and other smart devices. We’re expected to be available at all times, and to be responsive, no matter where we are or what time of day it is……our synapses are firing like a V-12 Ferrari.

This is something to think about.  Work smarter, not harder or more.  Employees – you’ll be more productive, Managers – you’ll get more out of your employees…

Parents – shut down the video games and have a conversation with your kids.