Delusions of Adequacy

Yes, once again, my blog name gets dissed. First it was Euphemism’s for stupid, now it’s cutting comments by famous people, see below.

A List of Insults from Famous People

A List of Insults from Famous People
“A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.” -Louis Nizer (1902 – 1994)
1994)

“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” – Winston Churchill

“I’ve just learned about his illness; let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

“I have never killed a man but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” – Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul.” – David Lloyd George

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

“His ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open.” – Howard Hughes (about Clark Gable)

“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” – Jack E. Leonard

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” – Abraham Lincoln

“You’ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.” – Groucho Marx

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.” – Robert Redford

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” – Thomas Brackett Reed

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” Mark Twain

“A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.” – Mark Twain

“I didn’t attend the funeral but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”- Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

“He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends.”- Oscar Wilde

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts–for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

For the full list of 2000 uses, go here

I thought that you might like to know more about this well-known WD-40 product.

When you read the “shower door” part, try it. It’s the first thing that has cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass. It’s a miracle.

Then try it on your stovetop, it’s now shinier than it’s ever been.

The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and de-greaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a “Water Displacement” compound. They were successful with the Fortieth formulation, thus WD-40.

The Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect their Atlas missile parts. The workers were so pleased with the product they began smuggling (also known as “shrinkage” or “stealing”) it out to use at home. The executives decided there might be a consumer market for it and put it in aerosol cans. The rest is hist-ory. Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you.

Here are a few of the 1000s of uses:

~Protects silver from tarnishing.
~Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
~Gets oil spots off concrete driveways.
~Gives floors that ‘just-waxed’ sheen without making ! them slippery.
~Keeps flies off cows.
~Restores and cleans chalkboards.
~Removes lipstick stains.
~Loosens stubborn zippers.
~Untangles jewelry chains.
~Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
~Removes dirt and grime from the bar-becue grill.
~Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
~Removes tomato stains from clothing.
~Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
~Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
~Keeps scissors wo! rking smoothly.
~Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.
~Gives a children’s play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
~Lubricates gear shift and mower-deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.
~Rids rocking chairs and swing! s of squeaky noises.
~Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
~Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
~Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards and vinyl bumpers.
~Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
~Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
~Lubricates wheel sprockets on tri-cycles, wagons and bicycles for easy handling.
~Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
~Keeps rust from forming on saws an! d saw blades, and other tools.
~Removes splattered grease on stove.
~Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
~Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
~Keeps pigeons off the balcony. (they hate the smell)
~Removes all traces of duct tape.
~I have even heard of folks spraying it on their arms, hands, and knees to re-lieve arthritis pain.
~Florida’s favorite use was “cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers”.
~WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
~WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. It’s a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
~Keeps chiggers away from the kids.
~Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately, and stops the itch.
~WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
~Also, if you’ve discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and re-wash. Lipstick is gone.
~If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start. (If I knew what a distributor cap was, it might help.)
~WD-40, long known for its ability to remove leftover tape smunges (sticky label tape), is also a lovely perfume and air freshener! Sprayed liberally on every hinge in the house, it leaves that dis-tinctive clean fresh scent for up to two days!
~Seriously though, it removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor. Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn’t seem to harm the finish, and you won’t have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off . Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
~Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly. WD-40 will remove them.

Someone sent me this list and I thought it was real funny, about until I got to the H’s. Then reality hit home. If you fit this list, I gave a little hint on how to find what I’m referring to.

If one of these offends you, take the complaints elsewhere, I’m the one that got dissed here.

A beer short of a six pack
A brick short of a load
A couple of eggs shy of a dozen
A couple of gallons short of a full tank
A few ants short of a picnic
A few beers short of a six-pack
A few bricks short of a pile
A few bricks short of a wall
A few cards short of a deck
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few feathers short of a whole duck
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
A few peas short of a casserole
A few tomatoes short of a good thick sauce
A few trucks short of a convoy
A fortune cookie short of a Chinese dinner
A pepperoni short of a pizza
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on
A sandwich short of a picnic
A train short of a full service?
About as bright as a burnt out 20 watt light bulb.
About as useful as a chocolate fireguard
Ah say, that boy reminds me of Paul Revere’s ride; a little light in the
belfry
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity
An intellect rivalled only by garden tools
As much use as a hedgehog in a condom factory
As much use as an ashtray on a motorcycle
As quick as a tortoise on Prozac
As smart as bait
As useful as a screen door on a submarine
As useful as a wooden frying pan
As useful as tits on a bull
Body by God, Mind by Mattel.
Bright as Alaska in December
Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
Doesn’t have both oars in the water
Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box
Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash
Doesn’t have all the dots on his dice
Donated his body to science before he was done using it
Dumb as a corn cob.
Dumb as a stump.
Dumber than a bag of hammers.
Dumber than a bag of rocks
Elevator don’t quiet make the top floor
Fell out of the family tree
Forgot to pay his brain bill
Goes surfing in Nebraska
Golf bag doesn’t have a full set of irons
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together
Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn’t watching
Gross ignoramus — 144 times worse than a normal ignoramus
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt

This is the one —> Has delusions of adequacy.

Has two brains, one’s lost and the other is out looking for it
Having an intelligence rivalled only by garden tools.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
He had a little too much chlorine in his gene pool.
He is so dumb, he would look for a wishbone in a soft-boiled egg.
He is so dumb, the only thing he ever read was an eye-chart.
He played too much without a helmet
He’s got a mind like a steel trap, rusted shut
He’s got a leak in his think-tank
He’s got a mind like a steel sieve
He’s got his feet firmly planted 3 feet above the ground
He’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer
He’s so dense light bends around him
He’s so dumb he couldn’t pour the water out of a boot if the instructions
were on the heel
His belt doesn’t go through all the loops
His cheese has slipped off his cracker
His porch light ain’t on
I say, that boy is about as sharp as a sack of wet mice
If brains were chocolate – he wouldn’t have enough to fill an M&M
If brains were dynamite – he wouldn’t have enough to blow his nose
If brains were dynamite, he wouldn’t have enough to blow his hat off
If brains were gasoline, he couldn’t ride a moped around a fruit loop
If brains were taxed, he’d get a rebate
If he had a brain, he’d be dangerous
If he had another brain, it would be lonely
If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week
If stupid were a talent, he would be considered gifted
If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change back
If you stand close enough to him you can hear the ocean
Isn’t firing on all 6 cylinders
Isn’t firing on all thrusters
Its hard to believe that he beat out half a billion other sperm
Kangaroo loose in the top paddock
Like a pair of children’s scissors, bright and colourful, but not too sharp
Million dollar body and a 2 dollar engine.
Mind is in neutral, body is in gear
Mind like a rubber bear trap.
Needing a few screws tightened
Not firing with all spark plugs
Not the brightest light in the harbour
Not the brightest light on the Christmas tree
Not the sharpest hook in the tackle box.
Not the sharpest pencil in the box
Off his rocker
On/off switch is broken in the off position
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl
One neuron short of a synapse
One taco short of a combination plate
One turbine short of an airplane
One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests
Prime candidate for natural deselection
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
Requires directions to lay sod
Room temperature IQ
Running about a quart low
Running on empty
Sets the lowest possible goals, and consistently fails to achieve them.
Sharp as a bowling ball.
She is so dumb, she couldn’t tell which way an elevator was going if she
had two guesses.
She is so dumb, when I asked her to pass the plate, she said: “Upper or
lower?”
She’s not tied too tight to the pier
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled
Strong like bear, smart like tractor.
Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes
The elevator is stuck between floors.
The lights are flashing, the gate is down, but the train isn’t coming
The lights are on, but nobody is home.
The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead
Too dumb to pull his head in before he shuts the window
Too many yards between the goal posts
Two hub caps short of a Buick.
Warning – Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
Was left on the tilt-a-whirl too long as a baby
Would be out of her depth in a mud puddle.
Your the flower of my life (you blooming idiot)
You can’t call him an idiot, you’ll insult all the idiots in the world.